Dr. Christmas Jones
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Quotes for
Dr. Christmas Jones (Character)
from The World Is Not Enough (1999)

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The World Is Not Enough (1999)
[Colonel Akakievich and Christmas storm in]
Colonel Akakievich: [to Bond] Hey! Drop the gun!
James Bond: Keep away, Colonel!
Dr. Christmas Jones: He's an imposter. Doctor Arkov is sixty-three years old.
James Bond: [about Renard and his men] This is your imposter, along with the men outside in the plane. They're stealing the bomb.
[Colonel Akakievich picks up an rifle and loads it]
Colonel Akakievich: I said drop it!
[Bond drops the PPK. Renard gets up off the floor]
Colonel Akakievich: [to Bond] On your knees!
[One of Renard's men removes a card from the bomb]
Renard: [Speaks Russian] Well done.
[about Bond]
Renard: He would have killed us all.
[Takes a photograph from Christams's hand]
Renard: This is Peter?
Dr. Christmas Jones: Yeah, but he's no atomic scientist.
Renard: [to Akakievich] I suppose you were the one who let him down.
[Renard shoves the photograph at Akakievich and walks towards Bond]
Renard: [to Bond] You had me. But i know you couldn't...
[Renard squeezes Bond's left shoulder. Bond groans with pain]
Renard: ...shoulder the responsibility.
[Renard lets go of Bond's shoulder and starts walking towards the silo entrance]
Renard: [to Akakievich] Now, without any further interruptions, lets proceed.
Colonel Akakievich: Nyet! There are too many new faces around here, including yours. The bomb doesn't move until I am satisfied.
[to the terrorists]
Colonel Akakievich: Hey, all of you, to the surface, now!
[Renard's men open fire at Akakievich's men]

[last lines]
James Bond: [in bed with Jones] I was wrong about you.
Dr. Christmas Jones: Yeah? How so?
James Bond: I thought Christmas only comes once a year.

Dr. Christmas Jones: The world's greatest terrorist running around with six kilos of weapons-grade plutonium can't be good. I gotta get it back, or someone's gonna have my ass.
James Bond: First things first.

[Bond and Christmas emerge from the ruptured pipeline]
James Bond: [to Christmas as she emerges from the pipeline] Come on, give me your hand. Jump, jump, jump.
Dr. Christmas Jones: Do you wanna explain why you did that? I could have stopped that bomb! You almost killed us!
James Bond: I DID kill us! She thinks we're dead and she thinks she got away with it!
Dr. Christmas Jones: Do you wanna put that in English for those of us who don't speak spy. Who's she?
James Bond: Elektra King.
Dr. Christmas Jones: Well, why would she blow up her own pipeline?
James Bond: It makes her look innocent. The explosion covers up the theft of the plutonium. And they make it look like a terrorist attack.
Dr. Christmas Jones: [takes a tin of plutonium out of her bag] But why leave this half?
James Bond: So there's enough to spread around to cover up for the part that they did take
Dr. Christmas Jones: But what are they gonna do with the other half? Its not enough to make a nuclear bomb.
James Bond: You're the scientist. You tell me?
Dr. Christmas Jones: I don't know. But the world's greatest terrorist running around with 6 kilos of weapons-grade plutonium can't be good. I have to get it back. Or somebody's gonna have my ass.
James Bond: First things first.
[talks into the two-way radio attatched to his belt]
James Bond: Bond to Robinson, do you copy?
Dr. Christmas Jones: By the way, before we go any further, I just want to know. What's the story with you and Elektra?
James Bond: We're stictly plutonic, now.
[into two-way]
James Bond: Bond to Robinson, copy?
James Bond: [to Chrismas] What's your story? What are you doing here in Kazakhstan?
Dr. Christmas Jones: Avoiding those kind of questions just like you.
Robinson: [from two way] I read you, Double-Oh-Seven. Red Alert. M is missing with Elektra, three men down. Await instructions. Out.
Dr. Christmas Jones: What do we do now?
James Bond: There's one critical element here I may have overlooked.
Dr. Christmas Jones: What, more plutonium?
James Bond: No. Beluga caviar.

[Zukovzky fixes the "Zukovsky's Finest" logo on his office door]
Zukovsky: There's nothing in this place straight.
[Zukovsky opens the door and is shocked to see Christmas sitting on a couch in his office]
Zukovsky: Who are you, and how did you get in? I'll call security and congratulate them. Drink?
[the office door moves back, and Bond appears holding a guy at gunpoint]
Zukovsky: Can't you just say a hello, like a normal person.
James Bond: [to guy] Get lost.
[the guy heads moves towards the door, and Bond grabs him by the shirt collar]
James Bond: [to guy] No, no, no, no, no. Down the back!
[to Zukovsky]
James Bond: What's your business with Elektra King?
Zukovsky: I thought you were the one giving her the business.
[Bond points his gun at Zukovsky and walks towards him. Zukovsky walks backwards towards the wall]
James Bond: She drops a million dollars in your casino and you don't even blink an eye! What's she paying you off for?
Zukovsky: [to Chistmas] You know, if I were you, a relationship with a man like that, I wouldn't bet on it.
[Bond tackles Zukovsky and shoves him back into a wall-mounted shelf full of caviar. At that moment, the sound of helicopters surround the skies over the caviar factory]
Zukovsky: Five thousand dollars of Beluga, ruined!
James Bond: That's nothing compared to what a twenty megaton nuclear bomb can do!
Zukovsky: What are you talking about?
Dr. Christmas Jones: We had a nuclear bomb stolen this morning!
James Bond: Renard and Elektra King are working together!
Zukovsky: I didn't know!
James Bond: Well what do you know?

Dr. Christmas Jones: Wait a minute. Are you going to do what I think you're going to do?
James Bond: What do I need to defuse a nuclear bomb?
Dr. Christmas Jones: Me.

Dr. Christmas Jones: What's the story with you and Elektra?
James Bond: We're strictly plutonic, now.

Dr. Christmas Jones: You wanna put that in English for those of us who don't speak Spy?

James Bond: I've always wanted to have Christmas in Turkey.
Dr. Christmas Jones: Was that a Christmas joke?
James Bond: From me? No. Never.
Dr. Christmas Jones: Is it about time to unwrap your present?
[They Kiss]

Dr. Christmas Jones: Are You here for a reason, or are you just hoping for a glimmer?
James Bond: [With a bad Russian accent] Mikhail Arkov, Russian atomic energy department,
[Hands her the transport documents]
James Bond: and you are miss?
Dr. Christmas Jones: Doctor Jones. Christmas Jones, and don't tell me any jokes, I've heard them all.
James Bond: I don't know any doctor jokes.
Dr. Christmas Jones: [after looking at the transport documents] Here, they're okay, you can take the elevator, your friends are already down there.
James Bond: Do I get some type of protection?
Dr. Christmas Jones: What is down there is just weapons-grade plutonium. It's completely safe.
[Seeing Bond walking away]
Dr. Christmas Jones: Oh, doctor, aren't you forgetting something?
[Points to a board with badges on it]
James Bond: Yes, of course.
Dr. Christmas Jones: By the way.
[In Russian]
Dr. Christmas Jones: Your English is very good for a Russian.
James Bond: [In Russian] I studied at Oxford.

James Bond: [about the bomb in the pipeline] You've defused hundreds of these, right?
Dr. Christmas Jones: Yeah, but they're usually standing still.
James Bond: Yes, well, life is full of small challenges.

Dr. Christmas Jones: So, you're a British spy. Do you have a name?
James Bond: The name's Bond. James Bond.