Fred Flintstone
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Quotes for
Fred Flintstone (Character)
from "The Flintstones" (1960)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
The Flintstones (1994)
[repeated line]
Fred Flintstone: Yabba dabba doo!

Barney Rubble: You're afraid to tell Wilma, aren't you?
Fred Flintstone: [skids the car to an abrupt halt] Afraid? Now let's get this straight, Rubble, I don't need permission from my wife to make a decision. In my cave, I reign supreme, *su-PREME*!
Barney Rubble: I won't tell her, Fred.
Fred Flintstone: [relieved] Thanks, pal.

Fred Flintstone: I'm only one man.
Barney Rubble: Not from the back.

Fred Flintstone: I just want my old job back and my old life.
Barney Rubble: Hey, Fred.
[waves Fred over and whispers in his ear]
Fred Flintstone: Oh, and two weeks paid vacation for all the men in the quarry, an annual cost-of-living increase, and those little packets of ketchup in the lunch room.

Wilma: I cannot believe you just sat there and let them walk out on us.
Fred Flintstone: At least I can walk around the house in my underwear again.
Wilma: And that is more important to you than 20 years of friendship?
Fred Flintstone: It is on a hot day.

Cliff Vandercave: Do you know what we do up here?
Fred Flintstone: Well, me and the guys have always wondered.
Cliff Vandercave: We interface, Flintstone. We conceptualize, tenderize, prioritize.
Fred Flintstone: When do we eat?

Cliff Vandercave: I want you to fire Bernard Rubble.
Fred Flintstone: Done! Wait, fire Barney, why?
Cliff Vandercave: Well, he scored the lowest on the company aptitude test. He's an imbecile. The company can't afford to have dead weight like him on the payroll.
Fred Flintstone: But Mr. Vandercave, he's got a new kid, a mortgage, I'm his best friend, I can't.
Cliff Vandercave: Look, Fred, if you don't fire him, I will, and then I'll fire you.

Sharon Stone: Can I get you anything? Coffee?
Fred Flintstone: Sure.
Sharon Stone: [seductively] How would you like it?
Fred Flintstone: In a cup?
Sharon Stone: Bold choice, Mr. Flintstone! You'll go far in this company.

Fred Flintstone: Barney Rubble has been my neighbor, my lodge brother and my best friend since the first time I went through the fifth grade.

[Dino grabs one of the steaks off the grill and runs away]
Fred Flintstone: Hey, Barn, you like your steak rare?
Barney Rubble: Yeah.
Fred Flintstone: That one's yours.
[Barney chases Dino]

Barney Rubble: It's like a dream come true. A son. Somebody to carry on the proud name of Rubble. Think I'll be a good daddy, Fred?
Fred Flintstone: Well, you're bound to find something you're good at.
Barney Rubble: Yeah sure, but...
Barney Rubble: [realizes what he said] Hey!

Pearl Slaghoople: Somebody has to look after my daughter and grandchild, while you're out carousing with a bunch of Neanderthals.
Fred Flintstone: Oh, really? Well, for your information, the lodge no longer accepts Neanderthals.
Pearl Slaghoople: He robs your nest egg to bail out that little troll next door, while my daughter has to wash her clothes in the river.
Fred Flintstone: I've got half a mind...!
Pearl Slaghoople: Oh, don't flatter yourself!

Mrs. Pyrite: Mr. and Mrs. Rubble, this is your little boy.
[Presents Bamm-Bamm]
Betty Rubble: Oh, Barney, isn't he precious?
Fred Flintstone: [aside to Wilma] Precious? They'd have been better off with the monkey.
Wilma Flintstone: Fred!
Betty Rubble: Does he have a name?
Mrs. Pyrite: Bamm-Bamm.
Barney Rubble: Is that short for something?
Mrs. Pyrite: Bamm-Bamm-Bamm. You're going to have to take it slowly with this one. He doesn't speak yet and is a little skittish around humans, but, then again, I would be too if I'd been raised by wild Mastadons. Ha ha ha.
Betty Rubble, Barney Rubble: Mastadons?
Mrs. Pyrite: Let's not nitpick! A mammal's a mammal.

Fred Flintstone: Sorry I'm late. Had car trouble, I picked up a nail.
[Shows everyone a bandaid on his dirty foot]
Mr. Slate: Thank you for sharing that with us, Mr. Flagstone. May we continue?

Fred Flintstone: [Holding a miniature model of houses the quarry plans to build] I hate to bust your bubble, but if you build houses this small, who's gonna live in them?

Wilma Flintstone: We have scrimped and saved for that money, and every time we get a little bit ahead, you have to go blow it on some hair-brained scheme!
Fred Flintstone: Now see here, Wilma! In this cave, I am the king! And...
Wilma Flintstone: And what, Fred?
Fred Flintstone: And you have every right to know, my queen.

Fred Flintstone: We'll make new friends, there's 4,000 other people in this world!

[after Cliff has announced that Fred had won the executive job]
Fred Flintstone: Barney, quick, what's my name?
Barney Rubble: Fred Flintstone!
Fred Flintstone: Don't toy with me, Barn.

Barney Rubble: So, Fred, what am I gonna call you now? Boss? Chief?
Fred Flintstone: No, simply Your Highness will do.

Fred Flintstone: Miss Stone, I'd like you to meet my wife, Mrs. Flagstone, and our daughter... uh... uh... isn't she beautiful? My family.

Fred Flintstone: This is my office? This is my chair?
Cliff Vandercave: Yeah, not to throw too much at you on your first day, but this big thing here is your desk.
Fred Flintstone: My desk?

Barney Rubble: Tell me something, Mr. Vice President, what's a graduated inventory plan? How about supply and demand? Hey Fred, what's two and two?
Fred Flintstone: ...I didn't come here to talk business. I'm out with my wife. Now get me a clean spoon.

Fred Flintstone: Take a memo. Cliff, let's play golf. We can prioritize, conceptualize and tenderize. Executively yours, Fred Fliiii -
[falls backwards out of his chair]
Dictabird: Are there six or seven I's in 'Fliiii - '?

Barney Rubble: [On Fred's first day of being a VP] Well, guess this is it, Mr. Flintstone. Go get 'em, big guy.
Fred Flintstone: Hey, Barn.
Barney Rubble: Yeah, Fred?
Fred Flintstone: Could you spot me a couple bucks for lunch? I'm a little short.
Barney Rubble: You're right, Fred. Nothing's changed.

Fred Flintstone: Well, I'm not going to jail, but it won't be easy finding a new job. What kind of reference is Mr. Slate gonna give me after I destroyed his quarry.
Betty Rubble: Aw, none of this was your fault, Fred. I'm sure Mr. Slate will understand.
Mr. Slate: [screams] FLINTSTONE!
Fred Flintstone: Sure, now he gets my name right.

Wilma: [when Barney and Betty are waiting for their adopted child] Fred? And promise me you won't say anything like what you did when you saw my sister's baby.
Fred Flintstone: The kid had a tail? What was I supposed to do? Pretend I didn't notice?

Mr. Slate: How did this happen?
Fred Flintstone: Well, it all started when I lent money to Barney so he could adopt a baby.
Mr. Slate: Not that. How did this happen to Cliff?
[shows Cliff trapped in a hard rough substance]
Fred Flintstone: Well, the machine went haywire and the rocks got crushed up and mixed with the water, and it got onto Cliff. Mr. Slate, I'm sorry.
Mr. Slate: Sorry? I love this stuff! I'm gonna name it after my daughter, Concretia.

Barney Rubble: You know, Fred, I hear that eatin' too much red meat is bad for you.
Fred Flintstone: What a load of bunk! My father ate it every day of his life and he lived to the ripe old age of thirty-eight.

[as Fred and Pearl argue]
Wilma Flintstone: You two should be ashamed of yourselves!
Pearl Slaghoople: I got my hands full just being ashamed of him.
Fred Flintstone: You got your hands full when you scratch your neck!

Fred Flintstone: What can I do? I gotta think of something...
[a thought appears showing Pearl Slaghoople struggling in the mouth of a Brontosaurus, Fred giggles]
Fred Flintstone: Not now.
[the thought disappears and then another thought appears, showing what he did with that model of the machine and then he snaps his fingers]

[last lines]
Fred Flintstone: Wilma? WILMAAAAAA!

[Cliff is on the ground, scrambling to pick up the money Sharon Stone hit him with. Fred walks up and steps on his hand]
Fred Flintstone: Cliff? It's time for you and me to "interface"!
[punches his own hand threateningly]

Barney Rubble: Fred, did you hear what happened to everyone at the quarry today?
Fred Flintstone: Yep! A few hours ago, I sent them all off on a nice, long vacation.
Barney Rubble: You mean a permanent vacation?
[to Wilma and Betty]
Barney Rubble: He fired them!
Wilma: Fred! How could you?
Fred Flintstone: I didn't do that!
Barney Rubble: You did, too! It's all over the TV!
Wilma: Fred!
Fred Flintstone: Wilma, who are you gonna believe? Me or some busboy?
Betty Rubble: That busboy is your best friend!
Fred Flintstone: Best friend? Best friend? I lost my best friend the day I became an executive! He's just jealous of my hard-earned success!
Barney Rubble: Hard-earned? Tell me something, Mr. Vice President, what's a graduated inventory plan, huh? How about supply and demand? Hey, Fred! What's two and two?
Fred Flintstone: I didn't come here to talk business, I'm out with my wife! Now... get me a clean spoon.
Barney Rubble: That does it. The only reason you got that job, is because I switched tests with you.
Betty Rubble: Oh, Barney!
Fred Flintstone: Oh, ho-ho! That's rich! What good would it do me to switch tests with the guy that got the lowest score in the quarry?
Barney Rubble: Think about it, Fred.
Betty Rubble: Oh, finally. It all makes sense.
Wilma: You don't believe this, do you?
Betty Rubble: Are you calling my husband a liar?
Wilma: Now, this has gone far enough. After everything that we've done for you. We took you into our home.
Betty Rubble: Oh, yes? So, you can show off every chance you've got.
[Wilma gasps]
Betty Rubble: You used to be such nice people, but now... you're just a couple of rich snobs! Mmm!
Fred Flintstone: Better than being a couple of petty ingrates.
[Betty gasps]
Betty Rubble: [to Barney] Come on, Barney. We are moving out, tonight!
Barney Rubble: Hang on, Betty... I forgot to punch-out.
[Barney punches Fred in the face]

Fred Flintstone: [the Rubbles have walked out on the Flintstones] They were holding us back, Wilma! We'll make new friends, There are 4,000 people in this world. Who needs the Rubbles?
Wilma: I do... But I'll tell you what I don't need. I don't need... this necklace.
[Wilma rips off her necklace]
Wilma: You know I don't need this lamp.
[Knocks over a lamp which is based on the one from A Christmas Story]
Wilma: And I don't need this television set.
Fred Flintstone: [Frantically] Not the TV!
Wilma: [Wilma pushes the TV breaking it] I don't need this... I don't need this... Oh, I don't think I'll be needing any of this bone of china.
[Wilma throws them at Fred]
Wilma: Because I don't have any friends to invite to dinner! So I don't think I'll need these cups and saucers.
[Throws away the dishes smashing them]
Fred Flintstone: [Missing the point] You'll regret this, Wilma. It's going to take you hours to clean up this mess.

[Hoagie, Joe Rockhead and the crew yelling at the gate, Hoagie notices that Fred in car is coming to the gate]
Hoagie: [yells] There he is!
[Hoagie, Joe Rockhead and the crew comes to Fred in the car]
Hoagie: You're a traitor, Flintstone!
Fred Flintstone: Listen to me, I'm your friend!
Hoagie: You're no friend of ours and you're a rotten bowler too!
[He throws stuff at Fred Flintstone pass the gate and the policeman closes the gate]

Mr. Slate: How did this happen?
Fred Flintstone: Well, Mr. Slate. It all started when the Rubbles here wanted to adopt a baby.
Mr. Slate: Not that!
[he notices that Cliff is concreted gray]
Mr. Slate: How did this happened to Cliff?
Fred Flintstone: Well, you see, Mr. Slate, the machinery went haywire and the rocks got all crushed up and that got mixed in with water and that came all down the hill. Mr. Slate, I'm sorry.
Mr. Slate: Sorry?
[he turns to Cliff is concreted]
Mr. Slate: I love this stuff! I'm gonna name it after my daughter Concretia.


The Flintstones Meet Rockula and Frankenstone (1979) (TV)
Fred Flintstone: [looking over the edge of the balcony] I can't see the bottom with all this mist. Hey Barney, want to jump down and see how far it is?

Fred Flintstone: [watching the monster bash from above on the second floor] You know, Barney, it's a good thing they're supplying the costumes. I wouldn't know what to wear to a monster bash.
Barney Rubble: [laughs] In your case, Fred, a monster bash is a come-as-you-are party.
Fred Flintstone: I'm warning ya, Barn,
[points to the first floor]
Fred Flintstone: that's a 30 foot drop.

Betty Rubble: [Fred thinks Wilma went to Betty and Barney's room] No, Fred, Wilma didn't come in here.
Fred Flintstone: That's funny, she's not in our room.
Barney Rubble: Well if she's not in your room and she's not in our room, where could she be?
Fred Flintstone: I don't know, Barn, she's gotta be somewhere in this creepy hotel.

Fred Flintstone: [dressed as a chickenasaurous] I can feel it in my bones.
Wilma Flintstone: [laughing] Which bones, Fred, your drumsticks or your wing bones?

Rockula: You must be Fred Flintstone!
Fred Flintstone: Wait a minute pal, I'm not Flintstone, I'm the building inspector, that's all.
Rockula: You are who?
Fred Flintstone: The local building inspector.
Rockula: Why would a building inspector be rolling around inside of a barrel?
Fred Flintstone: Well you see, I'm also a local barrel inspector.
Rockula: You inspect buildings and barrels at 3 o' clock in the morning?
Fred Flintstone: Uh yeah well... moonlighting, that's what I'm doing, moonlighting, I have several jobs.
Rockula: Ridiculous! Do you take me for a fool? You are Fred Flintstone! Or should we put it this way, you WERE Fred Flintstone.
Fred Flintstone: I like the first way better.

Fred Flintstone: Why are those goons chasing us?
Wilma Flintstone: Because Rockula wants to make me his bride.
Fred Flintstone: [laughs] He can't marry a woman who's already got a husband.
Wilma Flintstone: He knows that, that's why he wants to make me a widow.
Fred Flintstone: Oh well that's a different story... wait a minute! A widow?

Betty Rubble: Where are we?
Barney Rubble: Looks like the basement.
Fred Flintstone: With those weirdoes running around, maybe Wilma came down here to hide.

Wilma Flintstone: [about the mummy case] It's lucky I hid in here because I discovered something fantastic, look, a secret stairway!
Fred Flintstone: That could lead us out of here!
Barney Rubble: Hey, good idea, while Rocky and Franky are down here looking for us, we'll be upstairs making our escape!
Fred Flintstone: Right, let's go!

Fred Flintstone: Wilma, Betty, quick move away! You're standing on a trap door!
Wilma and Betty: [jump off] Huh?
Barney Rubble: We fell through it before, ZOOM, right down to the secret lab.
Wilma Flintstone: A trap door leading down to the secret lab? How did you get out?
Fred Flintstone: We climbed through this big window we saw down there.
Wilma Flintstone: Uh huh and where did the window lead TO?
Fred Flintstone: Where does any window lead to? It leads to outside, out to the castle grounds. Uh oh, hold on everybody, I got a plan.
Wilma Flintstone: I knew you would, Fred.
Fred Flintstone: Why don't we take the trap door down to the lab and escape from the castle?

[Rockula and Frankenstone, while chasing the Flintstones and Rubbles, stop at some barrels, where their targets are hiding]
Rockula: We must find them! I will search over there, you stay here and check the barrels.
Frankenstone: [as Rockula runs off] Yes, master.
Fred Flintstone: [Imitating Rockula from inside the barrel] Forget about the barrel! Search elsewhere!
Frankenstone: Yes, master.
[Walks off]

Wilma Flintstone: [hears something howling] Sounds like wolves howling out there!
Fred Flintstone: Impossible, Wilma, the guide book says there are no wolves in Rocksylvania.
Igor: Those are verevolves.
Fred Flintstone, Barney Rubble, Betty Rubble, Wilma Flintstone: [imitating his enunciation] Verevolves?

Gladys: Ja?
Fred Flintstone: Hehe, hi there. We're the Flintstones and the Rubbles.
Gladys: You are who?
Barney Rubble: I'll handle this, Fred. Uh, Ma'am, we're the Flintshteins and da Roobuls.


"The Flintstones: Alvin Brickrock Presents (#2.4)" (1961)
Barney Rubble: [looking into Alvin Brickrock's home and finding a dinosaur skeleton] What a gloomy place this is.
[gulps]
Barney Rubble: Your suspicions were correct, Fred, there she is, Agatha Brickrock, with her outside removed.
Fred Flintstone: That's not Agatha, that's a mastadon.
Barney Rubble: A whatsadon?
Fred Flintstone: A big thing with a lumpy body, thick legs, a big nose, flappy ears and tusks.
Barney Rubble: Sounds like Agatha to me.

Fred Flintstone: [playing cards] Barney, what would you do if you were holding the queen alone?
Barney Rubble: I don't know, Fred, it all depends on what time the king gets home.
[laughs]

Arnold: Collect for the paper, Mr. Flintstone.
Fred Flintstone: How much?
Arnold: $1.75.
Fred Flintstone: $1.75 only four weeks newspapers?
Arnold: Four weeks newspapers, and a month's rentals on my comics. Peter Gunnite and the Bald Blonde Caper, and I was a Member of the Mafia for the FBI, and I was a Member of the FBI for the Mafia, and Peter Masonite and the Permanent Wave Murders.
Fred Flintstone: I don't remember that one.
Arnold: Oh sure, the killer throws his victims into a vat of permament wave lotion and they get curled to death.
Fred Flintstone: Oh yeah, yeah, he buries them in snail shells! Go on.
Arnold: And you're 26 cents overdue for my Little Golden Treasury of children's murder mysteries.
Fred Flintstone: Oh well I'm not finished with that yet, here's your money, Arnold.

Wilma Flintstone: I didn't know there was a fight scheduled.
Barney Rubble: Are you kidding? Tonight's for the championship, oooohh it should be a real grudge boat.
Betty Rubble: Heavyweight or lightweight?
Barney Rubble: Both, a heavyweight vs. a lightweight.
Wilma Flintstone: Why're you putting the chairs over there by the window? The TV set's here.
Fred Flintstone: This is not on TV, it's a closed circuit.
Betty Rubble: But who's fighting?
Barney Rubble: The new neighbors, Mr. and Mrs. Brickrock.

Fred Flintstone: I wouldn't miss tonight's fight for anything. Those two have been putting on the greatest fight of the century. Last night's bout was a doozy. Did you hear all that screaming and shrieking and that high voice?
Barney Rubble: Yeah, I thought he'd never stop.
Betty Rubble: That's terrible, you mean that meek little man hits his wife?
Fred Flintstone: No, in the last three rounds he never laid a glove on her, he's strictly a defensive fighter.
Barney Rubble: Yeah, you'd think she'd let him win once in a while to keep his interest.

Wilma Flintstone: It's funny how little you know about your neighbors; what really goes on behind closed doors.
Betty Rubble: We don't even know what business he's in, and they've been living in that big old gloomy house for a whole week.
Fred Flintstone: You never see that Brickrock guy going to work, do you think he's retired?
Barney Rubble: No Fred, the lights are still on.
Fred Flintstone: I mean what kind of work is he out of?
Barney Rubble: Well did you see some of those spooky crates and boxes?
Fred Flintstone: What do you mean spooky? What's spooky about crates and boxes?
Barney Rubble: Shaped like coffins?

Fred Flintstone: [reading] He was a midget in the big house, see? And he tried to escape by wiggling through a mouse hole after lights out, but he outsmarted himself, see? Cuz it wasn't a mouse hole, it was a light socket, and somebody turned the lights on.

Fred Flintstone: Hmmm, here's the crook of the month. Fifteen thousand reward for information leading to apprehension of Albert Bonehart, wanted for questioning in disappearance of three former wives. Bonehart's fourth wife was last seen in a little railroad station in a valise, a ladies hatbox, and an executive's briefcase. Well, that's one way to send your wife to the country.

Fred Flintstone: [at Barney's window] Psst, hey Barney, Barney!
Barney Rubble: Hey Fred, what're you doing in the middle of my begonias in the middle of the night?

Fred Flintstone: Don't you see? Our neighbor Alvin Brickrock, he borrowed my shovel! He could be a vicious monster! A diabolocal fiend!
Barney Rubble: Well Fred, you haven't returned my lawn mower and I don't feel that way about you.


The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (2000)
Fred Flintstone: Your eyes are like two big blue eyes.

Fred Flintstone: Hey, was that an insult?
Gazoo: Well, if the shoe fits...
Barney Rubble: What's a shoe?
Gazoo: Than I guess it *was* an insult.

Fred Flintstone: My name is Fred Flintstone. F-L-I-N...
Barney Rubble: T
Fred Flintstone: Stone

Barney Rubble: [defending Fred to everyone after he's been accused of robbery] Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute! You're all making a big mistake. Fred couldn't have stolen that necklace. It was locked up in a safe... Fred can't even remember the combination to his bowling locker. Look, he's gotta write it down on his hand, see?
[lifts Fred's hand up in the air where the combination is written]
Fred Flintstone: [jerks away] Aw, great. Now, everybody's seen it.
Barney Rubble: Huh. Crack a safe? He couldn't even crack his knuckles without my help.
[laughs]
Chip Rockefeller: Thank you, Mr. Rubble, for confessing to being Mr. Flintstone's accomplice.
Barney Rubble: You're welcome.
[pauses and realizes]
Barney Rubble: What?
Chip Rockefeller: Take them both away!
[the officers takes Fred and Barney to jail, Everybody cheers]

Chip Rockefeller: Ladies and gentlemen! Ladies and gentlemen, I regret to inform you that there is a criminal in our midst...
[Everybody gasps]
Chip Rockefeller: But, before I expose him into the public. I'd like to give him a chance to step forward that admit his wrong doing only to take his first tiny step towards absolution.
Towel Confessor: [sobs] I stole all the towels in my room!
Chip Rockefeller: Well, that is illegal! But, still...
Underwear Confessor: I'm wearing someone else's underwear!
[Everybody gasps and groans]
Chip Rockefeller: No! I was talking about a...
Dinosaur Confessor: I'm systematically poisoning the dinosaurs water supply! In a matter of decades, their entire species will be extinct!
[Everybody laughs]
Chip Rockefeller: All right! This is obviously going nowhere. No, I was talking about a necklace. A very valuable necklace has been stolen from our hotel safe. A necklace belonging to my dear... dear friend, Wilma Slaghoople.
Wilma Slaghoople: My pearls?
Betty O'Shale: Wilma!
Fred Flintstone: All right, who did it? So, help me. If you don't step forward right now, I'll personally punch you in the...
Chip Rockefeller: I don't think violence would be necessary, Flintstone. Because, I know exactly, who stole Wilma's pearls... A desperate man drowning and gambling debts.
Fred Flintstone: Low-life!
Dinosaur Confessor: Hey! Doesn't anybody care about this whole dinosaurs becoming extinct thing?
Chip Rockefeller, Wilma Slaghoople, Betty O'Shale, Fred Flintstone, Barney Rubble, Mick Jagged, Roxie: NO!
[Dinosaur Confessor walks away]

Fred Flintstone: Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

Fred Flintstone: Yabba-Dabba-Dough!


A Flintstones Christmas Carol (1994) (TV)
[Pebbles cries]
Wilma Flintstone: Well, Scrooge, it sounds like your daughter needs her diaper changed.
Fred Flintstone: Er, sorry, Wilma. I have to rehearse. "Christmas, bah humbug!"
Wilma Flintstone: There's such a thing as being too well-rehearsed.

Fred Flintstone: [rehearsing for play] "Christmas, bah humbug!" "Christmas, BAH humbug!"
Wilma Flintstone: [Pebbles groans] Pebbles, don't be so hard on Daddy. He's trying.
[to the camera]
Wilma Flintstone: Very trying.

Fred Flintstone: I've been preparing for this part day and night. It's the only thing I've thought about for the past two months.
[leaves]
Pebbles: Kiss Dada, hug Dada?
Maggie Magma: So I've noticed.
Fred Flintstone: [driving away] Christmas, bah humbug.

Fred Flintstone: Cratchet, are you trying to get fired? Get back to those ledgers.
Barney Rubble, Dino: Yes, sir, I mean no, sir, sorry, sir.

Barney Rubble, Dino: There's more to life than just acting, you know.
Fred Flintstone: Not to an actor.
Barney Rubble, Dino: Yeah, well, in case you haven't noticed, tomorrow's Christmas, I've got to go home and wrap presents.

Fred Flintstone: Any more of those dresses?
Saleswoman: Oh, sorry, we're all sold out, you should've shopped earlier.
Fred Flintstone: [grabs a mannequin wearing the dress] I'll take this one.
Saleswoman: The necklace has to come with it, you know.
Fred Flintstone: I'll take that too, it's not REAL sabertooth is it?
Saleswoman: Of course not, they're an endangered species.

Mr. Slate: See? I'm no Scrooge.
Fred Flintstone: No, I am.


The Man Called Flintstone (1966)
Green Goose: [as Triple X disguised as an Italian waiter] Hows about-a dis-a bottle, senor?
Fred Flintstone: Yeah, sure that bottle'll be fine.
Green Goose: Did you read the label senor?
Fred Flintstone: "Follow me X X X" Never heard of that brand.
Green Goose: No, no, it says "Follow me Triple X."

Barney Rubble: Well, that's what always happens to guys who want to take over the world.
Fred Flintstone: Yeah, they end up out of it.

Green Goose: Slag, you're super human. I've never met anyone like you. Zounds! How much pain can a man stand?
Fred Flintstone: All you can dish out and more.

Fred Flintstone: It's too dangerous. I have a family to think about. Pebble's future...
Chief Mountmore: If we don't stop the Green Goose, Pebbles won't have a future!

Fred Flintstone: Hey, that's funny Triple X. The Green Goose was wearing a mask like this!
Green Goose: He was? What a very clever disguise, don't you think? Now may I have it back, please?

[last lines]
[Fred runs away from Tanya]
Wilma Flintstone: Looks like Fred won't be forgettting his vacation in a hurry...
Fred Flintstone: WILMA!


The Flintstones' New Neighbors (1980) (TV)
Fred Flintstone: Honest, Wilma, vultures and bats, and a dark rain cloud over the roof. They HAD to be taking it to the city dump.
Wilma Flintstone: Vultures and bats? Who'd want to live in a creepy house like that?
Fred Flintstone: I don't know, well whoever they are, I wouldn't want to know them.
Barney Rubble: [knocking] Hey Fred, open up!
Betty Rubble: [Fred opens the door] Wilma, you poor dear, I'm so sorry.
Wilma Flintstone: About what?
Fred Flintstone: Yeah, what do you mean?
Barney Rubble: Oh bad news, Fred, look out the window.
[Fred and Wilma look out the window]
Wilma Flintstone: Fred!
Fred Flintstone: No! Tell me it isn't true!
Wilma Flintstone: [the spooky house is next door to them] That looks like the creepy house you were telling me about!
Fred Flintstone: They must've bought the lot next door!

Barney Rubble: Looks like somebody's moving a house, sheesh what a spooky looking place.
Fred Flintstone: Where do you suppose they're moving it to, the city dump?
Barney Rubble: [thunder crashes, lightning strikes and a vulture laughs] Wow! Did you see that?
Fred Flintstone: [comes back up from hiding] How would you like to have that living next door to you?
Barney Rubble: There goes the neighborhood.

Fred Flintstone: [a long green hairy hand with claws puts out a milk bottle and shuts the door] What the heck was that?
Barney Rubble: Looks like a milk bottle with a note in it.
Fred Flintstone: I know that! I mean the hand, the giant hairy hand!
Betty Rubble: Look! There it is again!
Barney Rubble: Yeah and it's pulling in the clothesline.
Wilma Flintstone: A shirt with 4 sleeves? I don't believe it.
Betty Rubble: Would you believe a 2 neck sweater?
Barney Rubble: Or a pair of pants with 4 legs?

Wilma Flintstone: We're Wilma, Fred, and Pebbles.
Hidea Frankenstone: [shakes Fred's hand] So nice to meet you, Pebbles.
Fred Flintstone: [points to Pebbles] That's Pebbles.
Hidea Frankenstone: Oh I'm so sorry, please forgive me, Wilma.
Fred Flintstone: [points to Wilma] SHE'S Wilma!
Hidea Frankenstone: Goodness, I'm so terrible with names.

Frank Frankenstone: [Stubby comes up from the basement] And this is our youngest, Stubby.
Hidea Frankenstone: Stubby, say hello to Mrs. Flintstone.
Stubby Frankenstone: Hello.
Wilma Flintstone: Hello Stubby, what're you doing with that shovel?
Stubby Frankenstone: Digging graves in the cellar.
Fred Flintstone: Huh? D-digging graves in the ce-cellar?
Hidea Frankenstone: [laughs] It keeps him in the house you know.

Wilma Flintstone: Who bought the lot next door?
Fred Flintstone: Who? The creeps that live in a creepy house like that, that's who.
Barney Rubble: Aw, cheer up, Fred. It could've been worse.
Fred Flintstone: How? What do you mean?
Barney Rubble: They could've moved next door to *me*.
[he laughs]


The Flintstones & WWE: Stone Age Smackdown (2015) (V)
[from trailer]
Fred Flintstone: Let's yabba dabba do this!

[from trailer]
Fred Flintstone: We can put on another one of those crazy matches, and Judge wants to come and see it.
Barney Rubble: I pay harder and clams to see that.
Fred Flintstone: The main event is gonna be a rematch between you, and CM Punkrock.
Barney Rubble: What?
CM Punkrock: I am the best in the prehistoric world!

[from trailer]
Vince McMagma: Flintstone, you've got yourself something real special here.
Fred Flintstone: Thanks, Mr. McMagma.
Vince McMagma: I felt like I can make a lot of clams for the spectacle like that.

[from trailer]
Fred Flintstone: There's nothing to worry about, sweetheart.
Wilma Flintstone: When Fred says "don't worry", I start worrying.
Pebbles Flintstones: Yep.

[from trailer]
Fred Flintstone: Yabba dabba do!


"The Flintstones: The Prowler (#1.14)" (1960)
Betty Rubble: [after using judo on Fred] Help Barney! Call the police!
Fred Flintstone: [to the audience] She needs the police?

Barney Rubble: At least I don't have to hide under the bed if the prowler shows up!
Fred Flintstone: Who said I did?
Barney Rubble: Wilma told Betty.
Fred Flintstone: She heard a noise and tried to get under the bed.
Barney Rubble: And she couldn't. You were there first.
Fred Flintstone: All right funny man, I'll prove to you you're wasting your money. Tonight, after you go to sleep, I'll sneak in dressed as a prowler. Then what'll you think your wife will do.
Barney Rubble: She'll say 'hello Fred. Why steal it. Just borrow it as usual'.

Wilma Flintstone: If Fred still wants to play prowler, I'll go along with the gag. Might as well play it to the hilt.
[screams and unnerves the prowler]
Fred Flintstone: [outside] If it is, I better notify his next of kin.

The Prowler: [through the window] Hey buster. Call the cops!
[Wilma drags him in and throws him around the house again]
Fred Flintstone: Now ain't that a kick in the head!


A Flintstone Christmas (1977) (TV)
Barney Rubble: [drops a coin in the collection pot] Ho ho ho, and a Merry Christmas my good man.
Salvation Army Santa: Ho ho ho, and a Merry Christmas to you.
Fred Flintstone: A few more of those ho ho hos and you'll be bro-o-oke for Christmas.
Barney Rubble: Well I just can't say no to Santa Claus.
Fred Flintstone: You know those guys in the red suits aren't the real Santa Claus.
Barney Rubble: I wouldn't say that Fred, he's here, he's there, he's everywhere.

Betty Rubble: [seeing the tree that Fred's stuck on] Oh it is a beautiful tree!
Barney Rubble: [laughs] Especially that fat little ornament.
Fred Flintstone: Very funny, Barney, now get me down.
Barney Rubble: Okay Fred, okay, but don't forget your Christmas spirit.
Fred Flintstone: Oh sure, ho ho ho.

Barney Rubble: [Fred hangs up an ornament] I wouldn't hang it there, Fred.
Fred Flintstone: 'I wouldn't hang it there, Fred', why not?
[tree starts to fall]
Barney Rubble: Don't look now but here comes the 'why not?'
[tree falls on Fred]
Barney Rubble: Quick thinking, Fred, you broke the tree's fall.
Fred Flintstone: Barney, get me out of here!

Fred Flintstone: On Jumper, on uh Blunder, on uh Bouncer, on Thunder...
Barney Rubble: Uh Fred, it's on Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer and Vixen, now Comet, now Cupid, now Donner, now Blitzen.


"The Flintstones: No Help Wanted (#1.4)" (1960)
Fred Flintstone: [after discovering Barney has walked away with the TV set] Are you nuts?
Barney Rubble: But Fred, you told me to be ruthless.
Fred Flintstone: Ruthless? You put that set back or you'll be toothless!

Barney Rubble: [Hiding in the TV set] Are you having trouble sleeping at night? It might be because you're a deadbeat. Pay off those annoying TV bills with one big payment, and get a good night's sleep.
Fred Flintstone: [Picks up TV set and starts shaking it] Rubble, I'll get you out of there even if I have to wreck the set!

Fred Flintstone: [Learns that Barney has been asked to repossess his golf clubs] You touch one club, and I'll mash your head in with a mashie!

Fred Flintstone: Your only friend is a buck and the more bucks you got the more friends you got.


"The Flintstones: Fred Goes Ape (#6.16)" (1966)
Fred Flintstone: I'm going down to the drugstore to pick up some of that Scram.
Barney Rubble: It's kind of late, Fred; maybe we should go in the morning.
[Fred sneezes, knocking Barney into the wall]
Barney Rubble: OK, Fred. I can take a hint. We'll go now.

Fred Flintstone: [Fred & Barney pull up in front of the drugstore] Here we are, Bar...
[Fred sneezes, moving the car backwards]
Barney Rubble: You know, Fred, if we could harness the power in those sneezes, we could forget about paying the electric bill.
Fred Flintstone: Never mind the wisecracks, I need that Scram.

Barney Rubble: [Points to a display table] Look, Fred, enough Scram for an army. Or at least an army of sneezes.
Fred Flintstone: You wouldn't think it was so funny if it happened to...
[Fred sneezes, knocking over the display table]
Barney Rubble: Uh-oh, Fred. I think you just bought a lifetime supply of Scram.


"The Flintstones: The Gruesomes (#5.9)" (1964)
Weirdly Gruesome: Oh yes. Our son Gob is quite the little lad.
Barney Rubble: Gob? Is he a sailor?
Barney Rubble: Oh no. Gob is short for Goblin.
Fred Flintstone: It figures, it figures. Does little Goblin have a pet spider that looks like a derby hat with legs?
Weirdly Gruesome: He did have, but little Gob, shall we say, wore him out.
Fred Flintstone: Yeah, let's say that. Spiders can't take it.
Weirdly Gruesome: Goblin isn't the kind of boy that you don't take to when you first meet him.
Fred Flintstone: I'll buy that.
Weirdly Gruesome: But when you get to know him, you can't stand him!
[laughs evilly]

Fred Flintstone: [Fred just opened the door and meets Mr Gruesome for the first time] Hello Mr Flintstone. I'm Gruesome.
Fred Flintstone: Yeah, you are, sort of. But knowing it is half the battle.
Weirdly Gruesome: You can call me Weirdly.
Fred Flintstone: I was just about to do that.

Barney Rubble: [watching the Gruesomes arrive in their car, which is a hearse] Hey Fred, what kind of car is that?
Fred Flintstone: That is the kind of car that takes you there but doesn't bring you back.


"The Flintstones: Shinrock-A-Go-Go (#6.12)" (1965)
Barney Rubble: [Arrives to help Fred practice his dance routine] I'll just plug in the old electric guitar, tune it up, and...
[guitar shorts out]
Fred Flintstone: Barney! What the heck happened?
Barney Rubble: AC guitar, DC outlet! Would you mind unplugging it, Fred? I'm feeling kind of barbequed!
[Fred tries to unplug the guitar, which shorts out again, then blows up]
Barney Rubble: Man, when those things short, they really short! You got a spare tuba?
Fred Flintstone: Never mind the instruments! You can hum the tune.

Fred Flintstone: [after hearing radio broadcasts making fun of his dancing] I don't want to do it! Don't make me do it!
[Starts to cry, then faints]
Barney Rubble: Don't worry about your daddy, Pebbles. He's just having a simple nervous breakdown.

Fred Flintstone: [after being "persuaded" to get Wilma & Betty tickets to the Shinrock TV show] Alright, we'll get you the tickets! But first let me take care of Jimmy O'Neillstone!
[Turns off TV]
Barney Rubble: [after an arm reaches out of the set and turns it back on] Well, I guess that's how they keep their ratings up.


"The Flintstones: The Snorkasaurus Hunter (#1.18)" (1961)
Fred Flintstone: And for the coup de grace, you tap him with this little club like this. And there you have it, your snork is in the bag.
Dino Snorkasaurus: And you might be left holding it chum.

Barney Rubble: What's a snorka snorkasaurus look like? I wouldn't know one if I saw it.
Fred Flintstone: Look Barney my boy, I will draw you a picture. First, the head's kind of fat like.
Dino Snorkasaurus: Look who's talking about a fat head!

Police Officer: [Writing up Fred on traffic violations after he called the cop to investigate a trailer obstructing traffic, not realizing that is it is his own trailer that broke free] Faulty Trailer Hitch, Obstructing Traffic, Creating A Hazard. What's your name?
Fred Flintstone: Flintstone.
Police Officer: How do you spell it?
Fred Flintstone: [Wincing at his own stupidity] F-A-T-H-E-A-D.


"The Flintstones: The Split Personality (#1.5)" (1960)
Barney Rubble: Can I ask you something, Fred?
Fred Flintstone: Make it good, because it's the last time I'm speaking to you.
Barney Rubble: Why did you drink my car polish?
Fred Flintstone: Car polish! Barney, do something!
Barney Rubble: I'll get a chamois!

Barney Rubble: The last bus for the track leaves in an hour. I'll go down and bet the money.
Fred Flintstone: What do you know about betting at the track.
Barney Rubble: I saw it on a TV show once.

Barney Rubble: The last bus for the track leaves in an hour. I'll go down and bet the money.
Fred Flintstone: What do you know about betting at the track.
Barney Rubble: [imitating the doctor] I saw it on a tv show once.


"The Flintstones: A Haunted House Is Not a Home (#5.7)" (1964)
Fred Flintstone: [about his uncle] He was a well, he was... he was...
Betty Rubble: You mean he was an eccentric.
Fred Flintstone: I mean he was a kook.

Creepers: Dinner is served, sir.
Fred Flintstone: Eh, what is it, Creepers?
Creepers: Alphabet soup, sir, our cook's specialty.
Fred Flintstone: Alphabet soup?
Barney Rubble: Sure, Fred, you twirl it around and sometimes it makes words. Uh do you think we should eat it?
Fred Flintstone: Well sure, why not?
Barney Rubble: Well if anything happens to Flintstone, everything goes to the servants, remember?
Fred Flintstone: Yeah, yeah I remember. Hey Barney look! The alphabet soup's trying to tell us something! Beware!
Barney Rubble: You better do what it says, Fred, look!
[Pot Rock charges at Fred with a cleaver]

Barney Rubble: [looking at a picture on the wall] Hey, that must be a picture of your uncle, the late J. Giggles Flinstone.
Fred Flintstone: Yeah, yeah that's him alright.
Barney Rubble: Looks a lot like you!
[the eyes move in the picture]
Fred Flintstone: Hey Barney! That picture, I saw the eyes move!
Barney Rubble: Eyes move? Oh boy, uh Fred, you're a bundle of nerves!
Fred Flintstone: [hears thunder and laughter and jumps over to Barney's side of the table] Kind of, stormy tonight, isn't it, Barney?


The Jetsons Meet the Flintstones (1987) (TV)
Fred Flintstone: It's the time machine, Mr Spacely - It's kaputt!
Barney Rubble: Yeah, and they can't kaputt it back together again!

George Jetson: [Watching Dino and Astro interfering in pig catching contest] Astro Watch out!
Fred Flintstone: No Dino No.

George Nate Slate: [after he knocks Barney wig off] Rubble!
George Nate Slate: Hold on you phony! Barney Rubble is your girlfriend?
Fred Flintstone: Oh After all these years sir, I can't believe you're not a Woman.
George Nate Slate: [Rips Fred's Moustache off] Well can you believe your both fired Flintstone?
Fred Flintstone: Oh!


"The Flintstones: Glue for Two (#4.7)" (1963)
Fred Flintstone: [Fred and Barney are glued to a bowling ball, and are trying to get it off with a hammer & chisel] Now when I nod my head, hit it. Ok, Barney?
Barney Rubble: If you say so, Fred.
Fred Flintstone: [Nods. Barney hits him in the head with the hammer] Not my head you dunce! The ball!

Fred Flintstone: He just tried to f-f-f-freeze me to death in a cold shower!
Barney Rubble: I always take a cold shower in the morning.
Betty Rubble: That's right, he does.
Fred Flintstone: [yelling] YEAH, BUT I DON'T!


"The Flintstones: Monster Fred (#5.2)" (1964)
Fred Flintstone: Hey Wilma! I'm leaving for the bowling alley.
Wilma Flintstone: Why don't you take Dino with you? He's been in the house all day.
Fred Flintstone: Dino? Well he don't bowl.

Doc: Good evening gentlemen. What can I do for you?
Barney Rubble: Well, my friend Fred isn't well. He got hit on the head by a bowling ball.
Fred Flintstone: [in a semi-conscious state] Mama, Mama, Mama.
Doc: Aha, very, very interesting Ja. Obviously a case of cranios-soreodis.
Barney Rubble: Huh, what's that?
Doc: He's allergic to bowling balls.


"The Flintstones: The Hot Piano (#1.19)" (1961)
Fred Flintstone: [seeing Barney lying on the ground, obviously in pain] What happened to you?
Barney Rubble: [in agony] I just got run over by a piano!
Fred Flintstone: Which way did it go?
Barney Rubble: [indicating with a raised arm] That-a-way.

Fred Flintstone: [the piano gets stuck in the doorway] Stand back, Barney. I'm going to put a little weight behind it.
Barney Rubble: But Fred, you're a lot of weight!
[Fred takes a run at the piano and proceeds to knock it over Barney and out the other side of the house]


"The Flintstones: The Blessed Event (#3.23)" (1963)
Fred Flintstone: This is Fred Hospital, I'm taking my wife to the Flintstone.
[Fred Flintstone is extremely nervous, while calling the Bedrock Hospital]

Wilma Flintstone: Look at me Fred, I'm calm.
Fred Flintstone: Why shouldn't you be? Your wife isn't having a baby.


"The Flintstones: The Surprise (#3.19)" (1963)
[last lines]
Fred Flintstone: [to the camera] It's true, folks, the Flintstones are gonna have a baby. And I want everybody the whole wide world to know it! YABBA-DABBA DOO!


"The Flintstones: Moonlight and Maintenance (#5.20)" (1965)
Fred Flintstone: [Fred stops at a wig shop to buy a disguise] I need a wig, quick!
Wig Man: That one you're wearing is a little ratty.
Fred Flintstone: Don't be a wise guy, just give me a wig!
Wig Man: [Takes the wig off his head and hands it to Fred] Here you are.
Fred Flintstone: [Puts on wig and pays clerk] Thank you. Hm, might as well take this phony mustache too.
[Pulls the clerk's mustache off and leaves]
Wig Man: Boy is he in for a surprise. That mustache was real. Ow! Oooh!


"The Flintstones: The Little Stranger (#3.8)" (1962)
Wilma Flintstone: It's been weeks since you had a good word for anybody or anything.
Fred Flintstone: Oh yeah, what about that thing I said about your mother last week?
Wilma Flintstone: My mother?
Fred Flintstone: I said, good riddance she lives 50 miles away.


"Robot Chicken: Easter Basket (#2.3)" (2006)
Fred Flintstone: Hey, Barney boy, this is the life.
Barney Rubble: You said it, Fred. An entire civilization not wearing underwear. You've gotta love it.


"The Flintstones: The Flintstone Flyer (#1.1)" (1960)
Fred Flintstone: [trying to fool their wives it wasn't them in the bowling alley] Read me another bedtime story, would you Barney pal?
Barney Rubble: Sure, which one? 'Uncle Wiggly' or 'I Was a Teenage Brontosaurus'?


"The Flintstones: The Engagement Ring (#1.9)" (1960)
Fred Flintstone: The ring wasn't in the flour canister. So it's got to be in the batter.
[slowly peeks around the corner]
Wilma Flintstone: FRED!
Fred Flintstone: [jumps] AAH!
Wilma Flintstone: What are you peeking around corners for?


"The Flintstones: The Masquerade Party (#6.11)" (1965)
Fred Flintstone: [as Fred and Barney begin to show eachother their costumes which both happen to be Red-Devil costumes] Hey Barney, where are you?
Barney Rubble: Oh, right here Fred. I slipped into my costume too.
Fred Flintstone: Huh?
Barney Rubble: Will the real Satan please stand up?
[Barney laughs]


"Family Guy: Stew-Roids (#7.13)" (2009)
Gina: [to Connie about Chris] He smells like Fred Flintstone's ass.
[cut to Fred Flintstone]
Fred Flintstone: Hey! No one's asking you to smell it.


"The Flintstones: The Missing Bus (#2.3)" (1961)
Fred Flintstone: Hi there young fella, what's your name?
Alvin: Alvin.
Fred Flintstone: Alvin what?
Alvin: Alvin... thank you.
Fred Flintstone: No, I mean your other name. What does your mommy call your daddy?
Alvin: She don't call him anything, she likes him!
Fred Flintstone: [getting irritated] Well, what does the name say on your mailbox?
Alvin: U.S. Mail.
Fred Flintstone: Say, isn't your father A.A. Carborundum?
Alvin: Yeah, so what?
Fred Flintstone: Well, do you know who I am?
Alvin: You mean you don't know that, either?
Fred Flintstone: Smart aleck kid.


"The Flintstones: Fred Meets Hercurock (#5.25)" (1965)
[Fred is in extremely deep exasparation, of having to work on a Saturday]
Fred Flintstone: Ood-abbad-abbay!
Barney Rubble: And what is that?
Fred Flintstone: That is yabba-dabba-doo, spelled backwards.


"The Flintstones: Mother-In-Law's Visit (#3.20)" (1963)
Fred Flintstone: [to himself] I love my dear sweet mother-in-law. My mother-in-law is a doll.


"Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law: The Dabba Don (#1.6)" (2002)
Talking Bird: [while testifying against Fred Flinstone as a Mafia Don] The guy was a pig! A Neanderthal!
Fred Flinstone: You're dead to me, can opener!


"The Flintstones: Carry On, Nurse Fred (#3.24)" (1963)
Fred Flintstone: I'm not talking about Wilma's mother. I'm talking about that antiseptic refugee from the psycho ward. Nurse Frightenshale.


"The Flintstones: Fred's New Job (#3.22)" (1963)
Wilma Flintstone: Fred, can't you get up without making all that noise?
Fred Flintstone: It's that pesty gooney bird, he's back again! Why can't he fly back to Capistranorock or wherever else he belongs? What a thing to look forward to all summer!


"The Flintstones: The Flagstones (#1.0)" (1960)
Betty Rubble: Wilma, when are we going shopping?
Wilma Flagstone: As soon as I serve his majesty his lunch. He's dining at the pool today. Where's Barney?
Betty Rubble: Oh, he's trying on his gear.
Wilma Flagstone: Gear?
Betty Rubble: That's right, he's going to practice spear fishing in the pool.
Wilma Flagstone: Spear fishing?
Fred Flagstone: Wilma?
Wilma Flagstone: Oh, I'll be right back, I've got to feed the fish.
[after Wilma walking to Fred's pool]
Wilma Flagstone: Where do you want it Fred?
Fred Flagstone: Oh, just set it down, where I can reach it.
Wilma Flagstone: And remember, if you sink, don't let my best dishes go down with the ship.
[after Barney scared Wilma, she lightly shrieked & then spoke to Barney]
Wilma Flagstone: Eek! Barney, its you.
Barney Rubble: Did my spear fishing outfit scare you?
Wilma Flagstone: Out of my wits. And don't scare Fred, or you'll lose his lunch and my dishes.
Barney Rubble: Hi'ya Fred.
Fred Flagstone: And what are you made up for?
Barney Rubble: I'm gonna practice spear fishing.
Fred Flagstone: You can't lose. You'll spear 'em or they'll die laughing. How does it work? And don't point that thing at me, it's loaded.
[after Barney's spear ricocheted around, it eventually punctured Fred's plastic air mattress]
Fred Flagstone: Barney boy, you're making it tough, to be friends.
Barney Rubble: [after Fred went down, Barney then quickly grabbed Fred's meal to be & ate it for himself] No use, wasting a lunch.
[very last line]


"The Flintstones: Dino and Juliet (#5.11)" (1964)
Fred Flintstone: Blustering: Awright, YOU asked for it, I'm gonna... Whimpering: Oh no... Oh you wouldn't do THAT... No... You wouldn't tickle my FEET, wouldja?


"The Flintstones: Rip Van Flintstone (#6.8)" (1965)
Man: You're a little late for Halloween, aren't ya, buddy?
Fred Flintstone: You're not Barney.
Man: Who?
Fred Flintstone: Barney Rubble. Doesn't he live here?
Man: [laughs] That's a hot one. B.J. Rubble the multimillionaire living here? You're a regular comedian, mister.
Fred Flintstone: Barney Rubble a millionaire?
Man: Yeah, struck it rich in oil years ago. Mr. Rubble lives way up there on tip of that hill. Calls the estate Sandstone Simeon. Everyone knows about B.J. Rubble the millionaire. You must have been asleep for the last twenty years, pal.
Fred Flintstone: Gee, maybe he's right. Maybe I *have* been asleep for twenty years, like in that Rip van Winklestone story.
[starts crying]
Fred Flintstone: I've slept my whole life away! My family's gone, my friends disappeared, Barney is rich!
[stops crying]
Fred Flintstone: Barney, *he'll* remember me! I'm his best friend and he'll know where Wilma and Pebbles are!


"The Flintstones: Fred Flintstone: Before and After (#1.28)" (1961)
Costumer: [Fred tries on a fake beard as a disguise] And with this hat on I guarantee your own mother won't recognize you!
Fred Flintstone: [walking outside] GOOD! GOOD! Now I can go anywhere in town and eat!
Barney Rubble: Hiya, Fred!
Costumer: [back in the costume shop] Back so soon, Mr. Flintstone? How was the party?
[Fred slams the hat over his head]


"The Flintstones: The Masquerade Ball (#2.12)" (1961)
Fred Flintstone: Tell me, boss, I'm on pins and needles! What were you wearing?
Mr. Rockhead: [Puts on the bird head of the costume that he, unknown to Fred, exchanged with the costumer] I got it right here.
Fred Flintstone: Sure, I talked to you, we were standing at the refreshment bar and I was saying...
[suddenly realizes it was Mr. Rockhead he said all that bad stuff to]
Fred Flintstone: Oh boy, what I was saying...
Mr. Rockhead: I'll refresh your memory... Quote: Vice president of the morons section of the Knucklehead Club.
[Fred starts to "feel small" as he continues]
Mr. Rockhead: Home having dinner before the 5-oclock whistle. Penny Pincher. Shorty. Birdbrain. You were gonna bump me right on the beak! Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera! Well, what have you got to say for yourself?
Fred Flintstone: [in a high-pitched voice] Oh boy, me and my big mouth.


1967 Busch Advertisement (1967)
Fred Flintstone: [about losing their jobs] We're going to figure out a story to tell our wives Barney
Barney Rubble: Oh I have my story all set
Fred Flintstone: Yeah what is it?
Barney Rubble: Well I'll walk into the house right up to Betty and I'll say "Betty Fred Flintstone made me quit my job today".
Fred Flintstone: And then what?
Barney Rubble: I kill myself, what else?
[both laugh]


"The Flintstones: Trouble-In-Law (#2.26)" (1962)
Fred Flintstone: Oh, boy, how terrible can you get food?
Pearl Slaghoople: What's the matter sonny, don't you like the breakfast I cooked for ya?
Fred Flintstone: I seem to have lost my appetite. What is this stuff, anyway?
Pearl Slaghoople: [gets in his face] Health food, sonny. Just what the doctor ordered.
Fred Flintstone: Then let the doctor eat it!


I Yabba-Dabba Do! (1993) (TV)
Fred Flintstone: How, could I forget? I slipped on them so many times, that hospital emergency ward put in a revolving door!


"The Flintstones: The Hatrocks and the Gruesomes (#5.19)" (1965)
Granny Hatrock: [after hitting a hand that came out of the well] Mind your manners. Oh Mr Gruesome. I don't want to spoil this here lovely party, but there's something down in that well.
Weirdly Gruesome: Oh, that's only Uncle Ghastly. He lives down there.
Fred Flintstone: Uncle Ghastly lives down in the well?
Weirdly Gruesome: Yes. He's on Crepella's side of the family.
Weirdly Gruesome: [Fred looked down the well, then the hand punches him, leaving Fred staring down the well] He's full of laughs.
[a very creepy laugh emanates from the well, terrifying Fred]


"The Flintstones: The Swimming Pool (#1.3)" (1960)
Fred Flintstone: Who is your busom buddy, close friend, and lifelong pal?
Barney Rubble: How many guesses do I get?


"The Flintstones: Ten Little Flintstones (#4.16)" (1964)
Fred Flintstone: Hold it! And don't give me that Yabba Dabba Doo stuff.
Robot Fred: Yabba... Dabba... Doo.