Joshamee Gibbs
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Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)
Gibbs: [in Tortuga signing sailors up] And what makes you think you're worthy to crew the Black Pearl?
Very Old Man: Truth be told, I've never sailed a day in me life. I think I should get out and see the world while I'm still young.
Gibbs: You'll do, make your mark. Next!
Skinny Man: My wife ran off with my dog and I'm drunk for a month and I don't give a ass rat's if I live or die.
Gibbs: Perfect, next!

Gibbs: Let's put some distance between us and this island and head out to open sea!
Jack Sparrow: Yes to the first, yes to the second, but only insofar as we keep to the shallows as much as possible.
Gibbs: That seems a bit contradictory, Captain.
Jack Sparrow: I have every faith in your reconciliatory navigational skills, Mr. Gibbs, now where is that monkey, I want to shoot something!

Tia Dalma: The Pearl's gone, along with its captain.
Gibbs: And already the world seems a little less bright. He fooled us all, right to the end. But I guess that honest streak finally won out. To Jack Sparrow.
Ragetti: Never another like Captain Jack.
Pintel: He was a gentleman of fortune, he was.
Elizabeth Swann: He was a good man.
Will Turner: If there was anything could be done to bring him back...
Tia Dalma: Would you do it? What would any of you do? Would you sail to the ends of the earth and back to fetch back witty Jack, and him precious Pearl?
Gibbs, Ragetti, Pintel: Aye!
Elizabeth Swann: Yes.
Tia Dalma: All right. But if you will brave the weird and haunted shores at world's end, then you will need a captain who knows those waters.
Barbossa: [enters] So tell me, what's become of my ship?

Gibbs: [Tia Dalma just uncovered Jack's Black Spot] The Black Spot!
[he does a strange superstitous dance]
Ragetti: The Black Spot!
Pintel: Black Spot!
[Pintel and Ragetti do the same dance]
Jack Sparrow: My eyesight's as good as ever, just so you know.

Gibbs: [while recruiting in Tortuga] And what's *your* story?
Norrington: My story? It's exactly the same as your story, just one chapter behind. I chased a man across the seven seas. The pursuit cost me my crew... my commission... and my life.
[he swigs some rum]
Gibbs: [a pause, as it dawns on him] ... Commodore?
Norrington: [suddenly angry] No, not anymore, weren't you *listening*?

Crewmember: Me have one arm and a bum leg.
Gibbs: It's the crow's nest for you.

Marty: [after burning off a few of the Kraken's tentacles] Did we kill it?
Gibbs: No... we just made it angry.

Gibbs: [Jack's hat is tossed overboard by the monkey while the Black Pearl is fleeing the Kraken] Jack's hat!
[the crew gathers at the rail]
Gibbs: Clear about!
Jack Sparrow: No, no! Leave it!
[the whole crew stares at him incredulously]
Jack Sparrow: Run!
[he runs away]
Gibbs: [he looks at the crew] Back to yer stations, the lot o' ye!
[he finds Jack hiding underneath the stairs]
Gibbs: Jack?
Jack Sparrow: Shhh.
Gibbs: For the love of Mother and Child, Jack, what's coming after us?
Jack Sparrow: [short pause] Nothing.

Jack Sparrow: Mr. Gibbs.
Gibbs: Captain.
Jack Sparrow: We have a need to travel upriver.
Gibbs: By "need," do you mean a trifling need? Fleeting? As in, say, a passing fancy?
Jack Sparrow: No, a resolute and unyielding need.

Gibbs: Where's the Commodore?
Jack Sparrow: He fell behind.
Gibbs: [solemnly] My prayers be with him.
[suddenly brightens]
Gibbs: Best not wallow in our grief!

Gibbs: And mark my words, what bodes ill for Jack Sparrow bodes ill for us all.

Gibbs: ...Commodore?
Norrington: [irritably] No, not anymore, weren't you listening?

Tia Dalma: You know of Davy Jones? A man of the sea, a great sailor. Until he run afoul of that which vexes all men.
Will Turner: What vexes all men?
Tia Dalma: What indeed.
Gibbs: The sea?
Pintel: Sums?
Ragetti: The dichotomy of good and evil?
Jack Sparrow: A woman.
Tia Dalma: A woman. He fell in love.
Gibbs: No, no, I heard it was the sea he fell in love with.
Tia Dalma: [annoyed] Same story, different versions. And all are true. See, it was a woman as changing and harsh and untamable as the sea. Him never stopped loving her. But the pain it caused was to much to live with, but not enough to cause him to die.
Will Turner: What exactly did he put into the chest?
Tia Dalma: Him heart.
Ragetti: Literally or figuratively?
Pintel: He couldn't literally put his heart in a chest. Could he?
Tia Dalma: It was not worth feeling what small, fleeting joy life brings.

Gibbs: So, we're setting out to find whatever this key unlocks?
Jack Sparrow: No. If we don't have the key, we can't open whatever we don't have that it unlocks. So what purpose would be served in finding whatever need be unlocked, which we don't have, without first having found the key what unlocks it?
Gibbs: So, we're setting out to find this key?
Jack Sparrow: Now you're not making any sense at all.

Gibbs: There's only half a dozen kegs of powder!
Will Turner: Then load the rum!
[long silence; crew stops working]
Gibbs: Aye! The rum too!

Gibbs: [after Jack shoots the monkey] You know that don't do no good.
Jack Sparrow: It does me.

Jack Sparrow: No worries! Tia Dalma and I go way back... thick as thieves, nigh inseparable we are... were... have been... before...
Gibbs: I'll watch yer back.
Jack Sparrow: It's me front I'm worried about.
Gibbs: [to Will] Mind the boat.
Will Turner: [to Ragetti] Mind the boat.
Ragetti: [to Pintel] Mind the boat.
Pintel: [to Marty] Mind the boat.
Marty: [to Cotton's parrot] Mind the boat.
Cotton's Parrot: [to Cotton] Mind the boat.
[It flies off, leaving Cotton to pout and sit back down in the boat]

Jack Sparrow: How are we going?
Gibbs: Including those four? That gives us... four.

Gibbs: Come on, lads! Lift it like a lady's skirt!

Tia Dalma: You know I demand payment.
Jack Sparrow: I brought payment. Look.
[brings out the monkey in a cage, shoots him]
Jack Sparrow: An undead monkey! Top that!
Tia Dalma: [releases the monkey from the cage]
Gibbs: [muttered] No...
[Speaking clearly]
Gibbs: You've no idea how long it took us to catch that.
Tia Dalma: The payment is fair...

Gibbs: [as Jack steps onto the ship] Not quite according to plan...
Jack Sparrow: Complications arose, ensued, were overcome.

Jack Sparrow: Er, Mr. Gibbs...
Gibbs: Aye.
Jack Sparrow: I feel sullied and unusual.

Gibbs: Heave! Heave like you're being paid for it!

Gibbs: [questioning him as he is about to sign the roster] And what makes you think you're good enough to crew the Black Pearl?
Very Old Man: Truth be told, I never sailed a day in me life. I figure I should get out, see the world while I'm still young.

Gibbs: Captain, I think the crew, meaning me as well, were expecting something a bit more... shiny. What with the Isle de Muerta going all pear-shaped, reclaimed by the sea and the treasure with it.
Leech: And the Royal Navy chasing us all around the Atlantic.
Marty: And the hurricane.

Jack Sparrow: Gentlemen... what do keys do?
Leech: Keys unlock... things?
Gibbs: And whatever this key unlocks, inside there's something valuable. So we're setting out to find whatever this key unlocks!
Jack Sparrow: No. If we don't have the key, we can't open whatever it is we don't have that it unlocks. So what purpose would be served in finding whatever need be unlocked, which we don't have, without first having found the key what unlocks it?
Gibbs: So we're going after this key!
Jack Sparrow: You're not making any sense at all.

Gibbs: [while the Pearl's crew and Will are in the bone cages on the cannibal's island] The Pelagostos made Jack their chief. But he only stays chief so long as he *acts* like a chief
Will Turner: So, Jack had no choice. He's as captive as the rest of us.
Gibbs: Worse, it turns out. See, the Pelagostos believe Jack is a god in human form, and they intend of doing him the honor of releasing him from his fleshy prison.
[Cotton takes Gibbs fingers and bites them to show a point]
Gibbs: Aaah! They will roast him and eat him.
Will Turner: Where's the rest of the crew?
Gibbs: [ominously] These cages we're in... were not built until *after* we got here.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)
Anamaria: You're daft, lady! You both are!
Mr. Gibbs: Daft like Jack.

Mr. Gibbs: Then, on the fourth day, he roped himself a couple of sea turtles, lashed 'em together and made a raft.
Will Turner: He roped a couple of sea turtles.
Mr. Gibbs: Aye. Sea turtles.
Will Turner: What did he use for rope?
Jack Sparrow: [from beside them] Human hair.
Jack Sparrow: From my back.

Young Elizabeth: I think it'd be rather exciting to meet a pirate.
Norrington: Think again, Miss Swann. Vile and dissolute creatures, the lot of them. I intend to see that any man who sails under a pirate flag or wears a pirate brand gets what he deserves: a short drop and a sudden stop.
Mr. Gibbs: [Mr. Gibbs poses as if he's been hanged]
Governor Swann: Lt. Norrington, I appreciate your fervor, but I'm concerned about the effect this subject will have upon my daughter.
Norrington: My apologies, Gov. Swann.
Young Elizabeth: Actually, I find it all fascinating.
Governor Swann: Yes. That's what concerns me.

[Jack throws a bucket of water on sleeping Gibbs]
Mr. Gibbs: Curse you for breathin' ya slack-jawed idiot. Mother's love. Jack. You should know better than to wake a man when he's sleepin'. Its bad luck.
Jack Sparrow: Fortunately, I know how to counter it; the man who did the waking buys the man who was sleeping a drink; the man who was sleeping drinks it while listening to a proposition from the man who did the waking.
Mr. Gibbs: Aye, that'll about do it.
[Will throws more water on Mr. Gibbs]
Mr. Gibbs: Blast! I'm already awake!
Will Turner: That was for the smell.

Mr. Gibbs: Leverage, says you. I think I feel a change in the wind, says I.

Jack Sparrow: You, sailor.
Mr. Gibbs: Cotton, sir.
Jack Sparrow: Mr. Cotton. Do you have the courage and fortitude to follow orders and stay true in the face of danger and almost certain death?
Jack Sparrow: Mr. Cotton. Answer, man.
Mr. Gibbs: He's a mute, sir. Poor devil had his tongue cut out, so he trained the parrot to talk for him. No one's yet figured how.
Jack Sparrow: Mr. Cotton's... parrot. Same question.
Parrot: [squawk] Wind in the sails. Wind in the sails.
Mr. Gibbs: Mostly, we figure, that means 'yes.'

Jack Sparrow: Anamaria.
[Anamaria slaps Jack]
Will Turner: I suppose, you didn't deserve that one either?
Jack Sparrow: No, that one I deserved.
Anamaria: You stole my boat!
Jack Sparrow: Actually...
Anamaria: [Anamaria slaps Jack again]
Jack Sparrow: Borrowed... borrowed without permission, but with every intention of bringing it back.
Anamaria: But you didn't!
Jack Sparrow: You'll get another one.
Anamaria: I will.
Will Turner: A better one.
Jack Sparrow: A better one.
Will Turner: That one.
Jack Sparrow: What one?
Will Turner: [Will looks at the Interceptor]
Jack Sparrow: That one? Aye, that one. What say you to that?
The Crew: Aye!
Mr. Gibbs: No, it's frightful bad luck to have a woman aboard.
Jack Sparrow: It would be far worse not to have her.

[shouting during severe storm]
Will Turner: How can we sail to an island that nobody can find with a compass that doesn't work?
Mr. Gibbs: Aye, the compass doesn't point North. But we're not trying to find North, are we?

Parrot: Shiver me timbers.
Mr. Gibbs: Cotton 'ere says you missed a bit.

[first lines]
Young Elizabeth: [singing] Yo, ho, yo, ho/ a pirate's life for me/ Yo, ho, yo, ho/ it's a pirate's life for me/drink up me hearties, yo, ho...
Mr. Gibbs: [surprises her by coming up from behind her] Quiet, missy! Cursed pirates sail these waters. You want to call them down on us?
Norrington: [sharply] Mr. Gibbs, that will do!
Mr. Gibbs: She was singing about pirates. Bad luck to sing about pirates, with us mired in this unnatural fog... mark my words!
Norrington: Consider them marked.
Mr. Gibbs: 'Aye, Lieutenant.
[as he moves off]
Mr. Gibbs: Bad luck to have a woman on board, too. Even a miniature one.

Mr. Gibbs: The kid's a bit of a stick, isn't he?
Jack Sparrow: You have no idea.

Mr. Gibbs: We should drop canvas, sir.
Jack Sparrow: She can hold a bit longer.
Mr. Gibbs: What's in your head, Captain, that puts you in such a fine mood?
Jack Sparrow: We're catching up.

Jack Sparrow: I thought you were supposed to keep to the code.
Mr. Gibbs: We figured they were more actual guidelines.

Young Elizabeth: Boy! There's a boy in the water!
[Everyone leans over and sees an unconscious Will]
Norrington: MAN OVERBOARD! Haul him in.
[They pull Will aboard]
Norrington: [sighs] He's still breathing.
Mr. Gibbs: Mary, mother of God!
[Everyone looks in the distance, where a destroyed British ship is in flames]

[toasting to their new partnership]
Jack Sparrow: Take what ye can!
Mr. Gibbs: Give nothin' back!

Elizabeth: Lower the anchor on the right side.
Anamaria: [looks stunned]
Elizabeth: On the starboard side!
Will Turner: It has the element of surprise.
Anamaria: You're daft lady. You both are!
Mr. Gibbs: Daft like Jack.
[turns to the crew]
Mr. Gibbs: Lower the starboard anchor!
[crew looks reluctant]
Mr. Gibbs: Do it you gobs! Or it's you we'll load into the cannons.

Mr. Gibbs: Curse ya for breathin', ya slack-jawed idiot!

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007)
Captain Chevalle: There has not been a king since the first brethren court, and that is not likely to change!
Captain Teague: Not likely.
Elizabeth Swann: Why not?
Gibbs: Because the pirate king is elected by popular vote...
Barbossa: ...and each pirate only votes for himself
Jack Sparrow: I call for a vote.
[Barbossa rolls his eyes as Captain Teague starts playing the guitar]
Captain Ammand: I vote for Ammand, the Corsair!
Captain Chevalle: Captain Chevalle, the penniless Frenchman!
Mistress Ching: Mistress Ching!
Captain Jocard: Gentleman Jocard.
Elizabeth Swann: Elizabeth Swann.
Barbossa: Barbossa.
Captain Vallenueva: Villanueva!
[Captain Teague stops playing his guitar]
Jack Sparrow: Elizabeth Swann.
[the court begins to yell]
Elizabeth Swann: What?
Jack Sparrow: I know. Curious, isn't it?

Jack Sparrow: You know, for all that pirates are clever-called, we are an unimaginative lot when it comes to naming things.
Gibbs: [nods] Aye.
Jack Sparrow: I once sailed with a geezer lost both his arms and part of his eye.
Gibbs: What did you call him?
Jack Sparrow: [pause] Larry.

Gibbs: Jack! The world needs you back something fierce!
Will Turner: Cutler Beckett has the heart of Davy Jones, he controls the Flying Dutchman.
Elizabeth Swann: He's taking over the sea!
Tia Dalma: The song has already been sung! The brethren court is called!
Jack Sparrow: I leave you people alone for just a minute and look what happens, everything's gone to pot!

Gibbs: Look alive, men! It's not for naught it's called Shipwreck Island where lie Shipwreck Cove in the town of Shipwreck.

Jack Sparrow: Mr. Gibbs!
Gibbs: Aye, cap'n?
Jack Sparrow: You may throw my hat if you wish.
Gibbs: Aye, AYE!
[Gibbs throws Jack's hat into the celebrating crowd]
Gibbs: Hurrah!
Jack Sparrow: Now go and get it.

Gibbs: Well, slap me thrice and hand me to me mama!

Pintel: [there is nothing to drink] No water. Why is all but the rum gone?
Gibbs: Rum's gone too.

Gibbs: The wind's on our side, boys! That's all we need!

Gibbs: [Jack and Elizabeth climb back onto the Black Pearl] Thank goodness, Jack! The armada's still out there, the Endeavour is coming hard on starboard, and I think its time we embrace that oldest and noblest of pirate traditions.
Jack Sparrow: [looks out towards the Endeavour] Never actually been one for tradition... Close haul her! Luff the sails and lay her in irons!
Barbossa: Belay that, or we'll be a sittin' duck!
Jack Sparrow: Belay that belay that!
Jack Sparrow: [crew starts arguing with him] Belay! Belay! No! Stow! Shut it!

Ragetti: None of that!
Gibbs: If things don't go the way we want then we're the only chance they've got!

[Everybody on the Black Pearl tries to shoot each other... and fails]
Gibbs: Wet powder!
[Everyone gets down to sailing the ship, crisis over... ]
Pintel: Wait! We can still use them as clubs!
[Ragetti tries this idea out by whacking Pintel]
Pintel: OW!
Ragetti: Sorry. Effective, though.

Pintel: Those aren't pieces of eight. They're just pieces of junk!
Gibbs: Aye, the original plan was to use nine Pieces of Eight to bind Calypso, but when the first court met the Brethren were, to a one, skint broke.
Pintel: So change the name!
Gibbs: What, to "Nine Pieces of Whatever We Happen To Have in Our Pockets At The Time"? Oh yes, that sounds very piratey!

[the ocean between the pirate fleet and Beckett's fleet starts to churn and swirl]
Gibbs: It's a maelstrom!
[a thunderstorm brews up]

Jack Sparrow, Will Turner, Elizabeth Swann, Barbossa, Gibbs: FIRE!

Gibbs: Your carriage waits, my lady! The oars are inside.
[Elizabeth bids her pirate friends farewell]
Ragetti: 'Bye, poppet.
Barbossa: MRS. Turner...
Elizabeth Swann: Jack... it would never have worked between us.
Jack Sparrow: Keep telling yourself that, darling.
[Elizabeth steps forward to kiss Jack]
Jack Sparrow: Once was quite enough!
Elizabeth Swann: Thank you.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)
Gibbs: I hear a rumor... Jack Sparrow is in London, hellbent to find the Fountain of Youth.

Gibbs: There's the Jack I know.

Gibbs: All part of the plan, yes?
Jack Sparrow: No.

Jack Sparrow: There is a girl. A female. Of the opposite sex.
Gibbs: When is there not?

Jack Sparrow: I may have had... briefly, mind you... stirrings.
Gibbs: Stirrings?
Jack Sparrow: Stirrings.
Gibbs: What, like feelings, you mean?
Jack Sparrow: No, no, no, no, not quite all the way to feelings. More like... All right feelings, damn you.

Gibbs: So the Pearl. Any idea on how to get her out?
Jack Sparrow: We shall need a crossbow, an hourglass, three goats, one of us must learn to play the trumpet, whilst the other one goes like this.
Gibbs: I know a man with a goat.
Jack Sparrow: Good. I can go like this.

[last lines]
Gibbs: I don't get it, Jack. You had the chalices, the tear, the water - you could have lived forever!
Jack Sparrow: Who's to say I won't live forever, eh? Discoverer of the Fountain of Youth. I've no say in it, Gibbs. It's a pirate's life for me.
Jack Sparrow: Savvy?

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007) (VG)
Joshamee Gibbs: Tortuga Jack?
Captain Jack Sparrow: Aye, it's never not a good idea to sail to Tortuga.