Chief O'Brien
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Quotes for
Chief O'Brien (Character)
from "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine" (1993)

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"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Whispers (#2.14)" (1994)
[Dr. Bashir is carrying out a physical check-up on O'Brien]
Chief O'Brien: Are you nearly finished? I believe you've poked into every orifice in my body - and created a few new ones!

Chief O'Brien: Look, if you're determined to keep me here until you find something wrong with me, I'll see if I can't grow you a hangnail.
Doctor Bashir: Eye problems? Hearing? Headaches?
Chief O'Brien: Headache! There you go. In fact, I'm getting a very bad one right now!
Doctor Bashir: Short temper - flies off the handle under the slightest provocation. Perfectly normal behavior.
Chief O'Brien: Ah, I'm glad you're enjoying this.
Doctor Bashir: Sorry. I know how you feel about doctors.
Chief O'Brien: It's not doctors I have a problem with, it's
Chief O'Brien, Doctor Bashir: you, Julian!

Chief O'Brien: [voiceover] All I could think of, as I looked at her, was that this was not my Keiko.

Chief O'Brien: [voiceover] They'd even broken into my personal logs to see what they could find in there... I hope they enjoyed reading the sexy letters to my wife.

Doctor Bashir: Well, your sense of humor seems normal enough.
Chief O'Brien: I don't have a sense of humor.
Doctor Bashir: Cough.
[O'Brien coughs]
Doctor Bashir: How's the sex life?
Chief O'Brien: I don't *have* a sense of humor.
Doctor Bashir: Cough!
[O'Brien coughs]
Doctor Bashir: Everything all right in that department?
Chief O'Brien: That department is none of Starfleet's business, or yours.

Chief O'Brien: [voiceover] I mean, the way they were acting, they might have been trying to pull off one of those surprise parties that I can't stand. Only, my birthday's not until September; and believe me, as it turned out, I had nothing else to celebrate.

Chief O'Brien: Coffee, Jamaican blend, double strong, double sweet.

Quark: So, er... tell me about the Paradas. They're gonna be here when, tomorrow?
Chief O'Brien: Why do you want to know anything about the Paradas?
Quark: It's always good business to know about new customers *before* they walk in your door.
Chief O'Brien: Hm. And which Rule of Acquisition is that?
Quark: [chuckles] Oh, one of the high numbers - 194, I think.

Chief O'Brien: Well, there was one thing I noticed. Oh, I don't know if it means anything or not, but the Paradas have an odor - from some kind of skin excretions, I'd guess. It changes with their moods. When they're upset, it can get pretty strong, actually.
Commander Sisko: Hm... Then I'll try not to get them upset.

Chief O'Brien: [after replicating a coffee] You're drinking too much of this stuff, O'Brien... Anything to stay alert, O'Brien.

Chief O'Brien: I worked on the pylon controls the better part of the day. Needle in a haystack wouldn't do this job justice.

Chief O'Brien: [voiceover] I like to think I'm a man with many talents. But waiting isn't one of them.

Chief O'Brien: Where did I go? Now you see me, now you don't. What's it gonna be, fellas? I can play hide-and-seek with the best of them.

[last lines]
Chief O'Brien Replicant: Keiko...
Chief O'Brien: What about her?
Chief O'Brien Replicant: Tell her... I love...
[collapses]

Doctor Bashir: [Bashir is trying to expose O'Brien as a Replicant under the pretence of a medical examination] Any dizziness... oversleeping... lack of energy... euphoria?
Chief O'Brien Replicant: Yes. All of them. Especially euphoria. Lots of euphoria.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Hard Time (#4.18)" (1996)
[Chief O'Brien is holding a phaser under his chin, preparing to commit suicide]
Dr. Julian Bashir: Chief?
Chief Miles Edward O'Brien: Get outta here, Julian.
Dr. Julian Bashir: You don't want to do this, Chief.
Chief Miles Edward O'Brien: The hell I don't.
Dr. Julian Bashir: Look, I don't claim to know what you're going through, but whatever it is, it's not worth dying for.
Chief Miles Edward O'Brien: You don't understand at all. I'm not doing this for me. I'm doing it to protect Keiko and Molly and everyone else on this station.
Dr. Julian Bashir: Protect us from what?
Chief Miles Edward O'Brien: From me. I'm not the man I used to be. I'm dangerous. I nearly hit Molly today. All she wanted was a little attention, and I nearly hit her.
[He begins to sob]
Dr. Julian Bashir: But you didn't. You're a good man, Miles Edward O'Brien, and whatever it is you think you've done wrong, you don't deserve to die.

Major Kira: What you think you experienced in prison, the things you remember, didn't happen... It wasn't real.
Chief Miles Edward O'Brien: It's real to me, Major... It's real to me.

Ee'char: My name is Ee'char.
Chief Miles Edward O'Brien: Miles. Miles O'Brien.
Ee'char: Hello, Miles. Welcome to hell.

[Kira returns with O'Brien from the Gamma Quadrant]
Chief Miles Edward O'Brien: I used to dream about this - being in a runabout, coming through the wormhole, seeing the station again. Now I keep expecting to wake up and find myself back in the cell.
Major Kira: Being in your cell was a dream. *This* is the reality.

Chief Miles Edward O'Brien: I'm home, I'm working. And for the first time in as long as I can remember, I feel good.
Ee'char: Then why am I here?

Chief Miles Edward O'Brien: You're not real - you're just in my head.
Ee'char: That's all I ever was. But I'm real to you, and that's all that matters.

Chief Miles Edward O'Brien: How can you sleep at a time like this?
Ee'char: Maybe I'll dream about food.
[laughs]
Chief Miles Edward O'Brien: You're crazy.
Ee'char: No... just hungry.

Chief Miles Edward O'Brien: I wanted him to die. I keep telling myself... it doesn't matter, it wasn't real. But that's a lie. If it had been real, if it had been you instead of him, it wouldn't have made any difference. He was my best friend, and I murdered him!

Dr. Julian Bashir: I wasn't there with you, I didn't see what they did to you. But I do know you suffered, and that you're still suffering now, and I'm trying to help.
Chief Miles Edward O'Brien: I never asked for your help.
Dr. Julian Bashir: You didn't need to ask. I'm your doctor, and your friend.

Chief Miles Edward O'Brien: You're not my friend, not any more! The O'Brien that was your friend died in that cell!

Chief Miles Edward O'Brien: When we were growing up, they used to tell us, humanity had evolved. That mankind had outgrown hate and rage. But when it came down to it, when I had the chance to show that no matter what anyone did to me, I was still an evolved human being... I failed. I repaid kindness with blood. I was no better than an animal.

Chief Miles Edward O'Brien: Thanks, Julian. For everything.
Dr. Julian Bashir: What are friends for?

[last lines]
Molly O'Brien: Daddy's home, Daddy's home!
Chief Miles Edward O'Brien: That's right - Daddy's home.

Chief Miles Edward O'Brien: [to Ee'Char, while imagining they're in an Argrathi prison] I'm sick of it! I'm sick of this place! I'm sick of your drawings! And most of all, I am sick of you!


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Extreme Measures (#7.23)" (1999)
[Sloan has committed suicide to prevent the data of the cure from falling into Bashir's hands]
Doctor Bashir: There must be some way to retrieve that data.
Chief O'Brien: Maybe we should just let him die in peace.
Doctor Bashir: Miles... I need a multitronic engrammatic interpreter.
Chief O'Brien: Or maybe I'll find you a multitronic engrammatic interpreter.

Doctor Bashir: I kept thinking just how many people had to have been involved in the conspiracy to infect him with the disease - computer experts, doctors, security officers, admirals, clerks... In the end, I came up with at least seventy-three people.
Chief O'Brien: Phh! For a minute there, I thought you were gonna say seventy thousand.

Chief O'Brien: I'm going with you.
Doctor Bashir: What?
Chief O'Brien: You heard me. And it's not open to debate. If you're determined to go on this lunatic mission inside Sloan's head, then somebody with an ounce of sanity has to be with you!
Doctor Bashir: You just wanna come because you don't want Captain Sisko to find out what we're doing.
Chief O'Brien: Well, there's that too.

Chief O'Brien: Where 're we going?
Doctor Bashir: I don't know. But we're not wasting any time getting there.

Chief O'Brien: Hey Julian - next time you take a trip inside someone's mind, you're going on your own!

Chief O'Brien: I wish I knew how long we've been in here.
Doctor Bashir: 23 minutes and 11 seconds.
Chief O'Brien: Show-off!

[in Sloan's mind, Sloan shoots Sloan]
Chief O'Brien: Julian?
Doctor Bashir: Don't look at me for explanations.

Doctor Bashir: What's that?
Chief O'Brien: It's the tunnel.
Doctor Bashir: What tunnel?
Chief O'Brien: You know, the... the tunnel to the great beyond.
Doctor Bashir: Oh - it is. I must say, I'm... a bit disappointed; I expected it to be more elaborate.

[O'Brien finds Bashir playing darts in a deserted Quark's]
Chief O'Brien: How'd you get in?
Doctor Bashir: The lock isn't that complex.

[O'Brien finds a bottle of some spirit behind Quark's bar]
Chief O'Brien: Aha! Here we go. I knew Quark was hoarding a bottle of the good stuff.
Doctor Bashir: [inspects the label] This is older than I am.
Chief O'Brien: What?
[he also reads the label]
Chief O'Brien: I'm drinking with a child!

Chief O'Brien: [of Keiko] She always said I... I liked you more than I liked her.
Doctor Bashir: That's ridiculous!
Chief O'Brien: Right.
Doctor Bashir: Well, maybe, maybe you do, a bit more.
Chief O'Brien: What? Are you crazy? She's my wife, I love her!
Doctor Bashir: Of course you love her - she's your wife.
Chief O'Brien: Yeah.
Doctor Bashir: I'm just saying, maybe you like me a bit more, that's all.
Chief O'Brien: I do not.
Doctor Bashir: You spend more time with me.
Chief O'Brien: We work together!
Doctor Bashir: We have more in common.
Chief O'Brien: Julian, you are beginning to annoy me.
Doctor Bashir: Darts, racquetball, Vic's lounge, the Alamo... Need I go on?
Chief O'Brien: I *love* my wife.
Doctor Bashir: And I love Ezri - passionately.
Chief O'Brien: You do?
Doctor Bashir: Yes.
Chief O'Brien: Have you told her?
Doctor Bashir: Not yet. But I will.
Chief O'Brien: Oh, yeah? Huh... When?
Doctor Bashir: When I'm ready. It's just that I... like you... a bit more. See? There, I've admitted it.
Chief O'Brien: Yeah, well - I *love* my wife.

[last lines]
Chief O'Brien: Well, I'd better get home. Keiko is holding dinner for me.
Doctor Bashir: This late?
Chief O'Brien: Yeah, well, she's a helluva woman.
Doctor Bashir: That's why you love her.
Chief O'Brien: M-hm, that's right - that's why I love her.
[he is about to leave but comes back once more]
Chief O'Brien: You wanna come?
Doctor Bashir: Sure.

Doctor Bashir: One thing's for sure: Sloan knew he had the perfect bait, that I wouldn't be able to resist it. But there was one thing he failed to consider.
Chief O'Brien: And what's that?
Doctor Bashir: You. To Miles Edward O'Brien!
Chief O'Brien: To friendship.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Empok Nor (#5.24)" (1997)
Chief O'Brien: So what did Captain Sisko do to persuade you to come along?
Garak: How do you know I didn't volunteer?

Nog: I'm reporting for duty - sir!
Chief O'Brien: Welcome aboard, Cadet.
Nog: Thank you, sir. And may I say, it's a privilege to be here, sir.
Chief O'Brien: You've earned it. But one more 'sir' and I'll leave you behind.
Nog: Very well, s... Chief!

Chief O'Brien: What's the matter?
Garak: Well, it's just that... Lately I've noticed everyone seems to trust me. It's quite unnerving, I'm still trying to get used to it. Next thing I know, people are going to be inviting me to their homes for dinner.
Chief O'Brien: Well, if it makes you feel any better, I promise I will never have you over.
Garak: I appreciate that, Chief.

Chief O'Brien: All right, listen up. We're gonna break up into three teams: Nog and Stolzoff, you're with me; we'll do the "must haves". Pechetti and Amaro, you'll do the "could use". Boq'ta and Garak, "would be nice".

[Garak challenges O'Brien to a game of kotra, a Cardassian strategy game, appealing to O'Brien's experience as a former soldier]
Chief O'Brien: I'm not a soldier anymore. I'm an engineer.
Garak: I see. So when you and Dr. Bashir go into the holosuites for hours at a time, you're just repairing them?

Chief O'Brien: [referring to Garak] If he thinks he can neutralize the Cardassians, let him try. He'd be doing us all a favor.
Garak: That's the spirit. Why don't you come with me, Chief? Kill a few "Cardies"? It'll be like old times.

Garak: What is it, Chief?
Chief O'Brien: You look different.
Garak: How so?
Chief O'Brien: That's not the face of a tailor.
Garak: I'm not a tailor... Not for the moment anyway.

Nog: It doesn't make any sense. Garak's on our side.
Chief O'Brien: Not anymore.

Garak: This is the most exciting game I've played in years.
Chief O'Brien: It's not a game!
Garak: Oh, but it is. And the best thing about it is that it brings out the player's true nature.

Garak: You're a killer, admit it. We both are. Behind your Federation mask of decency and benevolence you're a predator, just like me.
Chief O'Brien: No... I'm nothing like you.

Chief O'Brien: Julian tells me the blast broke a couple of your ribs.
Garak: Well, it could have been worse. If I had been any closer to that phaser it would have killed me.
Chief O'Brien: Don't take this the wrong way but... that was the plan.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Trials and Tribble-ations (#5.6)" (1996)
[the crew has traveled back in time and is now wearing TOS-style uniforms. Sisko is wearing gold, O'Brien red and Bashir blue]
Doctor Bashir: Wait a minute. Aren't you two wearing the wrong color?
O'Brien: Don't you know anything about this period in time?
Doctor Bashir: I'm a doctor, not an historian.
Sisko: In the old days, operations officers wore red, command officers wore gold...
Lt. Commander Jadzia Dax: And women wore less.
[Dax appears behind them, dressed in a revealing TOS miniskirt-style uniform]
Doctor Bashir: I think I'm going to like history.

Doctor Bashir: [about the appearance of early Klingons] Those are Klingons?
Odo: Mister Worf?
Worf: They are Klingons, and it is a long story.
O'Brien: What happened? Some kind genetic engineering?
Doctor Bashir: A viral mutation?
Worf: We do not discuss it with outsiders.

Arne Darvin: [about Klingons] At least they know how to make coffee, even if they are foul smelling barbarians.
[spots Worf who gives him a stern look]
Arne Darvin: Uh, sss-sorry!
[leaves quickly]
O'Brien: I wouldn't take it personally, Worf.
Doctor Bashir: I rather like the way you smell.
O'Brien: Yeah... sort of... earthy, peaty aroma.
Doctor Bashir: With a touch of... lilac...

[O'Brien and Bashir in the Enterprise's turbolift... ]
O'Brien: Deck 21.
[nothing happens]
O'Brien: Deck 21.
[the turbolift is still not moving]
O'Brien: I said deck 21!
Doctor Bashir: Maybe if you said 'please'.

Dr. Julian Bashir: This could be a pre-destination paradox... I could be destined to fall in love with that woman and become my own great-grandfather.
O'Brien: You're being ridiculous.
Dr. Julian Bashir: Ridiculous? If I don't meet with her tomorrow I may never be born!... You saw the way she looked at me. You can't just dismiss this.
O'Brien: I can try.
Dr. Julian Bashir: All right - fine! But I can't wait to get back to Deep Space Nine and see your face when you find out that I never existed!

O'Brien: [examining an Enterprise power relay] I'm afraid to touch anything. It's all cross-circuited and patched together - I can't make head nor tails of it.
Doctor Bashir: Sounds like one of your repair jobs.

[Bashir accidentally steps on a tribble]
Doctor Bashir: [picks him up] I'm sorry about that, little fellow. Who left you out here all alone?
O'Brien: [looks up the corridor] He's not alone...

O'Brien: Captain, I'm not sure we can get to K7's internal sensors.
Sisko: Then you will have to manually scan every tribble on the station.
O'Brien: There must be thousands of them by now.
Doctor Bashir: Hundreds of thousands.
Lt. Commander Jadzia Dax: 1,771,561! That's starting with one tribble, with an average litter of ten every twelve hours. After three days...
Sisko: Thank you!

O'Brien: Me. Of all the people in the line-up he asks me who threw the first punch.
Doctor Bashir: You lied to him.
O'Brien: I lied to Captain Kirk! I wish Keiko could've been here to see it.

Doctor Bashir: Clearly we've been going about this search business all wrong, Chief.
O'Brien: You're right. Why bother searching thirty decks when you can just plunk yourself down at the bar here and wait for Darvin to come to you?
Odo: We have reason to believe that he'll return to this area.
Doctor Bashir: Ah...!
O'Brien: Ah, yes, the raktajino.
Doctor Bashir: A vital clue that others might have missed. How fortunate it is that it has kept you stuck at this bar for the past three hours having drinks, while we've been crawling through conduits.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: The Ship (#5.2)" (1996)
Chief O'Brien: Always kissing up to the officers, aren't you, Muñiz?
Muñiz: I'm just following your example.

Muñiz: I thought maybe you just stopped to catch your breath.
Chief O'Brien: Me, out of breath? I was climbing mountains in Ireland before you were born.
Muñiz: You mean hills, don't you? They've gently sloping hills in Ireland - no mountains. But what do I know? After all, you're the mountain man - an old mountain man.
Chief O'Brien: You know something, Muñiz? You're due for a transfer. How does waste extraction sound?

Captain Sisko: [about the Jem'Hadar ship] Can we use the runabout's tractor beam to haul this thing into orbit? This would be the greatest intelligence find in the last ten years. We're not going to leave it here to rot. What d'you say, Chief?
Chief O'Brien: Well, we're not gonna haul it out with a runabout.
Captain Sisko: Then we need something with a little more muscle.

[Muñiz is injured; O'Brien treats him]
Muñiz: Don't worry, Jefe. I'll get you through this.
Chief O'Brien: I feel better already!

Muñiz: I'm leaking like a ruptured plasma conduit, aren't I, sir?
Chief O'Brien: It's not that bad.
Muñiz: You're lying.
Chief O'Brien: What makes you say that?
Muñiz: I called you 'sir' and you didn't even flinch.

Chief O'Brien: [ripping off a sleeve from his shirt] Quique, do me a favor. Please... stop bleeding before I run out of clothes.

Chief O'Brien: That boy's life is in our hands; and I won't let anybody give up on him.

Lt. Commander Worf: That is no way for anyone to die.
Chief O'Brien: I told you, he is not going to die.
Lt. Commander Worf: It is only a matter of time.
Chief O'Brien: So we should just kill him, right?
Lt. Commander Worf: If you truly are his friend, you would consider that option. It would be a more honorable death than the one he's enduring.
Chief O'Brien: I'm not some bloodthirsty Klingon looking for an excuse to murder my friend.
Lt. Commander Worf: No. You're just another weak Human afraid to face death!

Captain Sisko: The Vorta doesn't want the ship; she wants something aboard it.
Chief O'Brien: Any idea what?
Captain Sisko: It could be anything - encoding device, guidance system...
Lt. Commander Jadzia Dax: Maybe she lost an earring.

[last lines]
[Worf compares O'Brien's vigil at Muñiz's casket with a Klingon tradition]
Lt. Commander Worf: When a warrior dies in battle, his comrades stay with the body to keep away predators. That allows the spirit to leave the body when it is time to make the long journey to Sto-vo-kor.
Chief O'Brien: It's a fine tradition.
[Worf sits down by Muñiz's casket, beside O'Brien]
Chief O'Brien: What're you doing?
Lt. Commander Worf: We will both keep the predators away.
Chief O'Brien: I'm sure Quique would like that.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Tribunal (#2.25)" (1994)
Chief O'Brien: My name is Miles O'Brien. My rank is Chief of Operations, Starfleet. I'm a Federation citizen.

Commander Sisko: Chief O'Brien.
Chief O'Brien: Yes, sir?
Commander Sisko: You're on leave. Please, disembark the station!
Chief O'Brien: Aye, sir.

Chief O'Brien: I've been in service to the Federation - Starfleet - all my adult life. No one has ever questioned my loyalty. No one in my entire life has ever had cause to ask "Miles O'Brien, are you a criminal?" I took an oath to defend the Federation, and what it stands for. I don't steal from them, I don't lie to them. I'm no angel. But I try to live every day as the best human being I know how to be. I need my little girl to wake up in the morning and look up at me and see a man she can respect. Until now, she always could.

Kovat: Whatever you've done, whatever the charges against you, none of that really matters in the long run.
Chief O'Brien: What does matter?
Kovat: This trial is to demonstrate the futility of behavior contrary to good order. Everyone will find it most uplifting.
Chief O'Brien: Not everyone.

Odo: Being accused of a crime is not a disgrace, Chief. Some of the great figures of history have shared the honor with you.
Chief O'Brien: I didn't figure on dying a martyr.
Odo: Not all of them were martyrs; not all of them died. Some of them were just innocent men - like you.

Chief O'Brien: I've been told that I've already been charged, indicted, convicted and sentenced. What would I need with a lawyer?
Kovat: Ah, Mr. O'Brien, if it sounds immodest of me, I apologize, but the role of public conservator is key to the productive functioning of our courts. I'm here to help you concede the wisdom of the state. To prepare you to accept the inevitable with equanimity.

Chief O'Brien: Oh, I do have one question.
Kovat: Yes, certainly.
Chief O'Brien: Have you ever won a case?
Kovat: Winning isn't everything.

Kovat: Excuse me for asking. I'm merely trying to establish why a fine man like you could turn into a criminal. Perhaps you could help me?
Chief O'Brien: Sorry, no, I can't help, because I'm no criminal.
Kovat: [to Archon Makbar] Well, I tried.

[last lines]
Chief O'Brien: I'm ready to get back to work.
Commander Sisko: Oh, no, no, no. I had to use all of my influence to extend your accomodations at the lagoon. We'll drop you off on our way home.
Chief O'Brien: But we haven't any bags, no holo-cam. I-I've nothing to read.
Keiko O'Brien: Perfect!


"Star Trek: The Next Generation: The Wounded (#4.12)" (1991)
Chief Miles O'Brien: [about dinner] What... Wh-what is it?
Keiko O'Brien: Kelp buds, plankton loaf and sea berries.
Chief Miles O'Brien: Sweetheart... I'm not a fish.

Glin Daro: We're going to your 'Ten Forward'. Will you join us?
Chief Miles O'Brien: If my Commander tells me to discuss the transporter with you, I will. If Captain Picard orders me to tell you everything I know about Ben Maxwell, I will. But who I choose to spend my free time with, that's my business.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard: You don't care for the Cardassians?
Chief Miles O'Brien: I like them fine. It's just... Well, I know them. You learn to watch your back when you're around those people.

Chief Miles O'Brien: [about his experiences on Setlik III] The only people left alive... were in an outlying district of the settlement. I was sent there with a squad to reinforce them. Cardassians were advancing on us - moving through the streets, destroying, killing... I was with a group of women and children, when two Cardassian soldiers burst in. I stunned one of them. The other one jumped me. We struggled. One of the women threw me a phaser, and I fired.
[he takes a sip from his drink]
Chief Miles O'Brien: The phaser was set at maximum. The man just... just incinerated, there before my eyes. I'd never killed anything before. When I was a kid, I'd... I'd worry about swatting a mosquito.
[he gets up]
Chief Miles O'Brien: It's not you I hate, Cardassian. I hate what I became, *because* of you.

Capt. Benjamin Maxwell: O'Brien has the ability to size up a situation instantly, and come up with options to fit all contingencies. Remarkable!
Chief Miles O'Brien: Well, if that's true, I learned it from you, sir.
Capt. Benjamin Maxwell: [laughs] But you got that silver tongue by kissing the stone, right?

Capt. Benjamin Maxwell: What the hell has happened to this war?
Chief Miles O'Brien: Sir... There is - no - war. The war is over!
Capt. Benjamin Maxwell: You're wrong. The Cardassians live to make war.
Chief Miles O'Brien: That's what everybody thinks about the enemy. That's probably what they think about *us*.
Capt. Benjamin Maxwell: We're not the same at all. We do not *start* wars. We do not make surprise attacks on manned outposts. We do not butcher women and children in their homes! Children... who never had the chance to grow up.

Chief Miles O'Brien: [singing] The minstrel boy to the war has gone / In the ranks of death you will find him.
Chief Miles O'Brien, Capt. Benjamin Maxwell: [joint] His father's sword he hath girded on / And his wild harp slung behind him. "Land of song", said the warrior bard / "Tho' all the world betrays thee. One sword at least thy rights shall guard...
Chief Miles O'Brien: ...One faithful harp shall praise thee."

Chief Miles O'Brien, Capt. Benjamin Maxwell: [singing] The minstrel boy to the war is gone / In the ranks of death you will find him. His father's sword he hath girded on / And his wild harp slung behind him. Land of song, said the warrior bard / Tho' all the world betrays thee. One sword at least thy rights shall guard /
[only O'Brien finishes song]
Chief Miles O'Brien, Capt. Benjamin Maxwell: One faithful harp shall praise thee.
Capt. Benjamin Maxwell: I'm not going to win this one, am I Miles?
Chief Miles O'Brien: No, sir.

Chief Miles O'Brien: [about Maxwell] I'd just like to say, sir... he was a good man. What he did was terribly wrong, I know that now. But I'm still proud to have served with him.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Captive Pursuit (#1.5)" (1993)
O'Brien: Hey, barkeep!
Quark: Don't call me barkeep! I'm not a barkeep! I'm your host, the proprietor, a sympathetic ear to the wretched souls who pass through these portals.
O'Brien: [to Tosk] And a man who will exploit any vice you may have. Two synthales, barkeep.
Tosk: [to Quark] I am sorry, I have no vices for you to exploit.

Tosk: You wear a weapon?
O'Brien: Defensive purposes only. It may not seem hospitable, but when you go into an alien ship for the first time, you never know what might be in there. You may even find someone who can make himself invisible. Do you know what I mean?
[ignorant that Tosk *can* make himself invisible]

O'Brien: You know the old saying - a man who's always looking over his shoulder is waiting for trouble to find him.

O'Brien: As the Vulcans say, we're here to serve.

O'Brien: [in Quark's] This is where we do most of our R and R.
Tosk: What is 'R and R'?
O'Brien: Rest and relaxation. Downtime. When we're not working.
Tosk: You sleep a full third of your rotation. You rest and relax while you are awake. Alpha Quadrant has far too much downtime.

O'Brien: [after knocking out the hunter with one punch] Glass jaw. Now I know why you wear a helmet.

O'Brien: One day as a Tosk is enough for me.

Tosk: Die with honor, O'Brien.
O'Brien: Die with honor, Tosk.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: The Assignment (#5.5)" (1996)
[O'Brien prepares Rom for a secret mission and urges him to talk to no one about it]
Rom: Culpable deniability - I understand. Don't worry about me, Chief; my lips are sealed. Nobody will get anything out of me, not even my name!
O'Brien: Rom - everybody on the station knows your name.
Rom: [reflecting] Right... But I won't confirm it!

Rom: Captain Sisko, Odo, they don't know about any of this, do they?
O'Brien: No. No, they don't. And I want you to help me keep it that way for a little while longer.
Rom: I have to stay here and play the idiot?
O'Brien: I'm afraid so. And no matter what Odo asks you...
Rom: I'm Quark's brother. I know the role.

[Bashir has accidentally killed Keiko's plants, but refuses O'Brien's request that he come along to apologize to her for it]
Doctor Bashir: You don't need me there. I've seen you handle your wife thousands of times. Just say you're sorry and that you take full responsibility; you'll be fine! Besides, I, er, have to be in surgery - operating.
O'Brien: On who?
Doctor Bashir: I'll find someone.

[the station crew have found out that certain systems on the station have been manipulated]
O'Brien: So far, these alterations don't seem to pose any threat to the station.
Captain Sisko: So far. But this might be just the tip of a very large and dangerous iceberg.

Lt. Commander Jadzia Dax: I couldn't sleep, so I got up and decided to scan the wormhole for radiometric anomalies.
O'Brien: At three in the morning?
Lt. Commander Jadzia Dax: I've always found anomalies to be very relaxing; it's a curse.

O'Brien: God help me.

Lt. Commander Jadzia Dax: You're cleared for departure. But before you go, there's one thing I'd like to ask you.
O'Brien: What's that?
Lt. Commander Jadzia Dax: Did you enjoy your birthday?
O'Brien: Well, it was full of surprises.

O'Brien: [a Pah-wraith possessed Keiko wants O'Brien to target the wormhole and destroy the Prophets] Let's get on with it!
Keiko O'Brien/Pah-wraith: Miles, you have a lot to learn about patience.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Treachery, Faith, and the Great River (#7.6)" (1998)
Chief O'Brien: How could he do this to me? How could he leave me adrift, mid-river, without a paddle?
Rom: What river would that be?
Chief O'Brien: You know, the Great Material Continuum.
Rom: Oh, *that* river. It can be very treacherous.
Chief O'Brien: Tell me about it. Well, I suppose the good news is, with Nog gone, nothing else can go missing.

Chief O'Brien: Leave me alone, Quark, or I'll feed you to one of those plasma conductors.

[Nog has promised O'Brien to organize a graviton stabilizer within three days]
Chief O'Brien: All right. But don't do anything I wouldn't do.
Nog: Chief, I can't operate under those kinds of restrictions.
Chief O'Brien: At least promise me you won't do anything to get us court-martialed.
Nog: I'll try.
Chief O'Brien: Nog!
Nog: Just kidding, Chief.

Chief O'Brien: [on Chief Lorenzo] So, once he has his picture, he's going to send us the graviton stabilizer?
Nog: No. He is giving us an induction modulator.
Chief O'Brien: But we don't need an induction modulator.
Nog: But the USS Musashi does.
Chief O'Brien: Aah. So the Musashi's going to send us the stabilizer?
Nog: No. They're giving us a phaser emitter.
Chief O'Brien: But we don't need a phaser emitter!
Nog: I know. But the USS Sentinel does, and *they* have the extra stabilizer.
Chief O'Brien: And they're willing to give it up for a phaser emitter?
Nog: That's the rumor.
Chief O'Brien: Rumor? What, you-you've made all these deals based on a rumor?
Nog: From a very reliable source.
Chief O'Brien: But what if it turns out not to be true?
Nog: You have to have faith, Chief.
Chief O'Brien: In a rumor?
Nog: No. In the Great Material Continuum.
Chief O'Brien: [sighs] Who are they?
Nog: It's not a 'they'. It's the force that binds the universe together.
Chief O'Brien: I must have missed that class in engineering school.

Chief O'Brien: What do you think?
Doctor Bashir: It's white.
Chief O'Brien: I know it's white. I'm gonna paint it.
Doctor Bashir: It's the wrong shape... It's the wrong height, the wrong width, other than that it is perfect. The Captain will never suspect you switched desks on him.
Chief O'Brien: Julian, I need your help, not sarcasm.
Doctor Bashir: I'm afraid Nog is the only one that can help you now.
Chief O'Brien: If he gets back to the station before the Captain does.
Doctor Bashir: Maybe he's not coming back. Maybe he's decided to make a run for it.
Colonel Kira: [enters] That isn't the Captain's desk!
Doctor Bashir: He's gonna paint it.
Colonel Kira: Get it out of here!

Nog: The Continuum is real. You see, there are millions upon millions of worlds in the universe, each one filled with too much of one thing and not enough of another. And the Great Continuum flows through them all, like a mighty river, from 'have' to 'want' and back again. And if we navigate the Continuum with skill and grace, our ship will be filled with everything our hearts desire.
Chief O'Brien: Yeah, right now, I'd settle for a stabilizer and the Captain's desk.
Nog: The river will provide.
Chief O'Brien: Huh - if it doesn't sink us first.

Nog: And remember: anytime you're shopping for wines or spirits, my cousin Gant is the man to see.
Lt. Commander Worf: We will keep that in mind.
[leaves]
Chief O'Brien: Your cousin Gant?
Nog: Just another sailor on the Great River.

Captain Sisko: Oh, about the stabilizer...
Chief O'Brien: Captain, I-I can explain...
Captain Sisko: Don't bother. Ensign Nog tells me you were able to get ahold of one this morning.
Chief O'Brien: I was? I mean, I was!


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Hippocratic Oath (#4.3)" (1995)
Chief O'Brien: Keiko only spends a few days at a time on the station. I'm the one living in those quarters. And if I want to set up a little workshop in the bedroom...
Dr. Bashir: You set up a workshop in the bedroom?
Chief O'Brien: Yeah. I don't use it when she's visiting.
Dr. Bashir: Of course not.
Chief O'Brien: She says I'm trying to live like a bachelor again. That I'm expressing a subconscious desire to push her out of our quarters.
Dr. Bashir: Now, that *is* ridiculous.
Chief O'Brien: That's what I said!
Dr. Bashir: I mean... if anything, by spending your free time in the bedroom, a place you intimately associate with Keiko, you are actually expressing a... desire to be closer to her, during her absence. It... 's quite touching, really.
Chief O'Brien: Exactly! Exactly! See, you understand. Now, why can't she see that? Why can't she be more like...
Dr. Bashir: More like...?
Chief O'Brien: Well - a man. Mo-more like a man?
Dr. Bashir: So... you wish... Keiko... was a man?
Chief O'Brien: I wish I was on this trip with someone else, that's what I wish!

Dr. Bashir: [on an unknown planet] A lovely place. - Smells like a garbage dump.
Chief O'Brien: I'm sorry I couldn't find a nicer place to crash-land. Should we try again?

Goran'Agar: Human. Gold uniform indicates a specialty in Security or Engineering. Rank: Chief Petty Officer. You are what Starfleet refers to as a 'non-com'.
Chief O'Brien: That's right.
Goran'Agar: You must have a great deal of experience.
Chief O'Brien: I've been around.
Goran'Agar: That makes you a priority target. We will kill you first.

Arak'Taral: You don't like helping us.
Chief O'Brien: No, I don't.
Arak'Taral: Good. I don't like it either.
Chief O'Brien: I'm glad we understand each other.

Chief O'Brien: I'd hate to think what'd make the Jem'Hadar jumpy.

[Goran'Agar intends to kill his men]
Dr. Bashir: You don't have to do this. Even if we can't save their lives, there's no need to sacrifice yourself.
Goran'Agar: [to O'Brien] You are a soldier?
Chief O'Brien: I have been.
Goran'Agar: Then you explain.
[he walks off and vanishes into the jungle]
Chief O'Brien: He's their Commander. They trusted him. He can't leave them.

Chief O'Brien: I wish things could've been different, Julian.
Dr. Bashir: So do I.
Chief O'Brien: And I'm... sorry I had to destroy your work.
Dr. Bashir: You didn't "have" to, Chief. You had a choice; and you chose to disobey orders, override my judgment... and condemn those men to death.
Chief O'Brien: Yes, I did. Because I thought it was the only way to save your life. Whatever else you may think of who I am and what I did, at least try to understand that.

[last lines]
Dr. Bashir: Tonight's supposed to be our weekly darts game.
Chief O'Brien: Don't worry. I don't feel much like playing either.
Dr. Bashir: Maybe in a few days.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Armageddon Game (#2.13)" (1994)
Doctor Bashir: I don't know if you'd noticed but T'Lani women are quite attractive.
Chief O'Brien: I'm not blind, you know.
Doctor Bashir: Course not. But you are married.

Chief O'Brien: You were wrong, you know... about marriage.
Doctor Bashir: Whatever you say, Chief.
Chief O'Brien: Listen to me, Julian! You're the one who's always talking about adventure. Huh... adventure... Oh... marriage is the greatest adventure of them all. It's filled with pitfalls and setbacks and mistakes and... But it's a journey worth taking... 'cause you take it together. I know Keiko's been unhappy about us coming to the station... We still argue about it. But that's all right... At the end of the day we both know we love each other. That's all that matters.

[last lines]
Chief O'Brien: You know... I wouldn't mind a cup of coffee right now.
Keiko O'Brien: [surprised] Miles, you never drink coffee in the afternoon.
Chief O'Brien: Sure I do!
Keiko O'Brien: [stunned] You do?

Chief O'Brien: Just 'cause you're married doesn't mean you stop looking at women.
Doctor Bashir: Just as long as you don't let your wife *see* you look.

Doctor Bashir: [over subspace] The Chief is quite anxious to return back to the station.
Chief O'Brien: Well, it's been a long week.
Commander Sisko: Still, I think we can spare you for another day.
Doctor Bashir: I agree. If that's okay with you, Chief?
Chief O'Brien: I suppose another day won't kill me.

Doctor Bashir: Don't worry, Chief. I'm gonna get you home.
Chief O'Brien: In a box maybe.
Doctor Bashir: Nonsense. Don't go giving up on me now.
Chief O'Brien: I'm not giving up. I'm dying.

Chief O'Brien: The Cardassians used to rig the supplies they left behind with pressure grenades. I've seen more than one soldier permanently use his appetite that way.

Chief O'Brien: The way I see it, we have only one chance to survive this thing, and that's to stay alive long enough for Commander Sisko to find us.
Doctor Bashir: But that won't be for at least another day. He still thinks we're celebrating on T'Lani Prime.
Chief O'Brien: I said it was our only chance. I didn't say it was a good one.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Paradise (#2.15)" (1994)
Cassandra: What are women's fashions like back home now?
Chief O'Brien: Well, Keiko, my wife, she's been replicating longer dresses lately.
Cassandra: Oh, no. That means I'll have to alter everything I own.

[Sisko reads in Alixus' journal about her views about mankind]
Commander Sisko: ...She says we have become fat and lazy and dull.
Chief O'Brien: My wife told me something along those lines just last week.

Commander Sisko: [reading] "The common conceit that the human species has evolved over the last several centuries is ludicrous. What gains we have made have come at the cost of our own core identities. Man has lost touch with his true power."
Chief O'Brien: Sounds like it took a crash landing for her to find her paradise.

Chief O'Brien: Around my house, I'm known as the 'black thumb'... The only way I could get anything to grow was to marry a botanist.

Chief O'Brien: It wasn't until I got to the Cardassian Front I found out I had talents I never knew I had... It was a matter of figuring out how to get a field transporter operational in ten minutes, or wind up being a Cardassian prisoner of war. Now, I didn't know a transporter from a turbolift in those days; but somehow, in 9min 53sec, I got that thing to work.

Chief O'Brien: [smugly,in his skivvies, standing above his now subdued attacker] Well, you finally got one of us out of our uniform.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Through the Looking Glass (#3.19)" (1995)
Commander Sisko: Where are we?
Smiley O'Brien: I guess you could say we just stepped through the looking glass.

Rom: [to Commander Sisko] Captain, you're alive.
Smiley O'Brien: Of course he's alive. You can't kill the Captain, he's too ornery.

Commander Sisko: I thought you told me I was married.
Smiley O'Brien: Well, you are, technically, but... she is your mistress.
Commander Sisko: I see what you meant by "surprises".

Commander Sisko: [of Jennifer] I can't let her die. Not again.
Smiley O'Brien: You're the only one who can save her.

[Sisko and O'Brien are surrounded by Alliance ships]
Smiley O'Brien: You know, Captain Sisko would try to fight his way out of this.
Commander Sisko: Be glad I'm not him.

Intendant Kira: Whatever shall we do about O'Brien? I remember the first time I saw you, Tinkerer. You were fixing something. You were always fixing things, making things better. And everyone loved you for it, even me. But that just wasn't enough for you, was it? You couldn't be happy, staying here being loved. You had to lash out and betray everyone who was ever good to you. Why?
Smiley O'Brien: I wanted to be free.
Intendant Kira: [contemptuously] Free. You're a Terran. You were born a slave and you'll die a slave.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: One Little Ship (#6.14)" (1998)
Chief O'Brien: I don't feel any smaller...

Chief O'Brien: What are you smirking at? You're as small as I am.
Doctor Bashir: Actually, you're sitting 1.14 meters closer to the focal point of the anomaly. Which means, you've shrunk .04 percent more than I have.

Chief O'Brien: [indicating the size of about seven centimeters] Are you telling me I'm gonna be this bloody tall for the rest of my life?
Doctor Bashir: [indicating about one centimeter] This bloody tall, actually.

[Dax is trying to open a door by activating the control panel with the runabout]
Chief O'Brien: Don't hit it too hard. You could shatter the control panel.
Lt. Commander Jadzia Dax: Don't worry, I have a light touch.
Doctor Bashir: Not according to Worf...

Doctor Bashir: This conduit's filthy, Chief. Don't you ever clean up in here?
Lt. Commander Jadzia Dax: All right, all right, let's not badger the Chief.
Chief O'Brien: Thank you.
Doctor Bashir: I'm sorry. It was very small of me.

[last lines]
Odo: Are you sure you've returned to your normal size?
Chief O'Brien: Of course.
Doctor Bashir: Why?
Odo: Well, you both appear to be a couple of centimeters shorter than you were the last time I saw you. A Changeling notices that sort of thing.
Quark: I didn't want to say anything, but... you do look a little on the petite side.
[O'Brien and Bashir look at each other]
Doctor Bashir: Infirmary!
[they hurry out]
Quark: [to Odo] And they say you don't have a sense of humor.
[both chuckle]


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Accession (#4.16)" (1996)
[O'Brien and Bashir are straightening up the O'Brien's quarters for Keiko, who is returning after two months]
Doctor Bashir: It is sort of a shame to pack this stuff away.
Chief O'Brien: Wish we didn't have to.
Doctor Bashir: It's like a sculpture, a monument to your year as a bachelor.
Chief O'Brien: I suppose it is.
Doctor Bashir: Who are we to dismantle this piece of art?
Chief O'Brien: I don't know. But if we don't, Keiko will dismantle me.

Molly O'Brien: Daddy, Daddy, I have a little brother!
Chief Miles Edward O'Brien: Really?
[points at Molly's doll]
Chief Miles Edward O'Brien: Is that him?
Molly O'Brien: No, he's in there.
[She points at her mum's belly. O'Brien looks up]
Keiko O'Brien: Surprise!

Quark: Did you hear? Keiko's gonna have another baby!
Lt. Commander Worf: [alarmed] Now?
Chief O'Brien: No! Seven months.
Lt. Commander Worf: I see...
Chief O'Brien: [to Bashir] Worf delivered Molly, you know.
Doctor Bashir: Really?
Chief O'Brien: The Enterprise was damaged. Keiko and he were trapped together when her time came.
Doctor Bashir: [to Worf] Oh well, I'll, uh, be sure and call you, when she's ready to deliver; you can lend a hand.
Lt. Commander Worf: Seven months? Unfortunately I will be away from the station at that time... Far away... Visiting my parents, on Earth... Excuse me.
[leaves in a hurry]

Chief O'Brien: [pointing at Morn] I see you found someone to play darts with... I've set up a board in our quarters so Molly and I can play.
Doctor Bashir: Well, Morn's, um... he's pretty good.
Chief O'Brien: So's Molly.
[both sighing]
Chief O'Brien, Doctor Bashir: [simultaneously] It's not the same!

Chief O'Brien: Wanna try for twins?
Keiko O'Brien: I don't think it works that way. You'd better brush up on your biology.
Chief O'Brien: Teach me!

[first lines; Bashir and O'Brien enter the O'Briens' quarters, wearing bomber jackets]
Doctor Bashir: I thought you said you'd started straightening this place up!
Chief O'Brien: You should have seen it earlier.
Doctor Bashir: Well, Keiko's shuttle will be here before we know it. We should have left the holosuite hours ago.
Chief O'Brien: What, and let the Jerries cross the Channel? Never!


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Fascination (#3.10)" (1994)
Doctor Bashir: Nervous, Chief?
Chief O'Brien: What're you talking about?
Doctor Bashir: That's your fifth cup of coffee in twenty minutes.
Chief O'Brien: I didn't realize you were keeping track.
Doctor Bashir: Oh, nervous and irascible.
Chief O'Brien: If you hadn't seen your wife and child for two months, you'd be irascible too.
Doctor Bashir: Well, believe me, I'm looking forward to Keiko and Molly's visit as much as you are.
Chief O'Brien: Ha-ha, I doubt that.
Doctor Bashir: How many games of raquetball have we played in the last two months?
Chief O'Brien: I don't know, um... Fifteen, maybe twenty?
Doctor Bashir: No, try seventy. I've been keeping track of that, too. And you know what all those games have proved to me? That I'm a poor substitute for your wife.
Chief O'Brien: I could've told you that sixty games ago.

Chief O'Brien: Thing is, they're only gonna be here for two days. That's barely enough time to say hello. And then back to Bajor again for another four months.
Doctor Bashir: Four months! Why, that's another 150 games of raquetball. I don't think my elbow can take that kind of abuse.

[Kira joins O'Brien in front of an airlock waiting for the new arrivals]
Major Kira: Chief.
Chief O'Brien: Major. - Keiko.
Major Kira: Ah. Bareil.
Chief O'Brien: Good luck.
Major Kira: You too.

Chief O'Brien: If you need to sleep, go ahead. I'll understand.
Keiko O'Brien: No, you won't. You'll be disappointed and you'll start brooding and stomping around like an Andorian bull.

Quark: Here - have a free pen.
Chief O'Brien: What for?
Quark: To write down your problems on a renewal scroll.
Chief O'Brien: There isn't a scroll long enough for all my problems.
Quark: Really? I thought you could sum them up with one word: Keiko.

Keiko O'Brien: So you're sure Dr. Bashir said your test results were negative?
Chief O'Brien: That's right. My headache was just a headache. I never was affected by Mrs. Troi.
Keiko O'Brien: Well, I guess that means you don't have a latent attraction to me after all.
Chief O'Brien: Nothing latent about it. Weren't you paying attention last night?


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: What You Leave Behind (#7.25)" (1999)
O'Brien: Somebody has to teach you officers the difference between a warp matrix flux capacitor and a self-sealing stem bolt.

Jake Sisko: [discussing O'Brien's move to Earth] Any idea where you're gonna live?
O'Brien: No, Keiko and I're still mulling over a few possibilities.
Worf: Have you ever considered Minsk?
O'Brien: I don't think that's on our list.
Sisko: New Orleans is a gorgeous city.
Kasidy Yates: I've heard great things about Paris.
Worf: Minsk.
Lieutenant Ezri Dax: Jadzia loved Rio.
Odo: Well, you've certainly got a lot of choices.
O'Brien: Yeah, too many, hm?
Worf: Minsk.

Captain Sisko: All right, people, what do you say we end this war?
Chief O'Brien: Sounds good to me.

[O'Brien has been injured]
Doctor Bashir: I can't look away for a second.
Chief O'Brien: Just fix the shoulder... Careful!
Doctor Bashir: Sit still, or you're gonna end up with one arm shorter than the other!
Chief O'Brien: You'd do anything to beat me at darts.

[O'Brien's last line of the series]
Chief O'Brien: See, it's gonna be great.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Rocks and Shoals (#6.2)" (1997)
Chief O'Brien: Reroute the damn gyrodyne through the damn thruster array.
Nog: Got it.
Captain Sisko: Mr. Garak, where are those ships now?
Garak: Bearing 310, Mark 215, still closing.
Chief O'Brien: Nog, did you reroute that damn gyrodyne?
Nog: I've tried, but the damn thruster array won't take the input.
Chief O'Brien: Try the lateral impulse thrusters and watch your mouth!

Chief O'Brien: Oh no!
Captain Sisko: What?
Chief O'Brien: I can't believe it!
Captain Sisko: What?
Chief O'Brien: I tore my pants!
Captain Sisko: You... you tore your pants?
Chief O'Brien: Yeah, I tore my pants!
[Everybody laughs]
Chief O'Brien: I guess... I guess I'm really in trouble now, eh?

Garak: Lucky for you, it ripped on the seam.
Chief O'Brien: Can you fix it?
Garak: Unlucky for you, my sewing kit went down with the ship.

Chief O'Brien: There are rules, Garak, even in a war.
Garak: Correction. Humans have rules in war. Rules that tend to make victory a little harder to achieve, in my opinion.

Chief O'Brien: What did he say?
Captain Sisko: All the wrong things.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Distant Voices (#3.18)" (1995)
Doctor Bashir: You all embody different aspects of my personality, different voices inside my head.
Chief O'Brien: I don't believe we're having this discussion.
Doctor Bashir: If I were to guess, Chief, I would say that you represent my doubt, and my disbelief.
Chief O'Brien: No, I don't!

Doctor Bashir: Does anybody else hear that?
Major Kira: What?
Odo: I don't hear anything.
Doctor Bashir: No, Garak didn't either.
Lieutenant Jadzia Dax: Julian, what are you talking about?
Doctor Bashir: I know, I know, it sounds odd, but I keep hearing voices.
Chief O'Brien: And he says *we're* acting peculiar?

Chief O'Brien: Mind if I come along?
Doctor Bashir: I thought you said I didn't have a chance.
Chief O'Brien: Well, I'm hoping I was wrong.
Doctor Bashir: So am I.
Chief O'Brien: But somehow I doubt it.

Doctor Bashir: How did we get back here?
Chief O'Brien: You tell me. It's your mind.

Doctor Bashir: This monitor - it's displaying my vital signs.
Chief O'Brien: And what's the prognosis?
Doctor Bashir: Pulse is thready, blood pressure is dropping steadily. I'm dying.
Chief O'Brien: I could've told you that just by looking at you.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: You Are Cordially Invited... (#6.7)" (1997)
Lt. Commander Worf: As you probably know by now, Jadzia and I will be married here on the station in six days.
Doctor Bashir: There's nothing more romantic than a wedding on DS9 in springtime.
Chief O'Brien: When the neutrinos are in bloom.

Lt. Commander Worf: There are six trials we must face on the path to Kal'Hyah. This is the first - deprivation. We now begin a fast that will continue until the day of the wedding.
Doctor Bashir: That's four days away.
Martok: It is a short time, I know, but we must make the best of it.
Captain Sisko: What are the other five trials?
Lt. Commander Worf: Blood, pain, sacrifice, anguish, and death.
Doctor Bashir: Sounds like marriage alright.
Chief O'Brien: How would you know?

Lt. Commander Worf: [referring to a number of pugil sticks] These... are Ma'Stakas.
Doctor Bashir: What, er... what do we do with them?
General Martok: At the conclusion of the wedding ceremony, you will use them to attack Worf and Dax.
Chief O'Brien: Obviously. Don't you know anything?
Lt. Commander Worf: The tradition dates back to the wedding of Kahless and Lukara, who were nearly killed by Molor's troops, moments after they were married. Until the ceremony, you should keep these with you at all times.
Captain Sisko: I trust this combat is non-lethal?
General Martok: It is a symbolic attack only.

Doctor Bashir: Miles...
Chief O'Brien: Yeah...
Doctor Bashir: It's working. I've had a vision about the future. I can see it so clearly.
Chief O'Brien: What is it?
Doctor Bashir: I'm gonna kill Worf. I'm gonna kill Worf. That's what I'm gonna do. I can see it clearly now, I'm gonna kill... him.
Chief O'Brien: Kill Worf.
Doctor Bashir: Kill Worf.
Chief O'Brien: Kill Worf... Kill Worf.

Doctor Bashir: [Quark is taking down the Klingon decorations in his bar] What's going on?
Quark: Haven't you heard? The wedding's off!
Chief O'Brien: Off? Why?
Quark: She says it's because he's a pigheaded, stubborn man who puts tradition before everything else. He says it's because she's a frivolous, emotional woman who refuses to take him or his culture seriously. You can see the problem.
Chief O'Brien: They're both right.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Bar Association (#4.15)" (1996)
Doctor Bashir: What you have there is a sebaceous cyst.
Chief O'Brien: I know it's a cyst, but it's getting bigger.
Doctor Bashir: There's nothing to worry about. Dermatalogically speaking you're perfectly healthy.
Chief O'Brien: Oh, I'm perfectly healthy, except I've got a disgusting cyst on the back of my neck. Now either I paint a nose, eyes, and mouth on it and pretend I've got two heads or you take it off.
Doctor Bashir: I'll get you some paint.
Chief O'Brien: Julian! Get it off me!
Doctor Bashir: Alright, alright. But you know what they say: two heads are better than one.
Chief O'Brien: Julian, I'm waiting!

Chief O'Brien: [with Worf and Bashir in a holding cell] Captain! Can we leave now?
Captain Sisko: I'll tell Constable Odo to let you go... in the morning!

Lt. Commander Worf: We are Starfleet officers; and Starfleet officers do not brawl with each other.
Chief O'Brien: It wasn't much of a brawl really - I grabbed you, you shoved me, and Julian was tossed over a table...

Chief O'Brien: [about his ancestor Sean O'Brien] You know, he had the biggest funeral in all of Western Pennsylvania.
Rom: [startled] Funeral?
Chief O'Brien: Mm. They fished his body out of the Allegheny River, a week before the strike ended. 32 bullets he had in him. Or was it 34?
Doctor Bashir: Well - he died a hero.
Chief O'Brien: He was more than a hero. He was a union man!

[Leeta laughs at Miles and Julian as they enter the bar in ancient warrior costumes]
Doctor Bashir: I feel silly.
Leeta: I like it. It shows off your legs.
Chief O'Brien: There, you see? Your public has spoken.
Leeta: [kisses Julian] Have fun.
[Myles and Julian walk through the bar to a holosuite]
Doctor Bashir: What'd you call this holosuite program of yours again?
Chief O'Brien: The Battle of Clontarf. You, me, and a thousand stalwart Irish Warriors against a ravening horde of Vikings. It's like the Battle of Britain, only with swords.
Doctor Bashir: How come *you* get to be High King?
Chief O'Brien: I am a direct descendant of King Brian Boru. Besides, it's my program.
Doctor Bashir: I suppose that's only fair.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Emissary (#1.1)" (1993)
Chief Miles O'Brien: Sir, have you ever served with any Bajoran women?
Commander Benjamin Sisko: No, why?
Chief Miles O'Brien: I was just wondering, sir.

[Chief O'Brien's first line of the series]
Chief O'Brien: I'm told the Cardassians decided to have some fun the day they left. Four Bajorans were killed trying to protect their shops.

[O'Brien is showing Sisko around on ops]
Chief O'Brien: Uh, that's the prefect's office up there.
Commander Benjamin Sisko: So all others have to look up with respect. Cardassian architecture.
Chief O'Brien: Yes, sir. Major Kira's been using it.

Chief O'Brien: Computer, you and I need to have a little talk.
[after the station computer has refused to acknowledge his commands in a critical situation]

Major Kira: You don't think Starfleet took command of this space station without the ability to defend it, do you?
Gul Jasad: [laughing] Defend it? Your space station could not defend itself against *one* Cardassian warship.
Major Kira: You're probably right, Jasad. And if you were dealing with a Starfleet officer, they'd probably admit... we have a hopeless cause here. But I am just a Bajoran, who's been fighting a hopeless cause against the Cardassians... all her life. So if you want a war - I'll give you one!
[appearing intimidated, Jasad disconnects]
Chief O'Brien: Major - remind me never to get into a game of Roladan Wild Draw with you.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Honor Among Thieves (#6.15)" (1998)
O'Brien: [after providing Chadwick with important information] So do I get to go home now?
Chadwick: Not until you find out what's going on.
O'Brien: I was afraid you were gonna say that.

Flith: Gentlemen - we just robbed the Bank of Bolias!
Liam Bilby: I was thinking about opening an account there.
O'Brien: Maybe you should go to a different bank.

[Chadwick plans to warn the Klingons about Bilby and his men]
O'Brien: You're setting them up to be murdered?
Chadwick: You have things backwards. Bilby and his friends are the ones that murder people, not us.
O'Brien: Yeah - we just get Klingons to do it for us!
Chadwick: All I'm doing is following procedures and warning our allies about a possible assassination attempt. What happens after that is not my concern. But believe me, if the Klingons go after Raimus and the rest of the Orion Syndicate, I won't shed any tears.
O'Brien: [sarcastic] I'm sure you won't.

[last lines]
O'Brien: Bilby trusted me. He put his life in my hands, and... I killed him - just as surely as if I'd pulled that trigger myself.
Doctor Bashir: That's not fair. And you know it. You did what you had to do - your duty.
O'Brien: Is that what I'm supposed to tell myself?
Doctor Bashir: It is the truth. - Look, I'm sorry that I don't have all the answers. All I know for sure... is that I'm glad you're back.

Liam Bilby: Do you mind if I ask you something? Back home, wherever that is - do you have a family?
O'Brien: Yeah.
Liam Bilby: [laughs, relieved] Good. It's the most important thing.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Visionary (#3.17)" (1995)
Chief O'Brien: I really felt I was standing on the Promenade watching myself talking to Quark.
Doctor Bashir: What was the conversation about?
Chief O'Brien: He was complaining about some Klingons. He said they'd damaged two of his holosuites.
Doctor Bashir: Well, you do have one problem. If all you can hallucinate about is Quark's maintenance problems you have a sadly deficient fantasy life.

Chief O'Brien: You need to run a basilar arterial scan.
Doctor Bashir: Why?
Chief O'Brien: Because if you don't, I'm gonna die in less than five hours.
Doctor Bashir: Who told you that?
Chief O'Brien: You did. In the future.
Doctor Bashir: Oh. Well, who am I to argue with me?

Chief O'Brien: Trust me, Quark. Darts and bars go together like bacon and eggs.
Quark: At least people order bacon and eggs.

Chief O'Brien: I feel like someone just walked over my grave. I mean, I've had a few brushes with death in my career. But there was something about watching myself being killed, feeling my own neck for a pulse that wasn't there...
Doctor Bashir: Well, could've been worse - could've been me.

Chief O'Brien: Quark - dabo.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: To the Death (#4.22)" (1996)
Omet'iklan: I am First Omet'iklan, and I am dead. As of this moment, we are all dead. We go into battle to reclaim our lives. This we do gladly, for we are Jem'Hadar. Remember: victory is life.
Jem'Hadar: Victory is life!
[the Jem'Hadar march out]
Weyoun: Such a delightful people.
[O'Brien turns to face the assembled Federation officers]
O'Brien: I am Chief Miles Edward O'Brien. I am very much alive, and I intend to stay that way.
Sisko: Amen! Let's get it done!

Sisko: There'll be a joint briefing session at 1900 hours.
O'Brien: ...followed by a get-to-know-you buffet at 1930.
Jadzia Dax: And I forgot my dress uniform.

Worf: [to Sisko] You're asking us to lie to them about our mission. It is not honorable.
O'Brien: There's a lot of things about this mission that bother me. But lying to the Jem'Hadar is not on top of my list.

[O'Brien has recorded a potential good-bye message to his family]
O'Brien: Every time I record one of these, I think... this is it. This is the one they're gonna end up hearing.
Jadzia Dax: It'll never happen.
O'Brien: What makes you say that?
Jadzia Dax: Because, when you've lived eight lifetimes, you develop certain instincts. And my instincts tell me that you, Miles Edward O'Brien, are going to live to be 140 and die in bed, surrounded by family and friends.
O'Brien: Do you really believe that?
Jadzia Dax: Do you?
O'Brien: I'd like to.
Jadzia Dax: That's all that matters.
O'Brien: [after a pause] Well, just to be on the safe side, maybe you'd better enter this into the ship's log anyway.
Jadzia Dax: I'll put it right alongside my message to my mother.
O'Brien: You record these too?
Jadzia Dax: Doesn't everyone?

[Weyoun has been intently watching Odo for some time]
O'Brien: [to Odo] I wonder what would happen if you went over there and ordered him to stand on his head.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Image in the Sand (#7.1)" (1998)
Quark: So, what did you find out?
Chief O'Brien: That you should never try to match drinks with a Klingon.

[O'Brien, Bashir and Quark talk about Worf who thinks that Jadzia has not gone into Sto-vo-kor]
Doctor Bashir: What makes him think she's not in Sto-vo-kor?
Chief O'Brien: Well, for one thing, she never ate the heart of one of her enemies.
Quark: She always was a little squeamish.
Chief O'Brien: And secondly, she didn't die in glorious battle.
Quark: You mean, being murdered by a Pah-wraith in cold blood doesn't count?

Chief O'Brien: Apparently there is a way for Worf to ensure that Jadzia gets into Sto-vo-kor. He has to win a great battle in her name.
Quark: I could let him beat me at tongo.
Chief O'Brien: Not good enough - unless he has to carve his way through a hundred Jem'Hadar to get to the table.

[Bashir intends to go on a dangerous mission to help Jadzia get into Sto-vo-kor]
Doctor Bashir: This gives me a chance to honor her memory, and I'm gonna take it. And that, my friend, is my final word on the subject.
Chief O'Brien: You know what this means, don't you?
Doctor Bashir: Yes. That I'm risking my life for a very dubious cause.
Chief O'Brien: No. It means I'm going to risk my life for a friend who's risking his life for a very dubious cause.

Chief O'Brien: Pretty soon the Defiant will be going into battle, Worf will be happy and the rest of us will be miserable.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Statistical Probabilities (#6.9)" (1997)
Doctor Bashir: The only reason Patrick gets so emotional is because he likes you.
Chief O'Brien: He does?
Doctor Bashir: Yeah, they all do.
Chief O'Brien: What, because I got rid of that noise?
Doctor Bashir: No, no, it's not just that. They feel comfortable being around you. What was the word Jack used? "Uncomplicated".
Chief O'Brien: "Uncomplicated"?
Doctor Bashir: Oh yes, they're amazingly insightful. They have ways of seeing things other people don't.
Chief O'Brien: And saying things other people don't.

[Patrick takes O'Brien's toolbox away]
Chief O'Brien: I-I'm... I'm gonna need those.
Patrick: No, you don't. There's nothing wrong with that power coupling.

Lauren: The Chief doesn't like any of us. Do you, Chief?
Chief O'Brien: Julian...
Jack: He's just jealous you're spending so much time with us.
Lauren: His wife's away. He misses his friend.
Chief O'Brien: I do not.
Lauren: It's all right, Julian. Go play with your friend, we'll be fine.
Doctor Bashir: You want me to play with you, do you, Chief?
Chief O'Brien: No!
Lauren: Yes, you do.
Doctor Bashir: [laughing] Come on, let's go to Quark's.

Chief O'Brien: After being with them, I can understand how the rest of us must seem a little... uncomplicated.
Doctor Bashir: Well, I wouldn't say that exactly. More like... slow.
Chief O'Brien: Ha-ha. Must be very frustrating for you.
Doctor Bashir: I don't mind. Makes me feel superior.
Chief O'Brien: Ah, glad to be of service.

Chief O'Brien: The way you're acting, you'd think nobody with half a brain could possibly disagree with you.
Doctor Bashir: Frankly, I don't see how they can.
Chief O'Brien: I can see two possible explanations for it. Either I'm even more feeble-minded than you ever realized, or you're not as smart as you think you are.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Time's Orphan (#6.24)" (1998)
Molly O'Brien: I know what I'm going to be when I grow up.
Chief O'Brien: You do?
Molly O'Brien: M-hm. I'm going to be an exo-bologist.

Keiko O'Brien: I wonder if she realized that the little girl she was looking at was herself.
Chief O'Brien: I hope so. And I hope she realized that... in a way, she was going home too.

[Worf has been instructing Yoshi in hehh-duHpp]
Lt. Commander Worf: That's a Klingon exercise designed to teach children hand-eye coordination, so they will grow up to become warriors.
Doctor Bashir: Oh, I get it, the rattle is like, er, the baby's first bat'leth kind of thing.
Chief O'Brien: How'd he do?
Lt. Commander Worf: Uh, he acquitted himself well.
Chief O'Brien: Thanks for watching him.
[Worf is about to leave]
Doctor Bashir: Oh, Worf, um, you might want to leave the rattle, just in case Yoshi wants to practice his hehh-duHpping.

Molly O'Brien: [the O'Briens are going on a picnic] Can we bring Chester?
Keiko O'Brien: I don't think that would be a good idea, sweetie.
Chief O'Brien: He might get lost.
Keiko O'Brien: On second thought...


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: The House of Quark (#3.3)" (1994)
Chief O'Brien: [O'Brien enters Sisko's office, who is having a meeting with Kira and Dax] Oh, er, excuse me, sir. I can come back later.
Commander Sisko: No, no, no, no, we're done here. What can I do for you?
Chief O'Brien: Well, it's... it's kind of private.
Lieutenant Jadzia Dax: Wife problems, Chief?
Chief O'Brien: How did you know?
Lieutenant Jadzia Dax: Well, I've been a husband, and I've been a wife, and I know that look from both sides.

[O'Brien has prepared an impromptu dinner for Keiko, much to her surprise]
Chief O'Brien: I can't believe you've forgotten! It's 'I'm married to the most wonderful woman in the galaxy'-day. I marked it in your calendar!

Chief O'Brien: [Cheif O'Brien's planning to create an arboretum in a cargo bay for his wife, Keiko, to give her something to do] Do you think it'll work?
Doctor Bashir: Absolutely. For about 2 months. Then you'll be right back where you started.
Chief O'Brien: 2 months?
Doctor Bashir: Well, it's been my experience that during any serious disagreement, a smile and sweet words will buy you2 hours. Flowers buy you a week, an arboretum, well, that's at least 2 months.

Chief O'Brien: Be a botanist, Keiko. Be the best damned botanist in the galaxy.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Apocalypse Rising (#5.1)" (1996)
Chief O'Brien: So, let me get this straight: all we have to do is get past an enemy fleet, avoid a tachyon detection grid, beam into the middle of Klingon headquarters and avoid the Brotherhood of the Sword long enough to set these things up and activate them in front of Gowron?
Lt. Commander Worf: If we succeed, there will be many songs sung in our honor.
Chief O'Brien: Let's hope we're there to hear them.

Chief O'Brien: I hate prototypes.

Chief O'Brien: [as Pahash] It's not easy being funny wearing these teeth.

Chief O'Brien: You know, I think I'm actually beginning to like bloodwine.
Odo: It's really not too bad - except for the taste.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Destiny (#3.15)" (1995)
Gilora: Why didn't you tell me you replaced the secondary field coils?
Chief O'Brien: Well, if you had told me what you were planning to do, I would have.
Gilora: [sighs] I don't have time to explain everything.
Chief O'Brien: What - you think I won't be able to understand?
Gilora: It has been my experience that it...
Chief O'Brien: What? That Humans aren't good engineers?
Gilora: No, not Humans. Males.
Chief O'Brien: I beg your pardon?
Gilora: Men just don't seem to have a head for this sort of thing. That's why women dominate the sciences.
Chief O'Brien: Maybe on Cardassia. But on this station, this man is Chief of Operations, and I know more about these systems than anyone, including you.

Gilora: I'll try to figure out what we should do next.
Chief O'Brien: Well, I think our best bet would be to go...
Gilora: Please! Please, just give me a moment to think.
Chief O'Brien: [irritated] Fine. I'll just sit here quietly.
Gilora: Huh... In that case, could you get me a cup of red leaf tea?

[Gilora has mistaken O'Brien's gruff behavior for sexual advances toward her]
Gilora: [embarrassed] Oh, my. I'm afraid this is a case of... cross-cultural misunderstanding.
Chief O'Brien: [relieved] I think so. I'm not remotely interested in you.
[Gilora stares at him]
Chief O'Brien: That's not what I meant. No - you are very attractive, and I'm flattered of course...
Gilora: [sourly] Please, Mr. O'Brien, there's no need to continue. You've made your feelings clear.

Gilora: [before returning to Cardassia] What's your wife's name?
Chief O'Brien: Keiko.
Gilora: A lucky woman.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Badda-Bing, Badda-Bang (#7.15)" (1999)
Doctor Bashir: Miles - you thinking what I'm thinking?
Chief O'Brien: It depends on what you're thinking.

Chief O'Brien: Computer, delete characters Frankie Eyes and, er... I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name.
Tony Cicci: Cicci.
Doctor Bashir: Cicci.
Chief O'Brien: ...Cicci from the holosuite's program.
Tony Cicci: [to Frankie] What's a 'holosuites'?
Frankie Eyes: Beats me.

Doctor Bashir: Where have you been?
Chief O'Brien: I don't wanna talk about it.
[after possibly having been subjected to a strip search]

Chief O'Brien: Robbing casinos isn't part of any Starfleet job description I've ever read.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Sacrifice of Angels (#6.6)" (1997)
Garak: I feel sorry for the Klingons. They're going to miss a very interesting fight.
Chief O'Brien: I have a feeling we're gonna miss them.

Chief O'Brien: Cannon to the right of them, Cannon to the left of them, Cannon in front of them, Volley'd and thunder'd...
Doctor Bashir: Storm'd at with shot and shell, Boldly they rode and well, Into the jaws of Death, Into the mouth of Hell, Rode the six hundred.
Nog: Whatever it is you two are reciting, I wish you'd stop!

Garak: Er, Chief - how does that poem end?
Chief O'Brien: You don't wanna know.

[the Dominion ships in the wormhole have vanished into thin air]
Chief O'Brien: They've cloaked!
Lt. Commander Jadzia Dax: I'm not picking up any neutrino emissions.
Garak: Then... where did they go?
Captain Sisko: Wherever they went... I don't think they're coming back.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Change of Heart (#6.16)" (1998)
Chief O'Brien: [about tongo] You have absolutely no idea how this game is played, do you?
Lt. Commander Worf: No. But I have developed a new appreciation for it.
Chief O'Brien: Since when?
Lt. Commander Worf: Since I married a tongo player.

[Worf and O'Brien are running a bet - for a bottle of blood wine against a bottle of scotch whiskey respectively - about the outcome of a tongo game between Dax and 206-times-winner Quark, during which Dax seems to come out on top]
Lt. Commander Worf: [cheering, to O'Brien] I like my blood wine very young and very sweet.
Quark: [at the tongo table] Is he a friend of yours?
Lt. Commander Jadzia Dax: Just a fan.
Quark: I'm afraid I'm gonna have to disappoint all your fans.
[lays down his cards]
Lt. Commander Jadzia Dax: [disbelieving] A full consortium?
Chief O'Brien: [to Worf] 207. A single malt, preferably something from the Highlands.

[O'Brien tries to talk Bashir into playing tongo against Quark, but the Doctor is not interested]
Chief O'Brien: Think of it as a challenge.
Doctor Bashir: That's your obsession, Miles, not mine.
Chief O'Brien: Do it for the latinum.
Doctor Bashir: Nice try.
Chief O'Brien: Do it for the satisfaction of the look on Quark's face, when he's beaten at a game of tongo by a lowly "Hew-mon".
Doctor Bashir: Deal the cards.

[Bashir has lost to Quark in tongo, after some mischievous psycho-babble from the bartender]
Doctor Bashir: I can't believe I let him get to me.
Chief O'Brien: Ah, well. Not your fault. Genetically engineered or not, you're still hew-mon.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: The Storyteller (#1.13)" (1993)
Chief O'Brien: [trying to perform the Sirah's task as the storyteller] Once upon a time... th-there was a Dal'Rok...

Faren: May the Prophets grant you victory, Sirah.
Chief O'Brien: Let's hope so.

Chief O'Brien: Bloody hell!
[on the destructive power of the Dal'Rok]

Hovath: Wait! There is no need to run. A new voice appears, to challenge the Dal'Rok.
Chief O'Brien: It's about time!


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Shattered Mirror (#4.19)" (1996)
Chief O'Brien: Captain Bashir, Captain O'Brien, Captain Sisko. We may not have enough troops or ships or weapons, but we have plenty of captains!

Chief O'Brien: What good is glory when you're dead?

[Sisko has voluntarily taken command of the rebels' Defiant]
Chief O'Brien: Captain, you never cease to amaze me.
Captain Sisko: Sometimes I even surprise myself.

Chief O'Brien: [after Sisko has already taught O'Brien Evasive Pattern Delta] Shields are down to forty percent! That cruiser has us in weapons range! Do we make a run for it?
Captain Sisko: We run, all right - right at it!
Chief O'Brien: Ah. "Pattern Suicide".


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: The Way of the Warrior (#4.1)" (1995)
Doctor Bashir: Care for a game of darts?
Lt. Commander Worf: I do not play games.
Chief O'Brien: It's like poker... with pointed tips!

Quark: Am I glad we finally got rid of all those Klingons - er, present company excepted, of course.
[Worf stares at him, then gets up and leaves]
Chief O'Brien: I gotta hand it to you, Quark. You really know how to make your customers feel welcome.
[gets up and leaves as well]
Quark: What do I care? All he ever drinks is prune juice.

[Worf and O'Brien are reminiscing about their days on the Enterprise]
Lt. Commander Worf: We were like warriors from the ancient sagas. There was nothing we could not do.
Chief O'Brien: Except keep the holodecks working right.

[O'Brien is making upgrades on the station]
Chief O'Brien: I just hope everything works okay.
Major Kira: You're saying you're not sure?
Chief O'Brien: The way I see it, there are two possibilities: either everything will be fine, or...
Major Kira: Or?
Chief O'Brien: Or we'll end up blowing the station to pieces.
Major Kira: Oh... Well, let's hope we don't have to find out.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: The Abandoned (#3.6)" (1994)
Commander Sisko: [about Mardah] Quark may call her a dabo girl; but she's twenty years old. She's a woman, and Jake is a sixteen-year-old boy. It has to stop.
Chief O'Brien: Well, why did you invite her over, if you don't mind my asking?
Commander Sisko: Curiosity, mostly. I want to see what I was up against.
Chief O'Brien: What if it turns out you like her?
Commander Sisko: She's a dabo girl, she's dating my son - I don't want to like her.

Chief O'Brien: Sixteen years old and dating a dabo girl... Godspeed, Jake.

Chief O'Brien: [referring to the Founders] I still don't understand why they would engineer someone to be addicted to a certain chemical.
Odo: I suspect it's another way of ensuring the loyalty of the Jem'Hadar to the Founders. If your soldiers are addicted to a drug that can't be replicated and only you can provide, that gives you a great deal of control over them.
Chief O'Brien: Seems a pretty cold-blooded thing to do.
Odo: My people don't have blood, Chief.

Chief O'Brien: [seeing Jake walk by with Mardah] I thought you were gonna lower the boom on those two.
Commander Sisko: Well, I was; but some things came up at dinner I didn't expect.
Chief O'Brien: Ah - got to know her a little better, decided you liked her after all?
Commander Sisko: No, actually I got to know Jake a little better. Have you ever played dom-jot with him?
Chief O'Brien: Nope.
Commander Sisko: Don't.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Doctor Bashir, I Presume? (#5.16)" (1997)
[Dr. Bashir is to become the template for a new long-term medical holoprogram]
Chief O'Brien: Wow. Think of it, Julian. If this thing works, you will be able to irritate hundreds of people you've never even met.

Chief O'Brien: Then it's true? You're...
Dr. Julian Bashir: The word you're looking for is 'unnatural' - meaning 'not from nature'. 'Freak' or 'monster' would also be acceptable.

[last lines]
[Bashir and O'Brien are playing darts]
Dr. Julian Bashir: Looks like it's your game again.
Chief O'Brien: What's that? Five in a row?
Dr. Julian Bashir: At least!
Chief O'Brien: Wait a minute. You haven't been letting me win, have you?
Dr. Julian Bashir: [evasively] What makes you think that?
Chief O'Brien: You said your hand-eye coordination had been genetically enhanced.
Dr. Julian Bashir: Well, maybe I have been letting you win, a little bit.
Chief O'Brien: I don't believe it! I don't need you to patronize me! I can play at your level.
Dr. Julian Bashir: I never said you couldn't.
Chief O'Brien: Well, play then. Really play.
[Bashir throws his darts in quick succession. O'Brien surveys the board - Bashir has hit three times bullseye]
Chief O'Brien: All right. From now on...
[he moves Bashir a few steps backwards]
Chief O'Brien: ...you play from over here. I play from up here...
[goes back to his usual spot]
Chief O'Brien: If that doesn't work... we'll try a blindfold!


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Looking for par'Mach in All the Wrong Places (#5.3)" (1996)
Chief O'Brien: I can't go to the holosuite tonight. Kira and I have some things to work out.
Doctor Bashir: Ah, still fighting, eh?
Chief O'Brien: Who says we're fighting?
Doctor Bashir: Well, word gets around. It's a small station.
Chief O'Brien: It's a *huge* station!
Doctor Bashir: Obviously not huge enough.

Chief O'Brien: [about Kira] Oh, by the way, I almost forgot. She, er... she has a... rash on the back of her thighs. Do you have a salve or something?
Doctor Bashir: How long has she had it?
Chief O'Brien: Well, I noticed it yesterday when I was helping her out of the bathtub, so she's had it at least a day.
Doctor Bashir: [stunned] Helping her out of the tub?
Chief O'Brien: She's living in my house! She's having my baby!
Doctor Bashir: So, er... did you look?
Chief O'Brien: What? Oh, please. I was holding a towel up in front of her.
Doctor Bashir: How does Keiko feel about you helping Kira out of the tub?
Chief O'Brien: Keiko feels fine about it. You see, we are adults, and we've developed a close, mature relationship.
Doctor Bashir: Ha, I'm sure that Keiko and Kira have. But you?
Chief O'Brien: What about me?
Doctor Bashir: I bet you looked.

[O'Brien and Kira have decided not to go to Kira's very romantic cottage on Bajor together]
Chief O'Brien: Would've been nice.
Major Kira: In another life.
Chief O'Brien: Let's not even think about it.
Major Kira: All right, let's not.
[they both stay put staring at each other]
Major Kira: Miles.
Chief O'Brien: Yes, Nerys?
Major Kira: Get out!
Chief O'Brien: Right.


"Star Trek: The Next Generation: The Icarus Factor (#2.14)" (1989)
[Riker and O'Brien are seeing Dr. Pulaski and Riker's father in deep embrace]
Commander William T. Riker: [surprised] They know each other.
Chief Miles O'Brien: No kiddin'. I know her too; but we don't do *that*.

Chief Miles O'Brien: Those are Klingon painstiks. I once saw one of them used against a two-ton Rectyne monopod. Poor creature jumped five meters at the slightest touch. Finally died from excessive cephalic pressures.
Wesley Crusher: You mean...?
Chief Miles O'Brien: That's right. The animal's head exploded like...
Doctor Pulaski: I think that's enough, Chief O'Brien.

Chief Miles O'Brien: You choose your enemies; you choose your friends. But family - that's in the stars.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Explorers (#3.22)" (1995)
Chief O'Brien: You're not an in-between kind of guy.
Doctor Bashir: What do you mean?
Chief O'Brien: Well, people either love you, or hate you.
Doctor Bashir: Really?
Chief O'Brien: I mean... I hated you, when we first met.
Doctor Bashir: I remember.
Chief O'Brien: But now...
Doctor Bashir: And now?
Chief O'Brien: Well... now I don't.
Doctor Bashir: That means a lot to me, Chief, it really does.
Chief O'Brien: Really. Now... and that is from the heart, hm? Mm... I really do... not hate you anymore.

[a very drunk Bashir wants to confront Dr. Lense for ignoring him earlier]
Chief O'Brien: Better wait until tomorrow.
Doctor Bashir: Why? Why not right now?
Chief O'Brien: Because you can barely stand up, right now.
Doctor Bashir: Good point. Good point. Good point...

[O'Brien has doubts that the ancient Bajoran solar vessels were capable of space exploration]
Major Kira: You sound just like a Cardassian.
Chief O'Brien: I beg your pardon?
Major Kira: They have denied the possibility of ancient contact for decades, because they cannot stand the idea of Bajor having interstellar flight before they did.
Chief O'Brien: With all due respect, Major, you're beginning to sound like a Romulan.
Major Kira: A Romulan?
Chief O'Brien: There is no piece of technology in existence they don't claim they invented before everyone else.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Homefront (#4.10)" (1996)
[Bashir and O'Brien come out of a holosuite, dressed in WW II flying jackets and caps]
Quark: So, what can I get you two fly-boys?
Doctor Bashir: Scotch. Neat. And a pint of your finest bitter for my mate.
Chief O'Brien: [with English accent] And make it quick. The cabbage crates'll be coming back over the briny any minute now.
Quark: All right, all right! I'd hate to let the Jerries strafe that green and pleasant land of yours, while the two of you were taking time out to get a drink.
Doctor Bashir: No choice, man. Ritual, you know.
[they raise their glasses]
Chief O'Brien: [English accent] To Clive, the best bloke ever to prang his kite into the Channel.
Doctor Bashir: Ah, gotta keep a stiff upper lip.
Chief O'Brien: Hear, hear.
Doctor Bashir: Down the hatch!
[and both chug their drinks in one gulp]

Lt. Commander Worf: Our gods are dead. Ancient Klingon warriors slew them a millennia ago. They were more trouble than they were worth.
Major Kira: I don't think I'll ever understand Klingons.
Chief O'Brien: Don't worry about it, Major. Nobody does. It's the way they like it.

Chief O'Brien: You probably wouldn't understand this, Quark, but... when you care about a place and it's in trouble and you wanna do something about it, and you can't, it's very frustrating.
Quark: I know exactly what you mean. When the Great Monetary Collapse hit Ferenginar, I was hundreds of light years away, serving as a ship's cook on a long-haul freighter. I can't tell you the heartbreak I suffered, knowing that rampant inflation and currency devaluation were burning like wildfires through the lush financial foliage of my home! It still depresses me even today. I remembered thinking my accounts needed me, and there was nothing I could do. I-I-I felt so... so helpless! So you see - I do understand.
Chief O'Brien: Somehow, you telling me that doesn't make me feel the least bit better.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: The Homecoming (#2.1)" (1993)
Major Kira: How do I look?
Chief O'Brien: I doubt there's a Cardassian alive who could resist you.
Major Kira: I hope you're right.
Chief O'Brien: So do I.

Chief O'Brien: [after getting past the post] Tell me, Major, who is this Gul Marayn?
Major Kira: Don't ask me - I just made him up.

Chief O'Brien: [on the graffiti of the Circle on DS9] If they think scrawling a few signs is gonna get rid of us, they got another thing coming.
Commander Sisko: Right now, they're just trying to show us that we're vulnerable.
Odo: I wouldn't be overly concerned, Commander; this section is a low security area.
Commander Sisko: As of now, Constable, there are no low securities on this station.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Cardassians (#2.5)" (1993)
Kotan Pa'Dar: Mister O'Brien, I know very little about Human culture, I don't know how you view the family.
Chief O'Brien: We'd do almost anything to protect our families. I've a daughter myself; she's four - the same age your son was when you lost him.
Kotan Pa'Dar: Then I expect you can imagine what I'm feeling right now. On Cardassia, family is everything. We care for our parents and children with equal devotion. In some households, four generations eat at the same table. Family... is everything.

Doctor Bashir: The damnedest thing just happened - Garak the tailor was attacked.
Odo: Attacked? Where?
Doctor Bashir: At the replimat. He was bitten in the hand.
Lieutenant Jadzia Dax: Another unsatisfied customer?
Chief O'Brien: He always cuts the pants too long.

Kotan Pa'Dar: Mister O'Brien, I know very little about Human customs, I don't know how you view the family.
Chief O'Brien: We'd do almost anything to protect them. I've got a little girl myself. She's 6, the same age as Rugal was when you lost him.
Kotan Pa'Dar: Than you can imagine how I feel. On Cardassia, family is everything. We care for our parents and our children with equal devotion. In some houses 4 generations eat at the same table. Family - is everything.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Sons of Mogh (#4.14)" (1996)
[O'Brien and Kira are returning to DS9 in a runabout]
Major Kira: [waking from a long nap] How long have I been asleep?
Chief O'Brien: Seven hours.
Major Kira: I don't get seven hours sleep at the station!
Chief O'Brien: Must be the company.

Major Kira: I am so hungry, I could even eat Quark's food.
Chief O'Brien: Let's not get crazy.

Major Kira: Detonate all the mines in grids 22 alpha through 47 gamma.
[a series of explosions occur in space, and several cloaked Klingon Birds of Prey flee the explosions]
Chief O'Brien: Just like flushing quail.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Q-Less (#1.6)" (1993)
Chief O'Brien: Vash and Captain Picard were friends - close friends, if you follow my meaning. Seems they met on Risa a few years back. I figured she must be a special woman being friends with the Captain at all.
Commander Sisko: Somehow she doesn't seem to be his type.
Chief O'Brien: The Captain likes a good challenge, sir.

Chief O'Brien: Why don't you do something constructive for a change, like torment Cardassians?
Q: Do I know you?
Chief O'Brien: O'Brien, from the Enterprise.
Q: Enterprise? Oh, yes! Weren't you one of the little people?

Doctor Bashir: [Bashir is on the Replimat, waiting for Vash when Q disguised as a Bajoran waiter comes up to him] Oh, just a cup of mint tea, please.
Q: [tutting] You're making a terrible mistake.
Doctor Bashir: Why? Oh, the replicators haven't malfunctioned again?
Q: I'm talking about Vash. Stay away from her.
Doctor Bashir: My God! You're an impertinent waiter!
Q: I'm a friend. I'm trying to give friendly advice. She's nothing but trouble.
Doctor Bashir: Really? Well, I don't think it's any of your business who I see. In fact, I'm meeting her now...
Q: [concerned] Are you sure you're up to it? You look tired.
Doctor Bashir: [getting up to leave] I feel fine...
Q: No, no, no. You look very, very tired.
[Q yawns]
Doctor Bashir: [Bashir does the same] Actually, I do feel a bit spent. Maybe I should lie down for a while.
Q: [to himself] Hopefully by yourself for a change.
Chief O'Brien: [O'Brien's also at the Replimat and recognises the waiter. He hurries off to Ops while saying to himself] Bloody hell!


"Star Trek: The Next Generation: Realm of Fear (#6.2)" (1992)
[Lt. Barclay has asked O'Brien to beam him over to the USS Yosemite and back again]
Barclay: Commander La Forge wants some tricorder readings on those fluctuations.
Chief Miles O'Brien: We can do that from right here.
Barclay: No, I... the... the transporter sensors may not be sensitive enough. Now, I'm giving you an order... Mr. O'Brien.
Chief Miles O'Brien: Aye, sir.
[he programs the transporter]
Chief Miles O'Brien: You don't mind my making an observation, sir? You forgot to bring a tricorder.

[last lines]
[O'Brien has introduced Christina, his pet spider, to Barclay]
Barclay: She's... very large.
Chief Miles O'Brien: I found her on Titus IV. Almost stepped on her by accident.
[Barclay starts to feel uneasy]
Chief Miles O'Brien: Oh, I'll... get us a couple of drinks, okay? Keep an eye on her, will you?
Barclay: Sure.
[O'Brien leaves. Christina meanwhile climbs on Barclay's arm]
Barclay: Er - Chief...?

Barclay: [working with O'Brien on the transporter] You know, maybe ignorance really is bliss.
Chief Miles O'Brien: Sir?
Barclay: Well, if I didn't know so much about these things, maybe they wouldn't scare me so much.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Favor the Bold (#6.5)" (1997)
Ensign Nog: Can you believe it? They made me an ensign.
O'Brien: I didn't realize things were going so bad.
Ensign Nog: Scary, isn't it?

Chief O'Brien: Here's to retaking the castle.
Doctor Bashir: And planting our flag on its battlements once again.
Lt. Commander Jadzia Dax: You two spend too much time in the holosuites.

Ensign Nog: We have company, Captain. Two Dominion ships heading this way, bearing 197 mark 135.
Chief O'Brien: They'll have us in weapons range in 22 seconds.
Lt. Commander Jadzia Dax: Shields?
Ensign Nog: Shields at 30 percent.
Lt. Commander Jadzia Dax: Phaser banks?
Chief O'Brien: The entire weapons array is offline.
Lt. Commander Jadzia Dax: Now we find something to hold on to...


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Field of Fire (#7.13)" (1999)
[Bashir is talking about the mythology around the Alamo]
Doctor Bashir: ...There was this notion that a man could have a special relationship with a weapon. Some frontiersmen even went so far as to give their rifles names, female ones at that, thus changing the relationship between owner and object to something resembling man and woman.
Chief O'Brien: Hm. Maybe I'll start calling my tricorder 'Sally'.

[the crew are analyzing Illario's death]
Chief O'Brien: [scanning the corpse] That's odd... According to these readings, the bullet only traveled eight or nine centimeters.
Captain Sisko: Then the killer must have fired at point blank range.
Odo: I don't think so. There are no powder burns on the body.
Doctor Bashir: What are powder burns?
Odo: At close range, chemically propelled weapons leave residual combustion products on the skin and clothing of the victims.
Captain Sisko: How did you know that?
Odo: I read 20th century crime novels - Raymond Chandler, Mike Hammer, that sort of thing.

Chief O'Brien: [of Illario] We really should've let him come to the holosuite with us.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: A Time to Stand (#6.1)" (1997)
Nog: I still don't see why we couldn't install a few chairs on the bridge.
Chief O'Brien: Because this ship wasn't designed for chairs.
Nog: Well, my feet aren't designed to stand for long periods of time. They get tired.
Chief O'Brien: Maybe we should leave you behind.
Nog: My feet might like that, but I wouldn't.
Chief O'Brien: It's not your feet you need to worry about, it's your stomach. Have you noticed? There isn't a single food replicator anywhere on this ship.
Nog: That shouldn't be a problem. Captain Sisko said there'll be plenty of field rations.
Chief O'Brien: Try eating field rations for three weeks, and then tell me it isn't a problem.

Doctor Bashir: I'm so glad that you find the lack of proper medical facilities amusing; but if trouble breaks out, it's not a viewscreen or a chair or even a sandwich you'll be wanting. It's a bio-bed, with a surgical tissue regenerator.
Lieutenant Commander Jadzia Dax: Maybe. But right now I would settle for a viewscreen.
Nog: Or a chair.
Chief O'Brien: Or a sandwich.

Lieutenant Commander Jadzia Dax: Twenty-two seconds until the explosion.
Nog: Twenty-two seconds - that's plenty of time!
Chief O'Brien: See, Cadet, there's nothing to worry about.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Starship Down (#4.6)" (1995)
Chief O'Brien: The Captain's gotten us out of tougher spots than this. Last year, when the Romulans tried to invade the Founders' homeworld, we went up against a dozen Jem'Hadar ships.
Stevens: I know, Chief, uh... you've told me the story.
Chief O'Brien: Oh, yeah? Well, unless you want to hear it again, you'd better get down to the torpedo bay and start working on those probes.

Stevens: I think we should route the generator output through the secondary power grid.
Muñiz: We'll have to recalibrate the ODN manifold.
Stevens: That'll overload the whole system. What a mess.
Muñiz: Nah, we'll worry about that tomorrow.
Stevens: Yeah, it's easy for you to say. It's your day off.
Chief O'Brien: Don't count on it.

[O'Brien has advised Worf earlier to go a little easier on the Engineering personnel]
Lt. Commander Worf: How long will the repairs take?
Stevens: Sixteen hours.
Chief O'Brien: Oh, you can do it in twelve.
Stevens: Twelve. Sure. No problem.
[walks off a little less enthusiastic]
Chief O'Brien: [to Worf] See? You can give 'em a little slack; but you can't take your hands off the reins.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Babel (#1.4)" (1993)
Major Kira: You look like you could use some sleep.
Chief O'Brien: Who's time for sleep? I'd settle for five minutes peace and quiet.
[in the background, Sisko is burning his lips on a too hot coffee]
Commander Sisko: Chief! I thought you were gonna fix the replicators.
Chief O'Brien: [disgruntled] You're absolutely right, sir, I knew I'd forgotten something! Can't have the operations chief sitting around daydreaming when there's work to be done, can we? Hohohoho, I'll get right on it!

Chief O'Brien: "Fix the replicators, chief." "My console's offline, chief." Should've transferred to a cargo drone. No people, no complaints.

Major Kira: I suppose this isn't a good time to tell you that no. 3 turbolift has broken down again?
[O'Brien looks at her confused]
Major Kira: Joking, Chief.
Chief O'Brien: Major larks true pepper.
Major Kira: What?
Chief O'Brien: Let birds go further loose, maybe. Shout easy play.
Major Kira: Chief... you're not making any sense.
Chief O'Brien: Round the turbulent quick - Close the reverse harbor - A-ankle try... sound - R-reset gleaming - Di-dinner to bug.
[he moves away from her]
Major Kira: Chief, wait!
Chief O'Brien: When?


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: The Changing Face of Evil (#7.20)" (1999)
[On the Defiant, the crew is going through the pre-flight procedure]
Nog: This is bad, very bad.
Colonel Kira: You say that every time we take the Defiant into battle.
Nog: Impulse manifold purged and clear. - If we lose the Chin'toka system, we lose our only foothold in the Dominion territory. I think that qualifies as bad.
Colonel Kira: Oh, we haven't lost it yet. - Initiating impulse pre-start sequence.
Nog: Microfusion generators online. - But the Breen, they seem unstoppable. First Earth, now Chin'toka?
Lt. Commander Worf: Ensign, no one is unstoppable. - Collimate the nadion emitters.
Nog: Collimation sequence in progress.
[Bashir and O'Brien enter the bridge]
Doctor Bashir: What more can I say, Miles, but 'I'm sorry'?
Chief O'Brien: Dilithium matrix is aligned and calibrated. - Just be a bit more careful, that's all I ask.
Colonel Kira: Opening antimatter injector ports. - Trouble in paradise?
Doctor Bashir: It was nothing. - Emergency life support and damage control systems standing by.
Chief O'Brien: I wouldn't call it nothing.
Lieutenant Ezri Dax: Autonomous guidance system initialized and active.
Chief O'Brien: He lost Travis.
Colonel Kira: Hm - sounds serious. - Verify astrometric database.
Doctor Bashir: Miles built this Alamo model, replete with small figures. Quite spectacular, actually. - Data sets loaded and verified. - Anyway, he was showing it to me in Quark's when we - rather I - accidentally misplaced Colonel Travis.
Nog: Phaser safeties engaged. - Can't you make another one?
Chief O'Brien: What, so he can lose it again? - Field stabilizers online.
Colonel Kira: [playfully] Well, that's what happens when you share your toys. - Synchronizing warp plasma flow...
Chief O'Brien: It's not a toy! It's a model, built to scale.
Doctor Bashir: He really did a fantastic job.
Chief O'Brien: Nacelles holding at pre-warp threshold.
Doctor Bashir: Miles, look...

Captain Sisko: [of the Defiant] She's a fine ship.
Chief O'Brien: No one will argue with that. But like you say, it's time to go.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: His Way (#6.20)" (1998)
Chief O'Brien: Julian, are you telling me that you discussed your love life with a hologram?
Doctor Bashir: He's not an ordinary hologram, Miles. He knows about love, life, women!
Chief O'Brien: Three things you know nothing about?
Doctor Bashir: Now, that's a little unfair.
Chief O'Brien: Well, then why are you asking the advice from a 'light bulb'?

Vic Fontaine: If you're gonna work Vegas in the '60s, you better know the score. Otherwise you're gonna look like a Clyde.
Major Kira: A Clyde?
Vic Fontaine: A Harvey, you know?
Lt. Commander Worf: Harvey?
Vic Fontaine: A square. You know what a square is, right?
Chief O'Brien: It's one side of a cube.
Vic Fontaine: Well, I guess that answers my question.


"Star Trek: The Next Generation: Booby Trap (#3.6)" (1989)
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: [of the Promellian battle cruiser] It is exactly as they left it, Number One - 'in the bottle'.
[Data and Worf, like Riker earlier, look at him rather blankly]
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: The ship in the bottle... Oh, good Lord, didn't anybody here build ships in bottles when they were boys?
Lieutenant Worf: I did not play with toys.
Lt. Commander Data: I was never a boy.
Chief Miles O'Brien: I did, sir.
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: [pleased] Thank you, Mr. O'Brien.

Chief Miles O'Brien: [to a doubtful looking Riker] I did! I really did! Ships in bottles? Was great fun!


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Tears of the Prophets (#6.26)" (1998)
[Sisko has been honored with the Christopher Pike Medal of Valor]
Lt. Commander Jadzia Dax: To think I knew him when he was just a callow youth.
Chief O'Brien: Oh, I bet even then he showed signs of greatness.

Chief O'Brien: You got here early.
Garak: This is a momentous occasion. It's not every day I embark on a journey to liberate my home world.
Chief O'Brien: That's one way to put it.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Crossover (#2.23)" (1994)
["Smiley" O'Brien has refused to help Bashir escape]
Doctor Bashir: Just tell me where the runabout pads are. I know you, Miles O'Brien. Somewhere inside of you there is a shred of decency. There has to be.
Smiley O'Brien: I *am* a decent man. I just... I just... You don't understand, I can't help you, I-I can't. They'll kill me.
Doctor Bashir: You're already dead. I'm sorry you don't see that. The life inside every human being here, every Terran, died a long time ago.

Intendant Kira: And you... O'Brien, you... tinkerer and putterer and... fixer of broken things - you've been the perfect theta for years. What could possibly've gotten into you? What were you thinking?
Smiley O'Brien: Do you want an answer, Intendant?
Intendant Kira: Yes.
Smiley O'Brien: [referring to Bashir] This man... this man... is a doctor where he comes from. And there's an O'Brien there just like me. Except he's some kind of... high up Chief of Operations. And they're Terrans. Can you believe that? Maybe it's a fairy tale he made up, but... it started me thinking, how... how each of us might've turned out, if history had been just a little different. I wanted him to take me with him. Because, whatever it's like where he's from, it's got to be better than this. There's got to be something better than this.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Dramatis Personae (#1.17)" (1993)
Chief O'Brien: Anyone who's against Sisko is against me.

Chief O'Brien: [to Odo] Don't the Commander and I always try to make you happy?
[smiles shrewdly]


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Take Me Out to the Holosuite (#7.4)" (1998)
[during the baseball game, Odo, as umpire, didn't make a call after a player scored]
Nog: What's wrong?
Chief O'Brien: He didn't touch home, Nog!
Nog: Is that true?
[Odo harrumphs]
Nog: Wha- what do I do?
Worf: Find him and kill him!

Doctor Bashir: What are you eating?
Chief O'Brien: I'm not eating, I'm chewing.
Doctor Bashir: Chewing what?
Chief O'Brien: Gum. It's traditional. I had the replicator create me some.
Doctor Bashir: They just chewed it?
Chief O'Brien: No, they infused the gum with flavor.
Doctor Bashir: What did you infuse it with?
Chief O'Brien: Scotch.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: The Forsaken (#1.16)" (1993)
[O'Brien is getting upset with the station computer]
Commander Sisko: Relax, Chief, it's just a computer.
Chief O'Brien: This is no computer. This is my archenemy!

Chief O'Brien: Working with the Enterprise computer was like dancing a waltz. With this computer, it's always been like a wrestling match.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Body Parts (#4.24)" (1996)
Chief O'Brien: [about Keiko] Do you know what she wanted to do last week?
Lt. Commander Jadzia Dax: What?
Chief O'Brien: She wanted to go back to Bajor and rappel down the Cliffs of Undalar, to get a fungus sample. Rappel to get fungus! It's as if I have to remind her that she's pregnant!
Lt. Commander Jadzia Dax: Yeah. I guess the extra weight, the morning sickness, the mood swings, the medical examinations, they aren't reminders enough.

Molly O'Brien: Are you my aunt?
Major Kira: W-well...
Chief O'Brien: Sounds right to me.
Major Kira: [nods] Aunt Nerys.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Meridian (#3.8)" (1994)
Lieutenant Jadzia Dax: The gravimetric distortions are intensifying. But they don't seem to be coming from the star itself.
Chief O'Brien: But where else could they be coming from? There aren't any planets in this system.
[the Defiant receives a heavy jolt, and before her appears a planet out of nowhere]
Lieutenant Jadzia Dax: There are now...

[Deral gives Dax a fruit to taste]
Lieutenant Jadzia Dax: It's delicious.
Deral: Especially if you've been looking forward to it for sixty years.
Lieutenant Jadzia Dax: Sixty years?
Deral: Mmm.
Chief O'Brien: Phew - that's a long time between meals.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: It's Only a Paper Moon (#7.10)" (1998)
Chief O'Brien: I'm an engineer, not a philosopher.

Chief O'Brien: [in the holosuite as Nog tries to get Vic's program running] You know... Vic's matrix is a little different than your standard photokinetic hologram. He can turn himself off. And if he doesn't want to appear... he doesn't appear
Nog: You mean he has free will?
Chief O'Brien: I'm an engineer, not a philosopher. All I know is that when Vic turns himself off, he's off, and ripping out the guts of the holosuite isn't going to change that.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Chimera (#7.14)" (1999)
Chief O'Brien: Where is all this fog coming from?
Odo: It's not fog; it's Laas.
Chief O'Brien: Laas?
Doctor Bashir: What's he doing?
Odo: Being fog. What's it look like?
Chief O'Brien: Can't he be fog somewhere else?
Doctor Bashir: Or at night, when nobody's around?
Odo: He's not hurting anyone.
Chief O'Brien: Still - it's kinda creepy.
Doctor Bashir: Careful, Miles, he might hear you.
Chief O'Brien: Good!

Laas: The truth is, I prefer the so-called primitive life forms. They exist as they were meant to, by following... their instincts. No words get in the way, no... lies, no deceptions.
Chief O'Brien: We're not the ones who can disguise ourselves as anything we want.
Odo: Meaning...?
Laas: Meaning, shapeshifters are not to be trusted.
Chief O'Brien: I trust Odo.
Laas: Of course you trust Odo. Look at him. You've convinced him that he is as limited as you are.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Tacking Into the Wind (#7.22)" (1999)
[O'Brien has come up with a plan how to lure a Section 31 agent to DS9]
Doctor Bashir: I think it's a plan. A very good plan. When did you get so devious?
Chief O'Brien: I've been hanging around you too long.

Chief O'Brien: Julian, it's time to face facts: you're not gonna pull a rabbit out of your medkit.
Doctor Bashir: You wanna face facts? Face this fact: Section 31 have managed to stay in hiding for three *hundred* years. They're not gonna come scurrying into the light just because Miles O'Brien and Julian Bashir are on the case.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: The Sound of Her Voice (#6.25)" (1998)
Chief O'Brien: I have this... this growing sense of isolation. I see people, I... talk to them, I laugh with them... But some part of me is always saying... "They may not be here tomorrow. Don't get too close."

[last lines]
Chief O'Brien: I never shook her hand, and I never saw her face. But she... she made me laugh... and she made me weep. She was all by herself, and, and I was surrounded by my friends. Yet I felt more alone than she did. We've grown apart, the lot of us. We didn't mean for it to happen; but it did. The war changed us, pulled us apart. Lisa Cusak was my friend. But you are also my friends, and I want my friends in my life. Because someday we're gonna wake up, and we're gonna find that someone is missing from this circle. And on that day, we're gonna mourn. And we shouldn't have to mourn alone. To Lisa, and the sweet sound of her voice.


"Star Trek: The Next Generation: Power Play (#5.15)" (1992)
[a storm is approaching the crew's position]
Chief Miles O'Brien: I'd really like to get us out of here before it hits, Commander. I'm supposed to be feeding the baby lunch. Molly gets in a terribly foul mood if I'm late.

[last lines]
Chief Miles O'Brien: If I could have killed that thing inside me, I would have.
Keiko O'Brien: [holding Molly in her arms] I know. We both know!


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Shadows and Symbols (#7.2)" (1998)
Quark: We're risking our lives to help Jadzia get into Sto-vo-kor. The very least Worf could do is show us some appreciation. Is it so hard to say 'thank you'?
Doctor Bashir: Thank you.
Quark: Nice try, Doctor, but I wanna hear it from him.
Chief O'Brien: Don't do this, Quark.
Quark: Do what? All I'm asking for is two little words.
Lt. Commander Worf: Be quiet!
Quark: That's two words all right. Just not the two I was hoping for.

Quark: I don't believe it. Gagh for Breakfast, Gagh for Lunch, Gagh for Dinner... Am I the only one who thinks Klingon menus need to have more variety?
Chief O'Brien: You want to complain about their Gagh, fine with me but don't complain about it when we're in the Mess Hall sitting at a table surrounded by a dozen Klingons.
Quark: All right I get the point.
Doctor Bashir: Good.
Quark: But I'm telling you I think some of those Klingons agreed with me.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: The Dogs of War (#7.24)" (1999)
Lieutenant Ezri Dax: I didn't know we were getting another Defiant-class ship.
Captain Sisko: That's what happens when you miss staff meetings.
Chief O'Brien: Looks... just like her.
Captain Sisko: Let's hope she fights like her.

Chief O'Brien: [on Bashir and Dax] I don't get it. He's interested, she's interested... What's the problem?
Lt. Commander Worf: He is an overgrown child, and she is very... confused.
Chief O'Brien: It could still work.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Business as Usual (#5.18)" (1997)
[Jake has offered to babysit the O'Briens' baby]
Chief O'Brien: You're sure you're up to it?
Jake Sisko: Absolutely. I babysat Ensign Pran's hatchlings a couple of times - made sure those little wings didn't get all tangled.
Chief O'Brien: Kirayoshi doesn't have little wings.
Jake Sisko: Even better!

Sisko: Chief, why don't you take off for a few days until Keiko gets back? I think we can manage without you for that long.
Chief O'Brien: Oh, that won't be necessary, sir. I have the situation well in hand.
Sisko: What I'm trying to say is that keeping Kirayoshi in the pit is not an acceptable solution. Find another one.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: If Wishes Were Horses (#1.15)" (1993)
Chief O'Brien: I know what you look like. But you're not...
Rumpelstiltskin: Na, don't say it! I don't like the sound of it, you know.
Chief O'Brien: Rumpelstiltskin!
Rumpelstiltskin: [winces and looks at O'Brien quizzically] Now, you didn't think that would make me break in two and disappear, did you? Not this time. I learned my lesson back in the kingdom. I don't make deals like that anymore.

Rumpelstiltskin: You're afraid - of me!
Chief O'Brien: Look, figment, I'm not afraid of anybody - least of all you!


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: When It Rains... (#7.21)" (1999)
[Dr. Bashir is analyzing a glass container filled with a liquid substance]
Chief O'Brien: Is that Odo?
Dr. Julian Bashir: Part of him, anyway.

[last lines]
Dr. Julian Bashir: 31 isn't just trying to stop us from finding a cure. They're trying to cover up the fact that they set out to commit genocide.
Chief O'Brien: Well, if they gave Odo this disease, then they must have a cure.
Dr. Julian Bashir: We have to find a way to get our hands on that cure.
Chief O'Brien: Huh... Before 31 gets their hands on us.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: For the Cause (#4.21)" (1996)
[O'Brien and Worf are discussing the Maquis]
Lt. Commander Worf: They should be hunted down and destroyed!
Chief O'Brien: What for? Defending their homes? Look at what's happened to those people. One day they're eking out a living in some godforsaken colonies on the Cardassian border; the next day the Federation makes a treaty, handing those colonies over to the Cardassians. What would you do?
Lt. Commander Worf: I would not become a terrorist. It would be dishonorable.
Chief O'Brien: I wouldn't say that around Major Kira if I were you.

Chief O'Brien: How about you, Commander? How do you feel about the Maquis?
Michael Eddington: I don't have have any feelings about them one way or the other.
Chief O'Brien: Oh, but you must have an opinion.
Michael Eddington: I do my job, Chief. Starfleet says to find the Maquis, I'll find the Maquis; they tell me to help them, I'll help them; my opinion is irrelevant. What matters to me is doing my job like a Starfleet officer. Anything else... is an indulgence.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: The Adversary (#3.26)" (1995)
[O'Brien is faced with two Odos, one of them an impostor]
Odo II: You'd better make a decision. We're running out of time.
Chief O'Brien: I 've got more important things to do than play 'choose the Changeling'!

[having lost any control of the Defiant's systems, Sisko has initiated the auto-destruct sequence]
Chief O'Brien: I think I may be able to shut down the Changeling's force fields, and gain access to the sabotaged systems. The only problem is, we may lose our force fields too.
Federation Computer: Auto-destruct in seven minutes.
Captain Sisko: Just tell me how long it will take.
Chief O'Brien: Well, I guess it'll have to be less than seven minutes, won't it?
Captain Sisko: That'd be my suggestion.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Little Green Men (#4.7)" (1995)
[Bashir and O'Brien are giving Nog a goodbye present for his trip to Earth]
Nog: A guidebook?
Chief O'Brien: It's not just a guidebook. It's a completely interactive program detailing Earth's customs, culture, history, geography...
Doctor Bashir: Everything you ever wanted to know about Earth is right there in that PADD.
Nog: You mean it'll teach me how to attract Human females?
Chief O'Brien: Well - almost everything.

Lt. Cmdr. Worf: Ferengi at the Academy. I am not sure that is wise.
Chief O'Brien: Oh, I don't know about that. Not so long ago, someone might have said the same thing about you.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: By Inferno's Light (#5.15)" (1997)
Chief O'Brien: They're still not responding to our hails.
Captain Sisko: I think they're trying to intimidate us.
Chief O'Brien: It's working.

Chief O'Brien: Four weeks? Are you telling me I've been hanging around a Changeling for over a month?
Doctor Bashir: And you never even suspected it wasn't me?
Chief O'Brien: No. And the worst part is, the clues were right in front of me.
Doctor Bashir: What clues?
Chief O'Brien: Well, for one thing, he... was a lot easier to get along with.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Chrysalis (#7.5)" (1998)
Chief O'Brien: Julian, why don't you show everybody how much you love me and order the next round?

Chief O'Brien: [referring to Bashir's relationship with Sarina] I haven't seen you like this for a long time; and I'm really happy for you. But don't you think it's all happening just a little too fast?
Doctor Bashir: We're genetically engineered. We do everything fast.


"Star Trek: The Next Generation: Disaster (#5.5)" (1991)
[Ro has established power to the bridge's engineering station]
Chief Miles O'Brien: How did you do that?
Ro Laren: I diverted power from the phaser array and I dumped it into the engineering control system.
Chief Miles O'Brien: You what?
Ro Laren: Engineering station's online, Counselor.
Chief Miles O'Brien: But tha... that's a completely improper procedure!

[Picard is about to give a tour of the ship to Marissa, Jay Gordon and Patterson]
Chief Miles O'Brien: I'm not sure who to feel sorry for - the Captain or the kids.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Ferengi Love Songs (#5.20)" (1997)
Rom: Latinum lasts longer than lust - Rule of Acquisition 229.
Chief O'Brien: Maybe, but lust can be a lot more fun.

[after O'Brien has brought Rom and Leeta back together]
Doctor Bashir: Well done, Chief. Or should I call you 'Cupid'?
Chief O'Brien: What can I say? I'm just an incurable romantic.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Playing God (#2.17)" (1994)
Chief O'Brien: [reading] "It worked in Hamelin".
[Bashir's note to his "solution" against the vole plague: a flute]


"Star Trek: The Next Generation: Darmok (#5.2)" (1991)
[Chief O'Brien is trying to beam Picard back]
Chief Miles O'Brien: I've got a piece of him, Commander, but that's all.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: The Siege (#2.3)" (1993)
Chief O'Brien: Sir, can I ask you something?
Commander Sisko: Sure.
Chief O'Brien: About Li Nalas.
Commander Sisko: M-hm.
Chief O'Brien: Well, listening to Kira talk about all he was, all he did, all he was going through... She makes him sound like he was larger than life, like he was some kind of military genius. But the Li Nalas I...
Commander Sisko: Chief, Li Nalas was the hero of the Bajoran resistance. He performed extraordinary acts of courage for his people and died for their freedom. That's how the history books on Bajor will be written, and that's how I'll remember him, when anybody asks.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: For the Uniform (#5.13)" (1997)
Chief O'Brien: With most of the bridge control functions offline, all orders to Engineering will have to be relayed. In the interest of clarity, I thought it best that those messages be relayed with one voice:
Chief O'Brien: [indicates Nog] Mr. Academy here. I figured you'd want somebody who could hear you while the bridge is exploding all around you.
Nog: [alarmed] Exploding?
Sisko: We may be going into a combat situation. Do you think you're ready for that, Cadet?
Nog: Sir, yes, sir! Absolutely, sir!
Sisko: I'm glad to hear it. Report to the bridge.
Nog: Aye, sir.
Nog: [walks off despondently] Exploding...


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: The Jem'Hadar (#2.26)" (1994)
[a Jem'Hadar ship has made a suicide run against the Odyssey and caused it to explode]
Chief O'Brien: [aghast] We were retreating. There was no need for a suicide run.
Sisko: They're showing us how far they're willing to go.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Crossfire (#4.12)" (1996)
Chief O'Brien: [at Shakaar's reception] I don't know why Captain Sisko insists on having *me* here. I'm not a senior officer.
Doctor Bashir: Well, maybe he just wanted to see you in your dress uniform. It does show off your figure.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Children of Time (#5.22)" (1997)
Molly: Aren't you gonna help?
Chief O'Brien: I'm busy.
Molly: You don't look busy.
Captain Sisko: [laughs] She's an O'Brien all right.


"Star Trek: The Next Generation: Pen Pals (#2.15)" (1989)
[Data is about to beam down to the planet]
Commander William T. Riker: O'Brien, take a nap, you didn't see any of this, you're not involved.
Chief Miles O'Brien: Right, sir, I'll just be standing over here dozing off.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Prodigal Daughter (#7.11)" (1999)
Chief O'Brien: I'm not looking forward to seeing Captain Sisko. He has a boot with my name on it.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Broken Link (#4.25)" (1996)
Chief O'Brien: It's funny - I've served on half a dozen ships, and none of them have had cloaking devices except the Defiant. Now that we're not using it I feel... naked.
Lt. Commander Worf: It is disconcerting, to say the least.
Captain Sisko: Gentlemen, I feel the same breeze you do.
[Dax smiles to herself]
Chief O'Brien: What're you smiling at?
Lt. Commander Jadzia Dax: I don't know, I guess it's just being in the same room with so many naked men.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: The Nagus (#1.10)" (1993)
Chief O'Brien: [of Jake] If he were my son, I'd find a friend for him other than Nog.
Commander Sisko: I'm afraid that's easier said than done. The two of them have become inseparable.
Chief O'Brien: I'd find a way to separate them, sir. That Nog's a bad influence.
Commander Sisko: I appreciate the advice, Chief, but I trust my son. Besides, if I get between them now, it would become me versus Nog, and I'm not going to force Jake to choose between us.
Chief O'Brien: Why not?
Commander Sisko: Because I'd probably lose.
Chief O'Brien: Oh, I doubt that, sir.
Commander Sisko: That's because your daughter's three. Wait until she's fourteen!


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: The Begotten (#5.12)" (1997)
[Shakaar visits Kira while O'Brien is giving her a leg massage]
Shakaar: Chief, would you mind leaving us alone for a minute?
Chief O'Brien: I'm almost done.
Shakaar: I'll take over.
[he starts working on Kira's other leg]
Major Kira: I think it's time...
Chief O'Brien: You got to do it harder.
Shakaar: I know what I'm doing.
Major Kira: [in happy anticipation] It's time!
Chief O'Brien: And you got to work *up* the legs.
Major Kira: [emphatic] It's time!


"Star Trek: The Next Generation: Clues (#4.14)" (1991)
[O'Brien has hurt his arm]
Doctor Beverly Crusher: What on earth were you doing when you fell?
Chief Miles O'Brien: Hanging a plant for Keiko. It's part of her running project to give me a green thumb.
Doctor Beverly Crusher: How's it working?
Chief Miles O'Brien: Everything I touch seems to turn brown and wither away.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Rivals (#2.11)" (1994)
[O'Brien returns from a demoralizing racquetball game with Bashir]
Quark: What was the score?
Chief O'Brien: Who cares?
Quark: I care. I'm listening. Tell me your problems, all of them.
Chief O'Brien: I've got no problems a good drop shot wouldn't cure.
Quark: He beat you.
Chief O'Brien: Only by half a step, that's all. He's got a few years on me, so what? I, I've got more experience.
Quark: [to himself] The aging champion...
Chief O'Brien: Got spin shots he's never seen.
Quark: ...versus the daring challenger...
Chief O'Brien: So I had a few breaks, huh? One more game, that's all I needed.
Quark: Come one, come all...
Chief O'Brien: I'd've kicked him all over the court. He knows it too.
Quark: Welcome to Quark's!
Chief O'Brien: [irritated] Thanks!
Quark: Don't mention it.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: ...Nor the Battle to the Strong (#5.4)" (1996)
[Quark has tried to replicate a decaffeinated variety of raktajino, yet with little success]
Quark: The removal of caffeine from beverages has plagued bartenders and restaurateurs for centuries. You can't expect me to solve it overnight.
Chief O'Brien: I'm not paying for that!
Odo: So much for 'Quarktajino'.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Past Prologue (#1.2)" (1993)
Chief O'Brien: You've never fought the Cardassians, have you?
Commander Sisko: No.
Chief O'Brien: Well, you wouldn't wanna turn a man - any man - over to their tender care, sir. You just wouldn't.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Facets (#3.25)" (1995)
Doctor Bashir: What's the matter, Chief?
Chief O'Brien: [referring to Nog] It just occurred to me - as soon as that kid graduates from the Academy, I'm gonna have to call him 'sir'.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Penumbra (#7.17)" (1999)
Lieutenant Ezri Dax: I bumped into Captain Boday the other night.
Chief O'Brien: Captain Boday?
Doctor Bashir: The Gallamite. Jadzia dated him.
Chief O'Brien: Oh, the toothy smile and the transparent skull?
Doctor Bashir: That's him. -... - Personally, I don't know what Jadzia ever saw in the man.
Chief O'Brien: Well - his brains.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: A Simple Investigation (#5.17)" (1997)
[O'Brien - playing Falcon in one of Bashir's holonovels - dupes Bashir threatening him with a gun]
Doctor Bashir: This isn't fair, Odo and I were talking.
Chief O'Brien: [as Falcon] Didn't anyone ever tell ya? You shouldn't stop for hitchhikers!


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: The Emperor's New Cloak (#7.12)" (1999)
Captain Bashir: There's nothing I loathe more than traitors.
Ezri Tigan: I'm not a traitor.
Chief O'Brien: She's right. You have to believe in something before you can betray it.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Family Business (#3.23)" (1995)
Commander Sisko: If you want any suggestions, I'll be in cargo bay...
Chief O'Brien: Four.
Commander Sisko: Huh? Seven.
Chief O'Brien: Oh, er... I... I-I thought...
Commander Sisko: Thought what?
Chief O'Brien: [sheepishly] I thought you were going to... talk to the freighter captain.
Doctor Bashir: You know, uh, Jake's friend?
Commander Sisko: Ah. How do you two know about her?
Doctor Bashir: The Chief told me.
[the Chief gives him a puzzled look]
Commander Sisko: Exactly how many people has Jake told about this woman?
Chief O'Brien: Everyone.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Soldiers of the Empire (#5.21)" (1997)
Chief O'Brien: Serving on a Klingon ship is like being with a gang of ancient sea pirates. You advance in rank by killing the people above you. So everywhere you turn, you're surrounded by potential assassins.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Invasive Procedures (#2.4)" (1993)
T'Kar: Mareel, the box!
[Mareel brings along a hexagon-shaped container]
T'Kar: [to Bashir] Put it in your stasis chamber... Now, or I will destroy it.
Doctor Bashir: [bewildered] Is this supposed to be some kind of threat?
Chief O'Brien: They've got Odo in there.
Doctor Bashir: I see...


"Star Trek: The Next Generation: Data's Day (#4.11)" (1991)
Lt. Commander Data: [voice-over] My friend Chief O'Brien often says that above all else, he wants to make Keiko happy. Since cancelling the wedding will make her happy, I must conclude the Chief will be pleased at her decision.
Lt. Commander Data: I have good news.
Chief Miles O'Brien: Oh?
Lt. Commander Data: Keiko has made a decision designed to increase her happiness: she has cancelled the wedding.
Chief Miles O'Brien: She what? Cancelled the wedding? Today? Without even a word? Of all the childish, selfish, irresponsible things to do...!
[storms out, very upset]
Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: Next time, maybe *I* should deliver the good news.
Lt. Commander Data: [voice-over] Commander Maddox. It would appear that my program designed to predict emotional responses needs... adjustment.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Rules of Engagement (#4.17)" (1996)
Captain Sisko: Chief, do you believe Worf was correct in giving the order to fire?
Chief O'Brien: I stand by his decision.
Captain Sisko: Is there any question in your mind about his motives?
Chief O'Brien: No, sir. I've known Commander Worf for nine years. He's an honorable man. He would never intentionally fire on an unarmed ship.
Captain Sisko: Thank you, Chief.
Ch'Pok: I'm curious, Chief. You said you stand by Commander Worf's decision. Do you agree with it?
Chief O'Brien: I completely support him.
Ch'Pok: That's not my question. Do you agree with his decision?
Chief O'Brien: I wasn't in command. It's not my place to question his judgment.
Ch'Pok: What if you were in command? What would you have done?
Chief O'Brien: I don't know.
Ch'Pok: Chief, how many years have you been in Starfleet?
Chief O'Brien: Twenty-two.
Ch'Pok: And how many combat situations have you been in?
Chief O'Brien: I couldn't even guess.
Ch'Pok: Try.
Chief O'Brien: A hundred... a hundred and fifty?
Ch'Pok: [to the JAG officer] For the record, Chief O'Brien has been in 235 separate engagements and Starfleet has decorated him fifteen times. I would like to have him declared an expert in the area of starship combat.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Shakaar (#3.24)" (1995)
Chief O'Brien: You're offering 10 to 1 to anyone betting against me tomorrow?
Quark: That's right.
Chief O'Brien: I'd make it 15, if I were you.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: In the Hands of the Prophets (#1.19)" (1993)
Odo: I've checked the turbolift records the night of the murder. Aquino did take a turbolift to level three but not to the power conduit where he was found.
Major Kira: Where did he go?
Odo: Runabout pad C.
Chief O'Brien: A runabout? What was he doing in a runabout at four in the morning?
Odo: Apparently he was getting murdered.


"Star Trek: The Next Generation: A Matter of Perspective (#3.14)" (1990)
[O'Brien has beamed Riker back from the research station]
Chief Miles O'Brien: Transporter room to bridge. He's aboard.
Commander William T. Riker: Why do you sound so surprised, Mr. O'Brien?
Chief Miles O'Brien: Well, for a moment, we weren't sure you left the space station in time.
Commander William T. Riker: In time for what?
Chief Miles O'Brien: It just exploded, sir.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Second Sight (#2.9)" (1993)
Commander Sisko: [O'Brien is working on a conduit, with the occasional spark flying] Is this maintenance or repair?
Chief O'Brien: Right now, it's maintenance. Five will get you ten it'll be repair by the time I'm through.
Commander Sisko: Admit it, Chief: if you were on a station where everything worked, you'd be miserable.
Chief O'Brien: Well, you may be right, sir
[spark]
Chief O'Brien: but I'd be willing to give it a try.


"Star Trek: The Next Generation: Shades of Gray (#2.22)" (1989)
[Dr. Pulaski reluctantly mounts the transporter platform]
Chief Miles O'Brien: I hope these are the right coordinates...
[she gives him an alarmed look]
Chief Miles O'Brien: Just kidding, Doctor. I know how much you love the transporter.
Dr. Kate Pulaski: About as much as I love comical transporter chiefs.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: The Die Is Cast (#3.21)" (1995)
[Dr. Bashir is frustrated that O'Brien isn't paying attention to him during lunch]
Chief O'Brien: Look, Julian... you said you wanted to have lunch. And we're having lunch.
Doctor Bashir: Yes, but I was hoping for a little more conversation with my plomeek soup.
Chief O'Brien: Ah. My mother taught me, if you try to combine talking and eating, you'll end up doing neither very well.


"Star Trek: The Next Generation: The Enemy (#3.7)" (1989)
[O'Brien is trying to get a lock on La Forge, who has gone missing on a stormy planet]
Chief Miles O'Brien: The electrical storm's creating thousands of ghosts.
Commander William T. Riker: Well, beam some of those ghosts back; one of them may be Geordi!


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Behind the Lines (#6.4)" (1997)
Lt. Commander Jadzia Dax: Are you two ever gonna be finished?
Nog: Just a few more minutes, Commander.
Chief O'Brien: That's 'Captain'. It's an old naval tradition. Whoever's in command of a ship, regardless of rank, is referred to as 'Captain.'
Nog: You mean if I had to take command, I would be called 'Captain,' too?
Chief O'Brien: Cadet, by the time you took command, there'd be nobody left to call you anything.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Prophet Motive (#3.16)" (1995)
[O'Brien and Bashir are trying their hands at darts]
Doctor Bashir: I don't know about this.
Chief O'Brien: You'd rather play a game of racquetball?
Doctor Bashir: Chief, since Keiko's been on Bajor, we've played 106 games of racquetball.
Chief O'Brien: Right. So throw a dart.


"Star Trek: The Next Generation: Remember Me (#4.5)" (1990)
[Dr. Crusher asks O'Brien if he doesn't remember beaming her friend Dr. Quaice on board]
Chief Miles O'Brien: I'm sorry. I-I remember you being here for a short while. But you were alone.
Doctor Beverly Crusher: [dumbfounded] W-wa... was he invisible? Did I carry on a conversation with thin air?


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Inquisition (#6.18)" (1998)
Doctor Bashir: You promised me that you wouldn't go kayaking again until your shoulder had a chance to heal.
Chief O'Brien: I know; but I can't stay away. It's like the river calls to me.
Doctor Bashir: Yes, it's saying "Stay away, don't come near me, or I'll hurt you more!"


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Call to Arms (#5.26)" (1997)
Chief O'Brien: I wish they'd just attack and get it over with.
Captain Sisko: I have the feeling you're going to get your wish.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Afterimage (#7.3)" (1998)
[Dax has been promoted to full counselor]
Captain Sisko: [to Dax] Congratulations, Lieutenant. I want you to take a good look around. You have just agreed to take responsibility for the mental health of everyone in this room. You have your work cut out for you.
Doctor Bashir: Well, I'm glad they made you a lieutenant. It would've been hard taking advice from an ensign.
Chief O'Brien: Since when did you take advice from anyone?


"Star Trek: The Next Generation: All Good Things... (#7.25)" (1994)
O'Brien: We have to realign the entire power grid. We'll all be burning the midnight oil on this one.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: [passing] That would be inadvisable.
O'Brien: Excuse me?
Lt. Cmdr. Data: If you attempt to ignite a petroleum product on this ship at 0000 hours, you will activate the fire suppression system, which would seal off this entire compartment.
O'Brien: That was just an expression.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Expression of what?
O'Brien: A figure of speech. I was trying to tell him that we'd be working late.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Ah. Then 'to burn the midnight oil' implies late work?
O'Brien: Yeah, that's right.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Hm. I am curious. What is the etymology of that idiom?
O'Brien: Hm?
Lt. Cmdr. Data: How did it come to be used in contemporary language?
O'Brien: I-I don't know, sir.


"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: The Alternate (#2.12)" (1994)
Chief O'Brien: [about the pillar found in the Gamma Quadrant] Any idea what it is?
Odo: I'm hoping it's a key, Mr. O'Brien - a key to my past.