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Quotes for
Harry Mudd (Character)
from "Star Trek" (1966)

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"Star Trek: Mudd's Women (#1.6)" (1966)
Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh: [to Spock] You're part Vulcanian, aren't you?
[Spock doesn't answer, just hums]
Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh: Ah, well, then a pretty face doesn't affect you at all, does it - uh, that is not unless you want it to? You can save it, girls. This type can turn himself off from any emotion.

Captain James T. Kirk: [referring to the women] Is this your crew, Captain?
Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh: Well, no, Captain. This is me cargo.

Mr. Spock: State your name for the record.
Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh: Leo Francis Walsh.
Computer Voice: Incorrect.
Mr. Spock: Your correct name.
Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh: Gentlemen, surely you're not going to take the word of a soulless mechanical device over that of a real, flesh and blood man?
Mr. Spock: State your correct name for the record.
Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh: Harry Mudd.
Computer Voice: Incorrect.
Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh: Harcourt Fenton Mudd.
Mr. Spock: Any past offenses, Mr. Mudd?
Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh: Of course not. Gentlemen, I'm simply an honest businessman.
Computer Voice: Incorrect.
Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh: Blast that tin-plated pot.

Captain James T. Kirk: Bridge to transporter room. How many did we get off?
Lt. Cmdr. Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott: [staring at Mudd's women] Oh. Erm... Four in all, sir.
Captain James T. Kirk: If the captain that vessel can walk, I want him in my cabin immediately. Correction, I want him there whether he can walk or not. Kirk out.
Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh: That fellow sounded a mite upset, didn't he?
Lt. Cmdr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: [staring at Mudd's women] Yes... yes they are.

Captain James T. Kirk: Destination and purpose of journey?
Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh: Planet Ophiucus III, wiving settlers.
Captain James T. Kirk: Come again, Mr. Mudd? You do what?
Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh: I recruit wives for settlers. A difficult but satisfying task.

Eve McHuron: We've got men willing to be our husbands waiting for us and you're taking us in the opposite direction. Staring at us like we were Saturnus harem girls or something.
Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh: That's enough, Evie.
Captain James T. Kirk: The only charges are against Mr. Mudd: Illegal operation of a vessel.
[to Harry Mudd]
Captain James T. Kirk: Do you have any defense to offer?
Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh: Only heaven's own truth; which I have just given you.

Eve McHuron: You'll never find them, Harry. And if you do find them, you know what they are - a cheat. If you'd care for someone, really care...
Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh: For whom, Evie? For Kirk? You find out ship's captains are already married, girl - to their vessels. You find that out the first time he came between him and the ship. You'll see.

Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh: I do hate to see you suffering such a situation, Captain; but, truth is truth, and the sad fact is - you WILL deal. Sooner or later, you'll have to.

Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh: Don't you think you could possibly, by accident, arrange to leave me behind here? On this planet, that would be punishment enough.
Captain James T. Kirk: I can't do that, Harry, but I will appear as a character witness at your trial, if you think that'll help.
Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh: They'll throw away the key.

Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh: Don't you think you could by possibly, mm, by accident, arrange to leave me behind here? On this planet, that would be punishment enough.
Captain James T. Kirk: I can't do that, Harry. But I will appear as a character witness at your trial, if you think that will help.
Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh: [Mournfully] They'll throw away the key.


"Star Trek: I, Mudd (#2.8)" (1967)
[trying to confuse an android]
Captain Kirk: Everything Harry tells you is a lie. Remember that. Everything Harry tells you is a lie.
Harcourt Fenton Mudd: Now listen to this carefully, Norman. I am... lying.
Norman: You say you are lying, but if everything you say is a lie, then you are telling the truth, but you cannot tell the truth because everything you say is a lie, but you lie... You tell the truth but you cannot for you lie... illogical! Illogical! Please explain! You are human. Only humans can explain their behavior! Please explain!
Captain Kirk: [giving him the same statement the androids have repeatedly given him several times before] I am not programmed to respond in that area.

Spock: You went to substantial risk and effort to bring a starship here. Logically, you must have a compelling motive.
Harcourt Fenton Mudd: [Smile fades] Spock, you're going to love it here. They all talk just the way you do.

Harcourt Fenton Mudd: Now listen, Spock, you may be a wonderful science officer but, believe me, you couldn't sell fake patents to your mother!
Spock: I fail to understand why I should care to induce my mother to purchase falsified patents.

Harcourt Fenton Mudd: [Surrounded by several Stella androids, each complaining to Harry] You can't do this to me, Kirk. It's inhuman!

Harcourt Fenton Mudd: [explaining his latest trouble] I, uh... sold the Denebians all the rights to a Vulcan fuel synthesizer.
Capt. Kirk: And the Denebians contacted the Vulcans.
Harcourt Fenton Mudd: How'd you know?
Capt. Kirk: That's what I would have done.
Harcourt Fenton Mudd: Oh. It's a typical police mentality. They've got no sense of humour; they arrested me!
McCoy: Oh, I find that shocking.
Harcourt Fenton Mudd: Worse than that! Do you know what the penalty for fraud is on Deneb 5?
Spock: Guilty party has his choice. Death by electrocution, death by gas, death by phaser, death by hanging...
Harcourt Fenton Mudd: The key word in your entire peroration, Mr. Spock, was... d-d-d-DEATH. Barbarians! Well, of course I... left.
Capt. Kirk: [to the others] He broke jail.
Harcourt Fenton Mudd: I, ah, borrowed transportation...
Capt. Kirk: He stole a spaceship.
Harcourt Fenton Mudd: ...the patrol reacted in a hostile manner...
Capt. Kirk: They fired at him!
Harcourt Fenton Mudd: They've got no respect for private property - they damaged the bloody spaceship! Well, I... I got away, but I couldn't navigate, so I wandered out through unmapped space. And here I found... Mudd!

Chekov: You know this man, Captain?
Captain Kirk: Oh, do I know him? Harcourt Fenton Mudd. Thief.
Harcourt Fenton Mudd: Oh, come now.
Captain Kirk: Swindler and con man.
Harcourt Fenton Mudd: Entrepreneur.
Captain Kirk: Liar and rogue.
Harcourt Fenton Mudd: Did I leave you with that impression?


"Star Trek: The Animated Series: Mudd's Passion (#1.10)" (1973)
Captain James T. Kirk: I thought we left you on the robot planet, Harry, permanently.
Harcourt Fenton Mudd: Never underestimate the spirit of Harcourt Fenton Mudd. I, um, borrowed a vehicle...
Mr. Spock: Stole a spaceship.
Harcourt Fenton Mudd: ...and left to find haven on Ilyra VI. A charming planet: an innocent and friendly populace...
Captain James T. Kirk: To whom you sold the Star Fleet space academy.