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: [about to rob a diner
] I love you, Pumpkin. Pumpkin
: I love you, Honey Bunny. Pumpkin
: [Standing up with a gun
] All right, everybody be cool, this is a robbery! Honey Bunny
: Any of you fucking pricks move, and I'll execute every motherfucking last one of ya!
: I'm the manager here! There's no problem, no problem at all... Pumpkin
: You're gonna give me a problem? Coffee Shop
: Noooo sir, I'm not! I'm not gonna give you any problem! Pumpkin
: You're gonna give me a problem? YOU ARE JUST GONNA GIVE ME A FUCKING PROBLEM! YOU ARE GONNA GIVE ME A FUCKING PROBLEM! Get- I don't know Honey Bunny, he looks like the hero type to me! Honey Bunny
: Well, just EXECUTE him! Coffee Shop
: I am not a hero, I'm just a coffee shop-
: The way it is now, you're taking the same risk as when you rob a bank. You take more of a risk, banks are easier. You don't even need a gun in a federal bank. I mean, they're insured, why should they give a fuck? I heard of this one guy, walks into a bank with a portable phone. He gives the phone to the teller, a guy on the other end of the line says, we've got this guy's little girl, if you don't give him all your money, we're gonna kill her. Yolanda
: Did it work? Pumpkin
: Fucking-A right, it worked. That's what I'm saying. Knucklehead walks into a bank with a telephone! Not a pistol, not a shotgun, but a fucking phone. Cleans the place out, doesn't even lift a fucking finger. Yolanda
: Did they hurt the little girl? Pumpkin
: I don't know, there probably never was a little girl in the first place. The point of the story isn't the little girl, the point of the story is, they robbed a bank with a telephone.
: You want to rob banks? Pumpkin
: I'm not saying I want to rob banks, I'm just illustrating that if we did, it'd be easier than what we've been doing. Yolanda
: No more liquor stores? Pumpkin
: What have we been talking about? Yeah, no more liquor stores. Besides, it ain't the giggle it used to be. Too many foreigners own liquor stores these days. Vietnamese, Koreans, they don't even speak fucking English. You tell them, empty out the register, they don't know what the fuck you're talking about. They make it too personal, one of these gook fuckers is gonna make us kill him. Yolanda
: I'm not gonna kill anybody. Pumpkin
: I don't want to kill anybody either. But they'll probably put us in a situation where it's us or them. And if it's not the gooks, it's these old fucking Jews who've owned the store for fifteen fucking generations, you've got Grampa Irving sitting behind the counter with a fucking Magnum in his hand. Try walking into one of those places with nothing but a phone, see how far you get.
: This place? A coffee shop? Pumpkin
: Why not? Nobody ever robs restaurants. Bars, liquor stores, gas stations... you get your head blown off sticking up one of them. Restaurants on the other hand, you catch with their pants down. They're not expecting to get robbed. Not as expectant anyway. Yolanda
: I bet you could cut down on the hero factor in a place like this. Pumpkin
: Right, just like banks, these places are insured. Manager? He don't give a fuck. He just wants to get you out the door before you start plugging the diners. Waitresses? Fucking forget it! No way they're taking a bullet for the register. Busboys? Some wetback getting paid a dollar-fifty an hour, really give a fuck you're stealing from the owner? See, I got the idea, last liquor store we held up, all the customers kept coming in? Yolanda
: Yeah. Pumpkin
: And you got the idea of taking their wallets. Now that was a good idea. Yolanda
: Thank you. Pumpkin
: Made more from the wallets than we did from the register. Yolanda
: Yes, we did. Pumpkin
: A lot of customers come into a restaurant. Yolanda
: A lot of wallets. Pumpkin
: Pretty smart, eh? Yolanda
: Pretty smart.
: Now Yolanda, we're not gonna do anything stupid, are we? Yolanda
: You don't hurt him. Jules
: Nobody's gonna hurt anybody. We're gonna be like three little Fonzies here. And what's Fonzie like? Come on Yolanda what's Fonzie like? Yolanda
: Cool? Jules
: What? Yolanda
: He's cool. Jules
: Correctamundo. And that's what we're gonna be. We're gonna be cool. Now Ringo, I'm gonna count to three, and when I count three, you let go of your gun, and sit your ass down. But when you do it, you do it cool. Ready? One... two... three.
[Ringo sits down opposite Jules
: All right, now you let him go. Jules
: Yolanda, I thought you said you were gonna be cool. Now when you yell at me, it makes me nervous. And when I get nervous, I get scared. And when motherfuckers get scared, that's when motherfuckers accidentally get shot. Yolanda
: You just know, you touch him, you die. Jules
: Well, that seems to be the situation. But I don't want that. And you don't want that. And Ringo here *definitely* doesn't want that.
: Forget it. Too risky. I'm through doing that shit. Yolanda
: You always say that. That same thing every time, "I'm through, never again, too dangerous". Pumpkin
: I know that's what I always say. I'm always right, too. Yolanda
: But you forget about it in a day or two. Pumpkin
: Yeah, well the days of me forgetting are over, and the days of me remembering have just begun.
: Yolanda? How we doin, baby? Yolanda
: I gotta go pee! I want to go home. Jules
: Just hang in there, baby. You're doing' great. Ringo's proud of you and so am I. It's almost over. Tell her you're proud of her. Pumpkin
: I'm proud of you, Honey Bunny. Yolanda
: I love you! Pumpkin
: I love you too, Honey Bunny.