Dolores Umbridge
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Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007)
Dolores Umbridge: [walks in front of Harry with a straight face] Yes?
Harry Potter: [hesitates and looks at his scarred hand] Nothing.
Dolores Umbridge: [bends down] That's right. Because deep down you know that you deserve to be punished. Don't you Mr. Potter?

Severus Snape: You sent for me, Headmistress?
Dolores Umbridge: Ah, yes. The time has come for answers, whether he wants to give them or not. Have you bought the Veritaserum?
Severus Snape: I'm afraid you have used up all my stores interrogating students, the last of it on Miss Chang. Unless you wish to poison Potter - and I assure you, I would have the greatest sympathy if you did - I cannot help you.

Dolores Umbridge: [to Harry] As I told you, Mr. Potter, naughty children deserve to be punished.

Sybil Trelawney: 16 years I've lived and taught here! Hogwarts is my home! You can't do this!
Dolores Umbridge: Actually, I can.
[McGonagall arrives and tries to comfort Trelawney]
Dolores Umbridge: [to McGonagall] Something you'd like to say, dear?
Minerva McGonagall: Oh, there are several things I would like to say!
Albus Dumbledore: [Dumbledore arrives]
Albus Dumbledore: Professor McGonagall, might I ask you to escort Sybil back inside?
Minerva McGonagall: [to Trelawney] Sybil, dear, this way.
Sybil Trelawney: [shakes Dumbledore's hand] Oh, thank you! Thank you!
Dolores Umbridge: Dumbledore, may I remind you that under the terms of Educational Decree #23, as enacted by the Minister...
Albus Dumbledore: You have the right to dismiss my teachers. You do not, however, have the authority to banish them from the grounds. That power remains with the headmaster.
Dolores Umbridge: For now.

Dolores Umbridge: Wands away. There will be no need to talk.
Hermione Granger: [sotto] No need to think is more like it.

Dolores Umbridge: [holding clipboard and smiling at Trelawney] Could you please predict something for me?
Sybil Trelawney: [stops teaching and looks over at Umbridge with a surprised and unhappy face] I'm sorry?

Dolores Umbridge: [over P.A] Boys and girls are not to be within eight inches of each other.

Dolores Umbridge: [standing with her Inquisitorial squad holding Cho Chang hostage] Take them!

Dolores Umbridge: [yelling at Centaurs] How dare you! You filthy half-breeds!

Dolores Umbridge: [pointing her wand at Centaurs] Incarcerous!

Dolores Umbridge: [after Snape leaves] Very well. You give me no choice, Potter. As this is an issue of Ministry security, you leave me with no alternative. The Cruciatus Curse ought to loosen your tongue.
Hermione Granger: [glaring at Umbridge] That's illegal!
Dolores Umbridge: [putting a picture of Cornelius Fudge on her desk face down] What Cornelius doesn't know won't hurt him.

Dolores Umbridge: [to Harry, Hermione and the Centaurs] I WILL have order!

Dolores Umbridge: [pointing her wand at Harry, Ron and Hermione in the Forbidden Forest] For the greater good. I want to do what must be done.

Dolores Umbridge: [in a calm, relaxed voice] You know, I really hate children.

Harry Potter: [to Snape] He's got Padfoot! He's got Padfoot at the place where it's hidden!
Dolores Umbridge: Padfoot? What is Padfoot? And where what's hidden? What is he talking about Snape?
Severus Snape: [pause] No idea.

Dolores Umbridge: Let me make this quite plain. You have been told that a certain Dark Wizard is at large once again. This is a lie.
Harry Potter: It's not a lie! I saw him. I fought him.
Dolores Umbridge: [shouting] Detention, Mr. Potter!
Harry Potter: So according to you, Cedric Diggory dropped dead OF HIS OWN ACCORD.
Dolores Umbridge: Cedric Diggory's death was a tragic accident.
Harry Potter: [angrily] It was murder! Voldemort killed him! You must know!
Dolores Umbridge: [shouting] Enough!

Dolores Umbridge: Please, tell them I mean no harm.
Harry Potter: Sorry, Professor, but I must not tell lies.

Dolores Umbridge: [during an inspection] You applied first for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post, is that correct?
Severus Snape: Yes.
Dolores Umbridge: But you were unsuccessful?
Severus Snape: [with annoyance in voice] Obviously.

Dolores Umbridge: [Harry has come in to do his detention] You're going to be doing some lines for me, Mr. Potter.
[Potter opens his bag for his quill but Umbridge stops him]
Dolores Umbridge: No, not with your quill. You're going to be using a rather special one of mine. Now, I want you to write "I must not tell lies."
Harry Potter: How many times?
Dolores Umbridge: Let's see... As long as it takes for the message to sink in.
Harry Potter: You haven't given me any ink.
Dolores Umbridge: Oh, you won't need any ink.

Dolores Umbridge: Pardon me, Professor, but what exactly are you insinuating?
Minerva McGonagall: I am merely requesting that when it comes to my students you conform to the prescribed disciplinary practices.
Dolores Umbridge: So silly of me, but it sounds as if you're questioning my authority in my own classroom, Minerva.
Minerva McGonagall: Not at all, Dolores, merely your medieval methods.
Dolores Umbridge: I am sorry, dear, but to question my practices is to question the Ministry, and by extension, the Minister himself. I am a tolerant woman, but the one thing I will not stand for is disloyalty.
Minerva McGonagall: Disloyalty?
Dolores Umbridge: Things at Hogwarts are far worse than I feared.

Dolores Umbridge: Your previous instruction in this subject has been disturbingly uneven. But you will be pleased to know from now on, you will be following a carefully structured, Ministry-approved course of defensive magic. Yes?
Hermione Granger: There's nothing in here about using defensive spells.
Dolores Umbridge: Using spells? Ha ha! Well I can't imagine why you would need to use spells in my classroom.
Ron Weasley: We're not gonna use magic?
Dolores Umbridge: You will be learning about defensive spells in a secure, risk-free way.
Harry Potter: Well, what use is that? If we're gonna be attacked it won't be risk-free.
Dolores Umbridge: Students will raise their hands when they speak in my class.
[pauses]
Dolores Umbridge: It is the view of the Ministry that a theoretical knowledge will be sufficient to get you through your examinations, which after all, is what school is all about.
Harry Potter: And how is theory supposed to prepare us for what's out there?
Dolores Umbridge: There is nothing out there, dear! Who do you imagine would want to attack children like yourself?
Harry Potter: I don't know, maybe, Lord Voldemort!

Dolores Umbridge: [to the students at the great hall during their first dinner] I hope that we all are going to be good very good friends.
Fred Weasley, George Weasley: [sarcastically] That's bloody likely.

Dolores Umbridge: Predict something.
Sybil Trelawney: Erm. You... are in great danger!
Dolores Umbridge: Lovely!

[Umbridge, Hermione and Harry see a group of centaurs staring at them]
Dolores Umbridge: [backs away] You have no business here, centaur! This is a ministry matter.
[the centaurs ready their bows and arrows]
Dolores Umbridge: Lower your weapons! I warn you: under the law as creatures of near-human intelligence...
[one centaur fires his arrow at her]
Dolores Umbridge: [blocks it with her wand] Protego! How dare you, you filthy half-breed! Incarcerus!
[Umbridge's spell takes a rope and chokes one centaur, making it writhe from the rope's grip, Hermione tries to help him]
Hermione Granger: [gasps] Please! Please, stop it! Please!
Dolores Umbridge: NO, ENOUGH! I will have order!
[Umbridge suddenly screams as Grawp picks her up, all the centaurs yell and approach Grawp]
Dolores Umbridge: [to Grawp] YOU FILTHY ANIMAL! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!
Hermione Granger: [runs to the centaurs] Leave him alone! It's not his fault!
[Harry takes Hermione away from them]
Hermione Granger: No, he doesn't understand!
[the centaurs fires their arrows making Grawp release Umbridge]
Dolores Umbridge: [as the centaurs take her] Potter, do something - tell them I mean no harm!
Harry Potter: [contently] I'm sorry, Professor... but I must not tell lies.
Dolores Umbridge: [gets taken away] What are you doing! I am senior undersecretary Dolores Jane Umbridge! LET... ME... GOOOOOOOOOOO!
[Harry and Hermione look up and Grawp in gratitude]
Hermione Granger: Thank you, Grawp.

Dolores Umbridge: Progress for the sake of progress must be discouraged.

Dolores Umbridge: [from trailer] Things at Hogwarts... are far worse than I feared.

Dolores Umbridge: [from trailer] ENOUGH!

Dolores Umbridge: [from trailer] You have been told... that a certain dark wizard is at large. This... is... a... lie.
Harry Potter: It's not a lie, I saw him!

Dolores Umbridge: [from trailer] You have been told that a certain dark wizard is at large. This... is... a... lie.
Harry Potter: It's not a lie, I saw him!


A Very Potter Sequel (2010) (TV)
Dolores Umbridge: Did you get my text?

Albus Dumbledore: Disapparate!
Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Hermione Granger, Albus Dumbledore, Ron Weasley, Dolores Umbridge, Sirius Black: Ahh! Magic!

Severus Snape: Where did the poster of headmaster Zefron go?
Dolores Umbridge: I don't care for Zefron. Taylor Lautner is my man.
Severus Snape: What do you want, you horrid b*itch?


Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010)
Dolores Umbridge: You are not a witch.