Harley Quinn
Quicklinks
Top Links
main detailsbiographyby votesphoto galleryquotes
Filmographies
by yearby typeby ratingsby votesby TV seriesby genreby keyword
Biographical
biography
Did You Know?
photo galleryquotes

Quotes for
Harley Quinn (Character)
from "Batman: The Animated Series" (1992)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
Suicide Squad (2016)
Captain Boomerang: You know what they say about the crazy ones...
Harley Quinn: Huh?

Harley Quinn: [to Katana] Love your perfume. What is that, the stench of death?

Harley Quinn: Huh? What was that? I should kill everyone and escape? Sorry. The voices. Ahaha, I'm kidding! Jeez! That's not what they really said.

[Harley smashes a shop window]
Rick Flagg: Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you people?
Harley Quinn: [takes a purse] We're bad guys, it's what we do.

Harley Quinn: [at a bar] Whatcha having?
Killer Croc: Beer.
Katana: Whiskey.
Floyd Lawton: [points to shot glass] What am I, twelve?
Harley Quinn: How 'bout you, hot stuff?
El Diablo: Water.
Harley Quinn: That's a good idea, honey.

Rick Flagg: This is the deal: You disobey me, you die. You try to escape, you die. You irritate or vex me... and guess what? You die.
Harley Quinn: I'm known for being quite vexing. I'm just forewarning you.
Rick Flagg: Lady, shut up!
[Harley pouts]

[Harley Quinn changes her clothes in public]
Harley Quinn: [sees everyone staring at her] What?

Harley Quinn: [walks from a helicopter crash] What a ride!

Harley Quinn: I love this guy!

Harley Quinn: I'm bored. Play with me!

[to Rick Flagg]
Harley Quinn: Oh, he's embarrassed of us... that's so cute!

[while out on a joyride]
Harley Quinn: Come on, Puddin'. Do it!
The Joker: Oh, we have got company.
Harley Quinn: Batsy, Batsy, Batsy.
[Batman leaps onto the hood of the car]
Harley Quinn: Stupid Bats, you're ruining date night!
[Harley attempts to shoot Batman through the roof]

The Joker: What do we have here?
Harley Quinn: What you gonna do? You gonna kill me, Mr. J?
The Joker: What? Oh, I'm not gonna kill you. I'm just gonna hurt you. Really, really bad.
Harley Quinn: You think so? Well, I can take it.

The Joker: He's so intense!
Monster T: You're a lucky man. Got a bad bitch.
The Joker: Oh, that she is. The fire in my loins. The itch in my crotch. The one, the only, the infamous Harley Quinn!
[whistles for Harley]
The Joker: Ooh, come to daddy.
Harley Quinn: Puddin!
The Joker: Listen, you are my gift to this handsome honka honka! You belong to him now.
Harley Quinn: [barks and laughs] Ooh, you're cute! You want me? I'm all yours.
Monster T: I don't want no beef.
The Joker: You don't want no beef?
[mocking]
The Joker: Don't want no beef? Don't want no beef?
Harley Quinn: What's wrong? You don't like me? Fine! Don't waste my time then.
Monster T: This your lady.
The Joker: Are you enjoying yourself?
Monster T: No. That's your lady, Joker.
The Joker: That's right!

Harley Quinn: You got all dressed up for me?
The Joker: You know I'd do anything for you. By the way, I've got some grape soda on ice and a bear skin rug waiting.
Frost: Boss, we got a problem!
[the Joker's helicopter is struck by a missile]
The Joker: Huh? This bird is baked. Okay honey, it's me and you.
Harley Quinn: Let's do it!

Harley Quinn: What, I got a hickey or something?
The Joker: Professor! Could you pick up the pace?
Harley Quinn: [receives text from the Joker] He's here.
Floyd Lawton: Harley!
The Joker: Come on, baby!
Amanda Waller: Kill her!
Rick Flagg: Her nanonite's disarmed!
The Joker: Come on, baby!
Harley Quinn: [laughing]
Amanda Waller: Deadshot! Shoot that woman!

Harley Quinn: Are you the devil?
Amanda Waller: Maybe.

The Joker: Would you die for me?
Harley Quinn: Yes.
The Joker: No, no, no. That's too easy... Would you live for me?

Griggs: If she moves, fire it up. Alright?
[to Harley]
Griggs: You gonna come down from there, or what?
Harley Quinn: [laughs]
Griggs: Oh yeah, look at you. You know the rules, hotness. You got to keep off of these bars.
Harley Quinn: What, these bars?
Griggs: Yeah, those bars.
[Harley licks the bar]
Griggs: Oh my God. You are really in bad shape upstairs, lady.
Harley Quinn: Gonna come in here and tell me that? Or are you too scared? Come on, I'm bored. I'm bored. Play with me!
Griggs: You put five of my guards in the hospital, honey. No one's gonna play with you. You sleep on the ground.
Harley Quinn: I sleep where I want, when I want, with who I want.
Griggs: Oh man, I love you.
[on radio]
Griggs: Alpha-1, hit her!

[Sees that Joker is about to drive off the railing, into the river]
Harley Quinn: Puddin'?
[Hysterically panicking as the car goes into to the water]
Harley Quinn: Puddin', I can't swim!

Floyd Lawton: [Harley points gun] Whoa! Relax. It's me.
Harley Quinn: You ever been in love?
Floyd Lawton: No. Never.
Harley Quinn: Bullshit.
Floyd Lawton: You don't kill as many people as I've killed and still sleep like a kitten, but feel shit like love.
Harley Quinn: Another textbook sociopath.

[last lines]
Harley Quinn: Puddin'!
The Joker: Let's go home.

Floyd Lawton: Flagg, I don't like this...
Harley Quinn: Pussy.
Floyd Lawton: I will knock your ass out! I don't care if you're a girl.

Captain Boomerang: [to El Diablo] And the kids?
Harley Quinn: He killed them. Didn't you?
[pauses]
Harley Quinn: Own that shit. Own it! What'd you think was gonna happen? Huh?
Floyd Lawton: Hey, Harley. Come on.
Harley Quinn: What, you were just thinking you can have a happy family and coach little leagues, and make car payments? Normal is a setting on the dryer. People like us, we don't get normal!
Captain Boomerang: [yelling] Why is it always a knife fight every single time you open your mouth? You know, outside you're amazing. But inside, you're ugly.
Harley Quinn: We all are. We all are!
[looks at Killer Croc]
Harley Quinn: Except for him. He's ugly on the outside, too.
Killer Croc: Not me, shorty. I'm beautiful.
Harley Quinn: Yeah, you are.

The Joker: Question! Would you die for me?
Harley Quinn: Yes.
The Joker: That's too easy. Would you... would you live for me? Hmm?
Harley Quinn: Yes.
The Joker: Careful. Do not say this oath thoughtlessly! Desire becomes surrender. Surrender becomes power. Do you want this?
Harley Quinn: I do.
The Joker: Say it.
[pauses]
The Joker: Say it. Say it. Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty...
Harley Quinn: Please?
The Joker: [impressed] God, you're so good.

Harley Quinn: I'm not much of a joiner, but maybe we should.
Floyd Lawton: Hey! She's trying to take over the world.
Harley Quinn: So? What's the world ever done for us, anyway? It hates us!
Floyd Lawton: Hey, Harley!
Harley Quinn: [approaches Enchantress] Hey, lady? Um, I lost my Puddin'. But you can get him back, right?

Griggs: Prisoner, get down on your knees! Now! Turn around! Hands up high!
Harley Quinn: Hey, I'm cooperating! Alright? This is me being cool.
Griggs: [to guards] Take her.
[Harley attacks the guards]
Griggs: You better fire that goddamn weapon!

Harley Quinn: You're my friend too

Enchantress: I've been waiting for you all night. Step out of the shadows. I won't bite.
Harley Quinn: Huh.
[Harley starts to walk to Enchantress]
Rick Flagg: What the hell? Grab her!
[Deadshot grabs Harley]
Enchantress: Why are you here? Because the soldier led you? And all for Waller. Why do you serve those who cage you? I am your ally. And I know what you want. Exactly what you want.

Harley Quinn: He married me!

El Diablo: I can't change what I did. And neither can you!
Harley Quinn: He married me!
El Diablo: It's not real.
Floyd Lawton: I killed the Bat.
El Diablo: Nah, homie. You don't want that.
Harley Quinn: What? I want that.
El Diablo: She's trying to play games with you, man. It's not real!
Rick Flagg: He's right. It's not real.

Harley Quinn: I'm off my meds...

Amanda Waller: Any other requests?
Harley Quinn: Oh! An espresso machine.
Killer Croc: BET!

Harley Quinn: Wee!
Griggs: Listen, you're being transferred. I don't know where you're going.
[hands Harley a phone]
Griggs: It's from Mr. J. You gonna tell him I took care of you?
Harley Quinn: You're so screwed!
[laughs]
Griggs: What do you mean by that? What do you mean by that? Harley, what do you mean by that? Harley!

Harley Quinn: [seeing Enchantress building her weapon] Hey, everyone can see all this trippy magic stuff, right?
Floyd Lawton: Yeah. Why?
Harley Quinn: I'm off my meds.


The Batman Superman Movie: World's Finest (1997) (TV)
[Joker's plane crashes into the sea and explodes]
Harley Quinn: Puddin'!
Batman: At this point, he probably is.

[first lines]
Harley Quinn: Hang on there, Clyde!
Pawn Shop Broker: Sorry, miss, we're closed.
Harley Quinn: Just look at what I'm selling! You'll plotz!

Lex Luthor: The office, now.
Harley Quinn: Swell, Mr. L.
Lex Luthor: Mr. L?

[Harley's driving Lex Luthor's limo]
Harley Quinn: Whoa, momma, check out the cute hitchhiker!
The Joker: [hitchhiking and showing off his gams] Yoo-hoo!

Lois Lane: [to The Joker] You sick, demented, murdering freak!
Harley Quinn: [gasp] How rude!

Harley Quinn: [holding a gingerbread Batman cookie] Hello, Mr. J. I'm Batman! Eat me! Eat me! Eat me!

[Mercy is watching Harley Quinn, on TV, being tossed into a padded wagon in a straightjacket]
Harley Quinn: I want a lawyer! I want a doctor! I want a cheese sandwich!
Mercy Graves: Now that's funny! Ha, ha, ha!

Lex Luthor: [grabs Joker] You maniac! You idiot! How dare you use one of my laboratories for your...?
Joker: Harley?
[Harley somersaults out and strikes a ridiculous fighting stance]
Harley Quinn: Put him down, baldy!
Lex Luthor: Mercy?
[Mercy slams a flying kick into Harley]
Mercy Graves: Here's for that punch in the face!
Joker: [to Luthor] Can't we discuss this like gentlemen?
[Luthor reluctantly releases Joker, while sounds of fighting continue in the background]
Harley Quinn: Ooh, listen to Little Miss Can't-Take-A-Joke!
[as Joker guides Luthor to a chair, Mercy goes flying across the room]
Joker: Thank you. Have a seat, please.
[as they sit, Harley charges across the room]
Harley Quinn: BANZAI!

[as Luthor and Joker finish their discussion, Mercy and Harley are still pounding each other's heads on the floor]
Lex Luthor: Mercy, let's go!
[to Joker]
Lex Luthor: Keep in mind, this is your last chance.
[He walks out. Mercy limps after him, groaning. Harley limps over to Joker, also groaning]
Joker: How you doin', slugger?
Harley Quinn: A-okay, Mr. J!
[He pats her on the shoulder. She collapses]

Harley Quinn: [as she's being wrapped in a straight jacket and being loaded into a police van] I want a lawyer!, I want a doctor!, I want a cheese sandwich!


Batman: Assault on Arkham (2014) (V)
Harley Quinn: Anyone who throws boomerangs has some real issues letting go.

Harley Quinn: [about Black Spider] Ninjas are AWESOME!

Harley Quinn: [on the Joker] I'm fine. We're done. He's a jerk. Whatever.
Killer Frost: [sarcasm] Well, I'm convinced.

[Harley tries to break into the Joker's cell]
The Joker: [taps his cell walls] Sorry, hun. Bulletproof.
Harley Quinn: Even better, puddin'.
[She fires through an air hole of the cell. Joker ducks as the bullet ricochets wildly around the walls]

[Deadshot finds Harley in his bed]
Deadshot: What do you want?
Harley Quinn: I got an itch I thought you could help me scratch, cowboy...
[Angry, Deadshot throws her down on the bed and pins her arms above her head]
Harley Quinn: WHOO! Good start!
Deadshot: Oh, what the hell...
[He starts making out with Harley. She wraps her legs around him and they both tumble off the bed with a crash... ]
Harley Quinn: Yahtzee!

[repeated line]
Harley Quinn: Yahtzee!

[all the criminals Waller assembled see each other]
Harley Quinn: AW CRAP! Not this again!
Captain Boomerang: [to Deadshot] You too? It's like a bloody recurring nightmare.

[arriving in Arkham through a parachute]
Harley Quinn: Don't worry! I landed on my head!

Harley Quinn: [to Captain Boomerang] Go wave your boomer-Wang at the shark guy!
King Shark: [Aggressively] Do it and I'll bite it off!

Harley Quinn: [to Batman, about the Joker] Sure, he slaps me around a lot. But you're the one who's always hurting me!


"The New Batman Adventures: Mad Love (#2.11)" (1999)
Harley Quinn: That's a real gasser, right Mr. J?
The Joker: [grabbing Harley by the hat] I make the punchlines here! Got it?
Harley Quinn: Yes sir.

[Joker bursts from the door, to see Batman hanging above a tank filled with piranas]
The Joker: HARLEY!
Harley Quinn: Hi, Puddin'! You're just in time to see the...
[Joker slaps Harley across the room, then turns to Batman]
The Joker: Excuse me just a minute.
Harley Quinn: But Puddin', I-I don't understand! Didn't you want to finally get rid of Batman?
The Joker: Only if I do it, idiot!
Harley Quinn: But it's still your plan, see?
[shows him his blueprints]
Harley Quinn: Everything just like you said, except I hung the guy upside down so he sees the little frowns as little smiles. Now it all works!
[Joker grabs the blueprints and tears them up]
The Joker: Except you had to *explain* it to me! If you have to explain a joke, THERE IS NO JOKE!
[He advances on Harley, growling. Nervously, she grabs hold of a swordfish]
Harley Quinn: Now calm down, Puddin'...
The Joker: You've forgotten what I told you a long time ago. One of the painful truths of comedy...
[grabs the swordfish out of her hands]
The Joker: YOU ALWAYS TAKE SHOTS FROM FOLKS WHO JUST DON'T GET THE JOKE!
[Joker whacks Harley with the swordfish, sending her crashing out the window and plunging down several stories to land in a pile of garbage, apparently dead]
The Joker: And don't call me Puddin'.

Dr. Harleen Quinzel: [last lines, as a heavily bandaged Harleen is taken into Arkham Assylum] Never again. No more obsession, no more craziness, no more Joker. I finally see that slime for what he is: a murderous, manipulative, irredeemable...
[she turns her head to see a rose on her bedside table with a note attatched saying "Feel better soon. - J."]
Harley Quinn: ...angel!

Harley Quinn: You know, for what it's worth, I actually enjoyed some of our romps, but there comes a time when a gal wants more. And now, all this gal wants is to settle down with her lovin' sweetheart.
Batman: You, and the Joker?
Harley Quinn: Right-a-rooney.
[Batman laughs]
Harley Quinn: I've never seen you laugh before! I don't think I like it!
[Batman laughs even harder]
Harley Quinn: Cut it out! You're giving me the creeps!
Batman: You little fool. The Joker doesn't love anything except himself. Wake up, Harleen. He had you pegged for hired help the minute you walked into Arkham.
Harley Quinn: That's not - no. NO! He told me things, secret things that he never told anyone!
Batman: Was it his line about the abusive father? Or the one about the runaway mom. He's gained a lot of sympathy with that one.
Harley Quinn: Stop it! You're making me confused!
Batman: What was it he told that one parole officer... Oh yeah, "There was only one time I ever saw Dad really happy. He took me to the Ice Show when I was seven."
Harley Quinn: [softly] Circus... He said it was the Circus.
Batman: He's got a million of them, Harley.
Harley Quinn: [wiping away her tears] YOU'RE WRONG! MY PUDDIN' DOES LOVE ME! HE DOES! You're the problem! And now you're gonna die and make everything right!

Harley Quinn: Oh, come on, Puddin'! Don't you wanna rev up your "Harley"? Vroom vroom!

Harley Quinn: Face it, Harl, this stinks! You're a certified nutso wanted in twelve states and hopelessly in love with a psychopathic clown. At wait point did my life go Looney Tunes? How did it happen? Who's to blame?... Batman, that's who. Batman! It's always been Batman! Ruining my life, spoiling my fun! Coming between me and my Puddin' from the very beginning...


"Batman: The Animated Series: Harlequinade (#2.10)" (1994)
Harley Quinn: You thought I was just another bubble-headed blond bimbo! Well, the joke's on you, 'cause I'm not even a real blonde.

[fleeing the city]
Harley Quinn: But what about all our friends? Ivy and Two-Face and... Hat Guy and Lizard Man and Puppet Head and...
The Joker: What about them?
Batman: Don't forget your little pets!
Harley Quinn: [gasp] The babies! We can't leave the babies!
The Joker: I'll buy you a goldfish. Let's go!

[Batman has released Harley Quinn from Arkham to help him find the Joker. While they are riding along in the Batmobile:]
Harley Quinn: [reaches for the dashboard] I want to listen to the radio!
Batman: Don't!
[She pushes a button, and a drag chute deploys from the Batmobile's rear, causing the car to swerve wildly, until Batman brakes to a stop]
Harley Quinn: Oops.
Batman: Listen, and listen good. You don't touch anything, say anything, or *do* anything unless I tell you! GOT IT?
Harley Quinn: [small voice] Yes, sir.

[after Harley ties up Batman and Robin with a cable gun stolen from the Batmobile]
Harley Quinn: Gee, it's amazing the things you find in people's glove compartments.

Harley Quinn: Oh, the irony of it! The stalwart Dark Knight and his greatest female adversary, working together to save the city!
[She takes Batman's hand and raises it into the air with hers - cut to her hands, handcuffed in her lap, as she rides shotgun in the Batmobile]
Harley Quinn: I sense a lack of trust.

Harley Quinn: Did you see the way I handled those creeps? Pow! Bam! Batgirl, eat your heart out!
Robin: What was she before she went bonkers?
Batman: A clinical psychiatrist.
Robin: Figures.


"Batman: The Animated Series: The Man Who Killed Batman (#1.49)" (1993)
Harley Quinn: Gee, boss, you really know how to put the fun in funeral.

[Harvey Bullock looks suspiciously at a lawyer]
Detective Harvey Bullock: Hey, don't I know you from somewhere?
Harley Quinn: I believe I served you with a subpoena once... It was a small subpoena.

The Joker: You know, there's just one thing bothering me about your story, Sidney. No body. No Batus delecti, if you will. We need to pull a job tonight to be sure.
Murphy: Be sure of what, boss?
The Joker: [doing a double-take at Murphy] Why that old Batsy's bought the cave, of course. And one more thing, Murphy... don't ask stupid questions.
[Joker pushes Murphy into the midst of Harley Quinn's two hyenas, who claw off his shirt and lick him silly]
Harley Quinn: I'll get the mop.

Harley Quinn: [covered in jewels] Whheee! Look at all the pretties!
The Joker: Put them back, Harley.
Harley Quinn: Awww, you're such a kidder, Mr J. You never could...
The Joker: [grabbing Harley in a chokehold] I said put them back!
[tosses her across the room]
Harley Quinn: [shocked] S-s-sure, boss. I can do that. This is me putting them back. No problemo...

[Sid's lawyer uses a powder puff on her face intensively]
Sidney Debris: [coughing] Lady, ease off on the make-up!
Harley Quinn: My boss likes me to wear a smile to work...


"Batman: The Animated Series: Harley and Ivy (#1.47)" (1993)
Harley Quinn: Hey aren't you that plant lady... Poison Oaky?
Poison Ivy: IVY! Poison Ivy!

Harley Quinn: I remember I used to go driving like this with Mr. J...
Poison Ivy: [mockingly] "Mr. J., Mr. J.!" Oh, change the record, Harl!

[a trio of Frat boys pull up alongside Harley and Ivy, and make some lewd comments]
Poison Ivy: Now boys, didn't your mommies teach you that's not the way to get a lady's attention?
Frat Boy: [slaps his butt] And what are you gonna do, spank me?
Harley Quinn: That's right, pigs!
[raises a grenade gun]
Harley Quinn: And here's the paddle!
[yelling, the boys leap out of their car and run just before Harley blows it to pieces]

[as Harley prepares to steal the "Harlequin Diamond"]
Harley Quinn: Ooh-ooh, Mr. J is gonna plotz when he sees this...! No. No, I'm keeping this one just for myself... maybe.

[last lines; everyone is back in Arkham]
The Joker: That's it. The next time I start a gang, no women. YOU HEAR ME? NO WOMEN!
[outside, Harley and Ivy are tending the vegetable patch]
Harley Quinn: I think we can still work it out, don't you?
[Ivy flings a handful of soil in her face]


Batman: Vengeance (2001) (VG)
[Harley Quinn drops a mallet on Batman's head, Joker catches it in mid-fall]
The Joker: Careful, Harley. You'll kill him.
Harley Quinn: But...
The Joker: But nothing. You're my hench-wench. Less wench, more hench, you molly-coddling little twit. Nobody kills the bat but me. Like so...
[Batman and Joker begin fighting]

Harley Quinn: Murderer.
Batman: Harley...
Harley Quinn: No. Leave me alone. I'm through.
[she backs away from the Batman]
Harley Quinn: No more love. No more crime. No more nothing. I'm through...
[sobs]

Harley Quinn: [singing] Take a break and play a while, doo da, doo da. Guaranteed I'll make you smile, oh the doo da day.

The Joker: [halfway through the Batman vs. Joker fight] Uh, Harley, a little help here, slugger?
Harley Quinn: [to herself] Ooooo, now he needs my help, 'less wench' he says, 'more hench' he says.
[shouts]
Harley Quinn: You're on your own, puddin'!
The Joker: That Harley; won't kill for you, can't kill without you!
[goes back to fighting]

The Joker: So, after that, we're home free. Our friend in tights takes the bait, and after we lure him in, we string him up and drop him in the drink! Ha-ha-ha...! Any questions?
Thug: Yeah, well boss... me and some of the other guys were thinking, since we're fighting the Bat and all that, maybe we're not getting paid as much as we should. I mean, when I was working for the Penguin, we was getting benefits and a 401-k...
[Harley charges out of the shadows and hits him over the head with a mallet]
Harley Quinn: Well, now you're working for Mr. J, you chowderhead. You'll do what he says, and take what he gives, and hope it is not - A BULLET!
The Joker: Baby, you're the best!


Batman: Arkham Asylum (2009) (VG)
Quincy Sharp: Let me go, you crazy bitch.
Harley Quinn: Ooh, Sharpy used a bad word. Mama spank.
Quincy Sharp: Aah! AAAAAH! Aaah!

The Joker: [during a patient interview] He's crazy, you know.
Harley Quinn: Who, Batman?
The Joker: No, Santa Claus. Of course Batman! Always Batman!

Harley Quinn: Ooh, that's gotta hoit!

Harley Quinn: This old man looks like he's gonna pee himself. Someone bring me a bucket.


Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker (2000) (V)
Batgirl: How could you help Joker do it, Harley?
Harley Quinn: Okay, so he roughed the kid up a little. But I'll make it right.
Batgirl: Yeah, you're Mother of the Stinkin' Year!

Harley Quinn: Sweetie, go get mommy's bazooka.

Harley Quinn: You rotten little scamps! I struggle to make a good home for you and this is the thanks I get!
[whacks both Dee Dee's with her cane]
Harley Quinn: Break a grandmother's heart! I hope they throw the book at you!
Dee Dee: Oh, shut up, Nana Harley.


Injustice: Gods Among Us (2013) (VG)
Harley Quinn: [after fighting him] It's you. The way you move... The way you...
The Joker: Pummel?
Harley Quinn: Well... Yeah.
The Joker: It's the love. You could feel the love, right?

The Joker: [after defeating Batman] Now, where was I before I was so rudely...
Harley Quinn: [Coming in] Pumped full o' lead?
The Joker: [Turns around and sees an alternate Harley Quinn] Harley?
Harley Quinn: Har*leen*. A little bird told me some creep was dressed up as The Joker, fighting a Batman wannabe. You got the look, and a lot of nerve. What you don't have is the right.
[Nudges The Joker]
Harley Quinn: The Joker was a hero, you're not fit to lick his boutonniere.
The Joker: Harley, it's me. I'm The Joker. Look. it says so right here on my underwear.
[Looks at his pants and Harleen fires a shot next to The Joker]
Harley Quinn: Not funny, creep. No one pretends to be my Mr. J.

The Joker: [setting the nuke] Let's see, baldy said remember to... Ah! There we are.
Harley Quinn: Mr. J, it works! Oh!
[she sees Batman coming]
Harley Quinn: Uh-oh.
The Joker: Harley, wait in the van. Batman and I have to talk.
Harley Quinn: But...
[he slaps her]
The Joker: Go. No one likes a third wheel.


"Batgirl: Spoiled: Little Lost (Bat)Girl (#1.2)" (2013)
Catwoman: You're brave, kid, but you need to learn to choose your battles.
Batgirl: I don't know if I would you use the word "choose".
Harley Quinn: Then you shoulda run.
Batgirl: Not my style.
Catwoman: Is being dead your style?
Batgirl: I don't know. I've already died once - it didn't stop me.

Catwoman: Harley! Ivy says it's time to go.
Harley Quinn: She gonna be okay to leave alone?
Catwoman: *He's* coming. We have to go.

Harley Quinn: Listen, Minibat, if you ever need a friend, we're not enemies.
Catwoman: Don't be a stranger.


Batman: Arkham City (2011) (VG)
[from trailer]
Harley Quinn: It'd be a shame to get blood all over my nice new outfit.
[Strikes Batman with a baseball bat]

(none): [Easter egg, over credits]
Harley Quinn: Shhhhh, there there...
Harley Quinn: [singing] Hush, little baby, don't say a word / Momma's gonna kill for you the whole damn world.

Harley Quinn: Coming through, B-Man.
[Approaches Batman who shoves Harley to the ground]
Joker Thug: Let the lady go, Bat-freak. Or all these people get a bullet in their heads.
Harley Quinn: [Getting up] I think you should do what he says. It'll be a shame to get blood all over my nice new outfit. What do you think, Bat-brain, like it? What am I kidding, of course you do, who wouldn't? So anyway, here's the deal, Mr. J is really not up for a visit right now, he's not feeling himself. Well he was earlier, but that's not what I meant. He's not doing so good and that idiot doctor I sent from here didn't help. I've seen more smarts from *these* bozos. I've gotta run, boys. If he tries anything funny, kill him!


"Batman: The Animated Series: Harley's Holiday (#3.6)" (1994)
Harley Quinn: I'm having a BAD DAY! I'm sick of people trying to shoot me, run me over or blow me up!

Harley Quinn: I got one question. I've been nothing but trouble. How come you've been so nice to me?
Batman: I know what it's like to try to rebuild a life.
[He holds up a bag, and gives her the dress she wanted to buy, before getting in so much trouble]
Batman: I had a bad day too, once.
[Ecstatically, she takes the dress, then stands on tiptoe to kiss his cheek]
Harley Quinn: Nice guys like you shouldn't have bad days.

Dr. Joan Leland: You've made wonderful progress, Harley. You've passed your competency hearing, and tomorrow, you will be released, mentally sane and sound.
Harley Quinn: [Begins jumping up and down] Weee! Wahoo! Whoopee! Yay! Yay! Yay!
[Regains composure]
Harley Quinn: Uh... I mean thank you, Dr. Leland.
Dr. Joan Leland: That's ok. You have every reason to be proud of yourself.
The Scarecrow: [shouting off screen] Unhand me!
Dr. Joan Leland: I just wish the other inmates could make your sort of progress.
[Batman and Robin are seen bringing in the Scarecrow]
The Scarecrow: I am the master of fear! The lord of despair! Cower before me in witless deter!
Harley Quinn: Hi, Professor Crane.
The Scarecrow: [Completely calm] Good evening, child.
[to Batman and Robin]
The Scarecrow: Worship me, fools! Worship me! Scream hosannas of anguish to Scarecrow, the all-terrible god of fear!
[the orderlies come to take him away]
Robin: I think he's getting better.


Lego Batman 2: DC Super Heroes (2012) (VG)
Poison Ivy: Hey! What's going on?
Harley Quinn: It's a riddle!
Riddler: Hey! That's my thing.

Harley Quinn: You wanna play? Okay, let's play!


"Batman: The Animated Series: The Laughing Fish (#1.46)" (1993)
The Joker: If this lunch meat figured out where we are, Batman won't be far behind. And why spoil my sharky's appetite, when I can feed him bigger fish?
Harley Quinn: Eyugh! Again with the fish, I *hate* fish!
[off Joker's glare]
Harley Quinn: Uh, no offense, Mr. J.
The Joker: Poor Harley. This entire caper's been really rough on you, hasn't it?
Harley Quinn: Uh-huh.
The Joker: Cheer up! You can be my very own little mermaid.
[Harley squeals with joy, then Joker pulls a giant rubber fish head over her, and laughs]
Harley Quinn: You're really sick, you know that, boss?
The Joker: Mmm-hmmm.

[on TV Harley stands in the kitchen wearing a "kiss the cook" apron. The Joker's men are made up as young children]
Harley Quinn: They're finny and funny and oh so delish. They're joyful and jolly. Jokerfish!
The Joker: Say, Mom, wondering what to feed the family tonight?
Harley Quinn: What'll I feed the family tonight?
[the Joker enters wearing a raincoat and hat. He looks like an old sea captain]
The Joker: Arr! Try me famous Joker fish. There's Smiling Smelt, Giggling Grouper and Happy Haddock.
Alfred Pennyworth: [Watching with Batman] This could cause a stampede to pork.
The Joker: [He holds up a fork with a morsel of fish to Harley's mouth] Yummy yum yum. Eat it!
Harley Quinn: Uh, Mr. J? I have this little problem with fish.
[he shoves the food into her mouth]
Harley Quinn: [With her mouth full] Yummy yum yum.
[Harley steps offscreen. The Joker turns to face the camera]
The Joker: Yes, friends, that's Jokerfish.
[Harley is heard puking up the fish]
The Joker: Tasty, tempting, and of course...
Joker's Men: Naturally low in cholesterol.
The Joker: Coming to your local store.
[He begins to grow angry]
The Joker: As soon as that nasty Mr. G. Carl Francis decides to give me my legal cut of the profits!


"The New Batman Adventures: Beware the Creeper (#2.10)" (1998)
[Harley slowly rises out of an oversized cream pie]
Harley Quinn: [singing] Happy anniversary, Mr. J / You're really swell and okay / It's seven years to the day-hey / Take the night off, let's play...
[the Joker watches, gobsmacked]
The Joker: Harley...
Harley Quinn: Wanna try some of my pie?
The Joker: Harley.
Harley Quinn: I'm sure you'll want seconds.

Harley Quinn: Think Bats saw you, puddy tat?
The Joker: Oh, he did! He did! He'd never miss a show about me! He's my biggest fan!


"Batman: The Animated Series: Joker's Favor (#1.7)" (1992)
The Joker: Guess I'll have to find a new hobby now that old Charlie Collins is... Pfft!
Harley Quinn: Macrame's nice.
[explosion]
The Joker: That came from outside! Rocco, Henshaw! I smell a bat!

Harley Quinn: Here's to Gotham's Commissioner G. You lock up the weirdos, the crooks, and the geeks. You're a hero to all the boys in blue. But this time, baby, the joke's on you!


"Batman: The Animated Series: Almost Got 'im (#1.35)" (1992)
Harley Quinn: It's Late Night Gotham Live, and here's the man who puts a smile on your face whether you want it or not, The Joker!
The Joker: Good evening folks, I'm The Joker: living proof that you don't have to be crazy to host this show, but it helps! Ha ha!

[Harley switches on the machine, sending Catwoman on a conveyor belt toward a meat grinder, then runs for the door. Batman swoops down and grabs her]
Harley Quinn: Gee, Batman, what are you gonna do? Kick me around or save your kitty? You've only got time for one.
[Without letting go of her, Batman turns to the wall, opens the electric panel, and throws the master switch. The machine stops]
Harley Quinn: [weakly] Heh heh... good call. Help!


"Batman: The Animated Series: Trial (#2.9)" (1994)
Harley Quinn: I just wanna say, if there was no Batman, there'd be no Joker, and I'd have never met my Puddin'. Thank you, Batman.
[Batman glares at her]
D.A. Janet Van Dorn: Sad, isn't it. Harleen Quinzel was a doctor here at Arkham until the Joker twisted her mind.
Harley Quinn: Ha! You're just jealous because you don't have a fella who's as lovin' and loyal to you as my Puddin' is to me!
D.A. Janet Van Dorn: Ah-ha. And I suppose it was that same "loyalty" I saw the last time you escaped and "Puddin'" here...
[points to the Joker]
D.A. Janet Van Dorn: ...finked on you in hopes of getting time off!
Harley Quinn: Is that true, Puddin'?
The Joker: [sheepishly] "Finked" is such an ugly word...
Harley Quinn: [grabs the Joker and starts shaking him] You lousy, scum sucking creep!
The Joker: The witness is excused!

Scarface: Court is now in session! The Good People of Arkham Asylum vs. the self-righteous vigilante called Batman! Our prosecutor is ready, likewise our fair and impartial jury!
The Mad Hatter: Hang him!
Harley Quinn: Shoot him!
Killer Croc: Hit him with a rock!
Scarface: And now, all rise for the most honorable, most benevolent, most merciful Judge Joker!
The Joker: [bangs gavel] Guilty!
D.A. Janet Van Dorn: I was promised a chance to defend my client!
The Joker: Oh, very well. Like it'll make a difference.


"Super Power Beat Down: Joker & Harley Quinn vs Deadpool & Domino (#1.16)" (2015)
[Harley gets the drop on Domino]
Harley Quinn: Well, well, well. Looks like someone's luck ran out.
Domino: I make my own luck
[Domino pulls the trigger on her machine pistol, but the gun jams]

Deadpool: Hey, cutie! Time to die!
Harley Quinn: Wait! Want to see a movie?
[Harley opens her blouse, revealing her ample cleavage]


"The New Batman Adventures: Holiday Knights (#1.1)" (1997)
[Bruce Wayne backs up and falls down an open elevator shaft]
Harley Quinn: Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! We-we killed him!... Oh well.
Poison Ivy: We were going to do it anyway.
Harley Quinn: We got his credit cards; what's to worry?

[first lines]
Harley Quinn: I'm depressed, Red. Here it is holiday time and we're hiding out in this dingy rat trap. No presents, no fun, no nothin'. Can't we at least get a Christmas tree?
Poison Ivy: What? And support the mad campaign of botanical genocide that grips this country every December?
Harley Quinn: But Christmas trees are so bright and fun and pretty. Oh, please? Please? Please? Please?


Joker Rising (2013)
Harley: Sometimes, to get where you want to go, you gotta be somebody else for a while. You just can't forget who you really are.
Cyrus: What if I do forget?
Harley: Then you'd be crazy.


"The New Batman Adventures: Girl's Night Out (#2.7)" (1998)
Livewire: [after Harley splashes water on Livewire] Are you out of your mind?
Harley Quinn: [Thinks for a minute] Yeah.


"Birds of Prey: Three Birds and a Baby (#1.4)" (2002)
Harley Quinn: [to Her Chief Henchman] Now, take your men and go find my baby. It shouldn't be too difficult. Just follow the mayhem.


Batman: Anarchy (2016)
Harley Quinn: We are all villains.


"Batgirl: Spoiled: Blindside (#1.1)" (2012)
Harley Quinn: [chuckling] Well, you should be more careful, Baby Bat.


"The New Batman Adventures: Joker's Millions (#1.7)" (1998)
Poison Ivy: You're pathetic, you know that?
Harley Quinn: Come on, Red. So Mr. J. was a little stressed about money. Now that he's loaded, Puddin'll buy my way out, too.
Poison Ivy: Oh yeah, right, sure thing, Harl.
[shows Harley the newspaper frontpage]
Harley Quinn: [reading headline] "Joker seeks new henchgirl"?
[exterior shot of Arkham]
Harley Quinn: I'LL KILL HIM!


"Justice League: Wild Cards: Part II (#2.22)" (2003)
Batman: Harley, where's Joker?
Harley Quinn: After all these years, you still think I'd give up Mr. J?
Batman: Why not? He gave you up.
Harley Quinn: That was a long time ago. He's changed. We've been to couples counseling.
Batman: I'm talking about right now. Or haven't you been watching the show?


Injustice 2 (2017) (VG)
Harley Quinn: [from trailer] It's snack time, boys!


DC Universe Online (2011) (VG)
Harley Quinn: If I'd had a hammer, I'd hammer in the evening, I'd hammer in the morning, all over your skull!