Quotes for
Enterprise Computer (Character)
from "Star Trek" (1966)

"Star Trek: The Next Generation: Remember Me (#4.5)" (1990)

[after the crew has disappeared, Beverly is the only one left on the ship]
Doctor Beverly Crusher: Computer, read the entire crew roster for the Enterprise.
Computer: Dr. Beverly Crusher.
Doctor Beverly Crusher: Have I always been the only member of the crew on the Starship Enterprise?
Computer: Affirmative.
Doctor Beverly Crusher: If this were a bad dream, would you tell me?
Computer: That is not a valid question.
Doctor Beverly Crusher: Like hell it's not.

Doctor Beverly Crusher: What is the primary mission of the Starship Enterprise?
Computer: To explore the galaxy.
Doctor Beverly Crusher: Do I have the necessary skills to complete that mission alone?
Computer: Negative.
Doctor Beverly Crusher: Then why am I the only crew member?
[the computer makes error-sounds]
Doctor Beverly Crusher: Aha. Got you there.

Doctor Beverly Crusher: Starbase 133, this is the Enterprise... Starbase 133, this is the Enterprise. Please acknowledge... Viewscreen on.
[viewscreen activates, but shows only a field of bluish mist instead of stars]
Doctor Beverly Crusher: It's not just people. *Everything* is disappearing. Computer, what is that mist I'm seeing?
Computer: Sensors indicate it to be a mass-energy field 705 meters in diameter.
Doctor Beverly Crusher: It surrounds the ship?
Computer: Affirmative.
Doctor Beverly Crusher: If there's nothing wrong with me... maybe there's something wrong with the universe. Computer, what is beyond the mass-energy field?
Computer: Sensors cannot penetrate the field.
Doctor Beverly Crusher: Here's a question you shouldn't be able to answer. Computer, what is the nature of the universe?
Computer: The universe is a spheroid region 705 meters in diameter.

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"Star Trek: The Next Generation: Home Soil (#1.17)" (1988)

[the crew is analyzing an inorganic but flashing object]
Doctor Beverly Crusher: Analyze: the pattern of the flashes.
Computer Voice: Not repetitive or sequential. Pattern not recognized.
Doctor Beverly Crusher: What is the source of the flashes?
Computer Voice: Unable to specify. Theoretically not possible from this substance.
Doctor Beverly Crusher: Disregard incongruity, and theorize as to source.
Computer Voice: [bleeps extensively] Life.

Lt. Commander Data: Please show me spectral analysis, magnification 12k.
Computer Voice: Silicon, germanium.
Lt. Commander Data: Transistor material.
Computer Voice: Gallium arsenide.
Lieutenant Geordi La Forge: Emits light when charged.
Computer Voice: Cadmium selenide, sulfide.
Lt. Commander Data: Emits charge when lit.
Computer Voice: Water, impurities, sodium salts.
Lieutenant Worf: Conductor.
Lieutenant Worf: [to Data and Geordi] But is it alive?
Computer Voice: Probability: positive.
Lieutenant Worf: I wasn't asking *you*.

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"Star Trek: Mudd's Women (#1.6)" (1966)

Mr. Spock: State your name for the record.
Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh: Leo Francis Walsh.
Computer Voice: Incorrect.
Mr. Spock: Your correct name.
Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh: Gentlemen, surely you're not going to take the word of a soulless mechanical device over that of a real, flesh and blood man?
Mr. Spock: State your correct name for the record.
Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh: Harry Mudd.
Computer Voice: Incorrect.
Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh: Harcourt Fenton Mudd.
Mr. Spock: Any past offenses, Mr. Mudd?
Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh: Of course not. Gentlemen, I'm simply an honest businessman.
Computer Voice: Incorrect.
Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh: Blast that tin-plated pot.

Captain James T. Kirk: Computer, go to sensor probe. Any unusual readings?
Computer Voice: No decipherable reading on females. However, unusual reading on male board members. Detecting high respiration patterns, perspiration rates up, heartbeat rapid, blood pressure higher than normal.
Captain James T. Kirk: That's sufficent. Strike that from the record, Mr Spock.

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"Star Trek: The Next Generation: Conspiracy (#1.24)" (1988)

[Data is screening records of orders from Starfleet]
Lt. Cmdr. Data: [to himself] Startling. Quite extraordinary, in fact.
Computer Voice: Direction unclear. Please repeat request.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: That was not a request. I was simply... talking to myself!
[becomes conscious of that fact]
Lt. Cmdr. Data: A human idiosyncrasy, triggered by a fascination with a particular set of facts. Or sometimes brought about by senility. Or used as a means of weighing information before reaching a conclusion. Or as a...
Computer Voice: Thank you, sir. I comprehend.

Computer Voice: This is an emergency communique. It is not to be discussed with fellow officers unless deemed absolutely necessary. There will be no computer record of said transmission.

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"Star Trek: Voyager: Tinker Tenor Doctor Spy (#6.4)" (1999)

Voyager Computer: Warning. Last chance to be a hero, Doctor. Get going!

Voyager Computer: Warning. Warp core breach a lot sooner than you think.

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"Star Trek: The Next Generation: Evolution (#3.1)" (1989)

Capt. Picard: Computer, identify malfunction immediately!
Enterprise Computer: Pawn to bishop 4. Knight to king's rook 3. Bishop to queen's bishop 4. Knight to knight 5...

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"Star Trek: Voyager: Workforce: Part 1 (#7.16)" (2001)

[the Doctor is making repairs]
The Doctor: Reinitialize the subspace transponder.
Voyager Computer: [bleeps] Warning. Main computer is failing.
The Doctor: Switch to backup processors.
Voyager Computer: Main computer stabilized.
The Doctor: Good. Now, let's try this again. Reinitialize the subspace transponder.
Voyager Computer: Unable to comply.
The Doctor: Why not?
Voyager Computer: Insufficient power.
The Doctor: And they say *I'm* difficult.

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"Star Trek: Voyager: Author, Author (#7.20)" (2001)

The Doctor: What you've experienced, dear protagonist, is a work of fiction. But like all fiction, it has elements of truth. I hope you now have a better understanding of the struggles holograms must endure, in a world controlled... by organics.
Voyager Computer: End of program.

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"Star Trek: Voyager: Dragon's Teeth (#6.7)" (1999)

Neelix: Computer, name the specific folktales that use the word 'vaadwaur'.
Voyager Computer: "The Demon with the Golden Voice"; "The Tale of the Deadly Stranger"; "The Tale of the Boy Who Lost His Head"; "The Tale of the Bloody Hand".
Neelix: Not exactly 'Mother Goose'.

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"Star Trek: Voyager: Extreme Risk (#5.3)" (1998)

B'Elanna Torres: Computer, disengage safety protocols.
Voyager Computer: [bleeps] Warning! Disengaging safety protocols presents extreme risk of injury.
B'Elanna Torres: Override.

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"Star Trek: Voyager: Q2 (#7.19)" (2001)

Captain Janeway: [to replicator] Coffee, black.
Voyager Computer: Make it yourself!
[after Q2 has given the ship's computer "more personality"]

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"Star Trek: A Taste of Armageddon (#1.23)" (1967)

Scott: Computer - last message received and recorded from Captain Kirk.
Enterprise Computer: In place.
Scott: Run it through analyzer. Question: is it or is it not the Captain's voice?
Enterprise Computer: Negative. A close copy.
Scott: A voice duplicator?
Enterprise Computer: 98% probability.
Scott: [to McCoy] Well, they've got them, Doctor, and now they're trying to get us.

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"Star Trek: The Conscience of the King (#1.13)" (1966)

Enterprise Computer: Kodos the Executioner. Summary: Governor of Tarsis 4 twenty Earth years ago. Invoked martial law. Slaughtered fifty per cent of population Earth colony that planet. Burned body found when Earth forces arrived. No positive identification. Case closed.

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Star Trek: First Contact (1996)

Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Initiate auto-destruct sequence. Authorization: Picard, 4 7 Alpha Tango.
Dr. Beverly Crusher: Computer, Commander Beverly Crusher. Confirm auto-destruct sequence. Authorization: Crusher, 2 2 Beta Charlie.
Lt. Commander Worf: Computer, Lieutenant Commander Worf. Confirm auto-destruct sequence. Authorization: Worf, 3 7 Gamma Echo.
Computer: Command authorization accepted. Awaiting final command.
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: This is Captain Jean-Luc Picard. Destruct sequence: Alpha 1. 15 minutes, silent countdown. Enable.
Computer: Auto-destruct in 15 minutes. There will be no further audio warnings.
Dr. Beverly Crusher: So much for the Enterprise-E.
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: We barely knew her.
Dr. Beverly Crusher: Think they'll build another one?
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Plenty of letters left in the alphabet.

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"Star Trek: Voyager: Timeless (#5.6)" (1998)

Voyager Computer: Warning. Warp core breach in 45 seconds.
Chakotay: Harry, *now* would be a good time.

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"Star Trek: Voyager: Homestead (#7.23)" (2001)

[the away team has managed to power up the Delta Flyer]
Tom Paris: Good work. Now we need to run a systems...
Computer: [bleeps] Intruder alert.
Tom Paris: At least we know internal sensors are working.

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"Star Trek: Voyager: The Haunting of Deck Twelve (#6.25)" (2000)

[the Voyager computer has been taken over by an alien life form]
Voyager Computer: Captain Janeway, report to Engineering.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Like hell I will.
[she runs into a force field]
Captain Kathryn Janeway: I won't be your prisoner. You'll have to kill me!
Voyager Computer: Acknowledged.

---

"Star Trek: Voyager: Drive (#7.3)" (2000)

[Tom and B'Elanna are faced with an imminent warp core breach]
Tom Paris: So, what's your answer?
B'Elanna Torres: My answer?
Tom Paris: Will you marry me?
Computer: Warp core breach in 15 seconds.
B'Elanna Torres: You're proposing *now*?
Tom Paris: It's as good a time as any.

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"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: The Adversary (#3.26)" (1995)

[having lost any control of the Defiant's systems, Sisko has initiated the auto-destruct sequence]
Chief O'Brien: I think I may be able to shut down the changeling's forcefields and gain access to the sabotaged systems. The only problem is, we may lose our forcefields too.
Federation Computer: Auto-destruct in seven minutes.
Captain Sisko: Just tell me how long it will take.
Chief O'Brien: Well, I guess it'll have to be less than seven minutes, won't it?
Captain Sisko: That'd be my suggestion.

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"Star Trek: Tomorrow Is Yesterday (#1.19)" (1967)

Capt. Kirk: Captain's log, supplemental. Engineering Officer Scott informs: warp engines damaged but can be made operational and re-energized.
Enterprise Computer: Computed and recorded, dear.
Capt. Kirk: Computer, you will not address me in that manner. Compute.
Enterprise Computer: Computed, dear.

---

"Star Trek: The Next Generation: The Nth Degree (#4.19)" (1991)

Barclay: Computer, begin new program. Create as follows: workstation chair. Now, create a standard alphanumeric console, positioned for the left hand. Now an iconic display console, positioned for the right hand. Tie both consoles into the Enterprise main computer core, utilizing neural-scan interface.
Enterprise Computer: There is no such device on file.
Barclay: No problem. Here's how you build it.

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"Star Trek: The Next Generation: Violations (#5.12)" (1992)

[La Forge is carrying out a ship-wide diagnostic for chemical agents]
Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: Ferrazene has a complex molecular structure; it breaks down into bilenium and tarrisite. Do the sensors scan for those?
Enterprise Computer: Ship's sensors scan for both compounds.
Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: And are *they* present on the Enterprise?
Enterprise Computer: Bilenium and tarrisite are not present.
Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: Do any of the substances break down into by-products that are not scanned for?
Enterprise Computer: Dardilion contains the by-product nilizene. Sensors do not routinely scan for that substance.
Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: [impatient] Well, this isn't a routine situation. Scan for the nilizene.
Enterprise Computer: There is no nilizene on the Enterprise.
Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: [ironic] How did I know you were gonna say that?

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"Star Trek: The Next Generation: Relics (#6.4)" (1992)

[Scotty walks up to the holodeck and activates it]
Computer Voice: Please enter program.
Scotty: The android at the bar said you could show me my old ship. Let me see it.
Computer Voice: Insufficient data. Please specify parameters.
Scotty: [frustrated] The Enterprise. Show me the bridge of the Enterprise, you chatterin' piece of...
Computer Voice: There have been five Federation ships with that name. Please specify by registry number.
Scotty: N-C-C-1-7-0-1. No bloody A - B - C - or D!

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"Star Trek: Voyager: Fair Haven (#6.11)" (2000)

[last lines]
Captain Kathryn Janeway: I want to make one more modification to the character.
Voyager Computer: Specify.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Deny Kathryn Janeway any future access to his behavioral subroutines.
Voyager Computer: Modification complete.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Save program.

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Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (1984)

Torg: [the Klingons have boarded the Enterprise only to find it is deserted] My Lord, the ship appears to be deserted.
Kruge: How can that be? They're hiding.
Torg: Yes, sir. The ship appears to be run by computer. It is the only thing that is speaking.
Kruge: Speaking? Let me hear it.
Enterprise computer: [Torg walks over to a console, placing his communicator towards it] 9-8-7-6-5...
Kruge: [shouts] Get out! Get out of there! Get out!
Enterprise computer: 2-1...
[the Enterprise bridge explodes]

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"Star Trek: The Next Generation: Where Silence Has Lease (#2.2)" (1988)

[the Enterprise is set to auto destruct and time is running out]
Enterprise Computer: Ten seconds to auto-destruct.
Commander William T. Riker: [tense] Captain...
Capt. Picard: Abort auto-destruct sequence.
Enterprise Computer: Riker, William T., do you concur?
Commander William T. Riker: Yes, absolutely, I do indeed concur wholeheartedly!
Enterprise Computer: Auto-destruct canceled.
[everyone breathes a huge sigh of relief]
Capt. Picard: A simple 'yes' would have sufficed, Number One.
Commander William T. Riker: I didn't want there to be any chance of misunderstanding.

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"Star Trek: The Next Generation: Force of Nature (#7.9)" (1993)

[La Forge is in competition of prestige with Cmdr. Kaplan, chief engineer of the Intrepid]
Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: [handing Data a data PADD] I just received this from Commander Kaplan, subspace.
Lt. Commander Data: [reads] "La Forge. I got the Intrepid's power conversion levels up to 97.1%. Maybe you should try cleaning your plasma grid once in a while".
Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: Can you believe the nerve of that guy?
Lt. Commander Data: [bewildered] We perform maintenance on the plasma grid at regular intervals.
Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: I know. He's just trying to get me angry.
[he adjusts something on a control panel]
Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: There - that should do it. Computer, what are the current power conversion levels?
Enterprise Computer: Power conversion levels are at 97.2%.
Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: Too bad, Mr. Kaplan!
[sniggers gleefully]

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"Star Trek: Voyager: Projections (#2.3)" (1995)

The Doctor: [studying Dr. Lewis Zimmerman's personal file] He looks a lot like me. In fact, he looks exactly like me. Computer, is this me?
Voyager Computer: Affirmative.

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"Star Trek: Voyager: The Omega Directive (#4.21)" (1998)

[first lines]
Voyager Computer: 0600 hours. Regeneration cycle complete.
Seven of Nine: Daily log, Seven of Nine, Stardate 15781.2 - Today, Ensign Kim and I will conduct a comprehensive diagnostic of the aft sensor array. I have allocated 3 hours 20 minutes for the task, and an additional 17 minutes for Ensign Kim's usual conversational digressions. I am scheduled to take a nutritional supplement at 1500 hours, engage in one hour of cardiovascular activity. Then I intend to review a text the Doctor recommended, entitled 'A Christmas Carol'. He believes it will have educational value. End log.

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"Star Trek: The Next Generation: All Good Things... (#7.25)" (1994)

Captain Jean-Luc Picard: [in the past timeline] Tea, Earl Grey, hot.
Enterprise Computer: That beverage has not been programmed into the replication system.

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"Star Trek: Voyager: Once Upon a Time (#5.5)" (1998)

Tom Paris: [recording his goodbye message] ... But hey, B'Elanna, look on the bright side - no more day-old pizza laying around. And you'll never have to watch another chapter of Captain Proton again.
Voyager Computer: [bleeps] Warning! Life support has fallen to critical levels.
Tom Paris: Don't mind the computer. She's just jealous that I'm spending my last few minutes talking to *you*. - So long.

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"Star Trek: Voyager: The Voyager Conspiracy (#6.9)" (1999)

[Janeway grabs a plate from the stove-top and burns her hands]
Computer Voice: [bleeps] Warning. Plate is hot.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: *Now* you tell me. Go for authenticity and what do you get? Second-degree burns.

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