Quotes for
Dr. Ian Malcolm (Character)
from Jurassic Park (1993)

The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997)

Dr. Ian Malcolm: Did you find him?
Roland Tembo: Just the parts they didn't like.

[about the poison on the darts in their guns]
Eddie Carr: The most powerful neurotoxin in the world. It works faster than the nerve conduction velocity, which means the animal's down before it actually feels the - P! - prick of the dart.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Is there an antidote?
Eddie Carr: What, like if you shot yourself in the foot? Don't do that, you would be dead before you even knew you had an accident.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: When you try to sound like Hammond, it comes off as a hustle. I mean, it's not your fault. They say talent skips a generation. So, I'm sure your kids will be sharp as tacks.
Peter Ludlow: Hammond's reach exceeded his grasp. Mine does not.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Taking dinosaurs off this island is the worst idea in the long, sad history of bad ideas. And I'm gonna be there when you learn that.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: What's your background? Wildlife photography?
Nick Van Owen: Yeah. Wildlife, combat... you name it. When I was with Nightline, I was in Rwanda, Chechnya, all over Bosnia. Do some volunteer work for Greenpeace once in a while.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Greenpeace? What drew you there?
Nick Van Owen: Women. 80 percent female, Greenpeace.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: That's noble.
Nick Van Owen: Yeah well, noble was last year. This year I'm getting paid. Hammond's check cleared, or I wouldn't be going on this wild goose chase...
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Uh, where your going is the only place in the world where the geese chase *you*!

Dr. Ian Malcolm: It's fine if you wanna put your name on something but STOP putting it on other people's headstones.

[searching the island for Sarah]
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Sarah! Sarah!
Nick Van Owen: Sarah Harding!
Dr. Ian Malcolm: How many Sarahs you think are on this island? Sarah!

Dr. Ian Malcolm: Oh, yeah. Oooh, ahhh, that's how it always starts. Then later there's running and screaming.

[after re-capturing the baby T-Rex in San Diego]
Sarah Harding: How do we find the adult?
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Just follow the screams.

Roland Tembo: The Rex just fed, so he won't be hunting for a while.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Just fed? I assume you're talking about Eddie? You might show a little more respect, the man saved our lives by giving his.
Roland Tembo: Then his problems are over. My point is, predators don't hunt when they're not hungry.
Nick Van Owen: Yeah, only humans do.
Roland Tembo: Oh, you're breaking my heart. Come on! Saddle up, let's get this moveable feast under way!

Sarah Harding: I love you. I just don't... need you right now.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: I'll tell you what you NEED, a good anti-psychotic!
Sarah Harding: I'll be back in five or six days.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: No, you'll be back in five or six PIECES!

John Hammond: Don't worry, I'm not making the same mistakes again.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: No, you're making all new ones.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: Hang on, this is gonna be bad.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: Mommy's very angry.

Sarah Harding: You know, I have made a career out of waiting for you.
Kelly Malcolm: You know, Sarah does have a pretty good p...
Dr. Ian Malcolm: It's so important to your future that you not finish that sentence.

[Eddie finds Ian, Sarah, and Nick trapped in a trailer hanging over a cliff]
Eddie Carr: What do you need?
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Rope!
Eddie Carr: OK, rope! Anything else?
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Yeah, three double cheeseburgers with everything!
Nick Van Owen: No onions on mine!
Sarah Harding: And an apple turnover!

Dr. Ian Malcolm: [to Hammond] So you went from capitalist to naturalist in just 4 years. That's something.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: You sent my girlfriend to this island alone?
John Hammond: Sent is hardly the word. She couldn't be restrained.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: [to Kelly] Hey, you want some good parental advice? Don't listen to me.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: I'll be right back. I give you my word.
Kelly Malcolm: [pounds her fists on the railing] But you *never* keep your word!

Sarah Harding: [referring to the T-Rexes] This isn't hunting, Ian, it's searching. They're looking for their infant.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Let's not disappoint them.

Sarah Harding: What's everybody looking at?
Dr. Ian Malcolm: [spots the T-Rex transfer ship speeding towards the harbor]
Dr. Ian Malcolm: We should've stayed in the damn car.

[to Ludlow as the T-Rex terrorizes San Diego]
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Now you're John Hammond.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: The school cut you from the team?

Kelly Malcolm: Boy she's mad at you.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: I feel sorry for that guy Enrique.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: OK, so there is another island of dinosaurs, no fences this time and you wanna send people in, very few people, on the ground? Right?

Dr. Ian Malcolm: Why don't people listen to me? I use plain and simple English, I don't have any accent that I'm aware of...
Sarah Harding: Oh, shut up.

Kelly Malcolm: She doesn't even have Sega. She's such a troglodyte.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Cruel, but good word use.

[why Sarah didn't tell Ian about going to the island]
Sarah Harding: Because I knew you would have stopped me from coming.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: I would have tied you to the bed.
Sarah Harding: I figured out how the dinosaurs survived without lysine.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: I don't care!

[about the high hide]
Eddie Carr: It keeps you out of harm's way, away from the animals.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Actually, it would put them at very convenient biting height.

[to his daughter, Kelly]
Dr. Ian Malcolm: The queen, the goddess, my inspiration.

[while luring the T-rex to follow them to the docks]
Sarah Harding: Ian, slow down.
[Ian looks behind him and sees the T-rex coming]
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Uh... I don't think so.

[When Sara's camera runs out of film and the baby dinosaur roars]
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Oh, they get very angry when you run out of film.

Sarah Harding: [about the baby T-Rex] He's too drugged.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: He's never gonna know we have it if the thing doesn't make some kind of sound.
Sarah Harding: Come on. Wake up. Come on. Come on. Wake up.
[baby T-rex growls. Adult T-Rex sniffs the air then roars in their direction]
Sarah Harding: He knows.

[after taking the baby T-Rex and putting it in the car]
InGen Guard: Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing?
Dr. Ian Malcolm: I'm taking the kid. If you really want to stop us, shoot us.

Kelly Malcolm: Dad, are you mad?
Dr. Ian Malcolm: No, I'm not mad - I'm furious!
[Looks around the messy trailer]
Dr. Ian Malcolm: What is this? This looks like your room.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: Eddie, is there any reason to think that the radio in the trailer might work?
Eddie Carr: If you feel at all qualified, try turning the switch to "on."

Dr. Ian Malcolm: What are you talking about? Five years of work and a hundred miles of electrified fence couldn't prepare the other island. And you think that, what? A couple dozen Marlboro men were going to make a difference here?

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Jurassic Park (1993)

Dr. Ian Malcolm: The lack of humility before nature that's being displayed here, uh... staggers me.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: She's... ah... tenacious.
Dr. Alan Grant: You have no idea.

Dr. Alan Grant: You married?
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Occasionally.

Henry Wu: You're implying that a group composed entirely of female animals will... breed?
Dr. Ian Malcolm: No, I'm simply saying that life, uh... finds a way.

[watching Gennaro jump out of the tour car and sprint to the porta-potty at the sight of the T-Rex]
Dr. Alan Grant: Well, where does he think he's going?
Dr. Ian Malcolm: When you gotta go, you gotta go.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: I'm always on the lookout for the future ex-Mrs. Malcolm.

Dr. Alan Grant: It looks like we're out of a job.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Don't you mean extinct?

Dr. Ian Malcolm: Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.

John Hammond: All major theme parks have had delays. When they opened Disneyland in 1956, nothing worked!
Dr. Ian Malcolm: But, John. If the Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: I'll tell you the problem with the scientific power that you're using here: it didn't require any discipline to attain it. You read what others had done and you took the next step. You didn't earn the knowledge for yourselves, so you don't take any responsibility... for it. You stood on the shoulders of geniuses to accomplish something as fast as you could and before you even knew what you had you patented it and packaged it and slapped it on a plastic lunchbox, and now
[pounds table with fists]
Dr. Ian Malcolm: you're selling it,
[pounds table again]
Dr. Ian Malcolm: you want to sell it!

[Malcolm walks up to a huge mound of dino-droppings]
Dr. Ian Malcolm: That is one big pile of shit.

[Dr. Ellie Sattler has dug through a pile of dino-droppings with her hands]
Dr. Ian Malcolm: You will remember to wash your hands before you eat anything?

Dr. Ian Malcolm: Anybody hear that? It's an... It's an impact tremor, that's what it is... I'm fairly alarmed here.

[while being chased by the T-Rex]
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Must go faster.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: Remind me to thank John for a lovely weekend.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs...
Dr. Ellie Sattler: Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits the earth...

Dr. Ian Malcolm: God help us; we're in the hands of engineers.

[being chased by the T-Rex]
Dr. Ian Malcolm: You think they'll have that on the tour?

[realizing that the park is out of control]
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Boy, do I hate being right all the time!

Dr. Ian Malcolm: There. Look at this. See? See? I'm right again. Nobody could've predicted that Dr. Grant would suddenly, suddenly jump out of a moving vehicle.
Dr. Ellie Sattler: Alan? Alan!
[Jumps out of the vehicle]
Dr. Ian Malcolm: There's, another example. See, here I'm now sitting by myself, uh, er, talking to myself. That's, that's chaos.

[after finding Malcolm with a broken leg]
Dr. Ellie Sattler: Should we chance moving him?
[the Tyrannosaur roars nearby]
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Please, chance it.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: But again, how do you know they're all female? Does someone go into the park and, uh... lift up the dinosaurs' skirts?
Henry Wu: No, we control their chromosomes. It's really not that difficult. It just takes an extra chromosome developed at the right hormonal stage to make them male. We simply deny them that.

Muldoon: What about the lysine contingency? We could put that into effect!
Dr. Ellie Sattler: What's that?
John Hammond: It is absolutely out of the question.
Ray Arnold: The lysine contingency - it's intended to prevent the spread of the animals is case they ever got off the island. Dr. Wu inserted a gene that makes a single faulty enzyme in protein metabolism. The animals can't manufacture the amino acid lysine. Unless they're continually supplied with lysine by us, they'll slip into a coma and die.
Dr. Ellie Sattler: How could we cut off the lysine?
Ray Arnold: No real trick to it. Just stop running the program, leaving them unattended.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: How long before they become comatose?
Ray Arnold: It would be totally painless - they'd just slip into unconsciousness and die.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: How long until they slip into unconsciousness?
Ray Arnold: Hmm... seven days, more or less.
Dr. Ellie Sattler: Seven days? Seven days? Oh, that's great. Clever!
Dr. Ian Malcolm: That'll be a first - man and dinosaur all die together. John's plan.
John Hammond: People. Are. Dying! Mr. Arnold, will you please shut down the system.
Ray Arnold: OK, but... you asked for it. Hold on to your butts!
[switches the mainframe off]

[All of a sudden their electric car stops]
Dr. Alan Grant: What did I touch?
Dr. Ian Malcolm: You didn't touch anything. We stopped.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: You did it. You crazy son of a bitch you did it.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: I love kids! Anything at all *can* and *does* happen... Same with wives, for that matter...

John Hammond: Condors! Condors are on the verge of extinction. If I was to create a flock of condors on this island, you wouldn't have anything to say!
Dr. Ian Malcolm: No hold on, this is not some species that was obliterated by deforestation, or the building of a dam. Dinosaurs, uh, *had* their shot, and nature *selected* them for extinction!

Dr. Ian Malcolm: What is so great about discovery? It is a violent, penetrative act that scars what it explores. What you call discovery, I call the rape of the natural world.

[Upon entering through the gigantic park gates]
Dr. Ian Malcolm: What've they got in there, King Kong?

Dr. Ian Malcolm: [Ian Malcolm leans to face camera in electric tour car when the T-Rex doesn't appear] Now eventually you might have dinosaurs on your, on your dinosaur tour, right? Hello?
Dr. Ian Malcolm: [he taps the camera lens and breathes on it] Yes?
John Hammond: [John Hammond watches the camera feed with his face in his hands] I really do hate that man.

Dr. Alan Grant: [sees Ian trying to distract the T-Rex] Ian, freeze!
Dr. Ian Malcolm: [starts running with the T-Rex in pursuit] Go get the kids!
Dr. Alan Grant: Get rid of the flare!

[Dr. Grant gets back in the car after checking with the other car for a working radio]
Dr. Alan Grant: Their radio is out too. Gennarro said to stay put.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: The kids OK?
Dr. Alan Grant: I didn't ask. Why wouldn't they be?
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Kids get scared.
Dr. Alan Grant: What's to be scared about? It's just a little hiccup in the power...
Dr. Ian Malcolm: I didn't say I was scared.
Dr. Alan Grant: I didn't say you were scared.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: I know.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: Don't you see the danger, John, inherent in what you're doing here? Genetic power is the most awesome force the planet's ever witnessed, yet you wield it like a kid that's found his dad's gun.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: If there is one thing the history of evolution has taught us it's that life will not be contained. Life breaks free, expands to new territory, and crashes through barriers, painfully, maybe even dangerously.

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