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: She's good. Magneto
: You have no idea.
: Got any beer? Bobby
: This is a school. Wolverine
: So that's a "no"? Bobby
: Yeah, that's a "no." Wolverine
: Got anything other than chocolate milk?
: Logan, come on. Let's go. Wolverine
: Go, I'll be fine! Rogue
: But we won't.
: I'm driving. Wolverine
: Maybe next time.
: Who's this guy? Rogue
: This is Bobby, he's my... Bobby
: I'm her boyfriend.
[shakes Logan's hand and freezes it
: Call me Iceman. Wolverine
: Boyfriend? So how do you guys...? Bobby
: Well, we're still working on that.
[during the attack on the mansion
: I can help you. Wolverine
: [Motioning to the children
] Help them!
Dr. Jean Grey
: Why do you need us? Magneto
: Mystique has discovered plans of a base that Stryker's been operating out of for decades. Only we don't know where it is. We thought one of you might. Wolverine
: The professor already tried. Magneto
] Once again, you think it's all about you.
[he looks up. They follow his gaze and see Nightcrawler perched in the trees above them
] I don't like uncomfortable silences. Rogue
: What are you doing?
[radio turns on and "Bye Bye Bye" by N'Sync Plays
: [all groan
[in the X-Jet, being pursued by two fighter jets
: I gotta shake them!
[she does a roll with the plane and drops it sharply towards the ground, then levels off
: [looking ill
] Please don't do that again. Wolverine
: [looking ill
] I agree.
: Put the knives down! Wolverine
: I can't.
: If you want to shoot me, then shoot me!
: She did make a choice, Scott. It was you.
: Who are you? William Stryker
: Don't you remember?
: Guten tag. Wolverine
: [to Nightcrawler
] Who the hell are you?
[to Jean and Storm
: Who the hell is this? Nightcrawler
: Kurt Wagner, but in the Munich circus, I was known as The Incredib... Wolverine
: Yeah, save it.
: What exactly are you a professor *of*, "Professor Logan?" Wolverine
: [Rogue, Bobby, and Pyro look at Logan, none of the kids knowing what to say
[Deathstrike extends her claws
: Holy shit.
Dr. Jean Grey
: Girls flirt with the dangerous guy, they don't bring him home; they marry the good guy. Wolverine
: I can be the good guy. Dr. Jean Grey
: Logan, the good guy sticks around.
: No one's left a scar quite like you. Wolverine
: What do you want - an apology? Mystique
: [bites him sexily on the ear
] You know what I want.
[shifts into Storm, then Rogue
: But what do you want?
[Wolverine pushes her off, then she transforms into Stryker
: What do you *really* want? Wolverine
: I want you to leave.
[Mystique exits, glaring
: [under his breath
: Have you ever wanted to be with someone so badly, but you can't?
: I've seen how you look at Professor Grey. Wolverine
: Excuse me? Bobby
: This is Cyclops' car. Wolverine
: Oh, yeah?
[pops his middle claw, and uses it to turn the ignition
: I need you to read my mind again. Professor X
: Logan, the mind isn't just a box that can be unlocked and opened, it's a beehive with many... Wolverine
: Spare me the lecture.
: Who am I? William Stryker
: If you knew the kind of person you used to be, the work we did together... People don't change, Wolverine. You were an animal then and you're an animal now. I just gave you claws.
: Logan, my tolerance for your smoking in the mansion notwithstanding, continue smoking that in here, and you'll spend the rest of your days under the belief that you're a six-year-old girl. Wolverine
: You'd do that? Professor X
: I'd have Jean braid your hair.
: How long have you been here? Bobby
: Couple of years, it's not so bad. Wolverine
: What about your parents, they just shipped you off to mutant school? Bobby
: Actually, my parents think this is a prep school. Wolverine
: Well, I guess lots of prep schools have their own campus, dorms, kitchens... Bobby
: We still love you Bobby, it's just this mutant problem is a little... Wolverine
] What Mutant problem? Madeline Drake
[Wolverine approaches Stryker, chained to the outside of the dam, while carrying Artie in his arms
] William Stryker
: Who has the answers, Wolverine? Those people? That creature in your arms? Huh? Huh?
[Wolverine looks at Artie, then takes off his "Wolverine" dog tag and throws it at Stryker's feet
: I'll take my chances with him.
[he turns and walks away
] William Stryker
: One day, someone will finish what I've started, Wolverine!
[Artie looks over Wolverine's shoulder at Stryker, and sticks out his lizard tongue at him
] William Stryker
] One day!
: You picked the wrong house, bub.
: [tosses Cyclops the keys to his motorbike
] Your bike needs gas. Cyclops
: [tosses back the keys
] Then fill it up.
: If we die, you die.
: [stabs Stryker
] How does it feel, BUB?
: Mr President, we're here to stay. The next move is yours. Wolverine
: We'll be watching.
: His name is Colonel William Stryker, and he invaded your mansion for one purpose: he wanted Cerebro, or enough of it to build one of his own. Dr. Jean Grey
: But that doesn't make any sense. Stryker would need the Professor to operate it. Magneto
: Which I think is the only reason my old friend is still alive. Storm
: Oh my God...
[Storm, Jean Gray and Magneto exchange worried looks
: What are you all so afraid of? Magneto
: While Cerebro is working, Charles's mind is connected to every living person on the planet. If he were forced to concentrate hard enough on a particular group - let's say mutants, for example - he could kill us all! Storm
: Wait a minute, how would Stryker even know where to find Cerebro in the first place? Magneto
: ...Because I told him. I helped Charles build it, remember? Mr. Stryker has powerful methods of persuasion - even against a mutant as strong as Charles.
[the X-Jet is pursued by a fleet of jets
: Somebody's pretty pissed. Wolverine
: [glares at Pyro
] I wonder why!
[Cyclops doesn't know if Logan's an imposter
: Hey! It's me. Cyclops
: Prove it! Wolverine
: You're a dick. Cyclops
: Magneto's right: there is a war coming. Are you sure you're on the right side? Storm
: At least I've chosen a side.
[about his claws
: When they come out... does it hurt? Wolverine
: Every time.
Prof. Charles Francis Xavier
: Ah, Logan. I'd like you to meet Ororo Monroe, also called Storm. This is Scott Summers, also called Cyclops. They saved your life. I believe you already know Dr. Jean Grey. You are in my School for the Gifted for Mutants. You'll be safe here from Magneto. Wolverine
: What's a Magneto? Prof. Charles Francis Xavier
: A very powerful mutant. He believes that a war is brewing between mutants and the rest of humanity. I've been following his activities for some time. The man who attacked you is an associate of his called Sabertooth. Wolverine
[looks at Storm
[looks at Xavier
: What do they call you? "Wheels"? This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Students.
[looks at Cyclops
: And Cyclops, right?
: You wanna get outta my way? Prof. Charles Francis Xavier
: Logan, it's been almost fifteen years, hasn't it? Living from day to day, moving from place to place, with no memory of who or what you are. Wolverine
: Shut up! Prof. Charles Francis Xavier
: Give me a chance. I might be able to help you find some answers. Wolverine
: How do you know? Prof. Charles Francis Xavier
] You're not the only one with special gifts.
: Jean... Dr. Jean Grey
: Scott, when I tell you, open your eyes. Cyclops
: No! Dr. Jean Grey
: Trust me.
[Wolverine takes out Cyclops' visor
: You drop something?
: Hey, bub, I'm not finished with you yet.
: [gets back his dogtags from Sabretooth
] This is mine!
: You know, you should wear your seat belt. Wolverine
: Now look, kid, I don't need advice on auto...
Dr. Jean Grey
: I think you'll be comfortable here. Wolverine
: Where's your room? Dr. Jean Grey
: With Scott, down the hall. Wolverine
: Is that your gift? Putting up with that guy? Dr. Jean Grey
: Actually, I'm telekinetic. I can move things with my mind. Wolverine
: Really? What kind of things? Dr. Jean Grey
: [shuts closet doors behind him with her mind
] All kinds of things. I also have some telepathic ability. Wolverine
: Like the Professor? Dr. Jean Grey
: Nowhere near that powerful. But he's teaching me to develop it. Wolverine
: I'm sure he is. So read my mind. Dr. Jean Grey
: I'd rather not. Wolverine
: C'mon. You afraid you might like it? Dr. Jean Grey
: I doubt it.
: The first boy I ever kissed ended up in a coma for three weeks. I can still feel him inside my head. It's the same with you. Wolverine
: There's not many people that'll understand what you're going through. But I think this guy, Xavier, is one of them. He seems to genuinely want to help you. And that's a rare thing, for people like us. So... what do you say, we give these geeks one more shot?
[Marie smiles a little
: C'mon, I'll take care of you. Rogue
: You promise? Wolverine
: Yeah... Yeah, I promise.
[Logan dons a X-Men uniform
: You actually go outside in these things? Cyclops
: Well, what would you prefer, yellow spandex?
: [on Cerebro
] Well, it certainly is a big, round room.
: You going to tell me to stay away from your girl? Cyclops
: If I had to do that, she wouldn't be my girl. Wolverine
: Well, then I guess you've got nothing to worry about, do ya, Cyclops? Cyclops
: It must burn you up that a boy like me saved your life, huh? Gotta be careful. I might not be there next time. Oh, and Logan - stay away from my girl.
: What did she do to me...? Prof. Charles Francis Xavier
: Whenever Rogue touches someone, she takes their energy: their life force. In the case of mutants, she absorbs their gifts for a short while; in your case your ability to heal. Wolverine
: Felt like she killed me... Prof. Charles Francis Xavier
: If she held on any longer, she could have.
Prof. Charles Francis Xavier
: Where are you going? Wolverine
: To find her. Storm
: How? Wolverine
: The traditional way: look!
: All right, we can insert here at the George Washington Bridge, come around the bank just off of Manhattan, land on the far side of Liberty Island, here. Wolverine
: What about harbor patrol, radar? Cyclops
: If they have anything that can pick up our jet, they deserve to catch us.
: You owe me some money. Stu's friend
: Come on, Stu. Stu
: No one takes a beating like that without a mark to show for it. Stu's friend
: Come on, Stu... Stu
: [leans in, whispering
] I know what you are. Wolverine
: You lost your money. You keep this up you'll lose something else.
: Gotta get her out of there. Cyclops, can you hit it? Cyclops
: The ring's moving too fast. Wolverine
: Just shoot it! Cyclops
: I'll kill her!
: You could fly right over the torch. Wolverine
: Then let me go. If I don't make it, then at least you can still blast the damn thing! Cyclops
: All right, do it. Jean use your power, try to steady him. Storm
: Hang on to something.
: Why do none of you understand what I'm trying to do? Those people down there- they control our fate and the fate of every other mutant! Well, soon our fate will be theirs.
[Rogue screams for help
: You're so full of shit! If you're really so righteous, it'd be you in that thing.
: That tickles. Dr. Jean Grey
: Hey. Wolverine
: Hey! Dr. Jean Grey
: How are you feeling? Wolverine
[Cyclops lands the plane abruptly
: Sorry. Wolverine
: You call that a landing?
: Wait a second! You said this machine draws its power from Magneto, and that it weakened him. Prof. Charles Francis Xavier
: Yes, in fact it nearly killed him. Wolverine
: He's going to transfer his power to Rogue and use her to power the machine.
: How is she? Dr. Jean Grey
: She's fine.
] Dr. Jean Grey
: I think she's still taken with you. Wolverine
: Well you can tell her... my heart belongs to... someone else.
: Logan, is that you? Wolverine
: [sniffs the air
] Something is wrong. Storm
: [Walks up behind him
] Come on. We need to regroup. Wolverine
: There's just one problem.
[turns and stabs Storm with his claws
: You're not part of the group!
[Storm changes into Mystique and collapses to the ground
: [to Jean Gray
] So... couldn't wait to get my shirt off again.
Prof. Charles Francis Xavier
: [at a map
] This is a military base situated near Alkali Lake. It isn't much, but if you go there, you might get a few clues as to what happened to you. Wolverine
: Thank you. Prof. Charles Francis Xavier
: [reading Logan's mind
] Are you going to say goodbye to her?
: [to the Professor
] What do you want with the Hulk? Deadpool
: We just wanna help him find his happy place. Did you see how angry he was? I mean, I'm sorry, but come on. I think his pants are too tight...
[Omega Red's tentacle wraps around his neck and starts choking him
: [after being choked by Omega Red
] Argh... so not cool... I hate that guy!
[walks towards Wolverine
: Wolverine, you look so sad. Hey, if it makes you feel any better, Lady Deathstrike tried to kill you when you were asleep. Wolverine
: Better than having to listen to you. Deadpool
: Man, does she hate you. I mean, we all hate you, but Deathstrike really, Really, REALLY hates you!
[takes out his gun
: Hey, still have that unbreakable skull?
[Points gun at Wolverine's head and fires. Screen turns black
: Oh... damn it!
: Hey! Wait for me!
[Deadpool jumps on a rampaging Hulk
: Who wants snacks? YOU do!
[Deadpool forces a grenade down the Hulk's gullet and then jumps off, landing alongside Wolverine, and the two run down a straight hallway with the Hulk in pursuit
: Logan, I think we lost him!
[the grenade inside the Hulk explodes...
: And they all lived happily ever after, except the Hulk! Wolverine
: Bub... you just made him angrier! Hulk
: Talking man hurt Hulk... HULK RIP OFF TALKING MAN'S HEAD! Deadpool
: My head? Oh, crap...! Wolverine
: He's all yours, Einstein!
[grabs Deadpool and throws him towards the Hulk
: Logan? We're friends! NO! NOOO!
[first lines in "Hulk vs. Thor"
: My name is Wolverine. I'm the best at what I do... but what I do isn't very nice.
[Wolverine comes across a man at a lake crying
: Hey, bub, you haven't seen a big monster runnin' around here, have ya? Bruce Banner
: [backing away, agitated
] No! Stay back! Get away from me! Wolverine
: Easy, crybaby, I'm not gonna... you smell toxic!
[Wolverine throws Banner into a rock
: Who are you? Bruce Banner
: Please, leave me alone. For your own sake, please.
[Wolverine pops two his blades on one arm, forming a vise on Banner's head
: Here's the deal, misty: a third claw is gonna come out unless you start talkin'!
[the Hulk advances on Wolverine
: Hey, hey, I'm on your side, you flaming idiot!
: You should've killed me when you had the chance, 'cause I'm gonna get outta here, I'm gonna kill all of them, and then... I'm gonna cut out your heart. The Professor
: Wolverine, after I'm done with you, you won't even remember this conversation. I've erased your life before, and I'm going to do it again. All you'll know is that you belong to Weapon X, now and forever.
[stabbing a drugged Bruce Banner to trigger his transformation
: Maybe that'll help speed things up!
[Wolverine wakes up in the forest
] What the hell happened?
[He pulls himself painfully to his feet, then hears a roar... and the Hulk jumps right in front of him
: Oh, yeah...
[on a plane to Elksford
: Sir, I know I'm not supposed to ask questions... but who are you?
[Wolverine glares at the soldier, who starts to tremble...
: No one you want to know, kid.
[Wolverine arrives at the ruins of Elksford
: [surveying the destruction
] Looks like someone had a bad day... Colonel
: It happened about hour hours ago, just before dawn. The creature was sighted crossing the US-Candian border. THIS is what happened when it reached civilization. Wolverine
: The creature? Colonel
: The Americans call it the Hulk. Details: sketchy. Department H thinks the U.S. Military's covering something up.
[Wolverine comes across a car wreck and smells it
: I smell something toxic... gunpowder too.
[disovers a mass of bullers
: Someone tried to fight back. Guess they didn't fight hard enough... Colonel
: Department H wants you to find and stop the Hulk before it reaches another town or city. And if you can't stop it, kill it.
[Wolverine smiles for the first time
: Sounds like fun.
[Upon being threatened by Wolverine, Bruce transforms
: Ah, hell... I don't suppose you're interested in talking this out...
[after getting beaten down by the Hulk
: Okay, bub, let's try that again...
[snarls and charges
: GAIJIN! Sabretooth
: End of the line, runt! Got any last words? Wolverine
: Yeah... TWO!
: [draws his katanas
] Let's dance!
[the Hulk tears down the Weapon X facility
: Go for it, big guy! Tear this whole godforsaken place down to the ground! DO IT! Uh-oh...
[gets thrown from the facility
[last lines in "Hulk vs. Wolverine"
: All right, bub... where were we?
[draws his claws and leaps at the Hulk
: "I know", she say. "Let's take a trip," she say. "It be fun." Huh. Some fun! Rogue
: After what we been through, lately, I figured we could use some time off. Gambit
: But you didn't tell me we'd have a chaperone! Wolverine
: Don't whine to me, this ain't my idea of a good time! Rogue
: Hey, hoser, I thought you liked to ski! Wolverine
: This is sittin' around, drinkin' cocoa, and gettin' funny looks from rich people. Rogue
: Yeah? Well, next time plan, your own durn vacation!
: Aw, Chère, wait!... Well, I hope you're happy! Wolverine
: Dunno the meanin' of the word.
: It IS gettin' kinda late. Maybe I ought to fly us there! Wolverine
: What, and spoil Gumbo's fun? Gambit
: [falls down while trying to ski
] Okay... so we don't ski much on the bayou! Rogue
] You sure you don't want help? Gambit
: Course not, Gambit's a natural athlete.
[begins to slide backwards down the hill
: [pops his claws
] Don't tell ME about God! What kind of God would let men do THIS to me? Kurt Wagner
: Our ability to understand God's purpose is limited. But we take comfort in the fact that His love... is limitless! Wolverine
: [sheathes claws
] Huh. I used to buy into all of that. But I've lived too long... and I done too much. Kurt Wagner
: Life will ALWAYS be hard. I understand this better than most. Yet, despite it all, people of EVERY faith believe there is a God who LOVES them. Can so many be wrong? Open your heart, Herr Logan. Would it hurt so much to see the world... through different eyes?
: What're you talkin' about? We're mutants! God gave up on us a long time ago! Kurt Wagner
: No, my friend. God does not give up on His children... humans or mutants.
: [reading from the Bible Nightcrawler gave him
] I will give thanks to you, oh Lord. For though You are angry with me, Your anger turned away, and You comforted me. I will trust, and I will not be afraid.
: I don't need a sermon from some circus-boy preacher!
: Where you goin'? Wolverine
: Demon huntin'. Interested? Rogue
: WHAT huntin'?
[watching Gambit miserably fail at skiing
: Man doesn't break a sweat against Apocalypse or Magneto. So, so WHAT nails him? A pine tree!
[a stunned Sabretooth falls on top of Wolverine
: Oh man... brush sometimes will ya?
: Okay, I'm THROUGH playing around! Wolverine
: Ooooh, what're ya gonna do? Eat your spinach?
: [on Sabretooth
] Looks like the kidnappers union will let anything in.
: I'm collecting dues!
: Thought you'd a'learned to watch your back! Wolverine
: Yeah. I keep underestimating the fairer sex.
: [slices a treasure chest
] Sure hope this stuff is insured...
: Every mutant on Earth seems to be in on this thing!
[Wolverine leaps onto the battle arena and gets into a defensive stance
: Special delivery!
[Wolverine makes a line in the ground with his claws and then waves for his opponent to come forward
: Wanna dance?
[Wolverine makes a line in the ground with his claws and then waves for his opponent to come forward
: Come get some!
[Wolverine makes a line in the ground with his claws and then waves for his opponent to come forward
: Over here, bub!
[after winning a round
: Second best don't cut it, bub!
: Well, what do ya know? If the runt hadn't trashed the place, I coulda had tin-plated bones too! Wolverine
: You oughta thank me.
: You know this place? Wolverine
: I got my bones here.
: Kayla, we were here. It happened, I know it did...
[Fox pushes him away
: What does it all mean, Hank? I came here to find answers and now I know less than I did before. I can't even trust my own memories!
: What is this, Fox? Hoser Hollywood?
: Stay low, stay quiet, stay alive.
: Hines and Cornelius. You know who I am? Carol Hines
: You're weapon X. We know why you're here. Dr. Abraham Cornelius
: We always had doubts about weapon X's work... Wolverine
: Doubts? You're all heart.
: [Entering Weapon X
] Ey, Chuck. I'm in. Professor Charles Xavier
: Excellent news. Wolverine
: Yeah, but hold on the fireworks. Security here is tighter then one of Jean's costumes.
: You're a dead man. Wolverine
: Can a dead man kill?
: You know, there are not a lot of airlines that will let the passengers sit up front Mr. Logan. Wolverine
: I don't see much choice darling, the cargo bay being full o' beer and this being the only seat.
: [on the Silver Samurai
] Somehow I DON'T think he's local.
: Who's Evel Knievel? Kisara
: He is my brother, Soichi. He... has a wild spirit. Wolverine
: My condolences.
[all the villagers stare at Logan
: What, did I step on a duck?
: I got a lotta memories. So what if a few of 'em ain't real?
Professor Charles Xavier
: What do you say, Alison Crestmere? Would you consider joining our team? Magma
: Yes! Yes! I'd love to! Do I get a cool code name? Wolverine
: How about "Pebbles"? Storm
: Oh, hush, Logan.
: [entering the Human/Sentinel Hybrid labs
] There's just no limit on how far they're willing to take this. Their hatred of mutants is hurting them as much as us.
: Freeze, mutie! Wolverine
: Hey bub, you shoulda called in sick today!
: Wolverine, how'd you learn to fight so good? Wolverine
: Simple. I'm the best at what I do.
: [tangled up in elastic straps
] Wolverine, I am having much difficulty wearing these suspenders! Wolverine
: Maybe it's 'cause that takes pants... Silver Surfer
: Pants! That is it!
[begins panting heavily like a dog
] Silver Surfer
: I feel them working already!
: 'Preciate the reassignment, Cap. Captain America
: Oh, think nothing of it, Wolverine. You're doing me a favor. There's been an international incident, and my team could use you. Wolverine
: Really? Who we bringin' the hurt to? Captain America
: The South American rainforests. Wolverine
: Uh, but... don't they usually need saving? Captain America
: Uh, usually, but these trees attack everything in their path. I'm assembling the All Captains Squad to get to the ROOTS of the problem. Wolverine
: Uh, hate to tell you, Captain, but I ain't no captain. Captain America
: Well you are now. Welcome to the squad, Captain Canada! Here's your new uniform. Suit up. We'll talk at HQ. Wolverine
: [chuckles at campy uniform
] Uh, not gonna happen, Bub. Captain America
: Right-e-o. I'll get you back to that helicarrier, A-S-A-P. Wolverine
: Uh, wait... no, no, no, that's fine.
: [walking in new Captain Canada costume and adjusting briefs
] Ugh, blasted flag pajamas ride right up!
: [Wolverine/Captain Canada cuts a cord down to make himself a swing to sit on
] Ach! Destruction of SHIELD property! That is against regulation PH330. It is italicized! Wolverine
] You're forgetting rule #1, Bub - I don't care. Captain Australia
: [pushes money jar across table
] Right then. Cough up a buck, mate. Captain Brazil
: [Wolverine growls and ejects claws
] Don't be upset, Captain Canada. It's the no-arguing-between-Captains jar. Every time someone fights, they pay a dollar. Wolverine
] Somethin' tells me I better put in a twenty.
[destroys a Sentinel in 15 seconds
: Used to take those tin-cans out in half the time. Must be getting rusty.
: Save some egg-sucking bigshot and suddenly everybody loves each other? Yeah, right. Wolverine
: You got any better ideas, we're listening!
: [sees a video of his future self
] At least I don't lose my hair...
: Which one of us is the assassin? Bishop
: I don't remember. It could be any of you. Cyclops
: It couldn't be Jean! Jean Grey
: Of course it could. I've had my dark days or have you forgotten?
: The kid stays here. She'll just get in the way. Kitty Pryde
: I will not! And stop calling me a kid! I am 14 years old!
: Rrrawww! Get with it! The X-men don't have room for whiny brats! Kitty Pryde
: Who are you calling whiny? I'll show you! I'll... Dazzler
: Hold it, Kitty! Wolverine may not be Mr. Sunshine, but he isn't the enemy.
: Well, Wolverine, you were against Kitty being a member of the team. What do you think, now? Wolverine (Logan)
: Rrrawww, so the kid got lucky. That don't make her an X-Man.
[under his breath
] Wolverine (Logan)
: Not yet.
: [after beating opponent
] I tried to be nice.
: Come on. Come and get some!
: You've just made the biggest mistake of your life, bub!
: Little man thinks he can fight Hulk? HULK IS STRONGEST THERE IS! Wolverine
: [Seeing the Wendigo sneaking up behind Hulk
] Hulk! Hulk, behind... The Hulk
: HULK NOT A BEHIND!
: HULK -
[Wolverine places a grenade in Hulk's mouth which immediately explodes
] The Hulk
: Hulk sma...
: Hulk smash, yeah, I know. I heard you the last time.
: Oh, you've got to be kidding me, Fury. Mystical curse, my... The Hulk
: [Hulk grabs Wolverine
] Stupid man hunt Hulk? Attack Hulk? HULK SMASH STUPID MAN! Wolverine
: Yeah, about that. Sorry, my fault. Won't happen again. The Hulk
] Good. Little man not so stupid after all.
: I knew I smelled something rotten. Wolverine
: That's probably your breath.
: It will take more than that to kill me.
[Wolverine cuts off a chandelier and it lands on Deathstrike
: Try that on for size, darlin'.
: How'd you find me? Wolverine
: Maybe if you bathe once in a while, I wouldn't be able to track you so easily.
: I'm the best at what I do.
: Wolverine, when will you learn that you can't solve problems with your fists? Wolverine
: Don't know Rouge. This far I haven't met a problem I could'nt solve with my fist.
: [Upon defeating an enemy
] Look at you. All busted up.
: [finishes off soldier
] Bub, you're a mess!
[after combining their powers for a Fusion
: That... hurt. Iron Man
: But it worked. No pain, no gain, my boy. Wolverine
: I ain't your boy, Stark.
: Senator Lieber from New York State. Good to meet you. You've done us a great service. You heroes are OK in my book. Maybe we should put this registration business on hold. Wolverine
: No kidding, bub. You can't expect the X-Men to reveal their names to the... Senator Lieber
: Say no more, Canucklehead. Not everyone fears and hates mutants. Well, best of luck trying to catch that maniac. Like our state motto says, "Excelsior!" Deadpool
: Don't I know you from somewhere? Senator Lieber
: You don't look like the voting type. Deadpool
: Yeah, whatever. Hey guys, I'll take these pencil-pushers back to the Capitol. Give me a call if you want to hang out again.
: Oh, no, my sideburns have a mind of their own! That's what ya get for going for the Asimov Look.
: [to Nightmare
] We don't make bargains with lowlife like... Iron Man
] Quiet, Wolverine, I'm bargaining. We'll sign you up for the Cheese of the Month Club for an entire year. Thor
[whips out a plate of cheese
: You won't know good until you've savored their Gouda. Or perhaps Emmentaler?
: So what's it gonna be, Thanos? You either drop the Hulk offa the Dream Team permanently... Wolverine
: Or we spend a couple of eons playing Sugar World. Thor
: What, ho, let roll the snicker-doodle dice of your nightmares now! Thanos
: Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatev. You may win today, but some d...
[Nightmare snaps his finger and Thanos disappears
: Bad guy. Always with the talking.
: Let's see those karate moves, kid. Ryu
: Interesting... you fight like a wild animal!
: Sorry Erik, you just ain't gonna win this. Magneto
: How foolish for a man with metal bones to stand against me.
: Hulk break your claws this time, little man. Wolverine
: This time we ain't endin' in a draw!
: So what do you think of the new duds? Wolverine
: This some kinda damn Super Hero fashion show? 'Cause I got some orange and brown tights that put you to shame.
: [talking about the black suit
] So, you don't like the new me? Wolverine
: First off, ya smell like death. Second, you like like one of those emo kiddies they got all over the internet, jabbering on about how hard their life is when they've never known true pain. Spider-Man
: Oh my, God. You have a MyFace page. Don't you? DORK! Wolverine
: I do not! Spider-Man
: Hah! You totally do! Wolverine
: Shut up, kid! Spider-Man
: Will you add me as a friend? I'll poke you and you poke me back! Wolverine
: I SAID SHUT UP!
: This city is really starting to stink! Spider-Man
: In the middle of all this you're complaining about odors? Wolverine
: I'm talking about how many of these freaks I'm smelling
: Xavier's the one whose close to Lilandra, they use to be good friends... *really good* friends
[chuckles and nudges an elbow towards Spider-Man
: if you catch my meaning...
: [to Spider-Man, Captain America and Thor
] What are you girls looking at?
: Thor, take care of those gunships. Spider-Man, drive them towards the stern. Spider-Man
: Sure thing. I just love being the target. Captain America
: Wolverine... Wolverine
: Stow it boy scout, I don't take orders from you.
: Something tells me the Professor wants me to find him while he's still breathing...
: Let him go! Wolverine
: Jubilee... don't... Juggernaut
] What's she gonna do, hit me with her diaper?
: [trying to contact Professor X
] There's STILL no answer. That's odd. Wolverine
: [picks his teeth with a claw
] Maybe the Prof's takin' a snooze. Think you can land this tub by yourself?
[Gambit suspected to assassinate someone in Washington just escaped Wolverine and Bishop
: No wonder you sent me back to change the future, because everything that happens is your fault !
[Wolverine doesn't want to believe Bishop came from the future
: I still don't believe it.
: I should have known better than to play poker with an assassin. Gambit
: Shut up, fool!
[he throws a card, it explodes harmlessly against Bishop's chest
: I can absorb your bio-energy, and channel it right back.
[fires energy blasts from his hands at Gambit, who ducks
: That's *my* mutant power. Wolverine
: [pops claws
] How would you like to try absorbing *these*?
: [after rescuing a child from debris
] This kid's cryin'. Do somethin'.
[hands girl to Jubilee
: That Dark Surfer is gonna be right in a wave of butt-woopin' when I see him again!
: Huh? A red dinosaur? Didn't you're giant lizard momma tell ya about sunblock, dino-bub?
: I am the High Evolutionary. Greetings to you, O short, stout and unusually hairy lifeform. Wolverine
: Eh, I've been called worse.
: [opens a door and sees the Inner Circle guards in their 18th century clothing
] Where do these guys do their shopping?
: [cuts through two guards' staves,then throws them down the staircase
] Here,go play "pick up sticks"!
[the heroes are beating at Galactus' foot
: Purple man strong. Wolverine
: But? Hulk
: But Hulk... Uh, Hulk don't know what. Purple man just really strong. Wolverine
: Really, Hulk? For a guy with such a limited vocabulary, letting one of your two-catch phrases slip by just seem wrong. Hulk
: Hulk don't understand.
: Wait, Reptil's powers come from a fosyl fractal? Mister Fantastic
: More like a fractal fosyl. Reptil
: Oh, so that's why I'm fractal proof. I already have one. Iron Man
] Iron Man
: Your fractal proof? Wolverine
: Agh! I knew there was something I wanted to tell ya, Tony. Iron Man
: Big help.
: You're pretty fast... but a bit outdated. Wolverine
[Cable dumps water on his face
: What're you trying to do, drown me?
: Hey, Falcon. Wolverine
: You get the Helicarrier back in one piece? Wolverine
: Yes... with an asterisk.
] What ever you say, Thunderbub.
[Predator removes his helmet, revealing what he really looks like
: I thought Beast was ugly.
: I need a beer.
[Wolverine approaches Cyclops at his wedding reception
: If you ever hurt her, don't let me find out...
: I smell somethin' sinister...
: As you can see, I live, breathe, and dream Super Heroes. Wolverine
: Okay, now I'm scared. Falcon
: You got Ant-Man on your wall and not me? The Texas Twister? Now I'm just hurt.
: So tired I could eat a horse. Wait, that would be hungry, wouldn't it?
: You called Zabu Sabretooth. What is sabretooth? Wolverine
: I'm guessing the irony escapes you. Ka-Zar
: Nothing escapes Ka-Zar.
: Just 'cause I can heal don't mean it don't hurt!
: Wolverine, cut a perimeter around Tricephalus! Wolverine
: With pleasure. I love ice snikting.
: My old friends. I don't know whether to destroy you separately or all at once. So I'm going to do both.
[replicates himself into separate Soul Stone versions
] Dark Surfer
: This is going to make the Big Bang look like a burp! Iron Man
: Come on, Squaddies. You know what to do. Uh, can I say it now? Hulk
, Scarlet Witch
: Say it! Iron Man
: All right, Super Hero Squad, to save the entire universe, it's time to Hero Up!
: Who DARES oppose the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse? Wolverine
: The X-Men do, bub!
: Careful with the civilians! Wolverine
: Sure, Cyke. I'll try not to bruise them while I save their lives!
: Every time I make shish kebab, there's an emergency!
: Hmmm. Somethings not right here. Wanda
: Hm. Could it be your nose sniffing my face?
: [fighting Venom
] I'm the best at what I do, and what I do ain't pretty at all. See these claws? Unbreakable. You? Bet not.
[after Venom trashes the bar, Wolverine walks in
: Nice mess. Venom
: Hunger! Feed! Wolverine
: [pops out his claws
] You don't say.
: [inside Graymalkin
] Whoa! Good thing they don't serve lunch on this flight!
: I want to go with you! Professor Charles Xavier
: There's no room on this mission for vengeance. Wolverine
: I dunno... Revenge can sure help ya focus!
: Before you say anything, Deadpool... Shut up!
: I guess there is somethin' that can stop the Juggernaut, eh? Me!
: Hmm, I could arrange for you to be bitten by a werewolf. If you survive, you'd have wolf powers once a month, and free rabies shots. Mayor of Super Hero City
: Thanks, but no thanks, doc. But I seem to remember there was a guy who got incredible powers from being bitten by a radioactive bug. Wolverine
: Oh, come on. You made that up.
: [to Egghead
] Your bulbous brain is scrambled, Eggie.
: Whoa. That is one big, ugly, ominous bubble, bub.
: So how is it that you are so much better at this than me? Hulk
: Babies like grown-ups. Only smaller... and dumber.
: What's Mystique doing here? Rogue
: She's Nightcrawler's mother... and Creed's mother, too! Jubilee
: Boy, talk about your soap operas!
[Logan, dressed up as Beast, scares children witless
: Oh, nice. Beast won't appreciate your using his face to give them nightmares. Wolverine
: Isn't that what Halloween's all about? Jubilee
: Noooo, it's about getting people to give you lots of candy and then trying to eat it all in one night!
: Wolverine? I thought you went with the others. Wolverine
: Oh right, to an amusement park? Uhuh . I don't do amusement. I was just in here grooming my sideburns and straightening my back hair until you came in.
: Error. Flagship should have exploded. Unless they use the metric system.
[the ship explodes
: Yes! Even in the Negative Zone they use the metric system. Really, it's the only sensible system of...
[the others ignore him and walk away
: You guys, don't think this is over. Centimeter by centimeter, some day you'll all be just like Canada and use the metric system. Mark my words!
: Cyclops, that mob is attacking Bishop! Wolverine
: Bishop? What's that time jockey doing back?
: I'm the best there is at what I do, and what I do... isn't volleyball.
: Lady, I'm standin' in a pool of funk that would impress George Clinton.
: In the beginning the Sentinels were just targeting Mutant's. Then they began to target everyone. I've come a long way to bring us together. The X-Men. We need your help.
: So what are we up against with this Iceman? Professor X
: We're not against him, Wolverine. Wolverine
: So then we're with him? Professor X
: Of course not; he's destroying federal property! Wolverine
: Boy, I'm glad we cleared that up.
: [seeing herself on a news broadcast
] 'Normal'? Look at me! I look fat! Do I look that fat to you? Wolverine
: Shhh! Pipe down, would ya? We're tryin' to keep a low profile. Rogue
: Well, I am definitely not buyin' these cupcakes.
: I need your advice. Wolverine
: First time for everything.
: Don't call me Wolvie!
: Wolverine is cooking for the prisoners tonight. Wolverine
: Kebab, bub?
: Let's kick that Thanos right in his heinous... butt.
: Revenge is a dish best served cold!
[surprises Wolverine from behind by hitting him with a huge thrown chunk of ice
: Sabretooth! I knew it. Sabretooth
: You've lost it, pal. Ten years ago I never could have gotten this close. Wolverine
: I can still handle punks like you! Sabretooth
[they begin a no-holds-barred claw fight
: [Unsheathes claws
] Someone call for a surgeon?
: [pops his claws
] Does it look I change diapers with these?
: Gambit can't help but notice you saved him chère and not Wolverine, must be my way with women. Rogue
: Don't flatter yourself swamp boy.
[Rogue drops Gambit in a pond
: Little piece of advice cajun, never make that woman mad atcha.
: Ah. Oh, man. I've got a headache the size of M.O.D.O.K.'s head.
: [blows whistle
] Foul! Time out! This is unsanctioned competition. It's non-league play and beneath my notice. Wolverine
: Blow it out your whistle, bub.
[Wolverine pulls him into the fight
: At least we got the Hulk's strength factor back up to off the charts. I hate to room with a giant rampaging goon who's only kinda strong. Wolverine
: You got that right, Iron Bub.
: We are sick and tired of being cooped up in here. We've had an election, and now demand recognition of our mini-society of Wolverines. Iron Man
: Quit cloning around, guys. Let's not do anything hasty.
: My mother always wanted me to be a surgeon.
: These readings show M.O.D.O.K. is now more powerful than Doom. Falcon
: That fractal stone has really gone to his head. Get it? You see, it's lodged in his forehead. It's right in the middle there, between the eyebrow and his... Wolverine
: He's nothing but a head. Where else would it get stuck? Thor
: Oh, M.O.D.O.K., lord of the villains? Odin's doughnuts, it can not be. Iron Man
: Yeah, it can. Fortunately, I'm working on the S.A.P.S.S. S.A.P.S.S., the Stark Anti-Power Sucking System. That'll give us some protection. Falcon
: Uh, well, even so, that hyper head is already in the Hulk's class. Hulk
: Ugh, Hulk not in Hulk's class. Hulk
: [pokes his chest
] Ow. Hulk got strong.
: What were you doing over there? Deadpool
: Just a little surprise for our player. Wolverine
: What? Whatever. We gotta move. We need everybody on this one if we're gonna stop Sinister. That means you, too. Deadpool
: Yeah, duh. It's *my* game! Wolverine
: Game? This is serious! Quit scratching your ass, bub, and get into the fight! Deadpool
: Ha ha, he said, "assbub."
: Are you guys crying? Pyro
: I'm not! Paste Pot Pete
: I am, and so is Zzzax. Iron Man
: There's no crying in super villain land! Wolverine
: Team Toxic, my tuchus. More like Losers Legion. Paste Pot Pete
: Well, we may be losers, but we're sore losers!
[sets off self-destruct on Super Spinner
: Oh, smooth move, glue for brains. You just melted the polar ice cap. Paste Pot Pete
: Uh, is that good? Wolverine
: See for your self.
[turns around and sees tidal wave
: Gotta be a trap. Wolverine
: You think? Iron Man
: Okay, okay, so it's a trap. We still have to rescue Ms Marvel. And I can't remember the last mission that came with a free foot rub. Oh wait, yes I do. Hah, that Iron Fist sure knows his feet.
: The Danger Room is also the cafeteria. And the Gym. And the glee-club practice room. Reptil
: Oh, well that explains the dorky smell.
[after a failed psychic attack from Mesmero
: Xavier's mental blocks just saved our lives! Sabretooth
: Especially yours. Mesmero was telling me to push you off the mountain. Problem is... I'm still tempted. Gambit
: Do me a favor... Why don't you BOTH jump off the mountain?
: That's some fancy shootin', Cable. REALLY brought the house down.
: Your choice, bub. Sliced, diced, or julienned? Dark Surfer
: Actually, I ordered the soup. Soul stone!
[hits Wolverine with a beam of light
: I'm all touchy-feely! Filled with rainbows and unicorns. Crying at commercials. Dark Surfer
: Does somebody need a hug? Wolverine
: Being touchy-feely makes me angry!
: Let me tell you a secret, kid. Falcon
: [actually Mystique in disguise
] Secret? Yes, tell me, what's the secret? Wolverine
: Never fall for the pretty super hero.
[snikts one claw
: Super heroes...
[snikts the second
: super villains...
[snikts the third
: and back up dancers. In that order.