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Quotes for
Lwaxana Troi (Character)
from "Star Trek: The Next Generation" (1987)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"Star Trek: The Next Generation: Cost of Living (#5.20)" (1992)
Lwaxana Troi: Alexander, my little warrior!

Lwaxana Troi: Every one of us has a thousand different kinds of, of little people inside of us. And some of them want to get out and be wild, and some want to be sad or happy or inventive or, or even just go dancing. Th-that's why we all have so many different urges at different times. And all those different little people inside of us... we must never be afraid to take them with us, wherever we go. I mean, who knows when we, we may need one of them to pop up and rescue us from ourselves?

Lwaxana Troi: Variety, my little Alex - the great secret is not the variety of life; it's the variety of us.

Lwaxana Troi: Life's true gift is the capacity to enjoy enjoyment.

Counselor Troi: Mother, I'm trying to help the boy learn the value of responsibility. You're not helping by giving him a lot of mixed messages.
Lwaxana Troi: I exposed you to all sorts of mixed messages when you were that age, you still turned out deadly dull. What are you so worried about?
Counselor Troi: Among other things, his relationship with his father.
Lwaxana Troi: Oh!
Counselor Troi: No more holodeck, Mother.
Lwaxana Troi: Oh...
Counselor Troi: Please. Anyway, why aren't you all absorbed in your wedding plans? It's only three days away.
Lwaxana Troi: I'm letting Mr. Homn handle all the mundane details. He knows my tastes.
Counselor Troi: Mother...
Lwaxana Troi: Deanna, there is absolutely nothing to do, you nosy little girl. Campio's already sent me his mother's wedding gown, which Mr. Homn is now altering for me. Outside of that, there really isn't anything else that I...
Counselor Troi: Wedding gown? Mother, stop. You're telling me you're not going to be naked at your own wedding?
Lwaxana Troi: Campio is from a different planet with different traditions. He would not approve of a traditional Betazoid wedding, so I am happily adapting. Now, it's as simple as that, and I need some tea.
Counselor Troi: I can't believe I'm hearing this from the heir to the Holy Rings of Betazed, holder of the Sacred Chalice of Rixx.
Lwaxana Troi: Oh! Oh, why can't I ever work this replicator?
Counselor Troi: Mother, I think it's time to talk about this mysterious marriage to a man you've never met.
Lwaxana Troi: Computer, some Jestral tea, please.
[turns from replicator to Deanna]
Lwaxana Troi: Oh, anyway, why shouldn't I get married if I choose to? You make everything into such a mystery. There is no mystery, Deanna,
[turns to get tea]
Lwaxana Troi: except about this Petrokian sausage. The tea - all I wanted was a cup of tea.
[takes sausage out of cup]
Lwaxana Troi: Oh, dear, I think you're replicator's having a nervous collapse. Oh...
[takes a drink of tea]

Lwaxana Troi: Deanna, I love you, but you do make everything sound like an epitaph.

Counselor Troi: Alexander, this is my mother.
Lwaxana Troi: Alexander? What a wonderful name! You know, I once knew a tall, handsome warrior named Alexander. Oh, he utterly adored me and we went everywhere - simply everywhere. Have you been anywhere yet - Contract? What contract?
Counselor Troi: Between father and son. A fair and balanced way to achieve a mutual sense of order.
Lwaxana Troi: [at Alexander] Well, how ghastly for you. And you are doing this to your own child, Mr. Woof?
Counselor Troi: Mother!
Lieutenant Worf: It is Worf, madam.
Lwaxana Troi: Contracts are usually between people who don't really trust one another. A child who is trusted becomes worthy of that trust.

Lwaxana Troi: My poor plodding little Deanna with her questions, questions, questions. Wherever did you inherit such pedestrian genes?

Lieutenant Worf: The boy is unreasonable.
Lwaxana Troi: Well, of course he's unreasonable, he's a child!

Lwaxana Troi: You know, making little boys reasonable only gives them pimples.

Lwaxana Troi: Now, if we're to be real friends, we've got to share only the truth.
Alexander Rozhenko: Why?
Lwaxana Troi: Well, for one thing, it's easier. When you tell the truth, you never have to remember later what you lied about.

Lwaxana Troi: [to Deanna] You poor dear, don't they ever let you change those colorless outfits?

Lwaxana Troi: I really wasn't in any trouble - until I saw this dress! Oohh... ugly, isn't it?
Alexander Rozhenko: What's it for?
Lwaxana Troi: I'm getting married.
Alexander Rozhenko: Why?
Lwaxana Troi: You sure my daughter didn't send you?
[he looks at her]
Lwaxana Troi: Oh, just a joke.

Lwaxana Troi: People get married because, um, because they want to spend their lives with someone.
Alexander Rozhenko: Their whole life? They must have to like that person a lot.
Lwaxana Troi: Well, if you're young and lucky, it'll be someone you like a lot, yes. And, uh, and if you're older...
Alexander Rozhenko: Are you very old?
Lwaxana Troi: [melancholic] Um... I'm alone, Alex. And, uh, when you do get older... and can no longer pick and choose from whatever may come your way... then you, uh... then you do what we call 'compromise'. Keeps you from being afraid.

Alexander Rozhenko: I'm supposed to do everything right all the time. I don't know how.
Lwaxana Troi: [sighs] To tell you the truth, little warrior... neither do I.

Alexander Rozhenko: [referring to two holo-characters] Why are they arguing?
Juggler: They're friends. They love contradiction. They, they thrive on challenge. They flourish in conflict.
Alexander Rozhenko: Then why are they friends?
Lwaxana Troi: Who else're you gonna fight with if not your friends?

Lwaxana Troi: I think your replicator's having a... a nervous collapse.

Lwaxana Troi: Isn't it wonderful how things worked out, Alexander? I wanted to teach you how to grab the joys of living; and you turned around and, uh... and taught me to not let go of them. How very mutual.

Lwaxana Troi: Alexander, now life's true gift is the capacity to enjoy enjoyment. Now, hmm! Have I arrived too late, or, uh, can you still smile?
[he smiles, she laughs]

Poet: Every moment requires a purpose.
Lwaxana Troi: [whispers to Alexander] No, it doesn't.
Poet: Every purpose requires a plan.
Juggler: He does this every day, usually while everyone's food is getting cold.
Juggler: It's rather boring.
Poet: The higher, the fewer
Lwaxana Troi: Well, that's a conversation stopper if I ever heard one.

Lwaxana Troi: So, my little warrior wants to see more out of life than just fighting, eh?
Lwaxana Troi: Oh, the mind opens, and in creeps wisdom.
[laughs and kisses Alexander's forehead]

"Star Trek: The Next Generation: Dark Page (#7.7)" (1993)
Lwaxana Troi: Aren't you going to mingle, Mr. Woof?
Lieutenant Worf: I do not care for telepaths; they make me... uneasy.
Lwaxana Troi: Oh, don't worry. The Cairn couldn't read your thoughts even if they wanted to. Your brain isn't sophisticated enough.
[Riker smirks gleefully]
Lwaxana Troi: Neither is yours, dear. They can only communicate with other telepaths.

[Lwaxana Troi explains to Picard the Cairn's form of telepathy, who transmit images rather than words]
Lwaxana Troi: Actually, it's a very efficient way of communicating. If two Cairn were having this conversation, it would have been over minutes ago!
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: [feigning interest] Really?

Lwaxana Troi: [crying] Every morning, she woke up with a smile.
Counselor Deanna Troi: Isn't it better to remember her like that? I just found out I had a sister I never knew. I'd like to learn what was good and joyous about her - to celebrate her life, not mourn it.
Lwaxana Troi: [crying] How? How can I do that?
Counselor Deanna Troi: Kestra was here a few moments ago. Talk to her.
Lwaxana Troi: [scared] No. No.

[last lines]
Lwaxana Troi: [looking at picture of Ian, Kestra, and Deanna; sadly] I remember the day I took this.
Counselor Deanna Troi: Mr. Homn said he saved it, in case someday you wanted to remember her.
Lwaxana Troi: [sighs; referring to Kestra] I wish you could have known her, Deanna. I wish you two could've grown up together.
Counselor Deanna Troi: Tell me about her. I want to know everything.
[they hug]

Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: [to Hedril] It's called a visor. It enables me to see.
Hedril: Like my vocal enhancer. It helps me make sounds.
Lwaxana Troi: I see you've already met my star pupil. Hedril's picked up spoken language much faster than the others.
Lt. Commander Data: It is often the case that children learn languages more easily than adults.
Lwaxana Troi: Deanna was quite good at languages when she was little. Uh, where is Deanna?
Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: Well, she must be here somewhere.
Lwaxana Troi: Hedril, darling...?
[Makes strange face]
Hedril: What?
Lwaxana Troi: Um, go find your father, dear. I want to talk to him.
[Puts hand to head]
Lt. Commander Data: Mrs. Troi?
Lwaxana Troi: Oh, I'm just a little tired. Heh. This constant telepathy with the Cairn... um... no, I'm... I'm fine, really.

Counselor Deanna Troi: Milton was speculating that in heaven, roses wouldn't have thorns.
Hedril: Heaven?
Counselor Deanna Troi: Oh. Oh, uh, heaven is, well, it's um... how can I put it?
Maques: [after Lwaxana explains telepathically] Yes, I see. Thank you. "Heaven."
Counselor Deanna Troi: Mother, you're supposed to be avoiding telepathy.
Lwaxana Troi: I'm only trying to help, dear.
Counselor Deanna Troi: You don't look well.
Lwaxana Troi: I'm just tired. Maybe I'll sit down.
[Sits and watches Hedril play]

Counselor Deanna Troi: Mother, don't start.
Lwaxana Troi: I just think it's time for you to settle down, and if your father were still alive, I'm sure he'd say the same thing.
[They enter a turbolift; a crewman is there]
Counselor Deanna Troi: Deck eight.
Lwaxana Troi: [Telepathically] But, you 'll do exactly what you want... just like always.
Counselor Deanna Troi: [Speaking] Mother, stop it.
[They get a look from the crewman; Mrs. Troi puts her head in her hand as Deanna exits the turbolift]
Counselor Deanna Troi: Are you coming?
[Gets here mother]
Counselor Deanna Troi: What's wrong?
Lwaxana Troi: [sighs] You are so precious to me. You're all I've got.
[Hugs Deanna]
Lwaxana Troi: If something were to happen to you, I don't know what I'd do.
Counselor Deanna Troi: Nothing's going to happen to me.

Counselor Deanna Troi: [about Lwaxana] I was all set for another round of arguing when all of a sudden, she just fell apart.
Commander William T. Riker: She's under a lot of stress. She's preparing the Cairn to meet with the Federation Council.
Counselor Deanna Troi: It's more than that. I'm sensing some very erratic emotions from her. Even the clothes she's wearing are unusual. They're so subdued.
Commander William T. Riker: [takes Deanna's wrist] Maybe you just need sit and talk with her for a minute.
Lwaxana Troi: Commander! Take your hands off her!
[Takes his hand off Deanna]
Commander William T. Riker: [Surprised] Mrs. Troi...
Lwaxana Troi: Don't you "Mrs. Troi" me!
Counselor Deanna Troi: Mother!
Lwaxana Troi: Why don't you leave her alone? If it weren't for you, she'd be married by now!
Counselor Deanna Troi: That's enough!
Lwaxana Troi: Now, I am warning you - stay away from my daughter!
Counselor Deanna Troi: You're coming with me.

Lwaxana Troi: Oh, I don't know what got into me. Ohh... please, tell Will how sorry I am.
Dr. Beverly Crusher: You're fine, but you're psilosynine levels are a little low.
Lwaxana Troi: Psilo... wha - hmm?
Counselor Deanna Troi: It's a neurotransmitter involved in telepathy.

Lwaxana Troi: [begging] Go.
Counselor Deanna Troi: Mother?
Lwaxana Troi: [begging] Go away.
Counselor Deanna Troi: No. I want to help you. Why did you delete parts of your journal? Did something happen to you you don't want me to know about?
Lwaxana Troi: [begging] Leave me alone, please.
Counselor Deanna Troi: Who's Hedril, Mother? Why is she here? Is Hedril me, when I was a little girl?
Lwaxana Troi: [miserably] No. Oh, no. I'd never let anything happen to you. Never.
Counselor Deanna Troi: Did you let something happen to someone?

Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Counselor, can you hear me?
Counselor Deanna Troi: [looking around] Captain?
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Deanna, Dr. Crusher has become concerned that your paracortical readings have become erratic.
Counselor Deanna Troi: Are you talking to me from Sick Bay?
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Yes. I want you to sever your connection to your mother.
Counselor Deanna Troi: Why don't you ask Maques to do it?
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: I'm asking you. That is an order, Counselor.
Counselor Deanna Troi: You're not Captain Picard.
Lwaxana Troi: [through Picard; begging] Leave me alone, please.
[Deanna leaves]

Counselor Deanna Troi: Mother.

Counselor Deanna Troi: What happened, Mother? What happened next?
Lwaxana Troi: [crying] I don't remember.
Counselor Deanna Troi: You have to. You can't hold it back. It's killing you.

Counselor Deanna Troi: [Telepathically] Mother? Can you hear me? Please come back to me. Please.
Lwaxana Troi: [Weakly] Help me...
Counselor Deanna Troi: Mother?
Lwaxana Troi: Help... me.
Counselor Deanna Troi: How? How can I help you?
Counselor Deanna Troi: Tell me, Mother. Please.

Counselor Deanna Troi: You have to let it go.
Lwaxana Troi: [sobbing] How can I? I let her die!

Hedril: [as Kestra trying to put a leash on a dog] Help me. Help me, Papa.
Cmdr. Ian Andrew Troi: Here.
Lwaxana Troi: [in background; begging] Please, don't make me go through this again.
Cmdr. Ian Andrew Troi: Now hold on to him. Don't let him run off.
Hedril: I will. Mommy, can we go play by the water?
Lwaxana Troi: [from background] No, Kestra, stay here with us.
Hedril: Please.

Kestra Troi: Mommy.
Lwaxana Troi: Kestra. Oh, Kestra. My precious one. I'm so sorry.
[they hug; Lwaxana sobs]
Kestra Troi: I have to go now.
Lwaxana Troi: [crying] I know. I know.
[Kestra fades away; Lwaxana takes Deanna's hand]

"Star Trek: The Next Generation: Half a Life (#4.22)" (1991)
Dara: Father, come home. This is wrong.
Dr. Timicin: Dara, if I could show you the work I have begun. There's still so much for me to do.
Dara: There is nothing for me to look at. It is irrelevant.
Lwaxana Troi: Your father's work may save your world, my dear. I would hardly consider that irrelevant.
Dara: [ignoring her] All I'm concerned with now is you, not your work. Your work is over. It is your time to rest.
Lwaxana Troi: Perhaps you will feel differently as you get a little older - say approaching sixty.
Dara: My father taught me to cherish the Resolution. I don't know how you have poisoned him to reject it.
Lwaxana Troi: It's an obscene ritual.
Dara: How dare you? How dare you criticize my way of life and my beliefs?
Dr. Timicin: Please. Please, Dara. Please.
Dara: Where will you go?
Dr. Timicin: [sighs] I don't know.
Dara: And where will you die? I cannot bear the thought of you being laid to rest on some other world. That you will not lie beside my mother. That I will not be able to lie beside you when my Resolution comes. I'm sorry. I don't know how you can... go on with your life knowing that each day is an insult to everything we believe in. Father, I love you. But I am ashamed.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Uh, Dr. Timicin, allow me to present Lwaxana Troi of Betazed. She's also a guest on board...
Lwaxana Troi: And daughter of the Fifth House, Holder of the Sacred Chalice of Rixx, Heir of the Holy Rings of Betazed, and what are you doing for dinner?
Dr. Timicin: [looks quizzically at Picard] Well, I... don't know, really...
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Er, Lwaxana, we have quite a bit of work planned...
Lwaxana Troi: Well, the man's never been on board a starship before, Jean-Luc. Certainly, somebody ought to make him comfortable before you get started.
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Well, it seems that Mrs. Troi is our acting ambassador of goodwill for today.
Lwaxana Troi: You just think of me as your entertainment director.
[the three leave the transporter room]
Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: [to O'Brien] That man's in a lot of trouble.

Lwaxana Troi: Mr. Homn is my valet. He doesn't say much.
Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: [under his breath] How can he?

Lwaxana Troi: I adore diplomacy. Everyone dresses so well!

Lwaxana Troi: Jean-Luc, you delicious man...!

Dr. Timicin: The Resolution is a celebration of life. It allows us to end our lives with dignity.
Lwaxana Troi: Ah, a celebration of life. Sounds very noble, very caring. What you're really saying is, you got rid of the problem by getting rid of the people.

[Lwaxana orders a dish from the replicator]
Dr. Timicin: What's that?
Lwaxana Troi: Oskoids, a Betazed delicacy.
Dr. Timicin: Looks very interesting.
Lwaxana Troi: Should've tried it while you were still alive; no reason to bother now.

[Lwaxana demands from O'Brien to be beamed to the planet, without success]
Lwaxana Troi: I am a Betazoid ambassador, I'm a daughter of the Fifth House, and those people are going to answer to me! So you-you just energize this damned thing and get me down there!
Counselor Deanna Troi: He can't, Mother. He has his orders.
Lwaxana Troi: His orders don't apply to *me*!
Counselor Deanna Troi: No - they apply to him.

Lwaxana Troi: My life has been full.
Lwaxana Troi: Now and then, perhaps it's overflowed a little.

Dr. Timicin: I will say it again. You are a kind woman.
Lwaxana Troi: No, no, I'm a hateful woman. I hate what you're going to do; and I hate you for doing it.

Lwaxana Troi: Your planet has what, thirty, forty years left? What if your scientists can't find the answer without you? What then? What chance do you think your grandson has of reaching the age of sixty?
Dr. Timicin: Enough, please! It is my time, Lwaxana. And that is the way it is.
Lwaxana Troi: Well, if that's the way it is, I don't know why anyone's bothering to try to save your planet at all. If its time has come, let it die. Where is the difference, Timicin? Where?

Dr. Timicin: Fifteen to twenty centuries ago, we had no Resolution. We had no such concern for our elders. As people aged, they... their health failed. They became invalids. And those whose families could no longer care for them were put away, into... deathwatch facilities, where they waited in loneliness for the end to come, sometimes... for years. They had meant something; and they were forced to live beyond that, into a time of meaning nothing. Of knowing that they could now only be the beneficiaries of younger people's patience. We are no longer that cruel, Lwaxana.
Lwaxana Troi: No, no, you're not cruel to them, you just kill them.

Lwaxana Troi: The women of Betazed used to wear these enormous wigs with large holes in the center for tiny caged creatures.
Dr. Timicin: Yes?
Lwaxana Troi: First, it was a fashion. Then it went on long enough to become a custom, a tradition. But it was uncomfortable for the woman and cruel to the animal. So, then, one day, one very formidable woman finally said so, refused to ever wear another of those wigs. Fairly soon, the custom stopped. She had the courage to stand up and fight for change.
Dr. Timicin: She must have been a lot like you.

[Dr. Timicin is about to return to his planet, when Lwaxana Troi enters the transporter room]
Lwaxana Troi: It is the custom for your loved ones to join you at this... Resolution, is it not?
Dr. Timicin: You do not have to do this.
Lwaxana Troi: Yes, I do.

[last lines]
Lwaxana Troi: [On the transporter pad, holding hands with Timicin] We are ready, Mister O'Brien.

Lwaxana Troi: Mr. Homm... spread it!

Lieutenant Worf: Mrs. Troi... I must protest your unauthorized presence on the bridge!
Lwaxana Troi: [pointing to tactical console] What does that little one do Mr. Woof?
Lieutenant Worf: Please Madame! That's is a torpedo launch initiator and it's - it is Worf madame, not Woof.

"Star Trek: The Next Generation: Ménage à Troi (#3.24)" (1990)
Lwaxana Troi: [arguing with Deanna about getting married] You had your chance with Commander Riker. Look how you ruined that.
Counselor Deanna Troi: I did not ruin anything! We've become very good friends.
Lwaxana Troi: Well, all the better; you certainly wouldn't wanna marry an enemy.

Lwaxana Troi: You've got to enjoy life, relax, like I do. Find yourself the right man. Think of your future. Hm - think of *my* future.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard: [playing the role of Lwaxana's fanatic lover] My love... is a fever, longing still, For that which longer nurseth the disease.
Lwaxana Troi: Tell me more.
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: In faith, I do not love thee with mine eyes, For they in thee a thousand errors see; But 'tis my heart that loves what they despise, Who, in despite of view, are pleased to dote. Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate.

Lwaxana Troi: I have a new love, Jean-Luc. And you can't keep killing all my lovers. Now, that simply has to stop.
DaiMon Tog: [alarmed] Killing?
Lwaxana Troi: Oh, he's insanely jealous.

DaiMon Tog: Lwaxana Troi, I desire you.
Lwaxana Troi: What?
DaiMon Tog: You see, your Betazoid skills would be very useful to me, and I find you very attractive. I am willing to pay handsomely for you.
Lwaxana Troi: I don't believe this.
DaiMon Tog: You must be aware that every female has her price.
Lwaxana Troi: Let's get one thing straight, little man. I am not for sale. And if, by some chance, I were to become available, I would rather eat Orion wing-slugs than deal with a toad-faced TROLL like you! So go away and find yourself somebody else to become your property!

Lwaxana Troi: Now, look, Demon Tog, or whatever you call yourself...

Lwaxana Troi: Can you imagine that dreadful little creature talking to me like that? Doesn't he realize that I am the daughter of the Fifth House of Betazed? Holder of the Sacred Chalice of Rixx?
Counselor Deanna Troi: The Sacred Chalice of Rixx is an old clay pot with mold growing inside it.
Lwaxana Troi: Oh, well, perhaps one day, when you're older and wiser, you'll understand.

Lwaxana Troi: Oh! I should have known. Even their transporters can't be trusted.
[after the Ferengi have beamed her and Deanna out of their clothes]

Lwaxana Troi: I-I must admit, when you, uh, first approached me aboard the Enterprise, I was...
[clears her throat in disgust]
Lwaxana Troi: ...intrigued.
DaiMon Tog: You mean revolted.
Lwaxana Troi: Perhaps a little.

Lwaxana Troi: If Tog were a kitten, he'd be purring.

[Picard has rescued Lwaxana from DaiMon Tog]
Lwaxana Troi: Thank you, Jean-Luc. You were most convincing. You certainly convinced me.
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: I am truly grateful, Mrs. Troi, that you risked your life to save my people. I'll have you home in a few hours.
Lwaxana Troi: Oh, no, no, no, no, that won't be necessary. I'd just love to hear more of your poetry.
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: [disentangling himself from Lwaxana] Uhh... Perhaps another time. Please.
[offers her his chair, then walks up to Wesley at the helm]
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Mr. Crusher, set course for Betazed.
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: [low voice] Warp nine.

Counselor Deanna Troi: I'm sorry, and I didn't mean to get so upset with you at the reception.
Lwaxana Troi: Oh, no. Deanna, try to understand. You're all I have. My only concern is for your happiness.
Counselor Deanna Troi: I am happy. Why can't you believe that?
Lwaxana Troi: Oh, I wish I could, but how much happiness is there in always being there for someone else and never being there for yourself?

Lwaxana Troi: All right, in case I have to spell it out for you, I am talking about finding a husband, having a child. That's what made me happy. At least, until now.

Commander William T. Riker: DaiMon Tog, I thought the Krayton left orbit hours ago.
DaiMon Tog: It did. But when I tried to get the image of Lwaxana Troi out of mind, I could not succeed.
[gives Lwaxana flowers]
Lwaxana Troi: [takes them and tosses them over her shoulder] This is ludicrous. You mean, you came all the way back to Betazed for me?

Lwaxana Troi: Do you forgive me?
DaiMon Tog: Yes, but with your powers, we could be a formidable team.
[begins lowering her sleeve]
Lwaxana Troi: [quickly grabs his hand feigning attraction] My, you have great strength in your hands.
DaiMon Tog: And you like that?
Lwaxana Troi: [sighs] I've always admired strong males.
DaiMon Tog: You are beautiful. It is impossible for me to resist you.
Lwaxana Troi: Then, uh...
[clears throat]
Lwaxana Troi: ... don't.
[they awkwardly kiss; cuts to Deanna grimacing in disgust]

Lwaxana Troi: My, my, what, uh, big ears you have
[starts rubbing his ears]
Lwaxana Troi: . Has anyone ever told you how attractive they are?
[rolls eyes]
DaiMon Tog: Some females think they are my best feature.
[she looks at him quizzically]
DaiMon Tog: No one has ever given me oo-mox like this before.
Lwaxana Troi: Oo-mox?
DaiMon Tog: There's no translation, but the ear is one of our most erogenous zones.
[she becomes alarmed; he doesn't notice]

"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: The Forsaken (#1.16)" (1993)
[Lwaxana Troi has lost her latinum hair brooch and is accusing Quark of theft, grabbing his ears]
Lwaxana Troi: You are dealing with the daughter of the Fifth House, Holder of the Sacred Chalice of Rixx and the Holy Rings of Betazed!
Quark: Ow, not my ear, please!
Lwaxana Troi: Yes, and I know where it hurts the most, you little troll! Now I want this room sealed, and I want everyone in it strip-searched until you find my brooch!

Odo: What seems to be the problem?
Lwaxana Troi: Well, my brooch has been stolen. It's been in my family for 36 generations, it's absolutely priceless and I want it back!
Odo: You're certain you were wearing it today?
Lwaxana Troi: Yes, of course I'm certain. I never use this hair without it.

Odo: You're Betazoid?
Lwaxana Troi: Of course.
Odo: Telepathic?
Lwaxana Troi: Yes.
Odo: And you sense no guilt anywhere in this room?
[Lwaxana Troi sighs and "scans" the room with her mind, then eyes Quark suspiciously]
Lwaxana Troi: No. But Betazoids cannot read Ferengis.
Odo: Quark has plenty of reason to feel guilty, but he usually doesn't have to resort to petty theft to fleece his clients.
Quark: Thank you.

Lwaxana Troi: Is Odo your first or last name?
Odo: Yes.

Odo: What can I do for you? You haven't lost anything else, I hope?
Lwaxana Troi: Only my heart.

Lwaxana Troi: Then I can just call you...?
Odo: Odo.
Lwaxana Troi: It has a certain lyrical quality.
Odo: Lyrical?
Lwaxana Troi: Odo... it rolls off the tongue.
Odo: Uh, I have a lot of work to do.
Lwaxana Troi: I understand you're a shapeshifter.
Odo: That's correct.
Lwaxana Troi: I've never been with a shapeshifter.
Odo: [nervously] "Been with?"
Lwaxana Troi: I've heard that you're the only one of your kind.
Odo: So far.
Lwaxana Troi: Mm. All the men I've known have needed to be shaped and molded and manipulated, and finally I've met a man who knows how to do it himself.
[leans in towards him]
Odo: Oh... is that the com? I think it is. Excuse me. I've got to get to ops.

Lwaxana Troi: [to Odo] On this station, you are the thin beige line between order and chaos.

[Lwaxana Troi has suggested to Odo to have a picnic on one of the upper pylons]
Odo: [peevish] I don't eat! This is not a real mouth. It is an approximation of one. I do not have an esophagus or a stomach or a digestive system. I am not like you. Every sixteen hours I turn into a liquid.
Lwaxana Troi: [shrugs] I can swim.

Odo: [about his past] What was it like, huh? I guess you could say I was - huh - the life of the party.
Lwaxana Troi: I... don't think I understand.
Odo: My way of trying to fit in. I found I could be entertaining. "Odo, be a chair" - I'm a chair; "Odo, be a razorcat" - I'm a razorcat. Life of the party!
[he chuckles sarcastically]
Odo: I *hate* parties.
Lwaxana Troi: Maybe you've just been to the wrong ones. Come to one of mine, I'll make sure that all the guests are there to entertain you.

[Lwaxana Troi has taken off her wig]
Lwaxana Troi: No one's ever seen me like this.
Odo: Why? It looks fine.
Lwaxana Troi: It looks ordinary. I've never cared to be ordinary. So you see, Odo, even we non-shapeshifters have to change who we are once in a while.
Odo: You are not at all what I expected.
Lwaxana Troi: No one's ever paid me a greater compliment.

[Odo and Lwaxana Troi have been trapped in a turbolift]
Odo: I... know that wasn't exactly what you had in mind for your picnic.
Lwaxana Troi: When it comes to picnics, the only thing that really matters is the company.

Odo: I'd really rather prefer to pass the time quietly.
Lwaxana Troi: Quietly.
Odo: Quietly.
Lwaxana Troi: Of course.
Odo: Thank you.
Lwaxana Troi: [sighs] The Quiet Man.
Odo: Mmm.
Lwaxana Troi: You know, I've always been attracted to quiet men. Odd, isn't it? But maybe there's more truth than we realize to that old axiom that -
[Odo glares at her]
Lwaxana Troi: - Quietly.
[sighs and sits on floor]
Lwaxana Troi: Odo.
Odo: [Somewhat annoyed] Yes?
Lwaxana Troi: I don't think I can.
Odo: Can what?
Lwaxana Troi: Well, you don't have to say another word as long as we're here, but, I, I think I really need to talk.
Odo: I understand.
[Sits down next to her]
Odo: There's nothing to be afraid of.
Lwaxana Troi: Of course not.
Lwaxana Troi: No, things could be much worse.
Odo: [Sarcastically] Really?
Lwaxana Troi: [sighs] My daughter and I were once trapped aboard a Ferengi cargo ship, and it was dreadful. Well, all right, it wasn't actually dreadful. It was mildly lamentable, and it was all because of that loathsome DaiMon. Well, actually he wasn't altogether loathsome. He was just slightly repulsive. But he did have a certain charm, in an insufferable kind of way. Of course, he was totally at the mercy of his uncontrollable passion for me, which means he wasn't ALL bad, now, doesn't it? You know it wasn't all passion.
[Odo begins looking at the wall of the lift]
Lwaxana Troi: There was some negligible commercial interest involved. But, oh, the passion, oh, that was perfectly real, and kind of, um, kind of sweet in a way. He was so helpless. At first it was totally a question of expediency when I made love with him. But, um, what are you looking at?
Odo: Hmm? Oh, uh, nothing. I was just wondering how many volts are in that exposed circuit. Go on. Go on.
Lwaxana Troi: Well, frankly, by the time one thing led to another...
[he rolls his eyes]

Odo: Your sensitivity and discretion are appreciated.
Lwaxana Troi: Well, next time you see me, I'll give you a lot more to appreciate.

"Star Trek: The Next Generation: Manhunt (#2.19)" (1989)
Commander William T. Riker: I'm sorry they startled you, Mrs. Troi. They're Antedean delegates; they're being stored here temporarily.
Lwaxana Troi: Delegates? Last time I saw something like that it was being served on a plate.

Lwaxana Troi: You never assume anything where Lwaxana Troi is concerned. Betazoid women are full of surprises.

Counselor Troi: What are we going to do?
Lwaxana Troi: Well, I'm going to do the only honorable thing there is to do. And I'd say your Captain has the inside track.

Counselor Troi: You're scheming something, Mother. Don't try to fool me, I can tell.
Lwaxana Troi: You're always so melodramatic, Little One. I'm not scheming. I'm deciding.

[Lwaxana Troi is beamed aboard in a kneeling position]
Lwaxana Troi: [looking down] Legs! Where are the legs?
Counselor Troi: Where they belong, Mother - right under you.

[Lwaxana Troi has decided to marry Rex]
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Mrs. Troi, there is something you ought to know about Rex.
Lwaxana Troi: Oh?

Lwaxana Troi: Oh, Jean-Luc! What naughty thoughts! But how wonderful you still think of me like that.

Lwaxana Troi: Now, that's more like it. Your thoughts, they're primal, savage. I like that in a man.
Lieutenant Worf: I am not a man!

Lwaxana Troi: [telepathically, of Riker] Is he still yours?
Counselor Troi: [telepathically] Humans no longer own each other that way, Mother.
Lwaxana Troi: Really? That's a custom we may have to introduce again.

Lwaxana Troi: [of the Antedeans] I still say they look better in sauce.

Lieutenant Worf: Captain, we are being hailed by a small transport vessel just coming into range.
Counselor Troi: [horrified] Oh, my god.
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: What's the problem?
Counselor Troi: What's she doing here?
Wesley Crusher: On screen, captain.
Transporter Pilot: Starship Enterprise, come in.
Commander William T. Riker: We have you on viewer, pilot.
Transporter Pilot: Enterprise, I have a passenger, a VIP passenger who I more...
Lwaxana Troi: [shoving the pilot aside] Oh, let me talk to them. I'm sure I'm more articulate than that.
Counselor Troi: Mother.

Counselor Troi: What stage is it in?
Lwaxana Troi: Oh, I have it completely under control.
Counselor Troi: What stage is it in?
Lwaxana Troi: Well, far enough along for me to enjoy it, little one.
Counselor Troi: Now I know why you wore that dress.
Lwaxana Troi: Wha-? Don't be ridiculous. This simple little dress? Nothing provocative about it.
Counselor Troi: What are we going to do?
Lwaxana Troi: Well, I'm going to do the only honorable thing there is to do. And I'd say your captain has the inside track.
Counselor Troi: Mother, don't even think it.
Lwaxana Troi: Why not? He was thinking about it all through dinner.
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: [Lwaxana walks off. Deanna sighs and follows. Cut to minutes later in Picard's ready room] I was what? I tell you, Deanna, for a telepath, your mother's accuracy leaves much to be desired.

"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: The Muse (#4.20)" (1996)
Lwaxana Troi: Someone once said: "Life is a search to find the peace you once had when you were safe inside your mother".
Odo: I didn't have a mother.
Lwaxana Troi: [long sigh] Don't worry, it's all right. You'll find your peace... just the same.

[a rather glum and depressed group is sitting around Lwaxana Troi]
Lwaxana Troi: Odo! Won't you join the party?
Odo: Actually, I have some free time, and I was... wondering if you wanted to take a walk.
Lt. Commander Worf: [apathetic] I would.

Odo: How are you feeling now?
Lwaxana Troi: Like a Changeling who's had to hold his shape too long.
Odo: Ah. Well, I, uh... I think I know how that feels.

Lwaxana Troi: Camelot. Love betrayed. Dreams... shattered.

Lwaxana Troi: May I ask you something, Odo? Are you over her? Don't worry - I'm not going to throw myself at you if you say yes.

Lwaxana Troi: Don't go do what I did. Look for someone to fix your broken heart, then end up pregnant and on the run.
Odo: I... don't think there's much danger of that happening.

[Odo has proposed to Lwaxana to marry him in a Tavnian ceremony]
Lwaxana Troi: In a Tavnian wedding, the groom must stand before the bride and tell her why he wants to marry her. And then, in front of his family and friends, he must proclaim his love for her and convince her to accept him as her husband.
Odo: Well, I trust I can count on you to accept me even if I just stand there and read last week's criminal activity report.

Lwaxana Troi: You're such a dear, sweet man.

Lwaxana Troi: I can't help it, I'm still in love with you. And as much as I wish that you were in love with me, I know you're not.

Lwaxana Troi: Goodbye, husband.
Odo: Goodbye... wife.

"Star Trek: The Next Generation: Haven (#1.10)" (1987)
Lwaxana Troi: I am Lwaxana Troi, daughter of the Fifth House, Holder of the Sacred Chalice of Rixx, Heir to the Holy Rings of Betazed. Who are you?

Lwaxana Troi: No, no, no, don't tell me: you're the Captain!
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Of course, your daughter has explained your telepathic abilities.
Lwaxana Troi: No, that wasn't telepathy, it was just common sense. Who else would they send to greet me but the Captain?

Lwaxana Troi: The matter is settled. Mr. Homn will conduct the joining.
Steven Miller: But Comm... But Homn can't even talk!
Lwaxana Troi: No matter, he is highly adept in the art of sign language.

Lwaxana Troi: You've been slack, little one - allowed your mental powers to rust.
Counselor Troi: Only to avoid confusion, Mother. Humans constantly think one thing and say another.
Lwaxana Troi: Yes, they do, don't they?

Lwaxana Troi: You realize of course that with Betazoids, our ability to read the thoughts of others does see us grow much faster than the typical, plodding Human.

Counselor Troi: Whatever happened to Mr. Xelo?
Lwaxana Troi: Oh, I was forced to terminate his employment. Xelo was strongly attracted to me; his thoughts became truly pornographic!

Wyatt Miller: Mrs. Troi, can I talk to you about something serious?
Lwaxana Troi: But I'm always serious, dear boy. Only my pleasant nature makes it appear otherwise.

Lwaxana Troi: Wyatt, tell me something seriously: which of these would look best on me naked?

Lwaxana Troi: [about to leave the Enterprise] Captain! Even Xelo never had such thoughts about me. You may energize.
[she is beamed away]
Counselor Troi: That was meant as a joke, Captain.
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: I was not amused.

"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Fascination (#3.10)" (1994)
[Odo is briefing a Starfleet security officer when Lwaxana Troi enters his office]
Lwaxana Troi: [to the security officer] Didn't they teach you any manners in Starfleet Academy? Be a dear, run along. The Constable and I have a lot of catching up to do.
Odo: [also to the officer] Uh, come back in five minutes.
Lwaxana Troi: Make that half an hour.

Lwaxana Troi: I'm here to help you.
Odo: What kind of help do you mean?
Lwaxana Troi: Oh... well, a sympathetic ear, a shoulder to cry on - a lap to melt in...

Lwaxana Troi: Why do I find stubborn men so attractive?

Lwaxana Troi: Dance with me, Odo.
Odo: I'm sorry. I don't dance.
Lwaxana Troi: Nonsense. I saw you moving to the music.
Odo: That wasn't dancing. That was... swaying.
Lwaxana Troi: Oh, then sway with me, Odo. Sway with me.
Odo: I just remembered, I'm needed in security.
Lwaxana Troi: I'll come with you.

Commander Sisko: [to Chief O'Brien about Quark] Easy, Chief. He doesn't know what he's doing.
[points to Lwaxana, they all look at her]
Lwaxana Troi: What are you looking at me for?
[Cuts to sickbay]
Lwaxana Troi: Zanthi Fever? Oh, that's ridiculous. That's impossible. That only affects older Betazoids.
Doctor Bashir: That may be, but according to my tests, you show all the symptoms. Zanthi Fever is a virus which affects the empathic abilities of, uh, mature Betazoids. It causes them to project their emotions onto others.
Commander Sisko: Then Mrs. Troi's amorous feelings for... someone on the station were being passed along to the people around her?
Doctor Bashir: Not everyone. Only those within close proximity to her when she had an attack, and even then, they would've had to have been with some preexisting latent attraction.
Commander Sisko: You're saying Dax...?
Doctor Bashir: Only on a subconscious level. Best not to think about it too much if you ask me.
Lwaxana Troi: I am terribly sorry, Commander. I hope I haven't caused too much trouble.

Lwaxana Troi: [laughing] This is one Gratitude Festival they'll be talking about for a long time.
Odo: I know I'll never forget it.
Lwaxana Troi: I hope everything works out for you, Odo, with Major Kira.
Odo: I... don't know what you mean.
Lwaxana Troi: Oh, don't worry. Your secret's safe with me. After all, I know what it's like to be attracted to someone who doesn't necessarily feel the same way.
Lwaxana Troi: If you get tired if waiting for her...
[kisses him]
Lwaxana Troi: ... you know where to find me.
Odo: I'll keep that in mind.