Professor Henry Jones, Sr.
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Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)
Professor Henry Jones: You call *this* archaeology?

Principal SS Officer at Castle: [the Nazis burst into the room] Dr. Jones?
Indiana Jones, Professor Henry Jones: Yes?
Principal SS Officer at Castle: I will take zuh book now.
Indiana Jones, Professor Henry Jones: Wuh-what b-book?
Principal SS Officer at Castle: You have zuh diary in your pocket.
Professor Henry Jones: You dolt! You think my son would be that stupid? That he would bring my diary all the way back here?
Professor Henry Jones: You didn't, did you?
[another pause]
Professor Henry Jones: You didn't bring it, did you?
Indiana Jones: Well, uh...
Professor Henry Jones: You *did*!
Indiana Jones: Look, can we discuss this later?
Professor Henry Jones: I should have mailed it to the Marx Brothers!
Indiana Jones: Will you take it easy?
Professor Henry Jones: Take it easy? Why do you think I sent it home in the first place? So it wouldn't fall into their hands!
Indiana Jones: I came here to SAVE you!
Professor Henry Jones: Oh, yeah? And who's gonna come to save you, JUNIOR?
Indiana Jones: [shouts] I told you...
[grabs a gun and shoots all soldiers dead]
Indiana Jones: DON'T call me Junior!
Professor Henry Jones: Look what you did! I can't believe what you did!

Professor Henry Jones: Junior?
Indiana Jones: Yes, sir.
Professor Henry Jones: It *is* you, Junior.
Indiana Jones: Don't call me that. *Please*.

Professor Henry Jones: The quest for the grail is not archeology, it's a race against evil. If it is captured by the Nazis the armies of darkness will march all over the face of the earth. Do you understand me?
Indiana Jones: This is an obsession, Dad. I've never understood it. Never. Neither did Mom.
Professor Henry Jones: Oh yes she did. Only too well. Unfortunately, she kept her illness from me. All I could do was mourn her.

Elsa: [to Indy] I'll never forget how vonderful it vas.
Professor Henry Jones: Why thank you. It was rather wonderful.
Elsa: [kisses Indy] Zat's how Austrians say goodbye.
Colonel Vogel: Und zis is how ve zay goodbye in Germany, Dr. Jones.
[punches Indy with the head of his cane; Indy's head smacks into Henry's behind him]
Indiana Jones: I liked the Austrian way better.
Professor Henry Jones: So did I.

Professor Henry Jones: Those people are trying to kill us!
Indiana Jones: [shouts] I know, Dad!
Professor Henry Jones: This is a new experience for me.
Indiana Jones: It happens to me all the time.

[after commandeering a plane]
Professor Henry Jones: I didn't know you could fly a plane.
Indiana Jones: Fly, yes. Land, no.

[Nazi Colonel Vogel is torturing Henry to get answers]
Colonel Vogel: Tell me about this miserable little diary of yours. The book is useless and yet you come all the way back to Berlin to get it. Why?
[he slaps Henry in the face with his glove]
Colonel Vogel: Why?
[he slaps him again]
Colonel Vogel: What are you hiding?
[he slaps him again]
Colonel Vogel: What does the diary tell you that it doesn't tell us?
[he tries to slap him again; Henry grabs his wrist, stopping him]
Professor Henry Jones: [through his teeth] It tells me, that goose-stepping morons like yourself should try *reading* books instead of *burning* them!

[talking about how they both slept with the same woman]
Indiana Jones: It's disgraceful, you're old enough to be her... her grandfather.
Professor Henry Jones: Well, I'm as human as the next man.
Indiana Jones: Dad, I *was* the next man.
Professor Henry Jones: Oh... ships that pass in the night.

Professor Henry Jones: I'm sorry about your head though. But I thought that you were one of them.
Indiana Jones: Dad, they come in through the doors.
Professor Henry Jones: Ha, good point.

Professor Henry Jones: Elsa never really believed in the grail. She thought she'd found a prize.
Indiana Jones: And what did you find, Dad?
Professor Henry Jones: Me? Illumination.

[to Indiana, while watching a Nazi parade and book burning]
Professor Henry Jones: My son, we're pilgrims in an unholy land.

[last lines]
Marcus Brody: Indy, Henry, follow me. I know the way. Ha!
[Marcus' horse rides off with him barely hanging onto it]
Professor Henry Jones: Got lost in his own museum, eh?
Indiana Jones: Uh-huh.
Professor Henry Jones: After you, Junior.
Indiana Jones: Yes, sir. Ha!

[Indiana and Henry are tied up]
Indiana Jones: Come on, dad. Help me get us out of here. We have to get to Marcus before the Nazis do.
Professor Henry Jones: But you said he had a two day head start. That he would blend in, disappear.
Indiana Jones: Are you kidding? I made all that up. You know Marcus. He once got lost in his own museum.

Professor Henry Jones: [Examining the broken vase] Late 14th Ming Dynasty. Oh it breaks the heart.
Indiana Jones: And the head. You hit me dad.
Professor Henry Jones: I'll never forgive myself.
Indiana Jones: Don't worry I'm all right.
Professor Henry Jones: Thank God... it's fake. See you can tell with the cross sections.

Elsa: It's perfectly obvious where the pages are. He's given them to Marcus Brody.
Professor Henry Jones: Marcus? You didn't drag poor Marcus along did you? He's not up to the challenge.
Walter Donovan: He sticks out like a sore thumb. We'll find him.
Indiana Jones: The hell you will. He's got a two day head start on you, which is more than he needs. Brody's got friends in every town and village from here to the Sudan, he speaks a dozen languages, knows every local custom, he'll blend in, disappear, you'll never see him again. With any luck, he's got the grail already.
[Cut to middle of fair in the Middle East, Marcus Brody wearing bright suit and white hat, sticking out like sore thumb]
Marcus Brody: Uhhh, does anyone here speak English?

Indiana Jones: It was just the two of us, dad. It was a lonely way to grow up. For you, too. If you had been an ordinary, average father like the other guys' dads, you'd have understood that.
Professor Henry Jones: Actually, I was a wonderful father.
Indiana Jones: When?
Professor Henry Jones: Did I ever tell you to eat up? Go to bed? Wash your ears? Do your homework? No. I respected your privacy and I taught you self- reliance.
Indiana Jones: What you taught me was that I was less important to you than people who had been dead for five hundred years in another country. And I learned it so well that we've hardly spoken for twenty years.
Professor Henry Jones: You left just when you were becoming interesting.

Professor Henry Jones: I suddenly remembered my Charlemagne. Let my armies be the rocks and the trees and the birds in the sky...

Professor Henry Jones: Marcus.
Marcus Brody: Aah.
Professor Henry Jones: Genius of the res-to-ration.
[Brody finishes the handshake]
Marcus Brody: Aid our own re-sus-ci-tation. Henry, what are you doing here?
Professor Henry Jones: It's a rescue. Come on.
[the Nazis catch both Marcus and Henry]

Professor Henry Jones: You say this has been just another typical day for you huh?
Indiana Jones: NO. It's been better than most.

Indiana Jones: [of Indy's new lover] How did you know she was a Nazi?
Professor Henry Jones: She talks in her sleep.

[Vogel is holding Elsa hostage at gunpoint]
Colonel Vogel: Throw down the gun or the girl will die.
Professor Henry Jones: But she's one of them.
Elsa: Indy, please!
Professor Henry Jones: She's a Nazi.
Indiana Jones: What?
Professor Henry Jones: Trust me.
Elsa: Indy, help!
Colonel Vogel: I will kill her!
Professor Henry Jones: Oh yeah? Go ahead.
Indiana Jones: No! Don't shoot!
Professor Henry Jones: Don't worry. He won't.
Elsa: Indy, please do what he says!
Professor Henry Jones: And don't listen to her.
Colonel Vogel: Enough! She dies!
Indiana Jones: Wait! Wait.
[Indy tosses over the gun. Vogel lets Elsa go and she runs right into Indy's arms]
Elsa: I'm sorry.
Indiana Jones: Don't be.
[Elsa takes the grail diary from Indy's pocket, smiles, then hands it to Vogel]
Elsa: But you should have listened to your father.

Professor Henry Jones: The Word of God.
Marcus Brody: No, Henry. Try not to talk.
Professor Henry Jones: The Name of God.
Indiana Jones: The Name of God... Jehovah.
Professor Henry Jones: But in the Latin alphabet, "Jehovah" begins with an "I".
Indiana Jones: J-...
[he steps on the "J" and almost falls to his death; he scrambles back up]
Indiana Jones: Oh, *idiot*! In Latin Jehovah begins with an "I"!

[Indy has untied a boat as a diversion for the Nazis]
Indiana Jones: Come on, Dad! Come on!
Professor Henry Jones: What about the boat? We're not going on the boat?

Professor Henry Jones: [to Indy] Well, I didn't trust her. Why did you?
Walter Donovan: Because he didn't take my advice. Didn't I tell you not to trust anyone, Dr. Jones?

Professor Henry Jones: Stop. You're going the wrong way. We need to get to Berlin.
Indiana Jones: Brody's this way.
Professor Henry Jones: My diary's in Berlin.
Indiana Jones: We don't need the diary, Dad. Marcus has the map.
Professor Henry Jones: There is more in the diary than just the map.

Indiana Jones: Half the German army's on our tail and you want me to go to Berlin? Into the lion's den?
Professor Henry Jones: Yes. The only thing that matters is the Grail.
Indiana Jones: What about Marcus?
Professor Henry Jones: Marcus would agree with me!

Indiana Jones: Jesus Christ...
Professor Henry Jones: [slaps him] That's for blasphemy.

Professor Henry Jones: I misjudged you, Walter. I knew you would sell your mother for an Etruscan vase. But I didn't know you would sell out your country and your soul... to the slime of humanity.

[Indiana Jones and Professor Jones Sr. are trapped between a room on fire and a room full of Nazis]
Professor Henry Jones: Our situation has not improved.

Professor Henry Jones: [after hearing that Indy read the tablet] If only I could have been there with you.
Indiana Jones: There were rats, Dad.
Professor Henry Jones: [Startled] Rats?

[Indy and his father have boarded the airship]
Indiana Jones: Well, we made it!
Professor Henry Jones: [looking out from behind his newspaper] When we are airborne, with Germany behind us, *then* I will share that sentiment!

[Indy and his father have stolen a plane from the airship, and are now being chased by German fighters]
Indiana Jones: Dad, you're going to have to use the machine gun. Get it ready!
[Henry turns around and gets the gun ready]
Indiana Jones: [spotting an approaching fighter] 11 o'clock! Dad, 11 o'clock!
Professor Henry Jones: [looking at his watch] What happens at 11 o'clock?

Professor Henry Jones: I find, that if I just sit down to think...
[sits in chair, which tilts backward and opens up a hidden staircase]
Indiana Jones: [falling down hidden staircase] Daaaaad!
Professor Henry Jones: [resetting chair legs] The solution presents itself!

Professor Henry Jones: [accidentally shoots their own plane with the machine gun]
Indiana Jones: Dad, are we hit?
Professor Henry Jones: More or less. Son, I'm sorry. They got us.

Indiana Jones: [as the room is burning] Dad!
Professor Henry Jones: What?
Indiana Jones: Dad!
Professor Henry Jones: What?
Indiana Jones: DAD!
Professor Henry Jones: WHAT?
Indiana Jones: Dad, head for the fireplace!

[repeated line]
Professor Henry Jones: This is intolerable!

[Indiana slips and nearly falls into the abyss, but Henry grabs his hand]
Professor Henry Jones: Junior, give me your other hand! I can't hold on!
Indiana Jones: [reaching for the Grail] I can get it. I can almost reach it, Dad...
Professor Henry Jones: Indiana.
[surprised, Indy looks up at his father]
Professor Henry Jones: Indiana... let it go.

Sallah: Please, what does it always mean, this... this "Junior"?
Professor Henry Jones: That's his name.
[points to himself]
Professor Henry Jones: Henry Jones...
[points to Indy]
Professor Henry Jones: ...Junior.
Indiana Jones: I like "Indiana."
Professor Henry Jones: We named the *dog* Indiana.
Marcus Brody: May we go home now, please?
Sallah: The dog?
[starts laughing]
Sallah: You are named after the dog? HA HA HA...!
Indiana Jones: I've got a lot of fond memories of that dog.

Professor Henry Jones: And in this sort of race, there's no silver medal for finishing second.

Indiana Jones: [Being tied up together] We gotta get free, dad. We've gotts get to Marcus before the Nazis do.
Professor Henry Jones: I thought that Marcus had a 2 day head start, and would vanish, disappear.
Indiana Jones: No. I made that up. C'mon dad, you know Marcus he got lost in one of his own museums one time. Dad, can you reach into my left pocket?
Professor Henry Jones: What will I find?
Indiana Jones: [Sarcastically] A lucky charm.
Professor Henry Jones: [Reaches into Indy's left jacket pocket] Feels like a cigarette lighter.
Indiana Jones: Use it to burn the ropes.
[Then Henry lights thew lighter and reaches back and burns himself androps the lighter to the floor, and after blowing on it a few times he starts a fire]
Professor Henry Jones: Son, there's something I have to tell you.
Indiana Jones: Don't get sentimental now dad, save until we get out.
Professor Henry Jones: The floor is in fire, and the chair.

Professor Henry Jones: [after escaping from the Nazis, and coming onto a road sign] Stop, wait, stop! Stop! You're going the wrong way. We have to get to Berlin.
Indiana Jones: [Points to the sign] Brody's *this* way.
Professor Henry Jones: My diary's in Berlin.
Indiana Jones: [cross] We don't need the diary, dad; Marcus has the map.
Professor Henry Jones: There is more in the diary than *just the map*.
Indiana Jones: [stops the motorcycle, annoyed] All right, Dad. Tell me.
Professor Henry Jones: Well, he who finds the Grail must face the final challenge.
Indiana Jones: What final challenge?
Professor Henry Jones: Three devices of such lethal cunning.
Indiana Jones: Booby traps?
Professor Henry Jones: Oh, yes. But I found the clues that will safely take us through them in the Chronicles of St. Anselm.
Indiana Jones: [pleased] Well, what are they?
Indiana Jones: Can't you remember?
Professor Henry Jones: I wrote them down in my diary so that I wouldn't *have* to remember.
Indiana Jones: [angry] Half the German Army's on our tail and you want me to go to Berlin? Into the lion's den?
Professor Henry Jones: Yes! The only thing that matters is the Grail.
Indiana Jones: What about Marcus?
Professor Henry Jones: Marcus would agree with me!
Indiana Jones: [quietly] Two selfless martyrs; Jesus Christ.
Professor Henry Jones: [slaps Indy, angrily] That was for blasphemy! The quest for the Grail is not archaeology; it's a race against evil! If it is captured by the Nazis, the armies of darkness will march all over the face of the Earth! Do you understand me?
Indiana Jones: [Still annoyed] This is an obsession, dad. I *never* understood it. Never. Neither did mom.
Professor Henry Jones: Oh, yes she did. Just all too well. But, she kept her illness from me. All I could do was mourn her.

Indiana Jones: [Looking through his binoculars and seeing a tank] 12 pound gun.
Professor Henry Jones: What are you doing? Get down.
Indiana Jones: Dad, we're well out of range.
[the tanks fires on them]

Indiana Jones: I can remeber the last time we had a drink together. I had a milkshake. but, we didn't talk, we've never talked. Only if you were a regular dad just like the other boy's dad, this would be different.
Professor Henry Jones: I was a wonderful father.
Indiana Jones: Yeah, how?
Professor Henry Jones: Did I ever tell you to eat up, go to bed, wash your ears, do your homework? No, I respected your privacy and I taught you self reliance.
Indiana Jones: What you taught me, is that I was less important to you than people that have been dead for several hundered years and in other countries, and I learned it so well, that we've hardly spoken for 20 years.
Professor Henry Jones: You left, just as you were becoming interesting.
[Closes his diary]
Professor Henry Jones: Okay, I 'm here what you wanna talk about?
Indiana Jones: [At a lost for words] I... I don't know.
Professor Henry Jones: Then, what are you complaining about? Now, he who finds the Grail must face 3 challenges. First, is the path of God: Only the penitent man shall pass. Second, is the word of God: Only in the footsteps of God, shall he proceed. Last is the breath of God: Only in a leap from the lion's head shall he prove his worth.

Professor Henry Jones: Nice landing.
Indiana Jones: Thank you.

Indiana Jones: [Indy bursts through the window into his father's room. He's hit on the head with a vase]
Professor Henry Jones: Junior!
Indiana Jones: [reflexively] Yes, sir!
Professor Henry Jones: It IS you, Junior!
Indiana Jones: Don't call me that, please!

[Indiana Jones walks over after climbing up from the cliff and Professor Henry Jones grabs him in hug]
Professor Henry Jones: I thought I'd lost you boy.
Indiana Jones: I thought you had too Sir.
Professor Henry Jones: [moves back and attempts to compose himself] Well... well done. Come on.
[Professor Henry Jones walks away and Indiana Jones collapses to the ground in exhaustion]
Professor Henry Jones: [looks back and frowns] Why are you sitting there resting when we're so near the end?

Young Indy: [bursts into his father's study] Dad...!
Professor Henry Jones: Out.
Young Indy: I have to show you something!
Professor Henry Jones: It can wait. Count to twenty.
Young Indy: No, Dad, I-!
Professor Henry Jones: Junior!
Young Indy: One, two, three, f...
Professor Henry Jones: In Greek.
Young Indy: [rolls his eyes] Ana, theo, thea...

[Henry Jones has just disarmed a Nazi soldier by squirting ink in his face from his fountain pen]
Marcus Brody: [meaningfully] Henry... the pen.
Professor Henry Jones: What?
Marcus Brody: Don't you see? The *pen* is mightier than the sword!
[Brody smiles goofily yet happily]

Young Henry: What are you gonna do?
Young Indy: I dont know, but i'll think of something!

The Adventures of Young Indiana Jones: Travels with Father (1996) (TV)
Anna Jones: [scolding their son] Henry, we are guests in this house.
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: Guests, Junior. Not rampaging barbarians.

Indiana Jones: Father, I don't think that he understand your ancient Greek.
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: Well he should have understood it.

Indiana Jones: Father, I really doubt if a bus is even gonna come and if it does, there's probably only one a day and, and it's probably already gone!
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: Junior, you are now being cynical.
Indiana Jones: [beneath his breath] Yes sir.
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: See, after skepticism comes cynicism.

Indiana Jones: [Indy and his father are splashing around in a lake] I didn't even know you could swim.
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: There's a lot you don't know about me, Junior.
[splashes water at his son]
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: When I was five years old, I used to go swimming in a loch. Now that was cold!

Indiana Jones: [Indy and his father are splashing around in a lake] Father!
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: What?
Indiana Jones: You know how you said that we should let ourselves be consumed by nature?
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: Yes.
Indiana Jones: Well, nature is consuming our clothes.

Artistotle: Hey, are you interested in politics?
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: No not much.
Artistotle: Ah, then you're an idiot.
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: [brief pause] Thank you, Aristotle.
Artistotle: My pleasure.
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: No, he's right, Junior. Our word 'idiot' comes from a Greek word which means 'one who is not interested in politics'.
Indiana Jones: Yeah, I, I'll remember that.

Indiana Jones: I'm bored.
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: Bored? Bored? We're sitting in one of the most fascinating libraries in this part of the world and you're bored?
Indiana Jones: It's also the only library.
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: I will not have you bored.

Indiana Jones: A ladder is made of wood, right?
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: Yes.
Indiana Jones: This cage is made out of wood.
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: So?
Indiana Jones: Ergo, our cage is a ladder.
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: That's not what I call Aristotlian logic.
Indiana Jones: We need a ladder, father. Let's turn our cage into a ladder.

"The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles: Benares, January 1910 (#2.15)" (1993)
Professor Henry Jones, Sr.: No one makes coffee like you, Louise.
Louise: Aw!
Patron at Diner: She's a legend.

Professor Henry Jones, Sr.: I'll tell you what someone said to me. The most extraordinary person I ever met. I was eleven years old. My father was giving a lecture tour around the world. We went to India. A place more strange and exotic than I had ever seen.
Professor Henry Jones, Sr.: [narrating] Well, we saw everything: the Taj Mahal and all the other palaces. We ended up in Benares, the city on the sacred river Ganges. Benares is the holiest city in India. A place where all the religions in the world come together in harmony. A place of spirits and mystery. We were invited to stay at the Hindu National College.
Professor Henry Jones, Sr.: I was supposed to be studying geometry, but I decided to take a look around.

Professor Henry Jones, Sr.: Miss Seymour is a member of the Royal Society of Literature. And the Royal Victorian order. There are many Oxford students in her debt. Myself included.

"The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles: Young Indiana Jones and the Curse of the Jackal (#1.1)" (1992)
Miss Seymour: I'm sorry, it's impossible. He's far too young. Your son needs a governess. I'm not a governess, I am a teacher.
Professor Henry Jones, Sr.: You're the best there is. That's why he needs you.

Professor Henry Jones, Sr.: [handing his son a book] Use it as a journal, or diary. Write down anything that interests or strikes you.
Henry 'Indiana' Jones Jr.: Thank you, father!

"The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles: British East Africa, September 1909 (#1.3)" (1992)
Professor Henry Jones, Sr.: [greeting his old school chum] Medlicot.
[starts doing silly hand gestures]
Professor Henry Jones, Sr.: The genius of the restoration.
Medlicot: [doing similarly silly gestures] Aides our own resuscitation!

Henry 'Indiana' Jones, Jr.: I'm sorry!
Professor Henry Jones, Sr.: So you should be. You are going straight to bed. And no supper for you, my lad.

"The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles: Vienna, November 1908 (#2.9)" (1993)
Professor Henry Jones, Sr.: [to Indy] You have brought shame on us all. And your country.

"The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles: Peking, March 1910 (#2.14)" (1993)
Professor Henry Jones, Sr.: Anna, I'm still not happy about you going off on this joint by yourself. You know you're not fully recovered.
Anna Jones: Oh nonsense. I was over the fever a week ago. I would have you know that American ladies are renowned for the strength of their constitution.