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Quotes for
Cyrano Jones (Character)
from "Star Trek" (1966)

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"Star Trek: The Trouble with Tribbles (#2.15)" (1967)
[the trader is furious after Cyrano Jones has given Uhura a tribble that the trader had wanted to sell]
Trader: What are you trying to do, ruin the market?
Cyrano Jones: Once this lovely little lady starts to show this precious little darling around, you won't be able to keep up with them.

Trader: Four credits.
Cyrano Jones: Is that an offer or a joke?
Trader: That's my offer.
Cyrano Jones: That's a joke.

Korax: [the tribbles squeal as he pours some of his drink into Cyrano Jones' glass] The Earthers like those fuzzy things. Don't they?
Cyrano Jones: [accepts drink, laughs nervously] Oh, yes.
Korax: Well, frankly, I never liked Earthers. They remind me of Regulan bloodworms.
[the Klingons laugh]
Chekov: That cossack!
Scott: Easy, lad. You ought to be more forgiving.
Korax: Though... I just remembered. There is one Earth man who doesn't remind me of a Regulan bloodworm. That's Kirk. A Regulan bloodworm is soft, and shapeless. But Kirk isn't soft. Kirk may be a swaggering, overbearing, tin-plated dictator with delusions of godhood. But he's not soft.
Scott: [as Chekov gets up] Take it easy, lad. Everybody is entitled to an opinion.
[Chekov sits down]
Korax: That's right. And if I think that Kirk is a Denebian slime devil, well, that's my opinion, too.
Scott: [as Chekov gets up again] Don't do it, mister, and that's an order.
Chekov: But you heard what he called the Captain!
Scott: Forget it. It's not worth fighting for. We're big enough to take a few insults.
[swaps Chekov's empty glass with another]
Scott: Now, drink your drink.
[Chekov sits down and obliges]
Korax: Of course, I'd say that Captain Kirk deserves his ship. We like the Enterprise. We, we really do! That sagging, old rust bucket is designed like a garbage scow.
[Scotty's ears perk up]
Korax: Half the quadrant knows it; that's why they're learning to speak Klingoni!
Chekov: [outraged] Mr. Scott!
Scott: [to Korax] Laddie... don't ya think you should... rephrase that?
Korax: [in Scottish brogue] You're right. I should.
Korax: [normal voice] I didn't mean to say that the Enterprise should be hauling garbage. I meant to say that it should be hauled away AS garbage!
[Korax laughs. Scotty stands up, decks him, and a brawl ensues]

Spock: Surely you must have realized what would happen if you removed the tribbles from their predator-filled environment into an environment where their natural multiplicative proclivities would have no restraining factors.
Cyrano Jones: [all in one breath] Well, of cour... What did you say?
Spock: [irritated but patient] By removing the tribbles from their natural habitat, you have, so to speak, removed the cork from the bottle and allowed the genie to escape.

[Cyrano Jones is asking for leniency after his tribbles have infested the entire space station]
Capt. Kirk: There is one thing you could do.
Cyrano Jones: Yes.
Capt. Kirk: Pick up every tribble on the space station. If you do that, I'll speak to Mr. Lurry about returning your spaceship.
Cyrano Jones: [appalled] It would take years!
Spock: 17.9, to be exact.
Cyrano Jones: 17.9 years?
Capt. Kirk: Consider it job security.

"Star Trek: The Animated Series: More Tribbles, More Troubles (#1.5)" (1973)
Captain James T. Kirk: You... sold... tribbles... on a Klingon planet.
Cyrano Jones: Well I didn't know it was a Klingon planet.
Captain James T. Kirk: Tribbles don't like Klingons. That should have given you some clue.
Cyrano Jones: Klingons like tribbles even less.

Captain James T. Kirk: [about the Tribbles] In any case, they're eating the quintotriticale.
Cyrano Jones: The what?
Captain James T. Kirk: The wheat!

Mr. Spock: Tribbles are well known for their proclivities in multiplication.
Cyrano Jones: And they breed fast, too.