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: How dare you judge me? I mean what are you? You think you're some kind of, like, angel here? No, you're just this penny-stealing... wanna-be criminal... man. Peter Gibbons
: Yeah, well, that may be. But at least I never slept with Lumbergh.
: So, where do you work, Peter? Peter Gibbons
: Initech. Joanna
: In... yeah, what do you do there? Peter Gibbons
: I sit in a cubicle and I update bank software for the 2000 switch. Joanna
: What's that? Peter Gibbons
: Well see, they wrote all this bank software, and, uh, to save space, they used two digits for the date instead of four. So, like, 98 instead of 1998? Uh, so I go through these thousands of lines of code and, uh... it doesn't really matter. I uh, I don't like my job, and, uh, I don't think I'm gonna go anymore. Joanna
: You're just not gonna go? Peter Gibbons
: Yeah. Joanna
: Won't you get fired? Peter Gibbons
: I don't know, but I really don't like it, and, uh, I'm not gonna go. Joanna
: So you're gonna quit? Peter Gibbons
: Nuh-uh. Not really. Uh... I'm just gonna stop going. Joanna
: When did you decide all that? Peter Gibbons
: About an hour ago. Joanna
: Oh, really? About an hour ago... so you're gonna get another job? Peter Gibbons
: I don't think I'd like another job. Joanna
: Well, what are you going to do about money and bills and... Peter Gibbons
: You know, I've never really liked paying bills. I don't think I'm gonna do that, either. Joanna
: Well, so what do you wanna do? Peter Gibbons
: I wanna take you out to dinner, and then I wanna go back to my apartment and watch 'Kung Fu'. Do you ever watch 'Kung Fu'? Joanna
: I love 'Kung Fu'. Peter Gibbons
: Channel 39. Joanna
: Totally. Peter Gibbons
: You should come over and watch 'Kung Fu' tonight. Joanna
: Ok. Can we order lunch first?
[Peter nods again
: I dunno, it just seems wrong. Peter Gibbons
: It's NOT wrong. INITECH is wrong. INITECH is an evil corporation, all right? Chochkies is wrong. Doesn't it bother you that you have to get up in the morning and you have to put on a bunch of pieces of flair? Joanna
: Yeah, but I'm not about to go in and start taking money from the register. Peter Gibbons
: Well, maybe you should. You know, the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear. Joanna
: Um, the 7-Eleven, right? You take a penny from the tray. Joanna
: From the crippled children? Peter Gibbons
: No, that's the jar. I'm talking about the tray, the pennies for everybody.
: Why don't you just call me when you grow up! Oh, wait, you know what, that's probably never gonna happen, so just don't call me, OK?
[Joanna starts to close car door
] Peter Gibbons
: Say hello to Lumbergh for me!
: You know what, Stan, if you want me to wear 37 pieces of flair, like your pretty boy over there, Brian, why don't you just make the minimum 37 pieces of flair? Stan, Chotchkie's Manager
: Well, I thought I remembered you saying that you wanted to express yourself. Joanna
: Yeah. You know what, yeah, I do. I do want to express myself, okay. And I don't need 37 pieces of flair to do it.
[flips off Stan
: [Explaining the plan
] Alright so when the sub routine compounds the interest is uses all these extra decimal places that just get rounded off. So we simplified the whole thing, we rounded them all down, drop the remainder into an account we opened. Joanna
] So you're stealing? Peter Gibbons
: Ah no, you don't understand. It's very complicated. It's uh it's aggregate, so I'm talking about fractions of a penny here. And over time they add up to a lot. Joanna
: Oh okay. So you're gonna be making a lot of money, right? Peter Gibbons
: Yeah. Joanna
: Right. It's not yours? Peter Gibbons
: Well it becomes ours. Joanna
: How is that not stealing? Peter Gibbons
] I don't think I'm explaining this very well. Joanna
: Okay. Peter Gibbons
: Um... the 7-11. You take a penny from the tray, right? Joanna
: From the cripple children? Peter Gibbons
: No that's the jar. I'm talking about the tray. You know the pennies that are for everybody? Joanna
: Oh for everybody. Okay. Peter Gibbons
: Well those are whole pennies, right? I'm just talking about fractions of a penny here. But we do it from a much bigger tray and we do it a couple a million times.
: Yeah, I know him. I know him! He's my boss! He's my unholy, disgusting pig of a boss! Joanna
: He's not THAT disgusting. Peter Gibbons
: He represents all that is soulless and wrong! And you slept with him!
Stan, Chotchkie's Manager
: We need to talk about your flair. Joanna
: Really? I... I have fifteen pieces on. I, also... Stan, Chotchkie's Manager
: Well, okay. Fifteen is the minimum, okay? Joanna
: Okay. Stan, Chotchkie's Manager
: Now, you know it's up to you whether or not you want to just do the bare minimum. Or... well, like Brian, for example, has thirty seven pieces of flair, okay. And a terrific smile. Joanna
: Okay. So you... you want me to wear more? Stan, Chotchkie's Manager
: Look. Joanna. Joanna
: Yeah. Stan, Chotchkie's Manager
: People can get a cheeseburger anywhere, okay? They come to Chotchkie's for the atmosphere and the attitude. Okay? That's what the flair's about. It's about fun. Joanna
: Yeah. Okay. So more then, yeah? Stan, Chotchkie's Manager
: Look, we want you to express yourself, okay? Now if you feel that the bare minimum is enough, then okay. But some people choose to wear more and we encourage that, okay? You do want to express yourself, don't you? Joanna
: Yeah, yeah. Stan, Chotchkie's Manager
: Okay. Great. Great. That's all I ask.
Brian, Chotchkie's Waiter
: Get a room, you two. Joanna
: I hate that guy.