Janine Melnitz
Top Links
main detailsbiographyby votesphoto galleryquotes
by yearby typeby ratingsby votesby TV seriesby genreby keyword
Did You Know?
photo galleryquotes

Quotes for
Janine Melnitz (Character)
from Ghostbusters (1984)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
Ghostbusters (1984)
[business is terrible at Ghostbusters]
Janine Melnitz: [answers the phone] Hello, Ghostbusters... Yes, of course they're serious... You do?... You have?... No kidding! Just gimme the address... Oh sure, they will be totally discreet. Thank you!
[hangs up]
Janine Melnitz: WE GOT ONE!

Janine Melnitz: You're very handy, I can tell. I bet you like to read a lot, too.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Print is dead.
Janine Melnitz: Oh, that's very fascinating to me. I read a lot myself. Some people think I'm too intellectual but I think it's a fabulous way to spend your spare time. I also play raquetball. Do you have any hobbies?
Dr. Egon Spengler: I collect spores, molds, and fungus.

Janine Melnitz: Do you believe in UFOs, astral projections, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trance mediums, the Loch Ness monster and the theory of Atlantis?
Winston Zeddemore: Ah, if there's a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you say.

Janine Melnitz: Do you want some coffee, Mr. Tulley?
Louis: [to Egon] Do I?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Yes, have some.
Louis: [to Janine] Yes, have some.

Janine Melnitz: I've quit better jobs than this.
[answers phone]
Janine Melnitz: Ghostbusters, what do you want?

[Janine opens the front door and sees a policeman]
Janine Melnitz: Dropping off or picking up?

Janine Melnitz: You are so kind to take care of that man. You know, you're a real humanitarian.
Dr. Egon Spengler: I don't think he's human.

[the Ghostbusters HQ blows up]
Louis: This is it! This is the sign!
Janine Melnitz: Yeah, it's a sign, all right - "Going out of business".

Janine Melnitz: [on the phone] Is it just a mist, or does it have arms and legs?

Dr. Peter Venkman: Janine, any calls?
Janine Melnitz: No.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Any messages?
Janine Melnitz: No.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Any customers?
Janine Melnitz: No, Dr. Venkman.
Dr. Peter Venkman: It's a good job, huh?
[she smiles]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Type something, will you? We're paying for this stuff! And don't stare at me, you got the bug-eyes.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Janine, sorry about the bug-eyes thing. I'll be in my office.

Janine Melnitz: [Coming in as Egon was running tests on Louis who is possessed by Vince Clorthow] Egon, I tried to stop them they say they have a warrant.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Excuse me, this is private property.
Walter Peck: [after observing the storage facility] Shut this off, shut these all off.
Dr. Egon Spengler: I'm warning you. Turning off these machines would be extremely hazardous.
Walter Peck: No, I'll tell "you" what's hazardous, you're facing Federal prosecution for about a half dozen environmental violations. Now either you shut off these machines, or we'll shut them off for you.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Try to understand, this a high voltage laser containment system. Simply turning it off would be like dropping a bomb on the city.
Walter Peck: Don't patronize me, I'm not grotesquely stupid, like the people you've bilked!
Dr. Peter Venkman: [arriving, to the officer] At ease officer, I'm Peter Venkman, I'm a partner in this facility and I'm going to cooperate in any way that I can.
Walter Peck: Forget it, Venkman. You had your chance to cooperate, but you though it would be more fun to insult me. Well, now it's my turn, wiseass.
Dr. Egon Spengler: He wants to shut down the protection grid, Peter.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [to Walter Peck] You shut that thing down, and "we" are not gonna be held responsible for whatever happens.
Walter Peck: Oh yes you will, I'll make sure you will.
Dr. Peter Venkman: No, we won't be.
Walter Peck: [to the electrician] Shut it off.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [to the electrician] Don't shut it off. I'm warning ya.
Con Edison Man: I, I never seen anything like this before. I'm not sure...
Walter Peck: [Interrupting] I'm not interested in your opinion, just shut it off.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [Gets in electrician's way] My friend, don't be a jerk.
Police Sergeant: [Gets in Peter's way] Step aside.
Walter Peck: If he does that again, you can shoot him.
Police Sergeant: You do 'your" job, pencilneck. Don't tell me how to do mine.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Thank you, officer.
Walter Peck: [aggravatingly shouting] Shut it off!

Dr. Peter Venkman: Janine, any messages?
Janine Melnitz: No.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Any calls?
Janine Melnitz: No.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [Desperate] Any customers?
Janine Melnitz: No, Dr. Venkman.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Good job, isn't it? Type something will ya, we're paying for this stuff,
[Walks off]
Dr. Peter Venkman: and don't stare at me you got the *bug eyes*. Janine, sorry about the bug eyes thing I'll be in my office.

Janine Melnitz: I've seen TV, I know you can't come in here without a warrant or writ or something!
Walter Peck: [holding up papers] Cease and desist all commerce order, seizure of premises and chattels, ban on use of public utilities for unauthorized waste handlers, and a federal entry and inspection order.
[pushes past her]

Ghostbusters (2009) (VG)
Janine Melnitz: Our boss called and he...
Dr. Egon Spengler: [Interrupting] Not our boss, just Peck, please.
Janine Melnitz: Peck called and he said if you fire off another unauthorized stream, he's gonna shut you down.

Janine Melnitz: [Answering the phone] Ghostbusters.
Janine Melnitz: No, we do not reccomend that you attempt to perform a level 5 peruvian exorcism on yourself.
[another pause]
Janine Melnitz: But after you'd tied yourself up, it would be extremely difficult to do that to the cat, even if you could catch it.

Janine Melnitz: [Booking a Ghostbusters appointment with a customer on the phone] ... Okay, I've booked you in for Thursday.
Janine Melnitz: Oh it won't be nessisary to call you before they arrive; you'll know. Believe me, you'll know!

Janine Melnitz: [Phone Rings] Hello, Ghostbusters.
Janine Melnitz: No, we do not summon the ghosts of dead relatives and then capture them so you can ask them the combination to the safe.
[another pause]
Janine Melnitz: Yeah, well same to you pal!

Janine Melnitz: [Answering the phone] Hello, Ghostbusters.
Janine Melnitz: Yes.
Janine Melnitz: I don't think so.
Janine Melnitz: No. It didn't just stop working and it doesn't just need toner! It literally exploded... after it screamed obscenities at me.
[long pause]
Janine Melnitz: No, I don't think the nature of our business has anything at all to do with whether or not you honor your product's warranty.

Ghostbusters II (1989)
Janine Melnitz: So, do you live alone?
Louis Tully: I used to have a roommate, but my mom moved to Florida.

Janine Melnitz: It is really a very nice place. Needs a woman's touch.
Louis Tully: [closing the door to Oscar's room] Shh. Bed time.
Janine Melnitz: You are so great with kids.
Louis Tully: Oh, thanks, I practiced with my hamster.
Janine Melnitz: [holding what it looks like a crystal ball in her hands] So, you live alone?
Louis Tully: I used to have a roommate, but my mom moved to Florida.
Janine Melnitz: Why don't you come here and sit with me.
Louis Tully: Okay.
[he moves to the couch Janine is sitting]
Louis Tully: So, you want to play Boggle or Super Mario Bros.?
Janine Melnitz: No. I think motherhood is a very natural instinct.

[at Dana's apartment, Louis and Janine watch on TV the movie "The Lady from Shanghai"]
Janine Melnitz: Is, like, she the killer or what?
Louis Tully: No. That's Rita Hayworth. She was married to Citizen Kane while they were doing this thing. Then right after they finished, she dumped him for some polo player. I don't why beautiful girls love horses so much. Do you love horses?

"Extreme Ghostbusters: Darkness at Noon: Part 1 (#1.1)" (1997)
Roland Jackson: [Roland picks up a device] What's this do?
Dr. Egon Spengler: That's a spectral proto capacitator. It would be known in laymans terms as...
Kylie: [Kylie grabs the device from Roland] ... a ghost beacon.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Correct. By emitting an ultra parasonic frequency, it allows the user to summon a ghost.
Eduardo: Now there's a party waiting to happen.
Dr. Egon Spengler: [Kylie activates the ghost beacon and Egon stops her disactivating it] Um, we don't want any accidents, now.
Janine Melnitz: [coughing] All this equipment and you still don't own a vacuum.
Garrett Miller: [Slimer eats Garrett's candy bar] Speaking of vacumms...

Eduardo: What's up with that weird chick Kylie? She's such a big fan of this ghost stuff so where is she?
Garrett Miller: I think somebody has a deva-vampira.
Eduardo: Oh, yeah right. Scrawny girls who talk to ghoulies really float my boat.
Janine Melnitz: [Janine walks in] Oh, dear. Egon hasn't shown up, has he?
Garrett Miller: No.
Roland Jackson: Haven't seen him.
Eduardo: Maybe he's dead.
Janine Melnitz: He went off by himself last night... to do some ghostbusting.
Garrett Miller: That old geezer? He can bust a gut!
Janine Melnitz: That 'old geezer' has saved this city I don't know how many times.
Garrett Miller: Bite my head off, why don't ya.
Janine Melnitz: It's just that he's let himself go out of shape.
Roland Jackson: Maybe we outta check out the firehouse.

"The Real Ghostbusters: Venkman's Ghost Repellers (#2.27)" (1987)
Janine Melnitz: I think it's sweet, it'll make it more of a family business.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Sweet enough to get us all arrested, that's fraud, Peter.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I know! His whole life he's made a living off selling things that don't exist!

"Extreme Ghostbusters: Back in the Saddle: Part 2 (#1.38)" (1997)
Dr. Egon Spengler: I theorize that this entity will keep on ingesting matter until it's size and density achieves critical mass. And then...
Peter Venkman: Yeah, don't tell me. It will let out one colossal burp.
Dr. Egon Spengler: It will most likely become quasi-gravitational.
Ray Stantz: Like a black hole in space. Instead of moving towards matter, all matter will be drawn to 'it'.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Exactly, Ray. It will, in essence, devour everything there is; starting with New York City, then the eastern seaboard, and eventually...
Janine Melnitz: [intercom] Speaking of eating, quick question. Does anybody want yams instead of mashed potatoes?

"The Real Ghostbusters: Moaning Stones (#2.39)" (1987)
Dr. Egon Spengler: It's no good. We need something even more disharmonic - something with no coherence - not the slightest...
Janine Melnitz: Where are we going to find something like -?
Winston Zeddemore: Peter, old buddy. You still have that tape with you, don't you?
Dr. Peter Venkman: You can't be serious! You can't be talking about my -? Oh no!
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Oh yes!

"The Real Ghostbusters: Knock, Knock (#2.40)" (1987)
Janine Melnitz: [Slimer's eaten everything in the house] I tried to stop him, I really did. You don't need a receptionist, you need a babysitter, a whole platoon of them!

"Extreme Ghostbusters: The Crawler (#1.11)" (1997)
Kylie Griffin: There's a part of Janine still in there. Let Janine know your true feelings. Go on. You know what I mean.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Um, right.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Janine! It's me! Egon!
Janine Melnitz: Egon...
Dr. Egon Spengler: You must come back! We'll never find another office manager like you!
Kylie Griffin: No, no! Tell her you love her!
Dr. Egon Spengler: Is that appropriate?
Kylie Griffin: Do it!
Janine Melnitz: Janine, I... love you.
Kylie Griffin: You wanna press your lips to hers.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Um... I want... to press my lips... to yours.

"The Real Ghostbusters: Xmas Marks the Spot (#1.13)" (1986)
Janine Melnitz: I want you to know I'm only doing this because of you, and not for C... C... C...
Dr. Egon Spengler: Christmas.
Janine Melnitz: Bah humbug!
Slimer: Yah! Humbug!

"The Real Ghostbusters: The Spirit of Aunt Lois (#2.41)" (1987)
Janine Melnitz: [Peter's aiming his particle thrower at Slimer, who has taken cover behind Janine] Dr. Venkman, don't you dare! There's nothing in my job description about target practice!
Dr. Egon Spengler: [coming in] Peter, stop! This is irrational!
Dr. Peter Venkman: No, Egon, finding the refrigerator empty is irrational. Slime in my shoes is irrational. This will be fun.

"The Real Ghostbusters: Cold Cash and Hot Water (#2.19)" (1987)
[watching the crowd fleeing Madison Square Gardens]
Cabbie: So what do you think we should do?
Janine Melnitz: Can you call in an air strike?

"Extreme Ghostbusters: Eyes of a Dragon (#1.28)" (1997)
Eduardo Rivera: It's a particle.
Kylie Griffin: It's a wave.
Eduardo Rivera: Particle.
Kylie Griffin: Wave.
Eduardo Rivera: The cute little light particles bounce like tiny tennis balls on reflective surfaces. And when the surface ain't flat, they get seriously messed up.
Kylie Griffin: Look, brainiac. Light passes through the glass and gets bent on different bandwidths creating different colors. Can tennis balls do that? Not particles. Waves.
Garrett Miller: Ahh, I recognize that fragrance. Physics 101.
Roland Jackson: Actually, you're both right. Planck's quantum theory stipulates that waves of light sometimes act like particles. While Heisenbergs's uncertainly principle postulates that particles of light or photons display wave-like patterns.
Garrett Miller: Shooting spitballs at boulders, Roland my friend. Never gonna penetrate.
Eduardo Rivera: Yeah, like you get it.
Garrett Miller: Of course, I do. Planck's quantum theory, um... st... stipulates... um... what he said.
Roland Jackson: Look, guys. It's simple. Light is 'both' a particle 'and' a wave.
Janine Melnitz: It's like that stuff that's both a gum and a candy.
[phone rings]
Janine Melnitz: Ghostbusters, now offering physics tutoring at reasonable rates. Suit up, guys.

"Extreme Ghostbusters: Moby Ghost (#1.26)" (1997)
Garrett Miller: What's the matter, Rolster? You look like your gold petfish died.
Roland Jackson: My electronic planner. I can't find it.
Eduardo Rivera: I think I saw it on the kitchen table.
Roland Jackson: That's my digital writing pad.
[Roland reaches under couch where Eduardo's sitting]
Kylie Griffin: Did it ever occur to you that maybe you're a little over-reliant on gadgets and technology?
Roland Jackson: I'm not over-relying on anything. They're just tools to help me organize my life.
Eduardo Rivera: Yeah, well if they were, you would know where your electronic planner is.
Roland Jackson: Very funny.
Garrett Miller: Rolster, you're such a technofreak. You wouldn't last two days on Gilligan's Island.
Roland Jackson: Sure I would. I uplink the modem on my laptop to remote radio bandwidth then I signal an S.O.S. to the passing ship.
Eduardo Rivera: ...okay?
Janine Melnitz: Roland, were you looking for this?
[Janine reveals Roland's electronic planner]
Roland Jackson: Yes! Thank you. Where was it?
Janine Melnitz: Slimer had it. He was trying to make a meal of your screensaver.
Slimer: Sorry.

"The Real Ghostbusters: Slimer, Come Home (#1.4)" (1986)
Dr. Peter Venkman: Slimer would never run away, he's got it too good here.
Janine Melnitz: Oh no?
[reads the note Slimer left]
Janine Melnitz: No one likes me. I'm always doing bad things. I try but I just can't help myself. So it's better if I leave. Goodbye forever, Slimer.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Can I see that?
[takes the note]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: You can read this?
Janine Melnitz: I'm a secretary, I can read anything.

"The Real Ghostbusters: Citizen Ghost (#1.11)" (1986)
Cynthia Crawford: You must be Janine Melnitz.
Janine Melnitz: Well, if I must, I must, though I'd much rather be Meryl Streep, of course wouldn't we all?