Hans Gruber
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Quotes for
Hans Gruber (Character)
from Die Hard (1988)

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Die Hard (1988)
Joseph Takagi: You want money? What kind of terrorists are you?
Hans Gruber: Who said we were terrorists?

Hans Gruber: [Reading what McClane wrote on the dead terrorist's shirt] "Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho."

Hans Gruber: [Hans' radio turns on] I thought I told all of you, I want radio silence until further...
John McClane: Ooooh, I'm very sorry Hans. I didn't get that message. Maybe you should've put it on the bulletin board. I figured since I've waxed Tony and Marco and his friend here, I figured you and Karl and Franco might be a little lonely, so I wanted to give you a call.
Karl: How does he know so much about th...
Hans Gruber: [silences Karl him with a gesture] That's very kind of you. I assume you are our mysterious party crasher. You are most troublesome, for a security guard.
John McClane: Eeeh! Sorry Hans, wrong guess. Would you like to go for Double Jeopardy where the scores can really change?
[speaking to dead man about cigarettes]
John McClane: Whoa, these are very bad for you.
Hans Gruber: Who are you then?
John McClane: Just a fly in the ointment, Hans. The monkey in the wrench. The pain in the ass.

Hans Gruber: [on the radio] Mr. Mystery Guest? Are you still there?
John McClane: Yeah, I'm still here. Unless you wanna open the front door for me.
Hans Gruber: Uh, no, I'm afraid not. But, you have me at a loss. You know my name but who are you? Just another American who saw too many movies as a child? Another orphan of a bankrupt culture who thinks he's John Wayne? Rambo? Marshal Dillon?
John McClane: Was always kinda partial to Roy Rogers actually. I really like those sequined shirts.
Hans Gruber: Do you really think you have a chance against us, Mr. Cowboy?
John McClane: Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.

Hans Gruber: "And when Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer." Benefits of a classical education.

Hans Gruber: [addressing the hostages] I wanted this to be professional, efficient, adult, cooperative. Not a lot to ask. Alas, your Mr. Takagi did not see it that way... so he won't be joining us for the rest of his life. We can go any way you want it. You can walk out of here or be carried out. But have no illusions. We are in charge. So, decide now, each of you. And please remember: we have left nothing to chance.

Hans Gruber: [during a shootout with McClane, who is barefoot] Karl, schieß dem Fenster
[sic]
Hans Gruber: [Karl gives Hans a puzzled look. Exasperated, Hans repeats it in English] *Shoot* the *glass!

Hans Gruber: This time John Wayne does not walk off into the sunset with Grace Kelly.
John McClane: That was Gary Cooper, asshole.

Holly Gennero McClane: After all your posturing, all your little speeches, you're nothing but a common thief.
Hans Gruber: I am an exceptional thief, Mrs. McClane. And since I'm moving up to kidnapping, you should be more polite.

Holly Gennero McClane: I have a request.
Hans Gruber: What idiot put you in charge?
Holly Gennero McClane: You did
[Hans looks at her]
Holly Gennero McClane: When you murdered my boss. Now everybody's looking to me. Personally, I'd pass on the job. I don't enjoy being this close to you.
[long pause]
Hans Gruber: Go on
Holly Gennero McClane: We have a pregnant woman out there
[Hans looks disturbed]
Holly Gennero McClane: relax... she's not due for a couple of weeks... Sitting on that rock isn't doing her back any good... so I would like permission to move her to one of the office where there's a sofa
Hans Gruber: No, but I'll have a sofa brought out to you... good enough
Holly Gennero McClane: Good enough and unless you like it messy, I'd start bring us in groups to the bathroom
Hans Gruber: Yes... you're right, it will be done

Hans Gruber: Now, you *can* break the code?
Theo: You didn't bring me along for my charming personality.

Hans Gruber: Touching, Cowboy, touching. Or should I call you, Mr. McClane? Mr. Officer John McClane of the New York Police Department?
Richard Thornburg: Get on the phone to Harry in New York. Come on, baby, move, move.
Thornburg's Assistant: Got it.
Sergeant Al Powell: Better get a hold of somebody in dispatch.
John McClane: Sister Teresa called me Mr. McClane in the third grade. My friends call me John, and you're neither, shit-head.
Hans Gruber: I have someone who wants to talk to you; a very special friend who was with you at the party tonight.
Harry Ellis: [Hans hands him the walkie talkie] Hey, John boy.
John McClane: Ellis?
Harry Ellis: Yeah. Now listen, John, they're giving me a few minutes to try to talk some sense into you. I know you think you're doing your job, John, and I can appreciate that, but, you're just dragging this thing out. Now look, no one gets outta here until these guys can talk to the *LA* police, and that just ain't gonna happen until you stop messin' up the works, capisci?
John McClane: Ellis, what have you told them?
Harry Ellis: I told 'em we were old friends and you were my guest at the party.
John McClane: Ellis, you shouldn't be doin' this.
Harry Ellis: Tell me about it. Alright, John, listen. They want you to tell them where the detonators are. They know people are listening. They want the detonators or they're gonna kill me.
[pause]
Harry Ellis: John, didn't you hear me?
John McClane: Yeah, I hear you.
Harry Ellis: Hey, John, I think you can get with the program a little, huh? The police are here now, it's their problem. Now tell these guys where the detonators are so no one else gets hurt, you know I'm putting my life on the line for you, pal.
John McClane: Ellis, listen to me very carefully.
Harry Ellis: John?
John McClane: Shut up Ellis, just shut your mouth! Put Hans back on the line.
[Ellis holds the walkie talkie up]
John McClane: Hans, this shit-head does not know what kind of man you are, but I do. Listen to me!
Hans Gruber: Good. Then, you'll give us what we want and save your friend's life. You're not part of this equation this time, you realize that.
[presents his gun]
Harry Ellis: Hey, what am I, a method actor? Hans, babe, put away the gun, this is radio, not television.
John McClane: [nervously yelling] Hans, this asshole is not my friend, I just met him tonight, I don't know him. Jesus Christ, Ellis these people are gonna kill you, tell them, you don't know me.
Harry Ellis: John, how can you say that after all these years, huh? John?
[gets no response]
Harry Ellis: John?
[still gets no response, then laughs slightly, then Hans shoots him in the head]
Hans Gruber: [he puts the walkie talkie up to the screaming crowd, then yells into the walkie talkie] You hear that? Talk to me, where are my detonators? Where are they, or shall I shoot another one? Sooner or later, I might get to someone you *do* care about!
John McClane: Go fuck yourself, Hans.

Hans Gruber: Nice suit. John Phillips, London. I have two myself. Rumor has it Arafat buys his there.

Hans Gruber: I'm going to count to three, there will not be a four. Give me the code.

John McClane: So that's is what this is about, Hans? A fucking robbery?
Hans Gruber: Put down the gun.
John McClane: Why'd you have to nuke the whole building, Hans?
Hans Gruber: Well, when you steal $600, you can just disappear. When you steal 600 million, they will find you, unless they think you're already dead.

John McClane: You'd have made a pretty good cowboy yourself, Hans.
Hans Gruber: Oh, yes. What was it you said to me before? "Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker."

Takagi: [Hans is threatening to kill Takagi if he doesn't divulge the code to the vault] I don't know it, I'm telling you. Get on a jet to Tokyo and ask the Chairman. I'm telling you, you're just going to have to kill me.
Hans Gruber: Okay.
[shoots Takagi in the head]
Hans Gruber: We do it the hard way.

Hans: [Hans uses McClane's gun and says something in an uninterpreted German on his CB Radio] Put down the gun, and give me my detonators.
John McClane: Well, well, well... Hans.
Hans: Put it down now.
John McClane: That's pretty tricky with that accent. You oughta be on fucking TV with that accent. But what do you want with the detonators, Hans? I already used all the explosives. Or did I?
Hans: I'm going to count to three...
John McClane: Yeah, like you did with Takagi?
John McClane: [Hans pulls trigger] Ooops.
[Hans pulls the trigger a few times more]
John McClane: No more bullets. What do you think, I'm fucking stupid, Hans?
Hans: [elevator opens] You were saying?

Hans: Mr. Takagi, I could talk about industrialization and men's fashion all day, but I'm afraid work must intrude, and my associate, Theo, has some questions for you. Sort of fill in the blanks questions, actually.

Hans: The following people are to be released from their captors: In Northern Ireland, the seven members of the New Provo Front. In Canada, the five imprisoned leaders of Liberte de Quebec. In Sri Lanka, the nine members of the Asian Dawn movement...
John McClane: [listening on the radio] What the fuck?
Karl: [mouthing silently] Asian Dawn?
Hans: [covers the radio] I read about them in Time magazine.

Fritz: They're using artillery on us!
Hans Gruber: You idiot, it's not the police. It's *him*!
[referring to McClane]

Hans Gruber: [after bad guys hit police ram with rocket]
[in radio to bad guys]
Hans Gruber: Hit it, again.
John McClane: [in radio to Hans] Hans you motherfucker, you made your point! Let them pull back!
Hans Gruber: [in radio to McClaine] Thank you, Mr. Cowboy, I'll take it under advisement.
[to bad guys]
Hans Gruber: *Hit it, again.*

Hans Gruber: The circuits that cannot be cut are cut automatically in response to a terrorist incident. You asked for miracles, Theo, I give you the F.B.I.

Hans Gruber: When they touch down, we'll blow the roof, they'll spend a month sifting through rubble, and by the time they figure out what went wrong, we'll be sitting on a beach, earning twenty percent.

Hans: Mrs. McClane. How nice to make your acquaintance.

John McClane: [Getting out a pack of cigarettes] Do you smoke?
Hans Gruber: [while mimicing a hostage] Yeah.
[McClane hands him the pack of cigarettes]
Hans Gruber: Thanks. Now, you don't work for Nakatomi, and you're not one of them.
John McClane: I'm a cop from New York.
Hans Gruber: New York?
John McClane: Yeah. I got invited to the Christmas party by mistake. Who knew.
[laughs]
John McClane: Better being caught with your pants down, huh? I'm John McClane, and you are?
Hans Gruber: [Quickly thinks of a name which he got from a nearby Bulletin board] Clay. Bill Clay.
John McClane: [Takes out his handgun] You now how to use a handgun, Bill?
Hans Gruber: I spent a weekend at a combat ranch. You know where they shoot red paint, but it sounds stupid to you.
John McClane: Well, time for the real thing, Bill. All you gotta do is pull the trigger.

Harry Ellis: I hope I'm not interrupting anything.
Hans Gruber: What does he want?
Harry Ellis: It's not what I want, it's what I can give you.
[comes in]
Harry Ellis: Well, I've watched 60 Minutes, and I'm saying to myself, they're motivated, they're happening, I.E. they want something. Maybe it's because you're pissed off or maybe it's the jockies, it's none of my business.
Hans Gruber: Very good, you've figured it out already.
Harry Ellis: Hey, business is business. You use a gun, I use a fountain pen what's the difference? Let's put it in my terms: you're in a hostile takeover, you snatch us up for some green mail, but you're not expecting some poison pill to be running around the building, am I right? Hans, *bubby*, I'm your white knight.
Hans Gruber: [Looking puzzled] I must have missed 60 Minutes. What are you saying?
Harry Ellis: You know that guy that's fucking things up upstairs?
[sits down]
Harry Ellis: I can give him to you.
[grins]

Hans Gruber: Due to the Nakatomi Corporation's legacy of greed around the globe, they are about to be taught a lesson in the real use of power. You will be witnesses.

Hans Gruber: If you'd listened to me, he would be neutralised already.
Karl: I don't want neutral. I want dead.

Hans Gruber: Theo, are we on schedule?
Theo: One more to go then it's up to you. And you better be right, because it looks like this last one is going to take a miracle.
Hans Gruber: It's Christmas, Theo. It's the time of miracles. So be of good cheer... and call me when you hit the last lock.

Hans Gruber: Now, where is Mr. Takagi? Joseph Yoshinobu Takagi, born in Kyoto, Japan, 1937. Family immigrated to San Pedro , California, 1939. Interned Manzanar, 1942 to 43. Scholarship student University of California, 1955. Law degree, Stanford, 1962. MBA , Harvard, 1970. President, Nakatomi Corporation. Chairman, Nakatomi Investment Group...
Joseph Takagi: [interrupting] Enough!
Hans Gruber: [concluding] and father of five.
Joseph Takagi: I am Takagi!

Hans Gruber: I'm going to count to three, there won't be a four... Give me the code.