Bunsen Honeydew
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Quotes for
Bunsen Honeydew (Character)
from "The Muppet Show" (1976)

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The Muppet Movie (1979)
Fozzie: Oh, I'm so nervous. If I'm not funny, I won't be able to live with myself.
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: Well, then you'll have to get another apartment, won't you?

Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: Sound is ready. Gimme a level.
Animal: [yelling through microphone] *TES-TIIIING!*
[we see Bunsen's headphones rattle repeatedly]
Animal: Ah-ha-ha-ha.

Floyd Pepper: What in the name of Fats Waller is that?
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: A four foot prune!

Floyd Pepper: [about the Insta-Grow pills] What else do these pills make big?
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: Oh, they'll work on anything, but the effect is, sadly, temporary.
Beaker: Sadly temporary.

"Muppets Tonight: Andie MacDowell (#2.11)" (1998)
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: Science has left me a sad and lonely man.
[there is a knock from the cubboard, Bunsen opens it]
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: oh! Who are you?
The Sad And Lonely Man That Science Has Left Dr. Honeydew: I'm the sad and lonely man that science has left you.
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: I don't get it
The Sad And Lonely Man That Science Has Left Dr. Honeydew: It's a joke, you sad little man.

Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: Kermit, Dr. Dull is out. I've gotten in touch with my inner funk master, and his name is Snoop Doggie Dew.

Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: But Andie, where will you go, what will you do?
Andie: Frankly my Dew I don't give a dear.
[blows him a kiss]

It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie (2002) (TV)
Beaker: Mee mee moo moo mee mee mind.
Dr. Honeydew: Yes, I think you have a beautiful mind too.

Kermit: Can we make enough money?
Dr. Honeydew: Yes... I mean, no... I mean, yes...
[Opens window where Beeker's hand is caught]
Dr. Honeydew: Beaker, do you have my wax pencil? Oh, never mind, here it is.
[Closes window on Beeker's hand again]
Dr. Honeydew: Yes, if we fill 1,900 seats...
Kermit: But that's impossible!
Dr. Honeydew: Or not pay anyone 'til New Year's.
Kermit: Oh, that's not so bad.
Dr. Honeydew: ...of next year.

"Muppet Babies: Who's Afraid of the Big, Bad Dark? (#1.2)" (1984)
Piggy: Why are you falling asleep, Bunsen? It won't be dark for hours.
Bunsen: HOURS? I can't wait hours. I haven't slept in 3 days!
Fozzie: Three days? Why not?
Bunsen: [points to Beaker] Him! The other night Beaker watched a movie called 'The Flying Monster that Attacked in the Dark', and since then he hasn't slept a wink, and neither have I!

Rowlf: There must be something we can do to help the little guy out.
Bunsen: No! I've tried everything! Hypnotism, boring stories, hot soup, nothing worked!

The Great Muppet Caper (1981)
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: I suggest we jump.
Fozzie: Are you crazy? That's at least a hundred feet!
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: I didn't say it was a *good* suggestion.
Beauregard: Maybe we could jump part-way.

Kermit: Now, we're about to embark on a potentially dangerous mission. There could be physical violence, there could be gunplay, and there is the slightest chance that somebody might even get killed. So if anybody wants out, now is the time to say it.
Floyd: I'm out.
Rowlf: Me too.
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: Ditto.
Beaker: Meep meep.
Zoot: Hey, don't we have a gig around here, or something, or somewhere?
Pops: Sorry, I got a dental appointment.
Janice: It's like this, Kermit, I have to go to work all day...
[everyone starts talking at once]
Fozzie: [shouting] Hold it!
[everyone stops talking]
Fozzie: Shame on you! I thought we were in this thing together. I'm just as scared as you are, but this has to be done! We don't want the bad guys to win. We gotta do this f-f-for justice! For freedom! For honesty!

"The Muppet Show: Bernadette Peters (#2.12)" (1977)
[after Beaker's neck has been deflated]
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: Oh, so that's what Bunsonium does.

Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: Now, Beaker, you forgot the beaker. Get the beaker, Beaker.

"The Muppet Show: Gilda Radner (#3.4)" (1978)
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: There. I have just placed on Gilda's forehead a single, teensy, weensy drop of Muppet's new super adhesive. Now we'll wait a moment for it to get tacky.
Statler: What are we waiting for?
Waldorf: For it to get tacky.
Statler: Another first for this show.
Waldorf: How's that?
Statler: It's the first time we've had to wait for it to get tacky.

Muppets Party Cruise (2003) (VG)
Kermit the Frog: Look everybody! The pictures from our cruise are ready. I've made a really cool photo album too.
[Kermit opens the photo book and looks at the pictures]
Pepe the King Prawn: Ah. Adventure on the high seas already.
The Great Gonzo: The food the cannons.
Miss Piggy: Oh, the shopping.
Sam the Eagle: May I interject something?
Kermit the Frog: So many good times. Hey look here's when Animal ran right off the boat to catch his puck.
[Then a close up picture shows Animal right before falling in the water]
Animal: Water!
Fozzie Bear: Now that was funny!
Kermit the Frog: Yeah. Those are the things I'd really like to remember.
Miss Piggy: You mean our moonlit walks on the deck Kermit?
[Kermit quickly turns the pages of the album book]
Kermit the Frog: Uh, Yeah sure sure. Those were nice too Piggy. But I was talking about playing those terrific games. You know just look at that tomato huh.
[Then another close up picture shows Gonzo and Animal as the tomato is thrown]
Miss Piggy: Sigh. It seems like only yesterday.
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: It was only yesterday. But, we can enjoy the memories immediately thanks to Muppet labs instantaneously photo presses.
Animal: Press! Press!
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: Indeed. And coming soon, the Muppet labs pre processor. Imagine being able to getting your photos before you've taken them.
Sam the Eagle: May I interject something?
Kermit the Frog: Remember how excited we were on that first day?
Fozzie Bear: First class, all the way!

"The Muppet Show: Peter Sellers (#2.19)" (1978)
Kermit: [suddenly runs in] Aha! So THAT'S what's been going on around here all night! You've been zapping people in and out of my theatre ...
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: Mr. Kermit, please, I'm in the middle of a scientific demonstration...
Kermit: Yeah, well, I'm in the middle of a nervous breakdown!

"The Muppet Show: Avery Schreiber (#1.16)" (1976)
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: [as a gorilla is destroying the lab behind him] Think of the safety. Think of the sense of well-being. At last, your family can be protected from the heartbreak of gorilla invasion.

Muppet Treasure Island (1996)
Dr. David Livesey: [looking at the treasure map] Say, I know what's happening here. You chaps are planning to sail to this island, aren't you? To dig up this treasure.
Jim Hawkins: Yes, but we must be quiet about it.
Jim Hawkins: There are pirates looking for this map.
Gonzo: [normal voice] Yeah, and they want to KILL us for it! Isn't that exciting?