Neelix
Quicklinks
Top Links
main detailsbiographyby votesphoto galleryquotes
Filmographies
by yearby typeby ratingsby votesby TV seriesby genreby keyword
Biographical
biography
Did You Know?
photo galleryquotes

Quotes for
Neelix (Character)
from "Star Trek: Voyager" (1995)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"Star Trek: Voyager: Mortal Coil (#4.12)" (1997)
Seven of Nine: You are a peculiar creature, Neelix.
Neelix: Thanks. I think.

Seven of Nine: [during Neelix's Vision Quest] You will be assimilated.
Neelix: No time for that now. Maybe later.

Neelix: Dead?
The Doctor: For 18 hours, 49 minutes, 13 seconds. Congratulations, Mr. Neelix - you've just set a new world record.

The Doctor: Until I'm certain the damaged tissue can function independently, you'll have to be injected with nanoprobes on a daily basis.
Neelix: Well, as long as I don't start... uh... assimilating the crew or sprouting Borg implants, I... I'm sure I can live with it.

Seven of Nine: The Borg encountered a Kazon colony in the Gand Sector, grid 6920.
Neelix: Were they assimilated?
Seven of Nine: Their biological and technological distinctiveness was unremarkable. They were unworthy of assimilation.
Neelix: I didn't realize the Borg were so discriminating.
Seven of Nine: Why assimilate a species that would detract from perfection?

Neelix: I've been resting for two days straight, and resting makes me feel, well, restless.

Seven of Nine: These nutritional supplements are unacceptable.
Neelix: What's wrong?
Seven of Nine: They are pungent.
Neelix: That's the whole idea. I've been adding Talaxian spices to broaden your palate.
Seven of Nine: My palate is sufficiently broad.

Neelix: Nothing.
Chakotay: What?
Neelix: I died, and there was nothing. There was no one there. No Forest.
Chakotay: Forest?
Neelix: The Great Forest. The afterlife. I was taught that when I died, my ancestors would be there, waiting for me by the Guiding Tree. My sisters, my mother and father, my cousins, everyone who was killed in the war. I took great comfort in knowing that we'd all be together again one day. But it's not true.

Chakotay: Don't throw away a lifetime of faith because of one anomalous incident. Death is still the greatest mystery there is.
Neelix: I was there. I experienced it. There was nothing.

Neelix: That's what's going to happen to all of us - like a hologram we just disappear into nothing.

Neelix: I don't really like the idea of Borg technology swimming around inside me.
Seven of Nine: That is irrelevant. You need the nanoprobes to live.
Neelix: Live? Oh, is that what I am doing right now, living? I'm beginning to wonder.
Seven of Nine: By most definitions, you are alive.
Neelix: Well, part of me isn't alive.
Seven of Nine: Which part are you referring to?
Neelix: I don't know. But something is missing. I don't feel like Neelix anymore. Maybe Neelix is gone. Maybe he died, and I'm all that's left.

Neelix: I didn't ask to be brought back!
Seven of Nine: You were dead at the time.
Neelix: Well, what right did you have to violate me? You Borg think you can fix anything, but you didn't fix me!

Neelix: Alixia? Why weren't you there?

Neelix: [in his vision] Captain! My sister, she was just standing here talking to you.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: The dead girl? Oh yes, very charming. I can see the family resemblance.

[repeated line]
Neelix: Duty calls.

Chakotay: You're being called back to your life again, Neelix. Don't turn your back on it. We're your family now.
Neelix: It's not enough.
Chakotay: It is for us. "His function on this crew is diverse." That's what Seven of Nine said about you. Even our Borg understands how important you are on this ship. It's not just the duties you perform; it's the way you make people feel when you're around.
Neelix: That Neelix is gone.
Chakotay: I don't think he is.

Neelix: Eleven years ago, I saw my world in ruins... my family murdered. All that's kept me going is knowing that one day we'd be together again. That I'd see them again. But it's not true. And I can't live without that hope.

Neelix: Seven, I think you've made a wonderful addition to this crew. I know it's been difficult for you making the transition from Borg back to human, or half-human... or whatever it is you become. Actually you're... just plain Seven to me.
Seven of Nine: Your point, Mr. Neelix.
Neelix: I guess I just want to say... you're surrounded by people who care about you. And whether you know it or not, Voyager is going to be a very good home to you. It certainly was to me.
Seven of Nine: Was? Do you intend to leave?
Neelix: Leave? No. I'll be around. Well... goodbye.

[last lines]
Naomi Wildman: Mommy says you were sick.
Neelix: I was. But I'm okay now.
Naomi Wildman: Did a monster get you?
Neelix: Yes, I suppose so. But I chased him away. Pleasant dreams.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Riddles (#6.6)" (1999)
[Tuvok is in a coma]
The Doctor: There have been rare cases in which comatose patients responded to external stimuli - aromas, touch, voices.
Neelix: So, you're saying that if I stay here, and... and try to talk to Tuvok, I might be able to provoke some sort of response?
The Doctor: If anyone can provoke Tuvok, Mr Neelix, it's you.

[Neelix plays the recording of a heavy instrumental song in sickbay in an attempt to get Tuvok out of coma]
The Doctor: Mr Neelix, what is that dreadful noise?
Neelix: The chants of the monks of T'Panit! Personally, I think it's dreadful too, but it's one of Tuvok's favorites.
The Doctor: I appreciate your efforts, Mr Neelix, but I'm trying to analyze his latest neurological scans, and this 'music' is very distracting.
Neelix: You said I was supposed to stimulate his senses.
The Doctor: I said stimulate them, Mr Neelix, not annihilate them.

Neelix: How about a riddle?
Tuvok: [irritated] Mr. Neelix...
Neelix: Come on! It'll be fun.
Tuvok: I have no desire for fun.
Neelix: Okay, forget fun. A good riddle can stimulate the mind. Now, no self-respecting Vulcan can say no to that.
Tuvok: [sighs] Very well - *one* riddle.
Neelix: Here goes...

Neelix: A lone ensign finds himself stranded on a class L planetoid with no rations. His only possession: a calendar. When Starfleet finds him twelve months later, he's in perfect health. Why didn't he starve to death?
Tuvok: It is a theoretical possibility that such planetoids contain hot water springs, which could sustain the man for several weeks.
Neelix: Hmm - but not for a whole year.
Tuvok: I concur. Logic dictates that the ensign in question would perish.
Neelix: A-ha! Hahahaha - ha! I stumped you! As a matter of fact, he not only survived, but his belly was full. Why? Because he feasted on "dates" from the calendar!

Neelix: Do you know who I am?
Tuvok: You're Neelix. I'm safe with you.

[Tuvok is going through his personnel file]
Tuvok: I was an instructor at Starfleet Academy; I've received 17 commendations for valor; I'm a husband... a father...
Neelix: You're an extraordinary fellow, Tuvok.
Tuvok: I *was* an extraordinary fellow.

Neelix: Don't worry, Captain - Tuvok will be back to his old self before you can say "Live long and prosper".

Neelix: When is a Vulcan no longer a Vulcan?

[Neelix is desperate because he isn't able to restore Tuvok to his former self]
Seven of Nine: When I was separated from the Collective, I too was damaged. I was no longer connected to the hive mind; I lost many abilities that I had acquired as a drone. But I adapted.
Neelix: Because Captain Janeway didn't give up on you. She kept trying to help you.
Seven of Nine: But not by restoring me to what I'd been; by helping me discover what I could become.

Seven of Nine: How do you find something that's invisible?
Neelix: The Ba'neth.
Seven of Nine: We have the ability to illuminate them. But to do so, we must first locate them, which we cannot accomplish without their cloaking frequency.
Neelix: That's quite a riddle.

[after making contact with the Ba'neth, the Doctor has developed a cure to restore Tuvok]
Neelix: You should be proud of yourself. If you hadn't drawn that picture on the cake, we may never have found a treatment.
Tuvok: I wish I never drew that picture.

Tuvok: I want to be able to have fun! With you! I won't be able to... will I?
Neelix: Well... you won't call it 'fun'. You'll call it 'deriving satisfaction'. But it's basically the same thing. You'll still experience emotions.
Tuvok: But I won't express them.
Neelix: Probably not.
Tuvok: Then how will you know how much I enjoy being with you?
Neelix: You've just told me.

Neelix: Where are you going?
Tuvok: To find some peace and quiet.
Neelix: Have fun!

Neelix: [about the "funny" Tuvok] I'm going to miss him.
The Doctor: Me too.

[last lines]
Tuvok: Sundays.
Neelix: I beg your pardon?
Tuvok: I have given further consideration to your riddle, regarding the ensign who survived by consuming the dates from his calendar. It occurs to me that he could also have eaten the "Sunda-y-es".
Neelix: [intrigued] That's a very clever answer, Mr. Vulcan. - But it's not very logical, is it?
Tuvok: [ponders this] No... it's not.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Jetrel (#1.14)" (1995)
Neelix: Captain, please tell Dr Jetrel that I am touched by his tender concern for my state of health, but that I'd rather be immersed in a pit of Krallinian eels than be examined by him.

Neelix: The night of the cascade, a bright flash cut across the sky, so blinding that... people threw themselves to the ground. And everything stopped, like a moment out of time. Then we all looked up to see where the flash had come from. But... the sky seemed oddly empty. It took most of us a few seconds to realize it was because Rinax was... gone.

Neelix: I had the good fortune to be on Talax at the time, with our defense forces - preparing for an invasion that never came; it wasn't necessary. The day after the cascade was deployed, Talax surrendered unconditionally to the Haakonian Order.

[Janeway tries to persuade Neelix to get screened by Jetrel for the metreon disease]
Captain Kathryn Janeway: If Jetrel discovers you don't have the disease, at least you'll have peace of mind.
Neelix: Peace of mind is a relative thing, Captain.

Neelix: I don't want that man within ten parsecs of me!

Dr. Ma'Bor Jetrel: I'm simply a scientist. Yes, I developed the weapon. But it was the government and the military leaders who decided to use it - not I.
Neelix: That must be a very convenient distinction for you. Does it help you sleep at night?

Neelix: A man goes back to Rinax, after the cascade. Back to what had been his home. To look for survivors. But the impact of the blast has set off hundreds of fires and... there's nothing there. Just smoldering ruins and... the stench of seared flesh. But in the distance, in the middle of all that emptiness, from out of this... huge cloud of billowing dust... he can see bodies moving. Whimpering. Coming toward him. They're monsters - their flesh horribly charred. The color of shale. One of them comes toward him... mangled arms outstretched. And he can't help it, he-he... turns away, frightened. But then the thing speaks. And he knows by the sound of her voice that she's not a monster at all, but a child - a little girl. - Her name was Palaxia. We brought her back to Talax with the other survivors. Over the next few weeks I stayed at her bedside, and watched her wither away. Those are consequences, Dr. Jetrel.

Neelix: Dr. Jetrel will have to find himself another laboratory rodent to help his experiments. Because I would rather die than help you ease your conscience.
Dr. Ma'Bor Jetrel: I do not expect you to like me, Mr. Neelix; nor do I hope to allay your obvious pain with moral arguments. But I do believe I can help you. If not you, others of your race. Isn't that more important than punishing me?

[Janeway and Kes are trying to persuade Neelix to undergo Jetrel's test for metremia]
Neelix: Oh... outnumbered and outflanked. All right then - I surrender.

Neelix: [after learning that he has the metreon disease] There's one good thing that will come from all this. When I first met you, I didn't know that your species only lived eight or nine years. I fell in love with you, without... knowing how lonely it would be to live without you after you're gone. Now that... I'm going to die first, I don't have to worry about it.
Kes: Before I met you, eight or nine years seemed like an eternity. It never occurred to me that anyone could live longer. Now that we're together, no matter how many years we have left, it doesn't seem like enough. But the important thing is to cherish whatever time we have together - whether it's a day or a decade.

Neelix: I hate him. And I don't think I can stop hating him.
Kes: Maybe you have to stop hating yourself first.

Neelix: Did you ever think that maybe your wife was right? That you had become a monster?
Dr. Ma'Bor Jetrel: Yes. The day we tested the cascade, when I saw that blinding light, brighter than a thousand suns - I knew at that moment, exactly what I had become.

[last lines]
[Dr. Jetrel is dying from metremia]
Dr. Ma'Bor Jetrel: I suppose you think... this is a fitting punishment for me.
Neelix: Maybe the cascade was a punishment for all of us - for our... hatred, our brutality. - There's something I need to tell you. I tried to tell you before, but...
Dr. Ma'Bor Jetrel: What... what is it?
Neelix: I want to tell you... that I forgive you.


"Star Trek: Voyager: The Haunting of Deck Twelve (#6.25)" (2000)
Neelix: All right, gather round. But I'm warning you; this is not a tale for the faint of heart.
Mezoti: We're not faint of heart.
Icheb: Our cardiopulmonary systems are reinforced.
Mezoti: So don't leave anything out.

Neelix: [to Tuvok] You're coming with me, if I have to drag you by your pointy little ears!

Neelix: Did I ever tell you about the Salvoxia?
Tuvok: If I say yes, will it prevent you from telling the story?

Neelix: Pleasant thoughts... pleasant thoughts...

Neelix: [describing a dramatic scene] The turbolift started to fall, faster and faster...! Anybody hungry?
Mezoti: [on edge] Neelix!

Neelix: You really shouldn't sneak up on people like that. I could have shot you.
Tuvok: Your restraint is commendable.

Tuvok: Rest assured, this crew is doing everything possible to regain control of the ship.
Neelix: You're right, I'm just being silly.
Tuvok: I concur.

Neelix: It's fair to say that I was never more frightened in my life.

Chakotay: How are the children?
Neelix: Tucked in their alcoves, safe and sound.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: I hope they weren't frightened?
Neelix: Oh, why would they be frightened, Captain?
Captain Kathryn Janeway: They were in the dark for three hours.
Neelix: Oh, no, not to worry! I told them a story to pass the time.
Tom Paris: Let me guess, Mother Goose.
Neelix: Certainly not! Some of those fairy tales can be frightening - ogres and child-eating monsters...

[last lines]
Neelix: [about the alien life form] Well - I hope it lives happily ever after.

Icheb: I wonder what the crew of the Salvoxia did for food, after their emergency rations were gone.
Mezoti: Maybe they ate each other.
Neelix: All right, uh, that's enough!

Neelix: You haven't touched your snacks.
Mezoti: Snacks are irrelevant!


"Star Trek: Voyager: Homestead (#7.23)" (2001)
Tuvok: [at a First Contact Day celebration party] Vulcans do not dance.
Neelix: But it's tradition!
Tuvok: There is no tradition, Mr. Neelix. This ceremony is entirely your invention.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: This is an official ship function, Commander. Don't make me order you to dance.

Neelix: I'm gonna make it my personal mission to get you to dance at least once before we reach Earth.
Tuvok: Then I suggest you find a more productive hobby.
Tom Paris: If you two don't stop it, I'm gonna come back there and separate you.

Neelix: In honor of the 315th anniversary of his ancestors' arrival on Earth, I've asked Mr. Tuvok to recite the first words spoken to Humans by a Vulcan. Commander?
Tuvok: Is this really necessary?
Neelix: You promised!
Tuvok: Very well.
[he performs the Vulcan salute]
Tuvok: "Live long and prosper."

Neelix: [to Dexa and Brax] I've seen your home. I'd like you to see mine.

Neelix: I got to meet some of my people again, even if it was a short visit. Who knows - it's probably the last time I'll ever see another Talaxian.

Neelix: I'm not a fighter. I'm just a cook - who sometimes imagines himself to be a diplomat.
Tuvok: On the contrary, Mr. Neelix. You are much more than that. You are perhaps the most resourceful individual I have ever known.

Captain Kathryn Janeway: Now that we've established two-way communication with Earth... it seems to me, Starfleet could use a permanent ambassador in the Delta Quadrant. This ambassador would have to stay in frequent contact with Voyager.
Neelix: [whispers] Certainly.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: It would be difficult for me to run this ship without you, Neelix. But that might be a sacrifice I'd be willing to make - for the greater good of Starfleet. Of course, the assignment would be entirely voluntary... You wouldn't be interested - would you?

Neelix: Do you want me to tuck you in? Tell you a bedtime story?
Naomi Wildman: You haven't done that in years!
Neelix: Just think of all the stories you've missed.

Captain Kathryn Janeway: You wouldn't be planning anything foolish, would you?
Neelix: Whatever I do, I promise it won't involve Voyager.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: That wasn't my question.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Once Upon a Time (#5.5)" (1998)
Neelix: Coffee, anyone? Captain?
Capt. Kathryn Janeway: No thanks, I've had enough. One more cup and I'll jump to warp.

Naomi Wildman: I don't like sickbay.
Neelix: Why not?
Naomi Wildman: It's full of creepy things - alien organs and hyposprays...
Neelix: Well, that's not true.
Naomi Wildman: The Doctor talks too much.
Neelix: Well, that's his way.
Naomi Wildman: Can't you reprogram him or something?

Naomi Wildman: [of Trevis, the tree monster] He turned out to be very nice. His bark was worse than his bite.
Neelix: [laughs] Where did you learn to make such silly puns?
Naomi Wildman: You.
Neelix: Oh.

Naomi Wildman: [on her mother] Has anybody talked to her?
Neelix: Well... n-not in a day or two, but...
Naomi Wildman: Starfleet Regulation 476-9: "All away teams must report to the bridge at least once every 24 hours."
Neelix: You really are gonna make an excellent Captain's assistant.

Harry Kim: How is she?
Neelix: On the Naomi anxiety scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is a touch of insomnia and 10 is a panic attack - 'bout 5.

Neelix: Do you miss your parents?
Seven of Nine: I barely remember them.
Neelix: Maybe that's a blessing.
[Seven is called away over comm and prepares to leave]
Seven of Nine: I adapted. The child, Naomi, will adapt as well.
Neelix: Borg wisdom.

Capt. Kathryn Janeway: I realize you care about Naomi, and you're only trying to protect her. But you've got to tell her the truth.
Neelix: "Good morning, Naomi, would you like some papalla juice with your cereal? And, oh, by the way, your mother is buried under thirty kilotons of rock."

Neelix: When my family was killed, I lost everything. I... still have nightmares. It hasn't been easy. I don't want Naomi to go through what I did.
Capt. Kathryn Janeway: I understand. And you're right. But this situation is different.
Neelix: How so?
Capt. Kathryn Janeway: Naomi has you.

Neelix: I... I never told you this before; but, when I was much younger, I lost my mom, in a terrible war. My father and my sisters too. It was the worst thing that ever happened to me - always wondering, how did they die? Were they worried about me? Could they still be alive? I thought if I could just keep you from wondering, you wouldn't have to feel what I did.
Naomi Wildman: You were pretending that nothing was wrong. That nothing bad happened. Do you ever pretend that nothing bad happened to *your* family?
Neelix: Sometimes.
Naomi Wildman: Does it help?
Neelix: Not really.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Fair Trade (#3.13)" (1997)
Neelix: I've heard you were in some trouble in the past - spent time in prison.
Lieutenant Tom Paris: That's right.
Neelix: Do you... Would you... tell me how you got in trouble?
Lieutenant Tom Paris: I've thought a lot about that. And it comes down to one simple fact: I didn't tell the truth. I made a mistake, which happens to people. But if I'd admitted that mistake it would have been a lot better. But I lied about it; and it nearly ruined my life.

Neelix: Voyager is a wonderful place to be. People here are very fortunate.

Neelix: Ensign Vorik.
Ensign Vorik: Yes, Mr. Neelix?
Neelix: You're quite young. Is it difficult for you being so far away from everything that's familiar?
Ensign Vorik: Had I been given the choice, I might not have chosen to explore the Delta Quadrant. However, since we are here - I must say the challenges are intriguing.

[Neelix has decided to tell Bahrat the truth about the murder]
Wixiban: We'll end up in his cryostatic prison for decades.
Neelix: Not if he agrees to my plan.
Wixiban: Your plan is crazy. It's worse than prison; it's a death sentence!
Neelix: That would be better than living a lie.

Captain Kathryn Janeway: [on Neelix's suggestion to leave Voyager] You can't just walk away from your responsibilities because you made a mistake. You're part of a family now, and you have obligations.
Neelix: But... I can't guide you. I can't advise you; I don't know what's coming.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Well, that's not the point - is it? None of us knows what's coming. That's what Starfleet is all about. We are all in this together, Neelix; and we have to be able to count on each other, no matter how hard it gets.

Neelix: If we are able to turn them over to you, will you agree not to charge us with a crime?
Bahrat: It's no risk to me. You'll undoubtedly perish in this ridiculous scheme.

[last lines]
Captain Kathryn Janeway: We are all in this together, Neelix. And we have to be able to count on each other no matter how hard it gets. Do you understand?
Neelix: Yes, Captain.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Well, that's good. Report to deuterium maintenance at 0600 hours tomorrow morning. You're going to spend the next two weeks scrubbing the exhaust manifolds. That should give you some time to think about what I've said. Dismissed.

Neelix: [Neelix was supposed to steal some warp plasma from Voyager so he and Wixiban could appease some Kolaati traders] I couldn't do it. I just couldn't.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Repentance (#7.13)" (2001)
Warden Yediq: What's this?
Neelix: Dinner. Since you can't bring the prisoners to the mess hall, I brought the mess hall to them.
Warden Yediq: What is it?
Neelix: Talaxian spice stew, served over leola rice pilaf. It's an old family recipe.
Warden Yediq: Take it back.
Neelix: [sniffs at the food] Too spicy?

Joleg: It's common knowledge that all Benkarans are criminals. So when I was found in the vicinity of a murder, I was immediately arrested.
Neelix: Are you saying you didn't do it?
Joleg: I told you - I'm Benkaran. What I say... doesn't matter.

Joleg: After you're convicted, the family of the victim sentences you.
Neelix: Well, shouldn't you be sentenced by someone less partial, like a judge?
Joleg: Vekto valek k'vadim. It's ancient Nygean; it means 'favor the victims'. - What if... I stole your game board? What right would a judge have to assign a value to your loss? To him, it's just a game board. But to you, it might be a priceless family possession. And what if I murdered your child?
Neelix: I think I get your point.

Tom Paris: Do you have to be a criminal to get something to eat around here?
Neelix: Sorry, dinner will be ready in fifteen minutes.
B'Elanna Torres: You said that fifteen minutes ago.

Neelix: Did you know the Nygeans govern a sector of space occupied by several different humanoid species?
Tom Paris: If we say yes, will you feed us?

[Neelix has taken Joleg's side]
Tom Paris: Neelix...
Neelix: I know what you're thinking.
Tom Paris: That you're the softest touch in the Delta Quadrant.

Tom Paris: Neelix, when I was in the Federation penal colony, everybody had a story. I never put much stock in them. Neither should you.
Neelix: How many of those people were sentenced to die?


"Star Trek: Voyager: Parturition (#2.7)" (1995)
Neelix: [while fighting with Tom Paris] I'll kill you!
Tom Paris: It's too late! I'm betting your hair-pasta already did the trick!

Tom Paris: She loves you, Neelix. I wouldn't stand a chance, nobody would.
Neelix: There are others?

Tom Paris: There's a whole course at the Academy full of all sorts of survival strategies.
Neelix: I hope you had a passing grade?
Tom Paris: B minus.
Neelix: That's not very encouraging.
Tom Paris: My father was teaching the class that year.
Neelix: And he gave you a B minus? I guess he didn't play favorites, huh?

Neelix: Tell me something - in that Starfleet survival course, did your father teach you to check for life signs before you seal yourself inside a cave?

Kes: What happened?
Tom Paris: I became an uncle.
Neelix: And I'm a godmother!

Neelix: I feel I owe you an apology.
Tom Paris: No, you don't.
Neelix: I had no right to push that pasta in your lap.
Tom Paris: Well - think of it this way: it saved me from having to eat it.

Captain Kathryn Janeway: [having summoned Paris and Neelix, Janeway is surprised to see them covered in pasta and sauce] Would anyone care to explain?
Tom Paris: It might be too long to go into right now, Captain.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Very well. I have a mission for the two of you. We have reason to believe that there are food sources on this planet, but we can't transport to the surface. You're going to take a shuttle down and do a little scouting.
Neelix: Me? And him?
Captain Kathryn Janeway: He's our best pilot, and you're our expert on edible plant species in this quadrant.
Tom Paris: Uh, Captain, I'm not one to pass up a mission, but in this circumstance, maybe Ensign Baytart, who is a fine pilot...
Captain Kathryn Janeway: There are electro-magnetic anomalies in the atmosphere, and I would rather have you at the helm. Am I discerning a personal problem here, gentlemen?
Neelix: Frankly, yes, Captain.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Solve it. You leave at 1400 hours.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Waking Moments (#4.13)" (1998)
B'Elanna Torres: I wonder what a Vulcan nightmare would be like.
Neelix: Alone, exiled, on a planet where the only form of communication... is laughter.

Tom Paris: Neelix - did you have a rough night or something?
Neelix: Why do you ask?
Tom Paris: Because you just poured me a steaming cup of cooking oil.

Neelix: ...And the next thing I knew, I was being boiled alive in a pot of my own leola root stew.
B'Elanna Torres: Talk about a nightmare!
Neelix: Well, it was perfectly seasoned.

B'Elanna Torres: We were just trading dream stories.
Neelix: Tell us yours.
Harry Kim: Oh, it was... nothing very interesting, just the usual... You know...
B'Elanna Torres: Who was she, Harry?
[Harry stares at her flabbergasted]
Harry Kim: The woman of my dreams!

Captain Janeway: Wait a minute... If Chakotay was dreaming and he woke up - what are we doing here?
Tuvok: Perhaps we are dreaming as well.
B'Elanna Torres: Now I'm lost.
Neelix: You're not the only one.

Neelix: Maybe this is all one person's dream. If for example mine, and none of you are really here.
B'Elanna Torres: Trust me, Neelix, I wish I weren't, but I'm here.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Caretaker (#1.1)" (1995)
Tuvok: The Federation is made up of many cultures. I am Vulcan.
Neelix: Neelix. Good to meet you!
[hugs Tuvok]

Tuvok: Perhaps you would care for a bath.
Neelix: A what?

Neelix: Whatever you need is what I have to offer. You need a guide - I'm your guide. You need supplies - I know where to procure them. I have friends among races you don't even know exist. You need a cook? Oh, you haven't lived until you've tasted my Angla'bosque! It will be my job to anticipate your needs before you know you have them. And I anticipate your first need... will be me!

Neelix: Let me guess: you were whisked away from somewhere else in the galaxy and brought here against your will.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: It sounds as though you've heard this story before.
Neelix: Sadly yes - thousands of times. Well, hundreds of times. Maybe fifty of times.

Neelix: Do these, uh... replicators make clothing as well?
Tuvok: Yes.
Neelix: Will it make me a uniform like yours?
Tuvok: No. It most certainly will not.

Neelix: [introducing himself] Neelix. And since you're not interested in my debris, I'm delighted to know you!
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Captain Kathryn Janeway, of the Federation starship Voyager.
Neelix: A very impressive title. I have no idea what it means, but it sounds very impressive.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Friendship One (#7.21)" (2001)
[the Doctor and Tom are giving inoculations against radiation to the away team when B'Elanna enters sickbay]
The Doctor: If you're here for your fetal resonance scan, you're a day early.
B'Elanna Torres: I'm here for my inoculation.
Tom Paris: You are not going on this mission.
B'Elanna Torres: Chakotay said he needed an engineer.
Tom Paris: He's already got one.
B'Elanna Torres: Now he's got two.
Tom Paris: [to the Doctor] Will you excuse us?
[Tom and B'Elanna go outside]
Neelix: Any bets on this one?
Chakotay: My money's on B'Elanna.

Neelix: I thought these caves were naturally shielded.
Tom Paris: They're no substitute for an environmental suit.
Lieutenant Joe Carey: These people have lived here all their lives without environmental suits.
Neelix: These people have lived here without much of anything.

Neelix: Just between us, I understand why you don't trust Humans.
Verin: Then why are you with them?
Neelix: They're not so bad once you get to know them. When I first met them, I thought they were arrogant, self-righteous.
Verin: I suppose you're gonna tell me you've changed your mind.
Neelix: Well, not completely. I still think they take themselves far too seriously for my taste. But one thing they don't do is harm other people.

Neelix: [during a bumpy ride through a planet's atmosphere] I had a cousin who used to transport disulfides from a gas giant. He claimed to love the turbulence. Of course, disulfides are known to cause delusions.

Neelix: I know what you've been through. My planet was destroyed by a weapon called a metreon cascade. Hundreds of thousands of people were killed - including my family.
Verin: How did you survive?
Neelix: I was on a neighboring planet when the weapon was detonated. I went back with a rescue team; but there was no one left.
Verin: I'm sorry about what happened to your family. But don't compare your life to mine.

Chakotay: [the Flyer is having a bumpy ride on an away mission] Set us down, Tom.
Tom Paris: Yes, sir.
Neelix: Gently, please.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Elogium (#2.4)" (1995)
[Kes gives Neelix mashed potatoes to taste]
Neelix: A... Awful! How can you eat it?
Kes: I can't stop eating it. I've had six bowls! And the reason it tastes so strange, I've put a container of nitrogenated soil in it.
Neelix: Dirt? You're eating dirt?

Neelix: [about Paris] I see the way he looks at you. I used to look at women that way, I know what it means.

[Kes has locked herself in the Doctor's office]
Neelix: Kes, please come out. You can eat anything you want.

Neelix: Captain, may I speak with you? It's a matter of some urgency.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: What is it, Neelix?
Neelix: I have been thrown out of sickbay!

Lieutenant Tuvok: What is the lunch special today?
Neelix: Well, actually, I didn't get around to making a lunch special. But we have some lovely gabarosti stew left over from last night.
Lieutenant Tuvok: Very well. It will do.
Neelix: I've... had quite a run on it, as a matter of fact. It seems very popular.
Lieutenant Tuvok: If it is all you are serving, that would stand to reason.

Neelix: [the prospect of fatherhood] It's just all happening so fast. I don't know what to think.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Rise (#3.19)" (1997)
Neelix: You have no feelings for me. But you have feelings against me. For three years, you've ridiculed me and made it obvious to everyone that you have no respect for me. And I've tolerated it. You know why? You know why? Because you are smarter than I am, Tuvok - and more logical and... stronger and superior in almost every way. And I admire you. But you don't have any instincts, you don't have any gut feelings. And you don't really understand people. But non-Vulcans have feelings, and they have to listen to them, and I've got to listen to mine!

[last lines]
Lieutenant Tuvok: Your instincts were correct. However - one day your intuition will fail, and you will finally understand that logic is primary above all else. Instinct is simply another term for serendipity.
Neelix: And one day, Mr. Vulcan, I'll get you to trust your gut.
Lieutenant Tuvok: That is doubtful.
Neelix: [gayly] We'll see.
[is about to walk away]
Lieutenant Tuvok: Your attempts have yet to succeed.
Neelix: You always have to get in that last word, don't you?
Lieutenant Tuvok: I am simply responding to your erroneous statement.
Neelix: Something tells me you just hate to lose an argument.
[walks out the kitchen door]
Lieutenant Tuvok: Losing is irrelevant.
Neelix: [popping his head through the door again] See what I mean?
[leaves for good]
Lieutenant Tuvok: No. I do not.

Neelix: [referring to Tuvok] It's strange. But I really like him. I just wish the feeling were mutual.

[Tuvok urges Neelix, who has been injured, to get the carriage moving again]
Neelix: I don't think I can do it.
Lieutenant Tuvok: You must.
Neelix: I can barely keep my eyes open.
Lieutenant Tuvok: Do it... for Alixia. She would be proud of you.
Neelix: I'm glad to see your interpersonal skills are improving.
[he gets up with Tuvok's help]
Neelix: You're learning how to motivate people.

Nezu Ambassador: What happened to you down there? Where's Sklar?
Neelix: Mr. Sklar... returned to the surface.

Neelix: [Tuvok has assigned Neelix to examine the outside of their crashed shuttle] He's really a very pleasant fellow once you get to know him. And intelligent. I'm sure he'll have the comm. system up and running...
Lieutenant Tuvok: Neelix!
Neelix: ...on my way.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Phage (#1.4)" (1995)
[Neelix is lying in sickbay in a full body-restraint]
Neelix: Well, mm... if I'm gonna be in here a while, now is as good a time as any to tell you. Your ceiling is hideous!

Neelix: [to the Doctor] And some music would be nice. Or better yet, are you programmed to sing?

Neelix: [about Paris] He's just... one big hormone walking around the ship.

Neelix: I feel like I'm all alone.
The Doctor: You *are* all alone. I'm a holographic projection - a projection with a lot of work to do, I might add.

The Doctor: [bending over Neelix] Don't worry, I'm not going to kiss you. I'm only adjusting the restraint.
Neelix: [sarcastically] I'll try to contain my disappointment.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Course: Oblivion (#5.18)" (1999)
[first lines]
Neelix: [At Tom and B'Elanna's wedding] Are you sure this rice isn't supposed to be cooked? Steamed? Fried...
The Doctor: The idea is to shower the couple with a symbol of good fortune, not garnish them like a roast chicken.

Neelix: Here's a lovely program modelled after a mountain resort on the fifth moon of Cytrax. Just you, B'Elanna, and the crickets.
Tom Paris: Crickets?
Neelix: Cytraxian crickets. Their song is reputed to be an auditory aphrodisiac.
Tom Paris: A-ha. Well, between you and me, B'Elanna and I don't need aphrodisiacs.
[both laugh]

[Neelix makes exotic suggestions for Tom's and B'Elanna's honeymoon]
Tom Paris: I was hoping for some place a little more down-to-earth.
Neelix: Well, it's your honeymoon. Just how down-to-earth did you mean?
Tom Paris: Earth!

Tom Paris: Let me let you in on a little secret, Neelix: Earth has the best vacation spots in the galaxy; it's got the cultures, the climates, the history, the people - it has everything you ever want in a planet.
Neelix: You sound like a travel brochure.
Tom Paris: No. No. Just a native.

[Janeway has appointed Neelix to be Medical Officer]
Neelix: What about my other duties?
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Make sickbay your priority. Huh... At this point, morale is a luxury.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Memorial (#6.14)" (2000)
[Chakotay, Paris, Kim and Neelix return from an away mission with the Delta Flyer]
Harry Kim: If I ever volunteer for a two-week away mission again, would somebody please confine me to sickbay?
Chakotay: Too much togetherness for you, Harry?
Harry Kim: Nothing personal, Commander.
Neelix: To tell you the truth, I've enjoyed our little junket together. It's given the four of us a chance to bond.
Harry Kim: The bonding stopped when the sonic shower went offline.

Neelix: Seven... when you were a Borg, you were involved in some... unpleasant activities.
Seven of Nine: I helped to assimilate millions.
Neelix: I don't mean to be insensitive; but... do you ever feel shame... about what you did?
Seven of Nine: Frequently.
Neelix: How do you manage to keep going, knowing that you've done such horrible things?
Seven of Nine: I have no choice.
Neelix: Guilt is irrelevant?
Seven of Nine: On the contrary. My feelings of remorse help me remember what I did, and prevent me from taking similar actions in the future. Guilt can be a difficult but useful emotion.

[Chakotay has suggested they shut down the memorial's transmitter that has caused their war memories]
Neelix: Someone put a lot of time and care into building that transmitter. We can't just deactivate it, we don't have the right!
Harry Kim: Did they have the right to force us to relive all that?
Neelix: They wanted others to know what it was like, in the hopes that nothing like it would happen again.
Chakotay: Why should anyone have to experience an atrocity they didn't commit?
Neelix: Because that's how you learn not to make the same mistake. If we destroy the evidence, we're no better than Saavdra.

Neelix: This isn't about logic. It's about remembering!
Chakotay: Some things are best forgotten.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Not this. I stood by once before and did nothing. Not again.

Neelix: Think of the great explorers that came before us! They survived without creature comforts!
Harry Kim: I wouldn't want to bunk with them, either.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Macrocosm (#3.12)" (1996)
Neelix: It's getting awfully hot in here.
Captain Janeway: When environmental controls fail, heat from the warp plasma conduits can't be vented. Expect a heat wave before long.
Neelix: No problem, I'm used to it. I grew up near the Rinax marshlands. Our summers were the hottest in the sector. 50 degrees Celsius at 90 percent humidity, and the most vicious lavaflies you've ever seen.
Captain Janeway: Summers in Indiana were pretty similar when I was growing up.
Neelix: Except that we had three suns, and the lavaflies grew to be six centimeters long.
Captain Janeway: Six centimeters, eh?
Neelix: Insect repellent was a booming business.

[first lines]
Tak Tak: Good health, strong body, clear mind.
Neelix: And you - your hospitality, your generosity, your patience - many thanks.

Captain Janeway: You have a genuine flair for diplomacy, Mr. Neelix. I may have to promote you - from morale officer to ambassador. With all the species we're bound to meet, I could use a man like you at the front door.
Neelix: Ambassador Neelix - I like the sound of that.

[Janeway and Neelix are examining a hole in a floor panel, with a mucilaginous substance in it]
Captain Janeway: Well, Ambassador - I'd say we've got an unexpected guest.
Neelix: Somehow I don't think he's the diplomatic type.

Neelix: [referring to the multiple humming outside the turbo lift] Uh, Captain - it sounds like our guest has brought a few friends.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Live Fast and Prosper (#6.21)" (2000)
[Neelix and Paris have set up a shell game to fool the Doctor]
The Doctor: This looks like an interesting game. May I have a turn?
Tom Paris: Well, be my guest. But, um... you'll have to wager something.
The Doctor: [to Neelix] If I win, you take three duty shifts in sickbay.
Neelix: And if I win, you take three shifts in the kitchen.
The Doctor: Done.
Neelix: Ready?
[he resets the game and begins shuffling the cups]
Neelix: Now, watch carefully. Round and round they go. Follow the tera nut if you can, but be careful, the hand is faster than the eye.
Tom Paris: Careful, Doc, try not to blink.
The Doctor: Don't you worry, Mr. Paris. You have to get up pretty early in the morning to fool my optical subroutines.
[Neelix finishes shuffling]
Neelix: Where is it, then?
The Doctor: In your left palm.
[and to the other gamblers' great bafflement, he turns Neelix's left hand around, which indeed contains the nut]
Tom Paris: How did you...?
The Doctor: Superior visual acuity. See you in sickbay.

Tom Paris: Why didn't we see this coming?
Neelix: Orphans! It's the oldest gambit in the book!
Tom Paris: I-I mean, if it'd been Harry, I could understand it, he trusts everybody; but you and me?

Dala: I cheated you. Why are you being so kind to me?
Neelix: Like my great-grandmother used to say: it's nice to be nice.

[last lines]
Neelix: [shuffling the cups] ... Round and round they go. Follow the tera nut if you can, but remember, the hand is sharper than your visual acuity.
The Doctor: I thought we'd already disproved that theory.
Neelix: You tell me.
The Doctor: [sighs] The tera nut is firmly entrenched up your right sleeve.
[Paris laughs triumphantly, and Neelix shows the Doctor his empty sleeve]
Neelix: [smugly] Sorry.
[the Doctor inspects it, then turns up all cups, yet doesn't find the nut]
The Doctor: [baffled] That's impossible!
Tom Paris: The old hand-off.
[and from behind the Doctor's ear, he conjures - the nut]
The Doctor: That's cheating!
[leaves angrily]
Neelix: [to Paris] We've still got it!

[last lines]
Neelix: [shuffling the cups] ... Round and round they go. Follow the tera nut if you can, but remember, the hand is sharper than your visual acuity.
The Doctor: I thought we'd already disproved that theory.
Neelix: You tell me.
The Doctor: [sighs] The tera nut is firmly entrenched up your right sleeve.
[Paris laughs triumphantly, and Neelix shows the Doctor his empty sleeve]
Neelix: [sneering] Sorry.
[the Doctor inspects it, then turns up all cups, yet doesn't find the nut]
The Doctor: [baffled] That's impossible!
Tom Paris: The old handoff.
[and from behind the Doctor's ear, he conjures - the nut]
Neelix: Ooh.
The Doctor: That's cheating!
[leaves angrily]
Neelix: [to Paris] We've still got it!


"Star Trek: Voyager: Juggernaut (#5.21)" (1999)
[Neelix has prepared a brew against radiation poisoning; he takes a careful sip and almost vomits]
Neelix: Once you get past the... the choking reflex, it's really not... it's really not so bad. Want to try some?
Chakotay: [looking disgusted] No, I'll take my chances.

Neelix: The next time I volunteer to board a Malon freighter, check me into sickbay and have my head examined.

[Neelix finds B'Elanna kneeling in solitude]
Neelix: If you need to rest...
B'Elanna Torres: [tetchily] I said I'm fine!
[pause]
B'Elanna Torres: [calmer] I was... meditating.
Neelix: Meditating?
[cackles]
Neelix: You?
B'Elanna Torres: Do me a favor, don't tell Tuvok.

B'Elanna Torres: I feel like I'm ready to explode.
Neelix: We'll get through this together. I've got a knack for diffusing explosive situations.


"Star Trek: Voyager: The Cloud (#1.5)" (1995)
Kes: I don't think the Captain is an idiot. She cares a great deal about her crew.
Neelix: You don't 'care a great deal' about your crew and introduce them to the spectre of death at every opportunity.

Captain Kathryn Janeway: Neelix - do we have any coffee left?
Neelix: No. But we have something even better!
Captain Kathryn Janeway: I don't want something even better, I want coffee!

Kes: Do all nebulas look like that?
Neelix: I wouldn't know. I'm smart enough to go around nebulas when I encounter them!
Kes: These people are natural born explorers, Neelix.
Neelix: These people are natural born *idiots*, if you ask me! They don't appreciate what they have here. This ship is the match of any vessel within a hundred light years, and what do they do with it?
Neelix: [mimicking] "Well, uh, let's see if we can't find some space anomaly today that might rip it apart!"

Captain Kathryn Janeway: [after Neelix has requested to stay behind during the 'nebula'-mission] All our crews are busy preparing for this mission. I'm not pulling them off their duties to prepare your ship for launch, and I'm not gonna drop you off on the side of the road every time we hit a bump. When we're finished, if you wanna leave, that's your business. But for the moment, find yourself a seat with a good view; because - just like Jonah and the whale - you're going in.
Neelix: Is that final?
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Dismissed.
[Neelix stays put, confused]
Captain Kathryn Janeway: That's a Starfleet expression for 'get out'!


"Star Trek: Voyager: Someone to Watch Over Me (#5.22)" (1999)
B'Elanna Torres: [angry that Seven has been studying her and Tom's relationship] I want all the data you've collected.
Seven of Nine: I haven't completed the study.
B'Elanna Torres: Then study this: Borg provokes Klingon. Klingon breaks Borg nose.
Neelix: B'Elanna!
B'Elanna Torres: [to Neelix] Call sickbay. Tell them there's about to be a medical emergency.

Chakotay: Is it my imagination, or is our guest of honor drunk?
Neelix: Commander, I tried! I had an itinerary, I even set up a prayer dais in his quarters. But I just couldn't control him. The Captain is due back in the morning with the Kadi minister. What do I do?
Chakotay: Pray.

Tomin: Who is that extraordinary female?
Neelix: Seven of Nine.
Tomin: I want to meet her.
Neelix: Take a number.

Tomin: Neelix, you've been most patient.
Neelix: Well, that's my job. And it isn't over yet.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Projections (#2.3)" (1995)
The Doctor: You're injured.
Neelix: [looks at the red substance on his shoulder] Aaaah! Aah! Oh! What's wrong? Is it serious?
The Doctor: Don't panic, Mr Neelix. It looks superficial.
Neelix: Am I going to die?
The Doctor: [inspects the substance] Not unless you're allergic to tomatoes. That isn't blood. It's some kind of sauce.
Neelix: [tastes the sauce] Nondoran tomato paste. Ooh, that'll leave a nasty stain.

Neelix: [after defeating a Kazon in the kitchen] No-one gets the best of me in my kitchen!

Neelix: You're bleeding.
The Doctor: [derisively] Bleeding? That's impossible.
[he wipes blood from his neck though, leaving him stunned]
Neelix: Don't panic, Doctor. It looks superficial.
The Doctor: I'm not programed to bleed.
Neelix: Maybe you should check your program.

Neelix: What's it like to stare death in the face, Kazon?


"Star Trek: Voyager: Twisted (#2.6)" (1995)
[the crew has organized a surprise birthday party for Kes in Sandrine's Bar]
Neelix: Imagine, two years old today! If you ask me, you don't look a day over one.

Neelix: My tracking skills are legendary throughout the quadrant.

[Kes is trying in vain to find her quarters]
Neelix: Kes, my sweet, you have many wonderful attributes. Your sense of direction is not one of them.

[last lines]
Kes: Neelix, I need a photograph of you.
Neelix: What for, sweeting?
Kes: From now on, even when we're separated, I want to have you where I can keep an eye on you.
Neelix: Happy birthday, Kes.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Investigations (#2.20)" (1996)
[first lines]
Neelix: Good day, Voyager! And welcome to "A Briefing with Neelix".

Ensign Harry Kim, Neelix: It's the job of a journalist to be independent.

Neelix: I want to tell you about a friend of mine. I first met this man almost a year ago, and to tell you the truth, I didn't like him much. He seemed a little too cocky, little too sure of himself. A lot of people had questions about him. He'd proven he'd pretty much sell himself out to the highest bidder, go wherever the wind blew him. So people wondered, could you trust this person when things got tough? Would he stand side by side with you, or would he let you down, when you needed him most? But the fact of the matter is - he proved himself, right from the beginning. I wouldn't be alive right now, if it weren't for him; and the same goes for many of you. It took me a while to realize it. Like a lot of people, I was... too caught up in first impressions, to see the truth that was right in front of me. I overlooked his bravery, because I was focusing on his brashness. I ignored his courage, because I saw it as arrogance. And I resented his friendliness because I mistook it for licentiousness. So, while this man was giving us his best every minute of every day, I was busy judging him. And now he's leaving. I'm proud to say that in spite of my narrow-mindedness, Thomas Eugene Paris became my friend. I'm gonna miss him. No more laughs over a game of pool. No more sitting up into the wee hours swapping stories. No more complaints about my cooking! Goodbye, Tom. I think I speak for more of us than you might imagine when I say you're gonna leave an empty space when you go. I hope you find what you're looking for.

Neelix: [Janeway and Tuvok are watching Neelix's intraship broadcast] My friends, I derive no satisfaction from what I am about to tell you. I know I originally promised you that I would only bring you good news. However, I feel it's important that you know the truth. I have uncovered evidence that casts serious doubt on the loyalties of Lieutenant Thomas Paris. I have discovered secret communications to the Kazon that were sent from his quarters just prior to his leaving the ship. There were a series of messages sent to the Kazon for some weeks...
Captain Kathryn Janeway: [over Neelix's broadcast] Get him up here. Now.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Drone (#5.2)" (1998)
[Torres is concerned with the drone's development]
Neelix: It will become what we help it to become.
B'Elanna Torres: [mocking] Mm! How Starfleet of you!

One: Seven of Nine tells me my designation is irrelevant.
Neelix: I disagree. You should... you should choose a name for yourself, something that defines who you are. After all, there's only one of you.
One: One.

One: Tell me about the Borg.
Neelix: Er, well, what's to tell? You've seen one cybernetically enhanced species, you've seen them all.

[Neelix and One are passing a woman]
One: She was frightened by me.
Neelix: Why do you say that?
One: I detected an elevation in her pheromonal response.
Neelix: Well, you're new around here. An unfamiliar face takes some getting used to. I remember when I first came aboard Voyager, I provoked a few strange reactions myself. I still do from time to time. I mean, just look at me - whiskers and spots, ha!
One: Were people afraid of you as well?
Neelix: Well, no.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Workforce: Part 2 (#7.17)" (2001)
[the Doctor is trying to bring B'Elanna's memories back]
Neelix: I wish I could help.
The Doctor: Maybe you can. She'll require several treatments. In between, you could expose her to familiar sights and surroundings.
Neelix: Say no more. I'll take her on a whirlwind tour of her own life.

Neelix: You know, sometimes food is like time travel. You inhale an aroma, take a bite of something and suddenly, bam! you're back at the moment you first tasted it!

Neelix: What're you reading?
B'Elanna Torres: Personal logs.
Neelix: Do you remember recording any of them?
B'Elanna Torres: Oh, they're not mine, they're Tom's.
Neelix: Those are supposed to be private.
B'Elanna Torres: Well, he is my husband.
Neelix: What are they saying?
B'Elanna Torres: They're private.

Neelix: How do you feel?
B'Elanna Torres: It's still a little foggy.
Neelix: The fog should lift, as soon as the Doctor finishes your treatments.
B'Elanna Torres: Yeah... But what about the guy who recorded these logs?


"Star Trek: Voyager: Barge of the Dead (#6.3)" (1999)
[Neelix offers Paris a dish of gagh]
Neelix: Sop joq jiH yuv gagh drek!
B'Elanna Torres: He said eat this, or he'll force it down the gullet of your corpse.
Neelix: No offense.
Tom Paris: Ah, none taken. So, this is replicated, right?
Neelix: Unfortunately.
Tom Paris: And how do you get it to... move?
Neelix: I used a kinesthetic agent to give it a little oomph.

Neelix: Fifteen decks; computers augmented with bio-neural circuitry; top cruising speed warp 9.975 - not that you'll be going anywhere.

B'Elanna Torres: I don't consider Voyager hell!
Neelix: Are you sure? Have you ever been truly happy here? If you thought fifty years aboard this ship would be difficult, try eternity.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Alice (#6.5)" (1999)
Seven of Nine: Cultural artifacts?
Neelix: According to Abaddon, they're lost treasures of the Delta Quadrant. If you ask me, they're worthless trinkets.
Seven of Nine: [examining one of the artifacts] Perhaps not. This crystal is beryllium.
Neelix: Valuable?
Seven of Nine: Beryllium is the standard currency in spatial grid 5-3-9. There are species that would trade an entire fleet of starships for this "trinket".
Neelix: If Abaddon knew about this, he'd never have traded it for a few plasma couplings. Maybe I should return it.
Seven of Nine: Need I remind you: "All trades are final."

Neelix: There's nothing like having your own ship. I remember when I first laid eyes on my little freighter, Baxial.
Tom Paris: No, don't tell me - love at first sight!
Neelix: Actually, I thought she was the ugliest thing I ever saw.
[both laugh]
Neelix: But she grew on me. Eventually, I, I couldn't imagine being without her. You know, she's still down in the shuttle bay. Why don't we get her and Alice together and go on a double date?
Tom Paris: Yeah. You pack the picnic basket, I'll bring the deuterium.

Chakotay: I'm Commander Chakotay, this is Mister Neelix.
Neelix: Welcome to Voyager!
Abaddon: "Neelix", is it? You wouldn't be a fellow trader, would you?
Neelix: What makes you say that?
Abaddon: Cheerful demeanor, furtive eyes... it's obvious you're a man of commerce!


"Star Trek: Voyager: Tuvix (#2.24)" (1996)
Neelix: You know something? You're acting more Tuvokian than usual this morning.
Lieutenant Tuvok: I am who I am, Mr. Neelix. It is impossible for me to be more or less like myself.

Neelix: I've been studying Vulcan music. Uh... do you know that lovely tune that starts...
Neelix: [sings] Oh, starless night of boundless black...
Lieutenant Tuvok: That "lovely tune" is a traditional funeral dirge.

Lieutenant Tuvok: Mr. Neelix.
Neelix: Yeah?
Lieutenant Tuvok: Do you think you could possibly behave a little less like yourself?


"Star Trek: Voyager: State of Flux (#1.10)" (1995)
[Neelix has given Chakotay leola root to taste; yet after one bite he spits it out again]
Commander Chakotay: You expect us to eat this?
Neelix: This is the reason I brought you here, Commander! There's no better source of vitamins or minerals in the quadrant than in this... this ugly little root.
Commander Chakotay: I'd find the second best source acceptable if it tasted better.
Neelix: [laughing] You Humans! You're not used to roughing it, are you? Well, you take it from one who knows. The day may come when you'll relish every last crunch of leola. Stewed for a few hours in a light herbal broth, ah, you wouldn't even notice the mildew.

Neelix: Never judge a fruit by its skin.

[Seska has revealed to Chakotay that she has served him food stolen out of Neelix's kitchen]
Commander Chakotay: Thanks for including me in a criminal conspiracy! Does he know about this yet?
Seska: Well, the morale crisis ended a few minutes ago, so I'd say...
Neelix: [over communicator] Neelix to Chakotay!
Seska: ...that he probably does.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Thirty Days (#5.9)" (1998)
Tom Paris: Leola root stew again? That's the third time this week! Can't you just replicate me a pizza?
Neelix: Sorry, Tom. Basic nutrition only. Captain's orders.
Tom Paris: Bread and water, huh?

Tom Paris: [starts doing push-ups] 1... 2... 3...
[Neelix enters the brig]
Tom Paris: ...98... 99... 100!
Neelix: Staying in shape?
Tom Paris: Oh, yeah. I do it every time I'm in jail.

Tom Paris: So, did you ask the warden about those holodeck privileges?
Neelix: Er, she said, and I quote: "Tell Mr. Paris, this is punishment, not shore leave."
Tom Paris: Was worth a try.
Neelix: Well, see you next meal.
Tom Paris: Wait, leaving already? Er... pull up a chair, stay awhile.
Neelix: Sorry. "No non-essential conversation with the prisoner."
Tom Paris: Do the words 'cruel' and 'unusual' mean anything to her? I'm telling you, Neelix, the inmates are getting restless. She's gonna have a full-blown prison riot on her hands.
[Paris is the only prisoner in the brig]


"Star Trek: Voyager: Nightingale (#7.8)" (2000)
Neelix: Didn't we already scan this nebula?
Seven of Nine: Four times.
Harry Kim: I thought the Borg were known for being thorough.
Seven of Nine: The Borg value efficiency, not redundancy.

Neelix: I was dreaming we found the dilithium 'n' were back aboard Voyager.
Seven of Nine: Dreaming is an accurate description.

[last lines]
Neelix: So, what'll it be tonight? I have a light tula cheese soufflé or a zesty lasagna.
Harry Kim: You know, Neelix, the truth is, I'm not sure.
Neelix: I thought we talked about this. A captain has to be deci...
Harry Kim: I'm not a captain, Neelix. - Not yet, anyway.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Tsunkatse (#6.15)" (2000)
[a big bowl with yellow fluid stands in the kitchen]
B'Elanna Torres: Tell me that's not lunch.
Neelix: It's leola ointment for my skin.
Chakotay: What happened?
Neelix: I... I was so excited to visit one of those beautiful Norcadian beaches, uh, that I forgot to take my dermaline hypospray. I fell asleep - under... two suns.
B'Elanna Torres: Ouch.
Neelix: It's a... a little more color than I was hoping for, but it'll be a beautiful amber before you know it.

[Neelix is considering whether to visit a museum of entomology or a Tsunkatse match]
Neelix: Alien bugs or alien fisticuffs? Oh, that's a tough one.

Neelix: It's hard to believe, a-a-a civilization, whose favorite pastime is cheering while innocent people fight each other.
Chakotay: If Seven and Tuvok hadn't been abducted, we might still be cheering too.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Before and After (#3.21)" (1997)
[Neelix is cutting a Jimbalian fudge]
Neelix: You know, I haven't made one of these since... well, since I became Security Officer.
Lieutenant Tuvok: Perhaps you would care to relinquish your commission and return to the scene of your former 'triumphs'.

Neelix: So, I'm going to become a security officer. How about that?
Lieutenant Tuvok: Fortunately, Mr. Neelix, what Kes has been describing is merely one possible future. On each occasion that she jumped to a previous time, her subsequent actions most likely altered the future from that moment on.
Neelix: Good point, Tuvok. Maybe I'll turn out to be Chief Security Officer.

Neelix: You keep working on that sense of humour, Commander Vulcan. You'll get it one of these days.


"Star Trek: Voyager: 11:59 (#5.23)" (1999)
[Seven has found the name of one of her ancestors in the database, yet doesn't feel any connection to him]
Neelix: The point is, there's some of him in you, just as there'll be some of you in your descendants.
Seven of Nine: If I choose to procreate.
Neelix: Oh, I wouldn't dismiss it so lightly. Someday you might enjoy a little Seven of Nine Point Five running around.

[in the name of the crew, Neelix has presented Janeway with a family photo of Shannon O'Donnell]
Neelix: I thought it would look nice in your ready room, o-on the shelf, next to your desk?
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Thank you. But I'm not so sure she has a place there anymore.
Seven of Nine: You are mistaken, Captain.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Oh?
Seven of Nine: Her life captured your imagination. Historical details are irrelevant.
Tuvok: I concur with that analysis.
Chakotay: If it weren't for Shannon O'Donnell, you never would have joined Starfleet.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Yeah - and I would have never got you all stuck here in the Delta Quadrant.

Neelix: What can you tell me about the great wall of China?
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Pardon?
Neelix: The Great Wall Of China, on Earth. Who built it?
Captain Kathryn Janeway: The Chinese.
Neelix: What for?
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Why does anybody build a wall? To keep people out. Deck 1.
Neelix: In fact, it was the first Qin emperor who connected the walls built by a previous dynasty. He did it to prevent an invasion by nomads to the north. How big is it?
Captain Kathryn Janeway: I have a feeling you're going to tell me.
Neelix: 2400 kilometers long
[1,500 miles]
Neelix: median width 3.8 meters
[12 feet 6 inches]
Neelix: . Before the 22nd century it was one of the only manmade objects that could be seen from Earth's orbit with the naked eye.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Very impressive, Neelix. I had no idea you knew so much about my homeworld.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Drive (#7.3)" (2000)
B'Elanna Torres: There's a Klingon phrase that my grandmother used to use: "mok'tah". It means 'bad match'. That's what Tom and I are. I just hate that it's taken me three years to realize it.
Neelix: If you're really such a mok'tah, it must've been an awful three years.

[a good part of the crew is following the race from Astrometrics]
Tuvok: [enters and hands Janeway a PADD] My weekly security report.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: I'll read it later.
Tuvok: There are a few matters we should discuss.
Chakotay: She said later, Tuvok.
Neelix: [focused on the race] Something's wrong... They're disappearing!
Seven of Nine: Radiation from the Mobius Inversion is blocking our sensors.
Tuvok: [checking the display] How will we track their progress?
Chakotay: We can't. Not until they emerge from the other side of the anomaly.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: [feigning interest] Wanna talk about that report now, Tuvok?
Tuvok: Later - if that's permissible.

Neelix: It's all in the delivery.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Night (#5.1)" (1998)
The Doctor: I've given you a mild sedative. It should control the urge to hyperventilate and alleviate some of your anxiety.
Neelix: Anxiety! Anxiety is what I feel when I burn a pot roast. This, this is more like...
The Doctor: Dizziness, nausea, unspeakable dread?
Neelix: Yes.
The Doctor: Nihiliphobia, the fear of nothingness. Or, in laymen's terms, the fear of... nothingness.

[Morale Officer Neelix is feeling depressed by the void]
The Doctor: If it's any consolation, I can relate to it. I go into a void every time I'm deactivated. Emptiness, complete and utter oblivion. I'll admit, it was unsettling at first - the existential horror of it all...
Neelix: You're not helping, Doctor.

Neelix: [looking out the window into the void] First thing in the morning, I replicate some curtains.


"Star Trek: Voyager: The Killing Game: Part 2 (#4.19)" (1998)
[the Klingons are waking up from their nap]
Neelix: Uh-oh. What should we do?
The Doctor: Not having a cure for Klingon hangovers, I couldn't tell you.

[a couple of Klingons are sitting and eating by a fire]
Neelix: Pardon me, gentlemen, I wonder if I might have a word with you.
The Doctor: They're Klingons, not kittens.
[Neelix steps up, snatches a drumstick out of a Klingon's hand and flings it brutally into the fire]
Neelix: You will listen!

Klingon Hologram: Qapla'!
Neelix: Qapla'.
The Doctor: Tally-ho.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Meld (#2.16)" (1996)
Neelix: I don't suppose you've ever heard of the Vulcan Rumarie?
Lieutenant Tuvok: The Rumarie is an ancient pagan festival.
Neelix: Full of barely clothed Vulcan men and women, covered in slippery Rillan grease, chasing one another.
Lieutenant Tuvok: That has not been observed for a millennium.
Neelix: Well, it's time to bring it back!

Neelix: I've been thinking of a Rumarie theme for the mess hall next week - lots of high-fat greasy foods. And if people want to take off their clothes and chase one another... well, it certainly wouldn't hurt morale around here.

Lieutenant Tuvok: Morale is irrelevant to a Vulcan.
Neelix: Oh, please, there's no one on this ship requires my services more than you do. I will not rest until I see you smile.
Lieutenant Tuvok: Then you will not rest.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Infinite Regress (#5.7)" (1998)
[Seven doesn't feel well]
Neelix: [to Seven] I have some wonderful medicinal teas. Maybe I could prepare one for you.
The Doctor: Talaxian homeopathy. I don't think we're quite that desperate yet.

[Neelix hands Seven a drawing]
Neelix: It's from Naomi Wildman. It's a drawing of Voyager. Or... maybe it's an asteroid belt. I'm not sure.

Neelix: It seems we had another incident in the mess hall last night.
B'Elanna Torres: Return of the midnight snacker?


"Star Trek: Voyager: Random Thoughts (#4.10)" (1997)
[Neelix is telling Paris about his idea of a romantic evening with his love interest]
Tom Paris: Sounds like a good strategy.
Neelix: Do you really think so? I mean... you used to be quite the ladies' man.
Tom Paris: Used to be?
Neelix: Well... well, I mean, you're involved now, so of course you won't be availing yourself of all the beautiful, fascinating and very open-minded Mari women.
Tom Paris: Neelix, are you trying to depress me?

Tom Paris: The best advice I can give you is to just be yourself.
Neelix: Right - be myself.
Tom Paris: Actually, that's the second best piece of advice.
Neelix: What's the first?
Tom Paris: Go a little easier on the musk.

[Seven blames Torres for being careless with her thoughts]
Neelix: B'Elanna is not used to being around telepaths. That doesn't make her guilty.
Seven of Nine: Then her crime was ignorance - a common affliction among your crew.
Neelix: What's that supposed to mean?
Seven of Nine: You make contact with alien species without sufficient understanding of their nature. As a result, Voyager's directive to seek out new civilizations often ends in conflict.
Neelix: What you call ignorance, we call exploration. And... sometimes it means taking a few risks. But it's, it's certainly better than assimilating everything in your path.
Seven of Nine: Your goal is to share knowledge. Assimilation is the perfect means of attaining that goal.
Neelix: Perfect!


"Star Trek: Voyager: The Q and the Grey (#3.11)" (1996)
[Voyager's crew is witnessing a star going supernova]
Neelix: All I can say is... wow!
[laughs]
Neelix: I... I can't... What about you, Mr Vulcan? Isn't that just... wow?
Tuvok: Your inarticulate expression of awe notwithstanding, Mr Neelix, it was a fascinating spectacle.

Neelix: [to Q] Do you want to know what Captain Janeway likes about me? I'll tell you: I am respectful, loyal, and most of all, sincere. And those are qualities which someone like you could never hope to possess.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Workforce: Part 1 (#7.16)" (2001)
Harry Kim: In six years, I've never been on an away mission worse than this one.
Neelix: I don't know how you can say that. The cargo hold is crammed with valuable supplies.
Harry Kim: And my stomach is crammed with alien parasites, doing backflips.
Neelix: I guess you shouldn't have drunk that Falah nectar.
Harry Kim: You insisted I try it!
Neelix: Uh... The Nar Shaddan consider it a delicacy. To refuse would have insulted them.
Harry Kim: I didn't hear you insisting that Commander Chakotay try it.
Neelix: Commander Chakotay's a vegetarian.
Harry Kim: [aghast] It was made from meat?
Neelix: More like a meat by-product.
Harry Kim: [groans] I'm gonna be sick.
Neelix: Not after you drink this.
[hands him a glass]
Harry Kim: What is it?
Neelix: Leola bark tea, to settle even the queasiest of stomachs.
Harry Kim: [sniffs] Ugh! It smells worse than the meat nectar! I'll wait for the Doctor to treat me.

[Chakotay has been surgically altered to look like an alien]
Neelix: I still say you should have posed as a Talaxian. We'd have made a striking pair.
Chakotay: Whiskers make me itch.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Q2 (#7.19)" (2001)
Neelix: [of Q2] He may be omnipotent, but he's still a young man in need of guidance. Perhaps if someone were to approach him as a friend.
Captain Janeway: You think he needs a mentor.
Neelix: Exactly.
Captain Janeway: Are you volunteering?
Neelix: Well, I am good with children.
Captain Janeway: [chuckles] Q is no ordinary child.
Neelix: I'm no ordinary mentor.

Neelix: We could play kadis-kot.
Q2: [excitedly] Are there explosions in kadis-kot?
Neelix: Well, no...
Q2: Well, then I'm not interested!


"Star Trek: Voyager: False Profits (#3.5)" (1996)
[Neelix, in Ferengi-disguise, is posing as the Grand Proxy, representative of the Grand Nagus]
Neelix: The 299th Rule of Acquisition: "Whenever you exploit someone, it never hurts to thank them. That way it's easier to exploit them the next time."
Kol: Wait a minute - there's only 285 Rules of Acquisition.
Neelix: You've been gone a very long time.

[Neelix, as the Holy Pilgrim, and the two Ferengi are to be burned]
Kafar: We are fulfilling the destiny of the Sages.
Neelix: I am the Holy Pilgrim, and I have come to tell you that there's another verse to the song. It's, uh, uh... "Please, er, don't burn the Holy Ones!"
Kafar: I'm sorry, Holy Pilgrim, but that's not part of the song.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Time and Again (#1.3)" (1995)
[the Doctor is scanning Kes, then checking his tricorder]
The Doctor: Hm... m-hm...
Neelix: [impatient] What?
The Doctor: Hm?
Neelix: Is something wrong?
The Doctor: Yes, terribly wrong.
The Doctor: [to Kes] Your brain is... not on file.

Kes: My ancestors were said to have... unusual mental abilities.
Neelix: No one believes those stories.
Kes: I always have.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Prophecy (#7.14)" (2001)
[Neelix has entered Tuvok's quarters without permission]
Tuvok: Mr. Neelix, may I ask what you're doing here?
Neelix: We're bunkmates.

[Torres is telling the Klingons a "colorful story"]
B'Elanna Torres: ...Tuvok and Neelix fought valiantly, but there were too many Hirogen. I had to face ten of their fiercest hunters - alone!
Tom Paris: [aside, to Neelix] Is that how you remember it?
Neelix: Exaggeration is part of Klingon custom. She's doing great.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Natural Law (#7.22)" (2001)
[as a penalty for a flight infraction, Paris has to take flight lessons]
Harry Kim: Tom! You joining us? Oh, that's right, you have to go to pilot school!
B'Elanna Torres: I hear the course takes days.
Tom Paris: Yeah, for most people, but I did a little research. If the instructor agrees, you can skip the lessons and go right to the test. So I will be seeing you in a couple of hours.
Neelix: [to Torres] You have to admire his optimism.

Tom Paris: [receiving the instructor] It's an honor to meet you, sir. May I show you to the Delta Flyer?
Kleg, Flying Instructor: Why?
Tom Paris: Um... so you can explain what I did wrong and then administer the test.
Kleg, Flying Instructor: It sounds to me like you need lessons in patience as well.
B'Elanna Torres: [ironic] Oh, Tom is very patient, sir.
Neelix: [likewise] Never impulsive.
Harry Kim: Take all the time you need. He'll enjoy the extra attention.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Ex Post Facto (#1.7)" (1995)
Capt. Kathryn Janeway: Based on your experience, what can we expect the Numiri to do to intimidate us?
Neelix: To be honest - whenever I saw the Numiri coming, I always left before the intimidation began!
[guffaws]

[Voyager is attacked by Numiri ships]
Neelix: Well, at least now you know I was telling the truth about them, Captain. Although I take no pleasure in being right, mind you.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Hunters (#4.15)" (1998)
Neelix: Don't pay any attention to rumors.

Neelix: You're a grandfather! Isn't that wonderful? Congratulations! What should we call you now? Grandpa? Gramps?
Tuvok: I think Commander Tuvok will suffice.


"Star Trek: Voyager: The Killing Game: Part 1 (#4.18)" (1998)
Neelix: [as a Klingon] There is no enemy as great as hunger.

[Katrine is decoding a message]
Captain Kathryn Janeway: [as Katrine] A... H, C - straight from Allied High Command!
Neelix: [as the Supplier] It must be important.
Tuvok: [as the Bartender] All messages regarding the war are important. It's only a matter of degree.
Neelix: I suppose you're right, but d'you have to be so... logical about everything?
Tuvok: In any covert battle, logic is a potent weapon. You might try it sometime.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Fury (#6.23)" (2000)
[Neelix is trying to cheer up Kes]
Neelix: Wait, I, I think I see something.
[pretends to press his combadge]
Neelix: Neelix to Security. Kes's frown is losing its structural integrity. Red alert - I'm detecting a smile. That's my Kes.

[Neelix gives Kes a farewell present, but doesn't leave immediately]
Old Kes: What?
Neelix: Just looking.
Old Kes: See anyone you know?
Neelix: Only you.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Learning Curve (#1.15)" (1995)
Neelix: I feel that my services as morale officer are required.
Lieutenant Tuvok: I assure you, you are wrong.
Neelix: Oh, really? Hm... One, no cup of tea; two, no PADD; three, you're sitting on the opposite side from usual. All of that tells me, you've got something on your mind. What tells me that it's making you miserable is that cloud of doom that's rising from you like a ground fog.
Lieutenant Tuvok: I cannot imagine that there are visible emanations which allow you to interpret my mood. You are making wild assumptions.

[as an allegory, Neelix shows Tuvok some of his plants, some of which have flexible stems, others rather brittle ones]
Lieutenant Tuvok: You're saying that the Maquis crew is rigid and inflexible, that they will never adjust to Starfleet rules?
Neelix: No, Mr. Vulcan. I'm saying that *you* are rigid and inflexible. But maybe if you'd learn to bend a little, you might have better luck with your class.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Worst Case Scenario (#3.25)" (1997)
Neelix: I would never presume to interfere in the creative process. It's more of a comment, really. About the Neelix character...
Lieutenant Tuvok: How surprising.
Neelix: He would never betray the Captain the way he does in that story. Er, no offense, Mr. Vulcan, but I don't think you understand my character very well.
Lieutenant Tom Paris: Tuvok, did you forget to follow the Dictates of Poetics?

[last lines]
Neelix: I've got a great idea for a holo-novel: about a daring trader, who becomes a cook on a starship. Eventually he rises to...
Lieutenant Tuvok: Mr. Neelix - if Mr. Paris and I do create another work of holo-fiction, I assure you, we will choose a subject much less close to home.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Dragon's Teeth (#6.7)" (1999)
Gedrin: I'm curious. Have you heard of us, the Vaadwaur?
Neelix: Um, I'm afraid there aren't many records from that period. But 'vaadwaur' is a word in the Old Tongue; it means, er... 'foolish'.

Neelix: Computer, name the specific folktales that use the word 'vaadwaur'.
Voyager Computer: "The Demon with the Golden Voice"; "The Tale of the Deadly Stranger"; "The Tale of the Boy Who Lost His Head"; "The Tale of the Bloody Hand".
Neelix: Not exactly 'Mother Goose'.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Extreme Risk (#5.3)" (1998)
Neelix: Name your poison.
[Neelix's alternative to 'What'll it be?']

B'Elanna Torres: Actually... I was hoping for banana pancakes.
Neelix: Huh, I-I-I don't think I ever heard of 'banana pancakes' before.
B'Elanna Torres: My grandmother used to make them for me when I was a kid. It's always put a smile on my face.
Neelix: Well, then - one smile coming right up.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Imperfection (#7.2)" (2000)
Neelix: Delivery for Seven of Nine. Tarcanian wildflowers. Cheery, don't you think?
[Seven, working at a console, doesn't acknowledge]
Neelix: Uh... or if you prefer gladiolas, I could go back to the airponics bay.
The Doctor: [taking the flower vase and putting it on the console] That won't be necessary, Mr. Neelix, the flowers are lovely. Aren't they, Seven?
Seven of Nine: Thank you. I'll admire them later.

The Doctor: Seven prefers not to have visitors right now.
Neelix: Not even a visitor with a kadis-kot board?
Seven of Nine: Correct.
Neelix: But it's your favorite game.
The Doctor: [taking Neelix aside] Personally, I can't blame her. You're being extremely insensitive.
Neelix: I am?
The Doctor: You know perfectly well Seven is in a weakened state. She wouldn't stand a chance against you.
Neelix: You're right, I... I don't know what I was thinking.
Neelix: [to Seven] We'll play later when you're feeling up to it.
[turns to leave]
Seven of Nine: Green.
Neelix: I beg your pardon?
Seven of Nine: I prefer the green pieces; you'll use red.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Demon (#4.24)" (1998)
[the Doctor is complaining to Chakotay about Neelix and a few other crew members who are trying to use sickbay as temporary quarters]
Chakotay: We are short on beds for now. We've got to adapt.
Neelix: A-ha!
The Doctor: But... what if there's a medical emergency?
Chakotay: Then Neelix and the others will get out of the way.
Neelix: Absolutely!
The Doctor: But... this isn't just sickbay. It's my residence.
Neelix: And we promise to be the most perfect houseguests.
Chakotay: What more can you ask for?
The Doctor: But... I have a routine. I'm a night owl. What if one of them should snore while I'm listening to Puccini?
Chakotay: Well, if you feel that strongly about it, Doc, I suppose we'll have to consider other options.
The Doctor: Thank you, Commander.
[sneers at Neelix]
Chakotay: For example, we could shut down your program until you're needed. The Captain asked me to look for ways to conserve power. And it would spare you from having to listen to them snore.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: [over communicator] Commander Chakotay to the bridge.
Chakotay: On my way.
[leaves]
The Doctor: But...

Neelix: Doctor.
The Doctor: Yes.
Neelix: Thanks for you hospitality. And if you ever need a place to stay - my door is always open.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Faces (#1.13)" (1995)
Neelix: Everyone aboard this ship deserves a little taste of home every now and then.

Neelix: There's no place like home.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Future's End: Part 1 (#3.8)" (1996)
Neelix: We have come across some very intriguing televised broadcasts. Take a look at this: it's a form of entertainment called a 'soap opera'. The exploration of human relationships is fascinating.
Ensign Harry Kim: Hm. I can't imagine just watching the story and not being a part of it.
Kes: That's because you've been spoiled by the holodeck. There's something to be said for non-interactive stories like this, being swept away in the narrative.

Neelix: I can't wait to see if Blaine's twin brother is the father of Jessica's baby.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Flesh and Blood: Part 2 (#7.10)" (2000)
[the Beta has claimed the holograms' vessel as Hirogen property]
Neelix: I imagine your people will tell stories about this hunt. The question is, which story will it be? The one about the dying Beta whose life had to be saved by a hologram? Or will it be the tale of the Beta who bravely took over the hunt, killed the holograms and destroyed their ship? You could be a legend.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: On the other hand, you could try to take the holograms' ship, but with so few hunters and damaged vessels, you might not survive to tell any stories at all.
Beta-Hirogen: You and your crew would have made worthy prey, Captain.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Thank you - I think.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Author, Author (#7.20)" (2001)
Neelix: There's an old Talaxian expression: "When the road before you splits in two, take the third path."


"Star Trek: Voyager: Good Shepherd (#6.20)" (2000)
Neelix: [referring to Crewman Harren] I'll bet you haven't said two words to him.
Tom Paris: Two words, exactly. We collided in the corridor during a Borg attack; I said, "Excuse me". Since we were at red alert and about to be destroyed, I think it was very considerate of me.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Unforgettable (#4.22)" (1998)
Chakotay: I've been trying to make sense of it. I fell in love with her twice; I thought she could do the same. We were the same two people on the same ship. Why didn't it happen again? I keep going over and over our last conversation, trying to think if there was something I could have said, could have done. But nothing comes to mind.
Neelix: Commander, I don't think you can analyze love. It's the greatest mystery of all. No one knows why it happens, or doesn't. Love is a chance combination of elements. Any one thing might be enough to keep it from igniting - a mood, a glance... a remark. And if we could define love, predict it - it would probably lose its power.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Timeless (#5.6)" (1998)
Tuvok: Mr. Neelix, you are an unending source of astonishment.
Neelix: Why, thank you, Mr. Vulcan.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Cathexis (#1.12)" (1995)
[Neelix is wary because Ensign Parsons has ordered a drink other than his usual one]
The Doctor: Mr. Neelix, just because a man changes his drink order doesn't mean he's possessed by an alien.
Neelix: Nevertheless, don't you think you should... scan him or dissect him or something? Just to make sure.
The Doctor: I could examine every crew member you've mentioned so far, every person on board, for that matter, and it wouldn't do any good. From what we can tell, the alien can jump from person to person at will.
Neelix: Sounds to me like you're defending Ensign Parsons.
The Doctor: I'm not defending him. I'm just pointing out that you're acting a little paranoid. In fact, one could say you're acting a little... too paranoid.


"Star Trek: Voyager: The Swarm (#3.4)" (1996)
Captain Kathryn Janeway: [Tom and B'Elanna were attacked after accidentally crossing into the territory of a race the Voyager crew has never met before] Neelix, what can you tell us?
Neelix: If these people are who I think they are, I can tell you this is very bad news. I've never actually encountered them, but from what I've heard I'm glad I didn't. Most ships that enter their space are never heard from again. Some have returned with everyone on board dead. They're a complete mystery. No-one knows they're name. How many of them there are. What they're culture is like. Just that they really don't want people violating they're territory.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Sacred Ground (#3.7)" (1996)
Neelix: It should be me going through all that. I was the one who let Kes get hurt in the first place!
The Doctor: Mr. Neelix, you're wallowing.
Neelix: I'm...
The Doctor: Wallowing in useless remorse. I'll have to ask you to stop; it's bad for the patient.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Warhead (#5.25)" (1999)
[first lines]
Tom Paris: Show mercy!
Neelix: You people have a saying: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. In other words, your credit's no good here.


"Star Trek: Voyager: The Raven (#4.6)" (1997)
[Neelix teaches Seven how to eat]
Neelix: Er, just kind of, er... scoop some up... That's the way - right into your mouth, just like the little scout ship flying into a shuttlebay.


"Star Trek: Voyager: One (#4.25)" (1998)
Harry Kim: Neelix, this soup is great. What is it?
Neelix: It's my secret recipe. I've never told anyone what's in it.
Tom Paris: Why does that make me nervous?
B'Elanna Torres: Oh, come on, Tom, where's your sense of adventure?
Tom Paris: Not in my stomach.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Latent Image (#5.11)" (1999)
The Doctor: Throwing a little party, are we? Why, I attended a party just recently. A birthday party, for a very nice young woman. I made a decision there, too. Several of them, in fact. When I came through the door, do I turn right or do I turn left? As I recall, I decided on... the latter. Then, what should I see before me but the hors d'oeuvre tray, and another decision: do I take a canapé? Or refuse? Oh, that's an easy one - I'm a hologram, I don't eat.
[chuckles sarcastically]
Neelix: [to Security who just entered] Something's wrong with him.
The Doctor: Don't you know it's rude to refer to somebody in the third person? You had a choice, Mr. Neelix - "Should I do something rude or not do something rude?"
Tuvok: Doctor, we must return to sickbay.
The Doctor: Why should I? What if I don't want to return to sickbay? What if I decide not to return to sickbay? No - I don't choose this. Leave me alone, LET ME GO! WHY DID SHE HAVE TO DIE? WHY DID I KILL HER? Why did I decide to kill her, why? Somebody tell me WHY...!


"Star Trek: Voyager: Inside Man (#7.6)" (2000)
[Reg is impersonating various senior officers, to the delight of the crew]
Reg: [with Janeway's voice] Imagine my disappointment when I discovered that Lieutenant Paris had eaten all the scrambled eggs. It was pure, unadulterated gluttony, gastronomic conduct unbecoming a Starfleet officer. He knows it's my favorite breakfast, but he ate them anyway. We have an egg-mergency here, people. I want to know what you plan to do about it.
Neelix: [barely containing himself] Maybe I can replicate some more, "Captain".
Reg: [as Janeway] Do it!


"Star Trek: Voyager: Deadlock (#2.21)" (1996)
Neelix: We're having a baby!


"Star Trek: Voyager: Think Tank (#5.20)" (1999)
[Neelix is serving coffee to Janeway, who is working through the night]
Neelix: Should I have the Doctor prepare a hypospray?
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Excuse me?
Neelix: So you can absorb the caffeine more directly - save time.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Day of Honor (#4.3)" (1997)
Neelix: Lieutenant... without knowing why there's a black cloud hanging over your head, may I suggest something?
B'Elanna Torres: Go right ahead.
Neelix: You have a... bit of a temper - that you keep reined in. And sometimes it builds up inside you, until you explode at someone.
B'Elanna Torres: I'd say that about sums it up.
Neelix: I'm offering to be a pressure valve.
B'Elanna Torres: A what?
Neelix: You may use me to blow off steam. When you're angry, come see me, call me names, insult me, question my parentage - I won't take it personally. And you won't need to keep things bottled up inside anymore.
B'Elanna Torres: That may be the nicest offer I've had in a long time.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Warlord (#3.10)" (1996)
Demmas: [Demmas, the son of the Autarch is pacing up and down in the Observation Lounge during a staff meeting] I'm sure they really wanted to kill my father! He's the one they invited up to your ship. Nori and Adin are known to be political extremists.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: How could Kes be involved?
Demmas: I may be able to explain that.
[to the Doctor]
Demmas: You mentioned that she was with the third patient when he died?
The Doctor: That's right. Why?
Demmas: I believe your crewmember has been inhabited by the consciousness of a very dangerous man, named Tieran.
Neelix: [concerned] Who is that? What does he want with Kes?
Demmas: Oh, I know exactly what he wants. To overthrow my family's government and reinstate himself as the Autarch.
Lieutenant Tuvok: He has held the title before?
Demmas: Tieran ruled Ilari over two centuries ago. He was a war hero, a brilliant military leader. He brought security and stability during a difficult time in our history. But in peacetime, he began to treat his own subjects as enemies. He became convinced everyone was a potential traitor.
Commander Chakotay: At some point your people must have rebelled.
Demmas: They did, led by one of my ancestors. They laid siege to the Imperial Hall for over a year and the city around it was burned to the ground, but Tieran was finally defeated.
Lieutenant Tuvok: And yet you believe that he, or at least his consciousness, has survived?
Demmas: During his reign, he became obsessed with his own mortality. He spent most of his time, and Ilari's resources, searching for ways to overcome death. Somehow, he's discovered a way to transfer his own mind into someone else's body, as he's done with Kes.
Neelix: So he's been controlling her?
Demmas: Yes, completely.
Neelix: But she... he knew things about Kes's life. He acted enough like Kes to fool us all.
[hopeful]
Neelix: The real Kes must still be in there somewhere.
Demmas: Tieran may have access to her memories and her feelings, but the Kes you knew... is lost. I'm very sorry.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: I'm not prepared to accept that yet.
[to the Doctor]
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Examine the body of the man who died. We need more information about how the transfer works if we want to get Kes back.
Demmas: That's certainly worth exploring, Captain. But our priority must be to stop Tieran. By force if necessary. Voyager is a powerful ship.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: You may be considering force, but my only intention is to rescue Kes and remove Tieran's consciousness. That should suit both our interests.
Demmas: You don't understand what's at stake here, Captain. You must help me to defend my people.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Tinker Tenor Doctor Spy (#6.4)" (1999)
Neelix: On Talaxia, we have a saying: the dream dreams the dreamer.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Lineage (#7.12)" (2001)
Neelix: As they say on Talax: "Omara s'alas - Good news has no clothes."


"Star Trek: Voyager: Bride of Chaotica! (#5.12)" (1999)
Captain Kathryn Janeway: [entering the mess hall] Coffee, black.
Neelix: Uh, sorry, Captain. We lost two more replicators this morning...
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Listen to me very carefully, because I'm only going to say this once: Coffee. Black.
Neelix: Yes, ma'am.
[Neelix obliges and gets the Captain her coffee]
Neelix: While I've got your attention, there are...
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Coffee first!
[she takes a sip and lets the caffeine hit]
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Now, what's the problem?


"Star Trek: Voyager: Nothing Human (#5.8)" (1998)
[Paris, Torres and Neelix are talking about the Doctor's slideshow]
B'Elanna Torres: I thought some of those pictures were pretty funny.
Neelix: You mean like the one where Tom slipped into a mud pit?
B'Elanna Torres: [to Paris, laughing] You're famous!
Neelix: Then of course there's the one depicting a certain Chief Engineer, with her foot stuck in a plasma injector.
B'Elanna Torres: WHAT?
Tom Paris: Really? Why, I seem to have missed that one.
Neelix: The Doctor must have taken it out of the exhibition.
Tom Paris: Oh, I can't wait to get my hands on it. Maybe I can distribute it to everyone's personal database.
B'Elanna Torres: Try it and I'll kill you - right after I finish deleting the Doctor's program.


"Star Trek: Voyager: The Void (#7.15)" (2001)
Neelix: [Seven has prepared a gourmet meal for some of the senior officers] Pinot noir, Commander?
Chakotay: I'll have another glass of the Chardonnay.
Seven of Nine: Each course has been paired with a specific wine. Substitutions are not recommended.
Chakotay: The Pinot noir sounds perfect.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Collective (#6.16)" (2000)
Tom Paris: [the boys are playing poker] Look, why don't we make things a little more interesting? Forget the chips. Let's bet on tomorrow's work detail, all right? Whoever wins this hand gets the morning off.
Chakotay: I'm in.
Harry Kim: I'm in.
Neelix: Sounds good to me.
Chakotay: What have you got?
Harry Kim: Two pair.
Neelix: Does that beat a flush?
Harry Kim: I *knew* you were bluffing!
Chakotay: That beats me. Tom?
Chakotay: [Tom says nothing; he's staring in horror at the viewscreen. The others follow his gaze, and see a Borg cube coming right at them] Battle stations!
Tom Paris: [as everyone scrambles for their station] And I had a full house...


Star Trek Voyager: Elite Force (2000) (VG)
Paris: This is great! What is it?
Neelix: Pie.
Paris: What kind of pie?
Neelix: Oh, just pie.
Paris: What kind of pie?
Neelix: Lorinax grub roach pie. Enjoy!


"Star Trek: Voyager: Relativity (#5.24)" (1999)
The Doctor: Where is the medical emergency?
Neelix: I hope you're not referring to this pot roast.
The Doctor: You called me a few minutes ago, you said Ensign Manis was ill.
Neelix: I did?
The Doctor: Yes.
Neelix: Ensign Manis is right over there. He came in an hour ago, he looks perfectly norm...
[Ensign Manis collapses]


"Star Trek: Voyager: Scientific Method (#4.7)" (1997)
Chakotay: You smell something strange?
Neelix: I... I'm... I'm afraid that's me. I seem to be developing Mylean sweat glands. Sorry.
Chakotay: It's not so bad.
Neelix: Well, whatever happens, I... I try to keep in mind that things could be worse.
[grunts heavily as he tries to lift himself onto a biobed]
Neelix: I still have my home here on Voyager, my friends.
Chakotay: Your hair.
Neelix: True. But I'd gladly lose it if I could have my taste buds back.
Chakotay: At least you're not losing your eyesight. See that display over there? It's nothing but a blur.
Neelix: You think that's bad? The Doctor tells me my pupils have dilated 60 percent. I-I can't even look at that display, it's so bright!
Chakotay: Yeah? Well, I've got chronic arthritis in my fingers. I can barely keep this glass steady.
Neelix: Well, that's nothing. My spinal column is fusing together. In a matter of days, I won't be able to walk.
Chakotay: Got you beat! I can barely walk now.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Basics: Part 2 (#3.1)" (1996)
Commander Chakotay: [referring to the Hanonian natives] Have you been able to tell if they have a leader?
Kes: I'd say it's the one with the claw.
Neelix: I agree. The other two seem to be trying to figure out what to make of us - in a manner of speaking, not in a culinary sense, I hope.


"Star Trek: Voyager: The Chute (#3.3)" (1996)
Neelix: [trying to bluff his way past an Akritirian patrol] What was that patrol? That last message was garbled.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Counterpoint (#5.10)" (1998)
[Neelix is telling the telepathic Brenari children a tale]
Neelix: ...It seemed hopeless. Until they discovered...
Adar: ...a door.
Neelix: You... A door, right, a mysterious door, right in the middle of...
Adar: ...a clearing.
Neelix: [laughs, embarrassed] You know, it's, it's... huh... it's not nice to read people's thoughts when they're telling a story.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Year of Hell: Part 2 (#4.9)" (1997)
B'Elanna Torres: [crew raises coffee mugs] To distant friends.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Hear, hear.
Harry Kim: Cheers.
Seven of Nine: Yes.
[cut to Kim taking a sip]
Neelix: [anxious] Well?
Tuvok: [pauses] Interesting.
Harry Kim: Not bad. Not bad at all!
B'Elanna Torres: What is it, exactly?
Neelix: I call it "the Elixir of Endurance." It's loaded with amino acids, carbohydrates, all the nutrients necessary for the crew to withstand these stressful conditions.
B'Elanna Torres: Ration cubes...
Neelix: Well, yes, yes. But this time, pureed and mixed with water and enhanced with Talaxian spices.
Seven of Nine: It is offensive. Fortunately taste is irrelevant.


"Star Trek: Voyager: The Gift (#4.2)" (1997)
Kes: I couldn't have come this far without you. And I love you. I always will. It's just, um...
Neelix: My cooking. You've always hated my cooking.
Kes: That's exactly what it was.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Death Wish (#2.18)" (1996)
[Q-uinn has set the lunch table for Janeway]
Quinn: Look, Welsh rarebit, like your grandfather used to make.
Neelix: [to Kes] Rarebit? She never told me she likes rarebits. What is a rarebit anyway? Is this some new chef she's interviewing?


"Star Trek: Voyager: Flashback (#3.2)" (1996)
[first lines]
[Neelix has made Tuvok a glass of juice]
Neelix: Enthraxic citrus peel, orange juice with just a hint of papalla seed extract. An experimental blend.
Lieutenant Tuvok: The success rate of your culinary experiments has not been high.
Neelix: Ensign Golwat tried some yesterday, and she thought it was delicious. In fact, she had a second glass, and she never has seconds.
Lieutenant Tuvok: Ensign Golwat is Bolian. Her tongue has a cartilaginous lining. It would protect her against even the most corrosive acid.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Bliss (#5.14)" (1999)
Neelix: Annika! Annika Hansen!
Seven of Nine: There is no one here by that name.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Gravity (#5.13)" (1999)
Neelix: I was just getting Noss's recipe for sauteed spiders. She told me how much you enjoyed them.
Tom Paris: [snorts] Let's just say, it's an acquired taste.


"Star Trek: Voyager: The 37's (#2.1)" (1995)
[the crew has to decide whether to settle on the planet or continue their journey on Voyager]
Fred Noonan: You think many of 'em will stay here?
Neelix: Oh, I don't think so. At least not many. Uh... well, that is, there's a, there's a good chance... Well, now that you ask, I honestly don't know.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Pathfinder (#6.10)" (1999)
Neelix: I'm ready for my lesson!
Seven of Nine: I've concluded that teaching you to sing is an inefficient use of my time.
Neelix: But I... I've... I've been practicing.
Seven of Nine: In your case, practice is irrelevant. Your vocal cords are incapable of producing basic diatonic tones, not to mention your rhythmic shortcomings.
Neelix: [sighs, disappointed] I sound so good in the sonic shower.
Seven of Nine: Perhaps you should confine your efforts to that location.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Critical Care (#7.5)" (2000)
[in order to get information about the Doctor's whereabouts, Neelix has given Gar something rather indigestible to eat]
Tuvok: Mr. Neelix, have you deliberately poisoned this man?
Neelix: Relax. He's just having gas pains.
Tuvok: Your actions are not only against regulations...
Neelix: Didn't I hear someone threaten a mind meld?
Tuvok: I was merely trying to encourage the suspect to be more forthcoming.
Neelix: [glancing at the pained Gar] I think he's getting all the encouragement he needs.


"Star Trek: Voyager: Year of Hell: Part 1 (#4.8)" (1997)
[Seven is complaining to Tuvok about her untidy cabin mate, when Neelix passes by with a "tactical question"]
Neelix: We're just about done rebuilding the internal security sensors, and we're ready to program the audio signal. Do you want it to say 'Intruder alert', or should we try something a little more dramatic, like 'Warning, intruder alert', or 'Intruders among us! Danger! Danger! Intruders among us!'
Tuvok: 'Intruder alert' will suffice.
Neelix: Yeah, go with the classic. Understood, sir.
[leaves]
Tuvok: [to Seven] And you believe *you* have difficulties.