Zeus Carver
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Quotes for
Zeus Carver (Character)
from Die Hard with a Vengeance (1995)

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Die Hard with a Vengeance (1995)
John McClane: Listen, you fail I cover your ass. I fail you cover my ass!
Zeus Carver: And if we both fail?
John McClane: Then we're both fucked!

John McClane: I'll tell you what your problem is, you don't like me 'cause you're a racist!
Zeus Carver: What?
John McClane: You're a racist! You don't like me 'cause I'm white!
Zeus Carver: I don't like you because you're gonna get me *killed*!

Zeus Carver: Didn't I hear you say you didn't even like your brother?
Simon Gruber: There's a difference, you know, between not liking one's brother and not caring when some dumb Irish flatfoot drops him out of a window.

Zeus Carver: No riddle is gonna stop this motherfucker?
Simon Gruber: No code, no riddle, no fancy little countdown.

Zeus: So what's up with this L.A. thing? You famous or something?
John McClane: Yeah, for about five minutes.
Zeus: Don't tell me. Rodney King, right?
John McClane: Fuck you.

John McClane: [hands Zeus a gun] Here take this.
Zeus: How's it work?
John McClane: You don't know how to shoot a gun?
Zeus: Look, all brothers don't know how to shoot guns, you racist motherfucker.
John McClane: Sue me.

[McClane and Zeus are speeding through Central Park]
Zeus: Are you aiming for these people?
John McClane: No. Well, maybe that mime.

Simon: [talking to police on speaker phone] Well, is the ebony Samaritan there, now?
Zeus: You got a problem with ebony?
Simon: No, no. My only problem is that I went to some trouble preparing that game for McClane. You interfered with a well-laid plan.
Zeus: Yeah, well, you can stick your well-laid plan up your well-laid ass.

Zeus: Now, where you goin'?
Dexter: School.
Zeus: Why?
Raymond: To get educated.
Zeus: *Why*?
Dexter: So we can go to college.
Zeus: And why is that important?
Dexter: To get es-pect.
Zeus: RE-spect. Now, who's the bad guys?
Dexter: Guys who sell drugs.
Raymond: Guys who have guns.
Zeus: And who's the good guys?
Dexter: We're the good guys.
Zeus: Who's gonna help you?
Raymond: Nobody.
Zeus: *So who's gonna help you*?
Dexter: We're gonna help ourselves.
Zeus: And who do we not want to help us?
Dexter, Raymond: White people.
Zeus: That's right. Now get on outta here. Go to school.

Zeus: Don't fuckin' move.
Simon: [turns around] Oh, the Samaritan.
Zeus: Gimme the goddamn code.
Simon: Code?
[realizing what Zeus is talking about]
Simon: Oh, you mean for the school. I'm sorry, I can't do that.
Zeus: You call in that code right now. Or I'll blow your sick ass into the next world.
Simon: If that's what you gotta do.
[Zeus pulls the trigger on his gun and nothing happens, Simon takes the gun from Zeus]
Simon: You forgot to take the safety catch off.
[shoots Zeus in the leg]
Zeus: Oh, God!
Simon: See, that works. Now, where's McClane?

Zeus: What the hell's all this got to do with killing McClane?
Simon: Life has its little bonuses.

Zeus: Damn McClane, you know I was just starting to like you.
John McClane: Yeah, well don't, I'm an asshole.
Zeus: What are you talking about, now?
John McClane: I lied to you, Zeus.
Zeus: About what?
John McClane: You remember, I said Weiss found that bomb up in Harlem?
Zeus: Yeah.
John McClane: They found it down in Chinatown.
Zeus: Oh. Oh, now that's low, even for a white motherfucker like you. That's low.
John McClane: I told you I was an asshole.

Zeus: I told you 9th Avenue is the quickest way south.
John McClane: Stop all the goddamn yellin'! I know what I'm doing.
Zeus: Not even God knows what you're doing!

Zeus: Morning.
John McClane: Good morning.
Zeus: You having a nice day, sir? You feeling all right? Not to get too personal, but a white man standing in the middle of Harlem wearing a sign that says "I hate niggers" has either got some serious personal issues, or not all his dogs are barking.
[John yawns]
Zeus: Hey! I'm talking to you! Now you've got about ten seconds before those guys see you, and when they do they will kill you, you understand? You are about to have a very bad day.
John McClane: Tell me about it.

Helicopter Pilot: Hang on, we're going down.
John McClane: Do you see those high-tension wires?
Zeus: Hey, McClane, what the fuck!

Zeus: Oh, boy... am I glad you talked me out of jumping.

John McClane: This thing got airbags?
Zeus: Your side does, I don't know about mi-
Zeus: McClane!

Zeus: That's it!
John McClane: What?
Zeus: Hillary Clinton. The 42nd President.
John McClane: Nah, she'd be the 43rd President.
Zeus: Alright, alright. But who's the 21st President?
John McClane: I don't know.
Zeus: You don't know?
John McClane: No, I don't know! Do you know?
Zeus: No!
John McClane: Well?

Zeus: Excuse me, sir, but I'm expecting a call. I need that phone.
Businessman: Why don't you use the other phone?
Zeus: Sir, please. I need to use that phone.
Businessman: Hey, listen, bro, I was here first.
Zeus: Bro? Get away from the goddamn phone!

[Zeus rushes into the Wall Street subway station and gets held at gunpoint by a transit cop who saw him jump the turnstiles]
Zeus: [slowly] I have to answer that phone.
Transit cop: Get 'em up!
Zeus: Look, if you have to shoot me, then you go ahead and you shoot me! But I have to answer this phone, all right?
Zeus: [picks up the receiver] I'm here.
Simon: [on the other line] And McClane?
Zeus: He's on his way. Uh, you know, he's a little slow. He's kinda outta shape.
Simon: The rules applied to both of you. I'm afraid this is noncompliance. Goodbye.
[Simon hangs up]
Zeus: Trust me guys. Duck.
[He immediately takes cover, knowing what will happen. As the train enters the station, McClane tries to smash the door on the last car of the train to throw the bomb out onto the track to minimize the amount of damage. As he does that, the wheels on the firts car hit a trip wire on the left rail that is connected to a remote detonator. It activates the bomb as McClane is throwing it out the window, causing the rear car to slide across the island platform, knocking down signs and columns]

Zeus: What the fuck are you doin'?
John McClane: Interrogatin' him.
Zeus: Well, what's he gonna tell you, "I'm dead"?
John McClane: Well, I ain't gonna know 'til I ask him, am I?

John McClane: Yo, partner! Wait up.
Zeus: Hey, hey, hey, hey, I ain't your partner. I ain't your neighbor, your brother, or your friend. I'm your total stranger.

[Zeus and McClane have just stolen a man's car on the highway]
Zeus: [to man] Hey! Who was the 21st President?
Man: Go fuck yourself!

John McClane: You know this guy Simon we're talking to?
Zeus: Yeah.
John McClane: I threw his little brother off the thirty-second floor of Nakatomi Towers out in L.A. I guess he's a little pissed off about it.
Zeus: Wait a minute. You mean to tell me I'm in this shit 'cause some white cop threw some white asshole's brother off a roof?

[McClane and Zeus are arguing over how to solve the problem]
John McClane: I'll put my foot up your ass, you dumb, mother...
Zeus: Say it! Say it!
John McClane: What?
Zeus: You were gonna call me a nigger, weren't you?
John McClane: No I wasn't!
Zeus: Yes you were! What were you gonna call me?
John McClane: Asshole! How's that, asshole!

[trying to get to one of Simon's destinations on time]
Zeus: I told you the Park Drive is always jammed.
John McClane: I didn't say "Park Drive."
[McClane turns the cab and drives through the park]
John McClane: I said "through the park."

Zeus: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm not going anywhere.
Inspector Cobb: Simon says you got to go.
Zeus: I'm not jumping through hoops for some psycho! That's a white man, with white problems. You deal with him. Call me when he crosses 110th Street.

Zeus: If I hadn't've saved your fuckin' ass, I wouldn't be sittin' here with you about to blow up with 100 billion dollars in fuckin' gold.
John McClane: Yeah, well, I got some bad news, you're only gonna blow up with me.
Zeus: What?
John McClane: No gold on this boat.
Zeus: How do you know that?
John McClane: Cuz I know the man, I know the family. The only thing better than blowing up 100 billion dollars worth of gold is making people think you did.

[McClane and Zeus break into a car]
John McClane: You know how to hot-wire this thing?
Zeus: Of course I can, I'm an electrician. Only problem is...
[Zeus starts the ignition with his pliers]
Zeus: it takes too fuckin' long.

[Referring to The Sign of the Cross]
Zeus: How do Catholics do their thing?
John McClane: North, South, West, East.

[about to call Simon with the answer to another riddle]
Zeus: No, wait, wait! It's a trick. It's a trick.
John McClane: What d'you mean?
Zeus: I forgot about the man.
John McClane: What man? Fuck the man! We got ten seconds here!
Zeus: He said, "how many were going to St. Ives," right? The riddle begins, "As I was going to St. Ives, I met a man with seven wives!" The guy and his wives aren't going anywhere.
John McClane: What are they doing?
Zeus: Sitting in the fucking road! Waiting on the moor! How the hell should I know?

John McClane: You know how to pick this lock?
Zeus: Is this some black-shit again?
John McClane: Hey will you stop that racial shit? Are you a fuckin' locksmith or not?

Zeus: Dial 911. Tell the police to get up here quick. Somebody's about to get killed. And get your butts to school, you hear me?
Raymond: [casually] Yeah.
Dexter: Yeah.

Zeus: [helicopter being shot at by Simon] Oh, shit!
Helicopter Pilot: Oh, shit!
John McClane: What do you mean, "Oh, shit"?

Zeus: Why you keep calling me Jésus? I look Puerto Rican to you?
John McClane: Guy back there called you Jésus.
Zeus: He didn't say Jésus. He said, "Hey, Zeus!" My name is Zeus.
John McClane: Zeus?
Zeus: Yeah, Zeus! As in, father of Apollo? Mt. Olympus? Don't fuck with me or I'll shove a lightning bolt up your ass? Zeus! You got a problem with that?
John McClane: No, I don't have a problem with that.

Zeus: What the hell's it doing now?
John McClane: It's mixing.

Kid #1: It's Christmas. You could steal City Hall.
John McClane: Come on.
[Zeus and John take the kids' bikes]
Kid #1: My bike?
John McClane: Let's go. Come on.
Kid #1: That's my bike!
Zeus: Yeah, it's Christmas!

Raymond: Yo, uncle!
Dexter: Come look at this!
Zeus: [looks at watch] It's ten after nine. Why aren't you in school?
Raymond: Tony wants to sell you this.
Zeus: Tony? That no-neck dude they call "Bad T"?
Dexter: He says he found it in a dumpster.
Zeus: He keeps stealing from people, they're gonna find him in a dumpster.
Raymond: No, he didn't steal it. He says his uncle gave it to him.
Zeus: Mm-hm? Hand me that newspaper over there.
[Raymond hands Zeus the paper, and he whaps his nephews' heads lightly]
Zeus: Don't *ever* let people use you. You're running all over town with stolen property; if you get caught, you get in trouble while he gets to deny the whole thing and walk away.
Dexter: Y-You mean, you want us to take it back to Tony?
Zeus: No, I'll take it back to Tony... with a message.

Zeus: That guy was pissed.
John McClane: He'll feel better when he looks in the back seat.
Zeus: Shit! That was *my* gold bar!

[last lines]
John McClane: Oh, shit.
Zeus: What? *What*?
John McClane: I left Holly hanging on hold.
Zeus: Ah, call her back.
John McClane: Uhh, she's gonna be pissed.
Zeus: She'll get over it.
John McClane: I don't know, Zeus. Like I said, she's a very stubborn woman.
Zeus: She'd have to be to stay married to you.

John McClane: Think we should call a fire truck?
Zeus: Aw, fuck 'em. Let 'em cook!

John McClane: [Zeus has picked up a stray gold ingot and attempts to carry it out with him] Put that shit down.
Zeus: No fuckin' way.
John McClane: They ain't gonna let you keep it.
Zeus: Yeah, yeah, we'll see.

Zeus: [angrily] It's my lucky fuckin' day!

John McClane: [after realizing that all of the city's cops are busy searching schools for Simon's bomb] What is it that Wall Street doesn't have?
Zeus: What, is this shit catching? You're talking in riddles!
John McClane: No, man, stay with me, what is it that Wall Street doesn't have?
Zeus: What?
John McClane: Schools. And what is it they've got a shitload of?
Zeus: What?

Businessman in Taxi: 112 Wall Street.
Zeus Carver: No wait. This isn't a taxi.
Businessman in Taxi: Your lights are on. Look, I'll make this very simple. 112 Wall Street, or I'll have your medallion suspended. What you don't like white people?
Zeus Carver: 112 Wall Street? Got it.