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L.J.
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Quotes for
L.J. (Character)
from Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)

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Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)
L.J.: [a Zombie walks in front of his car] GTA, Motherfucker!
[he runs over the Zombie, which flips over his car]
L.J.: Yeah! Ten points!

Major Cain: Why haven't we taken off?
[he reaches the pilot seat, and the "pilot" turns around]
L.J.: 'Cause I usually drive a Cadillac!
[punches Cain]

L.J.: [hands raised] Respect!
[drops guns]
Nemesis: Aaaurghhhh...
[analyzes L.J. and walks away]

[after hearing the S.T.A.R.S. planning to take down the Nemesis]
L.J.: You motherfuckers is crazy! Look. That big motherfucker got a rocket launcher!

[L.J. walks into a building and is surrounded by 12 S.T.A.R.S. members]
L.J.: Shit! Maybe I was safer outside. Get them guns out of my damn face.
[a S.T.A.R.S. officer hands him a shotgun]
L.J.: Motherfucker, please. Look.
[opens up his jacket revealing two gold guns]
L.J.: My shit is custom.

[Alice and Carlos have their guns pointed at each other, L.J. comes in from behind]
L.J.: Don't shoot, don't shoot. He's cool. He made a deal with Dr. Doom, same as you.

Alice: How long ago have you been bitten?
Carlos Olivera: Three hours.
L.J.: What?
Alice: Today's your lucky day.
L.J.: [to Carlos] You should have told me you were bit, motherfucker, I'm hanging with you and shit!

L.J.: Somebody get this ugly bitch off of me!

Sniper: [after taking out a zombie] Yaaahoooo! Plenty to go 'round.
L.J.: [L.J. comes into the picture looking to steal a vehicle. The sniper and L.J. then spot each other and the sniper appears to shoot at him] DON'T SHOOT!
[Instead the sniper takes out another zombie creeping up behind him]
L.J.: Thank You!... Owe you one man!
Sniper: [Bragging] I got the power!


Resident Evil: Extinction (2007)
L.J.: [he and Carlos have entered an abandoned motel] I'm gonna get me a room. I'll take a waterbed, a jacuzzi, and I'm gonna rent me a porno.

L.J.: [referring to the lack of cigarettes and marijuana] It really is the end of the world.

Betty: [nursing L.J.'s wounds] You like playing rough, huh?
L.J.: Oh, I've had worse.
Betty: I'm sure.
L.J.: But you've always been gentle with me, Betty.
Carlos Olivera: Oh, God. I'm leaving.