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Quotes for
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed (Character)
from "Star Trek: Enterprise" (2001)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"Star Trek: Enterprise: Shuttlepod One (#1.16)" (2002)
Lt. Reed: Does that sound modulated enough for you?
Commander Tucker: Modulated?
Lt. Reed: The radio! Or is it just the galaxy, giggling at us again?
Commander Tucker: It can giggle all it wants. But the galaxy's not gettin' any of our bourbon.

Lt. Reed: We have less than nine days of oxygen left. It seems a waste to use it up sleeping.
Commander Tucker: If I don't waste some oxygen sleeping, I'm gonna start gettin' real cranky. And you don't wanna spend your last nine days cooped up with me when I'm cranky!

[Tucker has lit a candle]
Lt. Reed: D'you really think that's gonna provide any heat?
Commander Tucker: The bourbon will provide the heat. The candle's just for mood.

Lt. Reed: Our last two and a half days freezing versus our last two days toasty warm. What a delightful choice.

Lt. Reed: If the truth be known, I've... never much cared for the name 'Malcolm'. Always seemed a bit too... stuffy.
Sub-Commander T'Pol: I think it's a lovely name. Mal-kom is the Vulcan word for 'serenity'.
Lt. Reed: Well then - perhaps I won't change it. Pity, though; I was rather growing fond of the name... 'Stinky'.

Commander Tucker: Who's Stinky?
Lt. Reed: [waking up] I beg your pardon?
Commander Tucker: You were talking in your sleep. Kept calling for some guy named Stinky.

Lt. Reed: Sometimes I think you North Americans read nothing but comic books and those ridiculous science fiction novels.
Commander Tucker: Well, I'll have you know that Superman was laced with metaphor - subtext layered on subtext.
Lt. Reed: Oh, if only Dr. Cochrane had been a European, the Vulcans would have been far less reticent to help us. But no, he had to be from Montana.

[Reed is recording another letter to a former relationship]
Lt. Reed: "My dearest Rochelle. By this time, I'm certain you've learned of the tragedy..."
Commander Tucker: Wouldn't it be easier just to record one message and then add the "dear whoever" afterward? This is your fifth or sixth identical letter!
Lt. Reed: That's not true. There've been subtle differences. I would never refer to Rochelle as having a "beautiful smile".

[Tucker is complaining about the "pessimism" in Reed's log entry]
Lt. Reed: If there's something you need me to do, I will be more than happy to comply. But I'm afraid, 'pessimism' is simply not an accurate description of my log entry. I'm just being realistic, Commander.

Lt. Reed: I lost nearly everyone I cared about on that ship. Those girls I talked about - Rochelle, Deborah, Caitlin - none of them worked out, because I could... never get very close to them. Never got very close to my family either, for that matter. Not that it's any business of yours. But with the crew of the Enterprise it was different. I was really starting to feel... comfortable with them. And now the only one that's left thinks I'm the bloody Angel of Death.

[Tucker is indulging in reminiscences about a long lost love]
Commander Tucker: Ah, Ruby... Whatever happened to you?
Lt. Reed: Ruby? You don't mean the waitress Ruby?
Commander Tucker: You knew Ruby?
Lt. Reed: Uh... I knew her more times than I can remember.
Commander Tucker: Ouch!

Lt. Reed: Ever hold your breath for eleven hours?

[Reed tries to prevent Tucker from sacrificing himself, threatening him with a phase pistol]
Commander Tucker: What're you gonna do, kill me?
Lt. Reed: It's set to stun. I don't want to use it. But I will.
Commander Tucker: Put it down!
Lt. Reed: Go to hell!
Commander Tucker: Stop trying to be a hero. It doesn't suit ya!
Lt. Reed: What would you know about being a hero? It takes nothing but a coward to crawl up inside a hole to die!
Commander Tucker: Then go ahead and shoot me. But you better hope we don't make it, because if we survive, the first think I'm gonna do is bust your ass back to crewman second class for insubordination!
Lt. Reed: Be my guest! I could use a little less responsibility! Now... get down here!
Commander Tucker: Who the hell do you think you are?
Lt. Reed: Your Armory Officer, and perhaps your friend.
Commander Tucker: Friends don't shoot each other!
Lt. Reed: D'you know, I'm not a doctor; but I'm pretty sure you use up a lot more oxygen, WHEN YOU SHOUT LIKE THAT!

Lt. Reed: This is like the plane flying over the desert island in a lost-at-sea movie!
[when Tucker and Reed are picking up a transmission without being able to respond]

Lt. Reed: Rendezvous! What a beautiful word!

[the shuttlepod's navigation is down]
Commander Tucker: You come from a long line of navy men and you got a real good memory. Look hard at those stars, find something that looks familiar, and tell me which way to go!
Lt. Reed: Sir...
Commander Tucker: That's an order!
Lt. Reed: I don't suppose you have a sextant handy?
Commander Tucker: ...I left it with my slide rule.

[Reed has suggested to jettison their impulse drive and blow it up, to send Enterprise a signal]
Commander Tucker: I can't blow up our engine. We'd be adrift, dead in space.
Lt. Reed: What's the difference between that and traveling at a snail's pace?

Lt. Reed: How does it feel to be slower than a snail?
[after jettisoning their impulse drive]

Lt. Reed: I was just beginning to think that Captain Archer was invincible, you know? Just serving on the same starship as him made me feel safe for some reason. He had a knack for getting us out of trouble, didn't he?
Commander Tucker: Yeah, he's always been that way. When I first taught him to dive, it really got on my nerves. He'd come down to the Keys at least once a month, and whatever it was I was teaching him, he'd get it the first time. Did you ever try clearing your mask?
Lt. Reed: Clear my mask?
Commander Tucker: Everybody's got to do it before they get certified. You go down and the instructor fills your mask with water, and you have to clear it by blowing out through your nose. Nobody likes to do it.
Lt. Reed: The Captain?
Commander Tucker: Got it the first time. Filled it with water a second time just so he could clear it again. I took him on a night dive once into some caves I'd been to a hundred times before, and for some reason I got a little lost. So what does Archer do? He swims ahead of me and finds a way out.
Lt. Reed: I can't imagine why you'd have a problem with that.
Commander Tucker: I was the instructor. I'd been diving all my life. Then big Mister Starfleet comes down and does everything faster and better than I could. That's when I decided to introduce him to old Waldo.
Lt. Reed: And who was that?
Commander Tucker: A green moray. It's said he's thirty years old. Must've been two-and-a-half meters long. So I took the Captain into Waldo's hole. Told him there was some beautiful starfish inside, and he reached in. Damned if old Waldo didn't take hold of his forearm.
Lt. Reed: A moray eel? Are you out of your mind?
Commander Tucker: I was breaking just about every rule in the book, but he was wearing titanium mesh. I figured the worst thing that could happen would be that Waldo would scare him a little. He deserved to have the piss taken out of him.
Lt. Reed: So?
Commander Tucker: No such luck. He pulled Waldo clear out of the hole. I don't think I'd ever seen that eel's tail before. He found some pressure point under it's lower jaw, right about here. Waldo just let go. Went back down his hole.
Lt. Reed: That must have been the last time the Captain ever went diving with you.
Commander Tucker: That's the thing. He found it all funnier than I did. He took me out to dinner that night. Steaks, lobsters...
[sighs sadly]
Commander Tucker: Kentucky bourbon.

Lt. Reed: If there's one chance in a thousand that they saw our impulse drive explode, that they increased their speed, I'll take that chance. I've invested far too much time trying to figure you out, Mr. Tucker. I'm not about to accept that it was all for nothing.

[last lines]
Lt. Reed: Trip? Mind if I call you Trip? Sleep well, my friend.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Minefield (#2.3)" (2002)
Captain Jonathan Archer: Thought you might need a hand.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Actually, I'd prefer a leg.

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: I would consider letting you amputate; but if Chef got hold of it, he'd be serving roast Reed for Sunday dinner.

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: I hope that's an anesthetic.
Captain Jonathan Archer: Phlox's own recipe.
[Archer injects Reed with the pain killer. It has an obvious calming effect on Reed]
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Please, sir, may I have some more?

Captain Jonathan Archer: Our "friends" seem to be anxious for us to leave. We're going to break orbit, nice and slowly.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: [outside on Enterprise's hull] Understood. If you plan to go to warp, sir... you'll let me know?
Captain Jonathan Archer: I'll try to remember.

Captain Jonathan Archer: You're afraid of the water?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: More precisely, afraid of drowning.

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: I'm afraid we have another problem, sir.
Captain Jonathan Archer: What? What is it?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: I need to use the bathroom.

Captain Jonathan Archer: If I were the kind of captain you think I should be, I'd bust your ass back to crewman.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Begging your pardon, sir, but if you were that kind of captain, we wouldn't be having this conversation.

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: If you must know, I was honored to be asked to sit at your table. I just wasn't entirely comfortable having a casual meal with my Captain. I was trained not to fraternize with superior officers.
Captain Jonathan Archer: Never too late to learn.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Frankly, sir, from my point of view, that kind of socializing has no place on a starship.
Captain Jonathan Archer: I had a C.O. once - felt the same way. "They're your crew, not your friends." I thought about that a lot when I took this command. But then I realized, this is not your typical mission. We could be out here for years. All we have to depend on is each other.

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Captain... Those heroics we spoke about... I think it may be time.

Captain Jonathan Archer: I'm not leaving till we take this weapon offline.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Sir...
Captain Jonathan Archer: The way I see it, you don't have much choice. You're sort of stuck here.

Captain Jonathan Archer: So, where were we?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Sir?
Captain Jonathan Archer: This morning, at breakfast, before we were interrupted. You said... you didn't follow any particular sport?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Well, I'm afraid I haven't started following one since breakfast, sir.

[the situation seems hopeless]
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: I'd prefer a burial at sea - if I'm not completely vaporized.
Captain Jonathan Archer: I thought you were afraid of the water.

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: If I may say so, sir, your style of command does have its advantages.
[after Archer has rescued him with an unconventional maneuver]

[last lines]
Captain Jonathan Archer: So, how long was it?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: I counted ten seconds.
Captain Jonathan Archer: Ten? It was more like twenty.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Respectfully, sir, it was ten.
Captain Jonathan Archer: I'm not gonna argue with you, Malcolm. It was twenty. That's an order.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Observer Effect (#4.11)" (2005)
[Tucker and Sato have contracted a deadly virus]
Alien inhabiting Ens. Mayweather: I studied your report on how the Klingons reacted to the infection.
Alien inhabiting Lt. Reed: Their response was typical for a species at their level of development.
Alien inhabiting Ens. Mayweather: The Klingon commander didn't let his landing party back on his ship.
Alien inhabiting Lt. Reed: Your point?
Alien inhabiting Ens. Mayweather: Captain Archer did.
Alien inhabiting Lt. Reed: Captain Archer's done nothing different from the Klingons. The launch bay and decon chamber are completely isolated from the rest of the ship.
Alien inhabiting Ens. Mayweather: So it doesn't matter if an infected landing party comes aboard.
Alien inhabiting Lt. Reed: Precisely. Humans don't want to interact with dying crewmates any more than Klingons did. If it was left to me, I'd stop our observations immediately. We have nothing more to learn from Humans.
Alien inhabiting Ens. Mayweather: Oh, I don't know. They're showing concern for each other. The Cardassians did that when they were here, didn't they?
Alien inhabiting Lt. Reed: Ah, but in the end they killed their infected crew, just as the Klingons did. The only difference is the time it took to reach that decision.
Alien inhabiting Ens. Mayweather: Maybe the Humans will surprise us.

[Archer, "Reed" and "Mayweather" are reviewing scans in the command center]
Captain Jonathan Archer: I've heard from Starfleet. They're working through diplomatic channels to contact the Klingons; but it might not be necessary. This spectrograph identifies a Klingon alloy.
Alien inhabiting Lt. Reed: That's the signature of standard hull plating.
Captain Jonathan Archer: [indicates one of the planet's rings] I found it... here.
Alien inhabiting Ens. Mayweather: You've detected a debris cloud in orbit.
Captain Jonathan Archer: It's what's left of a Klingon shuttlecraft. Their response to an infected landing party: the commander killed his own shuttle crew.
Alien inhabiting Lt. Reed: They didn't even plead for mercy.
[Archer gives him a quizzical look]
Alien inhabiting Lt. Reed: I mean, they wouldn't, would they? Being Klingon.
Alien inhabiting Ens. Mayweather: Captain, does knowing what the Klingons did help us at all?
Captain Jonathan Archer: At least we know we don't have to bother asking them if they have a cure.
Alien inhabiting Ens. Mayweather: But if they had developed one, you'd ask them for it, right?
Captain Jonathan Archer: On bended knee.

[first lines]
["Reed" and "Mayweather" are playing chess]
Alien inhabiting Ens. Mayweather: You win in eight moves.
Alien inhabiting Lt. Reed: You're really starting to get a feel for the game.
Alien inhabiting Ens. Mayweather: 32 pieces, 64 squares - it's not as if it's difficult. Total number of possible outcomes is limited.
Alien inhabiting Lt. Reed: Ten to the 123rd power.
Alien inhabiting Ens. Mayweather: That's what I mean. Chess is so predictable. I'm surprised anyone bothers to play it.

Alien inhabiting Lt. Reed: Someone always dies.

Alien inhabiting Ens. Mayweather: How many have to die before you'll admit Humans are different? We need to stop this!
Alien inhabiting Lt. Reed: I will not depart from protocol. The incident isn't over. When the first death occurs on a ship, there's a 68% chance the rest of the crew will become infected.
Alien inhabiting Ens. Mayweather: What more will that teach us about them?
Alien inhabiting Lt. Reed: All this would've happened whether we were here or not. We are not responsible.
Alien inhabiting Ens. Mayweather: Maybe we should be.

[last lines]
Alien inhabiting Lt. Reed: These Humans have not been a good influence on you. I would not encourage further encounters.
Alien inhabiting Ens. Mayweather: I don't think we can avoid them. I'm going to recommend that we start preparations for an official first contact mission.
Alien inhabiting Lt. Reed: Indeed. At the rate they're progressing, that will barely give us 5,000 years to prepare.
Alien inhabiting Ens. Mayweather: Then we'd better get started.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Future Tense (#2.16)" (2003)
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: If Daniels came here and offered you a chance to go to the 31st century - you wouldn't take it?
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Some things are better left to mystery.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: And you called yourself an explorer.
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Where is the fun in exploring if you know how it all turns out?

Ensign Travis Mayweather: [of the mysterious traveler] We're more than thirty light years from the nearest trade route. I don't see how he could have made it out this far.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Maybe he got a ride from someone.
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: That's got to be a world record for hitchhiking.

Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Suppose you could look into some... future book, find out the name of the woman you're gonna marry. Would you wanna know it?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Absolutely. Think of all the awkward first dates I could avoid.
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Fine. So, one day you meet Jane Doe. You go out a few times, and you pop the question. She says 'I do', and the two of you live happily ever after.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Sounds perfect.
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Now - did you marry her for love... or because some book told you to?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Well, if we're happily ever after, what difference does it make?

Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Now, if I had a chance to see the past, I'd jump at it. I always wanted to meet a stegosaurus.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: He'd probably make a quick meal of you.
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: The stegosaurus was an herbivore.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: If I could travel back in time, I know exactly what year I'd pick: 1588.
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: What happened in 1588?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: England defeated the Spanish Armada.
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Oh, I'm sure someone named Reed had a lot to do with that.
[Trip and Malcolm pull a piece off the ship. Time rewinds and they re-enter the room]
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: If I had a chance to see the past, I'd jump at it. I always wanted to meet a stegosaurus.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: He'd probably make a quick meal of you.
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: The stegosaurus was an herbivore.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: It seems like we were just in here...
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: [dismissing the thought] If I could travel back, I know exactly what year I'd pick.
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III, Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: 1588.
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: How'd I know you were gonna say that?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: I think we're spending far too much time together.
[Trip and Malcolm pull a piece off the ship. Time rewinds and they re-enter the room]
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Now, if I had a chance to see the past, I'd jump at it.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: I always wanted to meet a stegosaurus.
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: He'd probably make a... quick meal of you.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Stegosaurus was a herbivore...

[the retrieved vessel turns out to be bigger on the inside than the outside]
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: This gives 'space' exploration a whole new meaning.

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: I never thought I'd be glad to see the Suliban.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Sleeping Dogs (#1.14)" (2002)
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: We can travel faster than the speed of light. You'd think we could find a cure for the common cold.
Dr. Phlox: You should be grateful a Human cold is so mild. I once had a patient with the, er, Kamaraazite flu. He sneezed so violently, he nearly regurgitated his pineal gland.

[Sato has performed some target practice]
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Your hit-to-miss ratio is still below fifty percent. If those had been live rounds, you'd have blown out two or three bulkheads.

Ensign Hoshi Sato: [trying to decipher the Klingon consoles] "pu'DaH... dak cha" - something they call 'photon torpedoes'.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Photon torpedoes? Never heard of anything like that.

[an alarm has gone off]
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Hoshi?
Ensign Hoshi Sato: It says the pressure's failing in the... j'khat bah - fusion manifold. Do you know what that means?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: To quote our very own Mr. Tucker: it means we're dead 'n the water.

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Ah, the one time we need our Chief Engineer... is the one time we leave him behind.

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: We'll be on our way back well before we're in any danger. I for one have no interest in imploding a valuable shuttlepod.
Ensign Hoshi Sato: Or three valuable officers.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Proving Ground (#3.13)" (2004)
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: What's the situation in Engineering?
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Bad. The Armory?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Worse.

Lieutenant Talas: You don't trust me.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: No offense, but when it comes to our weapons frequencies, I wouldn't trust my own mother.
Lieutenant Talas: Is your mother considered a security risk?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: It's... just an expression.
Lieutenant Talas: An odd one. My mother's security clearance is higher than mine.

Lieutenant Talas: For what it's worth, Lieutenant, I'm not here to steal your secrets. It'd hardly be worth the effort.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: I beg your pardon?
Lieutenant Talas: Last time I saw weapons like these was during my early tactical training.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Sorry I wasted your time on our "primitive" systems.
Lieutenant Talas: Not at all. I found it nostalgic.

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: You come from a military family?
Lieutenant Talas: Four generations.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Huh... Three. On my father's side.
Lieutenant Talas: He must be disappointed in you.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: What?
Lieutenant Talas: Betraying your family tradition by serving on a ship of... exploration.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Actually, we haven't done much exploring for quite a while. But since you ask... he wasn't very pleased. The Royal Navy was his life.
Lieutenant Talas: Perhaps he'd feel differently if he saw you now - fighting for the survival of your race.

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: If you ever decide to leave the Imperial Guard, Starfleet could certainly use you.
Lieutenant Talas: And if you get tired of exploring, you'd do well in the Imperial Guard.

Lieutenant Talas: [of Enterprise] I'd take this ship into combat myself.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Even with our primitive weapons?
Lieutenant Talas: It's not the weapon. It's the soldier who wields it.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Divergence (#4.16)" (2005)
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Hold her steady, Travis, or Chef will know who to blame for the mess in the galley.
[as Mayweather makes warp field contact with Columbia]

[Marab has thrown his plate of food away]
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: What did they give you?
Marab: It's dead, I can't eat that. No wonder you're all so weak.

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: General Sun Tzu said that the greatest victories are those won without fighting.
Marab: The great Kahless said there's no victory without combat.

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Do you ever... question why you fight?
Marab: Soldiers don't question, they obey.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: What if your superiors are wrong?
Marab: They're imprisoned - or killed.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: That's not how we do things in Starfleet.
Marab: Which is why the Klingon Empire will defeat you.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Then how come... you're in the same brig that I'm in?

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: I wanted to tell you everything, Captain.
Captain Jonathan Archer: There's a way out of this. I don't have to put you back in the brig, but you have to choose where your loyalties lie.

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: I answer to one commanding officer: Jonathan Archer.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Terra Prime (#4.21)" (2005)
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: [after landing on Mars] 32!
Dr. Phlox: Hmm?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: This is the 32nd planet I've set foot on.
Dr. Phlox: [chuckles] 248!

Harris: No one can get within a thousand kilometers of the verteron array without being detected.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: And you're going to tell me how.
Harris: What makes you think I even have that information?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Because your section routinely thinks about the unthinkable, and because you'd never miss a chance to put me in your debt.
Harris: You're a good judge of character.

Harris: If Archer's coalition is formed, Enterprise could be busier than ever.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Indeed. Well... then I imagine this'll be the last time we meet.
Harris: Always the optimist.

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Well, that was fun. Can we do it again?
[after flying through the collision of a comet with Mars]

Dr. Phlox: [as Malcolm experiences motion sickness during the ride in the comet's tail] Would you like me to give you something?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: No, I've already had the maximum dosage.
Dr. Phlox: Here's a bag.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Rogue Planet (#1.18)" (2002)
[the Enterprise away team is exploring a dark jungle planet]
Capt. Jonathan Archer: This reminds me of the rain forest in New Zealand. I earned my Wilderness merit badge there.
Lt. Malcolm Reed: You were a Boy Scout, sir?
Capt. Jonathan Archer: [with pride] I was an Eagle Scout!
Lt. Malcolm Reed: Oh. So was I.
Capt. Jonathan Archer: Really? How many merit badges?
Lt. Malcolm Reed: 28. You?
Capt. Jonathan Archer: 26.
Lt. Malcolm Reed: Ah... that's not bad, sir.

Lt. Malcolm Reed: I'm picking up a power signature near the equator. There's a ship down there.
Capt. Jonathan Archer: Try to hail them.
Ensign Hoshi Sato: No response.
Cmdr. Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Maybe they wanna be left alone. A single ship on a dark planet? Maybe they're on their honeymoon.

[the away team has detected the location of the alien vessel in the jungle]
Lt. Malcolm Reed: Follow me.
Capt. Jonathan Archer: Why don't you let me play captain for a while, Malcolm?

[the explorers come across a fluorescent centipede-like creature]
Capt. Jonathan Archer: We spot any more creatures like that and we'll earn our Exobiology badges.
Lt. Malcolm Reed: Actually, I already have that one.

[Tucker and Reed are preparing to go camping on the planet]
Cmdr. Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: If the bugs glow in the dark, at least you can tell when they crawl into your sleeping bag.
Ensign Hoshi Sato: One more reason I am happy to spend the night in my own bunk. Anyway, it's the things you can't see that I'd be worried about.
Lt. Malcolm Reed: Like those bore worms.
Cmdr. Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Bore worms?
Ensign Hoshi Sato: Apparently they crawl into your ear to lay their eggs. Have a nice night!

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Broken Bow: Part 1 (#1.1)" (2001)
Ensign Travis Mayweather: [about the transporter] I heard this platform's been approved for bio-transport.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: I presume you mean fruits and vegetables.
Ensign Travis Mayweather: I mean Armory officers and helmsmen.

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: No doubt Mr. Tucker will reassure me that my equipment will be here tomorrow. "Keep your shirt on, Lieutenant."

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Pardon me, but if I don't realign the deflector, the first grain of space dust we come across will blow a hole through this ship the size of your fist.
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Keep your shirt on, Lieutenant. Your equipment'll be here in the morning.

[Klaang has been abducted out of sickbay by Suliban, a stealth-capable race]
Capt. Jonathan Archer: We've got state-of-the-art sensors. Why the hell didn't we detect them?
Ensign Travis Mayweather: Mr. Reed thought he detected something right before we lost power.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: The starboard sensor logs recorded a spatial disturbance.
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Looks more like a glitch.
Ensign Hoshi Sato: Those weren't glitches in sickbay.

Ensign Travis Mayweather: I can't isolate Human bio-signs. They could be anywhere in the complex.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Try Vulcan bio-signs.
[at that moment, there is a knock on the shuttlepod's window - from T'Pol]
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: I found her!

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Two Days and Two Nights (#1.25)" (2002)
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: What should we drink to?
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: To us - and... to a well-earned two days and two nights.

[Tucker and Reed are on Risa looking for potential female companions]
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: What about that one?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: [scoffs] Now I know you've been cooped up on a starship for too long.
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Now, what's wrong with her?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Well, nothing, I suppose. I just wouldn't know which eyes to look into.
[they laugh]
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Now, *she's* interesting.
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: I don't think 'she' is the right pronoun. Hm? But if you think it's worth the risk...
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: I don't know, maybe I should've brought my scanner with me.

[Tucker and Reed are chatting to two ladies]
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Why don't you tell them about the time you saved Enterprise... in your underwear?
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Yeah, I saved the Captain's life.
Latia Female: I thought you were the captain.
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: We rotate. He's captain next week.

[Tucker and Reed are tied up in the club's basement]
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Wonderful!
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: You think this is *my* fault?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: You were willing to follow two strange aliens into a basement.
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Gorgeous aliens! Don't forget, they were gorgeous!
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: They were male!
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Not at first!

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: You look rested, sir. Did you get a good night's sleep?
Captain Jonathan Archer: Went out like a light.
[after being knocked out by Keyla for the whole past night]

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Countdown (#3.23)" (2004)
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Six vessels approaching, sir. All Aquatic.
Xindi-Primate Councilor: *That* was remarkably fast!

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: [to the MACOs] We've got less than ten hours before this weapon reaches Earth. The Captain wants to take a team aboard to destroy it. I don't imagine the Reptilians will make this easy for us. But that's why you're here. That's why Major Hayes picked each one of you for this mission - because he knew you'd get the job done.

[Archer, Reed and some MACOs are about to take up pursuit of the Xindi weapon in Degra's ship]
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Malcolm, hang on! Bring me back a piece of that weapon - a souvenir.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: With pleasure.

Major Hayes: When we first came aboard Enterprise, we definitely felt like outsiders.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: If I contributed to that, I apologize...
Major Hayes: My point is, none of us feel that way anymore. We're all part of the same crew, no matter which uniform we wear. Don't worry about Ensign Sato. We'll bring her home.

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Thank you, for bringing her home.
Major Hayes: All in a day's work.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Harbinger (#3.15)" (2004)
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: And why were you giving Amanda Cole neuro-pressure anyway?
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: What's it to you?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Well, from what I'm told, it's a pretty intimate procedure - for 'just friends'.
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: I do it with T'Pol. Are you implying there's something going on there as well?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: That's the rumor.
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Look - for the last time: there's nothin' going on with any of us - between any of us.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Right. You're all... just friends.
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: That's right.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Huh... I guess this Vulcan neuro-pressure isn't that intimate after all.
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Exactly.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: In that case... I've a nasty little pain just...
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Just drop it!

Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: That target practice was somethin'. Sure looked a lot easier than it was.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: You don't say.
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Ah, come on. Your score got a lot better as the session went on.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: I started picturing Hayes's head in place of the target.
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: You two really ought to declare a truce.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Oh, no. This is a fight to the death.

[Reed and Hayes are in the middle of a heavy fight, when a surprised crewman passes by]
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: As you were.
[continues fighting]

[during the interrogation, Archer is called away, leaving Reed and Hayes in his ready room]
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: [still standing at attention] Think we're dismissed?

Captain Jonathan Archer: Dr.Phlox says you have a detached retina. A bruised left kidney. We're in a dangerous region of space. We're trying to stop an alien race from destroying earth, we face attacks from all sides, enemies everywhere we go. The last thing I need to hear is that two of my senior officers have been admitted to sick bay because they suddenly regressed to the level of five-year-olds!
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Captain...
Captain Jonathan Archer: Don't try to tell me who started it! I don't know what the problem is between you two, and to tell you the truth I don't care, but I want it settled right now! SETTLE IT! That's an order!
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: There's no problem, Captain.
Major Hayes: It's settled, sir.
Captain Jonathan Archer: How are the drills going?
Major Hayes: Good, sir.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Very good, sir.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: [Captain called away by Dr. Phlox] Think we're dismissed?
Major Hayes: [Looks uncertain]

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Dead Stop (#2.4)" (2002)
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: It can't be ethical to cause a patient this much pain.
Dr. Phlox: It's unethical to harm a patient; I can inflict as much pain as I like.

Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: We're explorers. Where's your spirit of adventure?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: I left it in a Romulan minefield.

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: [on the device that is treating his leg] Are you sure this thing knows what it's doing?
Dr. Phlox: That's the third time you've asked.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: You didn't answer me the first two times.

Dr. Phlox: The wound might heal faster if you'd allow me to apply a few more Regulan bloodworms.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: You're not putting any more of those things inside my leg. You still haven't found the last one.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Babel One (#4.12)" (2005)
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: So, I understand our First Officer's no longer married.
Cmdr. Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Yeah...?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: I was wondering what your intentions were.
Cmdr. Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Well, who are you, her father?

Cmdr. Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: There's nothing going on between us anymore, if you're interested.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: That's not why I asked.
Cmdr. Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Well, you said she had an awfully nice bum.

[while on board an alien ship, Reed has lost most of his air supply]
Cmdr. Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: I'll try to get their life support online.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Right. With our luck, they probably breathe fluorine.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Detained (#1.21)" (2002)
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: [to Mayweather] Congratulations, Ensign. Your case is about to be dismissed.

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: [disguised as a Suliban] Tell the Doctor to meet us in sickbay. My skin is really starting to itch.

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: [on Mayweather's battered face] You look worse than I do.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: The Communicator (#2.8)" (2002)
[Lt. Reed has lost his communicator on the planet of a pre-warp civilization]
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Captain... my carelessness was inexcusable. I'm prepared for whatever reprimand you feel is appropriate.
Captain Jonathan Archer: How about 30 years in the brig? Or maybe a good flogging?

[Archer and Reed are thinking about ways of escaping from the prison they are held in]
Captain Jonathan Archer: An upset stomach? Do you really think he'd fall for that?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Well, it may be an old trick where we come from; but maybe they haven't heard of it here.

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: It's ironic. Giving our lives, to protect people who wanna kill us!

"Star Trek: Enterprise: The Catwalk (#2.12)" (2002)
[the crew is watching a western movie]
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Did that guy shoot one of his own men?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: It's hard to tell them apart in those ridiculous hats.
Sub-Commander T'Pol: The dead man was secretly working for Sheriff Boggs.
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: How do you know that?
Sub-Commander T'Pol: Isn't it obvious?

Dr. Phlox: There's a notation in your medical file, something about a, an unfortunate incident during zero G training?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: The EV-simulator at Lunaport, or, as Starfleet trainees call it, the 'Vomitorium'.

[the senior officers are playing cards with rather crude antes]
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: I see your strawberry shortcake... and I'll raise you... one pineapple cobbler.
[he puts a small package in the middle of the table, as does Ensign Sato]
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Broccoli?
Ensign Hoshi Sato: I'm out of desserts.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Bound (#4.17)" (2005)
[Harrad-Sar has scantily-clad Orion slave girls brought in for Archer's and Reed's entertainment]
Harrad-Sar: What do you think?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: [fascinated] I can't think.
Harrad-Sar: Captain?
Captain Jonathan Archer: I'd have to agree with my Tactical Officer.

[Mayweather is lifting heavy weights to forget about the Orion women]
Ensign Travis Mayweather: When I was on my parents' ship, we picked up some Deltans once. Their ship was having engine trouble.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: I don't know that species.
Ensign Travis Mayweather: The females are unbelievably attractive. Very open about...
[he succumbs to the strain]
Ensign Travis Mayweather: I was fifteen. I couldn't think straight. Could barely breathe. Only thing that got me through it was weight training with my dad. He said if I was exhausted, idle hands and all that.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Well, did it help?
Ensign Travis Mayweather: Helped my biceps.

Commander T'Pol: At least we've learned something about the Orions.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Yeah, the women are in charge!
Commander T'Pol: It proves that even the most disagreeable species have some... positive attributes.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Vox Sola (#1.22)" (2002)
Ensign Travis Mayweather: Are you staying for the movie tonight?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: What's playing?
Ensign Travis Mayweather: Uh, 'Wages of Fear' - classic French film.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: [unconvinced] Mmm...
Ensign Travis Mayweather: No, you'll like it. Things blow up.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Hm - sounds fun.

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Reed to bridge.
Bridge Personnel: Go ahead, Lieutenant.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: We're trying to watch a movie down here, but instead we're being treated to a view of you. So unless you're planning on giving us a little song and dance, maybe you could see what's gone wrong.

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: I'm sure I don't have to remind you, Doctor, I am the ranking officer here.
Dr. Phlox: Not in my sickbay. Unless the Captain says otherwise.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: The Captain is in no condition to offer an opinion!
Dr. Phlox: Precisely.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Damage (#3.19)" (2004)
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: I really don't know what's holding us together. But let's hope it doesn't give out.

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: We've run out of moons to hide behind.

Cpt. Archer: Put together an armed boarding party.
Lt. Reed: Who are we boarding, sir?
Cpt. Archer: The alien ship we docked with.
Lt. Reed: I don't understand.
Cpt. Archer: We need their warp coil. They won't give it to us, so we're going to have to take it.
Lt. Reed: Captain...
Cpt. Archer: Get your men together!

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Vanishing Point (#2.10)" (2002)
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: You can do it, Ensign. It's as easy as one, two... three.

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Welcome to the club.
[after Sato has rematerialized on the transporter pad]

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Silent Enemy (#1.12)" (2002)
[an alien vessel has approached Enterprise but moved off again without making contact]
Sub-Commander T'Pol: I wouldn't take offense. Not every species has motives that can be understood in Human terms.
Ensign Travis Mayweather: Maybe they checked us out and decided we weren't very interesting.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Us? Not interesting?

[last lines]
[Reed is cutting his birthday cake]
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Pineapple! That's my fav...
[stunned, he looks at the others]
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: How on Earth did you know?
Ensign Hoshi Sato: We have our sources.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: The Andorian Incident (#1.7)" (2001)
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: I don't take orders from a comm-voice, Ensign. Not unless that voice belongs to the Captain.

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: [after Archer has knocked down one of the monks] Violence in a sanctuary, Captain?
Captain Jonathan Archer: Very disrespectful. Boy, did it feel good.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: United (#4.13)" (2005)
[Reed has caused a power shutdown of the drone ship]
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: You did all this with one phase pistol?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: You're good at building things, I'm good at blowing them up.

[Tucker has reprimanded Reed for disobeying a direct order]
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: I apologize for saving your life, Commander. It won't happen again.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Regeneration (#2.23)" (2003)
Sub-Commander T'Pol: They're disrupting our plasma network. Main power is failing.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: We're losing weapons.
Captain Jonathan Archer: They set us up.
Ensign Hoshi Sato: They're hailing us. Audio only.
Captain Jonathan Archer: This is Captain...
The Borg (voice): You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: What sort of people would replace perfectly good body parts with cybernetic implants?
Dr. Phlox: You of all people should be open-minded about technology.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: I don't have a problem with it... as long as it stays outside of my skin.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Affliction (#4.15)" (2005)
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Phlox is my friend. Do you know where he is?
Harris: We have an assignment for you.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: I wasn't aware that I was still a part of your section.
Harris: There's a job that needs doing, Lieutenant. It may be the only way to save your friend's life.

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: I'm being compromised, sir. And I don't like it.
Harris: Then I suggest you adjust your comfort level, Lieutenant.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: The Breach (#2.21)" (2003)
[Reed, Tucker and Mayweather are examining the entrance of a cave]
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: What have you got?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Nothing... but three Humans, one of which is not entirely convinced we're going in the right direction.
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Uh, make that two.

[Tucker and Reed have to leave Mayweather behind after he got injured while climbing in a cave]
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Thanks for getting us this far.
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: You'll be all right.
Ensign Travis Mayweather: Respectfully, sir - it's not me that I'm worried about.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Singularity (#2.9)" (2002)
[Reed is searching for a name for his security protocol, while Tucker is working on a design for Archer's chair]
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Do you think a cup-holder's too much?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: I beg your pardon?
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: For the Captain's chair. He just wanted the seat adjusted, but I figured, as long as I'm working on it...
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Just what the Captain needs in a crisis - a place to rest his beverage.
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: I'm also upgrading the status displays. He'll be able to access tactical data from the armrest.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: If you really want to improve tactical readiness, why don't you help me with this protocol?
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: I'm a little busy right now, Malcolm.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: It's a chair!
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: It's the Captain's chair! It's just as important as your... Reed alert.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: 'Reed alert' - that's not bad...

[Reed has given Tucker two options for his new alert signal]
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Which do you prefer?
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: For what?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: A tactical alert!
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: They both sound like a bag full of cats.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: The Shipment (#3.7)" (2003)
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Congratulations, sir. Three months ago, we entered the Expanse with no idea who these Xindi were, or how to find them. And now we're about to destroy one of their weapons facilities.
Captain Jonathan Archer: I thought we were here to try and stop a war, not start one.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: They struck first.
Captain Jonathan Archer: Because they were told we're going to attack *them*. They think they're acting in self-defense. By destroying this complex, we'll be confirming their worst fears about Humanity.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Let's not forget the seven million people who were killed.

[Archer is flying a shuttle with ionized hull through the atmosphere of a planet]
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: If anyone sees us, they'll think we're a meteor.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: The Crossing (#2.18)" (2003)
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Captain, look at this. The atmosphere is changing: 76% nitrogen, 21% oxygen.
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Somebody seems to know what we like to breathe.

Captain Jonathan Archer: I want those weapons back online too.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: I'll see what I can do.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Fortunate Son (#1.10)" (2001)
[Reed and Phlox are under fire]
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Get down!
Dr. Phlox: Under the circumstances, I defer to your experience.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Cogenitor (#2.22)" (2003)
Veylo, Vissian Tactical Officer: Can we visit the Armory later? I'm anxious to see your tactical array.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: There's an old Earth expression: I'll show you mine if... you show me yours.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: The Xindi (#3.1)" (2003)
[Enterprise has received a lead on a Xindi from a freighter captain]
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: With all due respect, sir, we should approach with caution. The freighter captain was of... questionable character.
Captain Jonathan Archer: Where are we, Malcolm?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Sir?
Captain Jonathan Archer: This room, what did it use to be?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: A s-storage bay, sir. Conduit housings, I believe.
Captain Jonathan Archer: But it got retrofitted. Starfleet went to a lot of trouble to turn it into our new command center. Why is that, Malcolm?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Because of our mission, sir.
Captain Jonathan Archer: To find the Xindi, right?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Right.
Captain Jonathan Archer: So this state-of-the-art equipment was put in here to help us gather all the pieces of the puzzle. Figure out who's trying to destroy Earth.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Right.
Captain Jonathan Archer: Six weeks. We've been in this Expanse for six weeks. What data have we gathered? What pieces of the puzzle have we started to put together? Not a single one. We don't have the luxury of being safe or cautious anymore. And if the only lead we can find comes from a freighter captain of questionable character, then that's good enough for me. Understood?

"Star Trek: Enterprise: The Aenar (#4.14)" (2005)
[Reed is concerned because Archer and Shran intend to visit the Aenar without a security detail]
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Captain, we don't know anything about these people.
Captain Jonathan Archer: That's why we're here.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Horizon (#2.20)" (2003)
Ensign Travis Mayweather: Starfleet really ought to think about putting families on starships.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: You must be joking.
Ensign Travis Mayweather: No one would ever get homesick.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Yes... Well, they'd better post a psychologist on board, because I'd need one if my parents were roaming the corridors.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Desert Crossing (#1.24)" (2002)
[Zobral is refusing to help find Archer and Tucker in the desert]
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: You're the one who got our people stranded down there.
Zobral: They are not *my* responsibility!
Sub-Commander T'Pol: You're mistaken. The Torothans believe we've joined your cause. If Captain Archer and Commander Tucker are apprehended, they'll undoubtedly be treated as members of your clan. They'll become victims of the same oppression you've been fighting all these years. You should feel as responsible for those two men as you do for your own.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Extinction (#3.3)" (2003)
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Have you got anything for my stomach? Chef's food isn't sitting too well.
Dr. Phlox: Till your digestive tract is fully restored, you may want to avoid the mess hall.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: What do you suggest I eat?
Dr. Phlox: You're welcome to some of the moth larvae I feed to my Pyrithian bat.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: These Are the Voyages... (#4.22)" (2005)
Cmdr. C. 'Trip' Tucker (hologr.): Been a hell of a run, Malcolm. I never thought it would come to an end.
Lt. Malcolm Reed (hologram): All good things.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Demons (#4.20)" (2005)
Harris: The child belongs to two of your crewmen. You tell me.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: They claim they know nothing about it.
Harris: That doesn't seem likely, does it?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: I believe them.
Harris: I admire your loyalty.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Twilight (#3.8)" (2003)
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: We've taken nine prisoners, but the brig was only designed for two. I'm not sure what to do with the others.
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Blow 'em out the airlock.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Fallen Hero (#1.23)" (2002)
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: You really enjoy this, don't you?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Replacing power couplings? Hardly.
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: No, I mean, having people shoot at us.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: If you must know, I much prefer the shooting-back part.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Anomaly (#3.2)" (2003)
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: You finished rewriting the physics books?
Cmdr. Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: I don't think I'll be taking home the Nobel Prize any time soon.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Storm Front: Part 1 (#4.1)" (2004)
[Silik has escaped from Enterprise in a shuttlepod]
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Thing I can't understand - why'd he go to the trouble of saving my life? He pulled me out of the launch bay before he depressurized it.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Another item on our list of things to ponder.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Shadows of P'Jem (#1.15)" (2002)
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Sir, I've got a rescue team standing by in the launch bay.
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Hold on, Malcolm. We don't even know if this is our pod. I don't wanna go down and find it's some... alien tractor.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Zero Hour (#3.24)" (2004)
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: It's done.
Sub-Commander T'Pol: Done?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Captain Archer destroyed the weapon.
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Where is he? Is he okay?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Captain didn't make it, Trip.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Stigma (#2.14)" (2003)
[Tucker is wondering whether to talk to Dr. Phlox about Feezal's advances]
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: It might be a lot easier to avoid her advances than get Phlox angry. I once saw him lose his temper when one of his creatures bit him. It wasn't a pretty sight.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Cold Station 12 (#4.5)" (2004)
[Archer and Reed are shooting an Augment three times before he goes down]
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: That's what it takes to stun them. What have you gotta do to kill them?

"Star Trek: Enterprise: In a Mirror, Darkly: Part 2 (#4.19)" (2005)
[a crewman has been attacked by a predatory reptile]
Major Malcolm Reed: Perhaps it was a pet, owned by one of the original crew.
Dr. Phlox: Unless one of them owned a velociraptor, I find it extremely unlikely.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Marauders (#2.6)" (2002)
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: This battle won't be won with firepower. Deception and surprise can be just as potent as brute force.
Sub-Commander T'Pol: Klingons are aggressive warriors. But their tactics are crude. They're slow to adapt to changing circumstances.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Exile (#3.6)" (2003)
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: I ran every scan in the book. There's no sign of any intruder anywhere on the ship.
Ensign Hoshi Sato: Maybe our sensors missed something.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: I went through all the logs for the past 24 hours. To say they were uneventful would be an understatement. This is good news!
Ensign Hoshi Sato: That I'm imagining things?

"Star Trek: Enterprise: The Forge (#4.7)" (2004)
[Mayweather and Reed have detected another bomb in the debris of the bombed embassy]
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: I'm going to attempt to scan it.
Ensign Travis Mayweather: "Attempt"?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Yeah. If I designed that bomb, I'd rig it to go off the instant a sensor beam made contact.
[Mayweather looks at him scared]
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Look on the bright side. If it detonates... we'll never know.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Kir'Shara (#4.9)" (2004)
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Have you told Starfleet you're planning to warn the Andorians?
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: No.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Have you any idea what the Admiral will do when he finds out?
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: I'll save you a seat at my court martial.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Hatchery (#3.17)" (2004)
[the crew is examining a Xindi-Insectoid ship]
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: My father'd love to get a look at this place. He's fascinated by insects - always filling the house up with bugs he's collected. Drives my mother crazy.
Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Maybe we can bring home something new for his collection.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Borderland (#4.4)" (2004)
Capt. Jonathan Archer: [introducing] My Tactical Officer, Lieutenant Reed.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Doctor.
Dr. Arik Soong: I've heard of you. But I don't recognize your face. You're not getting your fair share of publicity.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Unexpected (#1.5)" (2001)
[first lines]
[Archer is taking a shower when the gravity suddenly turns off leaving him floating among globules of water]
Captain Jonathan Archer: Archer to the Bridge.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Lieutenant Reed, sir.
Captain Jonathan Archer: What the hell's going on?
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: We are having a little trouble with the gravity plating on E-deck. I hope it hasn't caused you any inconvenience.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: The Council (#3.22)" (2004)
[MACO Corporal Hawkins has died during a mission]
Lt. Reed: Maybe that's the problem! Maybe we're getting a bit too comfortable with losing people. 23 men and women! On any given mission, the limits of acceptable casualties is 20%. So says traditional military doctrine. Well, we've crossed that margin!
Subcommander T'Pol: There's a Vulcan axiom: "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few." Corporal Hawkins understood that.
Lt. Reed: That doesn't make his death any more acceptable.
Subcommander T'Pol: No. But it makes it honorable.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Similitude (#3.10)" (2003)
[Sim is eating in the mess hall, when Reed enters]
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Key lime pie.
Sim: I suddenly realized it was my favorite dessert. Now I know why.

"Star Trek: Enterprise: Broken Bow: Part 2 (#1.2)" (2001)
[Last Lines]
Captain Jonathan Archer: I hope nobody is in a big hurry to get home. Starfleet seems to think that we're ready to begin our mission. I understand there's an inhabited planet a few light years from here.
Ensign Hoshi Sato: We've detected it, sir. Sensors show a nitrogen sulfide atmosphere.
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed: Probably not humanoids?
Captain Jonathan Archer: That's what we're here to find out. Prepare to break orbit, and lay in a course.
Ensign Travis Mayweather: I'm reading an ion storm on that trajectory, sir. Should I go around it?
Captain Jonathan Archer: We can't be afraid of the wind, Ensign. Take us to warp four.