Cassandra Wong
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Quotes for
Cassandra Wong (Character)
from Wayne's World (1992)

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Wayne's World (1992)
Wayne Campbell: Am I supposed to be a man? Am I supposed to say, "It's OK, I don't mind, I don't mind"? Well, I mind! I mind big time! And you know what the worst part is? I NEVER LEARNED TO READ.
Cassandra: Is that true?
Wayne Campbell: Yes, everything except the reading part.

[last lines]
Cassandra: I love you, Wayne.
Wayne Campbell: I love you, Cassandra.
Dreamwoman: I love you, Garth.
Garth Algar: I love you, dreamwoman.
Noah Vanderhoff: You know, ever since I did your show, kids are looking at me in a whole new way.
Terry: I love you, man.
Russel: And I love you. Because I've learned that Platonic love *can* exist between two grown men.
Benjamin: And I've learned something, too. I've learned that a flawless profile, a perfect body, the right clothes, and a great car can get you far in America - almost to the top - but it can't get you everything.
Wayne Campbell: Isn't it great that we're all better people?
[beat]
Wayne Campbell, Garth Algar: FISHED IN!

Wayne Campbell: [after Ben orders Chinese food while speaking Cantonese] This guy is good.
Benjamin: I picked up a little Cantonese while I was in the Orient. You know, you sound a lot like you're from Kowloon Bay as opposed to Hong Kong.
Cassandra: I was born in Kowloon Bay!
Benjamin: There you have it!
Wayne Campbell: This guy is really good.

Cassandra: I don't believe I've ever had French champagne before...
Benjamin Kane: Oh, actually all champagne is French; it's named after the region. Otherwise it's sparkling white wine. Americans of course don't recognize the convention, so it becomes that thing of calling all of their sparkling white "champagne", even though by definition they're not.
Wayne Campbell: Ah yes, it's a lot like "Star Trek: The Next Generation". In many ways it's superior but will never be as recognized as the original.

Cassandra: Yeah, and if a frog had wings it wouldn't bump its ass when it hopped.
Wayne Campbell: Interesting. Where did you learn English?
Cassandra: College... and the Police Academy movies.

Wayne Campbell: Tell me, when the first show is over, will you still love me when I'm an incredibly humungoid giant star?
Cassandra: Yeah.
Wayne Campbell: Will you still love me when I'm in my hanging-out-with-Ravi-Shankar phase?
Cassandra: Yeah.
Wayne Campbell: Will you still love me when I'm in my carbohydrate, sequined-jumpsuit, young-girls-in-white-cotton-panties, waking-up-in-a-pool-of-your-own-vomit, bloated-purple-dead-on-a-toilet phase?
Cassandra: Yeah.
Wayne Campbell: Okay, party. Bonus.


Wayne's World 2 (1993)
Cassandra: Wait, let me show you what I got at a garage sale.
Wayne: What'cha got?
Cassandra: Isn't that great? You've heard it?
Wayne: Exqueese me? Have I seen this one before? "Frampton Comes Alive"? Everybody in the world has Frampton Comes Alive. If you lived in the suburbs you were issued it. It came in the mail with samples of "Tide".
Cassandra: Look at this old one. Gerry and the Pacemakers.
Wayne: Wow. That is old. You know, I bet those guys actually have pacemakers by now.

[Wayne is about to speak, but he hesitates many times]
Cassandra: Wayne, you look like you've got something to say.

Cassandra: You know, I haven't seen Garth in a while. What's he up to?
Wayne: Oh, Garth's doing his laundry.
Cassandra: Too bad he doesn't have a girlfriend to do HIS laundry.
Wayne: Oh yeah; thanks for doing my laundry. Hey Cassandra, how do you get my clothes so white and fresh-smelling?
Cassandra: It's an age-old Cantonese family method that very few people know about.
Wayne: Ahh... Wait a minute... Calgon? Ancient Chinese secret, huh?

Bobby Cahn: [while watching Wayne imitating a scene from The Leprechaun] Why do you hang around with these guys?
Cassandra: Because they're fun. If I wanted a guy that was all drag and ambition I could've stayed in Hong Kong. Back there guys like that are 12 for 10 cents.
Bobby Cahn: You mean a dime a dozen.
Cassandra: Maybe where you shop.