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: If it's human waste, save some for me.
: [voiceover while interviewing Rob Lowe
] Isn't it amazing, just 6 months ago, when I was talking to Arlene Shayhee, I was so bored. Here I am talking to Brat-packer Rob Lowe... Rob Lowe
: I... me... me... I... I... me... I... Jiminy Glick
] ... and I'm equally bored. What have I learned, I wonder. Ah yes, celebrities can be dull.
: I'm one of those guys that needs it regular, ya know? Sometimes Dixie's awake for it, most of the time she's not. Ben DiCarlo
: Ambien and some KY, right? Jiminy Glick
: HAH! Ambien and KY! You know, for the longest time I was taking the KY orally! It's not necessary!
: My, that's a nice beaver. Dixie Glick
: Why, thank you. Jiminy Glick
: [Jiminy points at a stuffed beaver
] No. Dixie Glick
: Oh. Jiminy Glick
: Although yours is nicely... shaped.
: Oprah Winfrey, how do you do what you do so consistently? Whoopi Goldberg
: I stomp on everyone I can. Jiminy Glick
: And you're despised by so many. But not by me. Whoopi Goldberg
: I live for that. And remember to spell my name right. O-P-E-R-A.
: And you're Canadian, I hear. What's that about? Kiefer Sutherland
: Well this is a fantastic country. Uhm. What's that about? Jiminy Glick
: That was my question dear. Kiefer Sutherland
: I know. I'm trying to... I've never actually had to... Jiminy Glick
: Eventually the show will start. Don't you wanna just finally answer it? Kiefer Sutherland
: Yeah, what's that about? For me it's been a fantastic... it's where I come from, and it's um... Jiminy Glick
: What? Kiefer Sutherland
: Canada! Jiminy Glick
: You're Canadian? I didn't know that. Kiefer Sutherland
: Yes, it's true.
: [pointing at Toronto's C.N. Tower
] That's a phallic-looking thing! Remind you of anybody? Dixie Glick
: Before you go, do a little Jiminy Cricket for us. Chevy Chase
: Boy, I haven't been asked to do that in a long time. Are you ready? Jiminy Glick
: Well, after we see it, we'll know why.
: You know, many people felt that being from the South, you've gotta lose it. The wonderful Ava Gardner had a Southern accent, and she was told to lose it, too. And she was always drinking, even then. But she was a man's woman, and I think that she broke Frank Sinatra's heart and I don't think he ever recovered. I think Mia Farrow was a bandage, and I think that Juliet Prowse was a fake, and I think that Barbara Sinatra could be mean to the people that she didn't like and nice to the people that she liked. What is your opinion of Barbara Sinatra?