Quotes for
Iago (Character)
from Aladdin (1992)

Aladdin (1992)

Iago: Look at this. I'm so ticked off that I'm molting.

[Iago is powering a mystic device by foot power]
Iago: With all due respect, Your Rottenness, couldn't we just wait for a *real* storm?
Jafar: Save your breath, Iago. Faster!
[he inserts the Sultan's ring into the top of the hourglass]
Iago: Yes, O Mighty Evil One!
[he pedals the device faster]

Princess Jasmine: Father, I choose Prince Ali!
Jafar: Prince Ali left!
[shows Aladdin standing in the doorway to the balcony]
Aladdin: Better check your crystal ball again, Jafar!
Princess Jasmine: Prince Ali!
Iago: How in the he- Uh, awk!

Iago: Ladies and gentlemen, a warm Agrabah welcome for Sorcerer Jafar!
Jafar: Now where were we? Ah, yes - abject humiliation!
[He zaps Jasmine and the Sultan with his staff, and they both bow to him. Rajah comes running at him]
Jafar: Down, boy!
[He zaps Rajah, and the tiger turns into a kitty-cat]
Jafar: Oh, Princess...
[lifts Jasmine's chin with his staff]
Jafar: There's someone I'm dying to introduce you to.
Aladdin: [Flying towards him on Carpet] Jafar! Get your hands off her!
Jafar: [zaps Aladdin, Carpet flies away. Singing] Prince Ali, yes, it is he, but not as you know him. Read my lips and come to grips with reality.
[brings Aladdin and Jasmine closer in the air]
Jafar: [to Jasmine] Yes, meet a blast from your past.
[to Aladdin]
Jafar: Whose lies were too good to last! Say hello to your precious Prince Ali!
[zaps Ali back to Aladdin as he says it]
Iago: [mockingly] Or should we say Aladdin?
Princess Jasmine: [shocked] Ali?
Aladdin: Jasmine, I tried to tell you... I just...
Jafar: [still singing] So Ali turns out to be merely Aladdin.
[turns Abu back to his normal self]
Jafar: Just a con, need I go on? Take it from me, his personality flaws, give me adequate cause, to send him packing on a one-way trip...
[sends Aladdin and Abu in a pillar, carpet flies in after them]
Jafar: so his prospects take a terminal dip, his assets frozen, the venue chosen, is the ends of the earth...
[sends the pillar in the air]
Jafar: Whoopeeeeeeeeee! So long!
Iago: Good bye, see ya!
Jafar: [sings] Ex-Prince Ahhh-liiiiiiiiiii!
[laughs maniacally]

Jafar: Get your blasted beak out of my face!
Iago: Oh, shut up, you moron!
Jafar: Don't tell ME to shut up!
Genie: Allow me. Ten thousand years in the Cave of Wonders outta chill him out!
[flicks them into the distance]

Sultan: Jafar, you - vile betrayer!
Iago: That's Sultan Vile Betrayer to *you*!

Princess Jasmine: [to Jafar] At least some good will come of my being forced to marry. When I am Queen, I will have the power to get rid of *you*.
Sultan: Well, now. That's nice. All settled then. Now, Jasmine, getting back to this suitor business... Jasmine? Jasmine!
[the Sultan notices that Jasmine is running out of the room, and runs after her]
Jafar: [scowls in their direction] If only I had gotten that *lamp*!
Iago: [mocking Jasmine] "I will have the power to get rid of you." Dahhh! To think we gotta keep kissin' up to that chump, and his chump daughter, for the rest of our lives...
Jafar: No, Iago. Only until she finds a chump husband. Then she'll have us banished. Or... beheaded.
Jafar, Iago: Ewwww.
Iago: Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute! Jafar, what if *you* were the chump husband?
Jafar: What?
Iago: Okay, okay. *You* marry the princess, all right? And-and, uh, you- Then *you* become the sultan!
Jafar: Marry the shrew. I become sultan. The idea has merit.
Iago: Yes, merit. Yes! And then, we drop papa-in-law and the little woman off a cliff.
[he dives off Jafar's staff headfirst, then hits the ground]
Iago: "Yaaaaaaaaah - ker-splat!"
Jafar: [laughs] I love the way your *foul* little mind works!

[Iago is disguised as a flamingo. He turns around and finds a real flamingo smiling in his face]
Iago: You got a problem...
[he trips the flamingo with his stilts]
Iago: ...pinky?

Iago: Oh, boy. He's cracked. He's gone nuts. Jafar! Ja-faaar, get a grip!
[Jafar grabs Iago by the throat]
Iago: Ack! Good grip.

Iago: I can't take it anymore! If I gotta choke down on one more of those moldy, disgusting crackers... Bam! Whack!
Jafar: Calm yourself, Iago.
Iago: And then I'd grab him around the head. Whack, whack!
Jafar: Soon *I* will be sultan, not that addlepated twit.
Iago: And then *I* stuff the crackers down *his* throat. Ha-ha...

Iago: [taking the lamp] Boy, Jafar's gonna be happy to see you.
Iago: [as Jafar] Excellent work, Iago.
Iago: Ah, go on.
Iago: [as Jafar] No, really. On a scale of one to ten, *you* are an eleven.
Iago: Oh, Jafar, you're too kind. I'm embarrassed. I'm blushing.

Jafar: You little fool. You thought you could defeat the most powerful being on Earth!
Iago: Squeeze him, Jafar. Squeeze him like a...
[the Genie slaps Iago into the air]
Jafar: Without the genie, boy, you're nothing.
Aladdin: The genie. The genie! The genie has more power than you'll ever have.
Jafar: What?
Aladdin: He *gave* you your power. He can take it away.
Genie: Al, what are you doing? Why are you bringing me into this?
Aladdin: Face it, Jafar. You're still just... second-best.
Jafar: [slightly shocked] You're right. His power does exceed my own. But not for long.
[descends toward the Genie and circles him]
Genie: The boy is crazy. He's a little punch-drunk. One too many hits with the snake.
Jafar: Slave, I make my third wish. I wish to be an all-powerful genie!
Genie: All right. Your wish is my command.
[sarcastically]
Genie: Way to go, Al.

Jafar: Patience Iago, patience. Gazeem was obviously less than worthy.
Iago: Oh, there's a big surprise! That's an incredible - I think I'm going to have a heart attack and die of not surprise!

Iago: Oooooh, nice shot, Jafa-
[Abu whacks him over the head]

Iago: We gotta get outta here! We gotta get out! I gotta start packing, Your Highness! Only essentials, we gotta travel light. I'll bring the guns, the weapons, the knives...
[suddenly comes across a photo of himself and Jafar as he is rummaging through his posessions]
Iago: And uh, how about this picture? I don't know, I think I'm making a weird face in it...

---

The Return of Jafar (1994) (V)

Iago: The street rat is living in the palace now? Aah! That does it! All reports are in! Life is now officially unfair!

Iago: I've got sand in places I didn't even know I had!
Jafar: [heard from inside his lamp] Spare me your prattling, Iago. Are we out yet?
Iago: [mimcking Jafar] 'Are we out yet? Are we out yet?' Yes, we're out!

Iago: [relaxing on a large cushion] Oh, yeah. Bein' one of the good guys has his advantages. Ahh, advisor to Aladdin, the new grand vizier. And when Aladdin becomes Sultan, that will make me the grand vizier! Only I'm not gonna blow it like that idiot Jafar!
[he eats a cluster of grapes, then tosses the stem away]
Iago: I'll never have to stand in his shadow again.
[the lights go out, a spotlight switches on over Iago and Jafar appears out of the darkness]
Iago: [startled] Awk!
[Jafar steps forwards]
Iago: Jafar!
[nervously]
Iago: Buddy?

Iago: [smearing dirt all over himself] I'll just get Aladdin on my side with a little sympathy act. And I'll be back in the palace again quicker than you can say "Easy Street."
[Aladdin turns corner to find Iago panting for breath]
Iago: Aladdin... kid... finally... got free... of... Jafar.
Aladdin 'Al': Iago! What are you doing here?
Iago: Where are you? Getting dark. Hold me...
[Aladdin fiercely grabs at him]
Iago: Ah! Hey, I meant gentle-like!

Iago: Reality check: Jafar is large and in charge!

[after Princess Jasmine has said that she is also going to see the world]
Iago: [flying around] Crazy talk! Why do I keep getting hooked up with these *warped people*?
[the camera pans out from the Palace]
Iago: [sweetly] Shouldn't somebody ask what the *brave parrot* wants to do?

Princess Jasmine: [to Iago] How could you double-cross Aladdin after all he's done for you?
Abu the Monkey: [chatters angrily]
Iago: Hey! Do I insult *your* mother?
[Abu stops]

Jafar: [bellowing at first, then softening down] You will now release me!... so that I may have my revenge.
Iago: [pulling himself loose from the sand, then shaking himself off] Yeah, yeah, when I'm good and ready.
Jafar: Do as I say, you worthless pipsqueak!
Iago: You know somethin'? You're nothing without me.
Jafar: What?
Iago: Who comes up with all the good ideas? ME! Who does all the work? ME!

Blue Genie: [impersonating Jiminy Cricket from "Pinocchio"] Just let your conscience be your guide.
Iago: Conscience? Never had one! Never.

Jafar: [to Aladdin] You shall never have my lamp, and there is no one to save you this time!
Iago: [swooping down, shouting] Hey, Jafar! Shut uuuuuuuuuuuuuuup!

---

Aladdin and the King of Thieves (1996) (V)

Iago: You're a good guy, Cassim. But not *too* good.

Iago: Allow me to introduce...
[Cassim laughs]
Cassim: The King of Thieves.
[Genie shrieks, then calls on a walkie-talkie]
Genie: All units, we have a Code Red.

Aladdin: Well, they have no where to go. We got 'em trapped.
Iago: *We*? They are 40 thieves! We are you, a rug, a monkey and me. Wait, don't count me.

Iago: Meet your match, Zorro!
Cassim: Good birdie. Polly want a little...?
Iago: Say "cracker" and I let you have it on principle!

Genie: [singing] They're finally getting married!
Sultan of Agrabah: [singing] They're finally getting married!
Thieves: [singing] They're finally getting married!
Iago: [singing] Look at all these presents!
Princess Jasmine: [singing] We're finally getting married!
Abu the Monkey: [squeaking] You're finally getting married!
Aladdin: [singing] I'm finally getting married!

Iago: Does this code have any rules that *don't* end in death?
Cassim: It's a strict code.

Iago: [after his tail gets stuck in the stone doorway in the cave; he is left with his tail bone; sarcastically] Oh, this is attractive!

Iago: [while the thieves pamper him; miserably] Oh, I love you guys...

The Magic Oracle: I am bound by the rule of one: one question, one answer.
Iago: I only want one answer! Where is the ultimate treasure?
The Magic Oracle: You've already asked your question.

---

"Aladdin: The Vapor Chase (#1.7)" (1994)

Iago: The smoke from the fire stole your hat. Of course. Wake me if anything unusual happens.

Iago: [about Genie] Why do things always get worse when he shows up?

Iago: [in his sleep] YOU GOT THE WRONG GUY! YOU WANT MY TWIN BROTHER, OTHELLO!

---

Mickey's House of Villains (2001) (V)

Cruella De Vil: Oh, Halloween at the House of Mouse, all treats and no tricks.
Cruella De Vil: If this were my house, I'd run things differently
Ursula: Add a splash of evil?
Captain Hook: Pillage and Plunger?
Iago: Blah, blah, blah. Every year it's the same thing...
Iago: ...all talk and no play, what a bunch of dull villains.
Jafar: Well, this year will be different,
[Jafar holds a small hourglass]
Jafar: I've got a trick for Mickey Mouse. But you'll have to wait till midnight.
[Jafar laughs]
Jafar: [Cruella, Ursula and Hook get excited]

Iago: Say, isn't it time for your Halloween trick?
Jafar: Patients, Iago,
Jafar: [Jafar gets the hourglass again] Midnight nears.

Iago: Say, isn't it time for your Halloween trick?
Jafar: Patience, Iago,
Jafar: [Jafar gets the hourglass again] Midnight nears.

---

"Aladdin: Much Abu About Something (#1.9)" (1994)

Crowd: Liberation Day! Liberation Day!
Iago: What's Liberation Day?
Genie: It means school's out and no mail.

Iago: There's nothing edible here. This foraging stuff is for the...
Genie: [as a bird] Birds?
Iago: You are *so* droll.

Iago: Abu! You're okay! And you're lucky, too, you stupid, stupid monkey!

---

"Aladdin: Bad Mood Rising (#1.2)" (1994)

Iago: Why isn't there an arms-dealer around when you need one?

Iago: You want to trade with this place? Terrific. We'll import all the pestilence and misery we need.

---

"Aladdin: The Wind Jackals of Mozenrath (#1.42)" (1994)

[Aladdin finds the Genie and Iago in the clutches of the bad guys]
Genie: Don't worry about us, Al.
Iago: Who asked you? Worry, Al. Fret, even!

Mozenrath: You're just in time to witness the destruction of Agrabah!
Aladdin: [to Iago] I think he needs a girlfriend or something.
Iago: I think he's married to his work.

---

"Aladdin: Dune Quixote (#1.25)" (1994)

Aladdin: [calling after Farouk] And next time, pick on someone your own size!
Iago: [muttering] If he can *find* anyone his own size.

---

"Aladdin: Of Ice and Men (#1.27)" (1994)

Iago: Face it Einstein. You're a has-been.
Frajhid: I may be a has-been, but I'm no Einstein.

---

"Aladdin: Destiny on Fire (#1.64)" (1995)

Aladdin: [leaping on] Carpet, we're going to the palace.
Iago: [Abu follows] Count me out.
Razoul: [running by] You're out.

---

"Aladdin: Garden of Evil (#1.8)" (1994)

Aladdin: [after Aladdin vanquishes Arbutus] Jasmine, we did it!
[he notices Jasmine looks upset]
Aladdin: Jasmine? What?
Princess Jasmine: Oh, Aladdin. I know you meant to do the right thing, but Arbutus was not a monster. He was just different.
Iago: Yeah, he was a beast!
Aladdin: Iago! Jasmine, I don't understand.
Princess Jasmine: He loved his garden the way you and Father love me.

---

"Aladdin: Fowl Weather (#1.17)" (1994)

Iago: Where there's a genie's brain, there's space to rent.

---

"Aladdin: Mission: Imp Possible (#1.44)" (1994)

Nefir Hasenuf: The ancient prophecies have come true!
Iago: Uh-oh. Ancient prophecies never predict anything good.

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