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[the trader is furious after Cyrano Jones has given Uhura a tribble that the trader had wanted to sell
: What are you trying to do, ruin the market? Cyrano Jones
: Once this lovely little lady starts to show this precious little darling around, you won't be able to keep up with them.
: Four credits. Cyrano Jones
: Is that an offer or a joke? Trader
: That's my offer. Cyrano Jones
: That's a joke.
: [the tribbles squeal as he pours some of his drink into Cyrano Jones' glass
] The Earthers like those fuzzy things. Don't they? Cyrano Jones
: [accepts drink, laughs nervously
] Oh, yes. Korax
: Well, frankly, I never liked Earthers. They remind me of Regulan bloodworms.
[the Klingons laugh
: That cossack! Scott
: Easy, lad. You ought to be more forgiving. Korax
: Though... I just remembered. There is one Earth man who doesn't remind me of a Regulan bloodworm. That's Kirk. A Regulan bloodworm is soft, and shapeless. But Kirk isn't soft. Kirk may be a swaggering, overbearing, tin-plated dictator with delusions of godhood. But he's not soft. Scott
: [as Chekov gets up
] Take it easy, lad. Everybody is entitled to an opinion.
[Chekov sits down
: That's right. And if I think that Kirk is a Denebian slime devil, well, that's my opinion, too. Scott
: [as Chekov gets up again
] Don't do it, mister, and that's an order. Chekov
: But you heard what he called the Captain! Scott
: Forget it. It's not worth fighting for. We're big enough to take a few insults.
[swaps Chekov's empty glass with another
: Now, drink your drink.
[Chekov sits down and obliges
: Of course, I'd say that Captain Kirk deserves his ship. We like the Enterprise. We, we really do! That sagging, old rust bucket is designed like a garbage scow.
[Scotty's ears perk up
: Half the quadrant knows it; that's why they're learning to speak Klingoni! Chekov
] Mr. Scott! Scott
: [to Korax
] Laddie... don't ya think you should... rephrase that? Korax
: [in Scottish brogue
] You're right. I should. Korax
: [normal voice
] I didn't mean to say that the Enterprise should be hauling garbage. I meant to say that it should be hauled away AS garbage!
[Korax laughs. Scotty stands up, decks him, and a brawl ensues
: Surely you must have realized what would happen if you removed the tribbles from their predator-filled environment into an environment where their natural multiplicative proclivities would have no restraining factors. Cyrano Jones
: [all in one breath
] Well, of cour... What did you say? Spock
: [irritated but patient
] By removing the tribbles from their natural habitat, you have, so to speak, removed the cork from the bottle and allowed the genie to escape.
[Cyrano Jones is asking for leniency after his tribbles have infested the entire space station
] Capt. Kirk
: There is one thing you could do. Cyrano Jones
: Yes. Capt. Kirk
: Pick up every tribble on the space station. If you do that, I'll speak to Mr. Lurry about returning your spaceship. Cyrano Jones
] It would take years! Spock
: 17.9, to be exact. Cyrano Jones
: 17.9 years? Capt. Kirk
: Consider it job security.
Captain James T. Kirk
: You... sold... tribbles... on a Klingon planet. Cyrano Jones
: Well I didn't know it was a Klingon planet. Captain James T. Kirk
: Tribbles don't like Klingons. That should have given you some clue. Cyrano Jones
: Klingons like tribbles even less.
Captain James T. Kirk
: [about the Tribbles
] In any case, they're eating the quintotriticale. Cyrano Jones
: The what? Captain James T. Kirk
: The wheat!
: Tribbles are well known for their proclivities in multiplication. Cyrano Jones
: And they breed fast, too.