Launchpad McQuack
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Quotes for
Launchpad McQuack (Character)
from "Darkwing Duck" (1991)

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DuckTales: Remastered (2013) (VG)
Launchpad McQuack: You got your radio, Mr McDee?
Scrooge McDuck: Aye, of course I do.
Launchpad McQuack: Great! Then I'll be your eyes in the sky!
Scrooge McDuck: I'd be happy if you'd just keep your eyes ON the sky, for once...
[walks off]
Scrooge McDuck: What an airhead...
Launchpad McQuack: [on radio] Hey, I heard that!

Launchpad McQuack: [on radio] You haven't stumbled across a pizza joint down there, have ya, Mr McDee? I'm getting kinda hungry up here...
Scrooge McDuck: I'm not even going to dignify that question with a response.

Launchpad McQuack: [on radio] This is Launchpad, Mr McDee! Come in, Mr McD...
[crash!]
Scrooge McDuck: Launchpad, what was that?
Launchpad McQuack: Uh, nothing, boss... I'm sure nobody was using that tree anyway...
[Angry monkeys are heard on the radio]
Launchpad McQuack: Uh, except maybe them... and them... and also them!

Launchpad McQuack: [on radio] I'm running a little low on fuel up here...
Scrooge McDuck: Well, where are the extra fuel canisters?
Launchpad McQuack: [awkward laugh] Well, that's why I'm calling yah, boss. I checked the glove compartment, but all I found was gloves.
Scrooge McDuck: You'd best find those fuel canisters, or the next thing you'll be flying is a model airplane!
Launchpad McQuack: Okay, okay! Yeesh! Last time I ask you for help...
Scrooge McDuck: Is that a promise?

[Scrooge comes across a stone disk with circular holes]
Launchpad McQuack: Oh, you must have come across an ancient Incan poker table, Mr McDee! How about I come down here and you deal me in for a hand?
Scrooge McDuck: You come down here and I'll deal you a blow to the head! You're supposed to be keeping an eye out for trouble, remember?

Launchpad McQuack: You know, Mc McDee, I had a thought.
Scrooge McDuck: Launchpad, why start now and spoil a perfect record?
Launchpad McQuack: That's a good question!
Scrooge McDuck: Well, I don't have all day! What was your thought?
Launchpad McQuack: Come to think of it... I forgot.
Scrooge McDuck: Launchpad, were you dropped on your head much as a child?
Launchpad McQuack: All the time? Why?

Launchpad McQuack: No worries, Mr McDee, I've got the coordinates for Shadow Pass locked in! We'll be there lickety-split!
Flintheart Glomgold: More like lickety-splat!
Scrooge McDuck: Glomgold!
Flintheart Glomgold: Nice to see ye, McDuck! Especially since you've led me right to the treasure! To whom do I owe my thanks - your idiotic pilot, or did yeh play it safe and let those two wee ones fly the plane?
Scrooge McDuck: You dirty cheat, only you could sink so low!
Launchpad McQuack: And at 15000 feet, no less!

[a rumble is heard]
Launchpad McQuack: [checks his tummy] Wasn't me.
Webby: Then what was it?
[a roar is heard again]
Launchpad McQuack: [frightened] That definitely wasn't me!
Scrooge McDuck: Whatever it was, it won't last long if it tries to get between me and the Lost Crown!
Webby: Uncle Scrooge, don't go!
Scrooge McDuck: Dinnae worry, lassie, whatever is in that cave is no match for your Uncle Scrooge. I earned my fortune by being smarter than the smarties, and tougher than the toughies. If anything's in there, it had better step aside!
Webby: But I'm scared!
Scrooge McDuck: Stay with Launchpad, he'll take good care of you!
[goes off]
Webby: Stay with Launchpad? Gee, now I'm EXTRA scared!

[Webby communicates with the female yeti]
Webby: W She says she's sorry if she hurt you. She's just upset 'cause she stepped on a thorn, and can't get it out.
Scrooge McDuck: A thorn? You don't suppose...
[checks out the yeti's foot]
Scrooge McDuck: Here's your thorn, Webigail: the Lost Crown of Genghis Khan!
Webby: The pretty crown, you found it!
Scrooge McDuck: Aye, the poor creature was standing on it! Webby, I cannae thank you enough! I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. Without your help we never would have found the treasure! Oh, and thanks to you too, ma'am!
[the yeti roars]
Webby: [giggles] I think she likes you, Uncle Scrooge!
Launchpad McQuack: That's odd, usually it's me the ladies go gaga for...

Launchpad McQuack: It was real swell of you to give Glomgold a lift home, Mr McD!
[Glomgold and the Beagle Boys are in a paddy wagon]
Scrooge McDuck: Uh, I'll put it on your bill, Flinty. You can pay me back in, oh, three to five years - with interest of course!
[laughs]
Flintheart Glomgold: I'll get your for this, McDuck! Mark my words!
[is taken away]
Scrooge McDuck: Now there's a sight I never get tired of...


DuckTales the Movie: Treasure of the Lost Lamp (1990)
Scrooge McDuck: Launchpad! Look what you've done to these ancient ruins!
Launchpad: Well, it could've been worse - it could've been something *new*.

Launchpad: Forward, ho!
[They crash]
Launchpad: Reverse, ho!
Scrooge McDuck: If you don't stop crashing, I'll give you the heave ho!

[during Launchpad's flight in the opening scene]
Scrooge McDuck: Launchpad, is this a stunt you learned in flight school?
Launchpad: Flight school?
Scrooge McDuck: You mean you *never* took flying lessons?
Launchpad: [lunkishly] Well, I took a crash course.
Scrooge McDuck: Now he tells me.

Launchpad: Please put your seats back in an upright position.
Scrooge McDuck: Just put the plane up in an upright position!

Launchpad: I've got the bin at 12:00 high, Mr. McD... give or take 10 minutes.

Huey: I don't see anything, Uncle Scrooge.
Dewey: Not even a mirage.
Launchpad: Maybe we made a wrong turn at that last sand dune.

Scrooge McDuck: Launchpad, get me out of here fast!
Launchpad: Dull party, eh, Mr. McD?
Scrooge McDuck: Just go!

Launchpad: Either the water's getting higher or the roof is getting lower!


"Walt Disney's Wonderful World of Color: Super DuckTales (#33.19)" (1989)
Scrooge McDuck: [about the rocket Launchpad acquired] What's THIS?
Launchpad McQuack: The USS Jumpstart, first rocket with a clutch. Hard to fly, but easy on the pocketbook. Gets 35 lightyears to the gallon.

Launchpad McQuack: Gee, Mr. McD, lighten up. What's more important? A few quadrillion dollars, or your life?
Scrooge McDuck: Is this a multiple choice question?

Launchpad McQuack: Okay, let's see, key in the ignition, pump the throttle, wipers work okay...
Scrooge McDuck: Launchpad, are you sure you can fly this rocket?
Launchpad McQuack: Trust me, I know what I'm doing.
Scrooge McDuck: Clutch, clutch!
Gizmo-Duck: Throttle, throttle!
Launchpad McQuack: Sheesh, backseat astronauts.

Launchpad McQuack: [there's a knock at the door] Uh, we have all the Fuller brushes and girl scout cookies we need!


"DuckTales: Where No Duck Has Gone Before (#1.8)" (1987)
Scrooge McDuck: This is Launchpad, he's my pilot.
Launchpad McQuack: [to Major Courage] A REAL pilot, not some phoney fly-boy.

Major Courage: What kept you?
Launchpad McQuack: [dazed] I would've been back sooner, but they weren't done putting my brain through a blender.

Launchpad McQuack: Real heroes don't need cameras, they just do what needs to be done.


"DuckTales: Lost Crown of Genghis Khan (#1.45)" (1987)
Launchpad McQuack: [being chased by an amorous Yeti] NO WAY!
[he can be heard from the very outside of the caves, where Scrooge and the nephews are]
Huey Duck: What was that?
Scrooge McDuck: I don't know...

[last lines]
[the Yeti drops Launchpad and chases Standforth]
Scrooge McDuck: [chuckles] Looks like she dumped you, Launchpad!
Launchpad McQuack: Yeah, in more ways than one.

Scrooge McDuck: Launchpad, where are the parachutes?
Launchpad McQuack: In the closet... back at the airport!


"DuckTales: Dinosaur Ducks (#1.39)" (1987)
Launchpad McQuack: [about a T-rex] He made Mount Everest look like a speed bump!

[last lines]
Launchpad McQuack: It's good you picked a great pilot to rely on, Mr McD!
[the nephews cringe]
Scrooge McDuck: I also picked a plane with an automatic pilot...


"Darkwing Duck: Double Darkwings (#1.22)" (1991)
Launchpad McQuack: [as the Darkwing decoy] I am the error that flaps in the night. I am the surcharge that triples your bill.

Darkwing Duck: I am the terror...
Launchpad McQuack: ...that flaps in the night.


"DuckTales: Catch as Cash Can: Part 3 - Aqua Ducks (#1.29)" (1987)
Launchpad McQuack: If we get some spoons, we can dig ourselves out of here!
Scrooge McDuck: Launchpad, I'm amazed you got through your childhood!


"DuckTales: Armstrong (#1.6)" (1987)
[Armstrong clears a rockslide]
Scrooge McDuck: That would have taken YOU the rest of your life!
Launchpad McQuack: Maybe longer.


"Darkwing Duck: Duck Blind (#1.8)" (1991)
Darkwing Duck: [talking about Megavolt] Fortunately, we have a psychological advantage.
Launchpad McQuack: Uh, because we're uh, sane, and he's uh, not?
Darkwing Duck: Nooo, because Megavolt's afraid of me. I've sent him to the electric chair. Twice.


"Darkwing Duck: Let's Get Respectable (#1.49)" (1992)
Darkwing Duck: [very depressed] How could I be so caught up in my own image, so stupid as to let Negaduck trick me?
Launchpad: Ah, you were just being yourself, DW. Any idiot would have done the same thing.
Darkwing Duck: [sarcastically] Thanks, LP.


"Darkwing Duck: Apes of Wrath (#1.6)" (1991)
Launchpad McQuack: [DW and LP are marched into village] Looks like we might have to fight our way out of this one, DW.
Darkwing Duck: Oh contraire, mon flaire. In a time of crisis, one must remain cool, calm, and unflappably civil.
[Jumps on gorilla and shakes its head]
Darkwing Duck: Okay, you big baboon, this is your last chance! *Where's Gosalyn?*
Darkwing Duck: [looks at the camera] Okay, so I don't practice what I preach. I'm a parent, I can get away with it.


"Darkwing Duck: The Quiverwing Quack (#1.61)" (1992)
Launchpad: Aw gee, I hate it when you and Gosalyn are fighting.
Drake Mallard: Well so do I, but was I wrong to stop her? Facing a criminal like Negaduck isn't the typical after school job!
Launchpad: Well, my dad told me: there comes a time when a parent has to start letting go. Because if you hold on too tight, the child could smother, and the little tyke has to start looking out for himself. Because although it really hurts, the biggest thrill is seeing it fly all by itself.
Drake Mallard: Your dad said all that?
Launchpad: Yep! Right before he threw me out and told me to get a job.