Shannon
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Quotes for
Shannon (Character)
from Mallrats (1995)

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Mallrats (1995)
Shannon Hamilton: That's it. You're dead, mallrat! I'm gonna fuck you up beyond repair!
Brodie: Ladies and gentlemen, this tall drink of water headed my way is a pillar of the shopping community who informed me earlier today of a nefarious plan of his to screw my girlfriend in an extremely uncomfortable place.
Gil Hicks: What... like the back of a Volkswagen?

Shannon Hamilton: You're sure you saw her get on?
T.S. Quint: Maybe she was getting off...

Shannon Hamilton: You wanna say something?
Brodie: Yeah. About a million things, but I can't express myself monosyllabically enough for you to understand 'em all.

[the videotape of Shannon back-dooring Trica is playing on the big screen, with cheesy 70s porno music in background]
Shannon Hamilton: Yeah, who's your favourite New Kid. Yeah, call me Joey. Oh, come on. Don't make me get loose. Yeah, that's right. Call me Donnie. Oh, girl. Oh, please don't go girl.
Jay: Goddamn. This is one wacky game show.
Brodie: [to the cops] Hey! That girl's only 15!
[cops focus their attention on Shannon]
Shannon Hamilton: Ah, 15. I thought she was 36!
[cops are approaching him]
Shannon Hamilton: Come on, guys. Tell me you wouldn't have popped her.

Shannon Hamilton: Smart-ass ex-boyfriend! I've got two things to tell you. One: I don't like you. I see you every week in this mall. I don't like you shiftless layabouts. You're one of those loser fucking mallrat kids. You don't come to the mall to shop or work. You hang out all day, act like you fucking live here. Well, I have no respect for people with no shopping agenda.
Brodie: Is this what's known as motivated salesmanship?
[Shannon Hamilton beats up Brodie]
Shannon Hamilton: Rene told me to leave you alone, but she's fucking clueless. The newly single always feel a bit protective of the ex-boyfriend.
Brodie: If this is her idea of protective, I'd hate to have her mad at me.
Shannon Hamilton: You see, Bruce, I like to pick up girls on the rebound from a disappointing relationship. They're much more in need of solace and they're fairly open to suggestion. And, I use that to fuck them some place very uncomfortable.
Brodie: What, like the back of a Volkswagen?
Shannon Hamilton: No. More like someplace girls dread.
[Brodie tries to take a poke at Shannon, Shannons gives him another beat-down]

T.S. Quint: Haven't you ever heard the phrase "The customer is always right?"
Shannon Hamilton: Let me tell you something. Let me give you a little secret, okay.
[yells it right in T.S.' ear]
Shannon Hamilton: The customer is always an asshole!

Brodie: Hey, you know where you're going, they screw people in a very uncomfortable place.
Shannon: Really?
Brodie: Yeah.
Arresting Cop #2: Hey, hey! You can't strike a prisoner in police custody.
Brodie: Oh, come on. Just once?
Arresting Cop #2: All right, but make it fast.
[punches Shannon in his stomach]