Biff Tannen
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Quotes for
Biff Tannen (Character)
from Back to the Future (1985)

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Back to the Future Part II (1989)
Biff Tannen: That's about as funny as a screen door on a battleship.
Marty McFly: [under his breath] It's "screen door on a submarine," you dork.

Old Biff: [watching the chase unfold in 2015] There's something very familiar about all this.

Marty McFly: What about the police, Biff? They're gonna match up the bullet with that gun.
Biff Tannen: Kid, I own the police! Besides, they couldn't match up the bullet that killed your old man.
Marty McFly: You son of a...
[Biff cocks the gun]
Biff Tannen: I suppose it's poetic justice - two McFlys with the same gun.

[Biff has just received his auto repair bill after crashing it into a manure truck]
Biff Tannen: 300 bucks? 300 bucks for a couple of dents? Now, hey, that's bullshit, Terry.
Terry: No, Biff, it was *horseshit*! The whole car was full of it. I had to pay old man Jones 80 bucks to haul it away!
Biff Tannen: Old Man Jones! Probably re-sold it too. Now, I oughtta get something for *that*!
Terry: You want to get something for it! We'll go inside, you can call Old Man Jones! If he wants to give you a refund, that's fine!

[after Marty pushes Griff]
Griff Tannen: Well! Since when did you become the physical type?

Biff Tannen: Where is he?
CPR Kid: Who?
Biff Tannen: Calvin Klein.
CPR Kid: Who?
Biff Tannen: The guy with the hat. Where is he?
CPR Kid: Oh he went that way. I think he took your wallet!
[to bystander]
CPR Kid: I think he took his wallet.

[Biff has chased Marty to the roof of a building]
Biff Tannen: Go ahead, kid! Jump! A suicide will be nice and neat.
Marty McFly: What if I don't?
[Biff points gun at Marty]
Biff Tannen: Lead poisoning.

Biff Tannen: Hey kid, say hello to your grandma for me.

Marty McFly: Tough break, kid. Must be rough bein' named after a complete butthead.
Marty McFly: What's that supposed to mean?
Marty McFly: [Biff knocks on Marty's head with his cane]
Marty McFly: Hello? Hello? Anybody home? Huh? Think, McFly! Think! Your old man, Mr. Loser?
Marty McFly: What?
Old Biff: That's right. Loser with a capital "L".
Marty McFly: Look, I-I happen to know George McFly is not a loser...
Old Biff: [interrupts him] I'm not talkin' about George McFly. I'm talkin' about his kid! Your old man, Marty McFly Sr.? The man who took his life and flushed it completely down the toilet.
Marty McFly: I did? I - I mean - I mean he did?

Marty McFly: The answer's no, Griff.
Griff Tannen: No?
Marty McFly: Yeah, what are you deaf and stupid? I said "NO!"
Griff Tannen: What's wrong, McFly. Chicken?

Marty McFly: Are you two related?
Biff Tannen: [knocking on Marty's head] Hello? Hello? Anybody home? What do you think? Griff just called me Grandpa for his health?

Biff Tannen: You're supposed to be in Switzerland, you little son of a bitch!
Marty McFly: My father?
Biff Tannen: Did you get kicked out of another boarding school? Damn it, Lorraine, do you know how much perfectly good dough I blow on this no-good kid of yours, huh? On all three of them!
Lorraine Baines: What the hell do you care? We can afford it! The least we can do with all that money is provide a better life for our children!

Grandma Tannen: Biff, Biff, where are you goin' now?
Biff Tannen: I told you, grandma, I'm goin' to the dance.
Grandma Tannen: When you comin' home?
Biff Tannen: I'll get home, when I get home.
Grandma Tannen: Don't forget to turn off the garage lights!

Old Biff: Buttheads...

Biff Tannen: Hold on one second. Let's get this straight. Marty is *your* kid, not mine. And all the money in the world wouldn't do jack shit for that lazy bum!
Lorraine Baines: Stop it, Biff, just stop it!
Biff Tannen: Look at him. He's a butthead just like his old man was.
Lorraine Baines: Don't you dare speak that way about George! You're not even half the man he was.
[Biff throws her on the floor]

Lorraine Baines: Biff, somebody already asked me to the dance.
Biff Tannen: Who? That bug George McFly?
Lorraine Baines: I'm going with Calvin Klein, okay?
Biff Tannen: Calvin Klein? No, it's not okay!

Young Biff: Manure! I hate manure!

Biff Tannen Museum Narrator: Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to the Biff Tannen Museum! Dedicated to Hill Valley's #1 Citizen. And America's greatest living folk hero. The one and only Biff Tannen. Of course we've all heard the legend, but who is the man? Inside you will learn how Biff Tannen became one of the richest and most powerful men in America. Learn the amazing history of the Tannen family, starting with his great-grandfather, Buford 'Mad Dog' Tannen, fastest gun in the West. See Biff's humble beginnings and how a trip to the race track on his 21st Birthday made him a millionaire overnight. Share in the excitement of a fabulous winning streak that earned him the nickname "The Luckiest Man on Earth." Learn how Biff parlayed that lucky winning streak into the vast empire called Biffco. Discover how, in 1979, Biff successfully lobbied to legalize gambling and turned Hill Valley's dilapidated courthouse into a beautiful casino-hotel!
Biff Tannen: I just wanna say one thing! God Bless America.
Biff Tannen Museum Narrator: Meet the women who shared in his passion as he searched for true love. And relive Biff's happiest moment as in 1973, he realized his life long romantic dream by marrying his high school sweetheart, Lorraine Baines McFly.
Biff Tannen: Third times a charm.
[French kisses Lorraine]
Marty McFly: NO!

Lorraine Baines: Dammit Biff, that's it. I'm leaving!
Biff Tannen: Oh, so go ahead. But think about this Lorraine, who's gonna pay for all your clothes, huh? And your jewelry, and your liquor? Who's gonna pay for your cosmetic surgery Lorraine?
Lorraine Baines: You were the one who wanted me to get these-these things! If you want 'em back, you can have em.
Biff Tannen: Look, Lorraine, you walk out that door and I won't only cut off you, I'll cut off your kids.
Lorraine Baines: You wouldn't!
Biff Tannen: Oh, wouldn't I? First, your daughter Linda, I'll cancel all her credit cards. She can settle her debts with the bank all by herself. Your idiot son Dave? I'll get his probation revoked. And as for Marty, well maybe you'd like to have all three of your kids behind bars just like your brother Joey. One big happy jailbird family.
Lorraine Baines: Alright Biff, you win. I'll stay.
Biff Tannen: [to Marty] As for you, I'll be back up here in an hour, so you better not be!

Biff Tannen: Hey butthead!

Griff Tannen: Gramps, what the hell am I paying you for?

[Biff is walking down the street when a basketball suddenly rolls his way. He picks it up claiming it for himself]
Basketball Kids: [rightful owners come up] Give us our ball back. Give us our ball back.
Biff Tannen: Is this your ball?
Basketball Kids: Yes!
Biff Tannen: Do you want it back?
Basketball Kids: Yes!
Biff Tannen: [throws the basketball onto an upper balcony of a brown house] Well, go get it! Ha-ha!

Marty McFly: Okay, everybody let's back up now, huh? Let's back up... let's everybody back up, give him a little bit of room, okay? A little bit of air. It's okay, I know CPR.
[to CPR Kid]
Marty McFly: I know CPR.
CPR Kid: What's CPR?
Biff Tannen: [coming to consciousness] YOU!
[Marty knocks out Biff]
Marty McFly: It's fine.
CPR Kid: Hey? Did you just take his wallet?
[to the crowd]
CPR Kid: He just took that guy's wallet!

S. S. Strickland: Is that liquor I smell Tannen?
Young Biff: Ahhh, I wouldn't know. I don't know what liquor smells like, cuz I'm too young to drink it.

Biff Tannen: [Calmly] Okay, have a seat.
[Marty just stands there]
Biff Tannen: [Angrily] SIT DOWN!

Young Biff: What's wrong, McFly? Chicken?
Marty McFly: What did you just call me?
Young Biff: Chicken!
Marty McFly: Nobody! Calls me... chicken.


Back to the Future Part III (1990)
[at the town festival]
Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen: Then let's finish it, right now!
Buford's Gang Member #1: Uh, not now, Buford. Uh, Marshal's got our guns.
Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen: Like I said, we'll finish this tomorrow.
Buford's Gang Member #2: Tomorrow, we're robbin' the Pine City Stage.
Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen: What about Monday? Are we doin' anything Monday?
Buford's Gang Member #1: Uh, no, Monday'd be fine. You can kill him on Monday.
Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen: I'll be back this way on Monday! We'll settle this then... right there... out in the street... in front of the Palace Saloon!
Marty McFly: Yeah, right. When? High noon?
Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen: Noon? I do my killin' before breakfast! Seven o'clock!
Marty McFly: Eight o'clock. I do my killin' after breakfast!

Marty McFly: You're Mad Dog Tannen!
Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen: Mad Dog? I hate that name. I hate it. You hear? Nobody calls me "Mad Dog", especially not some duded-up, egg-suckin' gutter trash.

Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen: What's your name, dude?
Marty McFly: Uh, Mar- Eastwood. Clint Eastwood.
Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen: What kind of stupid name is that?

[at a weapons checkpoint, Strickland holds a shotgun on Tannen]
Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen: Marshall Strickland. I didn't know you was back in town.
Marshall Strickland: If you can't read the sign, Tannen, I presume you can read THIS.

Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen: Eight o'clock Monday, runt. If you ain't here, I'll hunt you and shoot you down like a duck.
Buford's Gang Member #1: It's "dog", Buford. Shoot him down like a dog.
Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen: [enraged] Lets go, boys! Let these sissies have their party!

Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen: Wake up! Get up! Let's go! I got me a runt to kill.
Buford's Gang Member #1: It's still early, boss. What's your hurry?
Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen: I'm hungry.

Strickland's Deputy: [Buford is pulled out of a manure cart and up to his feet] Buford Tannen, you're under arrest for robbin' the Pine City Stage! You got anything to say?
Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen: [spits out a chunk of manure] I hate manure.

Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen: You owe me money, blacksmith.
Doc: How do ya figure?
Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen: My horse threw a shoe. And seein' as you was the one that done the shoein', I say that makes you responsible.
Doc: Well, since you never paid me for the job, I say that makes us even!
Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen: Wrong! See I was *on* my horse when it threw the shoe and I got throwed *off*! And *that* caused me to bust a perfectly good bottle of fine Kentucky red-eye. So, the way I figure it, blacksmith, you owe me five dollars for the whiskey and $75 for the horse.
Marty McFly: [hoarsely] That's the $80.
Doc: Look! If your horse threw a shoe, bring him back and I'll reshoe him!
Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen: I done shot that horse!
Doc: Well, that's your problem, Tannen!
Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen: Wrong! That's yours. So, from now on, you better be lookin' behind you when you walk. 'Cause one day you're gonna get a bullet in your back.
[Buford and his gang gallop away on their horses]

Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen: Smile, Marshall. After all, this *is* a party!
Marshall Strickland: The only party I'll be smilin' at is the one that sees you at the end of a rope.
Strickland's Deputy: Have fun.
[Buford and his gang head toward the town festival]
Marshall Strickland: [turns to his son] See, that's how you handle them, son. Never give 'em an inch, and maintain discipline at all times. Remember that word - "discipline."
Marshal Strickland's son: I will, Pa.
[the Marshall pats his son on the leg]

Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen: Listen up, Eastwood! I aim to shoot somebody today and I'd prefer it'd be you. But if you're just too damn yella, I guess it'll just have to be your blacksmith friend.

Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen: [arriving at the Palace Saloon] Are you in there, Eastwood? It's eight o'clock, and I'm callin' you out!
Marty McFly: [looks at the town clock, then steps towards Buford cautiously at a window] It's not 8:00 yet!
Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen: It is by my watch! Let's settle this once and for all, runt! Or ain't you got the gumption?

Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen: [to his gang members] Let's go, boys. Let these sissies have their party.

[Marshall Strickland breaks up a brawl between Marty and Buford at the festival]
Marshall Strickland: [points rifle at Buford] All right now, break it up. What's all this about? You causin' trouble here, Tannen?
Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen: No trouble, Marshall. Just a little personal matter between me and Eastwood! This don't concern the law.
Marshall Strickland: Tonight, everything concerns the law. Now break it up. Any brawlin', it's 15 days in the county jail. All right, folks, c'mon, this is a party. Come on, let's have some fun!
[walks off the stage]


Back to the Future (1985)
Biff Tannen: Mr. McFly! Mr. McFly, this just arrived. Oh, hi, Marty. I think it's your new book.
Lorraine Baines: Oh, honey! Your first novel.
George McFly: Like I've always told you, you put your mind to it, you can accomplish *anything*.
Biff Tannen: Oh, Marty. Marty, here's your keys. You're all waxed up, ready for tonight.
Marty McFly: Keys?

Biff Tannen: And where's my reports?
George McFly: Well, I haven't finished those up yet, but you know, I... I figured since they weren't due till...
Biff Tannen: Hello? Hello? Anybody home? Huh? Think, McFly. Think! I gotta have time to get them retyped. Do you realize what would happen if I hand in my reports in your handwriting? I'll get fired. You wouldn't want that to happen, would ya? Would ya?
George McFly: Of course not, Biff. Now, I wouldn't want that to happen. Now, look. I'll, uh, finish those reports on up tonight, and I'll run 'em on over first thing tomorrow, all right?
Biff Tannen: Not too early. I sleep in Saturday. Oh, McFly, your shoe's untied.
[jabs his finger up to George's face]
Biff Tannen: Don't be so gullible, McFly. Got the place fixed up nice, though, McFly.

Biff Tannen: Since you're new here, I-I'm gonna cut you a break, today. So, why don't you make like a tree and get outta here?

Biff Tannen: I have your car towed all the way to your house and all you got for me is lite beer?
[chuckles]

Biff Tannen: What are you looking at, butthead?
Skinhead: Hey, Biff, get a load of this guy's life preserver. Dork thinks he's gonna drown.

[Recurring line in all three movies]
Biff Tannen: Hey, McFly. I thought I told you never to come in here.

[Biff is waxing George's car, it's a silver BMW]
George McFly: Now, Biff, I want to make sure that we get two coats of wax this time, not just one.
Biff Tannen: I'm just finishing up the second coat now.
George McFly: Now, Biff, don't con me.
Biff Tannen: [stammering] I'm sorry, Mr. McFly. I-I meant I was just starting on the second coat.
George McFly: Biff. What a character. Always trying to get away with something. I've had to stay on top of Biff ever since high school. Although, if it wasn't for him...
Lorraine Baines: We never would have fallen in love.
George McFly: That's right.

[Marty enters his house and sees Biff harrassing George]
Biff Tannen: I can't believe you'd loan me your car without telling me it had a blind spot. I could've been killed!
George McFly: Blind spot? Now, now, Biff, now I never noticed that the car had any blind spot before when I would drive it. Hi, Son.
Biff Tannen: What, are you blind, McFly? It's there. How else do you explain that wreck out there?
George McFly: Biff, can I- Can I assume that your, uh, insurance is gonna pay for the damage?
Biff Tannen: My insurance? It's your car. Your insurance should pay for it. I wanna know who's gonna pay for this?
[shows his shirt]
Biff Tannen: I spilled beer all over it when the car smashed into me. Who's gonna pay my cleaning bill?

[after Marty caused him to crash into a manure truck]
Biff Tannen: [to his friends] I'm gonna get that son of a bitch.

Biff Tannen: Say hi to your mom for me.


Back to the Future... The Ride (1991)
Biff Tannen: What are you lookin' at, butthead?

Biff Tannen: [after tripping a scientist] Have a nice trip, see you next WINTER!

Biff Tannen: [after short-circuiting the lab, and trapping Doc in his own office, he knocks] Hello! Hello! Dr. Brown!
Doc Brown: Biff! How in the blazes did you get here?
Biff Tannen: [revealing the tied up scientists] Why don't you ask these bozos?
Institute Scientist: [Biff removes the tape off of the scientist's mouth] Dr. Brown. Our team was conducting an experiment back in 1955.
Female IFT Scientist: He must have stowed away!
Biff Tannen: Hey! I'm not the one to pass on a free ride!

Biff Tannen: Hasta la bye bye!