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: [reading Lester's job description
] "My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble Hell." Well, you have absolutely no interest in saving yourself. Lester Burnham
: Brad, for 14 years I've been a whore for the advertising industry. The only way I could save myself now is if I start firebombing.
: Management wants you gone by the end of the day. Lester Burnham
: Well, just what sort of severance package is management prepared to offer me? Considering the information I have about our Editorial Director buying pussy with company money - which, I think, would interest the I.R.S., since it technically constitutes fraud; and I'm sure that some of our advertisers and rival publications might like to know about it as well. Not to mention
] Lester Burnham
: Craig's wife! Brad Dupree
: [crosses his arms
] What do you want? Lester Burnham
: One year's salary, with benefits. Brad Dupree
: That's not going to happen. Lester Burnham
: Well, what do you say I throw in a little sexual harassment charge, to boot? Brad Dupree
: [chuckles in disbelief
] Against who? Lester Burnham
: [he chuckles right back
] Against YOU. Can you prove that you didn't offer to save my job if I let you blow me? Brad Dupree
: Man, you are one twisted fuck. Lester Burnham
: Nope; I'm just an ordinary guy with nothing to lose.
: Got a minute? Lester Burnham
: [Phony, overly polite voice
] For you, Brad, I've got five!
: ...so I'm sure you can understand the need to cut corners around here. Lester Burnham
: Sure. Times are tight, and you need to free up cash. Gotta spend money to make money. Brad Dupree
: Exactly. Lester Burnham
: Like when our editorial director used the company MasterCard to pay for a hooker, and then she used the card number to stay at the St. Regis for, what was it, three months? Brad Dupree
: That's unsubstantiated gossip. Lester Burnham
: That's fifty thousand dollars. That's somebody's salary. Somebody who's probably gonna get fired because Craig has to pay women to fuck him! Brad Dupree
: Jesus. Calm down. Nobody's getting fired yet. That's why we're having everyone write a job description, mapping out in detail how they contribute. That way, management can assess who's valuable and who's... Lester Burnham
: Expendable. Brad Dupree
: It's just business.