Cosmo Spacely
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Quotes for
Cosmo Spacely (Character)
from "The Jetsons" (1962)

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"The Jetsons: Test Pilot (#1.15)" (1962)
Mr. Spacely: Cogswell has the same jacket.
Professor Lunar: Impossible. Why I've spent every minute of the last 58 years of my life on this invention.
Mr. Spacely: Well take a look.
Professor Lunar: Oh well. Easy come, easy go.

George Jetson: The real George Jetson finally stood up.
Mr. Spacely: Well, would the real George Jetson care to sit down?

George Jetson: I'm going to Cogswell Cogs to see about a job.
Mr. Spacely: You mean you'd work for Cogswell after all this? You'd forget your dignity and go crawling to him for a job? You'd do THAT for a few miserly dollars a week?
George Jetson: Uh-huh.
Mr. Spacely: Wait for me, Jetson, I'll go with you.

Reporter: Mr. Jetson, I guess you're quite concerned about these tests.
George Jetson: Well, I...
Mr. Spacely: - I certainly am. Sure hope nothing happens to that life jacket.
Reporter: Oh um, Mr. Spacely, your every thought must be with the courageous man who's risking his life for you.
Mr. Spacely: Huh? Who's that?
Reporter: Your test pilot, Mr. Jetson.
Mr. Spacely: Oh him, yeah, I sure am worried about him. He's wearing MY life jacket.

Mr. Spacely: You can't tempt Jetson with money, can he?
George Jetson: Yep.

Mr. Spacely: Keep this up, Partner, and you'll have money to burn.
George Jetson: [Thinks he's dying] I was kinda hoping to go in the other direction.

George Jetson: What are you worried about? It's my life.
Mr. Spacely: Yeah well it's MY life jacket.
George Jetson: Alright, let'er rip!
Mr. Spacely: Don't say that!

Mr. Spacely: [the life jacket, once put in the wash, is destroyed] It was hit by lightning. Missiles. It was indestructable!
George Jetson: But it isn't washable. We should've put a label on it, "Dry clean only".

Jetsons: The Movie (1990)
Mr. Spaceley: Now what, Jetson? What is this time?
George Jetson: Just another little glitch, Mr. Spaceley!
Mr. Spaceley: Another little glitch, huh?
George Jetson: [shakes the Sprocket off his nose] Yes, sir.
Mr. Spaceley: I think I know what that glitch is, Jetson, and I'm looking at him!

Mr. Spaceley: What'll I do? What'll I do? I can lick this problem, but how? Think, Spacely, think. First I need someone to replace that Throttlebottom. But who?
[yells into the intercom]
Mr. Spaceley: Gertrude!
Gertrude: [she comes in] Yes, Mr. Spacely?
Mr. Spaceley: Take a problem.
[she begins typing]
Mr. Spaceley: We need one: A worker who's total loyalt is to Spacely Sprockets. And, of course, to me: President, CEO, and all-around sweetiepie. Two: someone expendable.
[his image comes up on Gertrude's computer screen]
Mr. Spaceley: Very funny. Three: Smoeone who will work for peanuts. Four: Not too bright. And Five: Someone who can push a button. That's it! Ok, what have you got?
Gertrude: It's thinking, Mr. Spacely. It's thinking.
[the screen flashes a lot of images until it comes to George's picture]
Mr. Spaceley: Jetson? I wouldn't choose Jetson even if Spacely Sprockets was going bankrupt! If I needed a transfusion! If I lost my stockholders! My home! If I were penniless!
[calms down]
Mr. Spaceley: Penniless?
Gertrude: He is expendable.
Mr. Spaceley: Perfect!

Mr. Spaceley: I never should've made that dummy George Jetson vice president. When I get home, I'll get a new vice president.
[the Jetsons, Astro, Teddy 2, Fergie, Apollo Blue, Squet and some of the Grungies all rise up into the plant from the ore asteroid below by elevator]
George Jetson: [angrily] You've already got a vice president.
Mr. Spaceley: Jetson?
George Jetson: That's right, Mr. Spacely, that "dummy" George Jetson.

[Mr. Spacely has ordered George via video-phone to shut the plant down, which George does promptly]
George Jetson: It's off, sir.
Mr. Spaceley: And get it started soon. Lost time means lost money. And lost money means lost vice president! Get it?
[George gulps]

Mr. Spaceley: [to Rudy 2] Where's Jetson, and why is the plant shut down?
Rudy 2: It's the middle of the night, sir.
Mr. Spaceley: Machines don't sleep. Start it up! Every second lost means money lost. And money lost means I scream *a lot*!

Additional Voices: According to my report, this space station has worked a total three days in the past six months
Mr. Spaceley: [getting slightly panicky] We've had leadership problems
Additional Voices: [glaring at Spacely] My thoughts exactly

Mr. Spacely: Don't give those guys anymore donuts.

"The Jetsons: A Jetson Christmas Carol (#2.41)" (1985)
Mr. Spacely: Be it ever so dirty, there's nothing like money.

Teenage Mr. Spacely: Okay, you win, Starla, I'll take half a day off on our wedding day.
Mr. Spacely: See? I can be flexible.

George: Merry Christmas, sir.
Mr. Spacely: Don't call me merry! I have an image to maintain!

Marsley: I'm here to tell you to change your ways or there will be a price to pay.
Mr. Spacely: So how much would it be? I'll pay it.

Mr. Spacely: Look, I'm a businessman, not a fairy dog-father.

Starla: Sometimes I think you like money more than me.
Teenage Mr. Spacely: Yeah, but I like you more than I like spaceball.

"The Jetsons: Uniblab (#1.10)" (1962)
George Jetson: I'll just tell Mr. Spacely I'm very sorry and that I'll never call him names again.
[Nearly has a head-on collision with another car]
George Jetson: Why you big strata-jerk. It's vacuum-heads like you who keep fuselage and fender shops in business. Come on out and face the music.
Mr. Spacely: [Emerges from the other car] 'Morning, Jetson. Nice day isn't it?
George Jetson: M-M-M-Mr. Spacely, I presume?
Mr. Spacely: Correct. I hope you're wearing your watch, Jetson, BECAUSE YOU HAVE EXACTLY 5 MINUTES TO CLEAN OUT YOUR DESK.

"The Jetsons: Crime Games (#3.1)" (1987)
Mr. Spacely: Are you out of your orbit?

"The Jetsons: Elroy's TV Show (#1.9)" (1962)
George Jetson: [Mr. Spacely is being beat up by a movie robot] Mr. Spacely, you'd better quit. It's too rough on you.
Mr. Spacely: What? And give up show biz? Never!

"The Jetsons: S.M.A.S.H. (#2.9)" (1985)
Mr. Spacely: [referring to his destroyed car, on the phone] All of it? OF COURSE I WANT ALL OF IT!
[under his breath]
Mr. Spacely: Dumb mechanic!
Lawyer: Let's sue him for stupidity!

The Jetsons Meet the Flintstones (1987) (TV)
Mr. Spacely: Jetson, there's a leak around here and I want it stopped.
George Jetson: Yes, sir. I know a very good plumber: Mr. Skywrench.
Mr. Spacely: An *industrial* leak, you molecule brain! And don't play innocent with me, Jetson. I have my suspicions where that leak is coming from, and it's you!
George Jetson: Me?
Mr. Spacely: How else can I explain Cogswell stealing every major project I come up with right from under my nose?
George Jetson: Well, I... I... I...
Mr. Spacely: Darn right it's you, you, you!
George Jetson: But sir...
Mr. Spacely: I spent a fortune romancing General Blackhole just to get that secret contract to the Interstellar Lunar Probe. Nobody else knew it existed, but are they using Spacely Sprockets? No! They're using Cogswell Cogs!
George Jetson: How do you suppose Mr. Cogswell got wind of it, Mr. Spacely?
Mr. Spacely: From a windbag like you, Jetson!
R.U.D.I.: No, no...
Mr. Spacely: [to R.U.D.I] I told you to butt out!
[R.U.D.I. tunes out]
Mr. Spacely: Cogswell's beaten me out of every one of my secret projects, from the Lunar Probe to the Humphrey Bogar Lookalike sprocket for the nostalgia buffs.
R.U.D.I.: [tuning in momentarily] Too bad, sweetheart.
George Jetson: Uh, what can we do, boss?
Mr. Spacely: Not me, you, Jetson! You want to clear your name? Then find out how Cogswell's getting his information.
George Jetson: [gasp] You mean, *spy*? Are you suggesting I spy on him, Mr. Spacely?
Mr. Spacely: Either that or you're fired.
George Jetson: Spying isn't a bad suggestion when you put it that way, sir.
Mr. Spacely: Good.
[to R.U.D.I]
Mr. Spacely: Now you can sympathize with him, nosy.
[he leaves]