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: I suffered pain all my life. It's going to take more than headaches to stop me. Kes
: I know all about your life, I know about your suffering. It doesn't justify what you've become. You're a monster, Tieran, and I have no compassion for you. Tieran
: And I don't ask for any. What I need from you I already have: your body and your mind. Kes
: You may have my body, but you'll never have my mind. I won't surrender it.
: You're already deteriorating, and it's only going to get worse. I'll find every little crack in your defenses. You'll feel yourself crumbling from within, your sanity slipping away. I won't stop until you're broken and helpless. There's nowhere you can go to get away from me. I'll be relentless and merciless, just like you!
: Do you really think a child like this poses any threat to me? I've been fighting worse battles since the day I was born. When the doctors said I wouldn't live past my first year, I proved them wrong. Even when my parents thought I was too sickly to be worth caring for, I survived on the streets. Even when my own ungrateful subjects forced me into exile, I refused to accept defeat. I certainly won't surrender to this little girl!
: This momentary lapse will pass, and I'll be stronger than ever. Stronger than ever! Stronger than ever! Stronger than...
: I want the people to know that I have their welfare at heart. Tomorrow we'll send out an edict. Every citizen must have a garden. Nori
: Garden? Kes-Tieran
: I love plants, flowers, anything that grows. Some of the times I felt most content were those spent watching the seedlings grow in the airponics...
: I'm really not a monster.
[Kes has defeated Tieran, but at a price
: How can I worry about my own wellbeing when... so many people have suffered and died? Lieutenant Tuvok
: You were not responsible for Tieran's actions. Kes
: I can't help wondering whether I could've fought harder. Lieutenant Tuvok
: It was your absolute refusal to surrender which defeated him. You cannot ask more of yourself than that.
: Everything seems so different now. My thoughts and perceptions... Even my relationships with my closest friends... You, the Doctor, Neelix... How can I go back to my normal life as if nothing ever happened? Lieutenant Tuvok
: You cannot. This experience will force you to adapt. You are no longer the same person, and the course of your life will change as a result. Where that new course leads is up to you.
: This is insane. We've spent years planning this, every move, every detail, and now suddenly our leader's been reduced to a little girl? Kes-Tieran
: I've been exploring the mind of this little girl and I've discovered some rather interesting abilities.
[Resh begins to go into seizures
: She had barely begun to tap into them. It's a good thing I came along, so all that wasted potential could be turned to a greater purpose. Now, should I continue the demonstration, or do I have your loyalty?
: What do you want? The Doctor-Darkling
: What everybody wants - just a little... excitement.
: Where're we going? The Doctor-Darkling
: Wherever the winds of space carry us.
: There's not enough room inside for both of us. One must die. I deserve to exist, more than your Doctor does. Kes
: Why? The Doctor-Darkling
: I was born of the hidden, the suppressed. I am the dark threads from many personalities. Kes
: The historical characters? The Doctor-Darkling
: None of whom could face the darkness inside, so they denied me, suppressed me, frightened of the truth. Kes
: What truth is that? The Doctor-Darkling
: That darkness is more fundamental than light, cruelty before kindness, evil more primary than good, more deserving of existence.
: Why does it bother you so much when I call you 'Doctor'? You said he was inside you, that he was unconscious. Why are you so afraid of him? The Doctor-Darkling
: I fear nothing! No one! But he... repulses me. Kes
: Why? The Doctor-Darkling
: Because he's as weak as the rest of you. He fails to understand the power of his own holographic nature. He is detestable.
[the Doctor-Darkling threatens to throw Kes down a precipice
: When I walked in on you on the holodeck, you could have killed me, knocked me unconscious. The Doctor-Darkling
: I needed a hostage! Kes
: You said you were taking me for my own good, to prevent me from making the wrong decisions. You said I was naive and needed your help. That's not what you say to a hostage. In your own way you've been trying to protect me. The Doctor-Darkling
: I won't accept that! Kes
: You've twisted and suppressed all that's good inside of you, but it's still there. The Doctor-Darkling
: No! I won't hear this anymore! Kes
: You can't deny it! The Doctor-Darkling
: Watch me!
[grabs Kes and plunges with her into the precipice
[overtired, Kes hands Janeway a report
] Captain Kathryn Janeway
: An all-nighter, Kes? Kes
: Uh, Captain? Captain Kathryn Janeway
: The fine art of putting off an important task till the very last minute, then rushing through it. In my Academy days, I was the acknowledged master.
: I want complication in my life.
: Neelix and Tom Paris had a physical... fight - over me! The Doctor
: How delightful.
Ensign Harry Kim
: [about Paris and Neelix
] I'm sure they'll both be fine. Kes
: Unless they kill each other.
: On my homeworld, it's so much simpler. You choose a mate for life; there's no distrust, no jealousy, no envy, no betrayal... The Doctor
: Hmm... Your world must have very dry literature.
: What happened? Tom Paris
: I became an uncle. Neelix
: And I'm a godmother!
: Throughout history, men have fought over the love of a woman. Why, I can quote you autopsy reports from duels as far back as 1538. Kes
: That's not funny! The Doctor
: It's not meant to be. You've always been interested in autopsies.
, The Doctor
] There are some things you can't cure.
: It's time for me to leave Voyager.
: I couldn't have come this far without you. And I love you. I always will. It's just, um... Neelix
: My cooking. You've always hated my cooking. Kes
: That's exactly what it was.
: I don't know what happened. I looked at the hypospray and it just came to me.
Captain Kathryn Janeway
: Ah - Tuvok's meditation lamp. I was with him when he got it six years ago, from a Vulcan master. Who doubled the price when he saw our Starfleet insignias. Kes
: I'm sure it was the logical thing to do.
: [her final words
] My gift to you...
: First they tell me there's no doctor, so I have to be on call twenty-four hours a day. And then they tell me there are no nurses, so I have no one to assist me. Kes
: I thought Tom Paris was assigned to you. The Doctor
: Like I said, no one to assist me.
: I am an emergency medical supplement. A supplement. That's all. I wasn't programmed for any of this. It's just... unacceptable. Kes
: I don't know anything about holographic engineering. But if you want my opinion, you haven't been acceptable. You've been remarkable.
: How does a real doctor learn to deal with patients' emotional problems, anyway? The Doctor
: They learn from experience. Kes
: Aren't you capable of learning? The Doctor
: I have the capacity to accumulate and process data, yes. Kes
: Then I guess you'll just have to learn - like the rest of us.
: [discussing Neelix, whose life hangs on an experimental procedure the Doctor has planned
] I want to know what this means. What are you going to do to him? The Doctor
: There's no time to explain the exact procedure to you right now. Kes
: Oh, you'll make the time! Because I'm not going to let you perform any experimental surgery on Neelix until I know exactly what you're doing and what the risks are.
: If there's one thing that this experience has taught me, Captain, it's that there's no time like the present.
: Your past has become my future.
: Doctor, you've lost your hair. The Doctor
: I beg your pardon?
: It's not as if I've seen everything that's going to happen over the next six years. I only remember short periods I experienced between jumps. Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres
: Even so, I bet you found out some pretty interesting things. Lieutenant Tom Paris
: Yeah, Kes. Tell us what you know. Commander Chakotay
: Careful, Tom. You may find out that you leave Voyager only to join a monastery.
: If I see you in here again for an exercise-related injury, I'll have to discuss the matter with your superior officer. Lieutenant Walter Baxter
] Yes... sir. The Doctor
: You're fine now. You may leave. Lieutenant Walter Baxter
] Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.
: I don't think he'll make the mistake of ignoring you again.
Captain Kathryn Janeway
: Many of the crew have complained that the Doctor is brusque, even rude, that he lacks any bedside manner. We've been talking about re-programing him. Kes
: You can do that? It doesn't seem right. Captain Kathryn Janeway
: Kes, he's only a hologram. Kes
: He's your Medical Officer, he's alive. Captain Kathryn Janeway
: No, he's not. Kes
: He's self-aware, he's communicative, he has the ability to learn. Captain Kathryn Janeway
: Because he's been programed to do that. Kes
: So because he's a hologram, he doesn't have to be treated with respect, or any consideration at all? Captain Kathryn Janeway
: Very well. I'll look into it. Kes
: Thank you, Captain.
: [to the Doctor
] Thank you for everything.
[on the prospect of leaving Voyager - and the Doctor - for good
: Captain Janeway has made me realize that I must function as more than an emergency medical replacement. I must think of myself as a... member of the crew. Kes
: You're absolutely right.
: My ancestors were said to have... unusual mental abilities. Neelix
: No one believes those stories. Kes
: I always have.
: It is highly unlikely that Captain Janeway would come here to... Kes
: No. The Captain did come. She was here. This is where she died.
: I had to know.
: Romance is not a malfunction.
: I'm used to being in control of my faculties, confident with my decisions. But lately, whenever Danara's program is deactivated and I should be concentrating on my work, I find myself thinking of nothing but her. Kes
: Why don't you reactivate her? The Doctor
: Because whenever I do that, I suddenly feel... unsettled, unsure of myself, and I have no idea what to say. Why would people seek out situations which induce such unpleasant symptoms? Kes
: Because when the other person feels the same way you do, it's the most wonderful thing in life.
: There's nothing sadder than a missed opportunity.
: I don't think the Captain is an idiot. She cares a great deal about her crew. Neelix
: You don't 'care a great deal' about your crew and introduce them to the spectre of death at every opportunity.
: Do all nebulas look like that? Neelix
: I wouldn't know. I'm smart enough to go around nebulas when I encounter them! Kes
: These people are natural born explorers, Neelix. Neelix
: These people are natural born *idiots*, if you ask me! They don't appreciate what they have here. This ship is the match of any vessel within a hundred light years, and what do they do with it? Neelix
] "Well, uh, let's see if we can't find some space anomaly today that might rip it apart!"
: I've never kissed anyone inside a nebula before.
: I'm here in an official capacity, of course - in case of a medical emergency. Kes
: Emergency? The Doctor
: Surprises have been known to cause acute hyperventilation, esophageal spasms, and in extreme cases even coronary arrest. One can never be too careful.
[Neelix has presented Kes with a birthday cake
] Captain Kathryn Janeway
: Now make a wish and blow out the candles. Kes
: What do I wish for? Sandrine
: Anything your petite coeur desires, ma chérie. And with a figure like hers, she'll probably get it, too.
: Neelix, I need a photograph of you. Neelix
: What for, sweeting? Kes
: From now on, even when we're separated, I want to have you where I can keep an eye on you. Neelix
: Happy birthday, Kes.
: If you are to succeed in honing your telepathic abilities, you must learn to control these emotional outbursts. Kes
: Outburst? It was a giggle!
: [after burning all the plants to the ground
] I killed those plants - just like I almost killed Tuvok. But I don't want to hurt anybody. Tanis
: Of course you don't. That's not the point. Hurt people, help them, give life, kill - it's all the same. Once you see beyond the physical, you see the universe as it truly is.
: To be honest, I never want to see that part of myself again. Lieutenant Tuvok
: To which part are you referring? Kes
: To the part of me that got pleasure from destroying those plants in the airponics bay. To the part of me that was tempted to go with Tanis. I never realized I had such dark impulses. Lieutenant Tuvok
: Without the darkness, how would we recognize the light? Do not fear your negative thoughts. They are part of you. They are a part of every living being - even Vulcans. Kes
: You? Lieutenant Tuvok
: The Vulcan heart was forged out of barbarism and violence. We learned to control it, but it is still part of us. To pretend it does not exist is to create an opportunity for it to escape.
[Kes gives Neelix mashed potatoes to taste
: A... Awful! How can you eat it? Kes
: I can't stop eating it. I've had six bowls! And the reason it tastes so strange, I've put a container of nitrogenated soil in it. Neelix
: Dirt? You're eating dirt?
: Her unusual appetite may merely indicate a nutrient deficiency. It is not unusual for humanoids to crave foods that are rich in the very vitamins and minerals that their bodies are lacking. Kes
: You... you can't mean my body lacks dirt?
: [on becoming a parent
] I'm not sure I'm finished growing; how could I help a child grow?
: So, what should I call you? Tuvix
: Ah, a name! I hadn't thought of that. What an intriguing question. I can see why the Doctor's finding it so difficult to choose one. A name can have a significant effect upon a person's sense of identity. - I've got it! Kes
: What? Tuvix
: Why don't you call me... 'Neevok'? - Wait... This is better: how about 'Tuvix'? Kes
: Tuvix it is.
: It's funny. If something happened to Tuvok, if Neelix were here, he'd be the first person to comfort me. And if I lost Neelix, Tuvok would be the first person to guide me spiritually. Now I don't have either of them.
: [after learning that he has the metreon disease
] There's one good thing that will come from all this. When I first met you, I didn't know that your species only lived eight or nine years. I fell in love with you, without... knowing how lonely it would be to live without you after you're gone. Now that... I'm going to die first, I don't have to worry about it. Kes
: Before I met you, eight or nine years seemed like an eternity. It never occurred to me that anyone could live longer. Now that we're together, no matter how many years we have left, it doesn't seem like enough. But the important thing is to cherish whatever time we have together - whether it's a day or a decade.
: I hate him. And I don't think I can stop hating him. Kes
: Maybe you have to stop hating yourself first.
: We should not dwell on what's been lost, but on all that's been gained. Kes
: We've gained a talent for dependence - for simply taking what we're given!
: You defied the Caretaker by going to the surface, Kes. Learn from the experience. Follow the path he has set for us. Kes
: I've learned very well, Toscat. I saw the sunlight! I can't believe that our Caretaker would forbid us to open our eyes and see the sky.
: [in a holographic message to her older self
] Remember me? The innocent child you're here to save? You blame Captain Janeway, but the choice was yours. You made the decision to leave Ocampa, and you made the decision to leave Voyager. If you're watching me now, you've come back to take revenge on the people who cared about you. That's not who you are and that's not who I am. Don't do this. Find another way home. Captain Janeway will help you if you give her a chance. Try to remember who you were. Try to remember me.
[Neelix gives Kes a farewell present, but doesn't leave immediately
] Old Kes
: What? Neelix
: Just looking. Old Kes
: See anyone you know? Neelix
: Only you.
: Computer, activate the emergency medical holographic system. The Doctor
] Please state the nature of the medical emergency. Kes
: Actually, there is no emergency. I'm creating a hydroponics bay. I was told you could provide me with some nitrogenated soil samples. The Doctor
] That's it? Kes
: I'm sorry if... The Doctor
: So it begins.
[walks up to the cabin containing the 'dirt'
] The Doctor
: The trivia of medicine is my domain now. Every runny nose, stubbed toe, pimple on a cheek becomes my responsibility.
: What's your name? The Doctor
: What purpose would a name serve a hologram? Kes
: I'd just like to know what to call you besides 'Doctor'. The Doctor
: I guess they never thought I'd be around long enough to need one. What's your name? Kes
: Kes. The Doctor
: Kes. I'm glad I could help you today. Kes
: Computer, end program.
Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres
: Mmm... I never thought Neelix's coffee could taste so good. Kes
: I'll tell him you said so.
: [on the comm system
] Sickbay to Lt Tuvok. Lieutenant Tuvok
: Go ahead, Doctor The Doctor
: Ensign Murphy was just found unconscious on Deck 2. Kes
: He has a severe concussion. The Doctor
: We suspect foul play.
: [on Kes's suggestion to replace the EMH's holo-matrix with the diagnostic program's
] I must point out that you would no longer have a diagnostic program for the EMH. Kes
: If we don't do this, we won't have an EMH to diagnose. Doctor Zimmerman
: Hm. Good point.
: [of Species 8472
] They said "Your galaxy will be purged".
[Ensign Wildman is considering different names for her unborn child
] Ensign Samantha Wildman
: What do you think of Cameron? Kes
: Oh, I like it. The Doctor
: Cameron - from the ancient Celtic term for "one whose nose is bent". Ensign Samantha Wildman
: What about Frederick? The Doctor
: Frederick - very distinguished. However, it bears a close resemblance to a rather... impolite term on the Bolian homeworld. Ensign Samantha Wildman
: It doesn't have to be a Human name. I like Sural. It's Vulcan. The Doctor
: Yes. Unfortunately it was also the name of a dictator on Sakura Prime, famed for beheading his rivals - and his parents.
: [all hell is breaking loose on Voyager, with the ship being hit by repeated proton bursts, most of the Engineering staff injured, and the newly-born Naomi Wildman in jeopardy
] The baby's cell membranes won't stabilize! The Doctor
: Increase the osmotic...
[he pauses, and several seconds later another proton burst hits
] The Doctor
: That's not helping.
[the Doctor is considering several names to choose as his own
: Take your time. After all, you will *be* that name for the rest of your life. The Doctor
: Hm... I never even considered that I *had* a life.
: [citing Species 8472
] The weak will perish!
] The Doctor
: I am curious about one thing. Kes
: What's that? The Doctor
: The radiation surge caused my program to malfunction, and my codes and circuits began to degrade. And yet, instead of detecting that threat to my program, I experienced an elaborate delusion concerning the nature of my existence: human or hologram, person... or projection. Why? Why would my program focus on such an esoteric dilemma? Kes
: Well... I sometimes ask those kind of questions. Who am I? What am I doing here? What's my purpose in life? Doesn't everybody? The Doctor
: Not me. I know exactly who I am and what my purpose is: I am the Emergency Medical Hologram aboard the starship Voyager. Kes
: [smiling mysteriously
] Are you sure about that?
: [on Chakotay's Vidiian 'make up'
] Remarkable work, Doctor. The Doctor
: Hm... If you think this is remarkable, you should see me remove a bunion.
: [after Ptera has died a second time
] I hope you find your afterlife, Ptera.
: [referring to the Hanonian natives
] Have you been able to tell if they have a leader? Kes
: I'd say it's the one with the claw. Neelix
: I agree. The other two seem to be trying to figure out what to make of us - in a manner of speaking, not in a culinary sense, I hope.
: And you... only live for nine years. Kes
: That's right. Quinn
: Oh, how I envy you. Kes
: Why is that? Quinn
: Because the one thing I want, more than any other... is to die.
: My simulated virus is leading me to a simulated death! Kes
: [to Kim
] It's nothing to worry about. I just added a couple of hours to his computer program. He'll be fine in about 45 minutes. - Knowing when it would end didn't exactly make it a fair test, did it, Doctor?
] The Doctor
: She is far more devious than I ever suspected.
: We have come across some very intriguing televised broadcasts. Take a look at this: it's a form of entertainment called a 'soap opera'. The exploration of human relationships is fascinating. Ensign Harry Kim
: Hm. I can't imagine just watching the story and not being a part of it. Kes
: That's because you've been spoiled by the holodeck. There's something to be said for non-interactive stories like this, being swept away in the narrative.
: "Here lies Thomas Eugene Paris, Beloved Mutant." The Doctor
: A fitting epitaph, but I don't intend to let you use it just yet. Kes
: Radiometric emitters are charged and ready. The Doctor
: Begin with 45 rads per second. Tom Paris
: Great. Now it'll read "Beloved Radioactive Mutant."