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Quotes for
Maria Figueroa Rodriguez (Character)
from "Sesame Street" (1969)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
Follow That Bird (1985)
Miss Finch: Come on, Big Bird, you don't want to miss your plane.
Maria: Just a minute. Give me a big hug, Big Bird.
[they embrace]
Maria: Don't forget to write.
Big Bird: I won't, Maria.
Count: Don't forget to count, Big Bird!
Big Bird: Okay, Count.
Bob: And don't forget to dress warmly, okay, Big Bird?
Big Bird: I've got my muffler, Bob.
Grover: Don't forget to breathe! In and out!
Big Bird: I always do, Grover.
[Linda signs something to Big Bird]
Big Bird: I'll read every day.
Cookie Monster: Don't forget to eat, Big Bird!
Big Bird: I won't, Cookie Monster.
[Oscar comes slowly out of his trash can]
Big Bird: Well, goodbye, Oscar.
Oscar the Grouch: [surprised] What? Why, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.

Maria: [reading a letter from Big Bird to Sesame Street] ... So that's my new home. I should be happy here.
Maria: What's wrong with me?
[then, with great surprise]
Maria: Love, Big Dodo?
[everyone begins whispering amongst themselves]
Maria: [finishing the letter] Big Bird to you.

Oscar the Grouch: [driving into a junkyard] This is where I wanna be - grouch paradise! Just look it at. It's like a work of art.
Telly Monster: It is different, Maria.
Maria: Oscar, I want you to turn this car around right now and head for Toadstool!
Oscar the Grouch: Ah, an angry face in a beautiful place - heaven.

Bob: [over phone] He's at some kind of carnival.
Maria: At a carnival?
Olivia: That fun fair!
Linda: [signs something]
Olivia: We passed that hours ago!
Maria: That's what she just said!

"Sesame Street: Little Boy Blue Takes His Horn to Finder's Keepers (#25.19)" (1993)
Frustrated Muppet Man in 'Cerrado' and 'Abierto': I CAN'T DO EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING IS CERRADO!
Maria: I can see that. Everything is closed!
Frustrated Muppet Man in 'Cerrado' and 'Abierto': CAN YOU HELP ME, PLEASE? CAN YOU FIX IT?
Maria: Why yes, I can!
Frustrated Muppet Man in 'Cerrado' and 'Abierto': Oh, What do I need?
Maria: [as she opens the toolbox] What you need is this!
[Holds up the pink "Abierto" sign]
Frustrated Muppet Man in 'Cerrado' and 'Abierto': ABIERTO?
Maria: Yes, "Abierto" is the Spanish word for open!
[to the kitchen]
[Everything automatically opens up]
Frustrated Muppet Man in 'Cerrado' and 'Abierto': ABIERTO! WOW!

Frustrated Muppet Man in 'Cerrado' and 'Abierto': I CAN'T DO ANYTHING! EVERYTHING IS ABIERTO!
Maria: I can see that, Everything is open!
Frustrated Muppet Man in 'Cerrado' and 'Abierto': CAN YOU HELP ME, PLEASE? CAN YOU FIX IT?
Maria: Of course I can!
Frustrated Muppet Man in 'Cerrado' and 'Abierto': OH GOOD!
Maria: [Opens the toolbox] What you need is this!
[Holds up the green "Cerrado" sign]
Frustrated Muppet Man in 'Cerrado' and 'Abierto': Cerrado?
Maria: Why yes! You see, Everything is "Abierto", which is a Spanish word for Open. And this is "Cerrado", which is the Spanish word for Closed.
[to the Kitchen]
[Everything automatically closed]
Frustrated Muppet Man in 'Cerrado' and 'Abierto': Unreal, You are a genius.
Maria: All in the day's work.

"Sesame Street: Luis Has Back Pain (#28.91)" (1997)
Big Bird: You know something? I am getting really board with this ''Look at your feet, OOH, EEH, AHH, game!'' Can we play something else.
Maria: Big Bird, We are not playing a game. Luis hurt his back.
Big Bird: No wonder you were bending down. Maybe you should stand up straight.
[as Big Bird put Luis back]
Luis: YEOWWWWWWWWWWW! Big Bird, I can't stand up straight.

Luis: What did my doctor say?
Maria: Well, With plenty of rest, You lower back pain will go away. Oh, And no more lifting ballerinas.

Sesame Street, Special (1988) (TV)
Luis: My, what a little picture. I would definitely say that is a tiny picture.
Maria: Really? I'd say it was itsy bitsy myself.
[they walk to a larger picture]
Maria: THAT is an enormous picture. Why I'd say it was humgous.
Luis: Well I would say it's tremendous. I might even call it stupendous.
Maria: You would!

Luis: Just look at *this*. Isn't it fantastic?
Maria: No it isn't, it's terrific.
Luis: Fantastic.
Maria: Terrific.
Luis: Fantastic!
Maria: Terrific!
Gordon: [singing] Can't you see that you both agree / What's the reason for this spat?
Susan: [singing] You like to say things this way / And you like to say things that.
Telly Monster: [singing] What a shame / It all means the same / There's no need to make a scene.
Elmo: [singing] There are lot's of ways to say the very same thing / If you know what I mean / SO...

"Sesame Street: Linda Gets the Closed Caption Decoder (#21.67)" (1990)
Telly Monster: Why does she need that? She can watch TV.
Maria: Yeah, You don't just watch TV, You listen to it too. However, Linda can't hear it because she is deaf!
Telly Monster: Oh, That's no fun!
Maria: Not at all. But with this machine. Linda can just read the words on the screen.

Telly Monster: [Reading the words on the pretend television with Maria moving her lips and not making a sound] Hello, Telly! How are you?
Maria: YEAH!
Telly Monster: OH, THAT'S WHAT YOU WERE SAYING! WOW! I could not hear it, But I could read it!
Maria: That's right! And that's what this machine is going to do! It's going to make it possible for Linda to just read the words on the screen.
Telly Monster: But she can't, Her TV is Broken.

Christmas Eve on Sesame Street (1978) (TV)
Maria: Oscar, I hope you're satisfied. You had to start all that stuff about Santa and tiny chimneys, and you've upset Big Bird so much, he's gone.
Oscar: Well, I didn't know he'd do anything dumb like that! I was only teasin' him!
Maria: Teasing him? Telling him that Santa's not gonna bring anybody any presents because he can't get down a tiny chimney? Now, you call that teasing?
Oscar: Well, he'll come back! He's part homing pigeon! Besides, what's the big deal? He lives outdoors all the time anyway!
Maria: Now, look here, Oscar. Now, the nest is something different. That's his home. He's got an electric blanket there and he's got heating pads and he's around all the people that he loves, but here, it's Christmas Eve and he's out there somewhere in this big city, and it keeps snowing and it's getting colder and he could be in serious trouble unless we find him! So what are you gonna do about it?
Oscar: I'm gonna find him and bring him back!

"Sesame Street: Hurricane: Part 2 (#32.62)" (2001)
Big Bird: My home, My nest.
Maria: Don't worry, Big Bird. We are all here to help.
Gabi: Yeah, My mother is good at fixing things.
Luis: HEY, EVERYBODY! I have a plan!
Big Bird: My home, My nest?
Luis: Well, That's what the plan is. We are rebuilding your nest. As we can see, There has been a lot of damages done.
Big Bird: [Shocked] A lot of damages? My Home, My Nest!
Maria: But that's what Luis is trying to tell you. We can fix things.
Gabi: Yeah, My parents are good at fixing things.
Big Bird: [to his Teddy Bear, Radar] Well, Radar. We can come home tonight.
Maria: [Chuckles] Uh, No. No, Big Bird. You won't have your nest tonight.
Big Bird: [Shocked] But why not?
Gordon: Well, Big Bird. Even with everybody pitching in and helping out, That's a lot of work.
Alan: And it takes time for it to process.
Big Bird: But I want my nest now! Where should I stay then?
Susan: Well, There's some leftover Birdseed stew in my apartment.
Big Bird: There is? Well, Okay!

"Sesame Street: Episode #15.4" (1983)
Big Bird: [has drawn caricatures of Luis, Susan, Gordon, Bob, Maria, David, Olivia, and Mr. Hooper. After handing out seven of them, he sees that Mr. Hooper is missing] Say, where is he?
Maria: Big Bird, don't you remember we told you? Mr. Hooper died. He's dead.
Big Bird: Oh, yeah, I remember. Well, I'll give it to him when he comes back.
Susan: Big Bird, Mr. Hooper's not coming back.
Big Bird: Well, why not?
Susan: Big Bird, when people die, they don't come back.
Big Bird: Ever?
Susan: [shakes her head] No, never.
Big Bird: Well, why not?
Luis: Well, Big Bird, They're *dead*. They... They can't come back.
Big Bird: Well, he's got to come back. Why, who's going to take care of the store? And who's going to make my birdseed milkshakes, and tell me stories?
David: Big Bird, I?m going to take care of the store. Mr. Hooper - he left it to me. And I'll make you your milkshakes, and we'll all tell you stories, and we'll make sure you're okay.
Susan: Yeah, we'll look after you.
Big Bird: Oh, hmm.
[walks around as he thinks]
Big Bird: Well, it won't be the same.
Bob: You're right, Big Bird. It's... It'll never be the same around here without him. But you know something? We can all be very happy that we had the chance to be with him, and to know him, and to love him a lot when he was here.
Olivia: And Big Bird, we still have our memories of him.
Big Bird: Oh, yeah, Our memories. Right. Why, memories... that's how I drew this picture. From memory. And we can remember him, and remember him, and remember him... as much as we want to.
[looks at Mr. Hooper's picture]
Big Bird: But, I don't like it.
[chokes up]
Big Bird: It makes me sad.
David: We all feel sad, Big Bird.
Big Bird: He's never coming back?
[David and Olivia shake their heads]
Big Bird: Well, I don't understand! You know everything was just fine. Why does it have to be this way? Give me one good reason!
Gordon: Big Bird, It has to be this way... because.
Big Bird: Just because?
Gordon: Just... because.
Big Bird: Oh.
[looks at the picture]
Big Bird: You know, I'm going to miss you, Mr. Looper.
Maria: That's *Hooper*, Big Bird. Hooper.
[she and the others chuckle]
Big Bird: Right.
[as he continues to look at the picture, the others gather around him. Our view pulls back to a wide shot of the set, and the screen slowly fades to black]

"Sesame Street: Episode #19.47" (1988)
Maria: Oscar, I have tried stories, I have tried lullabies, I tried different things. But Irvine keeps doing the same. She keeps on crying and crying and throwing a temper tantrum. I can't stand it anymore. I quit! I give up!
Oscar the Grouch: Oh, Relax sweetie. There is only one way to get a grouch baby back to sleep.
[to Grungetta]
Oscar the Grouch: Oh, Grungetta!
Grungetta: Yes? Oscar?
Oscar the Grouch: I just had a rotten time with you, today!
Oscar the Grouch: NO YOU DID NOT!
Grungetta: DID TOO!
Oscar the Grouch: YOU DID NOT!
Grungetta: I DID TOO!
[They keep arguing until Irvine finally calms down]
Oscar the Grouch: Hey, Look Irvine finally calms down. Grouch babies love to calm down to a sound of a good loud argument.
[They continue to argue at each other]

Elmo Saves Christmas (1996) (V)
Elmo: How come Maria and Luis aren't fixing the toasters?
Luis: Oh, we're too busy celebratin' Christmas.
Maria: Yeah! Wrapping presents, unwrapping presents.
Luis: Cooking turkeys!
Maria: Eating turkeys! It's a full-time job! Who has time to work?'!

"Sesame Street: Mine-Itis Hits Sesame Street (#39.40)" (2008)
Sofia: Maybe Brian Williams was wrong all along.
Elmo: AHEM! Elmo Monster is happy and proud to announce that people are still sharing on Sesame Street! YAYYYYYYY!
Oscar the Grouch: Heh-Heh-Heh! Well, I got some news to tell you. There won't be much sharing going on for long! In case you may not notice. There is a whole lot of Mine-Itis going on.
Everybody: [Elmo and Sofia] Mine-Itis?
Oscar the Grouch: Yes, It's a grouch sickness that makes everything world their's and they don't want to share it.
Sofia: If it's a grouch sickeness. Why is everybody getting it?
Oscar the Grouch: Just luck I guess.
[Looks through his binocular]
Oscar the Grouch: Ah, What did I tell you. Maria is coming down with Mine-Itis right now. Look at her. She is starting to get wildly itchy.
Maria Figueroa Rodriguez: [as she scratches her skin] Guys, I am starting to get wildly itchy.
Oscar the Grouch: Now he hopping like a kangaroo.
Luis Rodriguez: Why are you hopping like a kangaroo?
Maria Figueroa Rodriguez: I don't know?
Oscar the Grouch: Now she twirling.
Maria Figueroa Rodriguez: [as she twirls] Anybody feel like twirling?
Sofia: I don't believe this!
Elmo: Maria?
Maria Figueroa Rodriguez: MINE!
[Takes all the food away from Luis and Gabi]
Everybody: [Elmo and Sofia] MINE-ITIS!
Oscar the Grouch: A classic case.
Announcer #2: And now, Here is Brian Williams with a Sesame Street Nightly News Update!
Brian Williams: This just in, Maria from Sesame Street has the case of Mine-Itis and she is not sharing. I repeat, Another case has been confirmed.
Grouch Theif: MINE
[Steals Brian's tie]
Brian Williams: HEY! THAT'S MY CLIP ON TIE!
Everybody: Mine-Itis!
Oscar the Grouch: No that's just a grouch who like to steal things.
Grouch Theif: MINE!
[Takes his microphone]

"Sesame Street: Montana Day (Part 4) (#23.9)" (1991)
Maria: At the Fix-It Shop, We have a monitor. But why do you need a monitor for?
Herbie Hancock: Well, The great thing about this is. The reason why we have a monitor is because we don't hear the sound. Be we can't see the sound in graphics.
Maria: Is that a picture of a note?
Herbie Hancock: It's a picture of the voice of Tatyana Ali. And now here is another picture of Tatyana Ali. Here it is.
[Shows another picture]
Herbie Hancock: . And let me show the third one.
Kid #1: Look, A flying pig.
Herbie Hancock: Looks like a flying pig.
Maria: And this looks a lot like the piano at Bob's Apartment. Or is it an electric keyboard. Does it more?
Herbie Hancock: Why yes! You see, This is not just a piano. You see, This is a synthesizer. It's a computer based synthesizer. We can do more things. And here is my boss Clyde on the typewriting keyboard.
Clyde: Pleasure to meet you.
Maria: [And other kids] Hello, Clyde!
Herbie Hancock: And you can do so many other things that you cannot do on the piano. For example, I can press one note and make a bunch of notes play. I can hit one, And a bunch of notes can play. Like this one
[Presses the key on the keyboard, And it plays a saxophone playing a scale note]
Herbie Hancock: See, A bunch of notes play.
Kid #1: Can you make an elephant sound?
Herbie Hancock: I can do that!
Kid #2: And noise?
Herbie Hancock: I can make noises too.