Angela Hayes
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Quotes for
Angela Hayes (Character)
from American Beauty (1999)

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American Beauty (1999)
Angela Hayes: This is my first time.

Angela Hayes: Yeah? Well, at least I'm not ugly!
Ricky Fitts: Yes, you are. And you're boring, and you're totally ordinary, and you know it.

Angela Hayes: If people I don't even know look at me and want to fuck me, it means I really have a shot at being a model.

Angela Hayes: It's that psycho next door. Jane, what if he worships you? What if he's got a shrine with pictures of you surrounded by dead people's heads and stuff?

Ricky Fitts: I was filming this dead bird.
Angela Hayes: Why?
Ricky Fitts: Because it's beautiful.

Lester Burnham: How's Jane?
Angela Hayes: What do you mean?
Lester Burnham: I mean, how's her life? Is she happy? Is she miserable? I'd really like to know, and she'd die before she'd ever tell me about it.
Angela Hayes: She's... she's really happy. She thinks she's in love.
Lester Burnham: Good for her.
Angela Hayes: How are you?
Lester Burnham: God, it's been a long time since anybody asked me that... I'm great.
Angela Hayes: I've gotta go to the bathroom.
Lester Burnham: I'm great.

[after meeting Ricky Fitts for the first time]
Angela Hayes: What a freak! And why does he dress like a bible salesman?
Jane Burnham: He's just so confident, it can't be real.
Angela Hayes: I don't believe him. I mean, he didn't even like, look at me once!

Angela Hayes: I don't think that there's anything worse than being ordinary.

Angela Hayes: So, you're fucking psycho-boy on a regular basis now? Tell me, has he got a big dick?
Jane Burnham: It's not like that.
Angela Hayes: What, hasn't he got one?
Jane Burnham: I'm not going to talk about his dick with you, OK?

Angela Hayes: I'm serious. He just pulled down his pants and yanked it out. You know, like, "Say hello to Mr. Happy."
Playground Girl #1: Gross.
Angela Hayes: It wasn't gross. It was kinda cool.
Playground Girl #1: So did you do it with him?
Angela Hayes: Of course I did. He's like a really well known photographer. He shoots for "Elle" on like a regular basis. It would have been so majorly stupid of me to turn him down.
Playground Girl #2: You are a total prostitute.
Angela Hayes: Hey! That's how things really are. You just don't know 'cause you're this pampered little suburban chick.
Playground Girl #2: So are you. You've only been in "Seventeen" once and you looked fat! So stop acting like you're goddamn Christy Turlington!
Angela Hayes: Cunt! I am so sick of people taking their insecurities out on me.

Jane Burnham: I don't think we can be friends anymore.
Angela Hayes: You're way too uptight about sex.
Jane Burnham: Just don't fuck my dad, all right? Please?
Angela Hayes: Why not?

Angela Hayes: Jane, he's a freak!
Jane Burnham: Then so am I! And we'll always be freaks and we'll never be like other people and you'll never be a freak because you're just too... perfect!

Angela Hayes: You total slut, you have a crush on him. You're defending him, you love him, you wanna have, like, ten thousand of his babies.

Jane Burnham: Could he be any more pathetic?
Angela Hayes: I think it's sweet. And I think he and your mother have not had sex in a long time.

Angela Hayes: I was hoping you'd give me a bath. I'm very, very dirty.

Angela Hayes: Everything that's meant to happen does.

[Lester eavesdrops on Jane and Angela through Jane's bedroom door]
Jane Burnham: Sorry about my dad.
Angela Hayes: Don't be. I think it's funny.
Jane Burnham: Yeah, to you, he's just another guy who wants to jump your bones. But to me, he's just... too embarrassing to live.
Angela Hayes: Your mom's the one who's embarrassing. What a phony. But, your dad's actually kind of cute.
Jane Burnham: Shut up.
Angela Hayes: He is. If he just worked out a little, he'd be hot.
Jane Burnham: Shut up!
Angela Hayes: Oh, come on. Like you've never sneaked a peek at him in his underwear? I bet he's got a big dick.
Jane Burnham: You are so grossing me out right now.
Angela Hayes: If he built up his chest and arms, I would totally fuck him.
Jane Burnham: [covers her ears and sings 'la la la' over and over again]
Angela Hayes: I would! I would suck your dad's big fat dick, and then I'd fuck him until his eyes rolled back in his head!

Angela Hayes: Go fuck yourself, psycho!

Angela Hayes: Who are you looking for?
Jane Burnham: My parents are coming tonight. They're trying to, you know, take an active interest in me.
Angela Hayes: Gross. I hate it when my mom does that.