Quotes for
Jack Sparrow (Character)
from Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)

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Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)

Barbossa: You're supposed to be dead!
Jack Sparrow: Am I not?

Murtogg: This dock is off-limits to civilians.
Jack Sparrow: I'm terribly sorry, I didn't know. If I see one, I shall inform you immediately.
[Jack makes to continue but is blocked by Murtogg and Mullroy]
Jack Sparrow: Apparently there's some sort of high-toned and fancy to-do up at the fort, eh? How could it be that two upstanding gentlemen, such as yourselves, did not merit an invitation?
Murtogg: Someone's got to make sure that this dock stays off-limits to civilians.
Jack Sparrow: It's a fine goal, to be sure. But it seems to me... that a ship like that one, makes this one here seem a bit superfluous, really.
Murtogg: Oh, the Dauntless is the power in these waters, true enough. But there's no ship as can match the Interceptor for speed.
Jack Sparrow: I've heard of one, supposed to be very fast, nigh uncatchable: The Black Pearl.
Mullroy: Well, there's no real ship as can match the Interceptor.
Murtogg: The Black Pearl is a real ship.
Mullroy: No, it's not.
Murtogg: Yes it is, I've seen it.
Mullroy: You've seen it?
Murtogg: Yes.
Mullroy: You haven't seen it.
Murtogg: Yes, I have.
Mullroy: You've seen a ship with black sails that's crewed by the damned, and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out?
Murtogg: No.
Mullroy: No.
Murtogg: But I have seen a ship with black sails.
[Jack quietly slips passed them unnoticed]
Mullroy: Oh, and no ship that's not crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out could possibly have black sails, therefore couldn't possibly be any other ship than the Black Pearl. Is that what you're telling me?
Murtogg: [nodds] No.
Mullroy: Like I said, there's no real ship as can match the Interceptor.

[the other prisoners are whistling and calling for the dog with the keys in his mouth]
Jack Sparrow: You can keep doing that forever, the dog is NEVER going to move.
Seedy Looking Prisoner: Well excuse me if we haven't resorted ourselves to the gallows just yet.

Will Turner: Barbossa, you lying bastard! You swore she'd go free!
Barbossa: Don't dare impugn me honor boy! I agreed she go free, but it was you who failed to specify when or where. Though it does seem a shame to lose somethin' so fine, don't it, lads?
The Crew: Aye.
Barbossa: So I'll be havin' that dress back before ye go.
Jack Sparrow: I always liked you.
Bo'sun: Grr...
Elizabeth: Goes with your black heart.
Barbossa: Ooh, it's still warm.
The Crew: Off you go!; Come on!; Get on with it!
Bo'sun: Too long!
Jack Sparrow: I really rather hope we were past all this.
Barbossa: Jack... Jack! Did you not notice? That be the same island we made you the governor of on our last little trip.
Jack Sparrow: I did notice.
Barbossa: Perhaps, you'll conjure up another miraculous escape, but I doubt it. Off you go.
Jack Sparrow: The last time you left me a pistol with one shot.
Barbossa: By the powers, you're right. Where be Jack's pistol? Bring it forward.
Jack Sparrow: Seeing as there's two of us, a gentleman would give us a pair of pistols.
Barbossa: It'll be one pistol as before, and you can be the gentleman and shoot the lady; and starve to death yourself.

Town Clerk: Jack Sparrow.
Jack Sparrow: Captain... Captain Jack Sparrow.
Town Clerk: ...for your willful commission of crime against the crown. Those crimes being numerous in quantity and sinister in nature...
Elizabeth: This is wrong...
Governor Swann: Commodore Norrington is bound by the law, as are we all.
Town Clerk: ...impersonating an officer of the Royal Navy; impersonating a clergy of the Church of England...
Jack Sparrow: Oh yeah, heh heh
Town Clerk: ...arson; kidnapping; perjury; piracy; pilfering; deprivation of a Federal Loyalist. For these crimes you will be hung by the neck until dead. May God have mercy on your soul.

Will Turner: You cheated.
Jack Sparrow: Pirate.

Jack Sparrow: The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can't do. For instance, you can accept that your father was a pirate and a good man or you can't. But pirate is in your blood, boy, so you'll have to square with that some day. And me, for example, I can let you drown, but I can't bring this ship into Tortuga all by me onesies, savvy? So, can you sail under the command of a pirate, or can you not?

[repeated line]
Jack Sparrow: Savvy?

Mr. Gibbs: Then, on the fourth day, he roped himself a couple of sea turtles, lashed 'em together and made a raft.
Will Turner: He roped a couple of sea turtles.
Mr. Gibbs: Aye. Sea turtles.
Will Turner: What did he use for rope?
Jack Sparrow: [from beside them] Human hair.
[pause]
Jack Sparrow: From my back.

Jack Sparrow: Move away.
Will Turner: No.
Jack Sparrow: Please move?
Will Turner: No. I cannot just step aside and let you escape.
Jack Sparrow: This shot was not meant for you.

Jack Sparrow: [to Weatherby Swann] I think we've all arrived at a very special place. Spiritually, ecumenically, grammatically.
Jack Sparrow: I want you to know that I was rooting for you. Know that.
[to Commodore Norrington]
Jack Sparrow: Elizabeth... it would never have worked between us darling. I'm sorry... Will... nice hat. Friends... This is the day that you will ALWAYS remember as the day that you...
[backs up and trips over ledge]

Jack Sparrow: What's your name?
Will Turner: Will Turner.
Jack Sparrow: That would be short for William, I imagine. Good strong name, no doubt named for your father, eh?
Will Turner: Yes.
Jack Sparrow: Well Mr. Turner, I've changed me mind. If you spring me from this cell, I swear on pain of death, I shall take you to the Black Pearl and your bonnie lass. Do we have an accord?
[puts out his hand]
Will Turner: Agreed.
[they shake hands]
Jack Sparrow: Now, get me out of here!
[Will grabs chair and uses it to lift up the cell door and it crashes to floor]
Will Turner: Quick! Some would've heard that.
Jack Sparrow: Not without my effects.

Jack Sparrow: [after Will draws his sword] Put it away, son. It's not worth you getting beat again.
Will Turner: You didn't beat me. You ignored the rules of engagement. In a fair fight, I'd kill you.
Jack Sparrow: That's not much incentive for me to fight fair, then, is it?

Norrington: I don't care for the situation. Any attempt to storm the caves could turn to an ambush.
Jack Sparrow: Not if you're the one doing the ambushing. I go in and convince Barbossa to send his men out with their little boats. You and your mates return to the Dauntless and blast the bejesus out of them with your little cannons, eh? What do you have to lose?
[he puts his hand on Norrington's shoulder]
Norrington: Nothing I'd lament being rid of.
[brushes Jack's hand off in disgust]
Jack Sparrow: Now, to be quite honest with you, there's still a slight risk to those aboard the Dauntless, which includes the future Mrs. Commodore.

[duelling with Jack, Barbossa suddenly throws away his sword]
Barbossa: You can't beat me, Jack!
[In reply, Jack stabs him with his sword. Barbossa simply sighs, pulls the blade out of his body and stabs Jack with it. He smiles as Jack totters - but is shocked when a shaft of moonlight turns Jack into a cursed skeleton of his former self... ]
Jack Sparrow: [examining his new form] That's interesting...
Jack Sparrow: [to Barbossa, an Aztec coin dancing on his fingers] I couldn't resist, mate...

Will Turner: Where's Elizabeth?
Jack Sparrow: She's safe, just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we're all men of our word really... except for, of course, Elizabeth, who is in fact, a woman.

Jack Sparrow: A wedding? I love weddings. Drinks all around!

[as they are attempting to commandeer the Interceptor]
Jack Sparrow: Don't be alarmed, we're taking over the ship.
Will Turner: [lunges with his sword] AYE! AVAST!
[Jack stares at him as all the British sailors burst out laughing]

Pintel: Your'e supposed to be dead!
Jack Sparrow: Am I not?

Jack Sparrow: If you were waiting for the opportune moment, that was it.

[talking to the pirates while he's in jail]
Jack Sparrow: Worry about your own fortunes gentlemen. The deepest circle of hell is reserved for betrayers and mutineers.
[pirate grabs Jack's throat to reveal a skeleton arm]
Jack Sparrow: So, there is a curse? That's interesting.
Koehler: You know nothing of hell.
Jack Sparrow: That's VERY interesting

Barbossa: How the blazes did you get off that island?
Jack Sparrow: When you marooned me on that god forsaken spit of land, you forgot one very important thing, mate: I'm Captain Jack Sparrow.

Jack Sparrow: [looking at all the swords] Who makes all these?
Will Turner: I do. And I practice with them three hours a day.
Jack Sparrow: You need to find yourself a girl mate. Or perhaps the reason you practice three hours a day is that you already found one, and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet. You're not a eunuch are you?
Will Turner: I practice three hours a day, so when I meet a pirate, I can kill it.

Elizabeth: You're despicable.
Jack Sparrow: Sticks and stones, love. I saved your life, you saved mine. We're square.

Barbossa: Gents, you all remember Captain Jack Sparrow. Kill him.
Jack Sparrow: The girl's blood didn't work, did it?
Barbossa: [to the crew] Hold your fire!
Barbossa: You know whose blood we need.
Jack Sparrow: I know whose blood you need!

[Jack throws a bucket of water on sleeping Gibbs]
Mr. Gibbs: Curse you for breathin' ya slack-jawed idiot. Mother's love. Jack. You should know better than to wake a man when he's sleepin'. Its bad luck.
Jack Sparrow: Fortunately, I know how to counter it; the man who did the waking buys the man who was sleeping a drink; the man who was sleeping drinks it while listening to a proposition from the man who did the waking.
Mr. Gibbs: Aye, that'll about do it.
[Will throws more water on Mr. Gibbs]
Mr. Gibbs: Blast I'm already awake.
Will Turner: That was for the smell.

Norrington: No additional shot nor powder, a compass that doesn't point north,
[looks at Jack's sword]
Norrington: And I half expected it to be made of wood. You are without doubt the worst pirate I've ever heard of.
Jack Sparrow: But you have heard of me.

[after inspecting the crew]
Jack Sparrow: Satisfied?
Will Turner: Well you proved they're mad.

[to Elizabeth]
Jack Sparrow: Where's the medallion?
Elizabeth: Wretch.
[attempts to slap him]
Jack Sparrow: [grabs her wrist] Ah, where is dear William?
Elizabeth: Will.
Will Turner: Elizabeth.
Jack Sparrow: Monkey!

Jack Sparrow: You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?
Will Turner: I make a point of avoiding familiarity with pirates.

Barbossa: Why thank ye, Jack.
Jack Sparrow: You're welcome.
Barbossa: Oh, not you. We named the monkey Jack.

Jack Sparrow: Do us a favor... I know it's difficult for you... but please, stay here, and try not to do anything... stupid.

Barbossa: So you expect to leave me standing on some beach with nothing but a name and your word it's the one I need and watch you sail away on my ship?
Jack Sparrow: No. I expect to leave you standing on some beach with absolutely no name at all, watching me sail away on my ship and then I'll shout the name back to you. Savvy?
Barbossa: But that still leaves us with the problem of me standing on some beach with naught but a name and your word it's the one I need.
Jack Sparrow: Of the two of us I am the only one who hasn't committed mutiny, therefore my word is the one we'll be trusting. Although, I suppose I should be thanking you because in fact, if you hadn't betrayed me and left me to die, I would have an equal share in that curse same as you.
[bites into an apple]
Jack Sparrow: Funny ol' world, innit?
[offers him an apple]

Jack Sparrow: Stop blowing holes in my ship!

Will Turner: We're going to steal a ship? That ship?
Jack Sparrow: Commandeer. We're going to commandeer that ship. Nautical term.

Jack Sparrow: Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid.

Will Turner: That's not true. I am not obsessed with treasure.
Jack Sparrow: Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate.

Jack Sparrow: You, sailor.
Mr. Gibbs: Cotton, sir.
Jack Sparrow: Mr. Cotton. Do you have the courage and fortitude to follow orders and stay true in the face of danger and almost certain death?
[pause]
Jack Sparrow: Mr. Cotton. Answer, man.
Mr. Gibbs: He's a mute, sir. Poor devil had his tongue cut out, so he trained the parrot to talk for him. No one's yet figured how.
Jack Sparrow: Mr. Cotton's... parrot. Same question.
Parrot: [squawk] Wind in the sails. Wind in the sails.
Mr. Gibbs: Mostly, we figure, that means 'yes.'

[last lines]
Jack Sparrow: Now... bring me that horizon.
[humming]
Jack Sparrow: "And really bad eggs." Drink up me 'earties. Yo ho.
[snaps compass shut]

Jack Sparrow: [to Will Turner] Now as long as you're just hanging there, pay attention.

Harbormaster: Hold up there, you. It's a shilling to tie up your boat at the dock... and I shall need to know your name.
Jack Sparrow: What do you say to three shillings and we forget the name.
Harbormaster: Welcome to Port Royal, Mr. Smith.

Will Turner: This is either madness... or brilliance.
Jack Sparrow: It's remarkable how often those two traits coincide.

Norrington: Mr. Sparrow, you will accompany these fine men to the helm and provide us with the bearing to Isla de Muerta. You will then spend the remainder of the voyage contemplating all possible meanings of the phrase "silent as the grave". Do I make myself clear?
Jack Sparrow: Inescapably.

Jack Sparrow: Scarlet.
[She slaps him]
Jack Sparrow: I'm not sure I deserved that.
[a blond woman approaches]
Jack Sparrow: Giselle.
Giselle: Who was she?
Jack Sparrow: What?
[She slaps him]
Jack Sparrow: I may have deserved that.

Jack Sparrow: One question about your business, boy, or there's no use going: This girl... how far are you willing to go to save her?
Will Turner: I'd die for her.
Jack Sparrow: Oh good. No worries then.

Jack Sparrow: [Imitating Elizabeth] "It must have been terrible for you, Jack. Must have been terrible." Well, it bloody is now.
[Seeing Norrington's ship off shore]
Jack Sparrow: There'll be no living with her after this.

Jack Sparrow: [Wakes up and sees Elizabeth burning the rum] No! Not good! Stop! Not good! What are you doing? You burned all the food, the shade... the rum!
Elizabeth: Yes, the rum is gone.
Jack Sparrow: Why is the rum gone?
Elizabeth: One: because it is a *vile* drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels. Two: that signal is over a thousand feet high. The entire royal navy is out looking for me, do you think there is even the slightest chance they wont see it?
Jack Sparrow: But why is the rum gone?
Elizabeth: mark my words, give it an hour maybe two, keep a weather eye out and there will be white sails on that horizon.

Will Turner: She goes free.
Barbossa: What's in your head, boy?
Will Turner: She goes free.
Barbossa: You've only got one shot and we can't die.
Jack Sparrow: Don't do anything stupid.
Will Turner: You can't.
[points gun at his own throat]
Will Turner: I can.
Jack Sparrow: Like that.

[At gunpoint, Jack Sparrow forces Elizabeth Swann to reattach his sword and compass to his belt. She pulls the belt tight]
Jack Sparrow: Easy on the goods, darling.

Barbossa: I want 50 per cent of ye plunder.
Jack Sparrow: 15.
Barbossa: 40.
Jack Sparrow: 25.
Barbossa: [considering]
Jack Sparrow: And I'll buy you the hat. A really BIG one... Commodore.

Barbossa: [talking to Will Turner] Who are you?
Jack Sparrow: No one. He's no one. Distant cousin of my Aunt's nephew twice removed. Lovely singing voice. Eunuch.

Mullroy: Hey, you. Get away from there. You don't have permission to be aboard there, mate.
Jack Sparrow: I'm sorry. It's just... it's such a pretty boat... ship.

Jack Sparrow: Parleley, parlelellyleloooo, par le nee, partner, par... snip, parsley...
Ragetti: Parley?
Jack Sparrow: That's the one. Parley. Parley.
Pintel: Parley? Damn to the depths whatever man what thought of "Parley".
Jack Sparrow: That would be the French.

Jack Sparrow: Apparently, there's a leak...

Jack Sparrow: I love this song. Really bad eggs. Ooh.
[falls]
Jack Sparrow: When I get the Pearl back, I'm gonna teach it to the whole crew, and we'll sing it all the time.
Elizabeth: And you'll be positively the most fearsome pirates in the Spanish Main.
Jack Sparrow: Not just the Spanish Main, luv. The entire ocean. The entire wo'ld. Wherever we want to go, we'll go. That's what a ship is, you know. It's not just a keel and a hull and a deck and sails, that's what a ship needs but what a ship is... what the Black Pearl really is... is freedom.

[Barbossa leans in to slit Will's throat]
Jack Sparrow: You don't want to be doing that, mate.
Barbossa: No, I really think I do.
Jack Sparrow: Your funeral.

Governor Swann: Hang him.
Norrington: Keep your guns on him, men. Gillette, fetch some irons.
[Pulls up Jack's sleeve]
Norrington: Well, well, well Jack Sparrow, isn't it?
Jack Sparrow: Captain Jack Sparrow, if you please sir.
Norrington: I don't see your ship, Captain.
Jack Sparrow: I'm in the market, as it were.

[the other pirates come upon Jack Sparrow in the cave]
Pintel: You? You're supposed to be dead.
Jack Sparrow: [Looks himself up and down] Am I not?

Jack Sparrow: Anamaria.
[Anamaria slaps Jack]
Will Turner: I suppose, you didn't deserve that one either?
Jack Sparrow: No, that one I deserved.
Anamaria: You stole my boat!
Jack Sparrow: Actually...
Anamaria: [Anamaria slaps Jack again]
Jack Sparrow: Borrowed... borrowed without permission, but with every intention of bringing it back.
Anamaria: But you didn't!
Jack Sparrow: You'll get another one.
Anamaria: I will.
Will Turner: A better one.
Jack Sparrow: A better one.
Will Turner: That one.
Jack Sparrow: What one?
Will Turner: [Will looks at the Interceptor]
Jack Sparrow: That one? Aye, that one. What say you to that?
The Crew: Aye!
Mr. Gibbs: No, it's frightful bad luck to have a woman aboard.
Jack Sparrow: It would be far worse not to have her.

[after breaking Jack out of jail]
Will Turner: Hurry, someone would have heard that.
Jack Sparrow: Not without my effects.

Will Turner: I can get you out of here
Jack Sparrow: How's that... the key's run off.

Jack Sparrow: That's the second time I've had to watch that man sail away with my ship.
Elizabeth: But you were marooned on this island before, weren't you? So we can escape in the same way you did then.
Jack Sparrow: To what point and purpose, young missy? The Black Pearl is gone and unless you have a rudder and a lot of sails hidden in that bodice - unlikely - young Mr. Turner will be dead long before you can reach him.
Elizabeth: But you're Captain Jack Sparrow. You vanished from under the eyes of seven agents of the East India Company. You sacked Nassau Port without even firing a shot. Are you the pirate I've read about or not? How did you escape last time?
Jack Sparrow: Last time... I was here a grand total of three days, all right? Last time, the rum runners used this island as a cache, they came past and I was able to barter passage off. By the look of things, they've long been out of business. Probably have your bloody friend Norrington to thank for that.
Elizabeth: So that's it, then? That's the secret, grand adventure of the infamous Jack Sparrow. You spent three days lying on a beach drinking rum.
Jack Sparrow: Welcome to the Caribbean, love.

Mullroy: What's your purpose in Port Royal, Mr. Smith?
Murtogg: Yeah, and no lies.
Jack Sparrow: Well, then, I confess, it is my intention to commandeer one of these ships, pick up a crew in Tortuga, raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my weasely black guts out.
Murtogg: I said no lies.
Mullroy: I think he's telling the truth.
Murtogg: If he were telling the truth, he wouldn't have told us.
Jack Sparrow: Unless, of course, he knew you wouldn't believe the truth even if he told it to you.

Barbossa: So what now, Jack Sparrow? Are we to be two immortals locked in an epic battle until Judgment Day and trumpets sound?
Jack Sparrow: Or you could surrender.

[protesting Jack's arrest]
Elizabeth: Commodore, I really must protest. Pirate or not this man saved my life.
Norrington: One good deed is not enough to redeem a man of a lifetime of wickedness.
Jack Sparrow: Though it seems enough to condemn him.
Norrington: Indeed.

Jack Sparrow: You know, for having such a bleak outlook on pirates you are well on your way to becoming one: sprung a man from jail, commandeered a ship of the fleet, sailed with a buccaneer crew out of Tortuga, and you're completely obsessed with treasure.

Jack Sparrow: I know those cannons. It's the Pearl.
Man in Jail: The Black Pearl? I've heard stories. She's been preying on ships and settlements for near ten years. Never leaves any survivors.
Jack Sparrow: No survivors? Then where do the stories come from, I wonder?

Jack Sparrow: [upon seeing Elizabeth plunge into the ocean] Will you be saving her then?
Mullroy: I can't swim.
[Jack looks at Murtogg... no he won't do either]
Jack Sparrow: Pride of the King's navy you are. Do not lose these.

Mullroy: Not breathing.
Jack Sparrow: Move.
[Jack slits the ties on Elizabeth's corset and rips it off, causing Elizabeth to regain consciousness, and spit out a lot of water]
Mullroy: Never would have though of that.
Jack Sparrow: Clearly you've never been to Singapore.

Jack Sparrow: ...and then they made me their chief.

[the Black Pearl is gone]
Elizabeth: I'm sorry, Jack.
Jack Sparrow: [wistfully proud] They done what's right by them. Can't expect more than that.

Jack Sparrow: You think this wise, boy... crossing blades with a pirate?
Will Turner: You threatened Miss Swann.
Jack Sparrow: Only a little.

Jack Sparrow: Come on you filthy, slimy, mangy cur,
[dog slinks away]
Jack Sparrow: no no no no no no no I didn't mean, I didn...

Mr. Gibbs: The kid's a bit of a stick, isn't he?
Jack Sparrow: You have no idea.

Mr. Gibbs: We should drop canvas, sir.
Jack Sparrow: She can hold a bit longer.
Mr. Gibbs: What's in your head, Captain, that puts you in such a fine mood?
Jack Sparrow: We're catching up.

Jack Sparrow: I thought you were supposed to keep to the code.
Mr. Gibbs: We figured they were more actual guidelines.

Barbossa: It's not possible!
Jack Sparrow: Not *probable*.

Barbossa: And I suppose in exchange you want me not to kill the whelp?
Jack Sparrow: No, no, no, by all means kill the whelp. Just not yet. Wait for the opportune moment.

Elizabeth: [sighs] "... drink up me hearties, yo ho".
Jack Sparrow: What was that Elizabeth?
Elizabeth: It's Miss Swann.
Jack Sparrow: Miss Swann.
Elizabeth: Nothing, it's just a song I learned as a child when I thought it would be fun to meet a real pirate.
Jack Sparrow: Let's hear it, then.
Elizabeth: No.
Jack Sparrow: Come on. We've got the time. Let's be having it.
Elizabeth: No. I'd need a lot more to drink.
Jack Sparrow: How much more?

Lt. Gillette: This ship cannot be crewed by two men. You'll never make it out of the bay.
Jack Sparrow: Son, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. Savvy?

Jack Sparrow: Any man who falls behind, is left behind.

Will Turner: She goes free.
[points pistol at Barbossa]
Barbossa: What's in your head, boy?
Will Turner: She goes free!
Barbossa: You've only got one shot, and we can't die.
Jack Sparrow: [whispered to Will] Don't do anything stupid.
Will Turner: You can't. I can.
[points gun at himself]
Jack Sparrow: Like that.
Barbossa: Who are you?
Jack Sparrow: [to Barbossa] No one. He's no one. A distant cousin of my aunt's nephew twice removed. Lovely singing voice, though - eunuch.
Will Turner: My name is Will Turner. My father was Bootstrap Bill Turner. His blood runs in my veins.
Ragetti: He's the spitting image of ol' Bootstrap Bill come back to haunt us.
Will Turner: On my word do as I say, or I'll pull this trigger and be lost to Davy Jones' Locker.
Barbossa: Name your terms, Mr. Turner.
Will Turner: Elizabeth goes free.
Barbossa: Yes, we know that one. Anything else?
Jack Sparrow: [points at himself] Me!
Will Turner: And the crew - the crew are not to be harmed.

[toasting to their new partnership]
Jack Sparrow: Take what ye can!
Mr. Gibbs: Give nothin' back!

Jack Sparrow: Is there a problem between us, Miss Swann?
Elizabeth: You were going to tell Barbossa about Will in exchange for a ship.
Jack Sparrow: We could use a ship. But the truth is, I wasn't going to tell Barbossa about Will, as long as I had something to bargain with, which now nobody has, thanks to bloody stupid Will.
Elizabeth: Oh.
Jack Sparrow: [mockingly] Oh.

Elizabeth: You didn't tell them about the curse.
Jack Sparrow: I noticed neither did you. For the same reason, I expect.
Elizabeth: He wouldn't have risked it.
Jack Sparrow: Could have gotten him drunk. Oh, don't get me wrong, love. I admire a person who's willing to do whatever's necessary.
Elizabeth: You're a smart man, Jack. But I don't entirely trust you.
Jack Sparrow: Peas in a pod, darling.

Jack Sparrow: [Will and Jack have just taken over the Interceptor after Norrington's men go onto the Dauntless] Thank you, Commodore, for getting us ready to make sail! We would have had a hard time of it by ourselves!

---

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)

Tia Dalma: Land is where you are safe, Jack Sparrow, and so you will carry land with you.
Jack Sparrow: ...This is a jar of dirt.
Tia Dalma: Yes.
Jack Sparrow: ...Is the jar of dirt going to help?
Tia Dalma: If you don't want it, give it back.
Jack Sparrow: [greedily] No!
Tia Dalma: Then it helps.

Will Turner: You want me to find this?
Jack Sparrow: No. You want you to find this, because the finding of this finds you incapacitorially finding and or locating in your discovering the detecting of a way to save your dolly belle, ol' what's-her-face. Savvy?
Will Turner: This is going to save Elizabeth?
Jack Sparrow: How much do you know about Davy Jones?
Will Turner: Not much.
Jack Sparrow: Yeah, it's going to save Elizabeth.

Jack Sparrow: It's funny what a man will do to forestall his final judgment.
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: You made a deal with him too, Jack. He raised the Pearl from the depths for you. Thirteen years you've been her captain.
Jack Sparrow: Technically...
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: You won't be able to talk yourself out of this. The terms that apply to me apply to you as well. One soul, bound to crew a hundred years upon his ship.
Jack Sparrow: Yes, but the Flying Dutchmen already has a captain, so there's really...
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: Then it's the locker for you! Jones' terrible leviathan will find you, and drag the Pearl back to the depths and you along with it.
Jack Sparrow: Any idea when Jones might release said terrible beastie?
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: I've already told you, Jack. Your time is up. He comes now.

Jack Sparrow: [after searching the shattered jar of dirt for Davy Jones' heart] Where is it? Where is the thump-thump?

Jack Sparrow: [with his back to Elizabeth, thinking that she is a man] Come to join my crew, lad? Welcome aboard!
Elizabeth Swann: I'm here to find the man I love.
Jack Sparrow: [startled] Deeply flattered, boy, but my first and only love is the sea.
Elizabeth Swann: Meaning William Turner, Captain Sparrow.
Jack Sparrow: [turning around] Elizabeth!
[to Gibbs]
Jack Sparrow: Hide the rum.

Jack Sparrow: We are very much alike, you and I, I and you... us.
Elizabeth Swann: Oh. Except for a sense of honor and decency and a moral center. And personal hygiene.
Jack Sparrow: [sniffs his armpit and looks back] Trifles.

Gibbs: Let's put some distance between us and this island and head out to open sea!
Jack Sparrow: Yes to the first, yes to the second, but only insofar as we keep to the shallows as much as possible.
Gibbs: That seems a bit contradictory, Captain.
Jack Sparrow: I have every faith in your reconciliatory navigational skills, Mr. Gibbs, now where is that monkey, I want to shoot something!

Elizabeth Swann: Jack, the letters, give them back.
Jack Sparrow: No. Persuade me.
Elizabeth Swann: You do know Will taught me how to handle a sword.
Jack Sparrow: As I said, persuade me.

Jack Sparrow: [holds up jar of dirt] Oi! Fishface! Lose something? Eh? Scungilli!
[falls down stairs, holds up jar again]
Jack Sparrow: Got it! Come to negotiate, eh? Have you, you slimy git? Look what I got.
Jack Sparrow: [sing-song] I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it!

Elizabeth Swann: We're not getting out of this.
Norrington: Not with the chest. Into the boat.
[takes chest]
Elizabeth Swann: You're mad.
Norrington: Don't wait for me.
[runs away from the longboat with the chest]
Jack Sparrow: Uh, I say we respect his final wish.

Jack Sparrow: [pulls out sword and threatens Will] Can't let you do that, William. 'Cause if Jones is dead, who's to call his terrible beastie off the hunt, eh? Now, if you please. The key.
Will Turner: [Pulls his sword on Jack] I keep the promises I make, Jack. I intend to free my father. I hope you're here to see it.
Norrington: [Norrington draws his sword, points it at Will] I can't let you do that, either. So sorry.
Jack Sparrow: [to Norrington] I knew you'd warm up to me eventually.
Norrington: [Norrington points his sword at Jack] Lord Beckett desires the contents of that chest. I deliver it, I get my life back.
Jack Sparrow: Ah. The dark side of ambition.
Norrington: Oh, I prefer to see it as the promise of redemption.

Gibbs: [Tia Dalma just uncovered Jack's Black Spot] The Black Spot!
[he does a strange superstitous dance]
Ragetti: The Black Spot!
Pintel: Black Spot!
[Pintel and Ragetti do the same dance]
Jack Sparrow: My eyesight's as good as ever, just so you know.

Norrington: [drunk and angry] So am I worthy to serve under Captain Jack Sparrow...
[he draws his pistol and points it at Jack, who is hiding behind a pole]
Norrington: ... or should I just kill you now?
Jack Sparrow: [tries and fails to hide behind his pole] You're hired!
Norrington: Sorry. Old habits and all that.
[smiles and prepares to pull the trigger]

Jack Sparrow: [talking about Jack's debt to Jones] You already have my payment. One soul to serve on your ship is already over there.
Davey Jones: One soul is not equal to another.
Jack Sparrow: Ah-ha! So, we've established my proposal as sound in principle. Now, we're just haggling over price.

'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: Jones's terrible leviathan will find you, and drag the Pearl back to the depths and you along with it!
Jack Sparrow: Any idea when Jones might release said terrible beastie?
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: I already told you, Jack. Your time is up.
[he grabs Jack's hand and folds it into a fist, as if handing him something]
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: It comes now, drawn with ravenous hunger to the man what bears the Black Spot.
[Jack unfolds his hand and sees the Black Spot appear on his palm]

Gibbs: [Jack's hat is tossed overboard by the monkey while the Black Pearl is fleeing the Kraken] Jack's hat!
[the crew gathers at the rail]
Gibbs: Clear about!
Jack Sparrow: No, no! Leave it!
[the whole crew stares at him incredulously]
Jack Sparrow: Run!
[he runs away]
Gibbs: [he looks at the crew] Back to yer stations, the lot o' ye!
[he finds Jack hiding underneath the stairs]
Gibbs: Jack?
Jack Sparrow: Shhh.
Gibbs: For the love of Mother and Child, Jack, what's coming after us?
Jack Sparrow: [short pause] Nothing.

Jack Sparrow: [to Elizabeth] One word love: curiosity. You long for freedom. You long to do what you want to do because you want it. To act on selfish impulse. You want to see what it's like. One day you won't be able to resist.

Jack Sparrow: [after being covered in mucus after the Kraken roars at him] Not so bad...
[wipes the slime from his face]
Jack Sparrow: [he looks down and sees his old hat] Oh!
[reaches for his hat and puts it on]
Jack Sparrow: 'Ello, beastie.
[smiles and draws his sword]

Jack Sparrow: So what's your plan, then?
Will Turner: I row over, search the ship until I find your bloody key.
Jack Sparrow: And if there are crewmen?
Will Turner: I cut down anyone in my path.
Jack Sparrow: [turns to Gibbs] I like it. Simple, easy to remember.

Tia Dalma: The compass you bartered from me it cannot lead you to this?
Jack Sparrow: Maybe. Why?
Tia Dalma: Ah, Jack Sparrow does not know what he wants.

Jack Sparrow: No, no! More wood! Big fire! I am chief! Want big fire!

Jack Sparrow: Mr. Gibbs.
Gibbs: Captain.
Jack Sparrow: We have a need to travel upriver.
Gibbs: By "need," do you mean a trifling need? Fleeting? As in, say, a passing fancy?
Jack Sparrow: No, a resolute and unyielding need.

Jack Sparrow: [heavily] She's only a ship, mate.

Jack Sparrow: You mistrust me? Listen, you can mistrust him, trust me.

Gibbs: Where's the Commodore?
Jack Sparrow: He fell behind.
Gibbs: [solemnly] My prayers be with him.
[suddenly brightens]
Gibbs: Best not wallow in our grief!

Elizabeth Swann: Why doesn't your compass work?
Jack Sparrow: ...My compass works fine.

Norrington: Do excuse me while I kill the man who ruined my life.
Will Turner: Be my guest.
Jack Sparrow: Let us examine that claim for a moment, former Commodore, shall we? Who was it that, at the very moment you had a notorious pirate safely behind bars, saw fit to free said pirate and take your dearly beloved all to hisself, eh? So whose fault is it *really* that you've ended up a rum-pot deckhand what takes orders from pirates?
Norrington: ENOUGH!
[Jack somersaults off roof, Norrington turns to Will]
Norrington: Unfortunately Mr. Turner, he's right!

Jack Sparrow: Have you not met Will Turner? He's noble, heroic - terrific soprano. Worth at least four... maybe three and a half. And did I happen to mention... he's in love? With a girl. Due to be married. Betrothed. Dividing him from her and her from him would only be half as cruel as actually allowing them to be joined in holy matrimony, eh?

Jack Sparrow: Darling, I am truly unhappy to have to tell you this, but through an unfortunate and entirely unforeseeable series of circumstances that had nothing whatsoever to do with me, poor Will has been press-ganged into Davy Jones's crew.

Jack Sparrow: To what do I owe the pleasure of your carbuncle?
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: He sent me. Davy Jones.

Jack Sparrow: [to Pintel and Ragetti] Guard the boat, mind the tide... don't touch my dirt.

Jack Sparrow: [Jack looks at the sleeping crew] As you were, gents.

Jack Sparrow: How did you get here?
Will Turner: Sea turtles, mate. A pair of them strapped to my feet.
Jack Sparrow: Not so easy, is it?

Elizabeth Swann: Thank you, Jack.
Jack Sparrow: We're not free yet, love.
Elizabeth Swann: You came back. I always knew you were a good man.
[kisses him to distract him, then handcuffs him to the mast]
Elizabeth Swann: It's after you, not the ship. It's not us. This is the only way, don't you see?
[unconvincingly]
Elizabeth Swann: I'm not sorry.
Jack Sparrow: [almost understandingly] Pirate.

Tia Dalma: You know of Davy Jones? A man of the sea, a great sailor. Until he run afoul of that which vexes all men.
Will Turner: What vexes all men?
Tia Dalma: What indeed.
Gibbs: The sea?
Pintel: Sums?
Ragetti: The dichotomy of good and evil?
Jack Sparrow: A woman.
Tia Dalma: A woman. He fell in love.
Gibbs: No, no, I heard it was the sea he fell in love with.
Tia Dalma: [annoyed] Same story, different versions. And all are true. See, it was a woman as changing and harsh and untamable as the sea. Him never stopped loving her. But the pain it caused was to much to live with, but not enough to cause him to die.
Will Turner: What exactly did he put into the chest?
Tia Dalma: Him heart.
Ragetti: Literally or figuratively?
Pintel: He couldn't literally put his heart in a chest. Could he?
Tia Dalma: It was not worth feeling what small, fleeting joy life brings.

Gibbs: So, we're setting out to find whatever this key unlocks?
Jack Sparrow: No. If we don't have the key, we can't open whatever we don't have that it unlocks. So what purpose would be served in finding whatever need be unlocked, which we don't have, without first having found the key what unlocks it?
Gibbs: So, we're setting out to find this key?
Jack Sparrow: Now you're not making any sense at all.

Will Turner: This... is going to save Elizabeth?
Jack Sparrow: How much do you know about Davey Jones?
Will Turner: Not much.
Jack Sparrow: Yeah, it's gonna save Elizabeth.

Jack Sparrow: Gentlemen, what do keys do?
Leech: Keys... unlock... *things*?

Jack Sparrow: [to Elizabeth about Will who's knocked out] Leave 'im lie... unless you're planning to use him to hit somethin' with.

Gibbs: [after Jack shoots the monkey] You know that don't do no good.
Jack Sparrow: It does me.

Jack Sparrow: My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are troubled.

Will Turner: If we can outrun her, we can take her. We should turn and fight.
Jack Sparrow: Why fight when you can negotiate?

Elizabeth Swann: It's real!
Norrington: You actually were telling the truth.
Jack Sparrow: I do that quite a lot. Yet people are always surprised.
Will Turner: With good reason.

Tia Dalma: You have a touch of destiny about you, William Turner.
Will Turner: You know me?
Tia Dalma: You want to know me.
Jack Sparrow: There'll be no knowing here! We've come for help and were not leaving without it.
[to Tia]
Jack Sparrow: I thought I knew you...

Cotton's Parrot: [squawk] Walk the plank!
Jack Sparrow: [pulls out gun and points it at the bird] What did the bird say?

Jack Sparrow: No worries! Tia Dalma and I go way back... thick as thieves, nigh inseparable we are... were... have been... before...
Gibbs: I'll watch yer back.
Jack Sparrow: It's me front I'm worried about.
Gibbs: [to Will] Mind the boat.
Will Turner: [to Ragetti] Mind the boat.
Ragetti: [to Pintel] Mind the boat.
Pintel: [to Marty] Mind the boat.
Marty: [to Cotton's parrot] Mind the boat.
Cotton's Parrot: [to Cotton] Mind the boat.
[It flies off, leaving Cotton to pout and sit back down in the boat]

Davey Jones: I wonder, Sparrow, can you live with this? Can you condemn an innocent man, a friend, to a lifetime of servitude in your name while you roam free?
Jack Sparrow: [thinks for a second] Yep. I'm good with it.

Jack Sparrow: How are we going?
Gibbs: Including those four? That gives us... four.

Jack Sparrow: Is this a dream?
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: No.
Jack Sparrow: I thought not. If it were, there'd be rum.
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: [hands him a bottle of rum]

Davey Jones: You have a debt to pay. You've been captain of the Black Pearl for thirteen years. That was our agreement.
Jack Sparrow: Technically, I was only captain for two years, then I was viciously mutinied upon.
Davey Jones: Then you were a poor captain, but a captain nonetheless! Have you not introduced yourself all these years as "Captain Jack Sparrow"?

Tia Dalma: You know I demand payment.
Jack Sparrow: I brought payment. Look.
[brings out the monkey in a cage, shoots him]
Jack Sparrow: An undead monkey! Top that!
Tia Dalma: [releases the monkey from the cage]
Gibbs: [muttered] No...
[Speaking clearly]
Gibbs: You've no idea how long it took us to catch that.
Tia Dalma: The payment is fair...

Jack Sparrow: You look bloody awful, what are you doing here?
Norrington: You hired me. I can't help it if your standards are lax.
Jack Sparrow: [immaturely] You smell funny.

Gibbs: [as Jack steps onto the ship] Not quite according to plan...
Jack Sparrow: Complications arose, ensued, were overcome.

Jack Sparrow: Savvy?

Jack Sparrow: Er, Mr. Gibbs...
Gibbs: Aye.
Jack Sparrow: I feel sullied and unusual.

Marty: [Marty picks up the cloth] It's a key!
Jack Sparrow: No! Much more better. It is a *drawing* of a key.

Jack Sparrow: [to Norrington] Still rooting for you, mate!

[repeated line]
Jack Sparrow: Oh bugger.

Jack Sparrow: [empties bottle of rum] Why is the rum always gone?
Jack Sparrow: [stands up and staggers drunkenly] Oh... that's why.

Jack Sparrow: [to cannibals] *Alas*, my children! This is the day you shall always remember as the day that you almost...
[gets splashed by a wave]
Jack Sparrow: ...Captain Jack Sparrow.

Jack Sparrow: My compass is unique.
Norrington: *Unique* here having the meaning of *broken*?
Jack Sparrow: True enough.

Elizabeth Swann: There will come a time when you have a chance to do the right thing.
Jack Sparrow: I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.

Jack Sparrow: [to Elizabeth] You know, these clothes do not flatter you at all. It should be a dress or nothing. I happen to have no dress in my cabin.

Jack Sparrow: [describing Will to the cannibal villagers] Lum se se, eunuch-y. Snip snip.

Jack Sparrow: Gentlemen... what do keys do?
Leech: Keys unlock... things?
Gibbs: And whatever this key unlocks, inside there's something valuable. So we're setting out to find whatever this key unlocks!
Jack Sparrow: No. If we don't have the key, we can't open whatever it is we don't have that it unlocks. So what purpose would be served in finding whatever need be unlocked, which we don't have, without first having found the key what unlocks it?
Gibbs: So we're going after this key!
Jack Sparrow: You're not making any sense at all.

Jack Sparrow: Ah! A heading. Set sail in a... uh... a general... that way! direction.

Marty: Do we have a heading?
Jack Sparrow: Ah! A heading! Set sail in a general...
[points around vaguely]
Jack Sparrow: *That* way direction.

Will Turner: Jack, Elizabeth is in danger!
Jack Sparrow: Have you considered keeping more watchful eye on her? Maybe just lock her up somewhere.

Will Turner: That's the Flying Dutchman? It doesn't look like much.
Jack Sparrow: Neither do you. Do not underestimate.

Jack Sparrow: I want my jar of dirt!

---

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007)

Jack Sparrow: He needs the Pearl. Captain Turner needs the Pearl,
Jack Sparrow: [to Elizabeth] and you felt guilty,
Jack Sparrow: [to Barbossa] and you and your Brethren Court.
Jack Sparrow: Did no one come to save me just because they missed me?
[Everyone looks around. Pintel, Ragetti, and Jack The Monkey cautiously raise their hands]
Jack Sparrow: I'm standing over there with them.

Jack Sparrow: Cuttlefish. Eh? Let us not, dear friends, forget our dear friends the cuttlefish... flipper conories little sausages. Pin them up together and they will devour each other without a second thought... Human nature, in'it? Ooor... fish nature... So yes... we could hold up here well-provisioned and well-armed and half of us would be dead within the month! Which seems grim to me any way you slice it! Or... ahh... as my learned colleague so naively suggests, we can release Calypso, and we can pray that she will be merciful... I rather doubt it. Can we in fact pretend that she is anything other than a woman scorned, like which fury Hell hath no? We cannot. Res ipsa loquitur, tabula in naufragio, we are left with but one option. I agree with, and I cannot believe the words are coming out of me mouth... Captain Swann. We must fight.

Captain Ammand: [about Barbossa] Shoot him!
Captain Jocard: Cut out his tongue!
Jack Sparrow: Shoot him and cut out his tongue, then shoot his tongue! And trim that scraggly beard!

Jack Sparrow: Why should I sail with any of you? Four of you have tried to kill me in the past... one of you succeeded.
[looks at Elizabeth]
Jack Sparrow: Oh, she's not told you. You'll have loads to talk about while you're here. As for you...
[going to Tia Delma]
Tia Dalma: Now don't tell me you didn't enjoy it at the time.
Jack Sparrow: Fair enough. You're in.
[begins going do the line of pirates on the beach]
Jack Sparrow: Don't need you, you scare me.
[to Ragetti]
Jack Sparrow: Gibbs, you can come. Marty, Cotton... Cotton's parrot, I'm a little iffy... At least I'll have someone to talk to... Who are you?
[to Tai Huang]
Tai Huang: Tai Huang. These are my men.
Jack Sparrow: Where does your allegiance lie?
Tai Huang: With the highest bidder.
Jack Sparrow: I have a ship.
Tai Huang: That makes you the highest bidder.
Jack Sparrow: Good man. 'Weigh anchor all hands. Prepare to make sail.
[takes out compass]
Jack Sparrow: [Cotton's parrot] 'Weigh anchor.
Barbossa: Jack... Which way ya goin' Jack?

Jack Sparrow: [examining the map] Up is down. That's just maddingly unhelpful. Why are these things never clear?
Miniature Jack 1: [voice] Clear as mud, Jackie...
Jack Sparrow: What? Eh?
Miniature Jack 1: [appearing from Jack's left dreadlocks] Stab the heart.
Miniature Jack 2: [appearing from Jack's right dreadlocks] Don't stab the heart.
Jack Sparrow: Come again?
Miniature Jack 2: The Dutchman must have a captain...
Jack Sparrow: Well that's even more than less than unhelpful.
Miniature Jack 1: Sail the seas for eternity.
Jack Sparrow: [smiling] I love the sea...
Miniature Jack 2: What about port?
Jack Sparrow: I prefer rum... Rum is good.
Miniature Jack 2: Making port, where we can get rum and sultry wenches... once every ten years.
Miniature Jack 1: What'd he say?
Jack Sparrow: Once every ten years.
Miniature Jack 1: Ten years is a long time, mate.
Jack Sparrow: Even longer, given the deficit of rum.
Miniature Jack 1: ...But eternity is longer still.
Miniature Jack 2: And how'll you be spending it? Dead?
Miniature Jack 1: ...Or not... The immortal Captain Sparrow.
Jack Sparrow: Well, I like that.
Miniature Jack 2: [looking out to the sea] Come sunset and it won't matter.
Jack Sparrow: [realizing] ... Not sunset... Sundown! And Rise... Up!

Jack Sparrow: William, tell me somethin'. Have you come because you need my help to save a certain distressin' damsel? Or... rather damsel in distress? Either one...
Will Turner: No.
Jack Sparrow: Well, then you wouldn't be here, would you? So you can't be here! Q.E.D. - you're not really here!

Jack Sparrow: You may kill me but you may never insult me! Who am I?
Lord Cutler Beckett: [Beckett falters, confused]
Jack Sparrow: [Weakly, equally puzzled by Beckett's inability to guess] I'm Captain Jack Sparrow!

Jack Sparrow: Belay that, belay that!

Jack Sparrow: We must fight, to run away!

Will Turner: [after Jack suggests that someone else besides Will should kill Davey Jones] Who?
[notices Jack smugly grinning]
Will Turner: You?
Jack Sparrow: Death has a way of reshuffling one's priorities. I slip aboard the Dutchman, find the heart, take it, stab the beating thing, free your father from his debt, and you are free to be with your charming murderess.
Will Turner: And you're willing to cut your heart out? Bind yourself to the Dutchman, forever?
Jack Sparrow: No, mate. I'm free forever. Free to sail the seas beyond the edges of the map, free from death itself.
Will Turner: But you have to do the job, Jack. You have to ferry souls to the next world... or end up like Jones
[makes a gesture of the tentacles Jones has on his face. Jack cringes and strokes his own beard]
Jack Sparrow: I haven't the face for tentacles. But, immortality has to count for something, eh? Oh...
[hands Will his magic compass]
Will Turner: What's this for?
Jack Sparrow: Think like me. It will come to you.
[leans forward and breathes his rummy breath into Will's face. Will staggers back and falls of the Pearl. Jack sends the last body tied to a barrel overboard next to him as the Pearl sails away]
Jack Sparrow: My regards to Davey Jones!
Will Turner: [pulls himself onto the barrel, glaring at the Pearl and Jack] I hate him!

Jack Sparrow: Send this pestilent, traitorous, cow-hearted, yeasty codpiece to the brig.

Jack Sparrow: Can't spot it. Must be a tiny thing hiding somewhere behind the Pearl.

[Barbossa is giving orders and Jack repeats the order]
Barbossa: What are you doin'?
Jack Sparrow: What are *you* doin'?
Barbossa: No, what *are* you doin'?
Jack Sparrow: What are *you* doin'?
Barbossa: *No!* What *are* you doin'?
Jack Sparrow: What are *you* doin'? Captain gives orders on the ship.
Barbossa: The captain of the ship *is* givin' orders.
Jack Sparrow: My ship, makes me captain.
Barbossa: They be my charts!
Jack Sparrow: Well, that makes you
[pause]
Jack Sparrow: chartman.
Pintel: Stow it! Both of you! That's an order! Understand?
[Jack and Barbossa stare at him]
Pintel: Sorry. I just thought with the Captain issue in doubt, I'd throw my name in for consideration, sorry.
Ragetti: [to Pintel] I'd vote for you.

Jack Sparrow: [walking Scarlett and Giselle to the Black Pearl] Granted it tends to list to port and has been on occasion known to frighten young women. But I promise you, you will not be disappointed.
Scarlett: [seeing a dinghy instead of the Pearl] Is that it? The Black Pearl. Not very big.
Jack Sparrow: Love, that is a dinghy. My vessel is magnificent and fierce and huge-ish. And gone. Why is it gone?
Giselle: [sees a ship in distance] Is that it there?
Jack Sparrow: Yes, there it is! Why is it there?... Its much larger up close.

Davy Jones: Harridan! You'll see no mercy from me!
[upon seeing Elizabeth on the ship]
Elizabeth Swann: That's why I brought this.
[drawing her sword to fight]
Davy Jones: [Will stabs Davy Jones with a sword] Missed! Did you forget, I'm a heartless creature.
[seeing Will looking at Elizabeth]
Davy Jones: Ah, love: a dreadful bond, and yet so easily severed. Tell me William Turner, do you fear death?
Jack Sparrow: Do you?
[Turns to see Jack holding the heart]
Jack Sparrow: Heady tonic, holding life and death in the power of one's hand.
Davy Jones: [snearing] You're a cruel mind, Jack Sparrow.
Jack Sparrow: Cruel is a matter of perspective.

Will Turner: I said to myself, think like Jack.
Jack Sparrow: This is what you've arrived at? Lead Beckett to Shipwreck Cove so as to gain his trust, accomplish your own ends? It's like you don't know me at all, mate. And how does your dearly beloved feel about this plan? Ah, you've not seen fit to trust her with it.

Captain Chevalle: There has not been a king since the first brethren court, and that is not likely to change!
Captain Teague: Not likely.
Elizabeth Swann: Why not?
Gibbs: Because the pirate king is elected by popular vote...
Barbossa: ...and each pirate only votes for himself
Jack Sparrow: I call for a vote.
[Barbossa rolls his eyes as Captain Teague starts playing the guitar]
Captain Ammand: I vote for Ammand, the Corsair!
Captain Chevalle: Captain Chevalle, the penniless Frenchman!
Mistress Ching: Mistress Ching!
Elizabeth Swann: Elizabeth Swann.
Barbossa: Barbossa.
Captain Jocard: Gentleman Jocard!
Captain Vallenueva: Captain Vallenueva.
[Captain Teague stops playing his guitar]
Jack Sparrow: Elizabeth Swann.
[the court begins to yell]
Elizabeth Swann: What?
Jack Sparrow: I know. Curious, isn't it?

Jack Sparrow: Come sunset, it won't matter.

Barbossa: [Jack and Barbossa see the dead Kraken] Still thinkin' of running, Jack? Think you can outrun the world? You know the problem with being the last of anything, by and by there be none left at all.
Jack Sparrow: Sometimes things come back mate. We're livin' proof, you and me.
Barbossa: Aye, but that's a gamble of long odds, ain't it? There's never a guarantee of comin' back. But passin' on, that's dead certain.
Jack Sparrow: Summoning the brethren court then, is it?
Barbossa: It's our only hope, lad.
Jack Sparrow: That's a sad commentary in and of itself.
Barbossa: The world used to be a bigger place.
Jack Sparrow: World's still the same. There's just less in it.

Jack Sparrow: Nobody move! Dropped me brain.

Jack Sparrow: I have no sympathy for any of you feculent maggots and no more patience to pretend otherwise. Gentlemen, I wash my hand of this weirdness.

Will Turner: I'm losing her, Jack. Every step I make for my father is a step away from Elizabeth.
Jack Sparrow: Mate, if you choose to lock your heart away you'll lose it for certain.

Captain Jocard: Who is this traitor?
Barbossa: Not likely one among us.
Elizabeth Swann: Where's Will?
Jack Sparrow: Not among us.

Jack Sparrow: You know, for all that pirates are clever-called, we are an unimaginative lot when it comes to naming things.
Gibbs: Like?
Jack Sparrow: I once sailed with a geezer lost both his arms and part of his eye.
Gibbs: What did you call him?
Jack Sparrow: [pause] Larry.

Gibbs: Jack! The world needs you back something fierce!
Will Turner: Cutler Beckett has the heart of Davy Jones, he controls the Flying Dutchman.
Elizabeth Swann: He's taking over the sea!
Tia Dalma: The song has already been sung! The brethren court is called!
Jack Sparrow: I leave you people alone for just a minute look what happens, everything's gone to pot!

[Jack is about to eat a peanut when a shot is heard. He falls to the ground to reveal ANOTHER Jack Sparrow]
Jack Sparrow: [picking up the peanut] MY peanut!

Elizabeth Swann: [of the Pirate Lords and their crews fighting each other] This is madness.
Jack Sparrow: This is politics.

Barbossa: The world used to be a bigger place.
Jack Sparrow: The world's still the same - there's just less in it.

Elizabeth Swann: [after she sees her father in a boat sailing by the Black Pearl in Davy Jones's Locker] That's my father, we've made it back! Father! Father! Look here!
Jack Sparrow: [solemly] Elizabeth, we're not back.
[Elizabeth's smile starts to fade]

Jack Sparrow: Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness.

Jack Sparrow: [holding Davy Jones heart] Heady tonic, holding the power of life and death in one's hand.

Jack Sparrow: Why would he do that? Because he's a lummox, isn't he? Well we shall have a magnificent garden party and you're not invited!

Jack Sparrow: [in reply to Gibbs' remark about tradition] I've never actually been one for tradition.

[Scarlett and Giselle are fighting, Jack watches the Pearl sail away]
Jack Sparrow: Ladies, will you please shut it! Listen to me.
[to Giselle]
Jack Sparrow: Yes, I lied to you.
[to Scarlett]
Jack Sparrow: No, I don't love you.
[to Giselle]
Jack Sparrow: Of course it makes you look fat.
[to Scarlett]
Jack Sparrow: I've never been to Brussels.
[to Giselle]
Jack Sparrow: It is pronounced *egregious*.
[to Scarlett]
Jack Sparrow: By the way, no. I've never actually met Pizarro, but I love his pies.
[to both]
Jack Sparrow: And all of this pales to utter insignificance in light of the fact that my ship is once again gone. Savvy?
[Giselle slaps him, Scarlett slaps him, he slaps Gibbs]

Jack Sparrow: How's mum?
[Captain Teague holds up a decayed shrunken head]
Jack Sparrow: [revolted] ... She looks great.

Lord Cutler Beckett: You're mad.
Jack Sparrow: Thank goodness for that, 'cause if I wasn't this would probably never work.
[catapults himself onto his ship landing safely on his feet behind his crew]
Jack Sparrow: And that was without even a single drop of rum.

[last lines]
Jack Sparrow: Drink up, me hearties, yo ho!

Jack Sparrow: Think like the whelp. Think like the whelp... Think like the whelp...
[sees bars]
Jack Sparrow: Half barrel hinges.
Jack Sparrow: Leverage...
[breaks cell gate]

Jack Sparrow: You may throw my hat if you wish.
[Gibbs throws Jack's hat]
Jack Sparrow: Now go and get it.

Jack Sparrow: Close your eyes and pretend it's all a bad dream. That's how I get by.

Jack Sparrow: I don't have the face for tentacles.

Barbossa: There's not been a gatherin' like this in our lifetime.
Jack Sparrow: And I owe them all money.

Elizabeth Swann: Jack, it would never have worked out between us.
Jack Sparrow: Keep telling yourself that, darling.
[Elizabeth tries to kiss Jack and he moves away]
Jack Sparrow: Once was quite enough!

Jack Sparrow: I agree with, and I cannot belive the words are coming out of me mouth... Captain Swann. We must fight.

Jack Sparrow: [to Tia Dalma] You add an agreeable sense of the macabre to any delirium.

Jack Sparrow: He was quite charming, wasn't he?

Jack Sparrow: William, have you noticed something? Or rather, have you noticed something that's not there to be noticed?
Will Turner: You haven't raised an alarm.
Jack Sparrow: Odd, isn't it? Not as odd as this...
[referring to Will strapping the dead bodies of East India Co. soldiers to barrels and dropping them overboard]
Jack Sparrow: Come out with all this by your own son, did you?

Jack Sparrow: I leave you people alone for just a minute and look what happens. Everything's gone to pot!

Jack Sparrow: If I may lend a machete to your intellectual thicket.

Davy Jones: Ha ha... Lookie here boys. A lost bird. A lost bird that never learned to fly!
Jack Sparrow: To my great regret. But, it's never too late to learn!
[uses the Dead Man's Chest to trigger a line to pull him up to the Flying Dutchman's mast]

Davy Jones: Do you fear death?
Jack Sparrow: You have no idea.

Jack Sparrow: Now we're being followed by rocks. Never had that one before.

Davy Jones: You can do nothing without the key!
Jack Sparrow: I already have the key!
Davy Jones: [shows the key] No you don't.
Jack Sparrow: Oh, that key.

Elizabeth Swann: I propose an exchange. Will leaves with us. And you can take Jack.
Will Turner: Done.
Jack Sparrow: Undone.
Lord Cutler Beckett: Done.
Barbossa: [to Elizabeth] Jack's one of the nine pirate lords. You have no right.
Elizabeth Swann: [with defiance] King!

Elizabeth Swann: Sao Feng is dead. He fell to the Flying Dutchman.
Mistress Ching: The plagued ship?
Jack Sparrow: He made you captain? They're giving the bloody title away now.

Gibbs: [Jack and Elizabeth climb back onto the Black Pearl] Thank goodness, Jack! The armada's still out there, the Endeavour is coming hard on starboard, and I think its time we embrace that oldest and noblest of pirate traditions.
Jack Sparrow: [looks out towards the Endeavour] Never actually been one for tradition... Close haul her! Luff the sails and lay her in irons!
Barbossa: Belay that, or we'll be a sittin' duck!
Jack Sparrow: Belay that, belay that!
Jack Sparrow: [crew starts arguing with him] Belay! Belay! No! Stow! Shut it!

Elizabeth Swann: We've come to rescue you.
Jack Sparrow: Have you not. It's very kind of you. But it would seem that as I possess a ship and you don't you're the ones in need of rescuing and I'm not sure that I'm in the mood.

Davy Jones: [after Sparrow has been pulled to the mast of the Dutchman] The chest! Hand it over!
Jack Sparrow: I can set you free, mate!
Davy Jones: My freedom was forfeit long ago!

Barbossa: [during parlay on sandbar, to Will] You be the curr that led these wolves to our door?
Lord Cutler Beckett: Don't blame Turner, he was merely the tool of your betrayal. If you wish to see its grand architect, look to your left.
Jack Sparrow: [Barbossa, Elizabeth, and Jack look left. Jack looks at Elizabeth] My hands are clean in this, figuratively.
Will Turner: My actions were my own and to my own purpose. Jack had nothing to do with it.
Jack Sparrow: Well spoke, listen to the tool!

---

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Legend of Jack Sparrow (2006) (VG)

Will Turner: Are we at war with the Spanish?
Jack Sparrow: [a cannon is fired, barely missing the ship] Evidently.

Madame Tang: [after stealing his treasure] Good-bye, Jack Sparrow
Jack Sparrow: That's not nice, she didn't call me 'Captain'.

Will Turner: [a pig walks by, Will is looking the other way] Duck
Jack Sparrow: Don't be redicules, that's not a duck, it's a...
Will Turner: [a cannon is fired at them] DUCK!

Jack Sparrow: We are notorious pirates and regretably we must steal one of your fireworks.
Jack Sparrow: [a man turns into a guard] ... or we can pay.

Don Carrera De La Vega: I am Don Carrera De La Vega. Why do you fly British colours?
Jack Sparrow: This is a stolen flag. Filled with remorse, we are on our way to deliver it back.

Will Turner: [after Madame Tang has just stolen the Dragon's Eye and taken off] Shall we give chase?
Jack Sparrow: After you.

Elizabeth Swann: [after Jack finds the treasure chest on Rum Island] Well, we're no less marooned on this island than before, Jack.
Jack Sparrow: Ah! But now we're marooned AND rich!
[He opens the chest, and it blows him and Elizabeth backwards, while the chest sinks into the sand. Sand Creatures then pop up out of the sand]
Jack Sparrow: Just once, I'd like to find a treasure chest that's not had a curse laid upon it! JUST ONCE!

Jack Sparrow: I've had a bad experience with mutinies.

Stubb: Took you long enough you dithering imbecile! We've been waiting in that swamp for so long, I'll be pulling leeches of me nether parts for ages!
Jack Sparrow: Ah Stubb, your verbiage always conjurs up such a lovely visage.

Pirate: Yes, this will fetch me a good price.
Jack Sparrow: Are we having pronoun issues?

Will Turner: Where did you get your information?
Jack Sparrow: From a man who heard it from a man who got it from a man who swears on pain of death that it's genuine. I'd stake my reputation on it.
Will Turner: Jack, your name is synonymous with weasel.
Jack Sparrow: Then how did I convince you to come along?
Will Turner: That is a mystery for the ages.

Will Turner: We can do this! We can escape!
Jack Sparrow: Possible, though not probable. There's still a large army below with His Royal Incontinence!

Jack Sparrow: You look terrible, boy. You must take pride in your appearance.

Madame Tang: Follow me if you must, Jack Sparrow, but you will never leave this place alive!
Jack Sparrow: What say I merely trail you a discreet distance, then?

---

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007) (VG)

[first lines]
Captain Teague Sparrow: You would sleep through you're own hanging JACK.
Captain Jack Sparrow: I just assumed they'd wake me.

Tia Dalma: One of the Pirate Lords, he calls himself Capitaine Chevalle, is here in Port Royal.
Captain Jack Sparrow: Nothing to it then.
Tia Dalma: Due to be hanged.
Captain Jack Sparrow: Why can't these Pirate Lords behave themselves?

[last lines]
Black Bart: Well well, if it isn't the famous Jack Sparrow.
Captain Jack Sparrow: Captain Jack Sparrow.

Captain Sao Feng: You promised me Jack Sparrow, Mr. Turner.
Captain Jack Sparrow: You promised him... me?
Will Turner: We had to trade you... to get you.
Captain Jack Sparrow: I'm having trouble seeing that, the forest from the trees and all that.

Captain Jack Sparrow: I'm afraid you have the misfortune of facing Captain Jack Sparrow!
Captain Eduardo Villaneuva: I am a pirate lord and you are nothing!

Captain Jack Sparrow: [being mutinied] I thought we were passed all this?
Captain Hector Barbossa: It's called symmetry Jack.

Governor Weatherby Swann: Jack Sparrow!
Captain Jack Sparrow: [being chased by red coats] I'm a bit pressed for time Governor!

Joshamee Gibbs: Tortuga Jack?
Captain Jack Sparrow: Aye, it's never not a good idea to sail to Tortuga.

Will Turner: [pointing out a wreck] Jack! Could that be Davy Jones' ship?
Captain Jack Sparrow: Unlikely. Times may have run tough for old Davy but he won't have run afoul of any shoals. The real Dutchman is much...
[a great ship emerges from the ocean]
Captain Jack Sparrow: bigger, in a monstrous, slime covered way. That's the Flying Dutchman.

Captain Jack Sparrow: Not so fast Mr. Norrington. Your particular rescue ends here.
[Elizabeth gives him a look, he steps back]
Commodore James Norrington: Every dog has it's day Sparrow.
Captain Jack Sparrow: True enough about dogs. I'd vouch for Monday. I do so happen to have a position for a dog on my ship, if you'd be willing...

Ammand the Corsair: After all, there would not be a Conclave without...
Captain Jack Sparrow: I know, I know, the great Captain Ammand.

Captain Jack Sparrow: Ah Mistress Ching, long time no...
Mistress Ching: ...See. Jack Sparrow?
Captain Jack Sparrow: I am here to remind you of a pressing engagement, the Pirate Conclave in Shipwreck City.
Mistress Ching: Eduardo, rid me of this Conclave errand boy.
Captain Eduardo Villaneuva: You mean er... kill him?

---

Kingdom Hearts II (2005) (VG)

Capt. Jack Sparrow: [Ducks as Will extends his hand to shake] I didn't want you hitting me again mate

Capt. Jack Sparrow: [unable to remember Sora's name] Zola!

Elizabeth Swann: Ahoy mateys!
Capt. Jack Sparrow: Ridiculous imitation, but I'm flattered.

---