Dr. Ian Malcolm
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Quotes for
Dr. Ian Malcolm (Character)
from Jurassic Park (1993)

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The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997)
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Did you find him?
Roland Tembo: Just the parts they didn't like.

[about the poison on the darts in their guns]
Eddie Carr: The most powerful neurotoxin in the world. It works faster than the nerve conduction velocity, which means the animal's down before it actually feels the - P! - prick of the dart.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Is there an antidote?
Eddie Carr: What, like if you shot yourself in the foot? Don't do that, you would be dead before you even knew you had an accident.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: When you try to sound like Hammond, it comes off as a hustle. I mean, it's not your fault. They say talent skips a generation. So, I'm sure your kids will be sharp as tacks.
Peter Ludlow: Hammond's reach exceeded his grasp. Mine does not.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Taking dinosaurs off this island is the worst idea in the long, sad history of bad ideas. And I'm gonna be there when you learn that.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: What's your background? Wildlife photography?
Nick Van Owen: Yeah. Wildlife, combat... you name it. When I was with Nightline, I was in Rwanda, Chechnya, all over Bosnia. Do some volunteer work for Greenpeace once in a while.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Greenpeace? What drew you there?
Nick Van Owen: Women. 80 percent female, Greenpeace.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: That's noble.
Nick Van Owen: Yeah well, noble was last year. This year I'm getting paid. Hammond's check cleared, or I wouldn't be going on this wild goose chase...
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Uh, where your going is the only place in the world where the geese chase *you*!

Dr. Ian Malcolm: It's fine if you wanna put your name on something but STOP putting it on other people's headstones.

[searching the island for Sarah]
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Sarah! Sarah!
Nick Van Owen: Sarah Harding!
Dr. Ian Malcolm: How many Sarahs you think are on this island? Sarah!

Dr. Ian Malcolm: Oh, yeah. Oooh, ahhh, that's how it always starts. Then later there's running and um, screaming.

[after re-capturing the baby T-Rex in San Diego]
Sarah Harding: How do we find the adult?
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Just follow the screams.

Roland Tembo: Rex just fed, so he won't be hunting for a while.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Just fed? I assume you're talking about Eddie? You might show a little more respect, the man saved our lives by giving his.
Roland Tembo: Then his troubles are over. My point is, predators don't hunt when they're not hungry.
Nick Van Owen: No, only humans do.
Roland Tembo: Oh, you're breaking our hearts! Saddle up, let's get this moveable feast under way!

Sarah Harding: I love you. I just don't... need you right now.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: I'll tell you what you NEED, a good anti-psychotic!
Sarah Harding: I'll be back in five or six days.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: No, you'll be back in five or six PIECES!

John Hammond: Don't worry, I'm not making the same mistakes again.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: No, you're making all new ones.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: Hang on, this is gonna be bad.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: Mommy's very angry.

Sarah Harding: You know, I have made a career out of waiting for you.
Kelly Malcolm: You know, Sarah does have a pretty good p...
Dr. Ian Malcolm: It's so important to your future that you not finish that sentence.

[Eddie finds Ian, Sarah, and Nick trapped in a trailer hanging over a cliff]
Eddie Carr: What do you need?
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Rope!
Eddie Carr: OK, rope! Anything else?
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Yeah, three double cheeseburgers with everything!
Nick Van Owen: No onions on mine!
Sarah Harding: And an apple turnover!

Dr. Ian Malcolm: [to Hammond] So you went from capitalist to naturalist in just 4 years. That's something.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: You sent my girlfriend to this island alone?
John Hammond: Sent is hardly the word. She couldn't be restrained.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: [to Kelly] Hey, you want some good parental advice? Don't listen to me.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: I'll be right back. I give you my word.
Kelly Malcolm: [pounds her fists on the railing] But you *never* keep your word!

Sarah Harding: [referring to the T-Rexes] This isn't hunting, Ian, it's searching. They're looking for their infant.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Let's not disappoint them.

Sarah Harding: What's everybody looking at?
Dr. Ian Malcolm: [spots the T-Rex transfer ship speeding towards the harbor]
Dr. Ian Malcolm: We should've stayed in the damn car.

[to Ludlow as the T-Rex terrorizes San Diego]
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Now you're John Hammond.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: The school cut you from the team?

Kelly Malcolm: Boy she's mad at you.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: I feel sorry for that guy Enrique.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: OK, so there is another island of dinosaurs, no fences this time and you wanna send people in, very few people, on the ground? Right?

Dr. Ian Malcolm: Why don't people listen to me? I use plain and simple English, I don't have any accent that I'm aware of...
Sarah Harding: Oh, shut up.

Kelly Malcolm: She doesn't even have Sega. She's such a troglodyte.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Cruel, but good word use.

[why Sarah didn't tell Ian about going to the island]
Sarah Harding: Because I knew you would have stopped me from coming.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: I would have tied you to the bed.
Sarah Harding: I figured out how the dinosaurs survived without lysine.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: I don't care!

[about the high hide]
Eddie Carr: It keeps you out of harm's way, away from the animals.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Actually, it would put them at very convenient biting height.

[to his daughter, Kelly]
Dr. Ian Malcolm: The queen, the goddess, my inspiration.

[while luring the T-rex to follow them to the docks]
Sarah Harding: Ian, slow down.
[Ian looks behind him and sees the T-rex coming]
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Uh... I don't think so.

[When Sara's camera runs out of film and the baby dinosaur roars]
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Oh, they get very angry when you run out of film.

Sarah Harding: [about the baby T-Rex] He's too drugged.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: He's never gonna know we have it if the thing doesn't make some kind of sound.
Sarah Harding: Come on. Wake up. Come on. Come on. Wake up.
[baby T-rex growls. Adult T-Rex sniffs the air then roars in their direction]
Sarah Harding: He knows.

[after taking the baby T-Rex and putting it in the car]
InGen Guard: Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing?
Dr. Ian Malcolm: I'm taking the kid. If you really want to stop us, shoot us.

Kelly Malcolm: Dad, are you mad?
Dr. Ian Malcolm: No, I'm not mad - I'm furious!
[Looks around the messy trailer]
Dr. Ian Malcolm: What is this? This looks like your room.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: Eddie, is there any reason to think that the radio in the trailer might work?
Eddie Carr: If you feel at all qualified, try turning the switch to "on."

Dr. Ian Malcolm: What are you talking about? Five years of work and a hundred miles of electrified fence couldn't prepare the other island. And you think that, what? A couple dozen Marlboro men were going to make a difference here?

Eddie Carr: Ow Ow Ow! Don't do that! You gotta baby it a little bit.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: I'll love it when it works.
Eddie Carr: It'll work when you love it. Let me do it...

Ian Malcolm: Hey, when the adult sees us once again with his baby, uh, isn't he gonna be like, "You"? You know, there may be some, uh, angry recognition.
Sarah Harding: Who knows? He may be just happy to see us.

Sarah Harding: Don't light that! Dinosaurs pick up scents from miles away.We're here to observe and document, not interact.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Which is a scientific impossibility.Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. What you study, you change.
Sarah Harding: I'll risk it. I'm sick of scratching around in rock and bone... making assumptions about the nurturing habits of animals... that have been dead for 65 million years.Then you fill my head with stories. Of course I came down here.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Stories of mutilation and death. Were you paying attention?
Sarah Harding: Please! Don't treat me like a grad student.I've worked around predators since I was 20.Lions, jackals, hyenas, you.

Sarah Harding: Don't light that! Dinosaurs pick up scents from miles away. We're here to observe and document, not interact.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Which is a scientific impossibility.Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. What you study, you change.
Sarah Harding: I'll risk it. I'm sick of scratching around in rock and bone... making assumptions about the nurturing habits of animals... that have been dead for 65 million years. Then you fill my head with stories. Of course I came down here.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Stories of mutilation and death. Were you paying attention?
Sarah Harding: Please! Don't treat me like a grad student. I've worked around predators since I was 20. Lions, jackals, hyenas, you.

Nick Van Owen: [about the stegosauruses] They're just protecting their baby.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: [about Sarah] So am I.


Jurassic Park (1993)
Dr. Ian Malcolm: [about Ellie] She's, uh... tenacious.
Dr. Alan Grant: You have no idea.

John Hammond: [as they gather around a baby dinosaur hatching from its egg] I've been present for the birth of every little creature on this island.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Surely not the ones that are bred in the wild?
Henry Wu: Actually they can't breed in the wild. Population control is one of our security precautions. There's no unauthorized breeding in Jurassic Park.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: How do you know they can't breed?
Henry Wu: Well, because all the animals in Jurassic Park are female. We've engineered them that way.
[they take the baby dinosaur out of its egg. A robot arm picks up the shell out of Grant's hand and puts it back down]
Dr. Ian Malcolm: But again, how do you know they're all female? Does somebody go out into the park and pull up the dinosaurs' skirts?
Henry Wu: We control their chromosomes. It's really not that difficult. All vertebrate embryos are inherently female anyway, they just require an extra hormone given at the right developmental stage to make them male. We simply deny them that.
Dr. Ellie Sattler: Deny them that?
Dr. Ian Malcolm: John, the kind of control you're attempting simply is... it's not possible. If there is one thing the history of evolution has taught us it's that life will not be contained. Life breaks free, it expands to new territories and crashes through barriers, painfully, maybe even dangerously, but, uh... well, there it is.
John Hammond: [sardonically] There it is.
Henry Wu: You're implying that a group composed entirely of female animals will... breed?
Dr. Ian Malcolm: No. I'm, I'm simply saying that life, uh... finds a way.

Dr. Alan Grant: [watching Gennaro jump out of the tour car and sprint to the porta-potty at the sight of the T-Rex] Well, where does he think he's going?
Dr. Ian Malcolm: When you gotta go, you gotta go.

Dr. Ellie Sattler: So, what are you thinking?
Dr. Alan Grant: We're out of a job.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Don't you mean extinct?

John Hammond: All major theme parks have delays. When they opened Disneyland in 1956, nothing worked!
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Yeah, but, John, if The Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: [looking at a huge mound of dinosaur faeces] That is one big pile of shit.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: [Dr. Ellie Sattler has dug through a pile of dino-droppings with her hands] You will remember to wash your hands before you eat anything?

Dr. Ian Malcolm: Anybody hear that? It's a, um... It's an impact tremor, that's what it is... I'm fairly alarmed here.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: [while being chased by the T-Rex] Must go faster.

[Ellie and Muldoon find Malcolm injured at the scene of the T-Rex attack]
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Remind me to thank John for a lovely weekend.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs.
Dr. Ellie Sattler: Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits the earth.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: God help us, we're in the hands of engineers.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: [as they escape the T-Rex chasing after them in the Jeep] You think they'll have that on the tour?

Dr. Ian Malcolm: [watching the T-Rex breaking through the deactivated electric fence] Boy, do I hate being right all the time!

Dr. Ian Malcolm: There. Look at this. See? See? I'm right again. Nobody could've predicted that Dr. Grant would suddenly, suddenly jump out of a moving vehicle.
Dr. Ellie Sattler: Alan? Alan!
[Jumps out of the vehicle]
Dr. Ian Malcolm: There's, another example.
[laughs to himself]
Dr. Ian Malcolm: See, here I'm now sitting by myself, uh, er, talking to myself. That's, that's chaos theory.

Dr. Ellie Sattler: [after finding Malcolm with a broken leg] Should we chance moving him?
Dr. Ian Malcolm: [the Tyrannosaur roars nearby] Please, chance it.

Muldoon: What about the lysine contingency? We could put that into effect!
Dr. Ellie Sattler: What's that?
John Hammond: That is absolutely out of the question.
Ray Arnold: The lysine contingency is intended to prevent the spread of the animals in case they ever get off the island. Dr. Wu inserted a gene that makes a single faulty enzyme in protein metabolism. The animals can't manufacture the amino acid lysine. Unless they're continually supplied with lysine by us, they'll slip into a coma and die.
Dr. Ellie Sattler: How could we cut off the lysine?
Ray Arnold: No real trick to it. Just stop running the program, leaving them unattended.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: How long before they become comatose?
Ray Arnold: It would be totally painless - they'd just slip into unconsciousness and die.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: How long until they slip into unconsciousness?
Ray Arnold: Hmm... seven days, more or less.
Dr. Ellie Sattler: Seven days? Seven days? Oh, that's great. Clever!
Dr. Ian Malcolm: That'll be a first - man and dinosaur all die together. John's plan.
John Hammond: People. Are. Dying! Mr. Arnold, will you please shut down the system.
Ray Arnold: OK, but... you asked for it. Hold on to your butts!
[switches the mainframe off]

Dr. Alan Grant: [All of a sudden their electric car stops] What did I touch?
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Uh, you didn't touch anything. We stopped.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: [seeing the dinosaurs for the first time] You did it. You crazy son of a bitch, you did it.

Dr. Alan Grant: You got any kids?
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Me? Oh, hell yeah, three. I love kids. Anything at all can and does happen. Same with wives, for that matter.
Dr. Alan Grant: You're married?
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Occaissionally. Yeah, I'm always on the lookout for a future ex-Mrs. Malcolm.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: [as they pass through the gigantic park gates] What have they got in there, King Kong?

Dr. Ian Malcolm: [to the security camera in the tour car, after yet again a dinosaur has failed to appear] Ah, now eventually you do plan to have dinosaurs on your, on your dinosaur tour, right? Hello?
[he taps the camera lens and breathes on it]
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Hello? Yes?
John Hammond: [watching him on a monitor in the control room] I really hate that man.

Dr. Alan Grant: [Dr. Grant gets back in the car after checking with the other car for a working radio] Their radio is out too. Gennarro said to stay put.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: The kids OK?
Dr. Alan Grant: I didn't ask. Why wouldn't they be?
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Kids get scared.
Dr. Alan Grant: What's to be scared about? It's just a little hiccup in the power...
Dr. Ian Malcolm: I didn't say I was scared.
Dr. Alan Grant: I didn't say you were scared.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: I know.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: Gee, the lack of humility before nature that's being displayed here, uh... staggers me.
Donald Gennaro: Well thank you, Dr. Malcolm, but I think things are a little bit different then you and I had feared...
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Yeah, I know. They're a lot worse.
Donald Gennaro: Now, wait a second now, we haven't even seen the park...
John Hammond: No, no, Donald, Donald, Donald... let him talk. There's no reason... I want to hear every viewpoint, I really do.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Don't you see the danger, John, inherent in what you're doing here? Genetic power is the most awesome force the planet's ever seen, but you wield it like a kid that's found his dad's gun.
Donald Gennaro: It's hardly appropriate to start hurling generalizations...
Dr. Ian Malcolm: If I may... Um, I'll tell you the problem with the scientific power that you're using here, it didn't require any discipline to attain it. You read what others had done and you took the next step. You didn't earn the knowledge for yourselves, so you don't take any responsibility for it. You stood on the shoulders of geniuses to accomplish something as fast as you could, and before you even knew what you had, you patented it, and packaged it, and slapped it on a plastic lunchbox, and now
[bangs on the table]
Dr. Ian Malcolm: you're selling it, you wanna sell it. Well...
John Hammond: I don't think you're giving us our due credit. Our scientists have done things which nobody's ever done before...
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Yeah, yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn't stop to think if they should.
John Hammond: Condors. Condors are on the verge of extinction...
Dr. Ian Malcolm: [shaking his head] No...
John Hammond: If I was to create a flock of condors on this island, you wouldn't have anything to say.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: No, hold on. This isn't some species that was obliterated by deforestation, or the building of a dam. Dinosaurs had their shot, and nature selected them for extinction.
John Hammond: I simply don't understand this Luddite attitude, especially from a scientist. I mean, how can we stand in the light of discovery, and not act?
Dr. Ian Malcolm: What's so great about discovery? It's a violent, penetrative act that scars what it explores. What you call discovery, I call the rape of the natural world.
Dr. Ellie Sattler: Well, the question is, how can you know anything about an extinct ecosystem? And therefore, how could you ever assume that you can control it? I mean, you have plants in this building that are poisonous, you picked them because they look good, but these are aggressive living things that have no idea what century they're in, and they'll defend themselves, violently if necessary.
John Hammond: Dr. Grant, if there's one person here who could appreciate what I'm trying to do...
Dr. Alan Grant: The world has just changed so radically, and we're all running to catch up. I don't want to jump to any conclusions, but look... Dinosaurs and man, two species separated by 65 million years of evolution have just been suddenly thrown back into the mix together. How can we possibly have the slightest idea what to expect?
John Hammond: [laughing] I don't believe it. I don't believe it! You're meant to come down here and defend me against these characters, and the only one I've got on my side is the blood-sucking lawyer!
Donald Gennaro: Thank you.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: Dr. Sattler, Dr. Grant, you've heard of chaos theory?
Dr. Ellie Sattler: No.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: No? Non-linear equations? Strange attractions? Dr. Sattler, I refuse to believe that you aren't familiar with the concept of attraction.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: Come on, we gotta get out of here! Now! Now! Right now! Let's go. The kids?
[the T. Rex emerges from the trees and roars and begins chasing the Jeep]
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Must go faster!
[T. Rex catching up to the Jeep]
Dr. Ellie Sattler: Shit! Shit!
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Here it comes! Stand on it! Fifth gear! Fifth gear!
Muldoon: [after the T. Rex gets close, Malcolm jolts back into the gear shift] Get off the stick. Bloody move!
Dr. Ellie Sattler: [Seeing a huge tree branch across the road] Look out!
Muldoon: Down!

Dr. Ian Malcolm: [Malcolm waves a flare, to get the T-Rex's attention] Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Dr. Alan Grant: Ian, freeze!
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Get the kids!
[the T-rex sees the flare, roars at Malcolm, and runs after him]
Dr. Alan Grant: Get rid of the flare!
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Get the kids!
Dr. Alan Grant: Get rid of the flare!

Dr. Ian Malcolm: [after the T-Rex failed to appear for the tour group] You see a Tyrannosaur doesn't follow a set pattern or park schedules, the essence of chaos.

Ray Arnold: Um... It's OK.
[looking at one of the computers in the control room]
Ray Arnold: Look, see that. It's on. It worked.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: What... what do you mean, it worked? Everything's still off.
Ray Arnold: Well, maybe the shutdown tripped the circuit breakers. All we have to do is turn them back on. Reboot a few systems in here. Telephones. Security doors, and a half dozen others but it worked. The system's ready.
Muldoon: Where are the breakers?
Ray Arnold: Maintenance shed. At the other end of the compound. Three minutes, and I can have power back on in the entire park.
John Hammond: Well, just to be safe I want everyone in the emergency bunker, until Mr Arnold returns, and the whole system's up and running again.

Dr. Ellie Sattler: [after entering the maintenance shed] Mr Arnold? Mr Arnold? John, I'm in.
John Hammond: [over Ellie's radio] Great. Now, ahead of you, is a metal staircase. Go down it.
Dr. Ellie Sattler: OK, I'm going down.
John Hammond: After 20 or 30 feet, you come to a T-junction. Take a left.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Just have her follow these cables...
John Hammond: I understand how to read a schematic.

Dr. Ellie Sattler: [Ellie walks into a wall of the maintenance shed] Dead end.
John Hammond: Uh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Yes, there should have been a right turn back there somewhere...
Dr. Ian Malcolm: [Malcolm grabs the radio off of Hammond] Look above you. There should be a large power cable, and pipes in the same direction. Follow that.
Dr. Ellie Sattler: OK, I'm following the piping.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: God creates dinosaur. God destroys dinosaur. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaur.
Dr. Ellie Sattler: Dinosaur eats man. Woman inherits the earth.