Ernst Stavro Blofeld
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Quotes for
Ernst Stavro Blofeld (Character)
from You Only Live Twice (1967)

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Spectre (2015/I)
Blofeld: Goodbye, James Bond.

Blofeld: [to Bond] Cuckoo!

James Bond: You're a hard man to kill, Blofeld.
[notices his scar]
James Bond: Ouch. I do hope that doesn't hurt too much.
Blofeld: My wounds will heal. What about yours?

Blofeld: The things that bring people together. Out of horror, beauty.

Blofeld: A man lives inside his head. That's where the seed of his soul is. James and I were both present recently when a man was deprived of his eyes and the most astonishing thing happened, didn't you notice? He wasn't there anymore. He had gone even though he was still alive, so this brief moment between life and death, there was nobody inside his skull. Most odd.

Blofeld: You know what happens when a cuckoo hatches inside another bird's nest?
Madeleine Swann: Yes. It forces the other eggs out.
Blofeld: Yes. Well, this cuckoo made me realize my father's life had to end. In a way he's responsible for the path I took...
[to Bond]
Blofeld: So thank you, cuckoo!

Blofeld: I've really put you through a lot, haven't I? Well, that's brothers for you: they always know which buttons to press.

[Bond points a gun at Blofeld]
Blofeld: Finish it... Finish it!
James Bond: [removes clip from gun] Out of bullets.
[looks over at Madeleine]
James Bond: And besides, I've got something better to do.

Blofeld: [about C] He's a visionary, like me.
James Bond: Visionaries... Psychiatric wards are full of them.

Blofeld: If the needle finds the correct spot in the fusiform gyrus, you recognize no one. Of course the faces of your women like to change a lot, right James? You won't know who she is. Just another passing face on your way to the grave.

James Bond: [whispers to Madeleine] One minute. One minute.
Blofeld: Did he say something?
James Bond: Tempus fugit.
Blofeld: What?
James Bond: Tempus fugit.
Blofeld: I can't hear you, James.
James Bond: I said, doesn't time fly?
[Madeleine tosses the watch to Blofeld and it explodes, destroying the torture machine and knocking Blofeld unconscious]

Blofeld: You see, they failed to comprehend the crucial fact that a terrible event can lead to something wonderful.


Diamonds Are Forever (1971)
Blofeld: The satellite is at present over... Kansas. Well, if we destroy Kansas the world may not hear about it for years. Perhaps New York, with all that smut and traffic... might give them a chance for a fresh start. Washington, DC. Perfect. Since we have not heard from them, *they* will hear from us.

Blofeld: Tiffany, my dear. We're showing a bit more *cheek* than usual, aren't we?
[Tiffany takes the cassette out from her bottom and hands it to Blofeld]
Blofeld: [to the guards] Take her below and lock her up with Mr. Bond.
[the guards take her to a cell]
Blofeld: What a pity, such nice cheeks too. If only they were brains.
[referring to the cassette]
Blofeld: Destroy this, Metz.

Blofeld: You press "L" Mr. Bond, the word "Lobby" begins with "L".

Blofeld: Making mud pies, 007?

James Bond: What do you intend to do with those diamonds?
Blofeld: An excellent question. And one which will be hanging on the lips of the world quite soon. If I were to break the news to anyone it would be to you first, Mr Bond, you know that.

Blofeld: Good evening, Mr Bond.
James Bond: Blofeld?
Blofeld Double: Good evening, 007.
Blofeld: Double jeopardy, Mr Bond.

Blofeld Double: You killed my only other double, I'm afraid. After his death, volunteers were understandably... rather scarce.
Blofeld: Such a pity. All that time and energy wasted, simply to provide you with one mock, heroic moment.

Blofeld: Right idea, Mr. Bond...
James Bond: ...But wrong pussy.

Blofeld: Well go on, go on, it's merely a lift. Or should I say elevator? In any event I'm sure you'll find it far more convenient than mountaineering about outside the Whyte House.

Blofeld: Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in.

Blofeld: As La Rochefoucauld observed, "humility is the worst form of conceit." I do hold the winning hand.


You Only Live Twice (1967)
Blofeld: I shall look forward personally to exterminating you, Mr. Bond.

Blofeld: The firing power inside my crater is enough to annihilate a small army. You can watch it all on TV. It's the last program you're likely to see.
James Bond: Well, if I'm gonna be forced to watch television, may I smoke?
Blofeld: Yes. Give him his cigarettes. It won't be the nicotine that kills you, Mr. Bond.

Blofeld: Goodbye, Mr. Bond!

Blofeld: Kill Bond! Now!

Blofeld: [shows the x-ray of the PPK to Osato & Brandt] Only one person we know uses this sort of gun. James Bond.
Mr. Osato: But Bond is dead!
Helga Brandt: It was in all the newspapers!
Blofeld: Rubbish. Bond is alive. Unless you killed him, Mr. Osato. Don't tell me you let him go.
Mr. Osato: I gave Number 11 the strictest orders to eliminate him.
Blofeld: And did she?
Mr. Osato: She failed.
Helga Brandt: [to Osato] *You* should have killed him yourself. You had plenty of opportunities...
Blofeld: This organization does not tolerate failure.
Mr. Osato: I know, but do you see I...
Blofeld: GO!
[Osato crosses the bridge over the water where the piranha are waiting]
Blofeld: [addressing Helga] Well.
[Helga starts across. Blofeld hits a pedal that causes the bridge bottom to drop out, sending Helga into the piranha-filled water. The lethal fish immediately converge on her and she is dead in seconds. Osato looks on in horror]
Blofeld: [addressing Osato] Kill Bond! Now!
Mr. Osato: Yes, Number One! Yes. Yes, yes.

Blofeld: James Bond. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Ernst Stavro Blofeld. They told me you were assassinated in Hong Kong.
James Bond: Yes, this is my second life.
Blofeld: You only live twice, Mr. Bond.

[Bond is caught trying to enter the SPECTRE spacecraft]
Blofeld: You made a mistake, my friend. No astronaut would enter the capsule carrying his air conditioner.

[Blofeld has demanded an advance payment of $100 million in gold]
Blofeld's Financier: Our agreement states quite clearly that no money should be paid until war has broken out between Russia and the United States.
Financier #2: This is extortion!
Blofeld: [shows his SPECTRE ring] Extortion is my business. Go away and think it over, gentlemen. I'm busy.

Blofeld: As you can see, I am about to inaugurate a little war. In a matter of hours after America and Russia have annihilated each other. We shall see a new power dominating the world.


On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)
Ernst Stavro Blofeld: I've taught you to love chickens, to love their flesh, their voice.

Ernst Stavro Blofeld: Merry Christmas, 007.
James Bond: [as Hillary Bray] I'm Sir Hillary Bray.
Ernst Stavro Blofeld: No no no, Mr. Bond. Respectable baronets from the College of Heralds do "not" seduce female patients in clinics. On the other hand, they do get their professional details... "right". The De Bleauchamps tombs are "not" in the Augsburg Cathedral as you said, but in the Ste. Anna Kirch. Sir Hillary Bray would have known!
[Bond looks down and sighs, finally aware that he has been made]
Ernst Stavro Blofeld: [beat] Small slip. It takes more than a few props to turn 007 into a Herald.
[breaks Bond's glasses]
James Bond: [normal voice] It'll take more than cutting off your earlobes, Blofeld, to turn you into a Count.
Ernst Stavro Blofeld: I may yet suprise you. But I'm afraid you have no more suprises left for me. I know all about your mission, Mr. Bond.
[Blofeld throws Campbell's mountain climbing equipment at the floor]
Ernst Stavro Blofeld: Your colleague! Such a keen climber, and a brilliant conversationalist... before he left us.
James Bond: You realize that he reported where I am.
Ernst Stavro Blofeld: Oh, I doubt that. In any case, no one is coming to your rescue, Mr. Bond. In a few short hours, the United Nations will receive a Yultide greeting. The information that I now possess the scientific means to control, or to destroy, the economy of the whole world. People will have more important things to deal with than you.

[Bond has realized what Blofeld is really up to]
James Bond: Allergy vaccines? Bacteria. Bacteriological Warfare.
Ernst Stavro Blofeld: With a difference. Our big breakthrough since last summer has been the confection of a certain... Virus Omega.
James Bond: Infertility.
Ernst Stavro Blofeld: TOTAL Infertility! In plants and animals. Not just disease in a few herds, Mr. Bond. Or the loss of a single crop. But the destruction of a whole strain. Forever! Throughout an entire continent. If my demands are not met, I shall proceed with the systematic extinction of whole species of cereals and livestock all over the world!

[Blofeld wants to share his life with Tracy]
Ernst Stavro Blofeld: Now, if you're very, very nice to me. I could make you my Countess.
Tracy: But I'm already a Countess.
Ernst Stavro Blofeld: Whereas if you displease me, I can promise you a very *different* estate.

Ernst Stavro Blofeld: Open the compact. Adjust the point of control. Every night at midnight you must be alone. I will tell you what to do. I will tell you how. And once you obey my instructions you will forget them forever. Forever. Forever. Forever...


"The Simpsons: Homer the Great (#6.12)" (1995)
Number One: [at Homer's initiation] And now for the final ordeal: The Paddling Of The Swollen Ass! With paddles.

Homer: I swear, that if I ever reveal the secrets of the Stonecutters, that my stomach shall become bloated, and my head plucked of all but three hairs...
Moe Szyslak: Um, I think he should have to take a different oath.
Number One: Everybody takes the same oath!

Number One: Welcome to the club, Number 493. You have become a member of the ancient and noble society of Stonecutters, who since ancient times have always endeavored to shatter the stone of ignorance, to bring forth the light of truth... now, let's all get drunk and play Ping-Pong!

Number One: This ritual is called crossing the desert.
[the Stonecutters hit Homer with paddles as part of his initiation ceremony]


For Your Eyes Only (1981)
Blofeld: Think twice 007, it's a long way down.

Blofeld: I trust you had a pleasant "fright"!

[Blofeld dangles from a helicopter]
Blofeld: Put me down! Put me down!
James Bond: Oh, you want to get off?
[Bond drops Blofeld down a giant smokestack]

Blofeld: Mr Bond! We can do a deal! I'll buy you a delicatessen! In stainless steel!


From Russia with Love (1963)
Ernst Blofeld: Siamese fighting fish, fascinating creatures. Brave but of the whole stupid. Yes they're stupid. Except for the occasional one such as we have here who lets the other two fight. While he waits. Waits until the survivor is so exhausted that he cannot defend himself, and then like SPECTRE... he strikes!
Rosa Klebb: I find the parallel... amusing.
Ernst Blofeld: Our organization did not arrange for you to come over from the Russians just for amusement, Number 3.

Blofeld: [aboard his yacht] Bond is still alive and the Lektor is not yet in our possession. I've negotiated with the Russians for its return; we've agreed on a price. And S.P.E.C.T.R.E. ALWAYS delivers what it promises. Our entire organization survives upon the keeping of those promises...
[to Klebb]
Blofeld: I warned you: We do NOT tolerate failure, Number Three. You know the penalty.
Rosa Klebb: [numbly] Yes, Number One.
Blofeld: Our rules are very simple: if you fail...
[Morzeny kicks Kronsteen with a poisoned blade; he slowly collapses to the floor]
Blofeld: Twelve seconds. One of these days we must invent a faster-working venom. Number Three!
Rosa Klebb: Yes, sir?
Blofeld: I do not wish to have to tell the Russians that there will be ANOTHER delay.
Rosa Klebb: There will be no delay, Number One. There's still time.

Blofeld: Three men were found dead on the Orient Express train at Trieste. One of them was Grant. What have you got to say about that Number Five?
Kronsteen: It was Klebb's choice. Her people failed.
Rosa Klebb: It was your plan they followed implicitly.
Kronsteen: Impossible. It was perfect.
Rosa Klebb: Except for one thing, they were dealing with Bond.
Kronsteen: Who is Bond compared with Kronsteen?


Thunderball (1965)
Ernst Stavro Blofeld: SPECTRE is a dedicated fraternity whose strength lies in the absolute integrity of its members.


GoldenEye: Rogue Agent (2004) (VG)
Number One: [final lines] A splendid effort Francisco. My compliments.
Francisco Scaramanga: Thank you Number One. Of course your plan was perfectly conceived. The rivals devoured one another, as you predicted.
Number One: Yes, but in removing Auric and Julius, we may have created a third threat to the organization.
Francisco Scaramanga: So what of this Goldeneye?
Number One: I will keep an eye of my own on that one.


Never Say Never Again (1983)
Blofeld: I am Supreme Commander of SPECTRE, the Special Executive for Counterintelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion. Yesterday morning, the American Air Force launched 2 cruise missiles from Swadley Air Base in Great Britain. Through the ingenuity of SPECTRE, the dummy warheads they carried were replaced with *live*, *nuclear* warheads. Your weapons of destruction are now safely in our possession and will be moved to two secret targets. Please note the serial numbers of the missiles; they will confirm the truth. Your weapons of deterrence did not deter us from our objective! A terrible catastrophe now confronts you. However, it can be avoided by paying a tribute to our organization, amounting to twenty-five percent of your respective countries' annual oil purchases. We have accomplished two of the functions that the name SPECTRE embodies: terror and extortion. If our demands are not met within seven days, we shall ruthlessly apply the third: revenge!