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Commander Pavel Chekov: Course heading, Captain?
Captain James T. Kirk: Second star to the right and straight on 'til morning.
Commander Pavel Andreievich Chekov: Guess who's coming to dinner.
Captain Kirk: Checkov you know anything about a radiation surge?
Commander Pavel Chekov: Only the size of my head.
Captain Kirk: I know what you mean.
[
Watching a replay of the torpedo hit]
Commander Pavel Chekov: It is Enterprise. We fired.
Captain Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott: That is not possible! All weapons visually accounted for, sir.
Captain Spock: An ancestor of mine maintained that when you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. If we did not fire those torpedoes, another ship did.
Lieutenant Valeris: A bird of prey?
Captain Spock: A bird of prey.
Commander Pavel Chekov: Cloaked?
Captain Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott: A bird of prey cannot open fire when it's cloaked!
Captain Spock: All things being equal, Mr. Scott, I would agree with you. All things, however, are not equal. This one can.
Commander Pavel Chekov: I don't understand. If there was another ship underneath us, surely the assassins beamed aboard from that vessel, not Enterprise.
Captain Spock: You're forgetting something, Mr. Chekhov. According to our ship's databanks, this ship fired those torpedoes. If we did, the killers are here. If we did not, whoever altered the databanks is here. In either case, what we are looking for, is here.
[
the crew enter the bridge]
Kirk: Once again, we've saved civilization as we know it.
McCoy: And the good news is they're not going to prosecute.
Uhuru: They might as well have prosecuted me. I felt like Lt. Valeris.
McCoy: [
looks at Spock] Well, they don't prosecute people for having feelings.
Chekov: Just as well, or we'll all have to turn ourselves in.
Cmdr. Nyota Uhura: You are Crewman Dax?
Crewman Dax: Yes Commander. What is the problem?
Commander Pavel Chekov: Perhaps you have heard Russian epic of Cinderella? If shoe fits, wear it!
[
drops magnetic boots at Dax's feet]
Captain Spock: Mr. Chekov...
[
camera pans down to show that Dax's feet are incapable of fitting into boots]
Kirk: What are we all doing here?
McCoy: Maybe they're throwing us a retirement party.
Scotty: That suits me. I just bought a boat.
Cmdr. Nyota Uhura: This had better be good. I'm supposed to be chairing a seminar at the Academy.
Chekov: Captain, isn't this just for top brass?
McCoy: If we're all here, where's Sulu?
Kirk: *Captain* Sulu, on assignment. Where's Spock?
Captain James T. Kirk: [
Spock has beamed Kirk and Bones aboard just before they find out who framed them] No! No! Of all the - son of a - Couldn't you have waited two seconds? They were just about to tell us the whole thing!
Commander Pavel Andreievich Chekov: You want to go back?
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: Absolutely not!
Captain James T. Kirk: [
whispering] It's cold.
Chekov: Admiral. We have found the nuclear wessel.
Kirk: Well done, Team two.
Chekov: And Admiral... it is the *Enterprise*.
[
Kirk and Spock look at each other]
Kirk: Understood.
Chekov: [
to a street cop] Excuse me, sir! Can you direct us to the naval base in Alameda? It's where they keep the nuclear wessels.
[
He pauses, looks at Uhura, and tries again]
Chekov: *Nuclear wessels*
[
Chekov is being interrogated]
FBI agent interrogating Chekov: Name.
Chekov: My name?
FBI agent interrogating Chekov: [
sarcastically] No, my name.
Chekov: I do not know your name.
FBI agent interrogating Chekov: You play games with me, Mister, and you're through.
Chekov: I am? May I go now?
Chekov: Cloaking device available on all flight modes.
Kirk: I'm impressed - That's a lot of work for a short journey.
Chekov: We are in an enemy wessel. I did not wish to be shot down on our way to our own funeral.
FBI agent interrogating Chekov: What do you think?
FBI Agent 2: He's a Russki.
FBI agent interrogating Chekov: That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life, of course he's a Russki but he's a retard or something...
FBI Agent 2: You better call Washington.
Chekov: [
picks up his phaser from the table, aiming at the FBI agents] Don't move!
FBI agent interrogating Chekov: OK, make nice, give us the ray gun.
Chekov: I warn you, if you don't lie on the floor... I will have to stun you.
FBI agent interrogating Chekov: Go ahead. Stun me.
Chekov: I'm very sorry, but...
[
tries to fire the phaser, but it jams. Laughs nervously]
Chekov: Heh, must be the radiation.
[
throws the phaser at the FBI agent and escapes through a back door]
[
to 20th Century American interrogators]
Chekov: I am Pavel Chekov, a commander in Starfleet. United Federation of Planets Service Number 656-5827D.
Kirk: [
Trying to revive Mr. Checkov] Pavel, talk to me
[
pause]
Kirk: Name! Rank!
Chekov: [
groggily] Chekov, Pavel. Rank
[
pause]
Chekov: Admiral!
Chekov: Please, please - We're looking for the naval base in Alameda can you tell us where the nuclear wessels are?
Random Passerby: Oh, I don't know if I know the answer to that. I think it's across the Bay. In Alameda!
Chekov: That's what I said - Alameda, I know that.
Cmdr. Uhura: But where is Alameda?
Lt. Pavel Chekov: This is starting to get... very Russian...
Lt. Pavel Chekov: I should be on that bridge. That Klingon is still out there and I'm the best weapons officer the Keptin has.
Lt. Pavel Chekov: Best in the fleet!
Ambassador Rayna Morgan: Oh Pavel, if ever you were needed, it would be in the next few hours.
Lt. Pavel Chekov: That may be all the time I have left...
Lt. Pavel Chekov: How much time do I have, honestly?
Dr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Damn it, Pavel, I'm a doctor. Not a watchmaker.
[
pause]
Dr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Soon.
Lt. Pavel Chekov: Who would have thought I'd live so long in such a short time?
Ambassador Rayna Morgan: You know, you remind me so much of someone I knew a long time ago.
Lt. Pavel Chekov: Would that be because I resemble my grandfather, Dimitri Chekov, Federation ambassador to Russia?
Dr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Take this shift off. Go back to your quarters and relax.
Lt. Pavel Chekov: But doctor, I feel fine!
Dr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Hey, doctor's orders. And if you decide to disobey, remember, I can pull you in here for a complete two day medical exam, with probes, just because.
Lt. Pavel Chekov: I think I'll go back to my quarters... and relax.
Khan: Captain, Captain, Captain... save your strength. These people have sworn to live and die at my command two hundred years before you were born. Do you mean he never told you the tale? To amuse your Captain, no? Never told you how the Enterprise picked up the Botany Bay, lost in space from the year 1996 with myself and the ship's company in cryogenic freeze?
Capt. Terrell: I never even met Admiral Kirk.
Khan: 'Admiral?' 'Admiral!' 'Admiral'... Never told you how 'Admiral' Kirk sent seventy of us into exile in this barren sandheap with only the contents of these cargo bays to sustain us?
Chekov: You lie! On Ceti Alpha Five there was life! A fair chance...
Khan: [
shouts] THIS IS CETI ALPHA FIVE! Ceti Alpha Six exploded six months after we were left here. The shock shifted the orbit of this planet and everything was laid waste. 'Admiral' Kirk never bothered to check on our progress. It was only the fact of my genetically-engineered intellect that allowed us to survive. On Earth, two hundred years ago, I was a prince with power over millions...
[
Khan, about to put Ceti Eels in Terrell and Chekov's ears]
Khan: You see, their young enter through the ears and wrap themselves around the cerebral cortex. This has the effect of rendering the victim extremely susceptible to suggestion. Later, as they grow, follows madness and death.
Chekov: Khan, listen to me...
Khan: These are pets, of course. Not quite domesticated.
[
Terrell and Chekov have beamed down into a sandstorm]
Capt. Terrell: Chekov, are you *sure* these are the correct coordinates?
Chekov: Captain, this is the garden spot of Ceti Alpha Six!
Chekov: [
to Khan] Captain Kirk was your host. You repaid his hospitality by trying to steal his ship and murder him!
[
Chekov has noticed an energy flux reading on the scanner, prompting Terrell to contact Dr. Carol Marcus]
Captain Clark Terrell: Maybe it's something we can transplant, uhm?
Cmdr. Pavel Chekov: You *know* what she'll say.
Chekov: Oh, sir, it was Khan! We picked him up on Ceti Alpha Five... He put... creatures... in our bodies... to control our minds. He made us... say lies... do things. He thought he controlled us, but he did not. The Captain was strong.
Kirk: Time?
Saavik: Three minutes, thirty seconds.
Kirk: Distance from Reliant?
Chekov: 4000 kilometers.
Sulu: We're not going to make it, are we?
[
Kirk turns to look at David, who slowly shakes his head]
Captain Pavel Chekov: This almost makes me feel like a kid again!
Captain Nyota Uhura: Well, it should. The last time you sat in that seat, you were a kid.
Captain Pavel Chekov: Deja vu all over again.
Chekov: Nyota, I'm honored to know you. In both lifetimes.
Chekov: Damn it! Where's Scotty when you need him?
Uhura: [
raising her glass] Here's to forty years of high adventure!
Admiral Chekov: [
raises his] Here's to the next forty.
Admiral Chekov: [
Uhura gives him a puzzled look] Well, as Spock is so fond of saying: there is always a possibility...
Chekov: Say good-bye, Mr. Mitchell.
Kirk: Stand by to execute emergency landing plan... "B."
[
a brief pause]
Chekov: What's emergency landing plan "B?"
Scotty: I don't have a clue.
Kirk: [
on Comm system] "B" as in Barricade.
Scotty: He can't be serious.
Uhura: [
Chekov and Sulu are lost in the woods of Yellowstone] Is there a problem, gentlemen?
Sulu: Uh, yes. We've been caught in a... we've been caught in a blizzard.
[
Chekov blows on the communicator, simulating wind noises]
Chekov: And we can't see a thing. Request you direct us to the coordinates.
Uhura: My scanners show clear skies and 70 degrees.
Chekov: [
stops blowing] Sulu, look. The sun's come out. It's a miracle.
Sulu: [
hiking near Mount Rushmore] I still think I should have gone to Yosemite with the Captain.
Chekov: What's the difference? You've seen one national park, you've seen them all.
[
hiking in the woods of Yellowstone]
Chekov: Admit it, we're lost.
Sulu: All right, we're lost. But we're making good time!
[
Chekov and Sulu are lost while hiking in Yellowstone, Uhura has just contacted them]
Uhura: Bad news gentlemen... shore leave's been canceled.
Chekov: [
to Sulu] Rescued at last!
James T. Kirk: [
hurling to his death with Sulu] Kirk to Enterprise. We're falling without a chute. Beam us up!
Transport chief: I'm trying. I can't lock onto your signal.
James T. Kirk: Beam us up!
Transport chief: You're moving too fast!
James T. Kirk: Beam us up!
Pavel Chekov: I can do zat! I can do zat!
Pavel Chekov: Ensign Authorization code: nine-five-wictor-wictor-two!
[
Authorization is not recognized]
Christopher Pike: Russian whizkid, what's your name? Chanko? Cherpov?
Pavel Chekov: Ensign Chekov, Pavel Andreievich, sir.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Wait a minute, kid. How old are you?
Pavel Chekov: Seventeen, sir.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Oh... oh, good, he's seventeen.
Spock: Doctor... Mr. Chekov is correct.
Kirk: [
Bolts out of bed suddenly from being sedated] Lightning storm!
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Ah, Jim, you're awake. How do you feel?
[
He looks down, suddenly growing alarmed]
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Good God, man!
Kirk: What? AH!
[
He yelps and raises his hands, which are now twice their normal size]
Kirk: What the hell's this?
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: A reaction to the vaccine, dammit! Nurse Chapel, I need 50 cc's of cortizone!
Nurse Chapel: Yes, sir!
[
He starts scanning Kirk while Kirk replays Chekov's message]
Pavel Chekov: [
on the computer] ... appeared to be a lightning storm in space.
Kirk: Bones! We gotta stop the ship!
[
He takes off running down the hall]
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: [
running after him] Jim! I'm not kidding, you need to keep your heart rate down!
[
he fumbles through a first aid kit while Jim accesses another computer console]
Kirk: Computer, locate crew member Uhura.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: You know, I haven't seen a reaction this bad since med school!
Kirk: We're flying into a trap!
[
He starts running again]
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Dammit, Jim, stand still!
[
injects him yet again]
Kirk: [
yelps in pain] OW! STOP THAT!
[
he runs through the engine room, looking for Uhura]
Capt. Kirk: How close will we come to the nearest Klingon outpost if we continue on our present course?
Chekov: Ah, one parsec, sir. Close enough to smell them.
[
grins broadly]
Spock: That is illogical, Ensign. Odors cannot travel through the vacuum of space.
Chekov: I was making a little joke, sir.
Spock: Extremely little, Ensign.
Scott: When are you gonna get off that milk diet, lad?
Chekov: This is vodka.
Scott: Where I come from, that's soda pop.
Scott: [
raising his glass] Now this is a drink for a man.
Chekov: Scotch?
Scott: Aye.
Chekov: It was invented by a little old lady from Leningrad.
Korax: [
the tribbles squeal as he pours some of his drink into Cyrano Jones' glass] The Earthers like those fuzzy things, don't they?
Cyrano Jones: [
accepts drink, laughs nervously] Oh, yes.
Korax: Well, frankly, I never liked Earthers. They remind me of Regulan bloodworms.
[
the Klingons laugh]
Chekov: That cossack!
Scott: Easy, lad. You ought to be more forgiving.
Korax: Oh, I just remembered. There is one Earth man who doesn't remind me of a Regulan bloodworm. That's Kirk. A Regulan bloodworm is soft and shapeless, but Kirk isn't soft. Kirk may be a swaggering, overbearing, tin-plated dictator with delusions of godhood, but he's not soft.
Scott: [
as Chekov gulps down his drink and gets up] Take it easy, lad. Everybody's entitled to an opinion.
[
Chekov sits down]
Korax: That's right! And if I think that Kirk is a Denebian slime devil, well that's my opinion, too.
Scott: [
as Chekov gets up again] Don't do it, mister, and that's an order!
Chekov: But you heard what he called the captain!
Scott: Forget it. It's not worth fighting for. We're big enough to take a few insults
[
swaps Chekov's empty glass with another]
Scott: Now, drink your drink.
Korax: [
Chekov sits, then realizes his drink isn't vodka] Of course, I'd say that Captain Kirk deserves his ship. We like the Enterprise. We... we really do! That sagging, old rust-bucket is designed like a garbage scow!
[
Scotty's ears perk up]
Korax: Half the quadrant knows it; that's why they're learning to speak Klingoni!
Chekov: [
outraged] Mr. Scott!
Scott: [
to Korax] Laddie, don't ya think ya should... rephrase that?
Korax: [
in Scottish brogue] You're right. I should.
Korax: [
normal voice] I didn't mean to say that the Enterprise should be hauling garbage. I meant to say that it should be hauled away AS garbage!
[
Korax laughs. Scotty stands up, decks him, and a brawl ensues]
Yeoman Martha Landon: All this beauty, and now Mr. Hendorff dead, somebody watching us. It's frightening.
Chekov: [
puts his arms around her] If you insist on worrying, worry about me. I've been wanting to get you in a place like this for a long time.
Capt. Kirk: Mr. Chekov, Lieutenant Landon. I know you find each other fascinating, but we're not here to conduct a field experiment in human biology.
Chekov: [
appraising the planet] It makes me homesick. Just like Russia.
Dr. McCoy: More like the Garden of Eden, Ensign.
Chekov: Of course, Doctor. The Garden of Eden was just outside Moscow. A very nice place. Must've made Adam and Eve very sad to leave.
Mr. Spock: Mr. Chekov, your tricorder readings are totally inefficient!
Chekov: Uh, mind your own business! Uh, for your information I have a very high efficiency rating!
Mr. Spock: Ensign, I will not have you address me in that tone of voice!
Chekov: What do you want, violins?
Apollo: I am Apollo!
Ensign Pavel Chekov: [
sarcastically] And I am the Czar of all the Russias!
Capt. Kirk: Mister Chekov!
Ensign Pavel Chekov: I sorry, Captain. I never met a god before.
Capt. Kirk: And you haven't yet.
Chekov: Sir, some creatures can generate and control energy with no harm to themselves: The electric eel on Earth, the giant dry worm of Antos 4, the fluffy...
Dr. McCoy: [
interrupting] Not the whole encyclopedia, Chekov.
Chekov: The captain requires complete information.
Dr. McCoy: Spock's contaminating this boy, Jim.
Capt. Kirk: Are you suggesting that he, Apollo, taps a flow of energy and channels it through his body?
Chekov: That would seem most likely, sir.
Capt. Kirk: Mr. Chekov, I think you've earned your pay for the week.
Chekov: [
Kirk is about to persuade Carolyn] Eh, perhaps if I assisted?
Capt. Kirk: How old are you?
Chekov: Twenty-two, sir.
Capt. Kirk: Then I'd better handle it.
Chekov: You... You have been selected for me?
Tamoon: No. I am only your drill thrall. I have brought you nourishment.
[
sits down next to him]
Tamoon: It is a nice name: Chee-koof.
Chekov: Heh, heh. Chekov.
Tamoon: Chee... koof? It is a very nice name.
Galt: You begin, Uhura.
Uhura: No!
Galt: It is not allowed to refuse a training exercise.
Uhura: I don't care whether it's allowed or not. I will not do it.
Captain James T. Kirk: None of us will do it, Galt.
Galt: It is part of your training. The Providers wish it.
Captain James T. Kirk: The devil with the Providers!
Chekov: Cossacks.
[
Kirk releases Chekov from his cell]
Chekov: This is going to kill our romance.
Chekov: A madman got us into this and it's beginning to look as if only a madman can get us out.
Mr. Spock: An entertaining suggestion, Mr. Chekov, but not very helpful.
Chekov: Our position is so close to the point were we entered the void, the difference isn't worth mentioning. Bullseye, Mr. Spock.
Mr. Spock: Thank you, Mr. Chekov.
Captain Kirk: Well, opinions?
Chekov: I think we're in a lot of trouble.
Captain Kirk: That's a great help, Mr. Chekov. Bones?
McCoy: I think Chekov's right, we are in a lot of trouble.
Captain Kirk: Spock, and if you say we're in a lot of trouble...
Spock: We are.
Alice #1 through 250: You desire something else, lord?
Chekov: What a shame you're not real.
Alice #251 through 500: We are real, my lord.
Chekov: Oh, I mean 'real girls'.
Alice #1 through 250: We are programmed to function as human females, lord.
Chekov: You are?
Alice #1 through 250,
Alice #251 through 500: [
In unison] Yes, my lord.
Chekov: Harry Mudd programmed you?
Alice #1 through 250,
Alice #251 through 500: [
in unison] Yes, my lord.
Chekov: That unprincipled, evil-minded, lecherous, kulak, Harry Mudd programmed you?
Alice #1 through 250,
Alice #251 through 500: [
In unison] Yes, my lord.
Chekov: This place is even better than Leningrad.
[
Kirk is invited to give a command to the new Enterprise-B]
Kirk: Take us out.
Chekov: Very good, sir.
Scotty: Brought a tear to my eye.
Kirk: Oh, be quiet.
Chekov: I was never that young.
Kirk: No, you were younger.
Scott: There's an old, old saying on earth, Mr. Sulu: "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me."
Chekov: I know this saying. It was invented in Russia.
[
smiles devilishly]
Chekov: Mr. Scott. Picking up something on the sensors, sir. Seems to be another ship.
Scott: Well, let's put it on the screen.
[
screen reveals nothing]
Chekov: It's just at the edge of our sensor range, sir. Hard to get an exact reading.
Sulu: You think it's a Klingon ship?
Scott: Who else would be playing cat and mouse with a starship?
Kirk: There's an old saying: when you have a Klingon by the tail...
Chekov: Klingons have tails?
Chekov: It is... it is a sparkle dancer!
Mr. Spock: The red giant is named Lear after King Lear. The blue dwarf is Iago.
Lt. Pavel Chekov: Hm. Somebody didn't know their Shakespeare very well. A Russian wouldn't make that mistake.
Mr. Spock: It is a metafore, Mr. Chekov. The red giant is a very old star. The blue-white dwarf is pulling the fire out of it. It will take thousands of centuries, of course.
Lt. Cmdr. Montgomery Scott: Sleep, there's no such thing. It's just an old space tale like Sparkle dancers or Klingons with a heart of gold.
Lt. Pavel Chekov: No, I remember sleep. I did it once. You lie down and don't do anything for six hours. Wonderful.
Captain James T. Kirk: Mr. Sulu, get below. Take command of Engineering and Auxiliary Control.
Sulu: Aye, sir.
[
heads for the turbolift]
Chekov: [
anxiously] Captain...
Chekov: Mr. Chekov...
Chekov: Captain!
Captain James T. Kirk: Mr. Chekov, as you were.
[
Sulu stops. Chekov gets up and brandishes his sword]
Captain James T. Kirk: Mr. Chekov!
Chekov: No, sir! Let me go, too. I have a personal score to settle with the Klingons.
Captain James T. Kirk: This is no time for a vendetta. Maintain your post.
Chekov: Captain...
Captain James T. Kirk: Chekov, maintain your post!
Chekov: Don't try to stop me, Captain. I saw what they left of Piotr. I swore on his grave I would avenge his murder!
[
enters the turbolift]
Sulu: [
confused] What's Chekov's grudge against the Klingons? Who's... Piotr?
Captain James T. Kirk: His only brother, killed in a Klingon raid.
Sulu: His brother? He never had a brother; he's an only child.
Captain James T. Kirk: [
after Kang and his crew have been beamed aboard] Secure from Red Alert, but maintain General Quarters. Scan the sector for other ships. Run a full check on the colony. I want this thing nailed down, fast.
Chekov: We know what happened: that distress call.
Mr. Spock: At the moment we received the distress signal from the colony on Beta XII-A, the Klingons were too far distant to have been the attackers. Moreover, they also were apparently attracted by a distress call.
[
they enter the turbolift]
Chekov: Lies! They want to start a war by pretending that we did it!
Dr. McCoy: Chekov may be right. The Klingons claim to have honored the truce, but there have been incidents, raids on our outposts...
Captain James T. Kirk: But no proof that the Klingons committed it.
Dr. McCoy: What proof do we need? We know what a Klingon is!
[
McCoy exits turbolift]
Mr. Spock: Our log tape will indicate our innocence in our present situation.
Captain James T. Kirk: Unfortunately, there's no guarantee that they will be believed.
[
Kirk, Spock, and Chekov step onto the Bridge]
DeSalle: Mr. Chekov, recalibrate your sensors. If you need help...
Chekov: I can do it, sir. I'm not that green.
Chekov: We're burning up, sir.
Lt. Pavel Chekov: No casualties reported, Doctor.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: Wrong, Mr. Chekov. There are casualties: my wits!
Chekov: I didn't think Mr Scott would go for the brainy type.
Sulu: I don't think he's even noticed she has a brain.
[
first lines]
Dr. McCoy: [
in voice-over, as Kirk enters the Bridge] Enterprise Medical Log, Stardate 5027.3, Dr. Leonard McCoy recording. I'm concerned about Captain Kirk; he shows indications of increasing tensions and emotional stress...
Chekov: I have completed the assignment, Captain: a theoretical incursion...
Captain James T. Kirk: Yes, Mr. Chekov, I can read. And as usual, your theoretical evaluations do not tally with mine. Return to your duty, and I'll let you know when your work is satisfactory. Mr. Spock, full sensor scan on the region, please.
Spock: I did give a full report on it just...
Captain James T. Kirk: Yes, Mr. Spock, that was the past. I'm concerned with the present.
[
agitated, to the Bridge crew]
Captain James T. Kirk: Or is it becoming too much for this crew to present me with current information?
Spock: No, sir. Compliance presence no problem.
Captain James T. Kirk: Then, Mr. Spock, comply.
Spock: Sensor scan to one-half parsec... Negative, Captain.
Captain James T. Kirk: Very well.
Dr. McCoy: [
continuing log entry] I can find no reason for the Captain's behavior, except possibly that we've been on patrol too long without relief and diversion. He has resisted all of my attempts to run a psychological profile on him.
Sulu: Maintaining course and speed, sir.
Captain James T. Kirk: Change course. Come about to 185, mark 3.
Sulu: But sir, that'll lead us right into the Romulan Neutral Zone.
Captain James T. Kirk: Yes, very perceptive, Mr. Sulu. I know where the course change takes us. Execute.
Sulu: [
reluctantly] Aye, sir.
[
the Enterprise heads for Romulan space]
Sulu: How do you figure it, Chekov? First we're going to Vulcan, then we're going to Altair, then we're headed to Vulcan again, and now we're headed back to Altair.
Chekov: I think I'm going to get space sick.
[
the viewscreen is completely blank]
Chekov: Captain, the stars are gone!
Capt. Kirk: Malfunction, Mr. Spock?
Mr. Spock: Negative, Captain. All systems functioning properly.
Capt. Kirk: Then kindly tell me what happened to the stars.
Sulu: The captain really must be going mad if he thinks he can get away with an execution.
Chekov: Keptin Kirk wouldn't order an execution, even if he were going mad. That cannot be the keptin.
Sulu: What difference does it make who he is? Are we going to allow an execution to take place?
Chekov: If security backs him up, how will we fight him?
Sulu: I'll fight him every way in any way I can.
Chekov: [
darkly] Give some more blood, Chekov. The needle won't hurt, Chekov. Take off your shirt, Chekov. Roll over, Chekov. Breathe deeply, Chekov. Blood sample, Chekov. Marrow sample, Chekov. Skin sample, Chekov. If-if I live long enough, I'm going to run out of samples.
Sulu: You'll live.
Chekov: Oh, yes, I'll live, but I won't enjoy it.
Capt. Kirk: [
Sylvia is kissing Chekov passionately] Eh, Mr. Chekov?
Chekov: What can I do, Keptin? You know we're always supposed to maintain good relatoins with the natives.
Scotty: [
studying the Klingon bird-of-prey's helm] Where's the damn anti-matter inducer?
Cmdr. Pavel Chekov: That?... no, *that*!
Scotty: That or nothing.
Mirror Chekov: So you die, Captain, and we all move up in rank. No one will question the assassination of a captain who has disobeyed prime orders of the Empire.