Tess Ocean
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Quotes for
Tess Ocean (Character)
from Ocean's 11 (1960)

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Ocean's Eleven (2001)
Danny: Now, they tell me I paid my debt to society.
Tess: [sarcastically] Funny, I never got a check.

Danny: [talking privately over dinner while Tess is waiting for Terry] You remember the day I went out for cigarettes and didn't come back? You must have noticed.
[goes to sit down]
Tess: I don't smoke. Don't sit!

[last lines]
[Danny has just got out of jail]
Danny: Hi!
Tess: [in Rusty's car] Hi. We need to get Rusty a girl.
Rusty: [jokingly] There's a women's prison down the road.
Danny: [noticing Tess is wearing her wedding ring] You said that you sold this.
Tess: I said that.
Danny: Liar.
Tess: Thief.
[they kiss]

Danny: [referring to her relationship with Terry] Does he make you laugh?
Tess: [sincerely] He doesn't make me cry.

Danny: [talking privately over dinner while Tess is waiting for Terry] Tess, you're doing a great job curating the museum, the Vermeer is quite good, simple, vibrant, but his work definitely fell off as he got older.
Tess: [implying Danny has similarities with Vermeer] Remind you of anyone?
Danny: And I always confuse Monet and Manet. Now which one married his mistress?
Tess: Monet.
Danny: Right, and then Manet had syphilis.
Tess: [sarcastically] They also painted occasionally.

Tess: [talking privately over dinner while Tess is waiting for Terry] You're a thief and a liar.
Danny: I only lied about being a thief, I don't do that anymore.
Tess: Steal?
Danny: Lie.
Tess: [referring to Terry] I'm with someone who doesn't have to make that kind of distinction.
Danny: [sarcastically, referring to Terry] No, he's very clear on both.

Tess: You know what your problem is?
Danny: [sarcastically] I only have one?

Tess: [was talking privately over dinner with Danny until Terry finally shows up] Danny was walking through the restaurant when he spotted me.
Terry: Is that right?
Danny: Yeah, imagine the odds.
Terry: [sarcastically, partially quoting one of Rick's line's from Casablanca] Of all the gin joints in all the world.

Tess: You of all people should know Terry, in your hotel, there's always someone watching.

Danny: I'm not joking, Tess.
Tess: I'm not laughing, Danny.

Tess: [waiting to have a romantic dinner with Terry] You're thirty seconds late, I was going to send out a search...
[looks up and surprised to see Danny]

Tess: [talking privately over dinner while she's waiting for Terry] Do you remember what I said when we met?
Danny: You said I'd better know what I'm doing.
Tess: And do you? Because you should walk out that door if you don't.
Danny: I know what I'm doing.
Terry: [finally shows up] What are you doing?

[last lines before epilogue]
[the crew has just pulled off the heist. Danny is in handcuffs being escorted to a police car. Tess runs outside of the casino to find him]
Tess: Wait! Wait! Wait. Wait, that's my husband. That's my husband.
[to Danny knowingly]
Tess: Danny...
Danny: [Smiling] Tess, I told you... I knew what I was doing.
Tess: [Tearing up] I didn't.
[pause]
Tess: How long will you be?
Danny: ...Three to six months, I guess.
[Danny is placed into the police car. Through the window he smiles at Tess reassuringly. Through teary eyes, Tess smiles back]


Ocean's 11 (1960)
Beatrice Ocean: There's only one thing you love, Danny: that's danger. Cliffhanging. You could never love a woman like you love danger.

Beatrice Ocean: [to Sam Harmon] I'll consider mistress, plaything, toy for a night, but I refuse to be your mother. That's out!

Beatrice Ocean: [to Danny Oceans] Oh, Danny. What a prize you are. The only husband in the world who'd proposition his own wife.

Danny Ocean: I've got great news for you.
Beatrice Ocean: Auburn beat Alabama by twelve points.

Danny Ocean: Well I married you once and it didn't work out too well, so what's wrong with a little hey-hey?
Beatrice Ocean: Nothing. Nothing at all. I'd never knock it as long as there was a little love involved.
Danny Ocean: You mean there isn't.
Beatrice Ocean: On your part, not much.

Beatrice Ocean: [to Sam about her marriage with Danny] We didn't have a home, Sam. We had a floating crap game.

Danny Ocean: Danny asks Beatrice "What's new"?
Beatrice Ocean: Beatrice says "Well Auburn beat Alabama by 20 points".


Ocean's Twelve (2004)
Tess Ocean: You're doing recon work on our anniversary?
Danny Ocean: Tess...

Tess Ocean: [while trying to get through a crowd of fans thinking she's Julia Roberts] How is this going to get Danny out?
Linus Caldwell: We need someone famous.
Tess Ocean: Why didn't you get someone famous?
Linus Caldwell: Just think Four Weddings and a Funeral.
Tess Ocean: [rather bewildered] She wasn't in Four Weddings and a Funeral.
Linus Caldwell: 'I'. 'I wasn't in Four Weddings and a Funeral'! Just protect your fake baby!

[to Danny on the phone]
Tess Ocean: There's water in the basement, and the pilot light is out.

Tess Ocean: Ma Marcus?
Julia Roberts: Um... No it's Julia.
Tess Ocean: um... oh... Hello Julia... it's ah... Julia.

Tess Ocean: This is just wrong.
Linus Caldwell: You mean like... morally?
Tess Ocean: Well... yeah I guess.

Tess Ocean: Linus Caldwell junior varsity you are not following any of the procedures that Danny and I talked about if Terry Benedict shows up, so something is wrong, what is wrong?