Felicia Koons
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Quotes for
Felicia Koons (Character)
from "Californication" (2007)

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"Californication: The Apartment (#3.8)" (2009)
Felicia Koons: That was some very intense and powerful lovemaking.
[Hank pulls back]
Felicia Koons: What's wrong?
Hank Moody: Not a big fan of that term, lovemaking, making love. I prefer boning, stuffing, shtupping, banging, porking, boffing, anything. Take your pick. Just not lovemaking.
Felicia Koons: So much for the afterglow.

"Californication: Wish You Were Here (#3.1)" (2009)
Richard Bates: [Walks up to the doorway to the dining room stark naked] Who wants to see me tuck and do the pee-pee-dance?
Hank Moody: [raises hand] Come on, I can't be the only one?... Where are the girls?
Richard Bates: And then... Just like that
[snaps fingers]
Richard Bates: he unveiled his beautiful man-pussy. His glorious mangina.
Richard Bates: Mmh Mmh-Meet my peach baby, Blow on my dice! I wanna swing that swing, don't you treat me nice.
Dean Stacy Koons: Richard let me...
Dean Stacy Koons: [Keeps on singing] I'm wild for you.
Dean Stacy Koons: Let me call you a cab.
Richard Bates: [Still singing] Sweet Baby I'm a child for you.
Dean Stacy Koons: Lets get you clothes.
Felicia Koons: You know what, why don't stay in the guest room?
Richard Bates: Stacy? Have you ever spent time with an eleven year old boy and wanted more from him than he was willing to give? Have you ever breathed in the scent of a woman's sweaty unwashed sex? And just
[sniffs the air]
Richard Bates: Mhh and wanted to bottle and sell at market. You ever been so drunk on cock? You Howled at the moon and begged for a few inches more.
Hank Moody: Ladies? Dean Koons?
Richard Bates: All these question and more will be answered... in my new novel. First! I wanna go for a swim! Urgh!
[Runs through the dining room and jumps out the window]
Richard Bates: Wooh!
Hank Moody: Love that guy. Big fan.