Quotes for
Dr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy (Character)
from "Star Trek" (1966)

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989)

Kirk: What does God need with a starship?
McCoy: Jim, what are you doing?
Kirk: I'm asking a question.
"God": Who is this creature?
Kirk: Who am I? Don't you know? Aren't you God?
Sybok: He has his doubts.
"God": You doubt me?
Kirk: I seek proof.
McCoy: Jim! You don't ask the Almighty for his ID!
"God": Then here is the proof you seek.
[Hits Kirk with lightning]
Kirk: Why is God angry?
Sybok: Why? Why have you done this to my friend?
"God": He doubts me.
Spock: You have not answered his question. What does God need with a starship?
"God": [hits Spock with lightning; then addresses McCoy] Do you doubt me?
McCoy: I doubt any God who inflicts pain for his own pleasure.

McCoy: We were speculating. Is God really out there?
Kirk: Maybe he's not out there, Bones. Maybe he's right here.
[points to his heart]
Kirk: Human heart.

[Around camp fire singing "Row Row Row your Boat"]
Kirk: Come on. Spock... Why didn't you jump in?
Spock: I was trying to comprehend the meaning of the words.
McCoy: It's a song, you green-blooded... Vulcan. You sing it. The words aren't important. What's important is that you have a good time singing it.
Spock: Oh, I am sorry Doctor. Were we having a good time?
McCoy: God I liked him better before he died.

Spock: I've lost a brother.
Kirk: I had lost a brother once. Would you like to hear how I got him back?
McCoy: I thought you said men like us don't have families.
Kirk: I was wrong.

Scotty: [to Kirk about ship status] Ah. All I can say is they don't make them like they used to.
Kirk: You told me you could get this ship operational in two weeks, I gave you three, what happened?
Scotty: I think you gave me TOO much time, Captain.
Kirk: Very well, Mr Scott. Carry on.
Scotty: Aye, sir.
[Spots a junior engineer nearby]
Scotty: How many times do I have to tell you, the right tool for the right job!
McCoy: [laughs] I don't think I've ever seen him happier.
[They enter the turbolift]
Computer: Le-le-level?
Kirk: Bridge... I hope.

McCoy: Jim... if you ask me, and you haven't, I think this is a terrible idea. We're bound to bump into the Klingons, and they don't exactly like you.
Kirk: Feeling's mutual.

Kirk: Damn it Spock, goddamn it!
Spock: Captain, what I have done?
Kirk: What you have done is betrayed every man on the ship.
Spock: Worse, I have betrayed you. I do not expect you to forgive me.
Kirk: Forgive you? I ought to knock you on your goddamned ass.
Spock: If you think it would help?
McCoy: You want me to hold him, Jim?
Kirk: You stay out of this!

Dr McCoy: All that time in space, getting on each other's nerves. And what do we do when shore leave comes along? We spend it together. Other people have families.
Kirk: Other people, Bones. Not us.

Kirk: Go to bed, Spock. Good night, Bones.
McCoy: Good night, Jim.
Spock: Good night, doctor.
McCoy: Good night, Spock.
Spock: Good night, captain.
Kirk: [to himself] ... I don't know... I just don't know...

Kirk: [responds to a tapping within the wall] What's that noise?
Spock: [tapping continues] I believe it is a primitive form of communication known as morse Code.
Kirk: You're right. I'm out of practice.
[tapping]
Kirk: That's an "S".
Spock: "T".
Kirk: "A"... "N"... "D", end of word.
McCoy: "Stand".
Kirk: New word... "B"... "A"...
Spock: "C"... "K".
McCoy: "Back". "Stand back".
Kirk, Spock, McCoy: "Stand back"?
[the wall explodes]
Scotty: [on the other side of the wall] What are you standing around for? Do you not know a jailbreak when you see one?

McCoy: I'll tell you one thing, Spock: You never cease to amaze me.
Spock: Nor I, myself.

Kirk: All I ask is a tall ship, and a star to steer by.
McCoy: Melville...
Spock: ...John Maysfield.
McCoy: Are you sure about that?
Spock: I am well-versed in the classics, Doctor.
McCoy: Then how come you don't know "Row, Row, Row Your Boat?"
[Spock frowns]

[eating a campfire dinner]
Spock: Bipodal seeds, Doctor?
McCoy: Beans, Spock. But no ordinary beans. These are from a special Southern recipe handed down by my father. And if you stick your Vulcan nose up at these, you're not only insulting me, but generations of McCoys.
Spock: In that case, I have little choice but to sample your beans.

[last lines]
[around a campfire]
Kirk: [to Spock] Are you just gonna sit there and pluck that thing? Or are you gonna play something?
Spock: [starts playing]
Kirk, McCoy, Spock: [singing in canon] Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream...

Kirk: What are you doing?
Spock: I am preparing to toast a marsh melon.
McCoy: Well, I'll be damned. A marsh melon. Where'd you learn to do that?
Spock: Before leaving the ship, I consulted the computer library to familiarize myself with the customs associated with "camping out."
McCoy: Well, tell me, Spock. What do you do after we toast the marsh - er, marsh melons?
Spock: We consume them.
McCoy: I know we consume them. I mean after that.
Spock: Oh. I believe we are required to engage in a ritual known as the "singalong."

Sybok: What are you doing?
Kirk: In order to lower and re-raise the shields as quickly as possible, we're going to forego the tractor beam, and fly her in manually.
McCoy: *Manually*?
Sybok: How often have you done this?
Sulu: [smiles] Actually, it's my first attempt.

McCoy: [McCoy is watching Kirk climb a mountain] "You'll have a great time, Bones. You'll enjoy your shore leave. You'll relax." You call this relaxing? I'm a nervous wreck. I'm not careful, I'll end up talking to myself.

Kirk: Damn it Spock! God damn it!
Spock: Captain, what have I done?
Kirk: What you've done is betray every man on this ship!
Spock: Worse I've betrayed you. I do not expect you to forgive me.
Kirk: Forgive you? I oughta knock you on your goddamned ass!
Spock: If you think it would help.
McCoy: Do you want me to hold him, Jim?
Kirk: You stay out of this! Why, Spock, why? All you had to do is pull the trigger!
Spock: If I had done that Sybok would be dead.
Kirk: I ordered you to defend your ship!
Spock: You ordered me to kill my brother.
Kirk: But the man may be a fellow Vulcan but he...
Spock: No, no you do not understand. Sybok also is a son of Sarek.
Kirk: You mean he's your "brother" brother?
[Spock nods]
Kirk: You made that up.
Spock: I did not.
Kirk: You did too! Sybok couldn't possibly be your brother because I happen to know for a fact that you don't have a brother.
Spock: Technically you are right I do not have a brother.
Kirk: There! You see?
Spock: I have a half-brother.
Kirk: I gotta sit down.

---

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982)

McCoy: Admiral, wouldn't it be easier to put an experienced crew back on the ship?
Kirk: Galloping around the cosmos is a game for the young, Doctor.
[Leaves]
Commander Nyota Uhura: Now what is that supposed to mean?

[Kirk and McCoy are beaming down to Regula One]
Spock: Jim, be careful.
McCoy: *We* will!

McCoy: Damn it Jim, what the hell is the matter with you? Other people have birthdays, why are we treating yours like a funeral?

Saavik: Admiral, may I ask you a question?
Kirk: What's on your mind, Lieutenant?
Saavik: The Kobayashi Maru, sir.
Kirk: Are you asking me if we're playing out that scenario now?
Saavik: On the test, sir... will you tell me what you did? I would really like to know.
McCoy: Lieutenant, you are looking at the only Starfleet cadet who ever beat the no-win scenario.
Saavik: How?
Kirk: I reprogrammed the simulation so it was possible to rescue the ship.
Saavik: What?
David Marcus: He cheated.
Kirk: I changed the conditions of the test; got a commendation for original thinking. I don't like to lose.
Saavik: Then you never faced that situation... faced death.
Kirk: I don't believe in the no-win scenario.

McCoy: [to Spock] Are you out of your Vulcan mind?

McCoy: Where are we going?
Kirk: Where they went.
McCoy: Suppose they went *nowhere*?
Kirk: Then this will be your big chance to get away from it all.

Dr. McCoy: You're hiding... hiding behind rules and regulations.
Kirk: Who am I hiding from?
Dr. McCoy: From yourself, Admiral.
Kirk: Don't mince words, Bones. What do you really think?
Dr. McCoy: Jim, I'm your doctor and I'm also your friend. Get back your command! Get it back before you turn into part of this collection, before you really do grow old.

[Discussing the effects of the Genesis torpedo]
McCoy: Dear Lord. You think we're intelligent enough to... suppose... what if this thing were used where life already exists?
Spock: It would destroy such life in favor of its new matrix.
McCoy: Its "new matrix"? Do you have any idea what you're saying?
Spock: I was not attempting to evaluate its moral implications, Doctor. As a matter of cosmic history, it has always been easier to destroy than to create.
McCoy: Not anymore; now we can do both at the same time! According to myth, the Earth was created in six days. Now, watch out! Here comes Genesis! We'll do it for you in six minutes!
Spock: Really, Dr. McCoy. You must learn to govern your passions; they will be your undoing. Logic suggests...
McCoy: Logic? My God, the man's talking about logic; we're talking about universal Armageddon! You green-blooded, inhuman...

McCoy: He's not really dead. As long as we remember him.
Kirk: It's a far, far better thing I do than I have ever done before. A far better resting place that I go to than I have ever known.
Carol Marcus: Is that a poem?
Kirk: No. Something Spock was trying to tell me. On my birthday.
McCoy: You okay, Jim? How do you feel?
Kirk: Young. I feel young.

[Saavik has just left the turbolift]
Dr. McCoy: Did she change her hairstyle?
Kirk: I hadn't noticed.
Dr. McCoy: Wonderful stuff, that Romulan Ale.

[Kirk has been informed of an incoming transmission from Dr. Carol Marcus]
Dr. McCoy: It never rains but it pours.
Kirk: As a doctor, you of all people should be aware of the dangers of reopening old wounds.

[Kirk unwraps Bones' birthday present]
Kirk: Romulan Ale. Why, Bones, you know this is illegal.
McCoy: I only use it for medicinal purposes.

McCoy: [handing Kirk a birthday gift, after Kirk hands him the Romulan ale] Now you open this one.
Kirk: [taking gift] I'm almost afraid to. What is it, Klingon aphrodisiacs?
McCoy: No. More antiques for your collection.

McCoy: [grabbing Spock's arm] You're not going in there!
Spock: Perhaps you're right. What is Mr. Scott's condition?
McCoy: [turns to Scotty] Well I don't think that he...
[Spock use the vulcan nerve pinch on McCoy]
Spock: I'm sorry, Doctor, I have no time to explain this logically.
[sits McCoy down and performs mind meld]
Spock: Remember!

Kirk: [In awe and giddy at being back on board the Enterprise Bridge]
McCoy: Do you want a tranquilizer?
Kirk: [shakes head quickly]

Kirk: Engine room. Well done, Scotty!
McCoy: Jim... I think you'd better get down here.
Kirk: Bones?
McCoy: Better hurry...

Kirk: [to McCoy, who is still lying where he fell during Saavik's simulation] Physician, heal thyself.
McCoy: Is that all you've got to say? What about my performance?
Kirk: I'm not a drama critic!

McCoy: [reference to the turbolift] Who's been holding up the damn elevator?

---

Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (1991)

Captain James T. Kirk: Bones, are you afraid of the future?
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: I believe that was the general idea that I was trying to convey.
Captain James T. Kirk: I don't mean this future.
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: What is this, multiple choice?

General Chang: "I am constant as the northern star...?
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: I'd give real money if he'd shut up.

[after Kirk and Martia kiss passionately]
McCoy: What IS it with you, anyway?
Kirk: Still think we're finished?
McCoy: Now, more than ever!

Captain Spock: The lieutenant was the first Vulcan to be graduated at the top of her class.
Captain James T. Kirk: You must be very proud.
Lieutenant Valeris: I don't believe so.
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: She's a Vulcan all right.

Admiral Cartwright: I don't know whether to congratulate you or not, Jim.
McCoy: I wouldn't.

[the crew enter the bridge]
Kirk: Once again, we've saved civilization as we know it.
McCoy: And the good news is they're not going to prosecute.
Uhuru: They might as well have prosecuted me. I felt like Lt. Valeris.
McCoy: [looks at Spock] Well, they don't prosecute people for having feelings.
Chekov: Just as well, or we'll all have to turn ourselves in.

Captain Spock: Doctor, would you care to assist me in performing surgery on a photon torpedo?
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: Fascinating!

Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: I'm gonna find myself a black pot of coffee

General Chang: [prosecuting] Doctor McCoy. What is your current medical status?
McCoy: Well, aside from a touch of arthritis, I'd say pretty good.
[some scattered laughter from the audience; McCoy smiles, but sees Chang, unsmiling]
General Chang: You have a singular wit, Doctor.

Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: Why, that cunning little Vulcan!

Kirk: What are we all doing here?
McCoy: Maybe they're throwing us a retirement party.
Scotty: That suits me. I just bought a boat.
Cmdr. Nyota Uhura: This had better be good. I'm supposed to be chairing a seminar at the Academy.
Chekov: Captain, isn't this just for top brass?
McCoy: If we're all here, where's Sulu?
Kirk: *Captain* Sulu, on assignment. Where's Spock?

Admiral Cartwright: Arrest those men!
McCoy: Arrest yourself.

Captain James T. Kirk: [Spock has beamed Kirk and Bones aboard just before they find out who framed them] No! No! Of all the - son of a - Couldn't you have waited two seconds? They were just about to tell us the whole thing!
Commander Pavel Andreievich Chekov: You want to go back?
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: Absolutely not!
Captain James T. Kirk: [whispering] It's cold.

Captain James T. Kirk: Where's that damn torpedo?
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: It's ready, Jim. Lock and load!
Captain James T. Kirk: [clenches fist] Fire!

[Spock and McCoy are heading for the Torpedo bay]
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: Bet you wished you'd stood in bed!

Captain James T. Kirk: [Valeris has just engaged thrusters to take Enterprise out of Spacedock] Thank you Lieutenant, ahead one quarter impulse power
Lieutenant Valeris: [spins in chair to face Kirk] Sir! May I remind you that regulations specify thrusters only whilst in spacedock.
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: [the bridge crew cough loudly, Chekov shakes his head, Uhura tuts softly. McCoy leans in to tease Spock] Jim?
Captain James T. Kirk: You heard the order, Lieutenant...
Lieutenant Valeris: Aye, Sir!

Martia: You're Kirk and McCoy, I presume.
Captain James T. Kirk: How did you know that?
Martia: We don't get many presidential assassins.
Captain James T. Kirk: We didn't kill Gorkon!
Martia: Of course not. But there is a reward for your death.
McCoy: That figures.

---

Star Trek (2009)

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Dammit, man! I'm a doctor, not a physicist!

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Permission to speak freely, sir?
Spock: I welcome it.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Do you? OK, then. Are you out of your Vulcan mind? Are you making a logical choice, sending Kirk away? Probably. But, the right one? You know, back home we have a saying: "If you're gonna ride in the Kentucky Derby, you don't leave your prize stallion in the stable."
Spock: A curious metaphor, doctor, as a stallion must first be broken before it can reach its potential.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: My God, man, you could at least ACT like it was a hard decision.
Spock: I intend to assist in the effort to reestablish communication with Starfleet. However, if crew morale is better served by my roaming the halls weeping, I will gladly defer to your medical expertise. Excuse me.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: [as Spock leaves] Green-blooded hobgoblin.

James T. Kirk: [on Spock] Who was that pointy-eared bastard?
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: I don't know, but I like him.

James T. Kirk: What are you doing?
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: I'm doing you a favor. I couldn't just leave you there looking all pathetic. Take a seat. I'm gonna give you a vaccine against viral infection from Melvaren mud fleas.
James T. Kirk: OW! What for?
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: To give you the symptoms.
James T. Kirk: What are you talking about?
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: You're gonna start to lose vision in your left eye.
James T. Kirk: Yeah, I already have.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Oh, and you're gonna get a really bad headache and a flop sweat.
James T. Kirk: You call this a favor?
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Yeah. You owe me one.

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: I may throw up on ya.
James T. Kirk: I think these things are pretty safe.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Don't pander to me, kid. One tiny crack in the hull and our blood boils in thirteen seconds. Solar flare might crop up, cook us in our seats. And wait'll you're sitting pretty with a case of Andorian shingles, see if you're still so relaxed when your eyeballs are bleeding. Space is disease and danger wrapped in darkness and silence.
James T. Kirk: Well, I hate to break this to you, but Starfleet operates in space.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Yeah. Well, I got nowhere else to go. The ex-wife took the whole damn planet in the divorce. All I got left is my bones.

Flight Officer: You need a doctor.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: I told you people I don't need a doctor, dammit - I AM a doctor!
Flight Officer: You need to get back to your seat.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: I had one. In the bathroom with no windows.
Flight Officer: You need to get back in your seat, NOW.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: I suffer from aviophobia - it means fear of dying in something that flies!
Flight Officer: Sir, for your own safety, sit down or else I'll make you sit down!

Spock: [on intercom] Dr Puri, report.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: It's McCoy. Dr. Puri was on Deck 6. He's dead.
Spock: Then you have just inherited his responsibility as Chief Medical Officer.
[McCoy looks at a burning medical room full of casualties from the attack]
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Yeah, tell me something I DON"T know!

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Well, congratulations, Jim. We've got no captain and no god-damned first officer to replace him.
Kirk: Yeah, we do.
[Kirk sits himself into the captain's chair]
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: What?
Hikaru Sulu: Pike made him first officer.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: You gotta be kidding me!
Kirk: Thanks for the support.
Lt. Nyota Uhura: I sure hope you know what you're doing...
Lt. Nyota Uhura: [sarcastically] ... CAPTAIN.
Kirk: So do I.

Security Officer: [McCoy is half-carrying a loopy Kirk after injecting him with a vaccine. Kirk is scanned] Kirk, James T. He is not cleared for duty aboard the Enterprise.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Medical code states "The treatment and transport of a patient is to be determined at the discretion of his attending physician" - which is me! - so I'm taking Mr. Kirk aboard, or would you like to explain to Captain Pike why the Enterprise warped into a crisis without one of its senior medical officers?
Security Officer: As you were.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: [irritably] As YOU were!
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: [to Kirk] Come on!
[He drags Kirk onto the ship]

James T. Kirk: [still suffering from the vaccine] My mouth is itchy. Is that normal?
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Well, those symptoms won't last long. I'm going to give you a mild sedative.
James T. Kirk: Oh, I wish I didn't know you.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Don't be such an infant.
[He jabs Kirk with a hypodermic needle]
James T. Kirk: OWW! How long's it supposed to...
[he suddenly collapses on the bed]
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: [Shaking his head] Unbelievable.

Kirk: [highly agitated and suffering side effects from McCoy hypospray] Uhura! Uhura!
Lt. Nyota Uhura: Kirk? What are you doing here?
Kirk: The transmission from the Klingon prison planet. What exactly...
Lt. Nyota Uhura: Oh, my God, what's wrong with your hands?
Kirk: [waves off the question with his bloated hands] I-i-it's... Look, who is responsible for the attack...
Lt. Nyota Uhura: What?
Kirk: ...and was the ship walullaa?
Lt. Nyota Uhura: "And was the ship... WHAT?"
Kirk: [to McCoy] Whass happening to my mouth?
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: You got numb-tongue?
Kirk: NUM-TUNG?
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: I can fix that!
[hurries off to find another hypospray]
Lt. Nyota Uhura: Was the ship what?
Kirk: Womulan!
Lt. Nyota Uhura: What? I...
Kirk: WOMULAN!
Lt. Nyota Uhura: Romulan?
Kirk: Yeah!
Lt. Nyota Uhura: Yes!
Kirk: Yes?
[Bones injects him with another hypospray]
Kirk: ACK! ACK!
[trying to say 'dammit']
Kirk: DAHHIT!

James T. Kirk: Bones, doesn't it bother you that no one's ever passed the test?
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Jim, it's the Kobayashi Maru. NO one passes the test, and no one goes back for seconds, let alone thirds.
James T. Kirk: [leaving] I gotta study.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Study, my ass.

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Wait a minute, kid. How old are you?
Pavel Chekov: Seventeen, sir.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Oh... oh, good, he's seventeen.
Spock: Doctor... Mr. Chekov is correct.

James T. Kirk: Where are we?
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Medical Bay.
James T. Kirk: This isn't worth it.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: A little suffering's good for the soul.

Lt. Nyota Uhura: [During the Kobayashi Maru test] We are receiving a distress signal from the U.S.S. Kobayashi Maru. The ship has lost power and is stranded. Starfleet Command has ordered us to rescue them.
James T. Kirk: [clearly enjoying himself] "Starfleet Command has ordered us to rescue them... CAPTAIN."
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: [rolls his eyes] Two Klingon vessels have entered the Neutral Zone and are locking weapons on us.
James T. Kirk: [Smugly] That's okay.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: "That's okay?"
James T. Kirk: Yeah, don't worry about it.
Test Administrator: Did he say "Don't worry about it?"
Test Administrator: Is he not taking the simulation seriously?

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Three more Klingon warbirds decloaking and targeting our ship. I don't suppose this is a problem either.
Simulator Tactical Officer: They're firing, Captain.
James T. Kirk: Alert Medical Bay to prepare to receive ALL crew members from the damaged ship.
Lt. Nyota Uhura: And how do you expect us to rescue them when we're surrounded by Klingons, Captain?
James T. Kirk: [not taking anything or anyone seriously] Alert Medical
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Our ship's being hit. Shields at sixty percent.
James T. Kirk: [nonchalantly] I understand.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: [exasperated] Well, should we - I dunno - fire back?
James T. Kirk: [pulls an apple out of nowhere and starts munching] No.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Of COURSE not.
[the entire simulation suddenly shuts down, then starts back up]
Test Administrator: What is this? What's going on?
James T. Kirk: Hm. Arm photons. Prepare to fire on the Klingon warbirds.
Simulator Tactical Officer: Yessir.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Jim, their shields are still up!
James T. Kirk: Are they?
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: [checks again] No... They're not.
James T. Kirk: Fire on all enemy ships. One photon each should do. Let's not waste ammunition.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Target locked and acquired on all warbirds. Firing.
[the simulation shows the birds being destroyed one by one]
Simulator Tactical Officer: All ships destroyed, Captain.
James T. Kirk: Begin rescue of the stranded crew.
James T. Kirk: [grandstanding his victory] So! We've managed to eliminate all enemy ships, no one on board was injured AND the successful rescue of the Kobayashi Maru crew is... underway.
[takes a large bite out of his apple]

Kirk: [Bolts out of bed suddenly from being sedated] Lightning storm!
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Ah, Jim, you're awake. How do you feel?
[He looks down, suddenly growing alarmed]
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Good God, man!
Kirk: What? AH!
[He yelps and raises his hands, which are now twice their normal size]
Kirk: What the hell's this?
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: A reaction to the vaccine, dammit! Nurse Chapel, I need 50 cc's of cortizone!
Nurse Chapel: Yes, sir!
[He starts scanning Kirk while Kirk replays Chekov's message]
Pavel Chekov: [on the computer] ... appeared to be a lightning storm in space.
Kirk: Bones! We gotta stop the ship!
[He takes off running down the hall]
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: [running after him] Jim! I'm not kidding, you need to keep your heart rate down!
[he fumbles through a first aid kit while Jim accesses another computer console]
Kirk: Computer, locate crew member Uhura.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: You know, I haven't seen a reaction this bad since med school!
Kirk: We're flying into a trap!
[He starts running again]
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Dammit, Jim, stand still!
[injects him yet again]
Kirk: [yelps in pain] OW! STOP THAT!
[he runs through the engine room, looking for Uhura]

---

Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (1984)

Kirk: How are we doing?
McCoy: How are "we" doing? Funny you should put it quite that way, Jim. "We" are doing fine.

Kirk: You're suffering from a Vulcan mind-meld, doctor.
McCoy: That green-blooded son of a bitch! It's his revenge for all the arguments he lost.

Alien: To your planet, welcome.
McCoy: I think that's *my* line, stranger.
Alien: Oh, forgive. I here am new. But you are known, being McCoy from Enterprise.
McCoy: You have me at a disadvantage, sir.
Alien: Oh, I name not important. You seek I. Message received. Available ship stands by.
McCoy: How much and how soon?
Alien: How soon is now. How much is, where?
McCoy: Somewhere in the Mutara sector.
Alien: Oh, Mutara restricted! Take permits many; money more.
McCoy: There aren't gonna be any damned permits! How can you get a permit to do a damned illegal thing? Look, price you name, money I got.
Alien: Place *you* name, money *I* name, otherwise bargain, no.
McCoy: Alright, damn it! It's Genesis! The name of the place we're going is GENESIS!
Alien: Genesis?
McCoy: Yes, Genesis! How can you be deaf with ears like that?
Alien: Genesis allowed is not! Is planet forbidden!

Kirk: Scan for vessels in pursuit.
McCoy: [in Spock's voice and manner] Scanning. Indications negative at this time.
[everyone stares at him]
McCoy: [as himself] Did I get it right?

Kirk: [showing the Vulcan salute] How many fingers do I have up?
McCoy: That's not very damn funny.
Kirk: You're sense of humors returned!
McCoy: The hell it has!

[Kirk finds McCoy in Spock's quarters]
McCoy: Jim... help me. You left me... on Genesis... why did you do that? Help me...
Kirk: Bones? What the hell are you doing? Have you lost your mind?
McCoy: Help me, Jim. Take me home.
Kirk: Home is where we are. We are home.
McCoy: Then perhaps it's not too late. Climb the steps, Jim. Climb the steps of Mt. Seleyah.
Kirk: Mt. Seleyah? Bones, Mt. Seleyah's on Vulcan. We're home. On Earth.
McCoy: Remember...

"Mr. Adventure": Look at you. You're a twenty-year space veteran, yet you pick the worst duty station in town. I mean, look at this place. This is the hind end of space.
Commander Nyota Uhura: Peace and quiet appeals to me, Lieutenant.
"Mr. Adventure": Well, maybe that's OK for someone like you, whose career is winding down. But me, I need some excitement, some adventure... maybe even just a surprise or two.
Commander Nyota Uhura: Well, you know what they say, Lieutenant. Be careful what you wish for. You might get it.
[Kirk, McCoy and Sulu enter the transporter room]
Kirk: Uhura, is everything ready?
Commander Nyota Uhura: Step into my parlor, gentlemen.
"Mr. Adventure": That's Admiral Kirk, my God!
Commander Nyota Uhura: Very good for you, Lieutenant.
"Mr. Adventure": But it's damned irregular. No destination points, no encoded ID's.
Commander Nyota Uhura: All true.
"Mr. Adventure": So what are we gonna do about it?
Commander Nyota Uhura: I'm not gonna do anything about it. You're gonna sit in the closet.
"Mr. Adventure": The *closet*? Have you lost your sense of reality?
Commander Nyota Uhura: This isn't reality.
[Turns a phaser on him]
Commander Nyota Uhura: This is fantasy. You wanted adventure, how's this? The old adrenaline going, huh? Good boy. Now get in the closet.
"Mr. Adventure": OK...
Commander Nyota Uhura: Go on.
"Mr. Adventure": I'll just get in the closet. All right! Damn!
[Falls into the closet and shuts the door]
McCoy: I'm glad you're on *our* side!
Kirk: [Pointing to the closet] Are you sure you can handle...?
Commander Nyota Uhura: Oh, I'll have Mr Adventure eating out of my hand, and I'll see all of you at the rendezvous.

[Witnessing the destruction of the Enterprise]
Kirk: My God, Bones... what have I done?
McCoy: What you had to do. What you always do: turn death into a fighting chance to live.

Sulu: One minute to space doors.
McCoy: What, are you just going to walk through them?
Adm. James T. Kirk: Calm yourself doctor!

[the Enterprise faces off against a cloaked Klingon Bird of Prey]
Kirk: If my guess is right, she'll have to de-cloak before she can fire.
McCoy: May all your guesses be right.

McCoy: Rapid aging. All genetic metabolism accelerated.
Kirk: What about his mind?
McCoy: His mind is a void. It seems, Admiral, that I've got all his marbles.

[McCoy is informed of the danger of the transfusion]
McCoy: I choose the danger!
[to Kirk]
McCoy: hell of a time to ask...

McCoy: [to an unconscious Spock] I'm gonna tell you something that I... never thought I'd ever hear myself say. But it seems I've... missed you. And I don't know if I could stand to lose you again.

---

"Star Trek: Bread and Circuses (#2.25)" (1968)

Spock: Need any help, Doctor?
Dr. McCoy: Whatever gave you that idea?
Maximus: Fight, you pointed-eared freak!
Dr. McCoy: You tell him, buster!

Spock: Doctor, if I were able to show emotion, your new infatuation with that term would begin to annoy me.
Dr. McCoy: What term? 'Logic?' Medical men are trained in logic, Mr. Spock.
Spock: Really, Doctor? I had no idea they were trained. Watching you, I assumed it was trial and error.
Flavius: [privately to Kirk] Are they enemies, Captain?
Capt. Kirk: I'm not sure they're sure.

Spock: I find the checks and balances of this civilization quite illuminating.
Dr. McCoy: Next he'll be telling us he prefers it over Earth history.
Spock: They do seem to have escaped the carnage of your first three world wars, Doctor.
Dr. McCoy: They have slavery, gladiatorial games, despotism.
Spock: Situations quite familiar to the six million who died in your first world war, the eleven million who died in your second, the thirty-seven million who died in your third. Shall I go on?
Claudius Marcus: Interesting...

[Spock and Dr. McCoy are locked in a prison cell]
Dr. McCoy: Spock, er, I know we've, er, had our disagreements. Er, maybe they're jokes, I don't know. As Jim says, we're not often sure ourselves sometimes. But, er... what I'm trying to say is...
Spock: Doctor, I am seeking a means of escape. Will you please be brief?
Dr. McCoy: Well, what I'm trying to say is, you saved my life in the arena.
Spock: Yes, that's quite true.
Dr. McCoy: [Indignant] I'm trying to thank you, you pointed-eared hobgoblin!
Spock: Oh, yes. You humans have that emotional need to express gratitude. "You're welcome," I believe, is the correct response.

Dr. McCoy: You know why you're not afraid to die, Spock? You're more afraid of living. Each day you stay alive is just one more day you might slip and let your human half peek out. That's it, isn't it? Insecurity. Why, you wouldn't know what to do with a genuine, warm, decent feeling.
Spock: Really, doctor?
Dr. McCoy: I know. I'm worried about Jim, too.

Dr. McCoy: Once, just once, I'd like to be able to land someplace and say "Behold, I am the Archangel Gabriel."
Spock: I fail to see the humor in that situation, Doctor.
Dr. McCoy: Naturally. You could hardly claim to be an angel with those pointed ears, Mr. Spock. But say you landed someplace with a pitchfork...

Dr. McCoy: [Upon being released from their cell by Kirk] What happened, Jim?
Spock: What did they do to you, Captain?
Capt. Kirk: [Reflecting on his night with the slave Drusilla] They... threw me a few curves...

Spock: [scanning with his tricorder] Fascinating. This atmosphere is remarkably similar to your 20th Century: Moderately industrialized pollution, containing substantial amounts of carbon monoxide, and partially-consumed hydrocarbons.
Dr. McCoy: The word was "smog".
Spock: Yes, I believe that was the term. I had no idea you were that much of a historian, Doctor.
Dr. McCoy: I am not, Mr. Spock. I was simply trying to stop you from giving us a whole lecture on the subject.

Dr. McCoy: Odd that these people should worship the sun.
Spock: Why, Doctor?
Dr. McCoy: Because, my dear Mr. Spock, it is illogical. Rome had no sun worshipers. Why should they parallel Rome in every way except one?

Claudius Marcus: Now, Captain, what are you going to order your men to do?
Capt. Kirk: If I brought down a hundred of them armed with phasers...
Claudius Marcus: Uh, you could probably defeat the combined armies of our entire empire - and violate your oath regarding noninterference with other societies. I believe you all swear you'd die before you'd violate that directive, am I right?
Spock: Quite correct.
Dr. McCoy: Must you always be so blasted honest?
Claudius Marcus: [laughs] But on the other hand, why even bother to send your men down? From what I understand, your vessel could lay waste to the entire surface of the world. Oh, but there's that Prime Directive in the way again. Can't interfere.
Merik: Jim, you've already started a message. Your engineer's waiting. What are you going to do?

Flavius: At least defend yourself.
Dr. McCoy: I AM defending myself!

---

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986)

Kirk: Out of the way...
Shore Patrolman: Sorry, Doctor, I have strict orders...
Dr. Gillian Taylor: [Gillian moans in pain]
McCoy: My God, man. Do you want an acute case on your hands? This woman has immediate postprandial, upper-abdominal distention. Now, out of the way! Get out of the way!
[They enter the operating room]
Kirk: What did you say she has?
McCoy: Cramps.

McCoy: I mean, I may have carried your soul, but I sure couldn't fill your shoes.
Spock: My shoes?
McCoy: Forget it.

McCoy: [McCoy, masked and in surgical garb, passes an elderly woman groaning on a gurney in the hallway] What's the matter with you?
Elderly patient: [weakly] Kidney
[pause]
Elderly patient: dialysis.
McCoy: [geniunely surprised] Dialysis?
[musing to himself]
McCoy: What is this, the Dark Ages?
[He turns back to the patient and hands her a large white pill]
McCoy: Here,
[pause]
McCoy: you swallow that, and if you have any more problems, just call me!
[He pats her cheek and leaves]

McCoy: My God, man! Drilling holes in his head isn't the answer! Now put away your butcher knives and let me save this patient before it's too late!

Kirk: Mr. Spock, have you accounted for the variable mass of whales and water in your time re-entry program?
Spock: Mr. Scott cannot give me exact figures, Admiral, so... I will make a guess.
Kirk: A guess? You, Spock? That's extraordinary.
Spock: [to Dr. McCoy] I don't think he understands.
McCoy: No, Spock. He means that he feels safer about your guesses than most other people's facts.
Spock: Then you're saying,
[pause]
Spock: It is a compliment?
McCoy: It is.
Spock: Ah. Then, I will try to make the best guess I can.

McCoy: You realize that by giving him the formula you're altering the future.
Scotty: Why? How do we know he didn't invent the thing?

McCoy: [Dr. McCoy is talking about Mr. Spock]
McCoy: I don't know if you've got the whole picture, but he's not exactly working on all thrusters.

McCoy: You're going to try time traveling in this rustbucket?
Kirk: Well, we've done it before.
McCoy: Sure, you slingshot around the Sun, pick up enough speed - You're in time warp. If you don't, you're fried.
Kirk: I prefer it to nothing.
McCoy: I prefer a dose of common sense! You're proposing that we go backwards in time, find humpback whales, then bring them foward in time, drop 'em off, and hope to Hell they tell this probe what to do with itself!
Kirk: That's the general idea.
McCoy: Well, that's crazy!
Kirk: You've got a better idea?
[pause]
Kirk: Now's the time.

McCoy: Hi. Busy?
Spock: Uhura is busy. I am monitoring.

McCoy: Perhaps, we could cover a little philosophical ground. Life
[pause]
McCoy: Death
[pause]
McCoy: Life.
[pause]
McCoy: Things of that nature.
Spock: I did not have time on Vulcan to review the philosophical disciplines.
McCoy: C'mon, Spock, it's me, McCoy. You really have gone where no man's gone before. Can't you tell me what it felt like?
Spock: It would be impossible to discuss the subject without a common frame-of-reference.
McCoy: You're joking!
Spock: A joke
[pause]
Spock: is a story with a humorous climax.
McCoy: You mean I have to die to discuss your insights on death?
Spock: Forgive me, Doctor. I am receiving a number of distress calls.
McCoy: I don't doubt it.

McCoy: [probing Chekov's head] Tearing of the middle meningeal artery...
Doctor #1: What's your degree in, dentistry?
McCoy: How do YOU explain slowing pulse, low respiratory rate and coma?
Doctor #1: Fundascopic examination!
McCoy: Fundascopic examination is unrevealing in these cases!
Doctor #1: A simple evacuation of the epidural hematoma will relieve the pressure!
McCoy: My God man, drilling holes in his head is not the answer! The artery must be repaired! Now, put away your butcher's knives and let me save this patient before it's too late!

---

"Star Trek: The Ultimate Computer (#2.24)" (1968)

Wesley: U.S.S. Enterprise from Starships Lexington and Excalibur. Both ships report simulated hits in sufficient quantity and location to justify awarding the surprise engagement to Enterprise.
Captain James T. Kirk: Secure from general quarters.
Wesley: Our complements to the M-5 unit and regards to Captain Dunsell. Wesley out.
Dr. McCoy: Dunsell? Who the blazes is Captain Dunsell? What does it mean, Jim?
[a shaken Kirk leaves the bridge without looking anyone in the eye]
Dr. McCoy: Spock? What does it mean?
Mr. Spock: "Dunsell," Doctor, is a term used by midshipmen at Star Fleet Academy. It refers to a part which serves no useful purpose.

Dr. McCoy: Compassion. That's the one thing no machine ever had. Maybe it's the one thing that keeps men ahead of them. Care to debate that, Spock?
Mr. Spock: No, Doctor. I simply maintain that computers are more efficient than human beings, not better.
Dr. McCoy: But, tell me, which do you prefer to have around?
Mr. Spock: I presume you question is meant to offer me a choice between machines and human beings. And I believe I have already answered that question.
Dr. McCoy: I was just trying to make conversation, Spock.
Mr. Spock: It would be most interesting to impress your memory engrams on a computer, Doctor. The resulting torrential flood of illogic would be most entertaining.

Dr. McCoy: Did you see the lovelight in Spocks eyes? The right computer finally came along.

Captain James T. Kirk: What are you doing here, Bones?
Dr. McCoy: Well, all the sickbay systems are shut down until such time as the M-5 is informed there are patients to be cared for.

Dr. McCoy: Fantastic machine, the M-5: no off-switch.

Dr. McCoy: I don't like it, Jim. A vessel this size cannot be run by one computer.
Mr. Spock: We are attempting to prove that it can run this ship more efficiently than Man.
Dr. McCoy: Maybe YOU'RE trying to prove that, Spock, but don't count ME in on it!
Mr. Spock: The most unfortunate lack in current computer programming is that there is nothing available to immediately replace the starship surgeon.
Dr. McCoy: Very funny. If it could, they wouldn't have to replace me - I'd resign, because everybody else aboard would be nothing but circuits and memory banks! You know the type, Spock. Jim, you haven't had much to say about this...
Captain James T. Kirk: What do you want me to say? M-5 is an honor, they tell me. Well, I'm honored!

Mr. Spock: [Checking his scanner following M-5's destruction of an unmanned ship] All systems report normal, Captain.
Dr. McCoy: [incensed] Normal? That thing is tryin' to tell us nothing has happened!
Captain James T. Kirk: Disengage this computer now!
Dr. Richard Daystrom: There appears to be some defect in the control panel.
Dr. McCoy: There certainly DOES! Your brilliant young computer just destroyed an ore freighter! In fact, it went OUT OF ITS WAY to destroy an ore freighter!
Dr. Richard Daystrom: Fortunately, it was only a robot ship...
Dr. McCoy: [in disbelief] "Only a robot..."
Captain James T. Kirk: But it shouldn't have destroyed anything! There might just as easily have been a crew aboard that ship.
Dr. McCoy: In which case, you would be guilty of murder in the...
Captain James T. Kirk: [interrupting] Bones!
Captain James T. Kirk: [to Daystrom] Disengage the computer.
Captain James T. Kirk: [to Uhura] Lieutenant, contact Starfleet Command. Tell them we are breaking off M-5 tests and returning to the space station.
Captain James T. Kirk: [to Daystrom] Come along, Dr. Daystrom. M-5 is out of a job!

Dr. McCoy: Where is Daystrom?
Captain James T. Kirk: He's with the M-5 unit, watching it. I think it surprised even him.
Mr. Spock: Most illogical. Of all people, he should have known how the computer would perform. Of course, the M-5 itself has not behaved logically.
Dr. McCoy: Please, Spock, do me a favor and don't say it's fascinating.
Mr. Spock: No, but it is... interesting.
[as Spock leaves, Bones rolls his eyes]

Captain James T. Kirk: Am I afraid of losing command to a computer? Daystrom was right. I can do a lot of other things. Am I afraid of losing the prestige and the power that goes with being a starship captain? Is that why I'm fighting it? Am I that petty?
Dr. McCoy: Jim, if you have the awareness to ask yourself that question, you don't need me to answer it for you. Why don't you ask James T. Kirk? He's a pretty honest guy.

Captain James T. Kirk: Genius is an understatement. At the age of twenty four, he made the duotronic breakthrough that won him the Nobel and Zee-Magnes prizes.
Dr. McCoy: In his early twenties, Jim. That's over a quarter of a century ago.
Captain James T. Kirk: Isn't that enough for one lifetime?
Dr. McCoy: Maybe that's the trouble. Where do you go from up? You publish articles, you give lectures, then spend your life trying to recapture past glory.
Captain James T. Kirk: All right, it's difficult. What's your point?
Dr. McCoy: The M-1 through M-4, remember? Not entirely successful. That's the way Daystrom put it.
Captain James T. Kirk: But genius doesn't work on an assembly line basis. Did Einstein, Kazanga, or Sitar of Vulcan produce new and revolutionary theories on a regular schedule? You can't simply say, "Today, I will be brilliant." No matter how long it took, he came out with multitronics. The M-5.
Dr. McCoy: Right. The government bought it, then Daystrom had to make it work. And he did, but according to Spock, it works illogically.
Captain James T. Kirk: And he won't let Spock near it. What are you saying, that he's tampering with it, that he's making it act that way? Why?
Dr. McCoy: Jim, if a man had a child who'd gone antisocial - killed, perhaps - he'd still tend to protect that child.

Uhura: Sir, sensors are picking up four Federation starships. M-5 is altering course to intercept.
Captain James T. Kirk: The main attack force. The war games.
Dr. McCoy: But M-5 doesn't know it's a game.
Captain James T. Kirk: Correction, Bones. Those four ships don't know it's M-5's game. And M-5 is going to destroy them.

---

"Star Trek: Friday's Child (#2.11)" (1967)

[helping a pregnant woman up a steep hill]
McCoy: Look! I'm a doctor, not an escalator. Spock, gimme a hand!

McCoy: [speaking of Eleen] Representing the High Tier, Leonard James Akaar!
Spock: The child was named Leonard James Akaar?
McCoy: Has a kind of a ring to it, don't you think, James?
Captain James T. Kirk: Yes, I think it's a name destined to go down in galactic history, Leonard. What do you think, Spock?
Spock: I think you're both gonna be insufferably pleased with yourselves for at least a month... sir.

Captain James T. Kirk: How'd you arrange to touch her, Bones, give her a happy pill?
McCoy: No, a right cross.
Captain James T. Kirk: Never seen that in a medical book.
McCoy: It's in mine from now on.

Captain James T. Kirk: First of all, I must protest the killing of one of my crewmen.
Akaar: If it was your man, was it not his privilege to die for you? I do not understand.
Maab: Their customs are different, Tier.
Kras: And different from those of my people, too, Tier. The sight of death frightens them.
McCoy: [quietly] Let me take this, Jim.
McCoy: [to Akaar] What Maab has said is true. Our customs ARE different. What the Klingon has said is unimportant and we do not hear his words.
[Capellans chuckle appreciatively]
McCoy: [whispering privately to Kirk] I just called the Klingon a liar.

McCoy: [holding his hand on Eleens throat] Answer me! Do you want my help?
[she nods]
McCoy: All right. Say to yourself: "The child is mine. The child is mine. It is MINE!"
Eleen: Yes. It's yours.
McCoy: No, no, you've got it all wrong.

Captain James T. Kirk: What happened, Bones?
McCoy: My patient spattered me with a rock. She's gone.

McCoy: Does Maab know that the Klingons are our sworn enemies, by their own words?
Maab: We understand only that he also offers things of value for our rocks, that he has freely handed us his weapons and other devices. Will you do the same?
Captain James T. Kirk: Let me call my ship to inform them...
Kras: ...to bring down an attack upon their village? It is as I told you, Maab: Earthmen fear to bargain honestly.

Captain James T. Kirk: Perhaps you'll explain to me why one of my men is dead.
McCoy: 'Cause he was drawing a weapon on another of their guests!

[a young Capellan woman offers Captain Kirk a piece of fruit]
McCoy: [alarmed] JIM! You touch it, her nearest male relative will have to try to kill you. They're offering you a chance for combat. They consider it more pleasurable than love.

McCoy: Captain, I'm gonna fix that woman's arm. They can only kill me once for touching her.

McCoy: The last thing I'll want around is a ham-handed ship's captain.

---

"Star Trek: The Immunity Syndrome (#2.18)" (1968)

Mr. Spock: [Kirk has chosen Spock over McCoy for the mission] We're wasting time. The shuttlecraft is ready.
Dr. McCoy: You're determined not to let me share in this, aren't you?
Mr. Spock: This is not a competition, Doctor. Whether you understand it or not, grant me my own kind of dignity.
Dr. McCoy: Vulcan dignity? How can I grant you what I don't understand?
Mr. Spock: Then employ one of your own superstitions - Wish me luck.
[Spock walks into the shuttlecraft bay and climbs aboard the shuttlecraft. The bay door closes]
Dr. McCoy: [quietly] Good luck, Spock.

Mr. Spock: [Kirk has ordered a tractor beam placed on the shuttlecraft.] Captain, I recommend you abandon the attempt. Do not risk the ship further on my behalf.
Dr. McCoy: Shut up, Spock, we're rescuing you!
Mr. Spock: Why, thank you, *Captain* McCoy.

Dr. McCoy: Spock, how can you be so sure the Intrepid was destroyed?
Mr. Spock: I sensed it die.
Dr. McCoy: But I thought you had to be in physical contact with a subject before...
Mr. Spock: Doctor, even I, a half-Vulcan, could hear the death scream of four hundred Vulcan minds crying out over the distance between us.
Dr. McCoy: Not even a Vulcan could feel a starship die.
Mr. Spock: Call it a deep understanding of the way things happen to Vulcans, but I know that not a person, not even the computers on board the Intrepid, knew what was killing them or would have understood it had they known.
Dr. McCoy: But, 400 Vulcans?
Mr. Spock: I've noticed that about your people, Doctor. You find it easier to understand the death of one than the death of a million. You speak about the objective hardness of the Vulcan heart, yet how little room there seems to be in yours.
Dr. McCoy: Suffer the death of thy neighbour, eh, Spock? Now, you wouldn't wish that on us, would you?
Mr. Spock: It might have rendered your history a bit less bloody.

Christine Chapel: Doctor, they seem to be stabilizing.
Dr. McCoy: But at a dangerously low level. Well, we're still alive. I suppose that's something.

Spock: [in shuttlecraft] Oh, and Dr. McCoy, you would not have survived it.
Dr. McCoy: [on bridge of the Enterprise] You wanna bet?

Capt. Kirk: What is that thing out there, Bones? It's not intelligent, not yet.
Dr. McCoy: It's a disease, like a virus invading the body of our galaxy.
Capt. Kirk: Yes, it is, isn't it? How many cells does a human body have?
Dr. McCoy: Millions.
Capt. Kirk: This thing, this cell, this virus... It's 11,000 miles long, and it's one cell. When it grows into millions... we'll be the virus invading its body.
Dr. McCoy: Now, isn't that a thought? Here we are, antibodies of our own galaxy, attacking an invading germ. Be ironic indeed if that were our sole destiny, wouldn't it?

Capt. Kirk: You got something to say?
Dr. McCoy: Technically, no. Medically, yes. Between the stimulants and the pressure, I would suggest that you try to stay off your feet for a few minutes.
Capt. Kirk: I don't have a few minutes, Bones. Maybe none of us do.

Capt. Kirk: Spock! You're alive!
Mr. Spock: [communicating from shuttlecraft] Obviously, Captain, and I have some fascinating data on the organism.
Dr. McCoy: Don't be so smart, Spock, you botched the acetylcholine tests!

Capt. Kirk: Spock?
Dr. McCoy: What is it, Spock? Are you in pain?
Mr. Spock: Captain, the Intrepid. It just died. And the four hundred Vulcans aboard, all dead.

Dr. McCoy: Jim, according to the life indicators, the energy levels...
Capt. Kirk: Yes, say it, Bones.
Dr. McCoy: According to the life monitors, we're dying. We're all dying.

---

"Star Trek: Wolf in the Fold (#2.14)" (1967)

Captain James T. Kirk: [having introduced Scotty to a beautiful belly dancer] My work is never done.
Dr. McCoy: My work, Jim. This is prescription stuff. Don't forget, the explosion that threw Scotty against a bulkhead was caused by a woman.
Captain James T. Kirk: Physically he's all right. Am I right in assuming that?
Dr. McCoy: Oh, yes, yes. In matter of fact, considerable psychological damage could have been caused. Eh, for example, his total resentment toward women.
Captain James T. Kirk: He seems to be overcoming his resentment.
Captain James T. Kirk: Of course, in my professional opinion, when he gets back to the ship, he's gonna hate you for making him leave Argelius, but then he will have lost total resentment toward women.
Dr. McCoy: Mission accomplished as far as Scotty is concerned. Bones, I know a little place across town where the women...
Dr. McCoy: Yes. I know the place. I know the place, let's go.

Dr. McCoy: But Sybo said that it feeds on death.
Mr. Spock: In the strict scientific sense, Doctor, we all feed on death, even vegetarians.

Captain James T. Kirk: Bones, what's the sedative situation?
Dr. McCoy: I've got some stuff that would tranquilize an active volcano.

Captain James T. Kirk: Bones, what would happen if that thing entered a tranquilized body?
Dr. McCoy: Well, it might take up knitting, nothing more violent than that.

Dr. McCoy: She's dead, Jim.

Dr. McCoy: She's dead, Jim. Just like the other one.
Captain James T. Kirk: Stabbed over and over again.

Captain James T. Kirk: Sybo spoke of a hunger that never dies. Something that thrives on fear, terror, death. Mr. Spock, maybe we're going about it in the wrong way. Let's assume that Sybo was a sensitive. That she DID sense something, something evil.
Mr. Spock: Sensitivity of certain Argelian women is a documented fact, Captain.
Jaris: My poor Sybo's talent was genuine, gentlemen. What she told you was true.
Captain James T. Kirk: All right, then, what was it she said, exactly? A monstrous evil, ancient terror.
Dr. McCoy: That devours all life and light.
Captain James T. Kirk: She said something else, words that didn't make any sense.
Dr. McCoy: Yes. Redjac, Beratis and, er, Kesla.
Captain James T. Kirk: Obscure, meaningless words.
Mr. Spock: To us, perhaps, but to the computer?
Captain James T. Kirk: Ah. Mr. Spock, check them out.

Dr. McCoy: He's dead, Jim.
Captain James T. Kirk: But that's impossible.

Hengist: [holding a knife to Yeoman Tankris' throat] Everybody keep back or I'll kill her! I'll kill her! Keep back!
Dr. McCoy: [sauntering toward him] You'd better be careful. You're going to hurt somebody with that thing.

---

"Star Trek: Miri (#1.8)" (1966)

Dr. McCoy: Now this is marvelous. The most horrible conglomeration of antique architecture I've ever seen.

Dr. McCoy: It's dead. It's incredible.
Capt. Kirk: What is?
Dr. McCoy: It's metabolic rate. It's impossibly high, as if it burning itself up. Almost as if it aged a century in just the past few minutes.

Capt. Kirk: Bones.
Dr. McCoy: Hmm?
Capt. Kirk: Why do you think the symptoms haven't appeared on Mr. Spock?
Dr. McCoy: I don't know. Probably the little bugs or whatever they are have no appetite for green blood.
Mr. Spock: Hmm. Being a red-blooded human obviously has its disadvantages.

Dr. McCoy: A child entering puberty on this planet means a death sentence.

Capt. Kirk: This is the vaccine?
Dr. McCoy: That's what the computers will tell us.
Mr. Spock: Without them, it could be a beaker full of death.

Capt. Kirk: Just children. 300 years old and more. I've already contacted Space Central. They'll send teachers, advisors...
Dr. McCoy: And truant officers, I presume.
Capt. Kirk: They'll be all right.

Capt. Kirk: You two will have to recreate their thinking. If you can isolate that virus, you'll be able to develop a vaccine.
Dr. McCoy: [Spock and McCoy trade incredulous looks] Is that all, Captain? We have five days, you know.

Miri: You got a foolie, is that it? And you want me to play, but I can't. I don't know the rules; I've got to know the rules.
Dr. McCoy: Foolie?
Miri: A game. You know. You can't play a game without rules. You grups ought to know THAT.

Capt. Kirk: What'd you find?
Dr. McCoy: The disease, Captain! The one they created three hundred years ago.
Yeoman Rand: There's a chance!
Dr. McCoy: There's a chance. At least it's a race now, and we just wasted a minute.

---

"Star Trek: Journey to Babel (#2.10)" (1967)

McCoy: How does that Vulcan salute go?
[Spock demonstrates]
McCoy: That hurts worse than the uniform.

McCoy: Spock, I've always suspected you were a little more human than you let on. Mrs. Sarek, I know about the rigorous training of the Vulcan youth, but tell me, did he ever run and play like the human children, even in secret?
Amanda: Well, he, uh, he did have a pet Sehlat he was very fond of.
McCoy: Sehlat?
Amanda: It's sort of a... a fat teddy bear.
McCoy: [grinning] A teddy bear?
Sarek: Excuse me, Doctor. It has been a rather long day for my wife. Captain.
Captain James T. Kirk: Ambassador.
McCoy: [needlingly Spock after Sarek and Amada have gone] "A teddy bear."
Spock: Not precisely, Doctor. On Vulcan the "teddy bears" are alive, and they have 6-inch fangs

McCoy: Mrs. Sarek, you must understand the chances are extremely small to find a way to produce sufficient T-negative blood.
Spock: Indeed. I would estimate the odds...
Amanda: [exasperated] Please don't!

[first lines]
McCoy: [Captain Kirk is adjusting uniform in mirror, Dr. McCoy pacing behind him, tugging at tight collar] Dress uniforms - spit and polish. I don't know how much longer I'm gonna be able to stand this. I feel like my neck's in a sling.

[last lines]
McCoy: [to Spock] Shut up.
[Kirk opens mouth to comment, McCoy interrupts]
McCoy: Shh. Shh.
[Kirk lays back dejectedly]
McCoy: [smiles] Well, what do you know? I finally got the last word.

McCoy: Where do you think you're going?
Spock: I must see the captain.
McCoy: My patients don't walk out in the middle of an operation.

Captain James T. Kirk: Bones...
McCoy: Are you quite through shaking the ship around?
Captain James T. Kirk: Spock, Sarek, how are they?
McCoy: Well I don't mind telling you, you sure make it difficult for a surgeon trying...
Captain James T. Kirk: [raises voice] Bones!

Captain James T. Kirk: [standing over a dead Tellarite] How was he killed?
McCoy: His neck was broken... by an expert.
Captain James T. Kirk: Explain.
McCoy: Well, from the nature and location of the break, I'd say the killer knew exactly where to apply pressure to snap the neck instantly.
Captain James T. Kirk: Who aboard would have that knowledge?
Spock: Vulcans. On Vulcan the method is called Tal-Shaya. It was considered a merciful form of execution in ancient times.

---

"Star Trek: Return to Tomorrow (#2.20)" (1968)

Capt. Kirk: When Sargon and I exchanged, as we passed each other, for an instant, we were one. I know him now. I know what he is and what he wants, and I don't fear him.
Dr. McCoy: That's the most ridiculous statement I've ever heard. An alien practically hijacks your body and then corks you into a bottle, and you...
Ann Mulhall: [interrupting] I'm afraid that I must agree with Dr. McCoy. You could be suffering from a form of... of false euphoria.

Dr. McCoy: They're giants, and we're insects beside them. They could destroy us without meaning to.

Dr. McCoy: [narrating] Medical log, Stardate 4770.3. Do I list one death or two? When Kirk's body died, Sargon was too far distant from his receptacle to transfer back. Sargon is dead. But is Captain Kirk dead? His body is, but his consciousness is still in the receptacle into which it was transferred earlier.

Dr. McCoy: I will not peddle flesh! I'm a physician.

Dr. McCoy: There was enough poison in that hypo to kill 10 Vulcans.
Sargon: No, Doctor, I allowed you to believe that to be true so that Henoch would read your thoughts and believe it also.

Scott: [in astonished disbelief] You're going to WHAT? Are they all right in the head, Doctor?
Dr. McCoy: [boldly] No comment.
Capt. Kirk: A simple transference. Their minds and ours.
Dr. McCoy: [sarcastically] Quite simple. happens every day.

Henoch: [in Spock's body] This is an excellent body, Doctor. I seem to have received the best of the three. Strength, hearing, eyesight, all far above your human norms. I'm surprised the Vulcans never conquered your race.
Dr. McCoy: Vulcans worship peace above all, Henoch.
Henoch: [in Spock's body] Yes, of course, of course. Just as we do, Doctor.

Dr. McCoy: He's dead.

---

"Star Trek: Amok Time (#2.1)" (1967)

Dr. McCoy: [about Spock] There's a growing imbalance of body functions, as if, in our bodies, huge amounts of adrenalin were constantly being pumped into our blood streams. Now, I can't trace it down in my biocomps, Spock won't tell me what it is, but if it isn't stopped somehow, the physical and emotional pressures will simply kill him.
Captain James T. Kirk: You say you're convinced he knows what it is?
Dr. McCoy: He does. And he's as tight-lipped about it as an Aldebaran shellmouth.

Dr. McCoy: Yeah. "Hot as Vulcan." Now I understand what that phrase means.

Dr. McCoy: There's just one thing, Mr. Spock. You can't tell me that when you first saw Jim alive that you weren't on the verge of giving us an emotional scene that would have brought the house down.
Spock: Merely my quite logical relief that Starfleet had not lost a highly proficient captain.
Captain James T. Kirk: Yes, Mr. Spock, I understand.
Spock: Thank you, Captain.
Dr. McCoy: Of course, Mr. Spock. Your reaction was quite logical.
Spock: Thank you, Doctor.
[Kirk and Spock head for the exit]
Dr. McCoy: In a pig's eye!

Dr. McCoy: Jim, when I suggested to Spock that it was time for his routine check-up, your logical, unemotional first officer turned to me and said, "You will cease to pry into my personal matters, Doctor, or I shall certainly break your neck."

Spock: My orders were to report to sick bay, Doctor. I have done so. And now I'll go to my quarters.
Dr. McCoy: My orders were to give you a thorough physical. In case you haven't noticed, I have to report to the same commanding officer that you do! Come on, Spock, yield to the logic of the situation.

Dr. McCoy: If you don't get him to Vulcan within a week, eight days at the outside, he'll die. He'll die, Jim!

Spock: This is our place of kunat kalifee.
Dr. McCoy: [to Kirk as Spock walks forward] He called it "kunat WHAT?"
Captain James T. Kirk: He described it to me as meaning marriage or challenge. In the distant past, Vulcans killed to win their mates.
Dr. McCoy: And they still go mad at this time - perhaps the price they pay for having no emotions the rest of the time.

---

"Star Trek: The Trouble with Tribbles (#2.15)" (1967)

Dr. McCoy: It is a human characteristic to love little animals, especially if they're attractive in some way.
Spock: Doctor, I am well aware of human characteristics. I am frequently inundated by them, but I've trained myself to put up with practically anything.
Dr. McCoy: Spock, I don't know too much about these little tribbles yet, but there is one thing that I have discovered.
Spock: What is that, Doctor?
Dr. McCoy: I like them... better than I like you.
Spock: Doctor?
Dr. McCoy: Yes?
Spock: They do indeed have one redeeming characteristic.
Dr. McCoy: What's that?
Spock: They do not talk too much. If you'll excuse me, sir.

Dr. McCoy: Do you know what you get if you feed a tribble too much?
Capt. Kirk: A fat tribble.
Dr. McCoy: No. You get a whole bunch of hungry little tribbles.
Capt. Kirk: Well, Bones, all I can suggest... is you open up a maternity ward.

Dr. McCoy: Lieutenant, do you mind if I take one of these down to the lab to see what makes it tick?
Uhura: Well, all right, Doctor, but if you're gonna dissect it, I don't want to know about it.
Dr. McCoy: I won't harm a hair on its head... wherever that is.

Capt. Kirk: I wanna know what killed these tribbles.
Dr. McCoy: I haven't figured out what keeps them alive yet.
[leveling the doctor with a look]
Dr. McCoy: All right. If I find out anything, I'll let you know.

Dr. McCoy: Yes? D'you wanna see me, Jim?
[Kirk holds out a handful of tribbles before the doctor's face]
Dr. McCoy: Well, don't look at me. It's the tribbles who are breeding. If we don't get 'em off this ship, we're gonna be hip deep in them.
Capt. Kirk: Would you explain that?
Dr. McCoy: Well, the nearest thing I can figure out is that they're born pregnant - which seems to be quite a time saver.
Capt. Kirk: I know, but really...
Dr. McCoy: And from my observations, it seems they're bisexual, reproducing at will. And, brother, have they got a lot of will.
Spock: Captain, I am forced to agree with the doctor. I've been running computations on their rate of reproduction. The figures are taking an alarming direction. They're consuming our supplies and returning nothing.
Uhura: Oh, but they do give us something, Mr. Spock. They give us love. Well, Cyrano Jones says that a tribble is the only love that money can buy.
Capt. Kirk: Too much of anything, Lieutenant, even love, isn't necessarily a good thing.

Dr. McCoy: [using his tricorder] Heartbeat is all wrong. His body temperature is...
Dr. McCoy: [realizing] Jim, this man is a Klingon.

Dr. McCoy: [enters after Kirk gets covered with tribbles] Jim, I've got it. All we gotta do is stop feeding them. We stop feeding them, they stop breeding.
Capt. Kirk: Now he tells me.

---

"Star Trek: The Gamesters of Triskelion (#2.16)" (1968)

Dr. McCoy: Well, Mr. Spock, if you're going into the lion's den, you'll need a medical officer.
Spock: Daniel, as I recall, had only his faith, but I welcome your company, Doctor.

Dr. McCoy: You're out of your Vulcan mind, Spock!

Dr. McCoy: Hope? I always thought that was a human failing, Mr. Spock.
Spock: True, doctor. Constant exposure does result in a certain degree of - contamination.

Dr. McCoy: It's been nearly an hour. Can people live that long as disassembled atoms in a transporter beam?
Spock: I have never heard of a study being done, but it would be a fascinating project.
Dr. McCoy: Fascinating? Those people are friends of ours out there, if they're still alive.
Spock: Precisely.
Dr. McCoy: Well the odds are not good.
Spock: No. I would say approximately 400...
Dr. McCoy: [interrupting] Don't quote odds and don't give me anymore dispassionate logic, Mr. Spock. Just keep looking for them.
Spock: I would welcome a suggestion, Doctor, even an emotional one, as to where to look.
Dr. McCoy: The first time you've ever asked me for anything, and it has to be an occasion like this.

Dr. McCoy: You're gonna leave here without them and run off on some wild goose chase halfway across the galaxy, just because you found a discrepancy in a hydrogen cloud?
Spock: Doctor, I am chasing the captain, Lieutenant Uhura, and Ensign Chekov, not some wild aquatic fowl.

Spock: Doctor, I do not respond to hunches. No transporter malfunction was responsible for the disappearance. They were not within the Gamma system. A focused beam of extremely high-intensity light was directed into the Gamma system from the trinary system we are now approaching. No known natural phenomena could have caused that beam. Does that clarify the situation?
Dr. McCoy: No, it doesn't, Mr. Spock. It's still a fancy way of saying that you're playing a hunch.

Dr. McCoy: What in the name of heaven is this?
Scott: Heaven's got very little to do with this.

---

"Star Trek: This Side of Paradise (#1.24)" (1967)

Elias Sandoval: Well, Doctor, I've been thinking about what sort of work I could assign you to.
McCoy: [annoyed] What do you mean "what sort of work"? I'm a doctor!
Elias Sandoval: Not anymore, of course. We don't need you, not as a doctor.
McCoy: [stands up] Oh, no? Would you like to see just how fast I can put you in a hospital?
Elias Sandoval: I am the leader of this colony. I'll assign you to whatever work I think is suitable!
[begins to walk away]
McCoy: Just a minute!
[grabs Sandoval]
McCoy: Better make me a mechanic! Then I can treat little tin gods like you!
McCoy: [swings at McCoy - McCoy blocks and punches Sandoval in the stomach. Sandoval doubles over and falls to the ground] Sorry, Sandoval. I don't know what made me do that.
Elias Sandoval: [Sandoval is now free of the spore influence as is McCoy. Sandoval realizes finally what has happened] We've done nothing here. No accomplishments, no progress. Three years wasted. We wanted to make this planet a garden!
McCoy: You can't stay here. You can't survive without the spores. After you've cleared at the starbase, you could be relocated. It depends on what you want.
Elias Sandoval: I think I'd... I think WE'D like to get some work done, the work we started out to do.

Dr. McCoy: On pure speculation, just an educated guess, I'd say that man is alive.

Capt. Kirk: My orders are to remove all the colonists and that's exactly what I intend to do, with or without your help.
Elias Sandoval: Without, I should think.
Dr. McCoy: [after Elias walks off] Would you like to use a butterfly net on him, Jim?

Dr. McCoy: Hey, Jim boy, ya'll ever have a real cold Georgia-style mint julep, huh?

Dr. McCoy: Who wants to counteract paradise, Jim-boy?

Dr. McCoy: Well, that's the second time man's been thrown out of paradise.
Captain James T. Kirk: No, no, Bones, this time we walked out on our own. Maybe we weren't meant for paradise. Maybe we were meant to fight our way through, struggle, claw our way up, scratch for every inch of the way. Maybe we can't stroll to the music of the lute. We must march to the sound of drums.

McCoy: I've examined nine men so far varying in ages form 23 to 59. They're all in perfect condition. Textbook responses. Heart/lungs: excellent. Coordination: excellent. Reflexes: excellent. If there're many more of them, I can throw away my shingle.

---

"Star Trek: A Private Little War (#2.19)" (1968)

Dr. McCoy: I don't have a solution, but furnishing them firearms is certainly not the answer!
Capt. Kirk: Bones, do you remember the twentieth century brush wars on the Asian continent? Two giant powers involved, much like the Klingons and ourselves. Neither side felt that they could pull out?
Dr. McCoy: Yes, I remember. It went on bloody year after bloody year!
Capt. Kirk: But what would you have suggested? That one side arm its friends with an overpowering weapon? Mankind would never have lived to travel space if they had. No, the only solution is what happened back then: balance of power.
Dr. McCoy: And if the Klingons give their side even more?
Capt. Kirk: Then we arm our side with exactly that much more. A balance of power - the trickiest, most difficult, dirtiest game of them all, but the only one that preserves both sides!

Scott: [Kirk and McCoy are holding Spock when they transport up] What happened, Captain?
Capt. Kirk: Lead projectile. Primitive firearm.
Dr. M'Benga: [They put Spock on the bed] Vitalizer 'B.'
[Gives Spock an injection]
Dr. McCoy: Pressure backing.
[Nurse hands pressure backing to McCoy]
Dr. McCoy: Lucky his heart is where his liver should be or he'd be dead now.
Dr. M'Benga: Not good, sir.
Dr. McCoy: Coranalin!
Capt. Kirk: [Whistle from ship; Alarm goes off] Bones, can you save him?
Uhura: [Uhura talks through the speaker/intercom] All decks, Red Alert! Battle Stations! Battle Stations! Go to Red Alert!
Capt. Kirk: [Kirk walks to intercom] Kirk here.
Uhura: Uhura, sir. We have a Klingon vessel on our screen.
Capt. Kirk: On my way. Scotty?
[Kirk and Scott walk to door / door opens]
Capt. Kirk: Bones?
Dr. McCoy: I don't know yet, Jim.
[Kirk and Scott leave transporter room]

Capt. Kirk: Tomorrow... in the palm of her hands.
Dr. McCoy: Well, you got what you wanted.
Capt. Kirk: Not what I wanted, Bones. What had to be.

Dr. McCoy: [speaking through communicator] Spock, are you alive?
Mr. Spock: [on the bridge of the Enterprise] An illogical question, Doctor, since obviously you are hearing my voice.
Dr. McCoy: Well, I don't know why I was worried. You can't kill a computer.

Dr. McCoy: What's that?
Nona: A mahko root.
Dr. McCoy: A plant? It moves.
Nona: For those who know where to find it, how to use it, how to pick it.

Nona: Our blood has passed through the mahko root together. Our souls have been together. He is mine, now.
Tyree: She must sleep, also.
Dr. McCoy: "He is hers?"
Tyree: When a man and woman are joined in this manner, he can refuse her no wish.

Dr. McCoy: She's dead.

---

"Star Trek: I, Mudd (#2.8)" (1967)

McCoy: [talking about Norman] There's something wrong about a man who never smiles, and whose conversation never varies from the routine of the job, and who won't talk about his background.
Spock: I see.
McCoy: Spock... I mean, that it's, uh... it's odd for a non-Vulcan. Um... the ears make all the difference.

Captain Kirk: Well, opinions?
Chekov: I think we're in a lot of trouble.
Captain Kirk: That's a great help, Mr. Chekov. Bones?
McCoy: I think Chekov's right, we are in a lot of trouble.
Captain Kirk: Spock, and if you say we're in a lot of trouble...
Spock: We are.

McCoy: All right, it's worked so far, but we're not out yet.
Captain Kirk: [to Spock as he enters] Well?
Spock: Success, Captain. We've been pruning the leaves and branches of the tree, now it is time to get to work on the root.

McCoy: Besides, he has avoided two appointments that I've made for his physical exam without reason.
Spock: It's not at all surprising, Doctor. He's probably terrified of your beads and rattles.

McCoy: [mechanically] You offer us only well-being.
Scott: [mechanically] Food and drink and happiness mean nothing to us.
McCoy: We must be about our job.
Scott: Suffering in torment and pain, laboring without end.
McCoy: Dying and crying and lamenting over our burdens.
McCoy, Scott: [together] Only this way can we... be... happy.
[They curtsey sweetly]

McCoy: Well, you must be very unhappy, Mr. Spock.
Spock: That is a human emotion, Doctor, with which I am totally unfamiliar. How could I be "unhappy?"
McCoy: Well, we found a whole world of minds that work just like yours - logical, unemotional, completely pragmatic - and we poor, irrational humans whipped them in a fair fight. Now you'll find yourself back among us illogical humans again.
Spock: Which I find eminently satisfactory, Doctor, for NOWHERE am I so DESPERATELY needed as among a shipload of illogical humans.

---

"Star Trek: The City on the Edge of Forever (#1.28)" (1967)

Dr. McCoy: You deliberately stopped me, Jim. I could have saved her. Do you know what you just did?
Spock: He knows, Doctor. He knows.

Dr. McCoy: [after coming out of a faint] The most common question to ask would be "Where am I?" I don't think I'll ask it.
Edith Keeler: Why not?
Dr. McCoy: The only possible answer would conclusively prove that I'm either unconscious or demented. This looks like old Earth around 1920, '25.
Edith Keeler: Would you care to try for '30?
Dr. McCoy: I AM unconscious or demented.
Edith Keeler: I have a friend that talks about Earth the same way that you do. Would you like to meet him?
Dr. McCoy: I'm a surgeon, not a psychiatrist. I am Leonard McCoy, Senior Medical Officer aboard the U.S.S. Enterprise.
Edith Keeler: I don't mean to disbelieve you, but that's hardly a Navy uniform.
Dr. McCoy: That's quite all right. That's quite all right, dear, because I don't believe in you, either.

Dr. McCoy: You know, I've convinced myself that this is all in a cordrazine hallucination. But, I've decided you're not.

Dr. McCoy: Assassins! Murderers! Murderers! Assassins!
[spots a homeless man]
Dr. McCoy: You! What planet is this?
[the man runs away]
Dr. McCoy: [chasing after him, shouting crazily] No! Don't run! I won't kill you! It's THEY who do the killing! Don't run! I won't kill you!

Dr. McCoy: Ah! Killers! Assassins! I won't let you! I'll kill you first! I won't let you! You won't get me! Murderers! Killers!

Dr. McCoy: Killers! Killers! I won't let you get me! I'll kill you first! I won't let you get... Assassins! Murderers! Killers!

---

"Star Trek: The Empath (#3.12)" (1968)

Captain James T. Kirk: A race of mutes. Like the civilization on Gamma-Vertis IV.
Dr. McCoy: That's my observation, for whatever it's worth.

Dr. McCoy: Well, we can't keep referring to her as 'she' as if she weren't here.

Dr. McCoy: Well, I don't know about you, but I'm going to call her Gem.
Mr. Spock: Gem, doctor?
Dr. McCoy: Well, that's better than 'Hey, you'.

Dr. McCoy: Now how would one get the Bends down here?

Dr. McCoy: Men weren't intended to live this far underground, it's just not natural.
Captain James T. Kirk: And space travel is?
Mr. Spock: Some men spend the majority of their lives in mines beneath the surface.
Dr. McCoy: I'm a doctor, not a coal miner.

Mr. Spock: What is puzzling you, captain?
Captain James T. Kirk: I'm not puzzled, Mr. Spock, I'm awed.
Dr. McCoy: I'm with you, Jim. She awed me too.

---

"Star Trek: Spectre of the Gun (#3.6)" (1968)

Capt. Kirk: How did you manage to test it?
Spock: It has not been tested.
McCoy: It's not necessary, Captain. It's simple. Nothing can go wrong.
Capt. Kirk: Up to now, everything's gone wrong. I want it tested. And now.

Scott: Would a volunteer solve the problem?
McCoy: It would.
Scott: On one condition. That I'm wide awake and with you at 5 o'clock.
McCoy: Guaranteed.
Scott: It's to kill the pain.
[takes a shot of bourbon]
Spock: But this is painless.
Scott: Well, you should have warned me sooner. Fire away.

McCoy: Mr Spock, why don't you join us common humanoids in trying to find a way out of here and quit explaining why we can't get out of here.

Spock: My feelings are not subject for discussion, Doctor.
McCoy: Because there are no feelings to discuss!

[Scotty volunteers to be a test subject for Spock's improvised tranquillizer grenade]
Scotty: [picks up glass of bourbon] It's to kill the pain.
[empties glass]
Spock: But this is painless.
Scotty: [gulps] Well, you should have warned me sooner, Mr. Spock. Fire away!
[Spock activates the grenade, but Scotty shows no reaction to the escaping gas]
McCoy: It should have worked! Did you inhale the gas, Scotty?
Scotty: Aye! Deeply!
McCoy: Do you still feel all right?
Scotty: Never felt better!

Capt. Kirk: [McCoy wipes Kirk's split lip with bourbon] Ouch!
McCoy: What's the matter?
Capt. Kirk: What do you call that stuff, Fire?
McCoy: [Reading the label] Taos Lightning, straight bourbon. Try some. In small amounts, it was considered medicinal.
Capt. Kirk: You should label it For External Use Only.

---

"Star Trek: Who Mourns for Adonais? (#2.2)" (1967)

[last lines]
Dr. McCoy: I wish we hadn't had to do this.
Capt. Kirk: So do I. They gave us so much - the Greek civilization, much of our culture and philosophy came from the worship of those beings. In a way, they began the Golden Age. Would it have hurt us, I wonder, just to have gathered a few laurel leaves?

Dr. McCoy: [noting Scotty's interest in Carolyn] I'm not sure I like that, Jim.
Capt. Kirk: Why, Bones? Scotty's a good man.
Dr. McCoy: And he thinks he's the right man for her. But I'm not sure she thinks she thinks he's the right man. On the other hand, she's a woman.
[a beat]
Dr. McCoy: All woman.

Chekov: Sir, some creatures can generate and control energy with no harm to themselves: The electric eel on Earth, the giant dry worm of Antos 4, the fluffy...
Dr. McCoy: [interrupting] Not the whole encyclopedia, Chekov.
Chekov: The captain requires complete information.
Dr. McCoy: Spock's contaminating this boy, Jim.
Capt. Kirk: Are you suggesting that he, Apollo, taps a flow of energy and channels it through his body?
Chekov: That would seem most likely, sir.
Capt. Kirk: Mr. Chekov, I think you've earned your pay for the week.

Dr. McCoy: Got any more good ideas, Jim?
Capt. Kirk: Yes, I have. One more and it depends on the lieutenant's loyalty. If she fails us, we better get used to herding goats.

Apollo: I want from you that which is rightfully mine - your loyalty, your tribute, and your worship.
Dr. McCoy: May I ask what you offer in exchange for this worship?
Apollo: Life in paradise.

Capt. Kirk: Apollo's no god, but he could've been taken for one, though, once. Say, 5,000 years ago, a highly sophisticated group of space travelers landed on Earth around the Mediterranean.
Dr. McCoy: Yes. To the simple shepherds and tribesmen of early Greece, creatures like that WOULD have been gods.
Capt. Kirk: Especially if they had the power to alter their form at will and command great energy. In fact, they couldn't have been taken for anything else.

---

"Star Trek: The Galileo Seven (#1.16)" (1967)

Dr. McCoy: What do those supersensitive ears make of that, Mr. Spock?
Spock: Wood... rubbing on some kind of leather.

Dr. McCoy: Mr. Spock, remind me to tell you that I'm sick and tired of your logic.
Spock: That is a most illogical attitude.

Scott: Mr. Spock, you said a while ago that there were always alternatives.
Spock: Did I? I may have been mistaken.
Dr. McCoy: Well at least I lived long enough to hear that.

Spock: It is more rational to sacrifice one life than six, Doctor.
Dr. McCoy: I'm not talking about rationality.
Spock: You might be wise to start.

Dr. McCoy: Now, look, we may all die here. At least let us die like men, not machines.

Dr. McCoy: Well, Mr. Spock, they didn't stay frightened very long, did they?
Spock: Most illogical reaction. We demonstrated out superior weapons. They should have fled.
Dr. McCoy: You mean they should have respected us?
Spock: Of course.
Dr. McCoy: Mr. Spock, respect is a rational process. Did it ever occur to you they might react emotionally, with anger?
Spock: Doctor, I'm not responsible for their unpredictability.

---

"Star Trek: The Corbomite Maneuver (#1.10)" (1966)

Capt. Kirk: When I get my hands on the headquarters genius that assigned me a female yeoman...
Dr. McCoy: What's the matter, Jim, don't you trust yourself?
Capt. Kirk: [Kirk suppresses a smile] I've already got a female to worry about. Her name's the Enterprise.

Dr. McCoy: [Rand enters the bridge carrying a tray] I thought the power was off in the galley?
Yeoman Rand: I used a hand phaser, and zap! Hot coffee.

Dr. McCoy: Balok's message - it was heard all over the ship.
Capt. Kirk: [on ship-wide speakers] Captain to crew: Those of you who have served for long on this vessel have encountered alien life-forms. You know the greatest danger facing us is... ourselves, and irrational fear of the unknown. There's no such thing as 'the unknown,' only things temporarily hidden, temporarily not understood.

Capt. Kirk: Doc. Sorry.
Dr. McCoy: Oh, you had other things on your mind. My fault. I don't know how y'ever kept form punching me in the face.

Mr. Spock: A very interesting game, this poker.
Capt. Kirk: It does have advantages over chess.
Dr. McCoy: Love to teach it to ya.

---

"Star Trek: Operation - Annihilate! (#1.29)" (1967)

Dr. McCoy: Unusual eye arrangement. I might've known he'd turn up something like that.
Capt. Kirk: What's that, doctor?
Dr. McCoy: I said, please don't tell Spock I said he was the best first officer in the fleet.
Spock: Why thank you, Dr. McCoy.
Capt. Kirk: You've been so concerned about his Vulcan eyes, Doctor, you forgot about his Vulcan ears.

Capt. Kirk: Mr. Spock, regaining eyesight would be an emotional experience for most. You, I presume felt nothing?
Spock: Quite the contrary, Captain, I had a very strong reaction. My first sight was the face of Dr. McCoy bending over me.
Dr. McCoy: Hm, 'tis a pitty brief blindness did not increase your appreciation for beauty, Mr. Spock.

Dr. McCoy: [examining four stunned Denevans] There's something wrong, Jim. Their nervous systems - unconscious like this there should be just routine autonomic activity, but I'm getting a very high reading as though, even in their unconscious state, they're being violently stimulated.

Dr. McCoy: [holding a beaker of tentacle tissue] Evidently, when the creature attacks it, uh, leaves a stinger much like a bee or a wasp, leaving one of these in the victim's body, and it takes over the victim very rapidly, and the entwining is far, far too involved for conventional surgery to remove.

[Spock, infected, beams down to the planet to collect a specimen]
Dr. McCoy: Jim, that man is sick - and don't give me any damnable logic about him being the only man for the job.
Capt. Kirk: I don't have to, Bones. We both know he is.

---

"Star Trek: The Pirates of Orion (#2.1)" (1974)

Dr. McCoy: Jim, choriocytosis is a strange disease. In races with iron-based blood, it's practically nothing, but in others...
Capt. Kirk: [interrupting] Get to the point, Bones.
Dr. McCoy: Spock has contracted the disease. It's fatal to Vulcans.

Capt. Kirk: It will hurt seeing him like that.
Dr. McCoy: I know. As much as it might seem at times that I can't stand that pointy-eared encyclopaedia, I don't wanna see that happen to him.

Dr. McCoy: [about to give an injection] This won't hurt a bit, Spock.
Mr. Spock: An unnecessary assurance, doctor, in addition to being untrue.
Dr. McCoy: That's the last time I waste my bedside manner on a Vulcan.
[gives him the injection]
Mr. Spock: Such restraint would be welcome.

Dr. McCoy: Blasted Vulcan! Why couldn't you have red blood like any normal human?

Capt. Kirk: Am I interrupting something?
Mr. Spock: Nothing but Dr. McCoy's gloating.
Dr. McCoy: Spock, that green blood of yours may have saved you before, but this time it almost did you in. You can't deny it.
Mr. Spock: I still prefer my physiological structure to yours.
Capt. Kirk: Yes, gentlemen, things are back to normal.

---

"Star Trek: Dagger of the Mind (#1.9)" (1966)

Mr. Spock: Interesting. You Earth people glorify organized violence for 40 centuries, but you imprison those who employ it privately.
Dr. McCoy: And, of course, your people found an answer?
Mr. Spock: We disposed of emotion, Doctor. Where there is no emotion, there is no motive for violence.

Captain James T. Kirk: Bones, are you aware that in the last 20 years, Dr. Adams has done more to revolutionise, to humanise prisons and the treatment of prisoners than all the rest of humanity have done in 40 centuries? I've been to those penal colonies since they begun following his methods, and they're not cages any more.
Dr. McCoy: Jim...
Captain James T. Kirk: They're clean, decent hospitals for sick minds.

Dr. McCoy: It's hard to believe that a man could die of loneliness.
Captain James T. Kirk: Not when you've sat in that room.

Dr. McCoy: I'm required to enter any reasonable doubts into my medical log; that requires you to answer in YOUR log. Sorry, Jim.

Dr. McCoy: He's dead, Captain.

---

"Star Trek: Obsession (#2.13)" (1967)

Dr. McCoy: To be so obsessed...
Capt. Kirk: [angrily] Obsessed?
Dr. McCoy: That you could destroy yourself, uh... your career... a young boy who reminds you of yourself eleven years ago!

Capt. Kirk: Report.
Scott: When it entered impulse engine number two's vent, it attacked two crewmen then got into the ventilating system, and now we have air for only two hours.
Capt. Kirk: Bones?
Dr. McCoy: One man has a chance for survival; the other is dead. You can add that little price tag to your monster hunt.
Capt. Kirk: That's enough, Bones.
Dr. McCoy: It's NOT enough! You didn't care what happened as long as you could hang your trophy on the wall. Well, it's not on it, Captain, it's in it!
Mr. Spock: Gentlemen, may I suggest we no longer belabor the question of whether or not we should have gone after the creature. The matter has been rendered academic. The creature is now after us.

Scott: Captain, thank heaven.
Mr. Spock: Mr. Scott, there was no deity involved. It was my cross-circuiting to B that recovered them.
Dr. McCoy: Well, then, thank pitchforks and pointed ears! As long as it worked, Jim.

Spock: I need your advice.
McCoy: Then I need a drink.

Dr. McCoy: Crazy way to travel, spreading a man's molecules all over the universe.

---

"Star Trek: The Paradise Syndrome (#3.3)" (1968)

Dr. McCoy: Why, they look like... I'd swear they're American Indians.
Mr. Spock: They are, doctor. A mixture of Navajo, Mohican and Delaware, I believe. All among the more advanced and peaceful tribes.
Captain James T. Kirk: It's like discovering Atlantis. Or Shangri-la.

Dr. McCoy: Typical human reaction to an idyllic natural setting. Back in the 20th Century we referred to it as the 'Tahiti Syndrome'. It's particularly common to overpressured leader types like Starship captains.

Mr. Spock: Lock all phasers on that mark. Maximum intensity, narrow beam. I want to split that fisher wide open.
Dr. McCoy: You sound like you're cutting a diamond.
Mr. Spock: Very astute, doctor.

Mr. Spock: I believe those symbols are the key.
Dr. McCoy: Well you won't read them by killing yourself. You've hardly eaten or slept for weeks. Now if you don't let up, you're going to collapse.
Mr. Spock: I am not hungry, doctor. And under stress, we Vulcans can do without sleep for weeks.
Dr. McCoy: [scanning Spock while he speaks] Well, your Vulcan metabolism is so low it can hardly be measured and for the pressure... that green ice-water you call blood...
Mr. Spock: My physical condition is not important, doctor. That obelisk is.

Lt. Cmdr. Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott: [Spock is studying the obelisk while on speaker with Scotty] And don't ask for any more Warp 9 speeds, Mr. Spock. Our star drive is completely burned out. The only thing we have left is impulse power.
Mr. Spock: Estimated repair time.
Lt. Cmdr. Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott: Hangin' here in space? Forever! The only thing that'll fix these poor darlings is the nearest repair base!
Mr. Spock: I've already surmised that. Thank you, Mr. Scott.
[deactivates comm panel]
Mr. Spock: Well, Spock, you took your calculated risk and you calculated Vulcan way, and you lost! You lost for us, you lost for that planet, and you lost for Jim.
Mr. Spock: [still studying his screen] I accept the responsibility, Doctor.
Dr. McCoy: And my responsibility is the health of this crew. You've been driving yourself too hard, and now I want you to get some rest.
Mr. Spock: [activates comm panel] Mr. Chekov, resume heading, 883 mark 41
[deactivates comm panel]
Dr. McCoy: Back to that planet without warp speed? It'll take MONTHS, Spock!
Mr. Spock: Exactly 59.223 days, Doctor. And that asteroid will be four hours behind us... all the way.
Dr. McCoy: Well, then what's the use? We might not be able to save the Captain, even if he still is alive! We not be able to save ANYTHING, including this ship!
[Spock is motionless, studying]
Dr. McCoy: You haven't heard a word I've said. All you've been doing is staring at that blasted obelisk.
Mr. Spock: Another calculated... Vulcan risk, Doctor.
[McCoy exits]

---

"Star Trek: Space Seed (#1.22)" (1967)

Dr. McCoy: A pity you wasted your life on command, Jim. You'd have made a fair psychologist.
Capt. Kirk: [in mock arrogance] "Fair?"

Dr. McCoy: [lying in sickbay, Khan surprises McCoy and holds a knife to his throat, then pauses] Well, either choke me or cut my throat. Make up your mind.
Khan Noonien Singh: English... I thought I dreamed hearing it. Where am I?
Dr. McCoy: You're in...
[Khan tightens his grip. McCoy continues in a lower voice]
Dr. McCoy: You're in bed, holding a knife at your doctor's throat.
Khan Noonien Singh: Answer my question.
Dr. McCoy: It would be most effective if you would cut the carotid artery, just under the left ear.

Capt. Kirk: [about to beam aboard the Botany Bay] You ready, Bones?
Dr. McCoy: No. I signed aboard this ship to practice medicine, not to have my atoms scattered back and forth across space by this gadget.
Capt. Kirk: You're an old-fashioned boy, McCoy.

Capt. Kirk: [looking at a library picture of Kahn on viewscreen] Name: Khan Noonien Singh.
Mr. Spock: From 1992 through 1996, absolute ruler of more than a quarter of your world, from Asia through the Middle East.
Dr. McCoy: The last of the tyrants to be overthrown.
Scott: I must confess, gentlemen. I've always held a sneaking admiration for this one.
Capt. Kirk: He was the best of the tyrants and the most dangerous. They were supermen in a sense. Stronger, braver, certainly more ambitious, more daring.
Mr. Spock: Gentlemen, this romanticism about a ruthless dictator is...
Capt. Kirk: Mr. Spock, we humans have a streak of barbarism in us. Appalling, but there, nevertheless.
Scott: There were no massacres under is rule.
Mr. Spock: And as little freedom.
Dr. McCoy: No wars until he was attacked.
Mr. Spock: Gentlemen...
[All but Spock laugh]
Capt. Kirk: Mr. Spock, you misunderstand us. We can be against him and admire him all at the same time.
Mr. Spock: Illogical.
Capt. Kirk: Totally.

Capt. Kirk: Care to join the landing party, Doctor?
Dr. McCoy: Well, if you're actually giving me a choice...
Capt. Kirk: I'm not.

---

"Star Trek: The Deadly Years (#2.12)" (1967)

Spock: Doctor, ship's temperature is increasingly uncomfortable for me. I've adjusted the environment in my quarters to 125 degrees, which is at least tolerable. However, I...
McCoy: Well, I see I'm not gonna be making any house calls on YOU!
Spock: I wondered if perhaps there was something which could lower my sensitivity to cold.
McCoy: I'm not a magician, Spock, just an old country doctor.
Spock: Yes. As I always suspected.

McCoy: I don't know what's causing it. Virus, bacteria or evil spirits, but I'm trying to find out.

McCoy: [to Spock] Oh, you're perfectly healthy.
Spock: I must differ with you, Doctor. I'm having difficulty concentrating, which is most disturbing, my eye sight appears to be failing, and the normal temperature of the ship seems to me to be increasingly colder.
McCoy: I did not say you weren't affected, Mr. Spock. You are perfectly healthy. That is, for any normal Vulcan on the high side of 100.

McCoy: Anytime you're ready, Mr. Spock.
Spock: I am quite ready now, Doctor.
McCoy: Because of your Vulcan physique, I've prepared an extremely potent shot for you. However, I thought you'd might like to know that I've removed all the breakables from sickbay.
Spock: That is very considerate of you, Doctor.

McCoy: [checking out the Captain's twinge] Jim, I think we'd better run a complete physical on you.
Captain James T. Kirk: Why? Just muscular strain, hmm?
McCoy: No, Jim. It's advanced arthritis. It's spreading.

---

"Star Trek: The Apple (#2.5)" (1967)

Dr. McCoy: Well, I don't agree with you at all, Mr. Spock.
Mr. Spock: That's not unusual, Doctor.

Akuta: "Love."
[laughs]
Akuta: Strange words: "Children." "Love." What is "love?"
Yeoman Martha Landon: Love is...
[Chekov puts his arm around Martha and smiles broadly]
Yeoman Martha Landon: when two people are...
Akuta: Ahh... Yes. The holding. The touching. Vaal has forbidden this.
Dr. McCoy: Well, there goes paradise.

Dr. McCoy: What's going on, Jim.
Capt. Kirk: Mess call.
Mr. Spock: In my view, a splendid example of reciprocity.
Dr. McCoy: It would take a computerized Vulcan mind such as yours to make that kind of a statement.
Mr. Spock: Doctor, you insist on applying human standards to nonhuman cultures. I remind you that humans are only a tiny minority in this galaxy.

Scott: [on bridge of the Enterprise] Captain, we pulled away a little, we gained... maybe an hour... but we blew almost every system in the ship doing it. There's nothing left to try again. I guess you'll have to fire me, sir.
Capt. Kirk: [on planet surface] You're fired.
[closes communicator absentmindedly]
Capt. Kirk: 400 people...
McCoy: Jim...
Capt. Kirk: They'll die because I couldn't see a warning sign. I had to follow orders, always orders.

Chekov: [appraising the planet] It makes me homesick. Just like Russia.
Dr. McCoy: More like the Garden of Eden, Ensign.
Chekov: Of course, Doctor. The Garden of Eden was just outside Moscow. A very nice place. Must've made Adam and Eve very sad to leave.

---

"Star Trek: The Omega Glory (#2.23)" (1968)

Dr. McCoy: Spock, I've found that evil usually triumphs... unless good is very, very careful.

[Kirk and Spock subdue McCoy's guard and enter his room]
Dr. McCoy: Oh. Good morning, Jim.
Captain James T. Kirk: Good morning?
Mr. Spock: [picks up a tool to modify a computer] We can contact the ship in a few moments, Captain, if I can cross-circuit this unit...
Captain James T. Kirk: Good.
Captain James T. Kirk: [to McCoy] Did you find out anything?
Dr. McCoy: Yes. I'm convinced that once there was a frightening biological war that existed here. The virus still exists. Then over the years, nature built up these natural immunizing agents in the food, the water, and the soil.
Mr. Spock: The war created an imbalance, and nature counter-balanced.
Captain James T. Kirk: There is a disease here, something that affected the Exeter landing party and us.
Dr. McCoy: That's right. These immunizing agents take time. And that's the real tragedy: Had the Exeter landing party stayed here just a few hours longer, they never would've died.
Captain James T. Kirk: Then we can leave anytime... we want to. Tracy's of the opinion that these immunizing agents can become a fountain of youth. There are people here over a thousand years old, Bones.
Dr. McCoy: Survival of the fittest, because their ancestors who survived had to have a superior resistance. Then they built up these powerful protective antibodies in the blood during the wars. Now, if you want to destroy a whole civilization, or a whole world, perhaps your descendants might develop a longer life, but I hardly think it's worth it.
Captain James T. Kirk: Then anything you develop here as a result of all this is useless.
Dr. McCoy: Who knows? It might eventually cure the common cold. But lengthen lives? Poppycock! I could do more for you if you just eat right and exercise regularly!

Dr. McCoy: Jim, the analysis of this so far is potassium 35%, carbon 18%, phosphorous 1.0, calcium 1.5. Jim, the crew didn't leave. They're still here.
Captain James T. Kirk: What do you mean?
Dr. McCoy: These white crystals is what's left of the human body when you take the water away, which makes up 96% of our bodies. Without water, we're all just three or four pounds of chemicals.

Dr. McCoy: Leave medicine to medical men, Captain! You found no fountain of youth here!

Dr. McCoy: Spock, we gotta do something.
Mr. Spock: I'm open to suggestions, Doctor.
Dr. McCoy: [notices Spock concentrating on Sirah] What're you doing?
Mr. Spock: I'm making a suggestion.

---

"Star Trek: Requiem for Methuselah (#3.19)" (1969)

Dr. McCoy: Instant tissue regeneration, coupled with some perfect form of biological renewal - you learned that you were immortal!
Flint: And to conceal it. To live some portion of a life. To pretend to age and then move on before my nature was suspected.

Dr. McCoy: You have been such men, you've known and created such beauty, you've watched your race evolve from cruelty and barbarism throughout your enormous life - and, yet, now you would do this to us?
Flint: The flowers of my past... but I hold the nettles of the present. I am Flint, now, with my needs.
Captain James T. Kirk: What *needs*?
Flint: Tonight, I have seen something wondrous happen. Something I have worked for, laboured for - nothing must endanger it. At last, Rayna's emotions have stirred to life. Now they will turn to me in this solitude which I preserve.

Rayna Kapec: Flint is my teacher. You are the only men I've ever seen.
Dr. McCoy: The misfortune of men everywhere. And our privilege.

McCoy: Saurian brandy, one hundred years old. Jim?
Capt. Kirk: Please.
McCoy: Mr Spock, I know you won't have one. Heaven forbid those mathematically perfect brainwaves be corrupted by this all too human vice.
Spock: Thank you, doctor, I will have a brandy.
[Kirk and McCoy look at each other in amazement]
McCoy: [to Kirk] Do you think the two of us can handle a drunk Vulcan? Once alcohol hits that green blood...

McCoy: [to Spock] You see, I feel sorrier for you than I do for him
[referring to Kirk]
McCoy: , because you'll never know the things that love can drive a man to. The ecstasies, the miseries, the broken rules, the desperate chances, the glorious failures and the glorious victories. All of these things you'll never know, simply because the word "love" isn't written into your book. Good night, Spock.

---

"Star Trek: For the World Is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky (#3.8)" (1968)

Nurse Christine Chapel: I am a nurse first, Dr. McCoy, and a member of the crew of the Enterprise second.
Dr. McCoy: You're excused! You may return to your quarters.
Nurse Christine Chapel: No, I'm sorry, Doctor! I have called the Captain, and I'll wait until he comes!
Captain James T. Kirk: [enters] What's the emergency?
Dr. McCoy: I said you're excused, Nurse!
[quietly]
Dr. McCoy: Please, Christine. I promise you I'll give the Captain a full report.
[Nurse Chapel exits]
Captain James T. Kirk: That was quite a scene.
Dr. McCoy: I've just completed the standard physical examinations for the entire crew.
Captain James T. Kirk: Excellent. What's the emergency?
Dr. McCoy: The crew is fit. I find nothing unusual, with one exception.
Captain James T. Kirk: Serious?
Dr. McCoy: Terminal.
Captain James T. Kirk: What is it?
Dr. McCoy: Xenopolycythemia. It has no cure.
Captain James T. Kirk: Who?
Dr. McCoy: He has one year to live at the most.
Captain James T. Kirk: Who is it?
Dr. McCoy: The ship's Chief Medical Officer.
Captain James T. Kirk: You?
Dr. McCoy: I'll be most effective on the job in the time if you'll keep this to yourself.

Dr. McCoy: [an old man enters the room] Gentlemen, I believe we have a visitor.
Old Man: [bows, then passes out bits of herbs] For strength. Many of us have felt the power of our Oracle. This has been of benefit.
Dr. McCoy: Tastes like an ancient herb derivative.
Old Man: You are not of Yonada.
Captain James T. Kirk: No, we're from outside your world.
Old Man: Where... is outside?
Captain James T. Kirk: Up there. Outside. Up there, everywhere.
Old Man: So they say, also.
[winces in pain]
Old Man: Many years ago, I climbed the mountains, even though it is forbidden.
[winces again]
Captain James T. Kirk: Why is it forbidden?
Old Man: I am not sure.
[another wince. his pain increases]
Old Man: But things are not as they teach us, for the world is hollow and I have touched the sky!
[cries out in pain, collapses]

Captain James T. Kirk: [to McCoy] You seem to be the special favorite.
Mr. Spock: Indeed, doctor. The young lady did show a marked preference for your company.
Dr. McCoy: Well now, nobody can blame her for that, can he?
Captain James T. Kirk: Personally I find the lady's taste questionable, but she obviously preferes you and you obviously don't seem to mind.

Captain James T. Kirk: [Kirk and Spock enter the Transporter Room and see McCoy ready to go] Dr. McCoy, Mr. Spock and I will handle this.
Dr. McCoy: Without me, Jim? You'd never find you way back.

Dr. McCoy: There's something I need to tell you.
Natira: There is nothing you need to say.
Dr. McCoy: But there is.
Natira: Then tell me, if the telling is such a need.
Dr. McCoy: I have an illness for which there is no cure. I have one year to live.
Natira: Until I saw you, there was nothing in my heart. It sustained my life, but nothing more. Now, it sings. I could be happy to have that feeling for a day, a week, a month... a year. Whatever the Creators hold in store for us.
[they kiss]

---

"Star Trek: The Eye of the Beholder (#1.15)" (1974)

Captain James T. Kirk: A captain of a ship, no matter his rank, must follow the book.
Mr. Spock: A capability I'm afraid out of the reach of most humans.
Doctor McCoy: You Vulcans are the most impossible, unimaginative...
Captain James T. Kirk: Bones, that's not helping the situation.

Captain James T. Kirk: Are you hurt?
Doctor McCoy: No, just surprised. It isn't every day a dinosaur falls on ya.

Doctor McCoy: My shoes are full of sand.
Mr. Spock: Doctor, your lack of scientific interest is amazing.

Captain James T. Kirk: A forcefield. It seems harmless enough.
Doctor McCoy: So do the bars of a jail unless you're on the inside.
Captain James T. Kirk: And we are definitely on the inside.

---

"Star Trek: Shore Leave (#1.15)" (1966)

Captain James T. Kirk: You follow the rabbit. I'll backtrack the girl. I'll meet you around the other side of the hill.
Dr. McCoy: Good. I got a personal grudge against that rabbit, Jim.

Tonia Barrows: [about to change clothes in the bushes] Don't peek.
Dr. McCoy: My dear girl. I am a doctor. When I peek, it's in the line of duty.

Dr. McCoy: Oh, them, well... I, uh... I was thinking about a little cabaret I know on Rigel II, and, uh... there were these two girls in the chorus line. And, well, here they are! Well, after all, I am on shore leave.
Tonia Barrows: And so am I.
Dr. McCoy: Oh, yes, so you are.

Dr. McCoy: [communicating up to the ship] Captain, are you beaming down?
Captain James T. Kirk: I hadn't planned to, Bones. Why?
Dr. McCoy: Well, either our scouting probes and detectors are malfunctioning, and all us scouts careless and beauty-intoxicated, or I must report myself unfit for duty.
Captain James T. Kirk: Explain.
Dr. McCoy: On this supposedly uninhabited planet I just saw a large rabbit pull a gold watch from his vest and claim that he was late.
Captain James T. Kirk: That's pretty good, Bones. All right, I got one for you: The rabbit was followed by a little blonde girl, right?
Dr. McCoy: As a matter of fact, yes, and they disappeared through a hole in a hedge.
Captain James T. Kirk: All right, Doctor, I'll take your report under consideration.

---

"Star Trek: All Our Yesterdays (#3.23)" (1969)

Dr. McCoy: You listen to me, you pointed-eared Vulcan.
Spock: [grabbing McCoy] I don't like that. I don't think I ever did and now I'm sure!

Mr. Spock: We're in a wilderness of arctic characteristics!
Dr. McCoy: He means it's cold!

Mr. Spock: In this severe cold we cannot survive much longer.
Dr. McCoy: Leave me here, Spock!
Mr. Spock: We go together or not at all.
Dr. McCoy: Don't be a fool! My hands and face are frostbitten and can't feel my feet. Alone you have a chance. Now do what I say. Go try to find Jim.
Mr. Spock: We go together.
Dr. McCoy: You stubborn, thick headed Vulcan!

Dr. McCoy: Zarabeth, you're a beautiful cook. Have you ever been told that?
Zarabeth: Not recently.
Dr. McCoy: Oh, well, you'll find that Spock is quite delinquent in those matters.
Zarabeth: I hadn't noticed that.

---

"Star Trek: The Conscience of the King (#1.13)" (1966)

Dr. McCoy: Did it ever occur to you that he simply might like the girl?
Mr. Spock: It occurred. I dismissed it.
Dr. McCoy: You would.

Dr. McCoy: In the long history of medicine no doctor has ever caught the first few minutes of a play.

Dr. McCoy: Would you care for a drink, Mr. Spock?
Mr. Spock: My father's race was spared the dubious benefits of alcohol.
Dr. McCoy: Oh. Now I know why they were conquered.

Mr. Spock: You've got to pull him through.
Dr. McCoy: I'm not sure I can.
Mr. Spock: If he dies, the only one who'll able to identify Kodos is the captain, and he'll be the next target.

---

"Star Trek New Voyages: Phase II: Come What May (#1.0)" (2004)

Dr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Beware Romulans bearing gifts.

Dr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Sure you don't know what irritating is?
Mr. Spock: The fact that my father married a human female...
Captain James T. Kirk: It's terrible having bad blood like that...
Dr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: He may learn to enjoy it. Someday...

Mr. Spock: Doctor, your dismal record with emotional women has already been established.
Dr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Why you, green-blooded, in-human, son of a...

Admiral Leslie: [on viewscreen] Captain?
Captain James T. Kirk: Admiral, I was just about to send you my report.
Dr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Oh, we're all ears!
Admiral Leslie: You will proceed to the following coordinates and redezvous with two robot cargo ships carrying a shipment of grain to Sherman's planet.

---

"Star Trek: The Enterprise Incident (#3.2)" (1968)

Uhura: Doctor, you must beam aboard the Romulan flagship immediately, there's been an injury.
Dr. McCoy: I don't make housecalls.
Uhura: Doctor, it's Captain Kirk!

Captain James T. Kirk: My neck feels like it's been twisted off.
Dr. McCoy: That's the Vulcan death-grip for you.

Dr. McCoy: You took a big chance that they didn't start an autopsy!

[first lines]
Dr. McCoy: [in voice-over, as Kirk enters the Bridge] Enterprise Medical Log, Stardate 5027.3, Dr. Leonard McCoy recording. I'm concerned about Captain Kirk; he shows indications of increasing tensions and emotional stress...
Chekov: I have completed the assignment, Captain: a theoretical incursion...
Captain James T. Kirk: Yes, Mr. Chekov, I can read. And as usual, your theoretical evaluations do not tally with mine. Return to your duty, and I'll let you know when your work is satisfactory. Mr. Spock, full sensor scan on the region, please.
Spock: I did give a full report on it just...
Captain James T. Kirk: Yes, Mr. Spock, that was the past. I'm concerned with the present.
[agitated, to the Bridge crew]
Captain James T. Kirk: Or is it becoming too much for this crew to present me with current information?
Spock: No, sir. Compliance presence no problem.
Captain James T. Kirk: Then, Mr. Spock, comply.
Spock: Sensor scan to one-half parsec... Negative, Captain.
Captain James T. Kirk: Very well.
Dr. McCoy: [continuing log entry] I can find no reason for the Captain's behavior, except possibly that we've been on patrol too long without relief and diversion. He has resisted all of my attempts to run a psychological profile on him.
Sulu: Maintaining course and speed, sir.
Captain James T. Kirk: Change course. Come about to 185, mark 3.
Sulu: But sir, that'll lead us right into the Romulan Neutral Zone.
Captain James T. Kirk: Yes, very perceptive, Mr. Sulu. I know where the course change takes us. Execute.
Sulu: [reluctantly] Aye, sir.
[the Enterprise heads for Romulan space]

---

"Star Trek: Plato's Stepchildren (#3.10)" (1968)

Captain James T. Kirk: [slowly crawling on his belly towards Parmen] Being your slave... what should I do but tend upon the hours and times of your desire? I have no precious time at all to spend nor service to do till you...
Dr. McCoy: [shouting] Stop it! Don't do this to him, Parmen.

Dr. McCoy: [the Platonians are making Spock have a fit of laughter] He's a Vulcan! You can't force emotion out of him!
Philana: Oh, you must be joking, doctor.
Dr. McCoy: It could destroy him.
Parmen: We can't let him die laughing, can we?
[gestures towards Spock, who promply starts crying]

Dr. McCoy: Jim, my concoction actually worked; the fever is broken. And what recuperative powers! The infection has begun to drain already!
Spock: Doctor McCoy, you may yet cure the common cold.

Spock: [trying to control his rage] Captain...
Captain James T. Kirk: Yes, Spock.
Spock: Do you still feel anger toward Parmen?
Captain James T. Kirk: Great anger.
Spock: And you, Doctor McCoy?
Dr. McCoy: Yes, Spock. And hatred.
Spock: Then you must release it, gentlemen, as I must master mine. I might have seriously injured you, Captain, even killed you. They have evoked such great... hatred in me. I cannot allow it to go further.
[gets up, walks to a table]
Spock: I must... master it. I must... control...
[crushes an object with his bare hand]

---

"Star Trek: Elaan of Troyius (#3.13)" (1968)

Dr. McCoy: Are you out of your Vulcan mind?

Dr. McCoy: Well, the fat will be in the fire when he learns the bride just tried to murder the groom's ambassador.

Dr. McCoy: Now listen, Jim. Petri told Christine that the Elasian women have a sort of a biochemical substance in their tears that acts like a super love potion. And according to him, it doesn't wear off.

McCoy: Are you out of your Vulcan mind?

---

"Star Trek: The Devil in the Dark (#1.25)" (1967)

[McCoy has been ordered to help a silicon-based life form]
McCoy: You can't be serious. That thing is virtually made out of stone!
Captain James T. Kirk: Help it. Treat it.
McCoy: I'm a doctor, not a bricklayer.
Captain James T. Kirk: You're a healer. There's a patient. That's an order.

Mr. Spock: The Horta is badly wounded. It may die.
Dr. McCoy: It won't die. By golly, Jim, I'm beginning to think I can cure a rainy day.
Captain James T. Kirk: Can you help it?
Dr. McCoy: Helped it? I cured it.
Captain James T. Kirk: How?
Dr. McCoy: Well, I had the ship beam down 100 pounds of that thermal concrete. You know, the kind we use to build emergency shelters out of 'em. It's mostly silicone. So I just troweled it into the wound, and it'll act like a bandage until it heals. Take a look. It's as good as new.
Captain James T. Kirk: Well, Mr. Spock, I'm gonna have to ask you to get in touch with the Horta again. Tell her our proposition: She and her children can do all the tunneling they want, our people will remove the minerals, and each side will leave the other alone. You think she'll go for it?
Mr. Spock: It seems logical, Captain. The Horta has a very logical mind - and after close association with humans, I find that curiously refreshing.

Dr. McCoy: Schmitter didn't burn to death, Jim, not in the usual sense anyway.
Captain James T. Kirk: Explain that.
Dr. McCoy: Well, there are only fragments of bone and teeth left, but the plant's physician agrees with me - a chemical corrosion, almost as if he'd been thrown into a vat of extremely corrosive acid.
Captain James T. Kirk: Strong enough to eat machinery?
Dr. McCoy: Strong enough to eat anything else the way we can think of.

Mr. Spock: Curious. What Chief Vanderberg said about the horta is exactly what the mother horta said to me. She found humanoid appearance revolting... but she thought she could get used to it.
Dr. McCoy: Oh, she did, did she? Now, tell me, did she happen to make any comment about those ears?
Mr. Spock: Not specifically, but I did get the distinct impression she found them the most attractive human characteristic of all. I didn't have the heart to tell her that only I have...
Captain James T. Kirk: [interrupts Spock] She really liked those ears?
Mr. Spock: Captain, the horta is a remarkably intelligent and sensitive creature... with impeccable taste.
Captain James T. Kirk: Because she approved of you?
Mr. Spock: Really, Captain, my modesty...
Captain James T. Kirk: [interrupts Spock] ... does not bear close examination, Mr. Spock. I suspect you're becoming more and more human all the time.
Mr. Spock: [surprised... a little] You... Captain, I see no reason to stand here and be insulted.
Captain James T. Kirk: [exchanges laughing glances with McCoy as Spock walks away] Ahead Warp Factor Two.

---

"Star Trek: A Piece of the Action (#2.17)" (1968)

Capt. Kirk: All right, Bones, in the language of the planet, "What's your beef?"
Dr. McCoy: Well, I don't know how serious this is, Jim, and I don't know quite how to tell you...
Capt. Kirk: Well, go ahead.
Dr. McCoy: But in all the confusion, I...
Capt. Kirk: Yes. Tell me.
Dr. McCoy: I think I left it in Bela's office.
Capt. Kirk: You left it?
Dr. McCoy: Somewhere, I'm-I'm not certain.
Capt. Kirk: Your not certain of what?
Dr. McCoy: I left my communicator.
Capt. Kirk: In Bela's office?
Spock: Captain, if the Iotians, who are very bright an imitative people, should take that communicator apart...
Capt. Kirk: They will, they will. And they'll find out how the transtator works.
Spock: The transtator is the basis for every important piece of equipment that we have - the transporter, the...
Capt. Kirk: [overlapping] Everything, everything.
Dr. McCoy: You really think it's that serious?
Capt. Kirk: Serious? Serious, Bones? It upsets the whole percentage.
Dr. McCoy: How do you mean?
Capt. Kirk: Well, in a few years, the Iotians may demand a piece of OUR action.

Spock: Logic and practical information do not seem to apply here.
Dr. McCoy: You admit that?
Spock: To deny the facts would be illogical, Doctor.

Dr. McCoy: Well, those firearms are not necessary.
Kalo: You tryin' to make trouble?
Dr. McCoy: Who, me?
Kalo: Don't give me those baby blue eyes.
Dr. McCoy: What?
Kalo: I don't go for that innocent routine.

Dr. McCoy: We're trying to help you, Oxmyx.
Bella Oxmyx: Nobody helps nobody but himself.
Spock: Sir, you are employing a double negative.

---

"Star Trek: Catspaw (#2.7)" (1967)

Captain James T. Kirk: [turning to McCoy while chained to a dungeon wall] Bones...
Captain James T. Kirk: [stops short, seeing a chained human skeleton, literally "bones," hanging further down along the wall, but quickly refocuses on McCoy] Doc?
Dr. McCoy: You were saying something about "trick-or-treat?"
Captain James T. Kirk: Dungeons, curses, skeletons and iron maidens, they're all Earth manifestations. Why?

Korob: You are the, uh, different one, Mr. Spock. You do not think like the others. There are no colors to your patterns of logic. There's only black and white. You see all this around you and yet you do not believe.
Dr. McCoy: He doesn't know about trick-or-treat.
Korob: I do not understand that reference, therefore it also is of no importance.

Dr. McCoy: [examining Crewman Jackson] The man is dead.
Korob: [Korob's voice comes out of Jackson's open mouth] Captain Kirk, can you hear me? There is a curse on your ship. Leave this place or you will all die.

Dr. McCoy: [assessing their situation] Three witches, what appears to be a castle and a black cat.
Captain James T. Kirk: If we weren't missing two officers and a third one dead, I'd say someone was playing an elaborate trick-or-treat on us.

---

"Star Trek: The Magicks of Megas-Tu (#1.8)" (1973)

Dr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Jim, Spock, what in the name of sanity is going on?

Doctor McCoy: At least I have the good sense to be scared, Jim.

Doctor McCoy: You think Lucien really was the demon some men call Lucifer?
Captain James T. Kirk: Does it really matter, Bones?
Mr. Spock: It just might, captain. If he was, this would be the second time Lucifer was cast out. And thanks to you, the first time he was saved.

---

"Star Trek: The Survivor (#1.6)" (1973)

Doctor McCoy: [surprised to see the captured shape-shifter escorted by a guard] You caught him.
Mr. Spock: Acute observation, Doctor.
Doctor McCoy: I'm glad to see him under guard, Jim. If he'd turned into a second Spock, it would have been too much to take.
Mr. Spock: Perhaps. But then two Dr. McCoys just might bring the level of medical efficiency on this ship up to acceptable levels.

Doctor McCoy: Spock, of all the cold blooded, inhospitable requests I've ever heard!

Doctor McCoy: And you say I'm a man of curious habits? Jim's talking to a table.

---

"Star Trek: The Doomsday Machine (#2.6)" (1967)

Capt. Kirk: Bones, you ever hear of a doomsday machine?
Dr. McCoy: No, I'm a doctor, not a mechanic.

Dr. McCoy: You can't let him do this, Spock.
Matt Decker: Doctor, you are out of line.
Dr. McCoy: Well, so are you.
[pause]
Dr. McCoy: Sir.

Spock: Random chance seems to have operated in our favor.
Dr. McCoy: In plain non-Vulcan English, we've been lucky.
Spock: I believe I said that, Doctor.

---

"Star Trek: The Changeling (#2.3)" (1967)

Nomad: You are the Kirk, the creator. You programmed my function.
Dr. McCoy: [outraged] Well, I'M not the Kirk. Tell ME what your function is.
Nomad: This is one of your units, creator?
Capt. Kirk: Yes, he is.
Nomad: It functions irrationally.
Capt. Kirk: Sometimes, but tell him your function, nevertheless.
Nomad: My function is to probe for biological infestations, to destroy that which is not perfect.

Dr. McCoy: [looking at an isometric drawing of the NOMAD probe] Well, that's not the same.
Spock: Essentially, it is, Doctor. I believe that more happened to it than just damage in the meteor collision. It mentioned "the other." The unanswered question is: the other WHAT?

Dr. McCoy: He's dead, Jim.

---

"Star Trek: The Next Generation: Encounter at Farpoint (#1.1)" (1987)

Admiral Leonard H. "Bones" McCoy: How old do you think I am, anyway?
Lt. Commander Data: 137 years, Admiral, according to Starfleet records.
Admiral Leonard H. "Bones" McCoy: Explain how you remember that so exactly!
Lt. Commander Data: I remember every fact I am exposed to, sir.
Admiral Leonard H. "Bones" McCoy: [looking at both sides of Data's head] I don't see no points on your ears, boy, but you sound like a Vulcan.
Lt. Commander Data: No, sir. I am an android.
Admiral Leonard H. "Bones" McCoy: Hmph. Almost as bad.

Lt. Commander Data: I thought it was generally accepted, sir, that Vulcans are an advanced and most honorable race.
Admiral Leonard H. "Bones" McCoy: They are, they are. And damn annoying at times.

Admiral Leonard H. "Bones" McCoy: Well, this is a new ship. But she's got the right name. Now, you remember that, you hear?
Lt. Commander Data: I will, sir.
Admiral Leonard H. "Bones" McCoy: You treat her like a lady. And she'll always bring you home.

---

"Star Trek: Once Upon a Planet (#1.9)" (1973)

Mr. Spock: Was anyone considering the subject of pterodactyls?
Doctor McCoy: Spock, not now!

Doctor McCoy: Your forgetting one thing: the planet's sensors can undoubtedly deteact the difference between real and feigned injuries.
Captain James T. Kirk: True, Bones, but I'm sure there must be something in your little black pouch that can temporarily incapacitate our victim?
Doctor McCoy: Well, something like Melenex might do the trick: brief unconciousness and temporary skin discoloration. It looks worse than it is.
Captain James T. Kirk: Perfect, Bones.

Lt. Hikaru Sulu: It's been almost 5 minutes, captain.
Doctor McCoy: Maybe the planet smells a trick.

---

"Star Trek: Metamorphosis (#2.9)" (1967)

Dr. McCoy: I'm not a scientist or a physicist, Mr. Spock, but am I correct in assuming that anything that generates electricity can be shorted out?
Mr. Spock: Quite correct, Doctor.

Captain James T. Kirk: How do you fight a thing like that?
Dr. McCoy: Maybe you're a soldier so often that you forget you're also trained to be a diplomat. Why not try a carrot instead of a stick?

Captain James T. Kirk: There's no doubt about it, the Companion is female.
Zefram Cochrane: I don't understand.
Dr. McCoy: You don't? A blind man could see it with a cane. You're not a pet. You're not a specimen kept in a cage. You're a lover.

---

"Star Trek New Voyages: Phase II: In Harms Way (#1.1)" (2004)

Mr. Spock: Doctor, your poor attempts at humor exasperate an already desperate situation.
Dr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: I don't think I like you.

Captain James T. Kirk: Opinion, Doctor?
Dr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: I think you're a damn fool. And that guy with the ears is even worse.
Captain James T. Kirk: I'll take that as a yes, then, Bones.

Dr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: All this, for a history we don't know, for people we may or may not become? Captain, call it off while you still can.

---

"Star Trek: The Mark of Gideon (#3.16)" (1969)

Hodin: [on viewscreen, speaking from Gideon] Mr. Spock you are an officer of a spaceship. In your profession you use many instruments, tools and weapons to achieve your objectives.
Mr. Spock: [on the bridge of the Enterprise] True, your excellency.
Hodin: However, the only 'tool' diplomacy has is language. It is of the utmost importance that the meaning be crystal clear.
Mr. Spock: Your excellency, I am basically a scientist. Clarity of formulation is essential in my profession also.
Hodin: I am glad to hear it. Perhaps you could then make greater effort to choose your words more precisely.
[sits down]
Dr. McCoy: [to Spock] Are you gonna let him get away with that?
Scott: No matter what ye say, Mr. Spock, he'll twist your meaning.
Uhura: Yes, he's infuriating, sir, how can you stand it?

Dr. McCoy: And just when I was beginning to think you might find a whole new career as a diplomat, Mr. Spock.

Mr. Spock: I shall beam down at once, Mr. Scott, you have the con.
Dr. McCoy: I'll pick up my medical tricorder and meet you in the transporter room.
Mr. Spock: Negative, doctor. I cannot accept the responsibility for ordering a fellow officer to violate a Starfleet directive. I can make such a decision only for myself.
Dr. McCoy: I'm not asking you to make the decision for me.
Mr. Spock: The situation forces me to do so, doctor.
Dr. McCoy: Well in that case, it's the worst possible decision you can make, Spock.

---

"Star Trek: Balance of Terror (#1.14)" (1966)

Stiles: These are Romulans! You run away from them and you guarantee war. They'll be back - not just one ship, but with everything they've got. You know that, Mr. Science Officer. You're the expert on these people, but you've always left out that one point. Why? I'm very interested in why.
Captain James T. Kirk: Sit down, mister.
[Stiles does so, there is an awkward silence]
Mr. Spock: I agree. Attack.
Captain James T. Kirk: Are you suggesting we fight... to prevent a fight?
Dr. McCoy: Based on what? Memories of a war over a century ago? On theories about a people we've never even met face to face?
Stiles: We know what they look like...
Mr. Spock: Yes, indeed we do, Mr. Stiles. And if the Romulans are an offshoot of my Vulcan blood - and I think this likely - then attack becomes even more imperative.
Dr. McCoy: War is never imperative, Mr. Spock.
Mr. Spock: It is for them, Doctor. Vulcan, like Earth, had its aggressive, colonizing period - savage, even by Earth standards - and if the Romulans retain this martial philosophy, then weakness is something we dare not show.

Stiles: We enter the Neutral Zone in one minute, Captain.
Dr. McCoy: Do we violate the treaty, Captain?
Mr. Spock: They did, Doctor.
Mr. Spock: Once inside, they can claim we did. A set-up. They want war, we furnish the provocation.

McCoy: In this galaxy, there's a mathematical probability of three million Earth-type planets. And in all of the universe, three million million galaxies like this. And in all of that... and perhaps more, only one of each of us.
[pause]
McCoy: Don't destroy the one named Kirk.

---

"Star Trek: Albatross (#2.4)" (1974)

Mr. Spock: You realize doctor, if you go and fail to find an antidote, you too will die.
Dr. McCoy: I'm a doctor, Spock. A doctor! Get us beamed aboard!

Capt. Kirk: Gentlemen, I don't know about you, but I'm ready to get back to Starbase.
Dr. McCoy: Yes, sir.
Dr. McCoy: And I'm ready to get back to some of that monotonous, ol' routine sickbay work.
Mr. Spock: Including, I would hope, some of that monotonous, old dispensing of the regular vitamin rations to the crew.
Dr. McCoy: What is that supposed to mean?
Mr. Spock: Well, you have been derelict in your duties, of late, doctor.
Dr. McCoy: Spock, you know as well as I do what we've all just been through.
Mr. Spock: Hippocrates would not have approved of lame excuses, doctor.

Dr. McCoy: Jim, if I'm ever in jail again, don't send that Vulcan to release me. Just let me rot.

---

"Star Trek: The Squire of Gothos (#1.17)" (1967)

Mr. Spock: The precise meaning of the word 'desert' is a waterless, barren wasteland. I fail to understand your romantic nostalgia for such a place.
Dr. McCoy: Doesn't surprise me, Mr. Spock. I can't imagine a mirage ever disturbing those mathematically perfect brainwaves of yours.
Mr. Spock: Thank you, Dr. McCoy.

Dr. McCoy: You should taste his food. Straw would taste better than his meat, and water a hundred times better than his brandy - nothing has any taste at all.
Mr. Spock: It may be unappetizing, doctor, but it is logical.
Dr. McCoy: Ah, there's that magic word again. Does your logic find this fascinating, Mr. Spock?
Mr. Spock: No, 'fascinating' is a word I use for the unexpected. In this case, I should think 'interesting' would suffice.

Captain James T. Kirk: How were our scanners able to penetrate that radiation field?
Mr. Spock: They didn't, Captain. Not clearly. We merely beamed up all life forms in a given area.
Dr. McCoy: Which means Trelane is not a life form as we know it or he'd be beaming through now.

---

"Star Trek: The Infinite Vulcan (#1.7)" (1973)

Doctor McCoy: Now just a minute. I can't let you, whatever you are, inject him with some alien... dewdrop!

Captain James T. Kirk: Bones?
Doctor McCoy: One of my great, great granddaddies way back had the finest garden in the South. Had to scramble around a little bit to find the materials, but I've got his recipe brewing now.

Doctor McCoy: Well how about that? Great Granddady's weed spray still works.

---

"Star Trek: The Return of the Archons (#1.21)" (1967)

[Dr. McCoy returns to the holding cell, a changed man]
Captain James T. Kirk: Doc...
Dr. McCoy: [not recognizing Captain Kirk] Can I help you, friend?
Captain James T. Kirk: Don't you know me?
Dr. McCoy: We all know one another - in Landru.

Dr. McCoy: [absorbed] You speak in strange whispers. This is not the way of Landru.

Dr. McCoy: [absorbed] Blessed be the body, and health to all of its parts.

---

"Star Trek: Mudd's Passion (#1.10)" (1973)

Mr. Spock: Captain, um, Doctor, I wish to report a, um, a number of very strange, um, *emotions*.
Doctor McCoy: What?
Captain James T. Kirk: What?

Captain James T. Kirk: Do you think Harry Mudd is doen there, Spock?
Mr. Spock: The probability of his presence on Motherlode is 81 per cent plus or minus .53.
Doctor McCoy: Why can't you just say Mudd's probably there?
Mr. Spock: I just did, doctor.

Doctor McCoy: Did I ever tel you about the time I saved captain Kirk's life? Or Spocks?
[the girl shakes her head]
Doctor McCoy: And my dear friend scotty, and that pretty little lieutenant Uhura, I've saved just about everbody on this here ship. If the Enterprise had a heart, I'd safe her too! Now, let's talk about your heart, my dear.

---

"Star Trek: The Savage Curtain (#3.22)" (1969)

Dr. McCoy: What's all this poppycock about life forms on this planet, Spock? The surface is molten lava, the atmosphere is poisonous.

Scott: President Lincoln, indeed! No doubt to be followed by Louis of France and Robert the Bruce!
Dr. McCoy: If so, then we will execute appropriate honors for each, Mr. Scott.

Dr. McCoy: You're both out of your heads!
Scott: Aye, sir.
Captain James T. Kirk: And you're both on the edge of insubordination.
Dr. McCoy: Would I be on the edge of insubordination to remind the captain that this smells of something happening to him that I might not be able to patch back together again.
Scott: Aye!

---

"Star Trek: Arena (#1.18)" (1967)

Captain James T. Kirk: You'll enjoy Commodore Travers. He sets a good table.
Dr. McCoy: I wonder if he brought his personal chef along with him to Cestus III?
Captain James T. Kirk: Probably. Rank hath it's priviletes.
Dr. McCoy: [they both chuckle] How well we both know that!

Dr. McCoy: If there were only some way we could contact him.
Mr. Spock: Yes, indeed doctor, if only there were. Notice the substance encrusting that rock?
Dr. McCoy: Yes?
Mr. Spock: Unless I'm mistaken, it's potassium nitrate.
Dr. McCoy: So?
Mr. Spock: Perhaps nothing, doctor. Perhaps everything.

Dr. McCoy: We appeal to you in the name of civilization! Put a stop to this!
Metron: Your violent intent and actions demonstrate that you are not civilized.

---

"Star Trek: The Tholian Web (#3.9)" (1968)

Spock: While there was a chance, I was bound legally and morally to ascertain the Captain's status.
McCoy: You mean, to make sure he was dead.

[a nearby spacial phenomenon caused McCoy to have a sudden emotional outburst against Spock]
McCoy: It must be this space, it's getting to me too, I... I know it's nothing you've done, Spock, I... I'm sorry.
Spock: I understand, doctor. I'm sure the Captain would simply have said: Forget it, Bones.

---

"Star Trek: The Menagerie: Part I (#1.11)" (1966)

Captain James T. Kirk: There's a false entry in the log right now which doesn't jibe with the established facts. How do you explain that?
Dr. McCoy: I can't! But to question Spock, of all people... Me, yes. I could run off half-cocked given a good reason, so could you, but not Spock. It's impossible.

Mr. Spock: Doctor, as senior officer present, I present myself to you for arrest.
Dr. McCoy: What?
Mr. Spock: The charge is mutiny, Doctor. I never received orders to take command.

---

Star Trek Adventure (1991)

Dr. McCoy: Medical log, stardate 8707.2. Dr. McCoy reporting. The crew of the Enterprise is busy readying itself for an ordeal that I'm sure will prove to be trying: a Starfleet training mission. Below us on Earth, Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock are attending a conference at Federation headquarters, which makes them unable to help supervise the new graduates. But at least I'm not alone in this endeavor. Uhura, Chekov, Sulu and Scotty are aboard too, and you couldn't ask for better instructors than that.

Dr. McCoy: Now that the new "Captain" and his fellow graduates are on the bridge, I can feel my nervous stomach acting up. I have to keep reminding myself that this is only a training mission.

---

"Star Trek: How Sharper Than a Serpent's Tooth (#2.5)" (1974)

Kukulkan: If you do not know me, than it is my task to teach you!
[transports the crewmen to another place]
Dr. McCoy: Just once I wish he'd let us use the stairs.

Dr. McCoy: There's a line from Shakespeare...
Captain Kirk: Yes Bones, I remember it: How sharper than a serpents tooth it is to have a thankless child.
Mr. Spock: Indeed, Captain.

---

"Star Trek: By Any Other Name (#2.22)" (1968)

Rojan: We do not colonize. We conquer. We rule! There's no other way for us.
Dr. McCoy: In other words, "The galaxy isn't big enough for both of us!"

Tomar: [watching the humans eat] I do not understand why you take the trouble to consume this... bulk material to, uh, sustain yourselves.
Tomar: [holding up a small box of pills] We have ascertained that these contain all the nutritional elements.
Dr. McCoy: Before you condemn it, why don't you try it?
Tomar: I believe I will. Assist me.

---

"Star Trek: Is There in Truth No Beauty? (#3.5)" (1968)

[Spock is mind-linked with Kollos]
Mr. Spock: And Uhura, whose name means freedom. 'She walks in beauty, like the night.'
Dr. McCoy: That's not Spock.
Mr. Spock: Are you surprised that I've read Byron, Doctor?
Dr. McCoy: *That's* Spock!

[Spock is sharing his brain with an alien, with whom he mind-melded]
Spock: This is delightful! I know you! All of you! James Kirk, captain and friend for many years. And Leonard McCoy, ha-ha, also of long acquaintance. And Uhura, whose name means "freedom". She walks in beauty like the night.
McCoy: [to Kirk] That's not Spock!
Spock: Are you surprised to find that I read Byron, doctor?
McCoy: That's Spock!

---

"Star Trek: One of Our Planets Is Missing (#1.3)" (1973)

Mr. Spock: Captain, I have completed the analysis of the target area. Unfortunately, the brain is so vast, our entire offensive armament will not assure its destruction. However, the brain could e completely destroyed if we convert the entire ship to energy aimed at the brain's cortex and expand the energy in one mortal strike.
Doctor McCoy: That sounds like you're telling us to blow up the ship.
Mr. Spock: I believe that is what I just said, doctor.

Doctor McCoy: Jim, if we don't self-destruct now, all those people will die!

---

"Star Trek: Spock's Brain (#3.1)" (1968)

McCoy: [as McCoy is trying to restore Spock's Brain] I'm never going to be able to live this down. This Vulcan is telling me how to operate.

McCoy: [after restoring Spock's brain functions, while Spock prattles on about the planet's civilization] I knew it...
Captain James T. Kirk: [puzzled] What?
McCoy: I never should have attached his mouth.
[Spock stops speaking abruptly and looks quizzically at McCoy]

---

"Star Trek: The Alternative Factor (#1.27)" (1967)

Dr. McCoy: He's in a lot of pain!
Capt. Kirk: Sometimes pain can drive a man harder than pleasure. I'm sure you know that, Doctor!

Dr. McCoy: Well, as you know, we both brought Lazarus in here and I treated a deep abrasion on his forehead, right?
Capt. Kirk: Right.
Dr. McCoy: And then I bandaged it, I stepped into this room for just a moment...
Capt. Kirk: Bones, I have a lot of things to do. Get to the point.
Dr. McCoy: Well, say he's got the constitution of a dinosaur, recuperative powers, ditto.
Capt. Kirk: Mm-hm.
Dr. McCoy: And, as we both know, I'm a bright young medic with a miraculous touch.
Capt. Kirk: Mm-hm.
Dr. McCoy: Well, why, then, when I returned, there wasn't a trace of that wound on his forehead? Not even a bruise. It was like he had never been injured.

---

"Star Trek: Court Martial (#1.20)" (1967)

Dr. McCoy: If you have any doubt, that was indeed Captain James Kirk of the Enterprise.
Areel Shaw: Yes, I know. Are you a friend of his?
Dr. McCoy: In these trying times, one of the few. Doctor Leonard McCoy, and you?
Areel Shaw: Areel Shaw, and I'm a friend, too. An old one.
Dr. McCoy: All of my old friends look like doctors; all of his look like you.

Dr. McCoy: Mr. Spock, you're the most cold-blooded man I've ever known.
Mr. Spock: Why, thank you, Doctor.

---

"Star Trek: Tomorrow Is Yesterday (#1.19)" (1967)

Capt. Kirk: [talking about Captain Christopher] And if we do get back to where we belong, then he won't belong. We're roughly about the same age, but in our society, he'd be useless. Archaic.
Dr. McCoy: But, maybe he could be retrained, re-educated.
Capt. Kirk: Now you're sounding like Spock.
Dr. McCoy: Well, if you're gonna get nasty, I'm gonna leave.

Mr. Spock: I made an error in my computations.
Dr. McCoy: Oh? This could be an historic occasion.

---

"Star Trek: The Practical Joker (#2.3)" (1974)

Dr. McCoy: Lieutenant Uhura, I have to hand it to you. This is just what the doctor would have ordered.

Dr. McCoy: When I get my hands on the clown who's behind all this, I'll put him in sickbay for a week!
Main Computer: Temper, temper!

---

"Star Trek New Voyages: Phase II: To Serve All My Days (#1.2)" (2006)

Dr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Take this shift off. Go back to your quarters and relax.
Lt. Pavel Chekov: But doctor, I feel fine!
Dr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Hey, doctor's orders. And if you decide to disobey, remember, I can pull you in here for a complete two day medical exam, with probes, just because.
Lt. Pavel Chekov: I think I'll go back to my quarters... and relax.

Lt. Pavel Chekov: How much time do I have, honestly?
Dr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Damn it, Pavel, I'm a doctor. Not a watchmaker.
[pause]
Dr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Soon.

---

"Star Trek: And the Children Shall Lead (#3.4)" (1968)

Mr. Spock: Evil does seek to maintain power by suppressing the truth.
Dr. McCoy: Or by misleading the innocent.

Dr. McCoy: They're crying Jim. I don't know how it happened, but it's good to see.

---

"Star Trek New Voyages: Phase II: Blood and Fire: Part Two (#1.5)" (2009)

Kirk: What the hell do you think you're doing?
McCoy: This isn't negotiable, Jim. Those people need a doctor who knows what he's doing. I'm it.
Kirk: Bones, I can order you not to go.
McCoy: You're not the only one who can disobey an order. You wanna save 'em? So do I! Now let me do my God damn job.

McCoy: Don't you dare give me any Vulcan blood.
Fontana: Shut up!

---

"Star Trek: The Terratin Incident (#1.11)" (1973)

Doctor McCoy: Jim, you don't mean you're going to abandon the mapping mission to check out some meaningless signal?
Captain James T. Kirk: Meaningless at the moment, Bones, but it was sent twice. Odd against that occuring in a totally random transmission are too high to ignore.

Mr. Spock: Miss Chapel, what is the composition of this decoration?
Nurse Christine Chapel: Well it was made for me by the Titanium smiths of Libra, but... it was an arm bracelet. More like a necklace now.
Mr. Spock: Yet the uniform on which you wear it fits as well as ever. Uniform made of algae based xenulon, I believe."
Doctor McCoy: Aren't all our uniforms xenulon?
Captain James T. Kirk: Yes. And they've all been shrinking proportionally with us.

---

"Star Trek: The Lorelei Signal (#1.4)" (1973)

Theela: I am Theela, the head female. Welcome, James Kirk, Dr. McCoy, Mr. Spock, welcome.
Mr. Spock: The form is humanoid, but there are many internal differences. Their bodies appear to funtcion in an unusual psychokinesis levil.
Doctor McCoy: First time I ever admired a body function.

Theela: Take them to the slumber chambers. They must rest.
Doctor McCoy: Probably that nectar. It's potent as Saurian brandy.

---

"Star Trek: The Naked Time (#1.4)" (1966)

Dr. McCoy: Jim, he was decontaminated, he's been medically checked, we've run every test we know for everything that we know...
Capt. Kirk: That's not good enough!
Dr. McCoy: Well, we're doing everything that's possible.
Capt. Kirk: Bones, I want the impossbile checked out, too.

Dr. McCoy: Your pulse is two hundred and forty-two. Your blood pressure is practically non-existent. Assuming you call that green stuff in your veins blood...
Spock: The readings are perfectly normal for me, Doctor, thank you. And as for my anatomy being different from yours, I am delighted.

---

"Star Trek: Patterns of Force (#2.21)" (1968)

Spock: [the Enterprise has detonated a missile launched at them from a nearby planet] Fascinating. A thermonuclear warhead.
McCoy: That's generations ahead of where these people should be technically. How did they manage that?
Capt. Kirk: Maybe they had help.
[referring to a picture of John Gill, a Federation member the Enterprise has been sent to locate]

[last lines]
Spock: Captain, I never will understand humans. How could a man as brilliant, a mind as logical as John Gill's, have made such a fatal error?
Capt. Kirk: He drew the wrong conclusion from history. The problem with the Nazis wasn't simply that the leaders were evil, psychotic men. They WERE, but the main problem, I think, was the leader principle.
McCoy: What's he's saying, Spock, is that a man holds that much power, even with the best intentions, just can't resist the urge to play God.
Spock: Thank you, Doctor. I was able to gather the meaning.
McCoy: It also proves another Earth saying: Absolute power corrupts absolutely. Darn clever, these Earth men, wouldn't you say?
Spock: Yes. Earth men like Ramses, Alexander, Caesar, Napoleon, Hitler, Lee Kuan. Your whole Earth history is made of men seeking absolute power.
McCoy: [defensively] Now, Spock, you obviously don't under...
Spock: Obviously, Doctor, you fail to accept...
Capt. Kirk: Gentlemen... gentlemen, we've just been through one civil war; let's not start another. Mr. Chekov, take us out of orbit, warp factor 2, and... hurry.

---

"Star Trek: Day of the Dove (#3.7)" (1968)

Captain James T. Kirk: [after Kang and his crew have been beamed aboard] Secure from Red Alert, but maintain General Quarters. Scan the sector for other ships. Run a full check on the colony. I want this thing nailed down, fast.
Chekov: We know what happened: that distress call.
Mr. Spock: At the moment we received the distress signal from the colony on Beta XII-A, the Klingons were too far distant to have been the attackers. Moreover, they also were apparently attracted by a distress call.
[they enter the turbolift]
Chekov: Lies! They want to start a war by pretending that we did it!
Dr. McCoy: Chekov may be right. The Klingons claim to have honored the truce, but there have been incidents, raids on our outposts...
Captain James T. Kirk: But no proof that the Klingons committed it.
Dr. McCoy: What proof do we need? We know what a Klingon is!
[McCoy exits turbolift]
Mr. Spock: Our log tape will indicate our innocence in our present situation.
Captain James T. Kirk: Unfortunately, there's no guarantee that they will be believed.
[Kirk, Spock, and Chekov step onto the Bridge]

Captain James T. Kirk: [after learning there is an unknown alien on board] A brother that never existed, a phantom colony, imaginary distress calls, the creation of these weapons... Do you sense a pattern, Mr. Spock?
Mr. Spock: If the alien is creating these events, Captain, it is apparently capable of manipulating matter and mind.
Captain James T. Kirk: Now it has control of the Enterprise and taking us out of the galaxy. But why?
Mr. Spock: Captain, I am constrained to point out that since minds are evidently being influenced, we cannot know at this moment whether our own memories are completely accurate and true.
Captain James T. Kirk: We must talk to Kang. Bury the hatchet.
Mr. Spock: An appropriate choice of terms, Captain.
[McCoy enters]
Mr. Spock: However, it is notoriously difficult to arrange a truce with the Klingons once blood has been drawn.
Dr. McCoy: [angry] Truce? Are you serious? I've got men in Sick Bay, some of them dying! Atrocities committed on their persons! You talk about making peace with these things? If our backs were turned, they'd jump on us in a minute! You know what Klingons do to prisoners: slave labor, death planets, experiments!
Captain James T. Kirk: [shocked] McCoy!
Dr. McCoy: While you're talking, they're planning attacks! This is a fight to the death! We'd better start trying to win it!
Mr. Spock: We are attempting to end it, Doctor, by reason, preferably. There is an alien on board which may have created this situation.
Dr. McCoy: Who cares what started it, Mr. Spock? We're in it! Those murderers! We should wipe out EVERY ONE OF THEM!
Captain James T. Kirk: [calmly] The alien is the real threat. That's the enemy we have to wipe out.
Uhura: Sick Bay calling, Doctor. There are more wounded men requiring your attention.
Dr. McCoy: How many more men must die before you two begin to act like military men, instead of fools!
[exits]

---

"Star Trek: The Ambergris Element (#1.13)" (1973)

Doctor McCoy: Medical Log: Stardate 5506.2. Captain Kirk and First Officer Spock were rescued forty-eight hours ago. They have no recollection of what happened to them after they were attacked, but medical examinations show an unidentified substance in the blood stream has affected their entire metabolism and changed them into water breathers. Their internal structure is completely transformed, and even their eyes are covered with a transparent film, like the second eyelid of a fish. So far all efforts to return them to normal have failed.

Doctor McCoy: [on intercom] There's a seaquake due in that area. A bad one. Complete topography changes.
Scotty: How soon?
Doctor McCoy, Scotty: Within four hours. When are Jim and Spock due to make contact?
Scotty: About the same time.
Scotty: Well can you contact them sooner?
Scotty: We can try like blue blazes. Scott out.

---

"Star Trek: Yesteryear (#1.2)" (1973)

Doctor McCoy: If that was supposed to be a joke, Spock, I have to remind you Vulcna's don't tell jokes.
Mr. Spock: Times change, doctor... times change.

---

"Star Trek: Let That Be Your Last Battlefield (#3.15)" (1969)

Captain James T. Kirk: [in sick bay, McCoy is examining the unconcious Lokai after the Enterprise recovers him in a stolen shuttle] Your prognosis, Doctor?
Dr. McCoy: Well, I can't give you one, Jim. I've never worked on anyone like him, or anything like him.
Mr. Spock: Yet you are pumping him full of your noxious potions as if he were a human.
Dr. McCoy: [angrily] When in doubt, the book prevails, Mr. Spock. I've run tests. Blood is blood, even when it's green like yours.

---

Star Trek: Judgment Rites (1993) (VG)

Doctor Leonard McCoy: You can never trust anybody, and people who look like pointy-eared hobgoblins are definitely at the bottom of the list.
Spock: It appears that Doctor McCoy did not learn the lesson of this mission either. Unfortunate, but not unexpected.

---

"Star Trek New Voyages: Phase II: World Enough and Time (#1.3)" (2007)

Dr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: [to Spock] How can that green blood of yours be so cold?

---

"Star Trek: Whom Gods Destroy (#3.14)" (1969)

Dr. McCoy: How can we be powerful enough to wipe out a planet and still be so helpless?

---

"Star Trek: More Tribbles, More Troubles (#1.5)" (1973)

Dr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: There's no such thing as a safe tribble.

---

"Star Trek: That Which Survives (#3.17)" (1969)

Captain James T. Kirk: [about Losira] She must have been... a remarkable woman.
Dr. McCoy: And beautiful.
Mr. Spock: Beauty is transitory, doctor. However, she was evidently highly intelligent.
Captain James T. Kirk: Kirk to Enterprise, five to beam up. I don't agree with you, Mr. Spock.
Mr. Spock: Indeed, captain.
Captain James T. Kirk: Beauty... survives.

---

"Star Trek: Mirror, Mirror (#2.4)" (1967)

Dr. McCoy: Jim, I think I liked him with a beard better. It gave him character. Of course almost any change would be a distinct improvement.
Captain James T. Kirk: What worries me is the easy way his counterpart fitted into that other universe. I always thought Spock was a bit of a pirate at heart.
Mr. Spock: Indeed, gentlemen. May I point out that I had an opportunity to observe your counterparts here quite closely. They were brutal, savage, unprincipled, uncivilized, treacherous - in every way splendid examples of homo sapiens, the very flower of humanity. I found them quite refreshing.
Captain James T. Kirk: [to McCoy] I'm not sure, but I think we've been insulted.
Dr. McCoy: I'm sure.

---

"Star Trek: Wink of an Eye (#3.11)" (1968)

Captain James T. Kirk: But there is an insect life...
Dr. McCoy: My tricorder doesn't register.
Captain James T. Kirk: It registers on my ears.

---

"Star Trek New Voyages: Phase II: Blood and Fire: Part One (#1.4)" (2008)

Captain James T. Kirk: My nephew... on a security team.
Dr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Relax, Jim. We don't put bullseyes on the redshirts anymore.

---