Lois Lane
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Quotes for
Lois Lane (Character)
from Superman (1978)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
Superman Returns (2006)
Lois Lane: But millions of people will die!
Lex Luthor: Billions! Once again, the press underestimates me.

Lois Lane: How many "f's" in "catastrophic"?

Lois Lane: [gasps after Lex comes out of the bathroom] Lex Luthor!
Lex Luthor: [toothbrush in mouth] Lois Lane?
Jason White: You're bald!

Lex Luthor: What do you know about crystals?
Lois Lane: They make great chandeliers.

Superman: Listen; what do you hear?
Lois Lane: Nothing.
Superman: I hear everything. You wrote that the world doesn't need a savior, but every day I hear people crying for one.

Lois Lane: [after being locked in the pantry on Lex's yacht and discovering that her son is Superman's] Could you help mommy open this door?

Jason White: Mommy, are we trespassing?
Lois Lane: No. Yes. Shh!

Lois Lane: Well you're back and everyone seems happy about it.
Superman: Not everyone.

Jimmy Olsen: Look up in the sky, see?
[Points at a small figure of Superman in the picture]
Lois Lane: It's a bird
Perry White: It's a plane
Jimmy Olsen: No, it's...
[Is interrupted by the entrance of Clark]
Clark Kent: You wanted to see me?

Superman: I know lots of people are asking questions now that I'm back, and I think it's only fair that I answer... those people.
Lois Lane: So... you're here for an interview?

Lois Lane: You know my um... Richard. He's a pilot. He takes me up all the time.
Superman: Not like this.

Lois Lane: I don't know if you can hear me. They say that sometimes when people are... that they can hear you.

Lex Luthor: Come on, let me hear you say it, just once.
Lois Lane: You're insane.
Lex Luthor: No!
[chuckling]
Lex Luthor: Not that. The other thing. Come on, I know it's dangling on the tip of your tongue. Let me hear it just once, please?
Lois Lane: Superman will never...
Lex Luthor: WRONG!

Lois Lane: Richard's an assistant editor here who's basically saved our International section. He's also a pilot and he loves horror movies.
Clark Kent: [sighs theatrically, trying to appear impressed]
Lois Lane: [to Richard] Clark is...
Clark Kent: [smirks at her expectantly]
Lois Lane: Well...
[chuckles]
Lois Lane: he's Clark.

Lois Lane: But there are a dozen other stories out there.
Perry White: Yeah? Name one.
Lois Lane: Well, there was a museum robbery last night. Hmm? Even Superman missed that one... he was too busy saving this hooker.
[points at photo of Superman carrying Kitty]

[leans in to kiss Superman, but pulls back at the last moment]
Lois Lane: Richard's a good man... and you've been gone a long time.

Lex Luthor: But we're not really strangers, are we? This is kind of a little reunion, isn't it? Heck, I'm a fan. I love your writing... and your dress.
Lois Lane: I love your boat. How'd you get it? Swindle some old widow out of her money?
Lex Luthor: [gushes and chuckles mockingly] That's funny. Hey, didn't you win the Pulitzer Prize for my favorite article of all time, 'Why the World DOESN'T Need Superman'?
Lois Lane: Didn't you have a few more years to go on that DOUBLE life sentence?
Lex Luthor: [pause as he glares at her] Yes, well, we can thank the Man of Steel for that. I mean, he's really good at swooping in and catching the bad guys, but he's not so hot at the little things, like Miranda rights, due process,
[under his breath]
Lex Luthor: making your court date...

[last lines]
Jason White: [Yells and waves from his window] GOOD NIGHT!
Lois Lane: [Lois is standing in the front yard thinking about Superman, she is then startled when she hears Jason, she sees Jason waving out to the sky, she then looks at the sky and sees Superman floating right above her] I... Will we see you... around?
Superman: I'm always around. Good night, Lois.
[Flies off]

Lois Lane: [about Jason] He's a little fragile, but he's gonna grow up to be big and strong... just like his dad.

Superman: I read the article, Lois.
Lois Lane: Yeah, so did a lot of people. Tomorrow night, they're giving me the Pulitzer...
Superman: Why did you write it?
Lois Lane: How could you leave us like that? I moved on. So did the rest of us. That's why I wrote it. The world doesn't need a savior. And neither do I.

Lois Lane: Chief, I've done Superman.
[Jimmy snickers. Lois, Clark, and Perry look at him]
Lois Lane: Covered him. You know what I mean.

[to Superman]
Lois Lane: I forgot how warm you are.

Lois Lane: How did you get here?
Richard White: I flew.

Richard White: Lois, that article you wrote.
Lois Lane: "Why the world doesn't need Superman?"
Richard White: No the other one.
Lois Lane: Which one? I wrote dozens of them, I was practically his press agent.
Richard White: The one from years ago before we met, "I spent the night with Superman".
Lois Lane: Richard it was the title of an interview plus it was your Uncle Perry's idea.
Richard White: I know.
Richard White: Were you in love with him?
Lois Lane: He was Superman. Everyone was in love with him.
Richard White: Even you?
Lois Lane: [pause] ... No.

Lois Lane: Well, you're back and everyone seems happy about it.
Superman: Not everyone.

[Lex notices Jason staring at the Kryptonite in fear]
Lex Luthor: Who is that boy's father?
Lois Lane: Richard.
[Grant's voice comes over the intercom]
Grant: Mr. Luthor, we're approaching the coordinates.
Lex Luthor: [to Lois, ignoring Grant] Are you sure?
Grant: [misunderstanding] Yes sir.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Operation Blackout (#2.6)" (1994)
Lois Lane: So an old friend tried to kill me, these things happen. Okay, they happen to me.

Clark Kent: Gee, Lois, if you were thirsty, all you had to do was say something.
Lois Lane: Clark, this isn't just any beer!
Clark Kent: I know. "It goes with sun and good times!"

Lois Lane: What are we going to tell her? "Your boyfriend's back and we think he's starting trouble. Hey-la, dey-la"?

Andy Tucker: Nice to meet you.
Lois Lane: You too.
Andy Tucker: What?
Jimmy Olsen: She said, "You too."
Andy Tucker: Me too, what?

Lois Lane: [hugging a fax machine] Oh, it's true. You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone.

Superman: [as Lois is clinging to a flagpole] I know you probably got this covered, but...
Lois Lane: Well, as long as you're not doing anything...

Lois Lane: Everything about that guy was phony.
Clark Kent: Including his death.

Jimmy Olsen: [about the military's new weapon] Check it out! Killer robot!
Lois Lane: Actually the A.T.A.S is an all-terrain automated soldier.
Jimmy Olsen: What's the difference?
Clark Kent: About $100,000 worth of tax payer money in propaganda.

Lois Lane: You getting anywhere?
Clark Kent: No. But now I know all 5 verses to "Windy."

Lois Lane: Is this a picture of your feet?
Jimmy Olsen: [sheepishly] Yeah, but you can see the killer robot between them.

Lois Lane: I suppose you've kept in touch with all your college friends?
Clark Kent: Well, yeah.
Lois Lane: Well sure, I mean, that's easy when you go to Smallville U, with a graduating class of 10 farmers and a cow!

Lois Lane: Just what are you chanting for?
Lead Chanter: Inner peace and brotherhood. Now go away!

Lois Lane: Can you get Washington on that thing?
Perry White: Well, sure. I could get Paris if I wanted to. Unfortunately I'd have to talk to the French.

Perry White: That was Stormin' Norman on the shortwave.
Clark Kent: Schwartzkopf?
Lois Lane: Haberstatzer. I'll explain later.

Clark Kent: You stole a jeep?
Lois Lane: I didn't steal it. I'm returning it to the base. Here put these on.
Clark Kent: How did you...Never mind. I don't want to know.

Lois Lane: It's not technology she's against. It's people like you.
Molly Flynn: Yeah! Well actually I am against technology, Lois.

Lois Lane: Ha! So you admit it!
Molly Flynn: All right, I admit it. But we're still gonna die, so what good does it do?
Lois Lane: Well I feel a little better.

Lois Lane: Do you think I always have to be right?
Clark Kent: Well...not *always*.

Lois Lane: Do you think I'm a good friend?
Clark Kent: Lois, I think you're a great friend.

Lois Lane: Notice I didn't say anything about myself?
Clark Kent: I did.
Lois Lane: But you could.
Clark Kent: I could.

Molly Flynn: [about crystals] They have incredible healing properties. You can wear them or you can meditate with them on your forehead.
Lois Lane: [attempting to balance it on her head] Wouldn't it fall off?
Clark Kent: Uh, Lois, you're supposed to do that lying down.
Lois Lane: I knew that.

Lois Lane: I'm gonna fax an order to the pizza place. You want anything?
Clark Kent: How about a delivery person who is interested in my opinion.

Clark Kent: [reading from Lois' old yearbook] "To Stretch, No one swings like you do. Love, Teddy." Stretch?
Lois Lane: We were in gymnastics together. He was trying to be cute.
Clark Kent: Stretch. I like it.
Lois Lane: And it's the last time you'll lose it.


Superman (1978)
Lois Lane: Any more at home like you?
Clark Kent: Uh, not really, no.

Clark Kent: Excuse me, Mr. White. I was wondering if, if, uh, perhaps you could arrange for half my salary to be sent to this address on a weekly basis.
Lois Lane: Your bookie, right?
Clark Kent: My what?
Lois Lane: Don't tell me: he sends a check every week to his sweet, grey-haired old mother.
Clark Kent: Actually, she's silver-haired.

Clark Kent: Really, Lois, supposing that man had shot you? Is it worth risking your life over ten dollars, two credit cards, a hairbrush, and a lipstick?
Lois Lane: How did you know that?
Clark Kent: Know what?
Lois Lane: You just described the exact contents of my purse.
[Clark peeks in her purse]
Clark Kent: Hmm. Uh, wild guess.

Superman: Easy, miss. I've got you.
Lois Lane: You - you've got me? Who's got you?

[Superman and Lois are standing on opposite sides of a large planter]
Lois Lane: What color underwear am I wearing?
Superman: [looking] Hmmm...
Lois Lane: Oh, I'm sorry, I embarrassed you, didn't I?
Superman: Oh, no, no, no, not at all, Miss Lane, it's just that this planter must be made of lead.
Lois Lane: Uh, yes it is. So?
Superman: Well, you see, I, uh, I sort of have a problem seeing through lead.
Lois Lane: Oh, that's interesting.
Lois Lane: [Writing] Problem seeing through lead. Hmmm. Uh, d-do you have a first name?
Superman: What do you mean, like, uh, Ralph or something?
Lois Lane: No, no, I mean like...
[walks away from the planter]
Superman: Pink.
Lois Lane: Huh?
Superman: Pink.
[Lois walks back to the planter]
Superman: Um, sorry, Miss Lane, I didn't mean to embarrass you.

Superman: I'm here to fight for truth, and justice, and the American way.
Lois Lane: [laughs] You're gonna end up fighting every elected official in this country!

[Superman surprises Lois on her balcony]
Lois Lane: Um, um, would you like a glass of wine?
Superman: Uh, no, no thanks. I never drink when I fly.

[Interviewing Superman]
Lois Lane: How big are you... um... how *tall* are you?

Lois Lane: Can you read my mind? Do you know what it is that you do to me? I don't know who you are. Just a friend from another star. Here I am, like a kid out of school. Holding hands with a god. I'm a fool. Will you look at me? Quivering. Like a little girl, shivering. You can see right through me. Can you read my mind? Can you picture the things I'm thinking of? Wondering why you are... all the wonderful things you are. You can fly. You belong in the sky. You and I... could belong to each other. If you need a friend... I'm the one to fly to. If you need to be loved... here I am. Read my mind.

Lois Lane: [being rescued, stammering] Who... are you?
Superman: A friend.
[flies away]
Superman: [waves] Bye.
[Lois waves, and stares at Superman, then sinks into a faint]

Lois Lane: What a super man... "Superman"!

Jimmy Olsen: What are you writing, Miss Lane?
Lois Lane: An ode to spring. How do you spell massacre?

Clark Kent: [in Superman's voice] Lois, there's something I have to tell you. I'm really...
[In Clark's voice]
Clark Kent: I-I mean I was, at first, really nervous about tonight, uh... but then I decided, darn it! I'm gonna show you the time of your life.
Lois Lane: [still infatuated with Superman] That's Clark, nice.

Lois Lane: Oh, hi Rex!
Rex Reed: Hey Lois!
Lois Lane: See anything good today?
Rex Reed: Not 'til you came along.
Lois Lane: Oh, Rex, this is, uh...
Clark Kent: Clark Kent.
Rex Reed: Yeah, see you around.

Superman: Uh, you really shouldn't smoke, you know, Miss Lane.
Lois Lane: Don't tell me. Lung cancer, right?
Superman: [x-rays her lungs] Well, not yet, thank goodness.

Lois Lane: As you know, my newspaper, the Daily Planet, is very interested in that dam, Chief, but what I don't understand is why you would sell out to a faceless person that you've never met. I mean, you don't even know his name.
[the Chief taps on Lois' dashboard as she goes off the road]
Lois Lane: Oh, yeah!
Indian Chief: At the stupid high price that he offered for this worthless piece of desert, I hope it's Custer!
Lois Lane: Perfect! That's just what I need. Thank you.


Superman/Doomsday (2007) (V)
Lois Lane: Come on!
Jimmy Olsen: Uh... I'll wait here.
Lois Lane: Oh, for God sake! Don't be such a girl!

Superman: I haven't told you my identity for the same reason we haven't gone public with our relationship. Why we come here to be alone.
Lois Lane: Well, try reading a gossip column. Practically all of Metropolis thinks we're dating anyway. You're clinging to keep one last part of you separate from us. And the only reason that I can fathom is that for an alien, you've developed a very human... very male fear of commitment. We've been together for six months. It would be nice to start calling you something other than Superman!
Robot: He also goes by Kal-El.
Lois Lane: Shut up!

Superman: The Antarctic camouflages Kryptonian crystal tech far better than cacti, but next time you catch a chill, give me a holler. I'll warm you.
Lois Lane: You wouldn't use your heat vision on me, would you, Superman?
Superman: No, just the x-ray.
Lois Lane: You're bad!

Superman: [reading Lois' latest article] There's only one "S" in resurrect.
Lois Lane: I didn't know editing was one of your super powers.
Superman: Well, no, but I was spelling bee champ of Smallville Elementary.
[Lois gasps and looks back to find Superman wearing Clark Kent's glasses]
Lois Lane: Clark!
[runs and jumps into his arms]
Lois Lane: Don't forget to call your mother.
[they kiss]

[Superman has just defeated Doomsday]
Superman: Is everyone... ?
Lois Lane: [starts to cry] You did it, Superman. We're safe. All of us.
Superman: Good. That's... that's all that... matters.

Lois Lane: Look, I know who you are. Why can't you just tell me?
Superman: Lois, I care about you more than anyone else on Earth. To reveal my secret identity would compromise your safety.
Lois Lane: Please. My safety was compromised the moment I met you. How many times have you had to rescue me? Rhetorical.

Jimmy Olsen: So you were right. The Superman who returned...
Lois Lane: A clone, a fake.
Jimmy Olsen: Which means the real Superman really is...
Lex Luthor: Yes, Jimmy. Dead. Just as you and Ms. Lane are about to be. Because, after all, there is no Superman to save you.

Jimmy Olsen: [snapping shots of the battle of the two Supermen] This is starting to look familiar.
Lois Lane: Yeah. Only I'm in no mood for another funeral.

Lois Lane: Ever consider the big "S" may not be what he seems?
Jimmy Olsen: He wears red and blue, flies, crime rate's plummeted since he's risen from the grave. Gosh, you think he's a zombie?
Lois Lane: I'm not sure what he is.

Martha Kent: My son talks about you quite often.
Lois Lane: He's the reason I came to see you.
Martha Kent: Has there been word from Afghanistan? I've been so worried.
Lois Lane: Mrs. Kent, you know as well as I do that your son died in Metropolis last week. Look, I'm not here as a reporter. I...
Martha Kent: Then why are you here, Miss Lane?
Lois Lane: I don't know exactly. Maybe it's just... I don't know if he told you but we have been seeing each other for the past few months, romantically, I mean. And I know the rest of the world adored him and misses him now that he's gone, but no one else on this whole stupid planet can know what it felt like to really love him, to be loved by him or how it feels now every minute of every day, like I'm broken. Like I'm the one that freaking monster pounded on.

Lois Lane: You're dropping me off here? Doomsday's at Hob's End on the East Side.
Superman: Exactly.
Lois Lane: [dials on her cell phone] Jimmy, meet me on the roof, and don't forget your camera.

Jimmy Olsen: Uh, Lois, shouldn't we wait for a pilot?
Lois Lane: I'm an Air Force brat, remember? I was flying these things when you were still in training pants. Now, hang on.

Lois Lane: Jimmy, camera on the action.
[Doomsday leaps up at the helicopter]
Jimmy Olsen: Oh, man, he can jump!
[Superman tears Doomsday off the copter, lands the copter to safety]
Jimmy Olsen: Thanks, Superman.
Jimmy Olsen: [vomits]

Jimmy Olsen: Who's the rocker?
Lois Lane: I don't know, but he's wearing Superman's shield.
Jimmy Olsen: Yeah, but he's also wearing black. Great... bad Superman, and badder Superman.

Perry White: I don't care how many weeks you spent on that story, Lane. The Daily Planet is not about to attack a charity organization.
Lois Lane: You know Lex Luthor couldn't care less about the homeless, chief. It's a front to siphon money back to LexCorp so he can fund the manufacture of high-tech arms to sell on the black market.
Perry White: Allegedly.
Lois Lane: Look, how many exposés do I have to write before Metropolis wakes up and sees through Luthor's philanthropy shtick?
Perry White: As many as it takes, but it helps to have a smoking gun.
Lois Lane: You sure you're not on LexCorp's payroll, chief? You've been mighty soft on the prince of darkness lately.
Perry White: Excuse me for not wanting to get sued for libel... again!
Lois Lane: Well, LexCorp's going down, whether it's me or Superman who does it.
Perry White: If it's Superman, that makes it news and I'll be *happy* to print it!


The Batman Superman Movie: World's Finest (1997) (TV)
Lois Lane: How could you have lied to me like that?
Bruce Wayne: Now I never actually said I wasn't Batman.

Terrorist: Let's make an example of this hero.
[shoves Lois into a seat, buckles her seat belt and pulls it tight]
Terrorist: A very tragic example, I'm afraid, Miss...?
Lois Lane: Lane.
Terrorist: Lane? Lois Lane? The one Superman always saves?
Lois Lane: 'Fraid so.

Lois Lane: Um, Superman.
Superman: Yes?
Lois Lane: Um, how can I put this: I was just thinking... it might be nice to see each other when I wasn't falling out a window or something. Not that I'm not grateful for all the times you've helped me, you understand.
Superman: I understand.
Lois Lane: You do?

[Lois, kicking herself for asking Superman on a date, talks to herself]
Lois Lane: I understand, Lois. Really, you do? Yep, you're a complete moron. Why thank you, Superman, I think I'm a total loser, too. Jeez.

[to Clark Kent, about Bruce Wayne]
Lois Lane: I hear he's nothing but Gotham trash. Rich, spoiled...
[sees Bruce Wayne disembarking from his jet]
Lois Lane: ... and absolutely gorgeous!

Lois Lane: [to The Joker] You sick, demented, murdering freak!
Harley Quinn: [gasp] How rude!

[Batman and Lois Lane are pursued by a deadly robot]
Batman: How do I contact Superman?
Lois Lane: He's out at sea!
Batman: Never around when you need him.

[Lois Lane discovers Bruce Wayne is Batman]
Lois Lane: So when were you going to tell me? The honeymoon?

Lois Lane: I'll get some iodine for that scrape. Burning, STINGING iodine.

[Batman puts on his cowl, ready to leave. Lois Lane walks in]
Lois Lane: Oh, no.
Batman: Has to be done.
Lois Lane: I don't suppose a stern lecture on unnecessary risk-taking is going to sway you.
Batman: Sorry.
Lois Lane: I didn't think so. Just be...
[Batman is gone]
Lois Lane: ... careful.

Lois Lane: You want to know what really galls me? Besides the fact that the new man in my life is really two men? It's that I'm sitting on the hottest story of the year - "Batman Unmasked!" - and there's not a blessed thing I can do about it!
Bruce Wayne: Then you really do love me.

Lois Lane: [typing at her desk] "... the Senator declined comment." Done.
[Bruce appears and kisses her cheek]
Bruce Wayne: And not a moment too soon.
Lois Lane: Bruce! When did you...?
Bruce Wayne: About three paragraphs ago. I didn't want to disturb you.

Lois Lane: Hey, Clark, keep Bruce company for a minute while I see the Chief, okay?
Clark Kent: Uh, Lois...
Lois Lane: Shh, don't be intimidated. Regale him with stories of
[posh voice]
Lois Lane: the nightlife in Smallville.

Clark Kent: [answers phone] Hello?
Lois Lane: Hi, it's me. I just wanted to let you know I'll be in late tomorrow morning. I'm having breakfast with Bruce.
Clark Kent: Isn't that special.
Lois Lane: Do I detect a note of disapproval?
Clark Kent: You were the one who compared him to garbage.
Lois Lane: Well, I was wrong. He's very thoughtful, romantic, and a lot deeper than the tabloids would have you believe.
[Clark looks closer at his cape and sees a miniature bat-shaped tracking device planted on it]
Lois Lane: You'd be surprised.
Clark Kent: Would I now?

Bruce Wayne: [to Lois] I still wish you'd change your mind about Gotham.
Lois Lane: I adore you Bruce, but now there's a lot about you I don't know and I'm not sure I want to know.
Bruce Wayne: I understand.
Lois Lane: Take care of yourself.
[kisses him on the cheek and leaves]


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: The Eyes Have It (#2.12)" (1995)
Clark Kent: [reading research notes] "The non-linear amplifier multiplies the input signal with obvious trigonomic results." Obvious to whom?
Lois Lane: The result would be amplified waves with frequencies equal to the sum and difference of the original frequencies.
Clark Kent: What?
Lois Lane: What did I just say?
Clark Kent: I have absolutely no idea.
Lois Lane: Did I just explain what you were talking about?

Mayson Drake: I heard the call on my scanner. I just came by to make sure you're ok.
Lois Lane: Bulgaria adopted the gold standard in 1897.

Lois Lane: Hi, Mayson. You have more questions for me?
Mayson Drake: No.

Lois Lane: I don't think that's a question I wanna hear when I'm standing out here with a light shining in my face talking to someone I don't know that I can't see.

Lois Lane: You sleep?
Superman: Yes, I sleep.
Lois Lane: I mean, it's not like I thought you were, you know, a bat that flies around all night.

Superman: Lois, when I said I like my bacon crisp, I didn't mean...
[Lois notices that the bacon as caught fire, which Superman puts out with his hand]
Lois Lane: Alternating current is deadlier than direct current.
[both of them look confused]
Lois Lane: Uh...I have some Pop Tarts.

Jimmy Olsen: Lois, have you seen Clark? I need to talk to him.
Lois Lane: You can talk to me.
Jimmy Olsen: It's a guy thing.
Lois Lane: That means it's about prostate trouble or about women. You're too young for prostate trouble. That means you wanna talk to Clark about women.

Lois Lane: Jimmy, I'm going to give you the secret to success about women.
Jimmy Olsen: [excited] You are?
Lois Lane: Yes. The Pacific box jellyfish is the most dangerous animal in the ocean.

Jimmy Olsen: You were gonna tell me the secret of success with women.
Lois Lane: Oh, right. It's...um....It'll come back to me. Probably.
Jimmy Olsen: [disappointed] Secret of the universe, yanked out from underneath me like a cheap rug.

Superman: Lois?
Lois Lane: Yeah, Superman, I'm okay. No, I'm not. I'm mad. I'm furious! It's always the same thing. Where is Clark Kent when anybody needs him?
Superman: Lois, I'm sure he-
Lois Lane: He's supposed to be your friend, but is he here for you? For me?
Superman: I'm sure there's a rational explanation-
Lois Lane: No! His two best friends need his help right now, and where is he?
Superman: If he could be here-
Lois Lane: He's in the mountains with Mayson Drake.

Superman: Lois?
Lois Lane: Over here.
Superman: Do you have any oolong tea?
Lois Lane: Oolong?
Superman: Oolong.
Lois Lane: No. Do you want some?
Superman: If it wouldn't be too much trouble.
Martha Kent: Oolong sounds wonderful.
Jonathan Kent: Come on, Lois. Let's go get these tea drinkers some oolong.

Lois Lane: There are things in my brain that I don't know how they got there. I don't have access to them really. The just sort of leak out from time to time.

Perry White: Maybe it's a good thing the device was destroyed. Technology and human nature are sometimes a volatile mix, aren't they?
Jimmy Olsen: Like Frankenstein.
Lois Lane: In bodies of uniform density, the center of gravity depends on the shape of the body.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: That Old Gang of Mine (#2.7)" (1994)
Lois Lane: [to Clark] I know our relationship has always been difficult to define, but when I thought about how much I missed you, how much I was going to miss you for the rest of my life, well, I started to think, maybe there's more to our relationship than just friendship.
[notices Clark has fallen asleep]
Lois Lane: Or maybe not.

Lois Lane: He died trying to protect me. In one... lousy second... I lost my partner... and my best friend. He died without ever knowing. I never told him...

Lois Lane: Hollywood's created a dozen versions of Frankenstein and you still didn't get the point.

Lois Lane: What are we dealing with here? Some kind of Jurassic Park for humans?

Sammy: Slap a wig on you, put this on, and you're a dead ringer for Madonna.
Lois Lane: Madonna?
Sammy: Yeah.
Lois Lane: That's it, I'm out of here.

Lois Lane: [after Clark explains how he was brought back from the dead] I don't care if they used Krazy glue. You're back!

Bonnie Parker: That's not very lady-like.
Lois Lane: Yeah, well, I'm a woman of the 90s. And you're not much of a lady.

Lois Lane: [outside an illegal club] Hi. We have reservations.
Bouncer: We don't take reservations. What's the password?
Lois Lane: Joe sent me.
Bouncer: Uh-uh.
Lois Lane: The eagle has landed.
Bouncer: Uh-uh.
Lois Lane: Swordfish.
Clark Kent: Swordfish?
Bouncer: I saw that Marx Brothers movie too, lady. Nice try.
Clark Kent: She's just kidding. The fat lady sings.
[to Lois]
Clark Kent: I saw it in an old Untouchables episode.

Lois Lane: [to Hamilton as he sneezes] Instead of playing with DNA you should have found a cure for allergies.

Lois Lane: [shoving cake in Bonnie's face] This is for pulling the lever on the cement mixer.

Clark Kent: We should go call the police.
Lois Lane: You go. I need to find a gray haired lady with a bucket of my nickels.

[after Lois explains to the newly "resurrected" Clark that the gangsters are planning to attack the Daily Planet]
Clark Kent: You go ahead, I'll-
Lois Lane: Oh, no! Not this time! I'm not letting you out of my sight.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Pilot (#1.1)" (1993)
Lois Lane: I'll need a task force. I can't cover this story alone.
Perry White: You can have Jimmy.
Lois Lane: Chief, we're talking about the space program.
Perry White: Ok, take Kent.
Lois Lane: Kent?
Perry White: Kent!
Lois Lane: What about Meyerson?
Perry White: He's busy.
Lois Lane: Burns?
Perry White: Budapest.
Lois Lane: Forget Kent.
Perry White: Uh-uh, he's a good man.
Lois Lane: Kent is a hack from Smallville. I couldn't make that name up.
Perry White: Kent or nobody.
Lois Lane: Fine. Don't ever say that I'm not a team player.

Lois Lane: I said nine, I thought you'd be naked, umm, ready.

Lois Lane: Let me get this straight. You eat like an eight year old and you look like Mr. Hardbody. What's your secret and can I have it?

Lois Lane: You are a strange one, Clark Kent.
Clark Kent: Am I?
Lois Lane: Yeah, but I think I got you figured out.
Clark Kent: Really?
Lois Lane: Umhm
Clark Kent: Didn't take you very long.
Lois Lane: Well, it's my business looking beyond the external. Don't fall for me farmboy. I don't have time for it.

Lucy Lane: I just hate to see you sitting at home.
Lois Lane: I get out plenty. I have dates.
Lucy Lane: You have interviews. It's not the same thing. Lois, I just want you to meet a super guy.

Lois Lane: And let's get something straight. I did not work my buns off to become an investigative reporter for the Daily Planet just to babysit some hack from nowheresville. And one other thing. You're not working with me, you're working for me. I call the shots, I ask the questions. You are low man, I am top banana, and that's the way I like it. Comprende?
Clark Kent: You like to be on top. Got it.
Lois Lane: [gives him a look] Don't push me, Kent. You're *way* out of your league.

Lois Lane: I live by three rules. I never get involved with my stories, I never let anybody else get there first and I never sleep with anyone I work with.

Cat Grant: [whistles at Clark] Who's the new tight end?
Lois Lane: Why don't you throw your usual forward pass and find out?

Lois Lane: [regarding Cat Grant] What do men see in her, anyway? Don't they realize she's just looking for another notch on her garter belt?
Jimmy Olsen: Pathetic.
[pause]
Jimmy Olsen: Have you actually seen this garter belt?

[explaining to the rest of the passengers what happened after her first encounter with Superman]
Lois Lane: [a little dazed] There was a bomb. He...ate it.

Lois Lane: [Lois opens a fortune cookie] It's in Chinese.
Lois Lane: [Clark takes the paper. Lois looks at him mockingly] Oh, don't tell me that you read...
Clark Kent: A good horse is like a member of the family.

Jimmy Olsen: Where are you going?
Lois Lane: [angrily] Nowhere!
Jimmy Olsen: I'm coming, too.


Man of Steel (2013)
Lois Lane: [Voiceover during montage of her searching for Clark] How do you find someone who has spent a lifetime covering his tracks? You start with the urban legends that have sprung up in his wake. All of the friends of a friend who claimed to have seen him. For some, he was a guardian angel. For others, a cipher; a ghost who never quite fit in. As you work your way back in time, the stories begin to form a pattern.

Lois Lane: Why are you surrendering to Zod?
Superman: I'm surrendering to mankind. There's a difference.
Lois Lane: You let them handcuff you?
Superman: Wouldn't be much of a surrender if I resisted. And if it makes them feel more secure, then... then all the better for it.
Lois Lane: What's the 'S' stand for?
Superman: It's not an 'S.' On my world it means 'hope.'
Lois Lane: [smiles] Well, here it's an 'S.' How about... Super-
[interrupted by Dr. Hamilton]

Perry White: Two weeks leave, no pay, that's your penance. You try something like this again, you're done here.
Lois Lane: [turning to leave] Fine.
Perry White: So let's make it three weeks, since you're so willing to agree with me.
Lois Lane: Perry...
Perry White: No, no. Don't. Don't. I believe you saw something, Lois. But not for a moment do I believe that your leads just went cold. So whatever your reasons are for dropping it, I think you're doing the right thing.
Lois Lane: Why?
Perry White: Can you imagine how people on this planet would react if they knew there was someone like this out there?

[last lines]
Lois Lane: Hi, Lois Lane. Welcome to The Planet.
Clark Kent: Glad to be here Lois.

Lois Lane: You know, they say it's downhill after the first kiss.
Superman: I'm pretty sure that only counts when you're kissing a human.

Steve Lombard: Come on, Lois. When are you gonna throw me a bone? Court-side seats to the game tonight. What do you say?
Lois Lane: I say you should go back to trolling the intern pool. You'll probably have more luck. Sorry.

Colonel Nathan Hardy: Miss Lane. I'm Colonel Hardy, U.S. Northcom. Dr. Emil Hamilton from DARPA. You're early.
Dr. Emil Hamilton: Hi.
Colonel Nathan Hardy: We were expecting you tomorrow.
Lois Lane: Which is why I showed up today. Look, let's get one thing straight, guys, okay? The only reason I'm here is because we're on Canadian soil and the appellate court overruled your injunction to keep me away. So, if we're done measuring dicks, can you have your people show me what you found?

Lois Lane: I figured if I turned over enough stones you'd eventually find me. Where are you from? What are you doing here? Let me tell your story.
Clark Kent: What if I don't want my story told?
Lois Lane: It's going to come out eventually. Somebody's going to get a photograph or figure out where you live.
Clark Kent: Well, then I'll just disappear again.
Lois Lane: The only way you could disappear for good is to stop helping people altogether, and I sense that's not an option for you.

Lois Lane: Where did you come from?
Jor-El: The command key, Miss Lane. Thanks to you, I'm uploading to this ship's mainframe.
Lois Lane: Who are you?
Jor-El: I am Kal's father.
Lois Lane: Can you help us?
Jor-El: I designed this ship. I can modify its atmospheric composition to human compatibility. We can stop them. We can send them back to the Phantom Zone.
Lois Lane: How?
Jor-El: I can teach you. And in turn, you can teach Kal. Will you help me?

Faora: Are you the ranking officer here?
General Swanwick: I am.
Faora: [pointing at Lois] General Zod would like this woman to accompany me.
Colonel Nathan Hardy: You asked for the alien. You didn't say anything about one of our own.
Faora: Shall I tell the general you're unwilling to comply?
Colonel Nathan Hardy: I don't care what you tell him.
Lois Lane: It's all right. I'll go.

Lois Lane: [Jor-El's image appears behind Lois] Where did you come from?
Jor-El: The command key Miss Lane; thanks to you, I'm uploading into the ship's mainframe.
Lois Lane: Who are you?
Jor-El: I am Kal's father.
Lois Lane: Can you help us?
Lois Lane: I designed this ship, I can modify its atmospheric composition to human compatibility. We can stop them, we can send them back to the phantom zone.
Lois Lane: How?
Jor-El: I can teach you; and in turn you can teach Kal. Will you help me?
[Scene cuts to ships flying through clouds, and then approaching Earth's surface]
Jor-El: The Ship's crew are alerted. We need to move quickly. Retrieve the command key.
[Lois retrieves the key, and Jor uses power to open door, they are ambushed a moment later by a female guard, Jor uses power to slam the door on her arm]
Lois Lane: Did you do that?
Jor-El: Yes, pick up her sidearm.
Jor-El: [Lois retrieves the weapon then begins to follow Jor down the corridor, scene cuts to Kal escaping from Zod's chambers, then to Earth where spaceships can be seen flying overhead, then returns to the corridors aboard the command ship] To your right, fire. Behind you.
[uses power to slam door. Then guides Lois to escape pod chamber, using power to open the door]
Jor-El: Secure yourself inside the open pod. Safe travels Miss Lane, it's highly unlikely we'll be seeing each other again. Remember, the phantom drives are essential in stopping them... Move your head to the left.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: The Rival (#1.17)" (1994)
Lois Lane: [in a high pitched voice] How can you be so calm?!
Perry White: What's my choice?
Lois Lane: Well, since I've been here, I've seen you scream, I've seen you throw things, I even saw you put your fist through the conference wall once.

Perry White: The Star has been selling twice as many newspapers as the Planet, both newsstand and subscription! Can anybody explain this to me?
Lois Lane: Bigger type, smaller words.

Clark Kent: [pulling a piece of elevator cable out of his desk] You should be happy to see this then.
Lois Lane: ok, I see it. When do I get happy?
Clark Kent: This is elevator cable. I found it in the shaft the day of the accident. Look at the end.
Lois Lane: Well I'm not happy, but I am closing in on bored.

Lois Lane: [not knowing Clark just hid on the ceiling] Where did you hide?
Clark Kent: Uh...here
[pointing to a skinny tree]
Clark Kent: Let's hurry up before he comes back.

Clark Kent: [about Linda] So she stole a story and she stole a guy. And now she's trying to do it again?
Lois Lane: Don't flatter yourself.

Lois Lane: [finding Perry hiding in Clark's closet] Either this is not what I think or something else is going on here.

Clark Kent: You're upset because you think I'm infatuated with Linda King.
Lois Lane: I wouldn't care if you were infatuated with *Don* King!

Linda King: That partner of yours, buns of steel.
Lois Lane: How would you know?
Linda King: Oh come on, Lois. You don't need Superman's x-ray vision to figure that one out.

Lois Lane: You mean I've been having all these feelings for nothing?
Clark Kent: What feelings?
Lois Lane: Never mind. I'm not feeling them anymore.

Clark Kent: [trying to figure out Carpenter's password] Try Kane. K-A-N-E. Linda says he has a Citizen Kane fixation.
Lois Lane: Not it. What else could it be?
Lois Lane, Clark Kent: Rosebud.
Lois Lane: Great minds think alike.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: We Have a Lot to Talk About (#3.1)" (1995)
Clark Kent: I did get things out in the open, starting with "will you marry me."
Lois Lane: No, I got things out in the open starting with "you are Superman."
Clark Kent: A little louder. I don't think they heard you in Gotham City.
Lois Lane: Speaking of which, when were you planning on telling me? The honeymoon? Our first anniversary? When the kids started flying around the house?
Clark Kent: First I needed to know that you would marry *me*. Not Superman. Not his powers. Just me, Clark. I needed to know that, OK? Then I was going to tell you everything.

Clark Kent: Lois, will you marry me?
Lois Lane: Who's asking? Clark... or Superman?

Lois Lane: [as she sweeps glass off her floor after a bomb explosion] Well, since you asked, what took you an hour?
Superman: A nuclear reactor was melting down in Philadelphia. What's your point?
Lois Lane: I just think maybe you're taking my jeopardy just a little for granted these days.
Superman: What?!
Lois Lane: You know, I can understand. It's not the same new sizzling romance. I don't look at you like some moony eyed cheerleader and maybe you look at me differently too. I'm just good old Lois, get to me whenever.
Superman: That's ridiculous.
Lois Lane: Well, just food for thought. Anyway, if you're not too busy, maybe we should try and find the guy who did this!
[shoves a broom into his chest]
Superman: [looks confused and starts sweeping] All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia.

Lois Lane: Speaking of which, when were you planning on telling me? The honeymoon? Our first anniversary? When the kids started flying around the house?

Bobby Bigmouth: No it's alright, it's ok. I've been feeling lately that this food obsession of mine is masking a deeper emotional trauma.
Lois Lane: Bobby, really?
Bobby Bigmouth: No, actually I'm trying to talk myself out of eating your chair.

Lois Lane: [after Clark uses his x-ray vision] So that's what you've been doing all these years when you pulled your glasses down. I thought you had astigmatism.

Lois Lane: [Clark flies off after an argument] That is so unfair! You know I can't fly!

Clark Kent: When I decided to become Superman, I...
Lois Lane: ...became a target, so anyone close to you would be a target, and then it got more complicated when you realized you loved me...
Clark Kent: ...which was about two minutes after I met you.
Lois Lane: Don't try to score points.
Clark Kent: Sorry.

Lois Lane: [to Clark] You wouldn't be using your other identity to avoid talking to me?

Clark Kent: How long have you known?
Lois Lane: Really? I thought the first question would be "How did you figure it out?"
Clark Kent: Well that's neck and neck with, how mad are you?


Superman II (1980)
[Clark Kent has been beaten in a fistfight after losing his superpowers]
Clark Kent: Looks like from now on you'll have to have a bodyguard with you.
Lois Lane: I don't want a bodyguard. I want the man I fell in love with.
Clark Kent: I know, Lois. I wish he was here.

General Zod: [referring to Superman's home] Scruffy. Morbid. A sentimental replica of a planet long since vanished. No style at all!
General Zod: I expect better manners from my guests, Zod.
Lois Lane: Superman, this wasn't my idea...!
General Zod: Accept your destiny, Kal-El. As your father once condemned us, so now do we condemn his misbegotten brat!

Lois Lane: I'm gonna' be fine. Don't worry about me.
Clark Kent: I like worrying about you.

Ursa: What an undemanding male this Superman must be.
Lois Lane: Yeah, and you could use a tuck here and there yourself, sister.

Lois Lane: [on herself being the only person in the world to know Superman's secret identity, to Clark] ... I didn't sleep a wink last night. Do you know what it's like to hear birds singing at dawn, after you've just spend the whole night crying...? Don't you know this is KILLING me? Have you any idea what it's like... to have you come in here every day, and not be able to talk normally to you, or show how I feel about you, or speak to anybody else about you... Hell, I don't even know what to CALL you!

Superman: [after admitting to Lois that he's Superman] We'd better talk.
Lois Lane: I'm in love with you.
Superman: We'd really better talk.

General Zod: [after rampaging through the Daily Planet, Zod thinks he has found Superman. He holds Jimmy way up by the collar] ... *This* is the son of Jor-El?
Jimmy Olsen: No, but I'll bet *you're* the son of a...!
Lois Lane: [cutting him off] *Jimmy!*

Lois Lane: Once a girl's seen Superman in action, Niagara Falls kind of leaves you cold. You know what I mean?

Clark Kent: I have to go back.
Lois Lane: You can't go back, there's no way now.
Clark Kent: I have to. I've gotta try dammit, I've got to try something. Anything!
Lois Lane: It's not your fault. You didn't know this was going to happen.
Clark Kent: They knew. They tried to tell me. But, I didn't listen.

Lois Lane: Well, let's see what trouble I can get into today. Lueene. What's happening in the world?
[Lueene rolls her eyes and walks out of Lois's office]
Lois Lane: Lueene?
[Lois shrugs and gets back to work]


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Church of Metropolis (#2.5)" (1994)
Clark Kent: I shouldn't have lost my temper.
Lois Lane: Well, you're entitled to. I lose mine once every...what?
Clark Kent: Three, four minutes.

Clark Kent: You know, if anyone's blind around here, it's you!
Lois Lane: What's that supposed to mean?

Clark Kent: I have to go.
Lois Lane: Where?
Clark Kent: You guys stay here, it won't take long.
Lois Lane: What won't take long?
Clark Kent: The thing that I have to do, in the place that I'll be back from in just one second.
[runs out of the room]
Mayson Drake: Does he do that a lot?
Lois Lane: Constantly.

Clark Kent: Your plan worked.
Lois Lane: My plan worked. I love saying that!

Lois Lane: Whatever you do in your own time is...
Clark Kent: Yeah?
Lois Lane: Whatever you do.

Mayson Drake: I don't know who to trust anymore.
Lois Lane: Seems to be going around these days.

Lois Lane: Careful, that sounds like the bug that bit me. Still hurts.
[Clark catches the bug]
Lois Lane: Nice get!
Clark Kent: I'm gonna go let it out the window.
Lois Lane: What all of a sudden, you're a Buddhist?

Perry White: [while dancing] I must warn you. I dip suddenly and I dip deeply.
Lois Lane: [laughing] I'll stay alert.

Lois Lane: I didn't even know you could dance.
Superman: This isn't dancing.
Lois Lane: It's not?
Superman: This is.
[starts to rise and dance in midair]


All-Star Superman (2011) (V)
Steve Lombard: "Superman Saves Mission To The Sun"? We don't know that yet, Lois.
Lois Lane: I already write Superman stories before they happen. If you don't know how big the sun is, go away.
Jimmy Olsen: It's 333,000 times bigger than the size of the Earth. I looked it up on my Superman signal watch.

Clark Kent: Why, thanks, Lois. I don't know where my self-esteem would be without you.
Lois Lane: Alone, in front of the TV.

Lois Lane: That key can't be safe.
Superman: Why don't you give it a try?
[Lois tries to lift the key from the ground]
Superman: I carved it out of a piece of dwarf star material. It weighs half a million tons.
Lois Lane: So you're the only one who can lift it.
Superman: I work pretty hard, Lois.

Lois Lane: It all makes sense now. He's brought me here to be the mother of a race of super-children. Can't let that happen. They'll grow up and lie to everybody.

Lois Lane: My birthday gift's wearing off. I can't see radio waves anymore. I can't hear the stars singing. I'm tired and sore all over, like I've been dancing all night. Thanks for letting me spend a day in your world.
Superman: You know, I do other things. I mean, besides being Superman.
Lois Lane: You do a great Clark Kent impersonation. You almost had me fooled. Wait till I tell him about this.

Lois Lane: Oh, your poor face.
Superman: No one can repair the sun but me, Lois. I'm turning into pure energy and I only have one chance to save the world.
Lois Lane: That's all you've ever needed.
Superman: I love you, Lois Lane, until the end of time.

Jimmy Olsen: Are you sure don't want to speak at the memorial service? Thousands of people are there paying their respects.
Lois Lane: He's not dead. He's up there fixing the sun. And when he's done, he'll be back. And I'll be here waiting for him.

Lois Lane: Okay, how about you explain the time Clark was a witness in the Boss Grimaldi trial and you were his bodyguard?
Superman: Batman was standing in for me.
Lois Lane: And then Clark presented you with the key to the city, that was Batman too?
Superman: A robot. Lois, when I misled you, it was for your own protection. But now I'm telling you the truth. Clark Kent and Superman are one in the same.
Lois Lane: If you're telling me the truth now, doesn't that mean now you've been lying to me for years?

Lois Lane: He knows I'm here. Gotta stop him. God forgive me, I've gotta stop me.
[fires Kryptonite gun at Superman and he's not hurt]
Superman: Huh. Tickles.
Lois Lane: What have I done?
Superman: For one thing, you've confirmed my suspicion that I'm immune to Kryptonite.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Neverending Battle (#1.3)" (1993)
Clark Kent: Hey, Lois, what have we got going on tomorrow?
Lois Lane: Now there you're using that word again Clark. There is "you'. There is "I'. There is no "we".
Clark Kent: Not yet.
Lois Lane: Not ever.
Clark Kent: We'll see.
Lois Lane: How long can you hold your breath?
Clark Kent: A very long time.

Lois Lane: I stole it. I have never stolen a story before in my life. How could I do that? It's him. It's Superman. I mean, ever since he held me in his arms, there's something between us, Lucy. I know it. There's this connection.
Lucy Lane: You should be ashamed of yourself.
Lois Lane: I am ashamed of myself. I'm ashamed of myself.
Lucy Lane: And you'll never do it again?
Lois Lane: I won't. Never again.
Lucy Lane: And you'll apologize to Clark Kent?
Lois Lane: Not in this millennium.

Lois Lane: I should have the exclusive on the follow-up. Those are the rules.
Perry White: The rules are off. This is too big.
Lois Lane: But he's mine! He's mine!
[realizes she's sounding desperate]
Lois Lane: As in my story, story mine.

Lois Lane: What we've got here is an example of human evolution. Clark is the before, Superman is the after.
[glances at Clark, who is eating a doughnut and looking disheveled]
Lois Lane: Make that the way, way after.

Lois Lane: [about Superman] He has no reason to hide. Especially from me.
Cat Grant: Wait a minute. I get it. You and Superman joined the old zero-gravity club up on the space station, didn't you?

Lois Lane: Sure, Clark, and when you run across Jimmy Hoffa and the Easter Bunny, why don't you reel them in, too.

Jimmy Olsen: [Lois walks in covered in dirt with a broken heal on her shoe] Lois, are you all right?
Lois Lane: Yeah. I'm fine. Oh, you're referring to my appearance. Well after hours of trudgeing through the muck and the frogs and the *things* I think I have a perfect right to look a bit disheveled. By the way did you know that it was possible to get *completely* lost at the Metropolis Sewer Reclamation Facility?

Lois Lane: [unfolding the note that sent her on a wild goose chase after she stole stories from a couple of people] You wouldn't happen to know who sent me this?
[Clark shrugs]
Lois Lane: [sees the latest edition of the Planet on his desk] You? *You* got the story?
Clark Kent: Consider it a life lesson, Lois. No charge.

Lois Lane: [frantically bursts into Clark's new apartment looking for Superman as Clark is signing the lease] All right, where is he?
Clark Kent: [startled] Where is who?
Lois Lane: [looks around her, then] Where am I?
Clark Kent: My new apartment.
[Lois pauses, then turns and leaves in a very dignified manner]


"Smallville: Prophecy (#10.20)" (2011)
Lois Lane: Wow. So, how does one ask for permission to marry on Krypton?
Clark Kent: The last time that Kara was in town, she told me, in Kryptonian culture, the head of the house has to approve all life unions.
Lois Lane: "Life unions"? Will you stop being so romantic?

Jor-El: [voice] Kal-El, my son, you have returned.
Clark Kent: Jor-El, I come here today as a Kryptonian, as a member of your house, and your son. In honor of our home, I'm here to declare my desire to start a life bond with this woman... Lois Lane.
Jor-El: Lois Lane, do you truly intend to initiate a life union with my son?
Lois Lane: I do.
Jor-El: [voice] Your pledge is observed. If your lives are to be joined, then you must both understand.

Clark Kent: Lois, are you okay?
Lois Lane: I'm more than okay. I'm super.

Clark Kent: Lois, I don't think Jor-El did what he did for you to get ahead at the office.
Lois Lane: Clark, we were able to cover our deadline for the wedding day, the day after the wedding day and the day after the day after the wedding day. Look, I know it's hard go all four-alarm fire on this thing, but Jor-El's intentions might have been good.
Clark Kent: You can't honestly believe that. By taking away my powers, he's made me vulnerable, and you...
Lois Lane: Like 800% more awesome then yesterday?
[Lois types super fast on her computer, the keyboard snaps in half]
Lois Lane: Okay, maybe 700% more. Maybe Jor-El wanted me to know what it felt like to be you.
Clark Kent: I'm not so sure, Lois. In his own warped way, I think he's trying to tell us something about our relationship.
Lois Lane: We're as bulletproof as your - *my* skin.

Lois Lane: Maybe Jor-El wanted to teach us a little something about patience.
Clark Kent: Well, if he did, you're about to fail. I'm driving.

Lois Lane: Also, I have a whole new appreciation for your jacket-and-boots thing. The number of heels I have broken super-stretching my legs today is out of control.
Clark Kent: I'm happy that you have a new found appreciation for my wardrobe, but today of all days, I need you to be more careful.
Lois Lane: Well, I'm almost 50% certain that the Burgundy Blur pulled it all off without a hitch.

Clark Kent: This is when I would use my superhearing - to listen in on the Marionette boys to see how they operate.
Lois Lane: Right, and a big part of that is the squinty head tilt, yes?
Clark Kent: Apparently.

Lois Lane: I was so weak, Clark. You know, the very moment that Toyman threatened you, I put on that diode, and I let him control me... because you're my greatest weakness. And I'm afraid that I will be yours.
Clark Kent: You're not my weakness. You're my strength. Okay? And I'm sorry that Jor-El dragged you into one of my trails, but it's over. Jor-El is as much a part of my past as the farm. My destiny is marrying you and for us to create our own future together. Come on, everyone's waiting.
Lois Lane: Clark, I'm sorry. After today, I realized that us being together makes you vulnerable. And I - I can't just sit and watch a movie and eat ice cream, when at that very moment you could be saving five people. Clark, every moment of your life that I take for myself, I am stealing from people that need saved.
Clark Kent: Lois, what are you saying?
Lois Lane: [takes off ring] I'm s...
Clark Kent: What is this?
Lois Lane: [crying] I'm sorry, Clark.
Clark Kent: No.
Lois Lane: I can't marry you.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Lucky Leon (#2.16)" (1995)
Clark Kent: People shouldn't have to live up to other people's expectations.
Lois Lane: Oh, come on, we do it all the time.
Clark Kent: For example?
Lois Lane: For example, you're not going to wear that to dinner that tonight, are you? You're gonna go home and change because we both have expectations about how each other's going to look. You'll be wearing something elegant, not too dark, charcoal suit. And I will be dressed in deep violet.
Clark Kent: Burgundy.
Lois Lane: Burgundy?
Clark Kent: Or violet.
Lois Lane: That's what you've always dreamed of seeing me in, burgundy? I don't have much in burgundy. Um, maybe if I hurry, I can make it to Neiman's before they close.
Clark Kent: Lois, you don't have to do that.
Lois Lane: No, no, wait, what time are you picking me up? 8? Uh, make it 8:15. Oh, no, forget it, that's a bad way to start a date, being late. 7:45. No, 8, I don't want you to think I'm flaky changing my mind all the time.

Lois Lane: I need a new partner.
Perry White: I knew it. One bad date, there goes my whole news room. Why don't you just shoot me now, send me up to Elvis?
Lois Lane: Perry... .
Perry White: No, no, no, Lois, don't say it. You know, I have stood on the sidelines, hoping against hope that Mother Nature would smile on you two, that the bluebird of happiness would come down light on your shoulder, that four-leaf clovers would sprout up wherever you walked, and all the time my gut is singing a different aria.
Lois Lane: Perry... .
Perry White: Lois, anybody with half a hemisphere can see that you two are gasoline and fire, TNT and matches, two trains headed toward...
Lois Lane: Perry! Thank you. The problem is we didn't have a bad date. It was a really great date, and now I'm completely panicked, and I have no idea what to do next.

Lois Lane: Clark, I had a really nice time.
Clark Kent: So did I.
Lois Lane: No, I mean I had a *really* nice time. Probably one of the best times I've ever had. It wasn't the funniest or the wildest...
Clark Kent: Don't knock yourself out, Lois...
Lois Lane: It just... seemed to... work. It was really nice. That's why I can never see you again!
[she slams the door in his face]
Clark Kent: Lois?

Clark Kent: Lois, I don't really know exactly how to say this, but why did you come back to me tonight to the factory? I mean, you were running back into an atomic explosion.
Lois Lane: I know, it doesn't make too much sense, does it? I guess I just couldn't leave you there.
Clark Kent: You slammed the door in my face last night.
Lois Lane: That was a mistake.
Clark Kent: [jokingly] Don't let it happen again.
Lois Lane: I guess we'll, um, just have to see how things go, won't we?
Clark Kent: Fortunately, there's no doors here tonight.
Lois Lane: Fortunately.
[they kiss their first "real" kiss]

Clark Kent: The only time people ever really seem to express themselves is when they're passionate and the polite veneer of society drops off. You know, like when they're fighting...
Lois Lane: Or make love... oh, my gosh.

Lois Lane: Clark Kent, the rebel without a flaw.

Lois Lane: [to Clark] You can read lips from here? I thought I was good. What else can you do that I don't know about?

Mayson Drake: Stop the presses! I've always wanted to say that in a newsroom.
Lois Lane: Nobody ever says that, you know. It's just on television.
Mayson Drake: Well, sure, but it still felt good.


Superman: Unbound (2013) (V)
Terrorist Leader: What the...?
Lois Lane: Plus there's the other one.
Terrorist Leader: Other one?
Lois Lane: Superman's cousin. Didn't you hear?
Terrorist Leader: No, I didn't hear.
Lois Lane: You really should read my column.

Lois Lane: [to Terrorist Leader] You don't know teenage girls, do you? Rebellious, angry at the world, doesn't know her own strength? You're in deep trouble.

Superman: Nice outfit.
Lois Lane: Thanks. If I knew I was gonna be abducted, I might have skipped the heels.

Perry White: Why does Superman disappear for weeks like this? Maybe there's an angle in it. Does he wanna make sure the human race stays self-sufficient? Are there other worlds he protects?
Jimmy Olsen: You mean, like, he's cheating on us?
Perry White: Let's play with it. "The Aloofness of Superman." Lois, you rung with this.
Lois Lane: Must I?
Perry White: Who else am I gonna give it to? Kent? He's probably cheating on us too.

Steve Lombard: Could be the end of the world, Lane. You and me. You wanna hook up?
Lois Lane: Not a chance.

Clark Kent: You volunteered to be their hostage?
Lois Lane: Well, better me than someone else.
Clark Kent: You have to stop doing things like that.
Lois Lane: No, what I have to do is get the story.
Clark Kent: Other reporters do their jobs without needing me to save them every time.
Lois Lane: Other reporters don't have the access I do.
Clark Kent: To the stories or to me?
Lois Lane: [kissing him on the cheek] Both. Must be awful being you. Most powerful man in the world and you still can't control the women in your life.

Clark Kent: Heart rate, breathing, skin temp. What? You're mad at me?
Lois Lane: You're something else.
Clark Kent: I don't care what he thinks about me.
Lois Lane: I know that. I'm surprised you didn't think of it yourself. It's the perfect cover.
Clark Kent: Then what?
Lois Lane: You don't want anyone knowing that we're together, but at the same time, you don't let another guy even talk to me. It's like I'm going out with my own stalker.
Clark Kent: Him? Lombard? You want that guy hitting on you?
Lois Lane: No. That's not the point. The point is you need to ease up a little.
Clark Kent: I thought you like it when I come to your rescue. It sure seems like it, the way you take unnecessary risks.
Lois Lane: When I'm falling out of a plane, rescue me. Getting ogled by the office pig, I can handle.

Clark Kent: Lois, I have to go away for a while.
Lois Lane: "Away" as in spend some time with your folks in Kansas or as in somewhere just past the Crab Nebula?
Clark Kent: More like the latter. Can we deal with this when I get back?
Lois Lane: Men. Always finding an excuse to leave when things get scary. Of course, you're the only one who literally disappears off the face of the earth.


Superman vs. The Elite (2012) (V)
Lois Lane: [watching a cartoon of Superman] Wow, okay. Ha-ha. That's uh... Wow. It never occurred to me that the S stood for "silly."
Clark Kent: It wasn't that bad.
Lois Lane: When have you ever said "crime doesn't pay"?

Lois Lane: It's a given that I am getting the scoop on these newbies, right?
Clark Kent: Not unless you can type 5,000 words a minute.
Lois Lane: Do not make me unleash my feminine wiles on you, Clark Kent.

Superman: Sorry there's no movie.
Lois Lane: Don't try to be cute. You're lucky I'm letting you fly me there. Once we hit the ground, it's every reporter for herself.
Superman: Unless I get something really juicy.
Lois Lane: Ah. Learning.

Lois Lane: If she knows anything, I'm the Martian Manhunter.
Superman: There go all of my fantasies.

Lois Lane: [watches Superman being kissed by Menagerie] So was it the trashy outfit, or should I start gluing slugs to my face? Maybe an iguana.
Clark Kent: It was a moment. Pam was overexcited.
Lois Lane: Pam? One team up and she's Pam?
Clark Kent: We saved a few hundred people, Lois. What can I say? They're new and... excitable.
Lois Lane: That excitability better stay one-sided... though you don't exactly sound like a fan.
Clark Kent: Not sure I am.

Robot: The metahumans designated the Elite are not anywhere within the range of our scanners, Kal-El. Their message was downloaded through a post-dimensional probability channel.
Lois Lane: I think my phone has an app for that.
Superman: It means they're hiding between dimensions. Impossible to track.
Robot: Though we are currently processing 3,500,405 Internet hits on the Elite.
Superman: How many of them are informational?
Robot: Zero.
Lois Lane: How many of them contain the phrase: "These guys rock"?
Robot: 2,800,000.

Lois Lane: Clark. Clark. I called Kansas and Ma said you're not there. So pick up your stupid hologram thing or I'll kick your butt when you get home.
Superman: Sweet-talker.
Lois Lane: Yeah, well. Not really.

Lois Lane: When...?
Clark Kent: Dawn, I guess.
Lois Lane: Why did you have to do this? Why can't you call someone else?
Clark Kent: The Elite didn't take the fight to anyone else. They chose me.
Lois Lane: No, you went after them!
Clark Kent: They're slaughtering people and laughing about it.
Lois Lane: Black can punch a hole through a mountain by thinking! The Hat tosses around demons like trained birds, and Pam...
Clark Kent: They have to be stopped!
Lois Lane: I think they can beat you!... I'm sorry. But they're willing to go places you won't. And they're so damn strong...
Clark Kent: I heard a child say that he wanted to be in the Elite when he grows up, because it would be fun to kill bad guys. Fun to kill... People have to know that there's another way. They have to see that someone believes in humanity strongly enough to...
Lois Lane: ...to die for them?
[they kiss]


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Ordinary People (#3.2)" (1995)
Lois Lane: [Clark unbuttons his shirt] I knew you'd come through
[notices Clark doesn't have the Superman Suit under his clothes]
Lois Lane: Where's the suit?
Clark Kent: Suit? What suit? There is no suit. I left it at home. It's just you and me Joe and Judy Regular.
[pulls Lois into his lap]
Clark Kent: Wanna neck?

Lois Lane: Did I ever tell you why I gave up my crush on Superman?
Clark Kent: No.
Lois Lane: It's because he was a fantasy. And did I ever tell you why I fell in love with Clark? Because he's real. And that's what I want.
Clark Kent: You do?
Lois Lane: Clark has problems, insecurities, hat hair.
Clark Kent: I do *not* have hat hair!

Spencer Spencer: You know, I was gonna kill you for all that crap you wrote about me, but I thought you might prefer an exciting career opportunity.
Lois Lane: What do you mean?
Spencer Spencer: You can be my sex slave.
Lois Lane: Kill me.
Spencer Spencer: I know, I know, the body. Maybe I shouldn't hide it in a box, maybe you imagine it worse than it is.
Lois Lane: Maybe.
Spencer Spencer: You couldn't imagine worse than this!! My only chance at girls like you is shootin' 'em up with cobra venom, and then it's iffy!

Lois Lane: Who is it?
Superman: Who is it? Lois, who else knocks on your third floor window?

Lois Lane: I dreamt about this, spending the night in your arms. First, it was Superman. Then it was Clark.

Lois Lane: [about the flowers Clark just gave her] Should I even ask where they're from?
Clark Kent: Tony's. Down the street. You wanna see a receipt?

[Lois laughs as they build a fire]
Clark Kent: What?
Lois Lane: Nothing. It's just this is how I always imagined camping with Clark would be.
Clark Kent: Well, you are camping with Clark.

Lois Lane: [while trying to start their camp fire] Okay, blow.
[Clark accidentally uses his superbreath, putting out the fire]
Clark Kent: Sorry.
Lois Lane: It's ok.
[begins rubbing the two sticks together again]
Lois Lane: Try again. This time remember it's a camp fire not a nuclear reactor.


"Smallville: Crusade (#4.1)" (2004)
Lois Lane: Besides, my delicate feminine sensibilities weren't offended the first time I got a glimpse of, uhm, Clark Junior.

Lois Lane: Look, I didn't come here fishing for thanks. I think Clark might know something about my cousin Chloe's death.
Martha Kent: I'm so sorry for your loss.
Lois Lane: Yeah. Were she and Clark ever an item?
Martha Kent: Oh, I think for a minute...
Lois Lane: It's funny, I never thought she'd fall for the farm boy type.
Martha Kent: Trust me, that can happen to the best of us.
Lois Lane: Not me. Give me a nerd with glasses any day of the week.
Martha Kent: Clark has many sides.
Lois Lane: Yeah, I've seen several of them already.

Lois Lane: [to Clark] Glad to see we've moved beyond the clothing-optional stage of our relationship.

Kal-El: You talk a lot.
Lois Lane: Well, I'm just not comfortable with uncomfortable silence and you're not exactly keeping up with your end of the conversation.

Lois Lane: Guess I'm a sucker for stray dogs and naked men.
[Martha stares]
Lois Lane: Okay, that didn't come out right.

Lois Lane: [at Chloe's grave] I have a confession to make. I didn't go to your funeral. I hate funerals. Dad says everybody does, but... it's a way of paying tribute to a life well led.
[she starts to cry]
Lois Lane: I hate myself for being weak. I just knew that the moment I came here, it would make it real. I promise I will find out who did this to you. Even if I have to do it alone.
Clark Kent: You're not alone.
Lois Lane: A fact you could have shared before you were breathing down my neck.

[last lines]
Clark Kent: Look, I can't explain my actions over the past few days. But Chloe was my best friend. You're not the only one who misses her.
Lois Lane: I'm just the only one doing something about it.
Clark Kent: I get the feeling you like to do things yourself.
Lois Lane: My dad raised me to be independent and self-sufficient.
Clark Kent: That'd be one way to describe you.
Lois Lane: You know, the only thing I like about you at the moment is your mom. You can't possibly be as weird as I think you are with a mom that cool.
Clark Kent: Look, why don't you let me help you find who did this to Chloe? Come on, you can stay at our house while you're in town. It beats living out of your car.
Lois Lane: Thanks. But you should know I don't pay attention to curfews and I never make my bed. I'll give you some time alone.
[as Lois starts to leave, Clark uses his x-ray vision on Chloe's grave and sees the coffin is empty]
Clark Kent: Lois? Chloe's still alive.

Lionel Luthor: You're not Martha Kent.
Lois Lane: Would you have seen me if they said it was Lois Lane?
Lionel Luthor: Lois Lane, yes. You're Chloe Sullivan's cousin. What a loss. You bite your nails; bad girl. But getting through the door doesn't mean I'll talk to you. Guard!
Lois Lane: I don't believe that safe house explosion was an accident.
Lionel Luthor: Of course you don't. You believe I'm responsible.
Lois Lane: No. A stunt like that is... thuggish and obvious. It smacks of desperation. All the things you aren't.
Lionel Luthor: All right, Miss Lane, you have my attention. What's your theory?
Lois Lane: I don't have one.
Lionel Luthor: [chuckles] Then why are you here?
Lois Lane: Because I wanted to look into the face of the son of a bitch who's responsible for my cousin's death. You may not have blown her up, but you're the reason she's gone.
Lionel Luthor: Before you begin to anointer for sainthood, let's get some of the facts straight, all right? The simple truth is I made her an offer, she took it, I kept my end of the bargain, she didn't. She's dead as a result of her own actions. I had nothing to do with it. And next time you come at me with accusations, try to have a little more than righteous indignation. Zoo hours are over, Miss Lane. Good day.
Lois Lane: [turning to leave ] You know, it must kill you that somebody has given you this gift. And you don't know who and you don't know why, but without Chloe's testimony, you're probably gonna walk out of here a free man. Or are you being set up?


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Fly Hard (#1.19)" (1994)
Lois Lane: What could possibly be here in the Daily Planet newsroom that would be worth risking your lives and the lives of everyone in Metropolis?
Fuentes: What else has man sought after without pity or remorse since the dawn of time?
Lois Lane: Inner peace?
Fuentes: Cold, hard cash.

Lois Lane: You know, it's times like these I think maybe I should just get a regular, boring job, settle down with a guy who sells insurance and have 2.4 kids.
[beat]
Lois Lane, Clark Kent: [laughing] Nah!

Lois Lane: Other women catch bouquets, I catch bombs.

Lois Lane: What about Jimmy? Maybe Jimmy could save us.
Perry White: Jimmy couldn't save baseball cards.

Lois Lane: Superman.
Clark Kent: [quietly] I'm coming.
Lois Lane: Superman is my access code.

Lois Lane: Relax, Clark. You're not Superman.

Lex Luthor: Right, so what do you suggest, Mr Kent? We just sit here, let them do whatever they want and then wait for them to kill us?
Clark Kent: No, but I have no choice. If I go out there and try to get to the bomb, any one of those guys could kill any one of you. And if that is a hair trigger under his finger, it could go off before I could stop it, and I can't take that risk.
Lois Lane: Uh, Clark... Take it easy, you're not Superman.
Clark Kent: I know...


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Tempus Fugitive (#2.18)" (1995)
Lois: If you wanna kill Superman, I don't know why you're going to Smallville or 1966.
Tempus: She doesn't know yet. Oh, this is good. This is really good. Um, Lois, did you know that, in the future, you're revered at the same level as Superman? Why there are books about you, statues, an interactive game. You're even a breakfast cereal.
Lois: Really?
Tempus: Yes. But, as much as everybody loves you, there is one question that keeps coming up: "How dumb was she?" Here, I'll show you what I mean. Look
[puts glasses on]
Tempus: , I'm Clark Kent.
[Takes glasses off]
Tempus: No, I'm Superman.
[Puts glasses on]
Tempus: Mild-mannered reporter.
[Takes glasses off]
Tempus: Superhero. Hello! Duh! Clark Kent is Superman. Ha, ha, ha. Well, that was worth the whole trip. To actually meet the most galactically stupid woman who ever lived.

Tempus: Well, this is a special pleasure, Ms. Lane. I'm Tempus. I'm from the future that you and Superman created.
Lois: Me and Superman?
Tempus: A world of peace. A world with no greed or crime. A world so boring you'd blow your brains out, but there are no guns.

H.G. Wells: What's the matter, my dear?
Lois: Oh, you've been to the future, Mr. Wells. Is it true what Tempus said about me?
H.G. Wells: Oh, yes. You're as highly-revered as any woman in history.
Lois: Oh, no, I'm meant about being galactically stupid.
H.G. Wells: No, no, no, Miss Lane, not stupid, blind. It is one of the many things that makes your story so timeless. Why children never tire of hearing it at bedtime. Why parents never outgrow it. Generation after generation, we are all blinded by love, Miss Lane. Especially that one great love that changes us forever.
Tempus: Excuse me, but I'm in danger of choking on my own vomit.

Lois Lane: I couldn't stand the idea I might lose you and I'd never get to tell you... to say that... I...
Tempus: Please. I'll go to jail, I'll strap myself into the electric chair - but don't make me listen to this!

Lois Lane: [to Clark] Is this going to feel as weird to you as it does to me, knowing you are Superman from now on?

[Lois has just found out Clark is Superman]
Lois Lane: [slaps Clark] And don't pretend that hurt... Superman!

[in 1866]
Marshall Kent: [to Lois and Clark] Gone, which is exactly where we'd like you and the naked lady.
Lois Lane: Naked? I'm not naked. These are just new fashions from... France.


"Smallville: Masquerade (#10.14)" (2011)
Lois Lane: Please tell me you didn't hop across the pond just for a gallon of milk.
Clark Kent: What makes you think I'd be in England?
Lois Lane: Oh, you know, 'cause I'm kind of staring at your face online.

Lois Lane: My Turkish is a little rusty, but it seems someone managed to pull off a supersave there, and now Ankara's also wondering who America's Blur hero is. Meanwhile, in Buenos Aires, they are offering a national commendation to "El Salvador de Rojo y Azul" if he'd stand still long enough to receive it. And I won't even bother with the Chinese because I would just sound racist.

Lois Lane: [to Clark] You do *not* get to whoosh your way out of this one. And I'll just save you the trouble, and superspeed off all on my own, okay? Whoosh!

Lois Lane: That's only a fraction of a centimeter. How would you be able to see that?
Clark Kent: Micro vision.
Lois Lane: "Micro" vision?
Clark Kent: Well, it's my power. I can call it whatever I want.

Clark Kent: And I should be wearing a mask. Unfortunately, I've lived my entire life up until this point without needing one. That's why I've been so reluctant. I mean, this is the face that my parents raised. It's the face of the man that you love. And I don't want to deny who I am when I'm out there doing what I was born to do.
Lois Lane: Then why bother with the jacket, Clark, the symbols?
Clark Kent: When I'm out there in the red and blue, and I'm saving people, that's who I really am. And I know this is gonna sound weird, but it's not what I'm called that should define who I am. It's who I am that should define what I'm called. Clark Kent - it's... it's just a name. It's just a word. I am The Blur, and I've always has been.

Lois Lane: Clark, you can't just whip out a new costume at work.
Clark Kent: The Blur is not the disguise, Lois. Clark Kent will be the mask.
Lois Lane: Okay. Okay, but the only way the glasses are ever going to work...
Clark Kent: If I adjust my behavior when I use them. I know. The world needs to believe that Clark Kent is way too normal to be...
Lois Lane: Super.
Clark Kent: And even though we silenced Godfrey, we shutdown Granny's orphanage, and buried Desaad underneath Belle Reve, it's not the last time we've seen Darkseid. But I'll be ready...
[puts on glasses]
Clark Kent: ...hiding in plain sight.
Lois Lane: So you're willing to dial back the hometown hero and crank up the Average Joe?
Clark Kent: If that what it takes to be the hero the people need, yes, Miss Lane, I am.

Lois Lane: That's only a fraction of a centimeter... how were you able to see that?
Clark Kent: Microvision.
Lois Lane: Micro... vision?
Clark Kent: It's my power, I can call it whatever I want.


"Smallville: Krypto (#4.14)" (2005)
Lois Lane: [trying to name dog] Well, he's annoying and I can't seem to get within ten feet of him without getting sick. I think we should call him Clarky.

Lois Lane: [to vet] We call him Clarky.
Clark Kent: We do not call him Clarky.
Lois Lane: Is it the "y" part you don't like? Because, we could always just make it "Clark." But then that would get really confusing, and, hey, maybe you should consider changing your name. You could be "Skipper."

Lois Lane: So what are we gonna call him? And don't give me any of this "Skipper" crap.
Clark Kent: I was thinking we'd call him "Krypto."
Lois Lane: Why, because he's so cryptic like you? I don't think so.
Clark Kent: Why not?
Lois Lane: Because I think it's dumb. You can call your next dog "Krypto." Look, it's not that hard: Max, Lucky, Rocky, Bailey, Scamp, Monty, Bud.
[Jonathan and Martha walk in the barn]
Jonathan Kent: Hey, you're gonna have to pick one of those if you wanna keep him.

Jonathan Kent: Where did you say you found him?
Lois Lane: Actually, I kind of... hit him.
Clark Kent: You hit him? With your car?
Lois Lane: No, with my fist.

Lois Lane: I thought bathing him was supposed to help with my allergies.
Clark Kent: Well, maybe you're allergic to the soap too.
Lois Lane: Maybe I'm allergic to you.

Lois Lane: [after hitting the dog with her car] Okay. You're gonna be fine. I know you're gonna be fine. Everyone I've ever hit was all right.

Martha Kent: You know, when I was a little girl, we had a dog that looked just like this one. Maybe that's why I liked him so much right away. His name was Shelby.
Lois Lane: I can live with that.
Clark Kent: Well, it beats "Clarky".


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: The Phoenix (#2.13)" (1995)
Clark Kent: Uh, Lois, I want to ask you something.
Lois Lane: Ooh, I'm not going to like it, am I?
Clark Kent: What makes you say that?
Lois Lane: You've got that tone in your voice. You know, when people are uncomfortable, like when they want to borrow your car, or money, your clothes?
Clark Kent: Uh, okay, you got me, I wanna borrow your clothes.
Lois Lane: I bet you'd look real cute in black chiffon.
Clark Kent: What I wanna say is I...
Lois Lane: I know what you want, Clark.
Clark Kent: You do?
Lois Lane: I know you a lot better than you think. How much do you need?
Clark Kent: What? No, I don't want money, Lois.
Lois Lane: Clark, you don't have to be embarrassed. That's what friends are for. Just tell me how much.
Clark Kent: Lois, I want you to go out with me!
Lois Lane: What? You're asking me out?
Clark Kent: Yeah, you know, like on a date.
Lois Lane: A date? You mean like a real date? Where I take out my good perfume, the one that I got after I saw "Love Affair," the good one not the remake, and I put a dab behind my knee, I don't even know why?
Clark Kent: Yeah. I guess that's what I'm saying.
Lois Lane: Clark, that's...I mean...I don't know what to say.
Clark Kent: Most people choose yes or no.

[at the same time]
Lois Lane: I'll take Bender, you take the bomb squad.
Clark Kent: You take Bender, I'll take the bomb squad.

Clark Kent: [seeing Lois attempting to clean up a spill] What happened?
Lois Lane: Oh, I had a muscle - a mishap. I had a mishap.

Clark Kent: Hi.
Lois Lane: Hi. Oh, God, this is exactly why we shouldn't go out.
Clark Kent: All I said was, "Hi."
Lois Lane: Yes, I know, and a dozen thoughts went through my mind: You know, how's my makeup? Do I smell good? Do I have coffee breath? See, and all that was just with you saying hi. What's gonna happen when you start saying words with more than one syllable?
Clark Kent: What did you put in your coffee this morning?

Bobby Bigmouth: I want you to know how happy I am for you and that that there are a lot of people out there that are really pulling for this to work out.
Lois Lane: What people?
Bobby Bigmouth: What, did you think it was a big secret that Clark here has been mooning over you?
Clark Kent: I wouldn't say "mooning" exactly.

Clark Kent: Why do you suppose someone would kidnap Bender?
Lois Lane: Can't be for money. Who would pay ransom for a lawyer?

Lex Luthor: [in disguise] You know, I have something for you. Information about Lex Luthor and the woman who stole his body.
Lois Lane: Who are you?
Lex Luthor: Do you know the story of the phoenix?
Lois Lane: Yes. A sacred bird, reborn. Rising from its own ashes.
Lex Luthor: That's right. When I was a little boy my mother told me that story. And I-I always liked the part where he... came back from the dead.
[showing himself as Lex]
Lex Luthor: It's good to see you again, Lois. Did you think I wouldn't come back for you? Yes, look at me. I've lost everything: my fortune, my reputation. Everything but my feeling for you. We must take the miracle of my resurrection as a sign. As a sign that even death can't keep us apart.
Lois Lane: How is this-?
Lex Luthor: No, don't question a miracle. We're together again. That's all that matters.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: All Shook Up (#1.12)" (1994)
Lois Lane: [after Lex offers her a place in his bunker] Lex, why me?
Lex Luthor: Because I care. And because I must admit, that three years will be a long time without...companionship.

Superman: This will work.
Lois Lane: That's a relief. Why are you so sure?
Superman: Because it has to.

Clark Kent: [after Lois pushed him into someone else so that she could file a story first] Ahem, was that really necessary?
Lois Lane: Kill or be killed.
Clark Kent: You're talking about war, Lois. This is journalism.
Lois Lane: See, your problem is you still think there's a difference.

Lois Lane: [to Clark] Superman put it all on the line. Twice. You, you fall into garbage cans in the dark.

Doctor: [on Clark who has amnesia] It will come back to him in time, just be patient with him.
Inspector Henderson: That's asking a lot, doc.
Lois Lane: I can be patient.

Lois Lane: I love you.
[Clark looks at her]
Lois Lane: [awkwardly] As, a brother, I mean.
Clark Kent: That I'm starting to remember.

[Lois doesn't see Clark sneeze, blowing it into a fire hydrant]
Lois Lane: One thing you have to learn right away is that Metro cabbies cannot drive. Never trust them.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Metallo (#2.10)" (1995)
Clark Kent: I'm in the mood for frozen yogurt. Want some?
Lois Lane: Clark, we have work to do.
Clark Kent: It'll only take a second. Come on, what flavor?
Lois Lane: Surprise me.
[later]
Lois Lane: Hey! What happened to you? You've been gone 2 hours. Where's my yogurt?
Clark Kent: Oh...Right. Yogurt. Remember how you said to surprise you?
Lois Lane: Yeah.
Clark Kent: Well, I didn't bring you anything. Ha, Surprise!

Lois Lane: And you think I'm fat, don't you?
Clark Kent: What?
Lois Lane: That's why you didn't bring me any yogurt. You think I'm fat.
Clark Kent: Lois, believe me, I do not think you're fat. I just thought, you know, it might be funny to not bring you anything. Ha!
Lois Lane: Oh. Some of that cutting-edge, Smallville humor?

Clark Kent: [about Johnny] We saw him a couple of days ago. He seemed perfectly normal.
Lois Lane: For a Neanderthal.

Lois Lane: [about Lucy] She can be very pigheaded. And, no, it does not run in the family.

Clark Kent: Maybe it's just animal magnetism.
Lois Lane: That's fine in a zoo.

Lois Lane: [seeing Clark moving slowly and painfully] You want some asprin?
Clark Kent: What for?

Superman: I wanted to tell you that I think what you did for Clark showed incredible bravery.
Lois Lane: I guess there isn't anything I wouldn't do for him.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Foundling (#1.16)" (1994)
Lois Lane: I don't think I can trust Clark anymore.
Perry White: Would you care to tell me why?
Lois Lane: He lied to me.
Perry White: Oh. Well, uh, don't you lie to him?
Lois Lane: Of course I lie to him. All the time!
Perry White: Ooh, I'm just not going to go near that.

Lois Lane: I think Clark may be holding out on me.

Lois Lane: Oh, you are so tight, like iron.
Clark Kent: Steel.

Lois Lane: You aren't going to look for clues, or dust for prints.
Inspector Henderson: Waste of time.

Lois Lane: [after Perry tries to give her advice without relating it to Elvis] Chief. I think I like the Elvis stories better.
Perry White: [smiles] Next time. I've got a million of 'em.

Lois Lane: You grew up on a farm in Kansas. I grew up in Metropolis.
Clark Kent: So?
Lois Lane: So, they are completely different standards.
Clark Kent: That is so ridiculous!
Lois Lane: What if this belongs to Superman, something he needs? How did you feel when somebody took your stuff?

Clark Kent: We weren't partners then.
Lois Lane: Then? Clark, try never again.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Wall of Sound (#2.2)" (1994)
Clark Kent: Lois, you're kinda babbling.
Lois Lane: I know. See, I never babble.
Clark Kent: Are you kidding? You're a brook.

Perry White: Now, Lois, don't you have anything to say to Clark?
Lois Lane: Uh, right. Clark, I, uh, I'm very, uh...
Clark Kent: Surprised?
Lois Lane: Stunned, shocked, in need of oxygen.

Lois Lane: Clark, have I lost something?
Clark Kent: Your fashion sense?

Lois Lane: So, how did I rate as a date?
Clark Kent: Oh, A+.
Lois Lane: I hung on your arm decoratively.
Clark Kent: You did.
Lois Lane: Fawned appropriately.
Clark Kent: Absolutely.
Lois Lane: And just faded into the background during your big moment.
Clark Kent: You were beautiful, yet invisible.
Lois Lane: Mmm, make me go through another night like that, and I'll rip out your spleen.

Superman: Well, I better be going.
Lois Lane: Wait.
[gives him a rose]
Superman: What's this.
Lois Lane: It's a rose.
Superman: What's this for?
Lois Lane: Do I have to have a reason?
[kisses him on the cheek]
Superman: I guess not. Good night, Lois.
Lois Lane: Good night.

Lois Lane: [about Superman] I was going to say that you don't want to do this because it will make him mad.

Jimmy Olsen: Wow. The first sound that can put a whole room to sleep.
Lois Lane: No. I think Yanni did it first.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: And the Answer Is... (#2.22)" (1995)
Lois Lane: The way you just touched me...

Lois Lane: If anything happens, tell Clark that I love him.
Superman: He knows, but I'll tell him.

[Clark decides to tell Lois that he is Superman so he is practicing]
Clark Kent: Lois, there's something I want to tell you. I'm Superman... uh... Hey, did you ever notice how Superman and I look kind of alike? Well, it's funny that you should say that because... um... Hey, guess what? I'm Superman... humm... Lois, there's something I've wanted to tell you for a long time, and before out relationship goes any future, it's important that you know that I'm...
[Lois walks in]
Lois Lane: What are you doing?

[Clark decides to tell Lois that he is Superman]
Clark Kent: Lois, I've got something I want to tell you.
Lois Lane: It's not good news, is it?
Clark Kent: Well, I don't know, maybe.
Lois Lane: No. It's not. I can tell by your face.
Clark Kent: Lois, maybe you'd better sit down.
Lois Lane: Oh yeah, this is good news.
Clark Kent: Lois, I'm Super...
[telephone rings]

Lois Lane: Clark, you were in the middle of telling me something!
Clark Kent: Was I?
Lois Lane: Yes! You said, "Lois, I'm super..."
Clark Kent: Lois...I'm super late for an appointment.

Clark Kent: Lois, will you...
[downpour of rain starts]
Clark Kent: Come on! Give me a break!
Lois Lane: [laughing] Do you want to go back inside?
Clark Kent: If the Earth opened up at my feet, I wouldn't move until I had said this. Lois, will you marry me?


"Smallville: Finale (#10.21)" (2011)
Lois Lane: [to Janet] I'm sorry. I wouldn't would have to do that if the world wasn't in jeopardy and you weren't such a bitch.

[last lines]
Lois Lane: Are you ready?
Clark Kent: I've been ready for seven years.
Flustered Reporter: Somebody tell Perry White! Just came in over the wire! There's a bomb in an elevator uptown!
Clark Kent: Just tell the minister I'm gonna be a few minutes late.

Lois Lane: How many "Great Ceaser's ghosts"?
James Bartholomew Olsen: Four, *before* his coffee. But... did you get my shots?
Lois Lane: Love the framing, love the colors. Where's the drama?
James Bartholomew Olsen: Um... Um, did you see the one with the elephant?
Lois Lane: The Man of Steel deserves something better than a circus incident and a fender-bender. I want pecs, I want cape, I want pearly whites.
James Bartholomew Olsen: Yes, Miss Lane.
Lois Lane: Great. Your brother left big shoes for you to fill, Olsen. I know you're up to the task.

Lois Lane: There's no Chloe quip that's gonna change my mind. Clark can hear the world's cries for help, and he's duty-bound to answer the call. I'm not gonna stand in his way.
Chloe Sullivan: He can't listen all the time, Lois. He's not God. He can't be aware of every bird or blade of grass, okay? He's a man. And sometimes he needs to not listen. He needs to rest, to love, to laugh. And when he finally does to decide to take to the skies, he's gonna need you to ground him.
Lois Lane: Well, that's what I'm afraid of. I'm grounding him, keeping him from soaring to new heights.
Chloe Sullivan: Oh, Lois... that is so not what he thinks. But since you're not gonna meet him at the altar...
[gives Clark's vows to Lois]
Chloe Sullivan: ...you should hear that from his own words.

Lois Lane: You think those three prophets, or whatever you call them, took Tess?
Clark Kent: We're about to find out. She left her cellphone underneath the car seat with a video message for one of us to find.
Lois Lane: One of us with x-ray vision, maybe.

Clark Kent: Lois, we know the prophets use the people's darkness to mark them with an Omega. What we don't know is why. And Tess quoted one of the prophecies as saying that the markings weren't just spiritual. There's some sort of ant-life dark force that could bring about the Apocalypse.
Lois Lane: You mean like bringing a giant planet crashing into ours?
Clark Kent: Exactly like that. Maybe the marking has some sort of unexplainable gravitational pull.
Lois Lane: Too bad anti-life equations aren't covered in Physics 101.
Clark Kent: I need to figure out a way to lift the darkness and break whatever's binding these people to that planet.
Lois Lane: Today definitely tops Chloe's Wall of Weird. Exactly how many are marked?
Clark Kent: [scans the people in the room with his x-ray vision, they are marked with the Omega] More than you want to know.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: The Green, Green Glow of Home (#1.8)" (1993)
Clark Kent: Not exactly what you had in mind, huh?
Lois Lane: Well, let's see, so far I've been given a glimpse of ritual crop worship, treated as your girlfriend, and I insulted your parents. No, I couldn't have planned this.

Lois Lane: You are always editing my copy!
Clark Kent: Okay, well next time you fight the bad guy and I'll write the story.

Clark Kent: Mom, Lois and I need to receive a fax tomorrow.
Martha Kent: A fax?
Lois Lane: Facsimile. It's a machine. A person can put a piece of paper in at one end and the person at the other end can get a copy if they have a fax machine too. It's sort of technical.
Martha Kent: [uncovers fax machine] Oh, I was just thinking that if you're expecting something, I think I'd better check the paper.

Clark Kent: Fortunately for you, this weekend Smallville is holding the annual Corn Festival.
Lois Lane: This is a good thing?
Clark Kent: Sure! We'll get to see the Corn Queen Pageant, the Husk-Off, the Corn-o-rama, popcorn, cream corn, corn on the cob - we are in luck.
Lois Lane: [sarcastically] Oh be still my heart.

Clark Kent: [after a bunch of guys jump out of the bushes and point guns at them] There goes the picnic.
Lois Lane: In case you were wondering, this wasn't part of the plan.

Clark Kent: [while line dancing] You actually know how to do this.
Lois Lane: Last year I had a girlfriend convince me it was a great way to meet guys.
Clark Kent: Was it?
Lois Lane: Define "guys."


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Just Say Noah (#3.5)" (1995)
Lois Lane: Smiley says I don't trust or respect you and he doesn't even know why you put up with me.
Clark Kent: Lois, the man's a killer.
Lois Lane: Of course I trust you, and I respect you more than anyone I've ever known. And if I do get angry it's only because I've never opened up to someone so much in my entire life and it hurts when it feels like that trust isn't returned. And you know I put up with you for the same reason you put up with me. It's because I'm completely in love with you.
Clark Kent: And I love you.
[beat]
Clark Kent: Did we just make up?
Lois Lane: I think so.
[they kiss]
Lois Lane: Could maybe we do this someplace not so musty, and not owned by a killer?

Lois Lane: There's some files here divided into piles marked 'accepted' and 'rejected' candidates. Candidates for what?
[looks through them]
Lois Lane: Clark, we're in the rejected pile.
Clark Kent: Lois, don't you think that's probably a good thing?
Lois Lane: Well, I'd like to feel wanted

Jimmy Olsen: Uh, Lois...uh, panic makes a man say strange things sometimes...uh, I was wondering if you could sorta forget what I...
Lois Lane: [reassuringly] Trust me.

Lois Lane: You know, it's just wonderful being angry at a national treasure.
Superman: Lois, I can't help it. People like me. I help them.

Superman: I'm sorry, you were saying?
Lois Lane: Nothing. I'm going to be a professional and go to the interview, and internalize my feelings so I get an ulcer the size of Cleveland.
Superman: Women...Earth women!

Clark Kent: I think we are completely in sync.
Lois Lane: Oh yeah, we're so in sync that when you broke up with me, for my own good, you figured I'd know it was for the best because we're so in sync. We're about as in sync as the English in a Japanese horror film.
Clark Kent: Lois, I was wrong and I admitted it. You can't stay mad.
Lois Lane: Oh, yes I can. You can fly. I can stay mad.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Ultra Woman (#3.7)" (1995)
[as Superman, Clark runs up to a big iron gate and looks around. Lois runs up to him]
Lois Lane: What is it?
Superman: I can't fly.
Lois Lane: What?
Superman: No X-Ray vision, no super hearing, nothing.
Lois Lane: Clark...
Superman: How do YOU feel?
Lois Lane: Fine.
[Lois pulls on one of the doors of the gate. It comes off in her hand! Lois gasps]
Superman: [in disbelief] Oh, boy.

Lois Lane: Did I tell you how much I hate wearing this costume underneath my clothes? Feels like long underwear.
Clark Kent: Yeah, well, it feels good after a while. It's snug. Believe me. You miss it when...
Lois Lane: You don't like just wearing your boxers?
Clark Kent: Boxers? I wear briefs.
Lois Lane: I know.
Clark Kent: Lois did you X-ray my...?
[Lois laughs jokingly]
Lois Lane: I was just kidding. Geez.

Lois Lane: Will you marry me?
Clark Kent: [caressing her face] Who's asking, Lois or Ultrawoman?
Lois Lane: [smiling] Who's answering, Clark or Superman?
Clark Kent: I'm answering.
Lois Lane: I'm waiting.
Clark Kent: Yes.

Clark Kent: But you don't want the world knowing it's Lois Lane stopping trucks. So...
Lois Lane: Does it mean I have to wear glasses?

Lois Lane: [after stopping a truck] Ah, those shoes cost $75... Does the superhero's union cover expenses?
Clark Kent: No, but it does bring up an interesting issue.
Lois Lane: Which is...
Clark Kent: Well, you're just not the kind of person who can sit around and watch someone in trouble if you can help.
Lois Lane: Oh, I have a bad feeling about where this is going.
Clark Kent: But you don't want the world knowing that it's Lois Lane stopping trucks. So...
Lois Lane: Does this mean I have to wear glasses?
[Later at Martha and Jonathan's house, Martha checks a bag of rolled materials]
Perry White: [laughing] Oh, no, dear. Of course not. I'm thinking about a mask.
Lois Lane: [holding rolls of material] A mask?
Martha Kent: [serving Lois a cup of tea] Oh, I think a mask would be very sharp!
Perry White: How about a cape?
Lois Lane: Uh, you guys, could we just slow down? I don't think I can do this.
Perry White: No cape?
Lois Lane: No, I... I mean ANY of it. Uh, this... it's just... it's not me, it's Clark. You know, he's putting on this brave face, but inside I know this is eating him alive. If he sees me in a cape and tights, how do you think that's gonna make him feel?
Martha Kent: Lois, Clark is strong. And I'm not talking about how much he can benchpress. He's strong where it counts, and WHEN it counts.
Perry White: He'll get through this. You BOTH will. Now...
[Martha holds one of Lois' shoes. The bottom of the heel is worn]
Perry White: Let's talk boots.

[In a suit and tie, Lois arrives at the Daily Planet. She finds Jimmy setting up several bouquets and wreaths of flowers]
Lois Lane: Jimmy, what are these?
Jimmy Olsen: They're for Ultrawoman.
Lois Lane: Really.
[Lois looks at a card with one of the bouquets]
Lois Lane: The Governor.
[Lois sees more cards]
Lois Lane: Fabio...
[Lois chuckles]
Lois Lane: Brad Pitt. Deion Sanders... Jimmy Ol... Jimmy?
[Jimmy chuckles]
Jimmy Olsen: I know it's not the biggest, but you think she'll like it?
Lois Lane: Well, I...
Jimmy Olsen: I can't get her out of my mind, Lois. I know it sounds crazy, but the way she looked in those tights... and the boots, I mean... you think they're leather?
Lois Lane: [awkwardly] I think you should apply ice.
[Clark arrives. Tiny pieces of facial tissue are stuck to his face]
Jimmy Olsen: Hey! Morning, C.K. Whoa! Cut yourself shaving?
Clark Kent: [chuckles] Repeatedly.
[Jimmy walks away]
Lois Lane: [smirking] Morning.
Clark Kent: Morning.
[Clark looks at some of the flowers]
Clark Kent: Ultrawoman?
[Lois chuckles speechlessly. Clark chuckles back]
Clark Kent: [reading a card] Antonio Banderas.
[Clark chuckles as he crumples the card and throws it out of harm's way]
Clark Kent: Never liked that guy.
[Clark walks away. Lois bends down and picks up the crumpled card]
Lois Lane: [under her breath] Me neither.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Witness (#1.13)" (1994)
Clark Kent: Excuse me for caring!
Lois Lane: I love it that you care.

Clark Kent: You are really high maintenance, you know that?
Lois Lane: But I'm worth it.

Superman: You better be careful, if the killer reads between the lines of your story and realizes that you were there...
Lois Lane: You read my work?
Superman: Always.

Lois Lane: Come on.
Clark Kent: Where are we going?
Lois Lane: I thought you might like to walk me home.
Clark Kent: I thought you didn't need a bodyguard.
Lois Lane: Who said anything about a bodyguard?

Lois Lane: Clark, you can drop the Kevin-Costner-protecting-Whitney-Houston bit. I think we're safe now.

Lois Lane: [after Clark and Perry have advised her to omit parts of her story for safety reasons] How about the part where the man was *dead*? Can I keep that in?


"Smallville: Commencement (#4.22)" (2005)
Lois Lane: Clark, I know how devastated you must be but if you could just keep the tears to a minimum, I'd appreciate it.
Clark Kent: I'll try.

Lois Lane: Look, I - I just want you to know, Clark, that when I'm sitting in the audience today at your graduation and you stand on at that stage in front of all those people, I'm going to be looking up at you and thinking one thing.
Clark Kent: What's that?
Lois Lane: Please, God, don't let him trip.

Clark Kent: Journalism. You ever thought about that? You wrote some half-decent articles in your short-lived career at the Torch.
Lois Lane: Kill me first. Even if I could spell, the last thing I'd do is spend my time in a newsroom. With my luck, I'd probably end up across the desk from the most bumbling reporter on the masthead.

Clark Kent: Lois, I'm not sure what I'm gonna do without you.
Lois Lane: Come on, Clark, your future's laid out right in front of you. You're gonna go to community college, major in agriculture, probably minor in law enforcement. Then you and Lana will have a nice little church wedding.
Clark Kent: Excuse me?
Lois Lane: It's written in the stars, and you know it. It's only a matter of time before you join the bowling league, take over the family farm and then, well, you and Lana can bring little Clark Jr. into the world.
Clark Kent: I think you're hallucinating.
Lois Lane: No, hallucinating would be imagining Clark Kent going off the big city to make his mark on the world. I'm just being realistic.

Lois Lane: Nightmare? So that's what all this commotion is about?
Jonathan Kent: Lois.
Lois Lane: [to Clark] You know, if it makes you feel any better, I have them all the time. I had this one last week. Really scary. This guy wearing a red cape...
Clark Kent: [sarcastic] Oh, that sounds horrible, Lois.

Lois Lane: You know, I took this career test in some magazine. It said that my perfect job would be a radio disc jockey.
Clark Kent: That would make sense. You talk enough. There won't be any dead air.
Lois Lane: You mock me now, Smallville, but you wait and see.


"Smallville: Spirit (#4.18)" (2005)
Lois Lane: [to Clark after Chloe shows prom queen pride] Okay, Smallville, I clicked my heels together three times and nothing happened. Better tell me what's going on.

Lois Lane: Mrs. Kent, a lot of things are possible in this world, but there will be a man on Mars before Clark and I go to Prom together.
Martha Kent: [Possessed by Dawn] So what, you two just get together and mack, but keep it on the down-low in public?
Clark Kent: Mom!
Lois Lane: I don't mean to be rude, Mrs. Kent, but did you crack open the cooking sherry?

Clark Kent: Lois, wasn't this not in the realm of possibilities?
Lois Lane: [Possessed by Dawn] Anything is possible, Clark. Anything.

Lois Lane: What the hell am I doing in a dress, and what the hell am I doing at your Prom?
Clark Kent: Oh, no.
Lois Lane: [Pointing to the corsage pinned to her dress] Did you pin that on me?
Clark Kent: I'll explain later, Lois.
Lois Lane: A little close to the boob, don't you think?

Chloe Sullivan: You know, Lois, I think Clark might have a lot more to offer than you realize.
Lois Lane: I wouldn't bet on it.

Lois Lane: Okay Smallville I clicked my heels together three times and nothing happened, you'd better tell me what is going on.


"Smallville: Devoted (#4.4)" (2004)
Lois Lane: Oh, advanced chem. How many cheerleaders does it take to draw a double helix?
Mandy: You wanna quote?
Lois Lane: Yeah.
Mandy: Back off, bitch.

[Clark is making out with Mandy so Lois can steal her purse]
Mandy: You're so strong.
Clark Kent: [hesitates] You're so beautiful.
Lois Lane: [whispers] I'm so grossed out.

Lois Lane: Don't worry. I'll visit.
Clark Kent: Is that a promise or a threat?

Lois Lane: I'm glad you made the team, Clark, but why be a conformist? At least with the whole farm boy plaid thing, as lame as it is, it completely belongs to you.
Clark Kent: In the future, let's restrict our conversations to "hello" and "goodbye."

Clark Kent: Chloe, you okay?
Chloe Sullivan: Yeah. Fine.
Mandy: I can't believe you, Clark.
Lois Lane: Oh, please. Do you know how pathetic it is that you had to resort to chemicals to control your boyfriend?
Mandy: I'm sick of being a distant second to a football.
Lois Lane: So you create a bunch of psycho nutjobs?
[to Chloe]
Lois Lane: No offense.
Chloe Sullivan: None taken.
Clark Kent: What, uh... what took you so long?
Chloe Sullivan: [covering] Oh, she was attacked by a, um... crazy... plumber.
Lois Lane: Yeah.

Clark Kent: Look, the cheerleaders are spiking the water cooler at practice. That's why Chloe and the players are acting so weird.
Lois Lane: Nice work, Smallville. You want to know what they're using?
Clark Kent: You actually did some investigative reporting?
Lois Lane: My cousin goes Martha Stewart without the jail time? Yeah, suddenly the power of the press interests me.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: I'm Looking Through You (#1.4)" (1993)
Clark Kent: But marriage is about sharing everything you have, even if you don't feel like it.
Lois Lane: So is divorce. Just ask my mother.

Lois Lane: Couldn't you afford the whole dress?
Cat Grant: Less is more, darling. Sometimes.

Lois Lane: [playing a game of "which would you rather"] What about you?
Clark Kent: What?
Lois Lane: Invisible or fly?
Clark Kent: Fly.
Lois Lane: Really? You know, I never thought I would say this, Clark, but you and I have something in common.
Clark Kent: What's that?
Lois Lane: Superman. You want to fly like him, and I want to fly with him.

Superman: You'll always be special to me, Lois.
Lois Lane: I will?
Superman: You're the first woman who ever...interviewed me.

Lois Lane: See, Clark? There is no such thing as the invisible man.
Clark Kent: [sadly] Yes there is, Lois.

Perry White: Clark?
Clark Kent: Right here, sir.
Perry White: Oh, Kent. Didn't see you. I take it that you and Lois are on that "Superman gets the key to the city" story?
Lois Lane: Yeah. On it.
Perry White: Great.
Clark Kent: What's the matter, Lois? Bored with Superman already?
Lois Lane: I was standing right in front of him, and he didn't notice me.
Cat Grant: What's to notice?


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Resurrection (#2.17)" (1995)
Lois: Just let me do most of the talking.
Clark: You usually do.

Lois Lane: Uh...Mrs. McCarthy, did Sean have any friends?
Mrs. Macarthy: Only one that I know of. They were pen pals.
Lois Lane: They wrote to each other?
Mrs. Macarthy: Heavens, no! They met in the pen.

Agent Dan Scardino: Well, look who's here, if it isn't the man with the smoldering eyes.
Clark Kent: What are you talking about?
Agent Dan Scardino: Mayson's diary. Pretty steamy stuff. Reads like an Emily Bronte novel.
Lois Lane: You read Emily Bronte?
Agent Dan Scardino: What can I say, I'm a hopeless romantic.

Clark Kent: Uh, Lois, could you hand me a nail file?
Lois Lane: Why do men always assume that women have nail files with them?
Clark Kent: I'm sorry, but do you have a nail file?
Lois Lane: Actually, I do, but only because it's part of my pocket knife.

Lois Lane: [picking a lock] I could get into any door in this city.
Clark Kent: I know that's what worries me.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: A Bolt from the Blue (#2.8)" (1994)
Lois Lane: We need to talk to Superman, and the only way I can ever get his attention is to fall out a window, which I'd rather not do right now, or tell you. So, here I am.
Clark Kent: You know, I'll be right back. I forgot my mail downstairs.
Lois Lane: Clark, this is important. You can get your mail later.
Clark Kent: Yeah, but I'm expecting my, uh... cheese-of-the-month shipment. I'll be right back.

Lois Lane: Everything is fine. Except, I'm in a cage, in a bunker, underneath a mausoleum, in a cemetery, and nobody knows I'm here except a bunch of very strange people

Dr. Gretchen Kelly: Maybe you'd like your teeth rearranged.
Lois Lane: You can try, Brunhilda.

Lois Lane: [to Ms. Venom] Listen, if you can remember that name, I'll try and talk Clark here into letting you tattoo the Battle of Midway on his chest.

Lois Lane: What kind of a person keeps a body frozen in a glass case?
Clark Kent: Somebody who's having a really hard time getting a date?


"Smallville: Pandora (#9.9)" (2009)
Basqat: Why are you out of uniform?
Lois Lane: Maybe because I dropped out of Girl Scouts years ago.
Basqat: You're bleeding. You're nothing but a filthy human. This zone is off-limits to your kind.
Lois Lane: But this dream is all mine, so what's with the attitude?
Basqat: It is not your place to ask questions.
Lois Lane: I'm a reporter. Asking questions is in my blood.
Basqat: Well, then...
[comes closer to Lois]
Basqat: It would be a shame to spill it.
[a beat. Lois runs down the street and around the corner, only to have Basqat appear in front of her. She gasps, but spots the phone booth behind him]
Lois Lane: The Red-Blue Blur - He'll stop you.
Basqat: Not under a red sun. Look around you. Your Blur is dead.

Zod: I'm General Zod. And all of this is mine to give if you give me the names of whoever snuck you into the restricted zone.
Lois Lane: My Dad's a general, too. And *he* couldn't get me to spill how I got an M1 Abrams tank to take me to the prom. So I'm definitely not telling *you* anything.

Lois Lane: [to Tess] You redheaded rat!
Zod: Do you know her?
Tess Mercer: She used to work for me. But then she disappeared.
Lois Lane: [punches Tess in her face] Traitor!
Tess Mercer: I am this planet's savior! I helped General Zod take power to ensure this Earth's survival.
Lois Lane: Tess Mercer, the ultimate ecoterrorist.
Zod: And what are *you*? I understand you were seen talking to Clark Kent. It was only a matter of time before the resistance got to him.
Lois Lane: The only thing I'm resisting is the urge to kick both your asses. And if Clark were here right now, he would back me up.
Zod: The only reason Clark is still alive is because I hoped he'd join us to bridge the gap between our people.
Tess Mercer: Trust me, Zod. No one has worked as hard as I have to get Clark to see the good that we're doing. But I think we fooled ourselves long enough. He won't come around.
Zod: Which is why neither of you is any good to me alive.
Lois Lane: Excuse me?
Zod: A double execution will send out a strong message to anyone who would dare defy me. Hmm. Take heart, Lois. At least you can enjoy a glorious last meal.

Lois Lane: [to Tess] You betrayed the entire human race for some crappy dog tags. Way to go!

Lois Lane: [about Watchtower] Okay, Chloe, remember when we were 10 and I kicked you out of my clubhouse for spilling soda and you said you'd build a cooler one? You win.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Pheromone, My Lovely (#1.10)" (1993)
Lois Lane: [to Clark] All right, maybe, somewhere very deep inside me is some eensy-weensy, microcosmic - although highly unlikely - possibility that I feel some sort of unmotivated, completely unrealistic attraction to you.

Clark Kent: Haven't you ever played hooky, Lois?
Lois Lane: Never. Anyway, what is so good about playing hooky.
Clark Kent: Being someplace you're not supposed to be, doing something you're not supposed to do - it's fun.
Lois Lane: I had fun in high school, Chess Club, Math Club. What are you saying Clark? That I'm not a fun person? That I don't know how to have any fun?

Lois Lane: I think I figured out why I thought you looked like Superman.
Clark Kent: Why?
Lois Lane: Every woman in love thinks her man looks like Superman.

Lois Lane: [perching herself seductively on his desk] Clark?
Clark Kent: Just a sec, Lois, I-
[notices what she's doing]
Lois Lane: What ya workin' on?
Clark Kent: The dock strike. You know the two sides really aren't that far apart.
Lois Lane: How far apart are they? Really?
Clark Kent: Lois, are you feeling ok?
Lois Lane: Never better. I just couldn't help noticing how very handsome you look today.
Clark Kent: Handsome?
Lois Lane: Very.
Clark Kent: Oh I get it. What do you want? Research? Your VCR Fixed? A ride to the airport? A blind date for your-
Lois Lane: No, I don't want anything except you.

Clark Kent: Lois, I can't take it anymore, if you really want me, I'm yours.
Lois Lane: [pushing him away] Clark! Have you lost your mind?!
[looks down at what she's wearing]
Lois Lane: Or have I lost mine?


Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)
Lois Lane: You're psychotic.
Lex Luthor: That is a three syllable word for any thought too big for little minds.

Swanwick: Here's the truth: a reporter got greedy for a scoop and went where she shouldn't have, Superman acted like some rogue combatant to rescue her, and people died. Don't invent a conspiracy theory to put back his halo, or yours.
Lois Lane: I don't have a halo over my head, General. I walked into the desert, people died. It keeps me awake at night. It should.

Superman: All this time I've been living my life the way my father saw it. Righting wrongs for a ghost, thinking I'm here to do good. Superman was never real. Just the dream of a farmer from Kansas.
Lois Lane: That farmer's dream is all some people have. It's all that gives them hope.
[touches the S shield]
Lois Lane: This means something.
Superman: It did on my world. My world doesn't exist anymore.

Batman: [suffocating Superman with his foot on his throat] You were never a god. You were never even a man!
Superman: [hardly breathing] You're letting them kill Martha...
Batman: What does that mean? Why did you say that name?
Superman: Find him... Save Martha...
Batman: Why did you say that name? Martha? Why did you say that name? WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME?
Lois Lane: [enters running] It's his mother's name! It's his mother's name.

Superman: Luthor. He wanted your life for her's. She's losing time.
Lois Lane: The scout ship seems to be drawing power from the city. It's gotta be Lex.
Batman: They need you at that ship. I'll find her.
Superman: My mother needs me.
Batman: [stops him] Wait. I'll make you a promise: Martha won't die tonight.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Illusions of Grandeur (#1.14)" (1994)
Lois Lane: I like being surprised, as long as I know about it in advance.

Nicky Collins: Look, that's the box I was in.
Lois Lane: Well, at least we know there's nothing surprising about this trick anymore.
[opens the box to see a dead body inside and closes it fast]
Lois Lane: No. No surprise

Lois Lane: A trick's a trick no matter how big or small, once you figure it out it's not magic any more.

Clark Kent: Close your eyes.
[Lois gives him a look]
Clark Kent: Close them.
[Lois closes her eyes]
Clark Kent: Count to three.
Lois Lane: [reluctantly] 1, 2, 3
[opens her eyes and there are flowers sitting on her desk]
Lois Lane: How did you do that?
Clark Kent: If I told you, it wouldn't be magic anymore.

Lois Lane: [to Cat after finding out that Arthur Chow married someone else] That's too bad. I already had my wedding present picked out for you. Personalized stationary: "From the desk of Cat Chow."


"Smallville: Aqua (#5.4)" (2005)
[to Arthur referring to his swimwear]
Lois Lane: You know this, uh, orange-and-green thing you got going? It looks like Flipper threw up.

Arthur Curry: Maybe you ought to stick to the shallow end until you know how to swim, gorgeous.
Lois Lane: Maybe you ought to try a breath mint, surfer boy.

Lois Lane: You're not a military brat, are you?
Arthur Curry: No, just a brat.

Lois Lane: You don't even know me.
Arthur Curry: What's to know? You're abrasive, sarcastic, and you never shut up.
Lois Lane: Yeah, those are my good qualities.

Lois Lane: I've known a lot of guys who wanna own the world; I haven't met very many who actually wanna save it. When am I ever going to meet someone like that again?
Clark: Lois, I promise someday, you'll meet someone even more special.


"Smallville: Homecoming (#10.4)" (2010)
Clark Kent: I'm from another time.
Future Lois Lane: No kidding. Clark, you're from another planet. That's not exactly a news flash.

Future Lois Lane: Wait a minute. Oh, no. Kryptonite again?
Clark Kent: Look, I...
Future Lois Lane: [looks into Clark's eyes] Blue? Red? Not green? Please tell it's not the black. Because that was a disaster.
Clark Kent: Look, I just... I need the Legion ring. Lois, do you know where it is?
Future Lois Lane: Is that a joke, Clark? Touch it once, shame on you. Touch it twice it, shame on me. And actually, I could really use it right now, because we need to be on the opposite sides of town in ten minutes.

Lois Lane: Come on. Did you forget? Tomorrow's our Smallville High reunion.
Clark Kent: Did you say *our* reunion?
Lois Lane: Yes.
Clark Kent: You were enrolled there for like...
Lois Lane: Twenty three days.
Clark Kent: You showed up for five.
Lois Lane: That's a record in my book. Smallville is the closest thing to a past that this military brat has, and I am not gonna miss it. We don't have to be dating to show up at a reunion together.
Clark Kent: There's a lot of memories there for me.
Lois Lane: Come on, Clark. It would mean a lot to me, seeing all those familiar faces, like I had a place to fit in. And you, I mean, you put the Smallville in Smallville, Smallville. Besides, what's the worst that can happen?

Greg Arkin: I have a message for Clark Kent.
Lois Lane: Yeah? How about "Don't leave your date with Punch Bowl Maddy"?
Greg Arkin: Something tells me it's for a good reason. You know, Clark is the reason a lot of us are still here.
Lois Lane: Oh?
Greg Arkin: I kind of got caught up in my web of obsession. He set me straight. It's not every place that has a hometown hero like Clark Kent.
Lois Lane: That's the kind of guy he is.
Greg Arkin: Just tell him. Tell him thank you.

Lois Lane: [to Clark] Now, this is the homecoming I'm talking about. Thank God you squeaked out a state championship in your senior year.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Contact (#3.3)" (1995)
Lois Lane: [standing outside an executive's office] Do you hear anything?
Clark Kent: They're out of three-hole paper.

Lois Lane: [to the newsroom] If you want some entertainment, turn on the TV!

Lois Lane, Clark Kent: Jimmy!
Jimmy Olsen: Hey, guys, Luis in research can only go so fast.
Lois Lane: Forget the books. Call the cops and see...
Clark Kent: ...if there was another robbery yesterday...
Lois Lane: ...at exactly 3:00, particularly at a...
Clark Kent: ...high tech firm. Ask for everything...
Lois Lane: ...they've got.
Jimmy Olsen: [smiling] Did you guys practice that?
Lois Lane: Haha
Lois Lane, Clark Kent: GO!

Star: Is there anything else you can remember, anything else important?
Clark Kent: [under hypnosis] Yes. His secretary had the most beautiful body in the world.
Lois Lane: What?!
Clark Kent: Next to Lois.

[after hypnotizing Clark to help him remember something he saw]
Star: What's your name?
Clark Kent: Kal-El.
Lois Lane: [laughs nervously] This guy. He can joke even under hypnosis.


"Smallville: Crimson (#6.13)" (2007)
Lois Lane: Please tell me we weren't just set up.
Clark Kent: Looks like it.
Lois Lane: Us. That's like hot fudge and halibut.
Clark Kent: I take it I'm the halibut.
Lois Lane: Naturally.

Lois Lane: Clark! So what if your signature move is driving a tractor? I think it's adorable.
Clark Kent: You know, Lois, I think that it's time for you to meet the real Clark Kent.

Lois Lane: Lana is your past. I'm your future.
Clark Kent: This is the present.

Lois Lane: Well, I guess it's best that neither of us remembers. I mean, I can't even really picture the two of us... You don't think that we...
Clark Kent: [grinning] Think that we what?
Lois Lane: You know... that we...
[long awkward pause]
Clark Kent: No, Lois. I think I'd remember.
Lois Lane: [relieved] Yeah. 'Course you would. Highlight of your life.
Clark Kent: Though I did find something. I think you made it for me.
Lois Lane: Whitesnake. Wow. I must have really liked you.

Lois Lane: I knew I kissed you before. In the alley. You're Green Arrow.
Clark Kent: Hardly. I was pretending to be so you wouldn't know it was Oliver.
Lois Lane: Oliver? Oh, my God. All those times he disappeared. What is my deal with emotionally-unavailable weekend warriors? Thank God I finally found a normal guy.
Clark Kent: What do you mean, 'normal?' Oliver's not even in the same league as me.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Madame Ex (#2.1)" (1994)
Lois Lane: [after Clark had thrown a tire around a man while he was running away] How did you catch him?
Clark Kent: He got... er..."tired"

Lois Lane: So when do we start blaming my parents for everything?
Arianna Carlin: Maybe later.

Lois Lane: Wow, you look great. A little heavy on the eye liner, I think.
Lois Double: Sorry, but you're a little bit plain for me.
Lois Lane: Plain?! Sure beats whatever shopping channel told you that was a good look.
Lois Double: Hey, you gotta act like a prissy, glorified typist, you gotta dress the part.
Lois Lane: Well, my hair has more bounce than this cheap wig.
[she tries to pull it off, but it's real hair]

Lois Lane: But, my reporter's instinct says something's up. What does your instinct say?
Clark Kent: My instincts say, never argue with a woman who's just been behind bars.

Lois Lane: You still think I'm crazy?
Clark Kent: I think you're brilliant, but there's a fine line between brilliance and lunacy.


"Smallville: Booster (#10.18)" (2011)
Lois Lane: [to Clark] Booster Gold's star will burn off faster than you can say "up, up, and away."

Ted Kord: This boy is absolutely unique. He managed to shutdown the scarab.
Lois Lane: I'm guessing not everyone has what it takes to do that. So, Mr. Kord, does this mean that you'll be able to remove it from him?
Jaime Reyes: I- No. I mean, will that take away the power it gives me?
Ted Kord: Yes, but...
Jaime Reyes: I want to learn how to use them. I want to be a hero like Booster Gold.
Booster Gold: I don't know, kid. You know... what do you say we give Miss Lane here an exclusive on the *real* hero of the day?

Cat Grant: Lois, Clark's nice and all, if you wanna invest in a fixer-upper, but he's no Blur.
Lois Lane: [pleased] No. No, he's not.

Lois Lane: [about Booster Gold] What an ass.
Cat Grant: You mean asset.
Lois Lane: What?
Cat Grant: You wanted me to believe in heroes, Lois. Well, I think I finally might. He isn't hiding anything. You can see his face. His name...
Lois Lane: Is Booster Gold.
Cat Grant: Booster Gold could be the city's answer to inspiration, and my answer to that promotion.
Lois Lane: You're up for my promotion?
Cat Grant: Isn't yours just yet. And thats to my reporting on the VRA, I've gathered myself a small but vocal fan base. You should read their tweets. They love me. Enough to convince the powers-that-be to put my hat in the ring for that desk upstairs. May the best reporter win.
Lois Lane: Cat Grant, like nails on a chalkboard.

Clark Kent: Lois, I was like that in Smallville. The thought of going back to that, I...
Lois Lane: Clark, the real you can burn holes through buildings with a look, and lift a freight train with one finger. Get over it.
Clark Kent: You know, the last thing you should worry about is teaching me Mild-Mannered 101. You should be focusing on that promotion now that Steve Lombard went to Daily Star. They said that desk could be yours.
Lois Lane: I'm counting on it.


"Smallville: Lucy (#4.16)" (2005)
Lois Lane: You're going to realize that Clark's sense of humor is an acquired taste; much like his sense of fashion.

Lois Lane: You're amazing, Smallville. You always look for the best in people even when they walk all over you.
Clark Kent: I guess that explains why we're friends.
Lois Lane: Oh, we're friends now?
Clark Kent: Well, I won't tell anyone if you don't.

Clark Kent: How are you holding up?
Lois Lane: Oh, just got off the phone with the General.
Clark Kent: Oh. That was all the screaming I heard from the house.

Lois Lane: I want to know why you turned to a life of crime when you have everything in the world going for you. You're as close to fricking perfect as it gets!
Lucy Lane: Because that's what the General always wanted. I just went along and played the part. From the day I left for school, all I wanted was to go home.
Lois Lane: Well, why didn't you tell the General that?
Lucy Lane: How could I? It was clear he didn't want me around. He wanted you.
Lois Lane: What are you talking about?
Lucy Lane: Why do you think he sent me off to school after mom died?
Lois Lane: He sent you off to school because you were brilliant and deserved the best education available.
Lucy Lane: Well, you can think whatever you want. But the fact is I always envied you.
Lois Lane: Me? I was being dragged around the world like a spare piece of luggage.
Lucy Lane: Yeah, but you had something I never had.
Lois Lane: What?
Lucy Lane: You had dad.
Lois Lane: Luce... I don't think either of us ever had dad.

Lois Lane: When my mother died, my dad had two girls he didn't know how to deal with, so he did what every good military leader would do. He instituted a chain of command, and I reported to him...
Clark Kent: Lucy reported to you.
Lois Lane: Yeah. Takes sibling rivalry to a whole new level. I had to make sure she had three square meals, got to school, did her homework.
Clark Kent: You became her mother.
Lois Lane: Yeah, except I was... not prepared. I used to give her advice like, uh, you know, "don't kiss a boy or you're gonna get pregnant" and yeah, maybe she had a few more chores than most kids.
Clark Kent: Is that why she decided to go to boarding school?
Lois Lane: Uh... heh, unlike your family, there was no discussion. You know, when the General gives an order, you're expected to carry it out.
Clark Kent: Whoa. Sounds kind of harsh.
Lois Lane: Trust me, Lucy got the better end of the deal. I mean, don't get me wrong, she totally deserves it. But I... I guess there was just a part of me that was always jealous she got out and I didn't.


"Smallville: Patriot (#10.9)" (2010)
Mera: I am Mera, wife of Orin, future king of the Seven Seas. The one you call Arthur Curry.
Lois Lane: A.C. got married. Aren't you just full of reveals?
Mera: Orin is finally embracing his destiny and leading his people.
Lois Lane: Hang on. "His people." Like, down under and not Australia? Anyway, I need to find Clark.
Mera: Certainly you're not a partner in his endeavors?
Lois Lane: Wow, some people get a ring on their finger, and everyone else's relationship just doesn't cut it.
Mera: Spoken like one who can't be satisfied by a man of her own kind. You desire those who are extraordinary - first Orin, then Oliver, now Clark.
Lois Lane: You've gotta be kidding me? Little Mermaid? Your prince and I dated for a day.
Mera: It's understandable that you seek that would seek a superior being companion. I'm just surprised that powerful men would choose someone of lesser ability.
Lois Lane: Listen, squid lips, you don't anything about me *or* Clark.
Mera: I know you came here looking for Clark. You're in the dark... protected but not included. Do you really want the harsh light of truth?

Tess Mercer: [appears on screen, to Clark] I ran some tests on the alloy you found and...
[sees Lois with Clark]
Tess Mercer: Lois. Hi.
Lois Lane: Okay, you know how I hate being all emo-relationship chick? It's just, I can't get you on the phone, but Tess can Skype with you?
Clark Kent: This isn't a social call.
Lois Lane: And I am? We practically share a desk chair, but now I'm still not the real work wife.
Tess Mercer: Sorry to interrupt "The Real Housewives of Metropolis," but there's something we need to know about this alloy we tested.

Lois Lane: You didn't tell anyone about the darkness because you think you're supposed to be invincible. Right? And it terrifies you that you're not.
Clark Kent: Lois, how am I suppose to protect people, protect *you*, if I can't protect myself from the darkness?
Lois Lane: By not trying to do it alone. We're in this together now - all of us. And the team needs to know the bigger war we're fighting.

Lois Lane: Wow.
Clark Kent: Welcome to Watchtower - the official headquarters of the home team.
Tess Mercer: Which you are clearly on now. Finally.
Lois Lane: Is that a com-sat hook-up? I take back the whole "work wife" thing. Your satellite officially trumps my cellphone.
Tess Mercer: Forget it. From now, mi com-sat es su com-sat.

Clark Kent: We all know what the government was up to. But those prisons were part of much bigger threat. Hate crimes are up. People like Slade, they're getting more control. And Godfrey's anti-vigilante message - it's reaching more ears than ever before, and I don't think it's a coincidence.
Tess Mercer: Sadly, Clark, there's no mystery to human fear and hatred.
Clark Kent: This time, there might be. I think there's something more behind the darkness, something that hero haters like Slade don't even know is affecting them. When I sent the Kandorians away through the portal in space, I opened a door to something else to come to Earth.
Oliver Queen: Are you serious trying to tell me that, out of all the intergalactic bad boys we've ever faced, this one's actually worse?
Clark Kent: This is *much* worse. We can't even see it to fight it. This thing is like an evil that's spreading over the Earth. It preys upon the dark side that we already have. It feeds on our doubts, our fears, and our distrust.
Oliver Queen: Well, I'd say, from where I'm standing, and it's already on the winning side.
Clark Kent: I think it even affected Slade. Just before the facility exploded, I saw something on Slade's skull - the Omega symbol. It was like it was branded there. Almost like the mark...
Tess Mercer: ...of The Beast in Revelations.
Lois Lane: Which would explain why he veered so far off his marching orders.
Oliver Queen: I'm guessing you don' t think that Slade's the only pledge to the Alpha-Omega-Die fraternity, right?
Clark Kent: I think the Omega is the sign of corruption. A mark of the darkness has fully taken over someone.
Lois Lane: Didn't Kara say that a person had to be open to the darkness? That it can't infect anyone of pure heart?
Clark Kent: And which one of us doesn't have that weakness? A hidden hatred or fear that this thing couldn't prey upon?
Oliver Queen: So, basically this thing doesn't have to do anything.
Lois Lane: It just waits for everybody's weaknesses, and then we destroy ourselves.
Clark Kent: If we can't stop it, the darkness will infect every person on this planet.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Strange Visitor (From Another Planet) (#1.2)" (1993)
Lois Lane: Where are you from? I mean, you're not from Kansas, that's for sure.
Superman: I'm from another planet. A place called Krypton.
Lois Lane: Do you mind if I write some of this down?
Superman: No.
Lois Lane: You seem, uh, to have all the parts of a man.
Superman: Well, I am a man, Lois. Just like you're a woman.
Lois Lane: I'm really glad you're here. But why are you here?
Superman: To help.
Lois Lane: To help. I need a little bit more of a quote than that. Something like, "I have not yet begun to fight," or, "Damn the torpedoes." Something like that. I mean if you said, "I am here to fight for truth or justice."
Superman: Well truth and justice, that sounds good. You can use that.
[Someone shouts for help]
Lois Lane: What is it?
Superman: Someone's in trouble.
Lois Lane: This is a job for Superman, right?

Superman: I hear you've been looking for me.
Lois Lane: All my life.

Lois Lane: What's going on is the warrant is phony.
Clark Kent: Phony?
Perry White: Phony as a lock of Elvis's hair from a Memphis souvenir shop.

Lois Lane: You really do read minds.
Superman: Not really, but I do have good hearing.

Lois Lane: [to Clark] You are so weird. It works for you, though.


"Smallville: Gone (#4.2)" (2004)
Lois Lane: Gotta say I'm impressed, "Smallville".

Clark Kent: None of this would've happened if I had been there.
Lois Lane: Okay, Commando, I don't get you. Half the time, you're all meek "Yes, Ma" and "Yes, Pa", and the other half, you are the most overconfident guy I've ever met.
Clark Kent: It doesn't happen to you much, does it? Not being able to peg someone right away?
Lois Lane: Oh, get over yourself. You are not that complicated.

Lois Lane: I don't understand what the big deal is here. We just took a shower.
Clark Kent: [emphasizing the plural] Showers! We took separate showers.

Chloe Sullivan: Lois, what are you doing here?
Lois Lane: Putting the worst two months of my life behind me.


"Smallville: Stiletto (#8.19)" (2009)
Lois Lane: Meet Stiletto. I was going to sew an "S" into the chest. Is that tacky?

Clark Kent: Lois?
Lois Lane: [in British accent] Lois? Who's Lois? I'm Stiletto. I should get back to my cave.
Clark Kent: Lois, you could have a bag over your head and I'd still know it's you.
Lois Lane: Go figure. I want the Red-Blue Blue, I get the exact opposite.
Clark Kent: What do you think you're doing?
Lois Lane: What are you doing? You're supposed to be feeding Shelby. Seriously, is there any woman in your life you haven't stood up?
Clark Kent: I saw the way you looked at that scanner and I know how much you want the superhero story, so I came here to make sure you're okay. You're obviously not if you're impersonating the Stiletto.
Lois Lane: Okay, first off, it's just Stiletto. There is no "the". And second, I'm not impersonating anyone. I *am* Stiletto.
Clark Kent: You made up a fake superhero so you could write a story?
Lois Lane: Yeah. Stiletto's only the beginning, Clark. These heels could kick down some major doors for me. What if Stiletto could help me land a one-on-one with the Red-Blue Blur?
Clark Kent: Well, this blur, he - he avoids reporters for a reason.

Lois Lane: Hello to you, too. Expecting Freddy Krueger?
Chloe Sullivan: What are you doing here? I thought you were tracking down Stiletto.
Lois Lane: Oh, that story broke a proverbial heel. It's not happening.

[Lois answers the phone booth and its Clark on the other end as the Red-Blue Blur]
Clark Kent: I received your letter, Miss Lane.
Lois Lane: Call me Lois... if you want. And while we're at it, you wanna weigh in on the whole Red-Blue Blur thing, because it's kind of a mouth full on this end.
Clark Kent: I think there's probably a better name out there. And if there's anyone who can find it, it's you, Miss Lane.


"Smallville: Spell (#4.8)" (2004)
[Clark has freed Lana, Lois, and Chloe from Isobel's spell]
Lois Lane: Why are we lying in the dirt?
Chloe Sullivan: And what the hell are we wearing?

Lois Lane: Okay, what are we doing in the woods? Chloe's right behind me, and the moonlight nature hike? It's making her a little suspicious.
Lana Lang: [possessed by Isobel] I thought it would be nice to get together with my girls before the party.
Chloe Sullivan: [approaching] What party?
Lois Lane: Way to ruin the surprise.
Chloe Sullivan: Oh, you mean the party that you've been planning for the last month?
Lois Lane: You know about that?
Chloe Sullivan: Oh, hello! Investigative reporter. Nothing gets past me. Except why we're playing wood nymph when there's a party waiting for me with my name on it.

Clark Kent: Hey, Lois, what are you doing here? Why aren't you at school?
Lois Lane: We're having a surprise party for Chloe's eighteenth birthday in your barn, remember?
Clark Kent: No. I remember telling you you couldn't have it here.
Lois Lane: Too late now. Everyone's already been invited, and really don't want it getting back to Chloe that you rained on her shindig. That would hurt her feelings.
Clark Kent: What?
Lois Lane: Then I'd have to hurt you.

Clark Kent: Lois, we can't do this tonight. The guy from Princeton's coming to meet me. Besides, my parents are out of town.
Lois Lane: Relax, Smallville. It's just gonna be a couple of people standing around singing "Happy Birthday". It's not gonna be Sodom and Gomorrah. Mr. Ivy League won't even know we're here. Trust me.


"Smallville: Justice (#6.11)" (2007)
Oliver Queen: This is the... the moment, right? The moment I'm going to regret for the rest of my life, isn't it?
Lois Lane: Yes.

Lois Lane: Is it me, or is this relationship all interruptus and no coitus?

Lois Lane: Then stay.
Oliver Queen: I can't, because there are more important things in this world than what I want, and what I love. Someday I can explain why.
Lois Lane: Don't expect me to be waiting around for that when you get back.

Lois Lane: You're like two completely different people. There's the charming, romantic guy that I fell in love with, and then there's this other guy who can't stick around in one place long enough to see what he's missing.
Oliver Queen: Ever since my parents died, I've jumped around from city to city, from continent to continent. And... and in all those years, not once have I regretted leaving anyone. But then I met you.


"Smallville: Hydro (#6.10)" (2007)
Lois Lane: What would you do if one day you realized someone close to you had a serious hero complex?
Clark Kent: Hero complex?
Lois Lane: Hiding his true identity from everyone he supposedly cares about? You can't tell me you wouldn't find something wrong with that.
Clark Kent: Who exactly are we talking about?

Chloe Sullivan: The craziest part is he chucked a guy across an alley, right?
Lois Lane: Oh, yeah.
Chloe Sullivan: And then supersped away. I mean, Who does that?

Lois Lane: Well, he was holding me in his arms, and - Ollie's a good kisser, don't get me wrong - but that Green Arrow? He could teach Ollie a thing or two.

Lois Lane: I think I'm in love with Oliver. I don't know how you ever let Lana go if you felt this way, because I swear the guy could tell me he was from Mars right now and I would find a way to dismiss it as an endearing quirk.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Brutal Youth (#4.5)" (1996)
Lois Lane: [while in bed] Wow!
Clark Kent: I know.
Lois Lane: That was...
Clark Kent: I mean...
Lois Lane: Exactly. The only thing I'd like more is...
Clark Kent: More?
Lois Lane: Yes.
Clark Kent: We could still make those reservations in Hawaii.
Lois Lane: We are not leaving this room.

Lois Lane: How are we going to make it through the day? You'd think after two weeks...
Clark Kent: No, we waited so much longer than two weeks.
Lois Lane: So was it worth it then? The wait, I mean.
Clark Kent: Lois, it was perfect. It was better than perfect. At least, it was for me.
Lois Lane: Clark, it was super!

Lois Lane: So are you saying Superman won't age?
Dr. Klein: No, of course he will. He's not immortal.
Lois Lane: Well, so he will age, but just not like you or me?
Dr. Klein: Well, it's all speculation, you understand, but I think it's safe to say, that long after you and I are dead and gone, Superman will still be in his prime, fighting for truth, justice...
Lois Lane: And the American way.

Lois Lane: Why is so much of your work focused on youth?
Dr. Vita Duetsen: [laughing cynically] You're a woman, you should know. Oh, but then you're still young and vivacious. Probably never occurs to you one day those pimply faced box boys at the supermarket won't be in such a hurry to carry your bag for you.
Lois Lane: Well, I carry my own bags. And I'm married.


"Smallville: Fade (#5.20)" (2006)
[Graham walks in the Kent's home startling Lois while she's exercising]
Lois Lane: Official warning - I'm a third degree black belt. That means I can't be held liable for any funeral costs.

Graham Garrett: Go easy on me; I'm a friend of Clark's. Are you his girlfriend?
Lois Lane: Not in this lifetime.

Lois Lane: Getting swept off my feet by a notorious hit man is just my way of living la vida loca.

Lois Lane: Why can't I just meet a decent guy from a decent family who happens not to be psychopath?
Martha Kent: Oh, Lois. You know, when I was your age, I wasn't dating Prince Charmings, either.
Lois Lane: Really?
Martha Kent: Yeah. I used to attract the dark, mysterious type, too. Until I met Jonathan.
Lois Lane: See, what worries me is that when my Jonathan finally does come around, I'll be looking the other way and I'll miss him completely.
Martha Kent: Well, you have to keep a closer watch. You know, I think we go through these bad relationships for a reason.
Lois Lane: Well, if there's a good reason for all the pain and aggravation, I'm dying to know.
Martha Kent: Maybe... you have to get through all the wrong men so you can recognize the right one.


"Smallville: Doomsday (#8.22)" (2009)
Tess Mercer: Lois, where is the orb?
Lois Lane: What orb?
Tess Mercer: The alien technology from my vault.
Lois Lane: [sarcastically] Oh, that orb.
[Lois reaches for her keys on her desk, Tess kicks her in the arm]
Lois Lane: I guess asking for severance is out of the question.
Tess Mercer: I didn't want this.
Lois Lane: No... You just want to take over the world with some alien nation.
Tess Mercer: I am trying to *save* the world.
Lois Lane: What's wrong with Greenpeace?

Clark Kent: [as Red-Blue Blur] Sometimes, we can't outrun our destiny.
Lois Lane: But I thought you were invincible.
Clark Kent: [as Red-Blue Blur] So did I.

Lois Lane: Jimmy, you stepped on my hand!
Jimmy Olsen: Next time, don't leave your hand on the floor under a desk in an office you're not supposed to be in.
Lois Lane: I'm sorry, did I just get a lecture from Jimmy Olsen?

Lois Lane: Chloe's missing with some beastie boy and you're doing what, exactly?
Clark Kent: No one wants to find Chloe more than I do.
Lois Lane: Except maybe me. Clark, I haven't slept in days and I am dangerously close to a caffeine OD.
Clark Kent: I hadn't noticed.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Bob and Carol and Lois and Clark (#4.8)" (1996)
Superman: Deathstroke.
Deathstroke: Superman.
Lois Lane: Carol.
Carol Stanford: Lois.
Lois Lane: Bob.
Deathstroke: [whispers to Carol] She recognizes me!
Carol Stanford: [whispers back] I've always said that glasses weren't a good enough disguise.

Lois Lane: Oh, I get it. These aren't really street people. They're undercover bodyguards?
Denzler: No, they're street people.
Lois Lane: Well, where is your security?
Denzler: Our security is only hiring people we can trust.
Lois Lane: But you don't trust anybody.
Denzler: Exactly.

Denzler: Is anyone in your life familiar with the use of plastique, AK-47s, strychnine, or similar explosives, weapons, or poisons?
Lois Lane: Only my mother.
Grant Gendell: Ha ha ha! I do like this girl!
Denzler: Yes. Are you now, or have you ever been employed by Gendell Technologies or any of it's subsidiaries?
Lois Lane: No.
Denzler: Or are you acquainted with any employee, past or present?
Lois Lane: Not until today.
Denzler: Aha!
Grant Gendell: She means you, you idiot!

Grant Gendell: Have you been to a foreign country in the last 7 months?
Lois Lane: Does New Jersey count?


Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987)
Lois Lane: You gotta go with your gut.

Lois Lane: I'd want to tell him that I cherished the time we spent together, and I never expected anything from him. Even if I only saw him for a few moments, it made me happy. And I'd want to tell him that I love him and that I'll always love him. And... no matter what happens on this world, I know he tried his best to help us.

Lacy Warfield: You can't park here! You'll get towed! Lois, do you have any idea how much a ticket's gonna cost here?
Lois Lane: Lacy, it's only money!

[Superman is addressing the UN]
Lacy Warfield: What's he gonna say?
Lois Lane: Something wonderful.


"Smallville: Abandoned (#10.8)" (2010)
Lois Lane: [to Shelby] Come on, I'm Watson to his Holmes, Cher to his Sonny? Just like you're Scooby to his Shaggy.

Lois Lane: Hello. Mister... El? I'm here to talk about your son, Clark. Kal-El. Look, I know as a parent, you had to make the hardest decision ever to save your son and send him here alone. When my Mom was dying, she tried to protect me, too. And I love her, but she was wrong. I will never get to hold her again. But you - you can still be there for Clark - I mean, Kal-El. Your son needs a father who believes in him. I-I wish I knowing that I loved him was enough. But Clark Kent can't fully hear it with the ghost of your disappointment haunting him. Your stopping him from fulfilling his potential. He's an amazing man. He's a hero.
[waits for a response from Jor-El, nothing]
Lois Lane: Really? Nothing? You know, you may not care about anybody else but yourself, but Clark does. And you're not 1/10 the Kryptonian he is. He's lucky to be rid of you!

Clark Kent: Yes *and* no. Yes, I think your mother is still watching over you, and, no, I don't think you're crazy.
Lois Lane: She didn't want me to see her because she was afraid she would look weak. I think she felt like she had failed me by leaving. Clark, she's the bravest person I know.
Clark Kent: Maybe our parents thought that their mistakes would be some sort of burden on us.
Lois Lane: I would have liked to said goodbye. I think I could have handled it.
Clark Kent: Maybe they couldn't. I used to think Jor-El was this strong, unshakable force, kind of like I thought I was supposed to be.
Lois Lane: I don't think he's the easiest guy to read, being that he's an ice fortress and all. But there's part of him that's very human.
Clark Kent: Yeah. He blames himself for losing our home. All the weight I thought I had on my shoulders, he was carrying something so much heavier.
Lois Lane: And he didn't want you to carry it with him.
Clark Kent: I'm glad that you got to see him. Thank you for showing me that.
Lois Lane: Thank my Mom.

Clark Kent: Why don't you let me take you out? It's power-ballad night at the Ace of Clubs.
Lois Lane: Clark Kent and karaoke. Isn't that one of the signs of the Apocalypse?


"Superman: The Last Son of Krypton: Part III (#1.3)" (1996)
[looking at footage of Superman]
Lois Lane: Nice "S"...
Clark Kent: Excuse me?
Lois Lane: Here, that "S." He's strong, he flies, he's the Nietschian fantasy all wrapped up in a red cape... the Super-Man.
Clark Kent: "Super-man"?
Perry White: Hey, I like it! "Superman!" It's catchy, it sticks with you, the kind of name that looks great splashed across three columns! Make it four.

Superman: As far as I've been able to piece together, I'm the last survivor of a planet called Krypton.
Lois Lane: [skeptical] Krypton?
Superman: Uh-huh.
Lois Lane: Okay...
Superman: You don't believe me.
Lois Lane: It's a little much.
Superman: Fair enough. All I ask is that you tell the truth about me.
Lois Lane: And that is?
Superman: I'm not here to scare anyone. In fact, I always try to help people whenever possible.
Lois Lane: You sound too good to be true. What's your secret?
Superman: What do you mean?
Lois Lane: Well you don't go around in blue tights and a cape all the time, do you? What do you do in your off hours?
Superman: I think that's a question for another time.
[Flies away]

Lois Lane: Nice work, Smallville. You're only the second person I've ever seen get under Lex's skin.
Clark Kent: Who's the first?
Lois Lane: Me, when I dumped him.
Clark Kent: Whoa!
Lois Lane: Ancient history.

Lois Lane: Nice work, Smallville. You're only the second person I've ever seen get under Lex's skin.
Clark Kent: Who's the first?
Lois Lane: Me. When I dumped him.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: The House of Luthor (#1.21)" (1994)
Lois: Mrs. Lex Luthor. Lois Lane Luthor. Lois Luthor Lane. Lois... Lane... Kent.

Lois Lane: [seeing the officiate at their wedding] The Archbishop!
Lex Luthor: Yes, I'm sorry, the Pope had a previous engagement.

Lex Luthor: [to a distracted Lois] Did you know that Shakespeare didn't write Othello?
Lois Lane: Hm.
Lex Luthor: It was actually written by Dr. Seuss.

Arch-Bishop: Do you Lois take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold from this day forward, in sickness and in health til death do you part?
Lois Lane: I...I...I can't. I'm sorry, Lex, it's -
Perry White: [bursting through the door with the police] Lois, you can't marry this man!
Lois Lane: I know. Is there an echo in here?


"Smallville: Metallo (#9.2)" (2009)
Lois Lane: These dreams are like midnight movie madness in my head.

Tess Mercer: When I came to, you were already gone. We never did get to finish what we started, though. Little rematch?
Lois Lane: I won't fight you, Tess. I just came to tell you I'm not leaving The Daily Planet.
Tess Mercer: You were *never* leaving, Lois. I fired you.
Lois Lane: Well, I'm not going to get into the whole "she said, she said" thing with you. But I do have friends at The Inquisitor, and they would love to run a story about LuthorCorp's C.E.O. and her plans to launch a hostile alien takeover of the world.
Tess Mercer: Except no one would ever believe you.
Lois Lane: Maybe. Maybe not. But do you really want the attention? I'll see you at the office.

Lois Lane: You know, when I asked you if we could table our talk about you-know-who, I meant until I got home.
Chloe Sullivan: Actually, the only table I'm here about is the kind they serve lunch on. I was thinking we could celebrate you getting your job back.
Lois Lane: I would love to. But I'm kind of already on the job. I'm working for you-know-who.
Chloe Sullivan: The Blur?
Lois Lane: Mm-hmm.
Chloe Sullivan: Doing what, exactly?
Lois Lane: Hunting down a real life terminator.
Chloe Sullivan: Lois, that sounds dangerous. Why is he not doing that himself?
Lois Lane: Oh... Sometimes, heroes can't do it all their own, Chloe. That's why they need sidekicks. Rain check on lunch.

Lois Lane: Clark Kent. You're back. I was beginning to think your family lived on some distant planet.
Clark Kent: Must have really missed me.
Lois Lane: Uh... only because the guy who sat in your desk was a certifiable psychopath. Otherwise, I've been so busy, I didn't even notice you were gone.
Clark Kent: Missed you too, Lois. Anything exciting happen while I was gone?
Lois Lane: Well, you'll never believe it, but I helped The Blur stop a homicidal maniac.
Clark Kent: Really? You know, I would *love* to hear about it.
Lois Lane: Okay. Well, it all started when this guy showed up with this *major* grudge against The Blur. He also happens to have these bionic arms and a big, glowing rock for a heart. But that's *way* later in the story.


"Smallville: Bride (#8.10)" (2008)
Oliver Queen: [Lois is sitting outside on the porch away from the reception drinking champagne from the bottle when Oliver finds her] Want a glass with that?
Lois Lane: Oliver. Just the person I want to see right now.
Oliver Queen: [laughs] So, uh, want to tell me what started this lost weekend?
Lois Lane: Go on and enjoy the party. Trust me it will be a real buzz-kill to listen to me whine like Patsy Cline.
Oliver Queen: Yeah, you're probably right. You know, um... I may not be at the top of your confidant list, but if you ever want to talk, I'm here.
Lois Lane: [sighs] I'm just having all these feelings, and I don't know what they mean.
Oliver Queen: Oh. Well, who's the lucky guy?
Lois Lane: [sighs] Having this conversation with an ex is... bad enough without turning up the awkward dial.
Oliver Queen: [chuckles] Right. Well, you know, there's moving on in theory, and then there's the moment that it actually happens. If you like we can start now, and I'll just be a really good friend.
Lois Lane: Okay. It's like I was going along and it just snuck up on me. And I tried to ignore it, but then there are these moments that you can't. Maybe I was reading it wrong. And to add insult to injury, it all went down at tonight's tribute to romantic bliss. I know it sounds sappy... but I thought... just for a minute... that someone needed me.
Oliver Queen: Well, I'm sure he needs you, Lois.
Lois Lane: [scoffs] That's sweet of you to say, but how do you know?
[scoffs]
Oliver Queen: 'Cause I know Clark.
[chuckles]

Jimmy Olsen: You know, speaking of the right person, since you don't have a plus-one tonight, I'd like you to meet one of my friends. Name's Clark Kent. You heard of him?
Lois Lane: Better wear your bow and arrow, Cupid. That bumbling tadpole is not my Prince Charming.
Jimmy Olsen: Well, maybe you just need to jump his lily pad and plant one on him. Come on. I've seen the way you two look at each other.
Lois Lane: [scoffs] You need to get your eyesight checked, Olsen. Clark doesn't like me. He likes... driving me crazy.
Jimmy Olsen: Flirtation 101, Lane. I mean, that's what a guy does when he's into a girl.
Lois Lane: Really?
Jimmy Olsen: Trust me. Lois and Clark would be great together. I can feel it in my gut.
Lois Lane: Well, take some Ex-Lax, and get over it.

Lois Lane: Jimmy's in bad shape.
Clark Kent: The nurse said they had him stabilized.
Lois Lane: But he's not out of the woods. He has severe internal bleeding. They're medevacing him to Star City to one of the country's top surgeons. I'm gonna go with him. I'll stay there until I hear from Chloe. Why did this have to happen to her? Why do these terrible things keep happening all around us?
Clark Kent: I promise. We're gonna get Chloe back.
Lois Lane: What if we can't?

Lois Lane: Uh, Jimmy told me you're going to be filming this epic, Spielberg. I want testimonials, candids, everything, but I don't wanna know you're here. You're a fly on the wall.
Colin: [balls up his fist] Ring that bell.
Lois Lane: No.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Requiem for a Superhero (#1.5)" (1993)
Lois Lane: Have you ever met anybody who's so wrapped up in their work they don't have time for anyone or anything?
Clark Kent: Is this a trick question?

Lois Lane: But Perry, partnership is like marriage.
Perry White: That's right. You've got to work at it.
Lois Lane: It takes patience and understanding and willingness to be supportive.
Perry White: I know, honey. Fake it.

Lois Lane: I'm Dr. Frankenstein's daughter!

Lois Lane: You don't want to be partnered with a hypocritical reporter who talks a good game, but backs off the minute things hit too close to home.
Clark Kent: Yes I do.


"Smallville: Bloodline (#8.8)" (2008)
Lois Lane: I don't want to die here, Clark!
Clark Kent: All we have to do is keep an eye out on each other, okay? We'll be fine.
Lois Lane: We're not fine! We're standing on our graves! We're gonna die, us together. No more farmhouse, no more Daily Planet!
Clark Kent: Listen to me! Listen to me. No one's gonna mess with Lois and Clark, right?
Lois Lane: They better not.

Lois Lane: So, first Kara, then Clark and I. It's like the Kent farm's ground zero for alien abductions.

[referring to the portal's altar in order to escape from the Phantom Zone]
Lois Lane: *This* is our DeLorean?
Kara: We just have to touch it.


"Smallville: Wrath (#7.7)" (2007)
Lois Lane: What? I can't believe you've never had famous franks before!
Grant Gabriel: I can't believe anyone's had famous franks. That thing could survive a nuclear holocaust!

Grant Gabriel: [after kissing Lois] I'm glad I got that off my chest.
Lois Lane: [awkward look] Wow. If news of that spread through the mail room I'd have my name on your door by tomorrow. That's sexual harassment.
[kisses Grant]
Lois Lane: But that wasn't.

Lois Lane: Hey, word of advice there, Smallville. Don't forget flowers on Valentine's Day.
Clark Kent: Lana did this to you?
Lois Lane: Yeah, no offense, but your girlfriend has issues. Not to mention an Amazonian left hook.


"Smallville: Sneeze (#6.2)" (2006)
Lois Lane: I'm out there jogging along, minding my own business when, out of nowhere, a barn door comes falling from the clear, blue sky and almost crushes me. How does that happen?
Clark Kent: Maybe it fell from an airplane.
Lois Lane: Good guess, but the only thing up there was a severely traumatized sparrow.

Lois Lane: Read it.
Chloe Sullivan: Funny, I don't remember there being an "e" in "tornado."
Lois Lane: It's just a little typo.
Chloe Sullivan: And the extra "h" in "weather."

Lois Lane: Miracles really do happen: man walked on the moon, call waiting was created, and Lois Lane got her first by-line on the front page of the Inquisitor.
Chloe Sullivan: Hey, that's great, Lo. I don't know how I feel about the alien angle, but...
Lois Lane: I wasn't too crazy about the E.T. spin, either, but my editor insisted it'd help sell papers, so...
Clark Kent: Well, let's hear it for journalistic integrity.
Lois Lane: Look, I swear, you guys, when I was writing that article, I don't know... I don't think I've ever been happier in my life. The thrill of discovery, the clacking of keys, the scent of fresh ink. Yeah, I think I've finally found my calling.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Honeymoon in Metropolis (#1.11)" (1993)
Clark Kent: What's that?
Lois Lane: My word.
Clark Kent: There's no such word as "chumpy."
Lois Lane: Sure there is. Someone's a chump, therefore, he's chumpy.
Clark Kent: Try again.
Lois Lane: Are you challenging me?
Clark Kent: You bet your sweet little chumpy, I am!

Clark Kent: Are there a few things we should get settled first?
Lois Lane: Such as?
Clark Kent: Well, this is our first night here, alone...together.
Lois Lane: So?
Clark Kent: So, we flip for the bed.
Lois Lane: How about I get the bed and I lend you a pillow?
Clark Kent: How about we alternate nights?
Lois Lane: How about we don't.
Clark Kent: Well, it's a big bed. How about we share?
Lois Lane: How about we alternate nights?
Clark Kent: Deal.

Lois Lane: [they have just entered their ransacked suite and Clark sat on a bomb to keep it from destroying the room] Are you just gonna sit there all night?


"Smallville: Harvest (#10.6)" (2010)
Lois Lane: Our "Twilight Zone" acid trip to the, uh, Phantom prison - that place was...
Clark Kent: Kryptonian.
Lois Lane: Mm. And that horny-toad-looking thing that crashed Chloe and Jimmy's wedding?
Clark Kent: Kryptonian.
Lois Lane: Mm. And the spaceship that I found in the woods near the dam?
Clark Kent: Also Kryptonian, but it wasn't mine - it was my cousin's.
Lois Lane: Sorry about the third degree, Clark. It's just not every week a girl learns her boyfriend's an...
Clark Kent: Alien? And you're still okay with that?
Lois Lane: Are you kidding me? It's like dating a god or Bono.

Lois Lane: Meteor rock. Maybe that's why when I pulled out that blue dagger out of your chest, you - you healed.
Clark Kent: *You* did that?
Lois Lane: Yeah.
Clark Kent: Lois, you didn't just heal me, you brought me back. You saved me.
Lois Lane: Well sometimes even the hero needs a guardian angel, Clark.

Clark Kent: I just don't understand how the believers would allow themselves to be led down such a dark path.
Lois Lane: I guess there's so much chaos out there, people are just desperate for something to give them hope. Now more than ever, the world needs someone to believe in.
Clark Kent: I think I know where this is going.
Lois Lane: Hear me out, Clark. Okay, I wasn't a big fan of Ollie's coming-out party, and I used to think that it was best for you to stay in the shadows, too, but maybe someday soon, you'll have to step into the light. You can be a symbol to inspire everyone that this planet could be a better place.
Clark Kent: I'm not sure anyone's ready to believe a stranger from a strange land.
Lois Lane: If they knew the real Clark Kent, then I am sure the rest of the world will believe in you as much as I do.


"Superman: Ghost in the Machine (#2.14)" (1997)
Lois Lane: But who'd want to destroy Luthor?
[notices Clark's look]
Lois Lane: Well, yeah, but who'd be crazy enough to try?

Clark Kent: Granted, Lois, Luthor does a lot of strange things. But what reason could he possibly have for trying to fool his own bodyguard?
Lois Lane: Maybe he just needed some space. Haven't you ever noticed how she hovers over him, everywhere he goes?
Clark Kent: But, Lois, that's her job.
Lois Lane: It's no wonder why you're still single, Kent.

Lois Lane: Hey, Lex. What went wrong? Premature product launch?


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Swear to God, This Time We're Not Kidding (#4.3)" (1996)
Clark Kent: Lois, I have loved you from the moment I saw you. I love your humor; your passion. The way you dive right in... even when you shouldn't. Because you refuse to just watch the world. You demand that it be a better place, and because of you, it is. And today, I want to give you as much of the world as I can. So I give you my heart, my soul... and our future.
[he slips the ring on her finger]
Lois Lane: Clark, you're my best friend. Until I met you, I never had a best friend. And falling in love with you has been so easy, I don't know why I fought it for so long. You have such gentle grace; such quiet strength; but mostly, such incredible kindness. I've never known anyone with as pure a heart. So today, I give you my love, my honor... and our life together.
[she slips the ring on his finger]

Lois: Clark, you're my best friend. Until I met you I never had a best friend. And falling in love with you has been so easy, I don't know why I fought it so long. You have such gentle grace, and such quiet strength, and mostly... such incredible kindness. I've never known anyone with as pure a heart, and so today I give you my love, and my honor, and our life, together.

Clark Kent: You okay?
Lois Lane: Considering we just had our second wedding which failed to result in an actual marriage...I guess so


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Individual Responsibility (#2.20)" (1995)
Lois Lane: I haven't had great luck with psychiatrists.
Dr. Friskin: Oh, you've spent some time in therapy.
Lois Lane: Oh, no. It's just that the last psychiatrist that I saw had an exact double of me made and tried to have me killed.
Dr. Friskin: How did that make you feel?

Lois Lane: I have to go out for a while, Jimmy. Hold down the fort.
Jimmy Olsen: Isn't that what they said to Jim Bowie at the Alamo.

Lois Lane: Pick me up at seven?
[Clark nods]
Lois Lane: But you have to promise me you'll be there at 7:01. And 7:02. And 7:03. And 7:04. And 7:05.
[with each breath, Lois draws closer to Clark, until their noses are nearly touching]


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: The Ides of Metropolis (#1.15)" (1994)
Lois Lane: [to Clark] Oh, leave the truth and justice stuff to Superman, will you!

Lois Lane: [after Eugene tells her he did some work on her computer files] I have a password.
Eugene Laderman: Yeah, "Superman." It wasn't hard to figure out.

Perry White: Is there something the two of you want to tell me?
Lois Lane: No, not really, Chief.
Perry White: Huh. Well...good. You sure now? Nothing you want to get off your chest, uh, chests?
Lois Lane: We'd like to tell you, Chief, but we can't. It's better this way.
Clark Kent: Better off not knowing.
Perry White: Well it's a little late for that. I know.
Lois Lane: You know?!
Clark Kent: What exactly do you know?
Perry White: You know...about...him...where he is.
Clark Kent: Oh, you do know.
Lois Lane: How do you know?
Perry White: It's better you don't know. 'Course, I don't know officially. But, let's face it. If a man in my position didn't know, unofficially, then, well, he wouldn't be a man in my position.
Lois Lane: So, now that you know, unofficially, are you going to tell anyone else that you, you know, know?
Perry White: No! I wanted you to know.
Clark Kent: Thank you, sir. I feel much better knowing that you know.
Lois Lane: Me, too.
Perry White: There is something I'd like you know, though.
Lois Lane: What's that?
Perry White: The minute you step outside that door, I no longer know. And I don't want to know anything else worth knowing...in the future.


"Adventures of Superman: Through the Time Barrier (#3.1)" (1955)
Clark Kent: Well, I'm sorry, Professor, but you see we don't have time...
Prof. Twiddle: Time! That's just the point. I've conquered it with this little machine.
Lois Lane: Well, that's very nice, Professor. Now, why don't you run home and bury it in your backyard.

Perry White: That's the understatement of the year.
Lois Lane: Yes, but of what year?
Turk Jackson: 50,000 B.C.! Like the professor said!
Jimmy Olsen: Jeepers, I should have left a note for my mother.

Lois Lane: In about 50,000 years there's gonna be the cutest hat in the window of that little shop across from the office. I don't know how I'm gonna live without it.


"Smallville: Arrival (#5.1)" (2005)
Clark Kent: How'd you get that frog in your throat?
Lois Lane: That's what happens when you get a neck massage form Barbie the Barbarian. Doctor says I shouldn't talk too much.
Clark Kent: Oh, gee. That's too bad.
Lois Lane: Don't get your hopes up, Smallville. It's not permanent.

Clark Kent: How did you get that frog in your throat?
Lois Lane: That's what happens when you get a neck message from Barbie the Barbarian.

Lois Lane: Mrs. Kent. I have to you say look a whole lot better without a china cabinet on your back.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: It's a Small World After All (#3.20)" (1996)
Dr. Klein: [reading a note from Superman] "Lois, it's too dangerous. Stay put until you hear from me".
Lois: Aww, he always says that. And I never listen.

Lois Lane: [about the scientist who created the shrinking formula] Well, who did he work for?
Dr. Klein: Oh gee, his work was funded by, uh...it was a large cosmetics firm.
Lois Lane: A cosmetics firm?!
Dr. Klein: Well, you know, they're always trying to shrink something.

Perry White: Don't fight it, Clark. When the pit bull gets hold of the bone, it just ain't gonna let it go.
Clark Kent: Tell me about it.
Lois Lane: Perry, there's a connection between some no-shows at my reunion.
Perry White: What makes you think that?
Lois Lane: Well, they weren't there.
Perry White: How are they connected?
Lois Lane: Well, they weren't there.
Perry White: Why weren't they there?
Lois Lane: I don't know. They weren't there.
Perry White: Oh boy! That's a story just crying out to be told!


"Smallville: Collateral (#10.12)" (2011)
Lois Lane: Well, you look energized Dinah. How does it feel to be on the run from the war hawks you rallied behind?

Lois Lane: Chloe would never hurt Oliver.
Dinah Lance: Not in less he got in her way, like these guys.
[they watch a video of Chloe gunning down V.R.A. Guards]
Lois Lane: Well, that can't be right. And I hate to crash on your tea party, but my cousin is no Benedict Arnold.
Dinah Lance: She's taking out operatives in cold blood, Lois! I don't whose side she's on, but it's not ours!
Lois Lane: Not everybody switches sides as easily as some of us. And let's not forget, when we first met Black Canary, she was nothing more than Lex Luthor's little organ-grinder monkey. I mean, did you ever look to see who the bad guys *really* are before you start throwing knives and spin-kicks there, chickadee?
Dinah Lance: Violent criminals deserve to fry. And if your cousin's one of them, well, that's a campfire that I'm not afraid to sing around.

Clark Kent: I've been thinking about what you said - that I should shut my eyes and ears to the outside world to figure what's true. You made me believe. And you got me to fly. Even if it was just in cyberspace.
Lois Lane: Well, I have to say Smallville, that soaring over the Daily Planet and the spires of Metropolis was amazing.
Clark Kent: Well, who knows? Maybe one day, we'll get to fly in the real world.
Lois Lane: I've always believed that you can do the impossible, and one day you will.


"Smallville: Charade (#9.18)" (2010)
Clark Kent: Uh, Miss Lane is an acquired taste. I-It's just that ever since Tess went away, we've gone through a lot of editors.
Franklin W. Stern: Well, not for long. The board just launched a global search for the next editor-in-chief. And I intend to make their decision very easy.
Lois Lane: And you decided to start your campaign by downsizing the desk inventory?

The Blur: [voice] I'm sorry. This is our last conversation.
Lois Lane: [into a phone] Last conversation today or for a while? If you have go back on another hiatus, I understand. I'll be there.
The Blur: [voice] As in, our last talk... forever.
Lois Lane: No.
The Blur: [voice] Our relationship put you at risk. I know that we would do anything to protect each other. What if, one day, I'm too late?
Lois Lane: But you don't understand. I don't care about the risk. When I'm working with you, I'm doing something good, something right.
The Blur: [voice] You don't need me for that.
Lois Lane: But I do need you, and maybe I didn't realize until it was too late, but this is the more important part of my life.
The Blur: [voice] Well, there must be some other part that means more to you.
Lois Lane: When I'm with you, it's about more than what I want, who I want. It is something that is bigger than me.
The Blur: [voice] I wish things could be different, Lois. This is the only way I can protect you. I won't call again. If anyone calls claiming to... to be me, don't believe them. No matter what they say or what happens, you can't trust them.
Lois Lane: No, please.
The Blur: [voice] I will be watching over you. I promise. Goodbye, Lois.

Franklin W. Stern: Let me guess. You two have a lovers' spat?
Lois Lane: Clark and I don't spat. There was no spatting.


"Smallville: Recruit (#4.13)" (2005)
Clark Kent: I thought I told you to wait outside.
Lois Lane: I don't do good with waiting. Especially when I'm awaiting trial.

Lois Lane: Knock, knock. You should think about putting up a door or something. I don't know, maybe it's a city thing, but where I come from, we like to have a little privacy.
Clark Kent: Lois, who would've thought I'd be relieved to hear your voice?

Clark Kent: So what're you gonna do? Are you gonna go stay with Chloe?
Lois Lane: They've got a tiny one-bedroom apartment. I can't do that to them. It's fine, really, I'm just gonna check into a motel and when the money runs out, I can always sleep in my car. The backseat's not too bad if you bend your knees and avoid the drive train and then, you know, if I have to sell my car for food, that's okay too. I've always dreamed of being a hobo, riding the rails, cooking beans over roadside fires...
Clark Kent: If you want, I guess you can stay with us.
Lois Lane: You're a lifesaver! God, am I in need of a hot shower! Don't worry, Smallville. I'll try to keep it under a half hour.
Clark Kent: What just happened?


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Ghosts (#4.9)" (1996)
Lois Lane: And you can get that look off your face.
Clark Kent: What look?
Lois Lane: That look that says, 'Oh my God, Lois cooked something and I have to eat it.'

Clark Kent: Do you know what it feels like having the person you love turn into a snarling monster right before your eyes?
Lois Lane: *She* was snarling. *I* was speaking loudly with emphasis.

Lois Lane: I'd like to help.
Katie Banks: Sure, as if you care. I don't trust you or anyone with a pulse.
Lois Lane: Life was that tough?
Katie Banks: Well, I was beaten to death with a blunt instrument. So, in this sense - yes.


"Smallville: Icarus (#10.11)" (2010)
Clark Kent: You don't make it easy to ask a simple question. But that's what makes you you. The woman I want to spend my life with. The woman that I love. Lois Lane, will you marry me?
Lois Lane: Yes.

Cat Grant: Oh, my God. Lois Lane. Are you expecting?
Lois Lane: Spread that rumor, and you can expect my fist in your face.

Lois Lane: I'll get you help. Okay?
Carter Hall: No. It's too late. Hey. I'm a pro at dying, remember?
Clark Kent: I should have been there, Carter. I'm sorry.
Carter Hall: Can't always be you, Clark. This is all our fight. Listen. Listen! This is what we do. And my passing means I'll be with Shayera again.
Clark Kent: I owe you so much, I don't even know how to begin to thank you.
Carter Hall: You just did. You hold on to her. Because there has to be a balance, Clark. We can't do what we have to do if there's an emptiness in our hearts. Remember that.
Clark Kent: I will. I promise.
Carter Hall: Oh, I am sorry I won't be able to help you fight the darkness. But you have all the help that you need.


"Smallville: Arrow (#6.4)" (2006)
Oliver Queen: This is funny. You know, the way Lois talked about you, I thought you were gonna be a little bit more of a...
Clark Kent: Little more what? Of a geek?
Lois Lane: Well, you're not exactly jumping the velvet ropes at nightclubs, so...
Clark Kent: It's really nice to see that Lois has found someone who can overlook her personality.
Oliver Queen: Oh, don't worry about it, Clark. If I lived under the same roof with such a beautiful woman, I probably would've mask my feelings in sarcasm, too.

The Green Arrow: I saved you.
Lois Lane: Yeah. From goons who were trying to find you. They're not the only one with a V for Vendetta on your little leather ass.
The Green Arrow: Little? I've really been working on the glutes lately, too.
Lois Lane: Did the humor come with the costume?
The Green Arrow: Did the Tomb Raider routine come from wanting daddy's attention?

Oliver Queen: [speaking to Clark about Lionel Luthor] You find it interesting that he never called the police?
Lois Lane: Okay, if you boys are done marking your territory, which for clarification, is not me. I have a front page article that is missing a few key details. Good night boys. Now, play nice.


"Smallville: Committed (#8.5)" (2008)
[Clark and Lois walk into the jewelry store while pretending to be a couple]
Lois Lane: A smile now and then wouldn't kill you.
Clark Kent: They're in short supply, Lois. I wouldn't want to waste one.
Jeweler: May I help you?
Lois Lane: Well, we are finally out ring shopping. Who's the luckiest girl in the world?... I am!
Clark Kent: Some friends of ours said that your store is the best place in town to find engagement rings.
Jeweler: Is there a certain piece that you would like to see?
Lois Lane: Well... How about this one, Pumpkin?
Clark Kent: Anything you want, Muffin.
[to the jeweler]
Clark Kent: Must be great seeing so many happy couples come through here every day.
Jeweler: Certainly is. It's very fulfilling helping to solidify the bond between husband and wife.
[pointing to the ring Clark is holding]
Jeweler: Excellent craftsmanship, a perfect circle, no beginning and no end. Try it on and see how it looks.
Lois Lane: [Lois holds out her hand, but Clark just stares at the ring] Don't get stage fright, Poodle. You're going to have to do this center stage in front of a packed house sooner than you think.
[to the jeweler]
Lois Lane: He has performance anxiety.
Jeweler: Would you look at that! A perfect fit.
Oliver Queen: [entering] What are you two doing here?
[Clark and Lois exchange nervous glances]
Lois Lane: Oliver... didn't you get the invitation yet?
Oliver Queen: Invitation to what?
Lois Lane: [to Clark] Tell him, Cupcake.
Clark Kent: Lois and I are... we're getting married.
Oliver Queen: [laughs, then realizes Clark is serious] You're just full of surprises lately, aren't you, Clark?
Lois Lane: I know, right? I mean we've been friends for so long, um, but we just had this one magical night, and we couldn't deny our feelings any longer.
Oliver Queen: [to Clark] Is this true?
Clark Kent: I'm afraid so.
Lois Lane: [as Clark pushes her out the door] See you at the wedding!

Lois Lane: [snatches a glass of champagne off a nearby tray] Good idea.
[very drunk]
Lois Lane: Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Lois Lane. Most of you know me as Chloe's cousin a.k.a. The Maid of Honor.
[crowd applaudes]
Lois Lane: When Chloe and I were little girls, we made a promise. Neither of us would get married until we found our soul mates. The one person in the whole wide world that we were destined to be with. Which is why you can't take a 10 year old at their word.
[crowd buzzes with trepidation]
Clark Kent: Okay, come on.
[pulls Lois off her perch]
Clark Kent: What I think Lois is trying to say, is that you can't predict when you will find that special someone. And Jimmy is, without a doubt that special someone for Chloe. I've known Chloe since the 8th grade and we've been through a lot together. In all those years, the truth is I have never seen her so happy. Congratulations, to Jimmy and Chloe.

Lois Lane: [wakes up hungover on Clark's couch wearing his football jersey] Smallville?
Clark Kent: [enters the room loading up a glass of water with alka seltzer] Good afternoon, Lois. I thought you might need one of these.
Lois Lane: [looks at the disarray of the room especialy the random articles of clothing laying about before looking at Clark] Please tell me we didn't...
[At first Clark looks Lois in confusion but then it dawns on him what she is talking about]
Clark Kent: [chuckles] You're hysterical when you're hungover, Lois. Don't worry you got changed all by yourself. In the middle of the kitchen for like an hour.
Lois Lane: [attempts to take a sip of her drink but grimaces and puts it down] I take it I took a little drive on the porcelain highway.
Clark Kent: It was more like a cross-country trip.


"Smallville: Instinct (#8.4)" (2008)
Lois Lane: I don't know who or what you are, but you got it all wrong, lady. There is nothing romantic between Lois and Clark.
Maxima: You have a deep connection to him. I felt it.
Lois Lane: Then your radar's on the fritz. 'Cause even on a good day, we're barely friends.
Maxima: He would never have been able to pull away from me if he wasn't drawn by his attraction to you.
Lois Lane: Look, he's about as attracted to me as a Red Sox fan to the Yankees.
Maxima: Oh, he might not know it yet. But believe me, there's a bond. And I could see it on your face when you caught us together. You feel it, too. But I finally found a man that I've wanted all my life, and you can't have him.

Lois Lane: Oh, sorry to rain on your orgy, Smallville. I think I scared off your date.
Clark Kent: Where'd she go?
Lois Lane: Probably to find you two a motel room.
Clark Kent: You don't understand.
Lois Lane: What's not to understand? You were pulling a "9 1/2 Weeks" in the elevator. I mean, it may not get you a membership in the mile-high club, but, hey, you got to start somewhere.
Clark Kent: Just calm down.
Lois Lane: I *am* calm! I am perfectly calm! Why wouldn't I be calm? Dial down the ego, Smallville. I don't care what you do with your love life.

Clark Kent: [about Maxima] I'm afraid this may not be the last we've seen of her.
Lois Lane: Hmm. Well, I'll be ready for her. The late-night game of bumper cars might have knocked the wind out of me, but one supercharged fembot can't put a serious dent in Lois Lane.
Clark Kent: Thanks for showing up when you did. I guess you could say you saved my life.
Lois Lane: Tell me about it. If I haven't severed your love connection, you would have ended like all her other dates.
Clark Kent: You know, she said some... weird things to me.
Lois Lane: Really?
Clark Kent: She said she was my soul mate.
Lois Lane: I think you can do a little bit better than a man-eating meteor freak.
Clark Kent: I know she's not the one, but it got me to thinking. Chloe showed me this love letter she wrote to me years ago, and... her feelings were really intense. And Chloe was right there in front of me, and I never realized how I felt. What *if* my soul mate comes along and I'm too blind to see it?
Lois Lane: I don't know, Smallville. I think that, when the right girl walks into your life, you'll know.
Clark Kent: What did Maxima say to you?
Lois Lane: Nothing for the front page.


"Smallville: Kent (#10.17)" (2011)
Lois Lane: You want to help me out here?
Clark Luthor: You're kinda cute when you squirm.
Lois Lane: Okay, bonus.

Lois Lane: Admittedly I'm no Martha Kent, so instead of lemonade, you get the finest micro-brew in Kansas.

Clark Kent: Lois, I've been trying to hold onto things that used to protect me. This farm, my parents. I've known we should be moving to Metropolis for a while now. I guess I was afraid that I'd lose myself if I let it all go.
Lois Lane: Clark, I would never let that happen.
Clark Kent: I've been worried that if we didn't have this place to come home to, that we'd lose each other. This place grounds us. Maybe that was just an excuse for me not to, not to move on. It's not the place that makes the home.
Lois Lane: Smallville is my home, Clark. Not this one, this Smallville, right here. You're all I'll ever need. And if you need to move to Metropolis because that's who the world needs you to be, then a studio apartment with rusty pipes is just fine for me. In fact, I think they invented an apple-pie air freshener.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Top Copy (#2.14)" (1995)
Lois Lane: I did something that I shouldn't have.
[hands Mayson her beeper back]
Mayson Drake: You stole it.
Lois Lane: Yeah. It's not the first time I've bent the law for a story, but I did feel bad because after I finished rationalizing it I realized that a big part of why I did it is because...I don't like you.
Mayson Drake: [relieved] Really? Oh God, that is such a relief! I don't like you either!

Clark Kent: Lois, you know, I really hope someday that you learn, that sometimes what it seems like people are doing isn't what they're really doing.
Lois Lane: What are you, a fortune cookie?

Mayson Drake: [after Lois saves her life] Keep that up and we may have to start liking each other.
Lois Lane: [smiling] Anything but that.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Big Girls Don't Fly (#3.22)" (1996)
Lois Lane: You're asking me to sacrifice everything for a world I'll never see.
Sarah: I'm asking you to save a world that's robbing us both of the men we love.

Clark Kent: I've loved you from the beginning.
Lois Lane: And I'll love you to the end.

Lt. Ching: I have possibly underestimated you, Lois. If I've seemed unkind, understand that carving out a homeland in a hostile universe leaves us very little time in our lives for kindness, or love.
Lois Lane: Lieutenant, without kindness, what is your homeland worth? And without love, what are your lives worth?


"Smallville: Shield (#10.2)" (2010)
Carter Hall: You know, the philosopher Nietzsche believed we shouldn't live for the future, but for the present. He thought that people who chased after some far-off future dream were really running away from their true destiny.
Lois Lane: Yeah, well, Nietzsche can call me a chicken if he wants, but he has never dated someone like Clark Kent.
Carter Hall: It wouldn't have mattered. To him, the true hero was the person who embraced the life that he or she was given and made it better. He called that person "Übermensch."
Lois Lane: A superman.
Carter Hall: Nietzsche believed we could all be one. In our own way.

Lois Lane: I have to admit, this assignment... a little out of my strike zone. I mean, I was raised by a very grounded 4-star general who believed in what you can see, touch, blow up...
Carter Hall: Things that can be explained.
Lois Lane: It's just... you can live your whole live without any prove of something, like a god or whatever, and then one day you look up and realize the guy sitting across from you is... Ra.
Carter Hall: You think the guy sitting across from you is an ancient sun god?
Lois Lane: No, of course not. But what if he were? One minute you know you know what you know, and the next you realize you don't really know anything but you want to know everything. What is the world like for him? Does he feel pain? How does he heal? When does he sleep? *Does* he even sleep.
Carter Hall: This is going to require something stronger than tea.
Lois Lane: How can he stand driving in a car when they move so much slower than he does? That would drive me crazy.
Carter Hall: Maybe you should just ask Clark. Now, why don't you sit down before you drive *me* crazy.

Carter Hall: I'd like you to have something. It was given to me by my wife. It's a story, about two star-crossed lovers. Prince Khufu and Shayera were murdered by an evil man, but their love was so strong they were bonded for all eternity. Lifetime after lifetime they were reborn, to find their one true love. Only to lose each other in death again.
Lois Lane: That's a terrible story.
Carter Hall: I like it.
Lois Lane: If you're into the whole Egyptian "Groundhog Day" thing.
Carter Hall: After many years, Khufu grew tired of always waiting to find his beloved. So he traveled the world, seeking other women, trying to forget Shayera. Unable to rid her from his heart, he returned home, resigned to his fate. No sooner did he arrive at the palace than he saw her. She was there all along but he didn't recognize her because the time wasn't right. He needed to wait, because it made their love stronger. And their kiss that much sweeter.


"Smallville: Odyssey (#8.1)" (2008)
Clark Kent: I'll see you bright and early Monday morning.
[starts to leave room]
Lois Lane: Whoa, whoa, why Monday, what do you mean bright and early?
Clark Kent: Lois, you're the one who gave me the application. You're looking at the newest recruit to the Daily Planet.
Lois Lane: [Lois looks completely stunned] That's great. What made you change your mind?
Clark Kent: I guess I wanted to be in the middle of the action.
Lois Lane: Good for you. So are you going to be starting down in the mailroom?
Clark Kent: No... I'm going to be a little closer to home.
[smiles and glances at a turned over nameplate on the desk opposite Lois']
Clark Kent: Looks like we're going to be neighbors Lane.
[leaves room grinning]
Lois Lane: [turns over nameplate and sees Clark's name] You've got to be kidding me.
[looks annoyed for a moment and then smiles]

Lois Lane: What are you doing here?
Clark Kent: I heard they had good espresso.
Lois Lane: You disappear for a month and come back with a sense of humor?
Clark Kent: I've been tracking Chloe down. The question is, how did you get here?
Lois Lane: Feminine Charm.
[Clark scoffs]
Lois Lane: Yes, I do have some.
Clark Kent: Great job protecting your short supply of it.
Lois Lane: Why don't you give your stand up a rest, and do exactly what I tell you, that why we can find Chloe, and stay alive at the same time.

Clark Kent: [Lois and Clark walking down a hallway in search of Chloe, Clark doesn't have his powers at this point]
[Lois is carrying a gun]
Clark Kent: You mind not pointing that thing at me?
Lois Lane: God, Clark, I'm not aiming at you.
[Clark looks over, unsure]
Lois Lane: What? I'm not. Besides, it's only your kneecap.
Clark Kent: Well, that makes me feel a lot better.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Chip Off the Old Clark (#3.8)" (1995)
Lois Lane: You are aware that there is a chance Superman didn't do this.
Perry White: Now, Lois, you and I have been newspeople long enough to know, that if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, tastes good with plum sauce, it is a duck.

Lois Lane: Do you know how many toddlers can balance a sofa on their pinky finger?

Lois Lane: You don't have any really *big* surprises do you?
Clark Kent: Did I mention the flying?
Lois Lane: I only marry men who fly.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: The Return of the Prankster (#2.15)" (1995)
Lois: ...the police are looking for the Prankster, and Superman, I'm sure is on the job, so the President would probably be safer here in Metropolis than he would be in the White House.
Agent Carrigan: And what would you know about the White House, ma'am?
Lois: N-nothing. Nothing. I-I was just... sample, you know? Could've said 'safer than a bug in a rug', or... 'two peas in a pod'...
Agent Carrigan: Are you on any type of medication, ma'am?

[Clark walks in on the office being frozen and starts laughing at Jimmy wearing Lois's dress]
Jimmy Olsen: [begins to wake up] What's so funny, CK?
Lois Lane: [wakes up and realizes that she's in her underwear] Griffin! Jimmy give me back my dress.
Clark Kent: Now that's something you don't hear around the newsroom everyday.
Jimmy Olsen: How do you get this thing off?

Clark Kent: I think the better question, Chief, is why was Griffin here in the first place?
Lois Lane: My continuing degradation comes to mind.
Clark Kent: No, I think that's just a bonus.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Smart Kids (#1.7)" (1993)
Lois Lane: [after Clark bites into an apple while walking past her desk] Could you turn the volume on that Clark? I don't think they heard that in Borneo.

Lois Lane: I know that pig.

Clark Kent: I bet you were a cute kid.
Lois Lane: I'm still a cute kid.


"Smallville: Salvation (#9.21)" (2010)
Lois Lane: You're not really him.
Zod: I should've known better than to deceive The Blur's most devoted follower.
Lois Lane: Just who the hell *are* you?
Zod: Unlike The Blur, I'm someone who doesn't care whether you live or die.

[first lines]
Lois Lane: [to Perry White] If you remember, I'm the one who said 2012 would just be another Y2K scare, and I was right. Not to fear, White... If there's a scandal in the Pentagon, yours truly *will* be the one to find it.

Lois Lane: How can you be The Blur? That alien snatcher Chisolm shot you. I saw the wound.
Zod: My powers cured me.
Lois Lane: Clark Kent's mild-mannered FBI friend is the guy who's always saving my butt?
Zod: You were willing to risk your life to save me, Lois. You are *my* hero.
Lois Lane: My hero told me not to trust anyone that said he was The Blur.


"Smallville: Ambush (#10.7)" (2010)
Lucy Lane: I can't believe that I almost got you killed.
Lois Lane: Let's not forget the Talon's "shock and awful" missile makeover. Who would've known fire insurance didn't cover mortar fire?

Clark Kent: So, what are you in the mood for?
Lois Lane: Oh, I'm in the mood. Just not for breakfast.
[Lois heads for the door]
Clark Kent: Lois, the bedroom's upstairs.
Lois Lane: Mm-hmm. But the porch swing - it's out there.

Lois Lane: Well, this has Lucy written all over it in backstabbing bitch-berry lip gloss.


"Smallville: Exposed (#5.6)" (2005)
Lois Lane: Hey, 007. Nice of you to show up.
Clark Kent: I'm starting to assume that means thank you.

Lois Lane: Oh and about the lap dance. If you tell anybody about it, your night-light will make a very public appearance.
Clark Kent: Aye-aye, sailor.

Lois Lane: I need you to help me move out of the Kents' next weekend.
Chloe Sullivan: Oh, you took the apartment at the Talon? How are you ever gonna live without Clark?
Lois Lane: One word - blissfully. How you ever had a crush on Richie Cunningham, I will never understand.


"Smallville: Façade (#4.3)" (2004)
Chloe Sullivan: I'm off to see Clark Kent in a wet t-shirt. Care to join me?
Lois Lane: Like I've never seen that before.

Lois Lane: [to Chloe] Uh, no hard feelings here, cuz, but unlike you, the last thing I want to be is a reporter.

Clark Kent: Come on, Lois! Didn't those guys on the base teach you anything?
Lois Lane: Wouldn't you like to know? Doesn't matter 'cause you are going down.
Clark Kent: That'll be the day.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Vatman (#1.18)" (1994)
Superman Clone: You look really, really hot.
Lois Lane: [snorts the champagne she was just drinking in surprise] Oh! Well, thanks.

Lois Lane: [about the Superman clone] He kissed me.
Clark Kent: He what?

Lois Lane: When I was talking to him, it was like he didn't recognize me. In fact, he smirked at me. Superman doesn't smirk. It's like...
Clark Kent: What?
Lois Lane: I don't know. It's just bizarre.


"Smallville: Infamous (#8.15)" (2009)
Clark Kent: I want you to write my story.
Lois Lane: No offense, but I've long since graduated from the "Lonely Seeking Lonelier" classifieds.
Clark Kent: It's a pretty interesting one.
Lois Lane: Clark, I'm busy here. You may have forgotten about me, but the news world didn't.
Clark Kent: After this story you're about to write, it never will.
Lois Lane: What story?
Clark Kent: I didn't forget to pick you up at the airport, Lois. The reason I wasn't there is because I was protecting people. I'm the Red-Blue Blur.
Lois Lane: [laughs] That's the best you can do?
[Lois continues to laugh as they walk into supply room]
Clark Kent: That thing that saved you from the speeding car, that was me. That time when the barn door flew off its hinges, you thought it was a weather anomaly. I did that.
Lois Lane: Yeah, right, what'd you do - sneeze?
Clark Kent: Actually...
[Lois stands on top of a desk to reach for printer paper on top of a shelf]
Lois Lane: Clark, next time you liquid-lunch, take the rest of the day off.
Clark Kent: Let me help you with that.
[Clark picks up the desk with one hand for Lois to reach for the paper. Lois looks at Clark shocked and falls. Clark catches her as he lays the desk down]
Lois Lane: Guess I should stop calling you "Smallville."

Lois Lane: [after Clark saves Lois from the DDS at the Planet] Nice interception, but you shouldn't be here. All the bloodhounds in the state will be sniffing you out!
Clark Kent: It's okay, I know this sounds crazy but in a few moments this will ALL be over.
Lois Lane: Okay, well try me, my shock threshold is pretty high right now.
Clark Kent: Lois, I have a ring that allows me to go to any moment in time.
[Lois looks a little stunned]
Clark Kent: I'm going to go back to before Linda Lake ever wrote that article. The world isn't ready to accept someone like me.
Lois Lane: Then stay and fight back! Look! Give people a chance to see who you really are!
Clark Kent: It's too late Lois. My whole life I've seemed different.
Lois Lane: Some people spend their ENTIRE lives looking for a way to stand out, to be a person that ANYBODY would call special. When you first told me who you were, my thought was anyone but Clark. And not because of the alien thing, I have known enough guys to know that you can be born on terra firma and be lightyears from normal...
Clark Kent: Lois you don't have to explain, I get it.
Lois Lane: No... you don't. How can someone with x-ray vision be so blind?
[pauses]
Lois Lane: I've been down the Hero road before, and every time I've made a giant U-turn, but this, this was different.
Clark Kent: And this time it will be different Lois. When I do this no one's going to remember who I am.
Lois Lane: And when you hit your reset button, you're not going to tell me your secret, are you?
Clark Kent: [slightly shakes his head] I'm sorry.
Lois Lane: It's okay...
[trying not to cry]
Lois Lane: Why should I think I'm special? Clark. I understand.
Clark Kent: Lois you don't understand.
[steps closer to Lois]
Clark Kent: It's because you ARE special...

Lois Lane: [to Clark] You're a reporter, Smallville. You're not saving the world.


"Superman: Mxyzpixilated (#2.8)" (1997)
[Mr Mxyzptlk appears in the Daily Planet just as Clark Kent prints out an article]
Mr. Mxyzptlk: Ha, ha! You think you're pretty smart, don't you?
Clark Kent: Look, little man, I'm tired of this! If it's a fight you want...
Mr. Mxyzptlk: Oh, it is! It is!
Clark Kent: Fine! First let me proofread this article, and I'll meet you on the roof in twenty minutes...
Mr. Mxyzptlk: No stalling! I'll edit the rag for you!
[grabs Clark's article and magically picks out its spelling mistakes]
Mr. Mxyzptlk: There! Hey! What...? NO!
[vanishes]
Lois Lane: [passing by, glancing up the article] You're getting sloppy, Smallville. This sentence is cluttered with typos.
[gives the article back to Clark and leaves]
Clark Kent: K, L, T, P, Z...

Lois Lane: Is that a penguin?
Clark Kent: I'm afraid so.
[Lois turns into a horse]
Clark Kent: Here we go...

Lois Lane: Don't you look happy. What's wrong? Bad news?
Clark Kent: [depressed] You could say that. I'm expecting a visitor from out of town.
Lois Lane: The guy's kind of a pest, is he?
Clark Kent: The worst!
Lois Lane: I hear ya. Every time my sister visits, she moves right on in and stays and stays and...
[a penguin suddenly waddles by]
Lois Lane: Was that a penguin?
Clark Kent: [bored] I'm afraid so.
[Lois turns into a horse and neighs]
Clark Kent: Here we go.


"Smallville: Fortune (#10.15)" (2011)
Oliver Queen: How the hell did we end up here, anyway?
Lois Lane: Oh, I have no idea. But in that green getup of yours, we're gonna stand up like a hooker in a church.
Oliver Queen: [looks down and notice he's wearing a lime-green tuxedo jacket] What?
Lois Lane: Yeah.
Oliver Queen: What is this?

Oliver Queen: I'm going to do whatever it takes to get you that ring back. Relax, all right? You're starting to do that twitchy thing that you do.
Lois Lane: There's something stuck in my bra.
Oliver Queen: That's not my territory anymore, all right?
Lois Lane: [pulls gambling chip out of her bra] Cha ching. Well, that's a first.
[reads writing on chip]
Lois Lane: "Fortune Casino?"
Oliver Queen: Let me see that. Oh look at that. Your pointer sisters just gave us our first clue as to where we were last night.
Lois Lane: Yeah, right.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Stop the Presses (#4.10)" (1996)
Lois Lane: [after Clark complains that she is too controlling as the new editor] You know what I think? I think you have a real problem with the fact that I'm the one in the family wearing the tights. Pants, I mean pants!

Clark Kent: My wife, the boss.
Lois Lane: I still can't believe it.
Perry White: Now, listen, you sure you two ok with this? I mean, I, uh, I didn't want to ruffle any feathers.
Lois Lane: Don't worry, we've already talked about it. Everything's fine. Really.
Perry White: You're sure?
Clark Kent: Positive, chief. In fact, I'm kind of looking forward to sleeping with the boss.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Never on Sunday (#3.12)" (1996)
Superman: What I saw wasn't a coffin, it was the capsule that my parents sent me to Earth in.
Lois Lane: So they couldn't kill you. Your vision wasn't based on death, it was based on life.

Superman: As I was remembering, I could feel the love and sadness of my parents sending their baby off into the cold universe.
Lois Lane: And into my life.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Season's Greedings (#2.9)" (1994)
Mr. Schott: Mrs. Duffy? Mrs. Duffy? I have a surprise.
Lois Lane: So do we. You're busted. Merry Christmas.

Lois Lane: Where's Clark?
Superman: Uh...he took a pretty bad beating from those old ladies.


"Smallville: Rabid (#9.3)" (2009)
Lois Lane: Oliver? What are you doing here?
Oliver Queen: I was looking for Tess when the whole building went "Resident Evil."

Lois Lane: But I do remember seeing a whole new side of Clark Kent.
Clark Kent: Which side was that?
Lois Lane: I'll give you a hint. It starts with "H" and ends with "ero."
Clark Kent: I wasn't even wearing red and blue.
Lois Lane: Well, you've got a long ways before you can do that.


"Smallville: Lazarus (#10.1)" (2010)
Lois Lane: [finds Clark's new suit] So much better in technicolor.

Lois Lane: You know Clark?
Lex Luthor Clone: I saved him that day. Right here on this very spot. And all he did was betray me!
Lois Lane: Lex? What happened to you?
Lex Luthor Clone: I've evolved. And with age comes wisdom. Hmm? You see, Lois, you are his greatest weakness. Or should I say The Blur's greatest weakness. Your death will break him.


"Smallville: Blank (#4.19)" (2005)
Chloe Sullivan: I'm gonna go to the Torch and see what I can find out about amnesia.
Lois Lane: Yeah, just leave Mr. Memory Reboot to me. I'm getting to be a pro at this.
[to Clark]
Lois Lane: But you know what? You're gonna have to put up with PB and J because that's the extent of my culinary skills.
Chloe Sullivan: [to Clark] Okay?
Clark Kent: Please tell me I'm not related to her.
Chloe Sullivan: No, I am. You live with her.

Lois Lane: Clark, you know that.
Chloe Sullivan: Well, not so much. He has amnesia, and he's having a hard time...
Lois Lane: Again?
Clark Kent: What do you mean again?
Lois Lane: Well, at least this time you got clothes on.


"Smallville: Disciple (#9.10)" (2010)
Clark Kent: You know, Lois, we could go back to the farm and take a walk. I could give you Clark Kent's tour of the galaxy.
Lois Lane: Smallville, the only planet you know about is the one you read at the breakfast table.

Lois Lane: Sometimes I worry there is no poetry in you.
Clark Kent: You just have to look a little deeper.
Lois Lane: Oh. What I wouldn't give for a little x-ray vision.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Battleground Earth (#4.2)" (1996)
Lois Lane: Did any part of meeting up with your roots feel good? I mean, was it satisfying in any way or was it a disappointment to you?
Clark Kent: Maybe all of those. I kept waiting for this incredible feeling of connection. You know, like I was exactly where I belong and that's only happened to me once in my life.
Lois Lane: When?
Clark Kent: The day I met you.
Lois Lane: For a spaceman, you're the most romantic person I know.

Clark Kent: It's not me who kept you from the throne. It's the law of your own people.
Lord Nor: On the contrary, the law of my people will place me on the throne! You are under arrest.
Clark Kent: Under arrest? For what?
Martha Kent: He hasn't done anything.
Jonathan Kent: You're the one who's breaking the law.
Lois Lane: You hired an assassin to kill him. Is that legal?
Lord Nor: Excuse me, do any of you hold Kryptonian law degrees?
Lois Lane: No.
Lord Nor: Then shut up!


"Smallville: Plastique (#8.2)" (2008)
Lois Lane: Basically, that firecracker was a major menace to Metropolis.
Clark Kent: But there's no mention of explosives in any of his crimes, Lois. If you were a criminal, with these abilities, wouldn't you use them?
Lois Lane: Well if Tommy didn't kill himself, then who did?
Clark Kent: Bette claimed that Tommy blew up the bus, but she was there for both of the blasts.
Lois Lane: Oh, my God. My cousin's babysitting Psycho Spice.

Lois Lane: Well, big points for punctuality, Smallville. But what's with the wardrobe malfunction?
Clark Kent: What? This is a nice shirt.
Lois Lane: [scoffs] Human resources is gonna be down here any minute, and you do not want to meet them looking like the Brawny lumberjack.


"Smallville: Supergirl (#10.3)" (2010)
Lois Lane: [watches Kara/Supergirl fly up and catch a falling billboard] Isn't that your cousin, Clark?

Lois Lane: Somebody should put Godfrey in some serious restraints. Who knew Mr. Family Values had such a dark side?
Kara: Godfrey's not so special. There's two sides to everyone... even heroes.


"Smallville: Beacon (#10.13)" (2011)
Chloe Sullivan: Lois! Why am I at my alma mater? How am I supposed to protect my heroes off the grid if I'm totally off everyone's radar? And what's with all the Woodward and Bernstein?
Lois Lane: Actually, more like Perry and White? These are Perry's files.
Chloe Sullivan: Oh. That's the smell of Old Spice and ambition.

Clark Kent: I can't believe they'd risked everything coming out to defend me.
Chloe Sullivan: You have no idea how much you mean to people, Clark Kent.
Clark Kent: But I don't think a couple hundred testimonials will be enough to change the vote.
Chloe Sullivan: Try a couple hundred thousand... all of them willing to step out for you. They just needed a place to be heard.
Lois Lane: You're an American hero, Clark.


"Smallville: Warrior (#9.12)" (2010)
Lois Lane: [speaking to Clark] Did you and Chloe both just swear off whimsy? Was there a memo? Look, a costume isn't just about hiding who you are, it's about seeing the world in a way that you haven't before. What's your dream? Getting swept away in a little fantasy might do you some good every once in a while.
Zatanna Zatara: [referring to Lois' previous comment] Lady's got a point. Without a dash of fantasy, life's just life. Where's the magic in that?
[Lois nods in agreement with Zatanna]
Clark Kent: [surprised] Zatanna, when did you...?
Zatanna Zatara: We need to talk, Blue. Alone.
[turns and speaks to Lois]
Zatanna Zatara: I hope it's okay that I borrow him for a bit.
[Lois is confused but nods okay]
Clark Kent: Lois, Zatanna. Zatanna, Lois.

Lois Lane: Stop gawking and prosper.
Clark Kent: That's what was in your bag?
Lois Lane: Well, this Amazon princess won't get nerd-walled again. But I still don't understand how this qualifies as Amazon, but whatever.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Chi of Steel (#2.11)" (1995)
Lois Lane: A mild mannered reporter really a superhero? Clark, come on.

Lois Lane: Excuse me, Lois Lane here. Remember me? Award-winning investigative reporter, emphasis on investigative, specializing in covert break-ins.
Perry White: Lois, you may not go on this mission.
Lois Lane: Well, what am I supposed to do, sit here knitting, waiting for the hunter-gatherers to return?
Perry White: Clark, explain it to her, will you?
Clark Kent: Chief, have you heard the expression "pulling a Schultz?"
Perry White: Ah, Hogan's Heroes. I know nothing.
Clark Kent: I see nothing.
Perry White: I hear nothing.


"Smallville: Absolute Justice (#9.11)" (2010)
Lois Lane: Careful, Lois. This is the part where the doomed girl runs into the guy with the hockey mask.

Lois Lane: Nice helmet.
Dr. Fate: Thank you.


"Superman: A Fish Story (#3.9)" (1999)
Lois Lane: [watching as the grunting Aquaman struggles to break his chains] Aquaman, huh?
Aquaman: Something wrong?
Lois Lane: No, it's just that I always thought you were an urban legend.
Aquaman: Nothing urban about me.
Lois Lane: So, as long as we're here, do you mind telling me what's going on?
Aquaman: Some of your people...
Lois Lane: *My* people?
Aquaman: Surface-dwellers. They're about to cause the deaths of millions.
[grimly determined]
Aquaman: I have to stop them.
[Lois's eyes widen]

Lois Lane: [to Lex] Sounds like your assets are getting kicked.


"Smallville: Gemini (#7.9)" (2007)
Lois Lane: Mr. Luthor, perhaps we could start by discussing Project Gemini.
Lex Luthor: Excuse me?
Lois Lane: My sources tell me you run some kind of an ant farm except instead of ants, it's humans and instead of a farm, it's a lab.
Grant Gabriel: Lois.
Lex Luthor: Now that you're renowned for your eloquence, Lois, but, uh, I have no idea what you're talking about.
Lois Lane: Human cloning. The replication of a DNA sequence produced from a single identical ancestor.
Lex Luthor: My mistake. I didn't realize you'd be pitching me a Hollywood movie. Is this how you run your paper, Mr. Gabriel?

Lex Luthor: Look, not that it matters, but you're no longer running my exposé.
Lois Lane: Nuh uh. You'll have to take that up with my boss.
Lex Luthor: I am your boss. Merry Christmas, Lois. I just bought the Daily Planet.


The Mummy Strikes (1943)
[last lines]
Clark Kent: Incidentally, who told you I was at the museum?
Lois Lane: My mummy done told me.

Clark Kent: This is one time I scooped you, Lois.
Lois Lane: Yes, lucky for you I was hurt.


"Smallville: Escape (#9.15)" (2010)
Lois Lane: [sees Oliver and Chloe] Hey guys! Come here. Sit with us.
Clark Kent: [speaking to Chloe] Quiet weekend at home, huh?
Chloe Sullivan: Trust me, we had no idea the two of you would be here.
Lois Lane: And we had no idea there was even a "you two," which I think is perfect. I think fate has brought us together.
Oliver Queen: Well it's ah...
[everyone exchanges awkward looks]
Oliver Queen: It's a little less fate, actually.
Chloe Sullivan: More fame.
Oliver Queen: [agreeing with Chloe] Fame.
Chloe Sullivan: This is so far off the beaten path that even the society pages couldn't find Star City's most eligible bachelor here.
Lois Lane: You mean *ex-bachelor*.
Chloe Sullivan: Okay, enough about that. How did you guys manage to find the road less traveled?
Clark Kent: Well, I found their brochure at the apartment. I figured Lois wanted to come here.
Lois Lane: What brochure?
Chloe Sullivan: That wasn't Lois' brochure, Clark. That was mine.
[awkward looks are again exchanged]
Clark Kent: How was I supposed to know that Oliver...?
Chloe Sullivan: You weren't. That's the point.
Oliver Queen: [Clark looks over at Oliver for help] Oh, don't look at me. I learned long ago not to assume what belongs to who in that apartment. You gotta use context clues.
Lois Lane: Yeah, speaking of clues let's talk about Mr. Green, in the bedroom, with my cousin.
Oliver Queen: There it is.
Clark Kent: Lois, I think they came here for brunch.
Lois Lane: Good point.
[smiles some what threateningly at Chloe]
Lois Lane: Look Chloe, there's food.
Chloe Sullivan: [Lois grabs Chloe by the arm and drags her outside] Woah!
Oliver Queen: [Clark and Oliver are at a loss for words] There's little jellies.

Clark Kent: [singing in the shower] I can't tell you, Lois.
[Chloe, possessed by the Silver Banshee enters, wearing only a towel. Clark throws back the shower curtain]
Clark Kent: Chloe?
[quickly wraps himself up in the shower curtain]
Clark Kent: What are you doing in here?
Chloe Sullivan: Well, I thought I would join you.
[drops her towel]
Clark Kent: [instantly averts his eyes] Yeah, I can see that.
[grabs a towel]
Clark Kent: At least, I'm trying not to see that. Um... you know, I'm done here, so the shower is yours.
[grabs another towel and tries to cover Chloe up with out actually looking at her]
Clark Kent: Chloe, how much wine did you have to drink at dinner?
Chloe Sullivan: Why? You wanna share another bottle?
[moves in very close to Clark forcing him to drop his towel]
Chloe Sullivan: Or we could just go for a moonlit walk in the woods.
Clark Kent: I don't think that Oliver would appreciate it.
Lois Lane: [Lois enters the bathroom dressed up like a scottish lass complete with kilt and is holding a bottle of bubble bath] Okay I just...
Clark Kent: [shocked at Lois' attire yet completely entagled with a naked Chloe] Lois?
Lois Lane: Oh, my God.
Clark Kent: I can explain this, sort of.
[tries to get free from Chloe but she won't let him go]
Clark Kent: Chloe?
Lois Lane: Shh. You do that. Try to explain it over breakfast maybe next century.
[looks her bubble bath]
Lois Lane: This, I won't be needing.
[hands it to Chloe and as their hands touch the Silver Banshee transfers to Lois and leaves the room]
Clark Kent: Lois?
Clark Kent: [Chloe faints and Clark catches her] Chloe. Chloe? Chloe?
Chloe Sullivan: [Chloe wakes up and realizes they are both naked] Clark? What are you doing?
Clark Kent: What are *you* doing?
Chloe Sullivan: Where are my clothes?
Clark Kent: I don't know.
Chloe Sullivan: What's going on?
[shoves the bubble bath into Clark's hands and runs out of the room]


"Smallville: Isis (#10.5)" (2010)
Cat Grant: Won't this be the greatest, working together again? Our names looked great terrific side-by-side on that byline. I mean, it's like we were meant to be partners, Clark. You're the Popeye to my Olive. The Mickey to my Minnie.
Lois Lane: The sick to my stomach.

Clark Kent: All my life I've been afraid, Lois. Afraid of people knowing the truth about me. Afraid of them rejecting me, and even if they didn't, still losing them. I've been afraid of everything I can't control. But when I was faced with the idea of losing you forever, it made me realize there's something I'd regret more than anything else, and that's not telling you the truth about me. 'Cause that's the only way we could share a life together. I know the odds are stacked against us and we'd be risking everything, but if you're ready to take that leap, there's no one else that I'd want to take that leap with. Lois, you've had a lot of questions about The Blur, it's me. I'm The Blur.
Lois Lane: [jumps on Clark, kissing him] What took you so long?
Clark Kent: [confused, realizes she knows] What? You...


"Smallville: Siren (#7.11)" (2008)
Oliver Queen: Lois?
Lois Lane: Oh, don't even think of looking at me now. So, in all those nights together, somewhere between brushing teeth and spooning in the sheets, you didn't think that it might be a good time to mention that you prowl the streets with green leather and a compound bow?
Oliver Queen: Well, I don't usually bring the compound bow.
Lois Lane: Oh, so now he's a funny hero. I can't believe you didn't tell me that you were Green Arrow!
Oliver Queen: Hard to imagine why when you're taking it so well.
Lois Lane: You'd think the lacerating ropes and platium fembot might have something to do with my lack of empathy? So what? Little Ollie got bored with dodge ball and P.E. and decided to play William Tell? Woah. Wait a second. I kissed Green Arrow last year when you were standing there with me in the alley.
Oliver Queen: Yeah, I remember that with precise detail.
Lois Lane: I can't believe you. You, supposedly my boyfriend, arranged for me to be lip-locked with some wannabe hero.

Lois Lane: My dad was a general, and he cared about me. But I learned really early that his role in the world was a lot more important than being a father. And, you know what, for good reasons. And Ollie's life is... demanding, too.
Clark Kent: Lois, just because someone's life has great responsibility doesn't mean your life has to take second place.
Lois Lane: Of course it does, Clark. Can you imagine what it would be like to look into somebody's eyes and know that their destiny is so much greater than yours that you will never compete?
[starting to cry]
Lois Lane: You will always be left behind.
Clark Kent: That would be hard for anyone, but...
Lois Lane: No, I can't be left behind one more time. You know, where Ollie's life is going, there's not room for me in it, and I know he'd never admit that, so... I had to. I just, um... I can't face another heartbreak on the road.
[he gives her a supportive hug]
Lois Lane: Besides, you know, why settle for hot, rich, and famous when I can hang out with you?


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: I've Got a Crush on You (#1.6)" (1993)
Lois Lane: He's a man I'm a woman. Do you want me to draw you a diagram?

Lois Lane: You rotten back-stabbing piece of slime! You know some people might be fooled by that innocent boyish exterior but not me, not anymore.
Clark Kent: Tea, Lois? It's a calming, herbal blend.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Home Is Where the Hurt Is (#3.11)" (1995)
Lois Lane: [to Clark] Oh, I love your parents. They're just so...not insane.

Mindy Church: I'm a bird in a gilded case.
Lois Lane: Cage. Gilded cage.
Mindy Church: Huh?


Superman: The Last Son of Krypton (1996) (TV)
[Barging into Perry White's office]
Lois Lane: Chief! I spent a week on the docks with rats and frizzed hair exposing the biggest gun-smuggling ring to hit this town in ten years and what makes the front page? Some sprouty, new age, granola-crunching fluff piece on angels! What's next? Interviews with Bigfoot?

Lois Lane: Nice work, Smallville. You're only the second person I've ever seen get under Lex's skin.
Clark Kent: Who's the first?
Lois Lane: Me. When I dumped him.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Target: Jimmy Olsen (#2.19)" (1995)
Sarah Goodwin: Okay, look, you ever had rocky road ice cream?
Lois Lane: I think that's a bad example if you're gonna be talking about relationships.
Sarah Goodwin: Just a metaphor, Lois, just go with me. If I told you that you could only have one ice cream flavor for the rest of your life, what would it be, rocky road or chocolate?
Lois Lane: Well, I don't know, I guess I'd have to try rocky road before I decided.
Sarah Goodwin: That's the point. Clark's chocolate. I mean, it's good, it's good and all, but, you know, you've had it.
Lois Lane: Yes, but you can put hot fudge on it, and whipped cream, and nuts.
Sarah Goodwin: Bananas.
Lois Lane: Oh, bananas!
Sarah Goodwin: Ooh, don't take me there. Okay, now this Scardino guy, he's rocky road. He's different, interesting, chunky.
Lois Lane: You know, Sarah, if you go around trying every flavor that comes out, you're gonna get awfully fat.
Sarah Goodwin: Well, that's when you go for the little, pink, plastic taster spoons. A little bit of this, a little bit of that. I'm telling you, Lois, chocolate will always be there.
Lois Lane: Not necessarily. I think I'd really miss chocolate if I couldn't have it.

Lois Lane: If Roxi Terrace is her patient, I'm Dumbo the elephant!


"Smallville: Savior (#9.1)" (2009)
Lois Lane: Where the hell have I been for three weeks?
John Corben: I was kind of hoping you'd tell me. You were M.I.A. until your came up on the list of crash victims. Now, do you remember anything last night that would explain how a 7-ton Skytrain belly flops onto Main Street without a single fatality?
Lois Lane: Guess we have to mark it up as a modern day miracle.
John Corben: We could, or we could chalk it up to a vigilante on an ego trip.
Lois Lane: Oh, is that what we call courage these days?
John Corben: The infamous Blur. You know, the ends doesn't always justify the means.
Lois Lane: You might want to stick with your night job, detective. Graffiti's not exactly the Red-Blue Blur's style.
John Corben: You're right. It never used to be, back when the guy was happy pulling off a few modest saves, but then suddenly there was no red or blue. It was just the Blur. Now he feels he needs to leave his mark all over the city to, I don't know, to prove something.

Lois Lane: I blacked out three weeks ago, turned up in a monorail car that's jumped off the tracks, and now some assassin woman is after me.
Oliver Queen: Can you repeat that?


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: The Man of Steel Bars (#1.9)" (1993)
Clark Kent: I just wanted to say goodbye.
Lois Lane: Goodbye? We're partners.
Clark Kent: You don't need a partner, Lois. You never did.
Lois Lane: Well, maybe not, but I was starting to like having one.

Lois Lane: Mr. Mayor, what about the brownouts? There doesn't seem to be enough electricity to power the air conditioners let alone the traffic lights.
Mayor Frank Berkowitz: I got ya, babe, but there's no need to worry about the power supply.


"Smallville: Combat (#6.17)" (2007)
Lois Lane: Come on... help a girl out? I'll leave your name at the front door. You can watch my act. I do a killer Stars-and-Stripes routine.
Athena: I've always been a sucker for a girl in boots.
Lois Lane: Lucky me.

Clark Kent: I'm not going to punch you, Lois.
Lois Lane: Fine. Then you take the dive.
[punches Clark in his stomach and recoils her hand in pain]
Lois Lane: That is not just a six-pack under your shirt. That's a steel kegger.


"Smallville: Toxic (#8.3)" (2008)
Lois Lane: [talking to Oliver, who has been poisoned and is unconscious] ... Look at us, the noble couple. I let you go and in turn you were supposed to save the world. This Ollie, this isn't saving the world. Is it? This is you backing out on your end of the deal. You know maybe... maybe we had it wrong... Maybe our... story ends and neither of us our heroes... because you're not the only one who couldn't hold up his end of the deal. The truth is...
[starts to cry]
Lois Lane: sometimes I wonder if I should have ever let you go...

Davis Bloome: You must be Lois.
Lois Lane: You must be the one who's actually qualified to do this.
Davis Bloome: He's dying. I'm sorry.
Lois Lane: Here is what's gonna happen, Dimples. You are going to reach into that handy little tackle box of yours and pull us out a miracle. Oliver Queen does not die today.
Davis Bloome: The best I can do is keep him alive a few minutes longer.
Lois Lane: Then do it.


"Smallville: Solitude (#5.8)" (2005)
Lois Lane: Don't take this the wrong way, but after eight-hundred pictures, you don't get any prettier.
Lex Luthor: [to photo staff] That's enough. Thanks, guys.
Lex Luthor: [to Lois] How 'bout a latte?
Lois Lane: Don't you find this just a tad sleazy, holding a campaign photo shoot where Martha Kent works? You might as well, I don't know, go out to there farm and milk the cows.
Lex Luthor: [chuckles] In case you don't know where your paycheck comes from, I own the Talon.
Lois Lane: What don't you own? I guess now you wanna own the government.
Lex Luthor: Wow. Why are you so angry, Lois? What have I ever done to you?
Lois Lane: You just remind me of a lot of the pseudo-politicians I grew up around. You know, men who bought their way into office. But do you really think you can beat Jonathan Kent? There must be enough dirt on you to create a landmass the size of Texas.
Lex Luthor: Please, grab a shovel and start digging. I have nothing to hide.
Lois Lane: Let me give you a little friendly advice. Bow out of the race before a pesky little squirrel digs up one of your rotten acorns.
Lex Luthor: Well, thanks, Lois. You know, there's nothing more valuable than the savvy political advice of a muffin-peddling college dropout. Speaking of, do you have banana-blueberry today?

Chloe Sullivan: You got to experience the chills and thrills of journalism.
Lois Lane: Thanks, but no thanks. I don't know how you do it, chasing story after story that only leads to dead ends. I'd never be able to let go.
Chloe Sullivan: That's usually how it starts.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: I've Got You Under My Skin (#4.20)" (1997)
[Woody Samms, in Superman's body, talking about Clark]
Woody Samms: He's been here. You've talked to him. Tell me what you know.
[laser beams a picture frame]
Woody Samms: Come on. Make this easy on yourself, and him.
[laser beams coat rack]
Woody Samms: I'm not fooling around here lady! Now tell me where he is!
[laser beams plant]
Lois Lane: It doesn't matter what you do to me. He'll find you. And he'll stop you.
Woody Samms: [chuckles] He's gonna stop Superman?
Lois Lane: He is Superman.
Woody Samms: Not anymore Lady. I'm Superman now!
Lois Lane: You'll never be Superman. It's not the suit. It's not even the powers. It's something you'll never have. Character. To be Superman you have to care about something. Something other than yourself

Lois Lane: Tonight, Kryptonite's got nothing on me.


"Smallville: Dominion (#10.19)" (2011)
Tess Mercer: Lois... I don't want to give up on Clark either. I don't, but we have a responsibility. To not put the world at risk for selfish reasons, which is what you're doing by wanting to see him again.
Lois Lane: I will *not* let you sacrifice him.
Tess Mercer: Being with a hero means accepting that hero's sacrifices.
Lois Lane: That's where you're wrong. Being a hero's wife means never accepting defeat.

Clark Kent: What ever happened to take the time to merge our lives together? Finding the right place for everything?
Lois Lane: Oh, well, you know me. Waiting isn't exactly my strong suit. So I guess nervous energy equals power unpacking.
Clark Kent: What'd you do? Enlist John Jones and Bart?


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: The Source (#2.3)" (1994)
Lois Lane: [on the phone] Lois Lane. The trap is set? Hundreds will die? Poison gas. Does anyone else know about this?
Clark Kent: Lois...?
Lois Lane: Clark, relax it's just my exterminator.

Lois Lane: [after waking Clark up] I know, you hate me now, but you're gonna love me in a minute.
Clark Kent: I doubt that.


"Superman: My Girl (#1.11)" (1996)
Clark Kent: Lana, you know I really care about you. You're like...
Lana Lang: Clark Kent, I swear, if you say "I'm like a sister to you" I'm going back to Lex!
Clark Kent: Sorry, but I know you'll find that special person someday.
Lana Lang: [Kisses Clark] So will you. You deserve it. Someone quiet, understanding, patient...
Lois Lane: [shouting] Hey, Smallville! Get your tail in here! Perry's got an assignment for us!

Clark Kent: L.L.? Lana Lang? What's a woman like Lana doing with Luthor?
Lois Lane: Don't tell me you know her.
Clark Kent: We... used to date.
Lois Lane: Get out!
Clark Kent: In high school.
Lois Lane: She's certainly come up in the world.
[off his look]
Lois Lane: From Smallville, I mean.


"Smallville: Fracture (#7.12)" (2008)
Kara: [speaking to Lois] Can you get me out of here?
Lois Lane: Does MacGyver blush every time he walks past me? I'll get something to jimmy the lock.

Finley: [Speaking to Lex] Hey. Come on, man, look. Is it really worth killing her to get to me?
Lois Lane: Rhetorical question, Lex.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Super Mann (#3.9)" (1995)
Clark Kent: I was actually just thinking about invitations.
Lois Lane: Catering.
Clark Kent: The band.
Lois Lane: Ugh! We're so far behind.
Clark Kent: We haven't even set a date yet!
Lois Lane: I know! We're behind on that too.

Lois Lane: It's all in Russian.
Clark Kent: Here, let me see.
Lois Lane: Is there any language you don't know?
Clark Kent: Well, sometimes I have trouble understanding you.


"Superman: The Last Son of Krypton: Part II (#1.2)" (1996)
Lois Lane: [Barging into Perry White's office] Chief! I spent a week on the docks with rats and frizzed hair exposing the biggest gun-smuggling ring to hit this town in ten years and what makes the front page? Some sprouty, new age, granola-crunching fluff piece on angels! What's next? Interviews with Bigfoot?
Perry White: Good timing, Lois. I wanted you to be the first to know, I'm hiring a new guy on the city desk.
Lois Lane: Is he cute?
Perry White: Uh... you tell me.
[Lois spins around and sees Clark standing there]
Lois Lane: Oh... hi.

[Lois finds Clark ahead of her at the Lexcorp press conference]
Lois Lane: How'd you get here before me?
Clark Kent: Well, I just flew.
Lois Lane: What'd you get?
Clark Kent: [puts away his notebook] A shared byline, if you use it.
Lois Lane: I take it back. You're not the rube hayseed I took you for.
Clark Kent: Thanks... I think.


"Smallville: Identity (#8.7)" (2008)
Lois Lane: I'm gonna use my expert tracking skills and find this camera shy superhero.
Clark Kent: Really? Good luck with that.
Lois Lane: Mark my words, Clark Kent. I won't stop until I land the first worldwide exclusive interview. Watch me.

Clark Kent: I heard about your date last night. Ended with a thud. I'm sorry I didn't get your phone call till it was all over.
Lois Lane: I wasn't on a date, Smallville. I was deep undercover on a dinner with a psychopath.
Clark Kent: Sounds like your type.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Don't Tug on Superman's Cape (#3.6)" (1995)
Clark Kent: Something is happening.
Lois Lane: Hey! Maybe it's Bad Brain! Can I go?
Clark Kent: No!
Lois Lane: Oh, come on Clark, why do we go through this? We both know I'm gonna go.
Clark Kent: Then why ask?
Lois Lane: Trying to be nice.

Lois Lane: You gave up everything in your life, for me
Superman: Without you it wouldn't have been a life.


Superman III (1983)
Perry White: I don't understand you Olsen. A boring banquet and you bring me three thousand boring pictures. Yet Superman saves a man from drowning on 3rd Avenue this morning while you stand there watching the whole thing and you don't even bring me one picture.
Jimmy Olsen: Chief, I didn't have my camera with me.
Perry White: [while Jimmy mouths the words he knows by heart] A photographer *eats* with his camera. A photographer *sleeps* with his camera.
Lois Lane: I'm glad I'm a writer.

Perry White: I don't have to tell you, it isn't easy for me to lose one of my best reporters.
Clark Kent: Oh, that's okay.
Perry White: But you deserve the vacation, Lois.
Lois Lane: Thank you.


"Smallville: Action (#7.5)" (2007)
Grant Gabriel: This is crap.
Lois Lane: Are you readin it upside down? Lionel Luthor lives! And he was found on Luthorcorp land that no one in the company clames to have purchased. Now, did Lex used my tip to find his father, or is he been keeping him there all this time?
Grant Gabriel: You went behind my back. The rules were to stay away from the Luthors!
Lois Lane: 'Careful Grant, you start to sound like you care about me.
Grant Gabriel: More like annoyed. But I'll have to babysit you Friday night.

Lois Lane: You're asking me on a date?
Grant Gabriel: God no! I'm your boss. You know what, that's it, you're fired from beeing my plus one.
Lois Lane: You can't fire me, I never accepted.


"Superman: Prototype (#2.21)" (1997)
[LexCorp unveils the prototype battle suit]
Lois Lane: Lex, are you trying to put the Man of Steel out of business?
Lex Luthor: Given your knack for getting into trouble, Miss Lane, I thought you'd appreciate a few extra rescuers.
[laughter]
Clark Kent: Touche.
Lois Lane: Whose side are you on?


"Smallville: Lockdown (#5.11)" (2006)
Lois Lane: [to Clark] Turn that frown upside down, Skippy, all right? Unhappy family members reflect badly at the polls.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Sex, Lies and Videotape (#4.13)" (1997)
Lois Lane: What's all this?
Clark Kent: Condolence gifts for me.
Lois Lane: Homemade fudge?
Clark Kent: A couple of women downstairs whipped it up.
Lois Lane: Oh, I see. I eat crow. You eat fudge.
Clark Kent: Honey, half of me gets fudge. The other half gets darts thrown at him.


"Smallville: Wither (#6.3)" (2006)
Martha Kent: Thought I heard the door.
Lois Lane: Yeah, your pledge finally sailed in from Queen Industries.
Martha Kent: Where's the man who came with it?
Lois Lane: The courier? Oh, I gave him his tip and sent him on his merry little way.
Martha Kent: [she hurries to the door and sees Oliver is gone, then turns back] Handsome, chiseled features with a smile that could light up a barn?
Lois Lane: Mrs. Kent, you have a crush on the courier?
Martha Kent: [as she talks, Lois' face falls] You mean the billionaire CEO who stopped by to talk about his financial support of my platform? No, Lois, I don't. I've never even met him. And now I probably never will.
[Martha leaves, and Lois realizes her mistake]
Lois Lane: That was Oliver Queen.


The Arctic Giant (1942)
[last lines]
Clark Kent: You showed plenty of courage getting that monster story, Lois.
Lois Lane: Thanks, but where were you?
Clark Kent: Me? Oh, I must have fainted.


"Superman: Livewire (#2.5)" (1997)
Leslie Willis: [as Leslie Willis] What's the deal with you and Superman, huh?
Lois Lane: What are you talking about?
Leslie Willis: Come on, you're always getting exclusives with him. Just how exclusive are you two?
[Clark Kent clears his throat nervously]
Lois Lane: It's not like that.
Leslie Willis: Oh it's not, huh? Ah, I guess we'll never know if his pj's have that big red S on them too.


"Adventures of Superman: Olsen's Millions (#3.7)" (1955)
Jimmy Olsen: There goes approximately 5 million chocolate ice cream sodas - up in smoke.
Lois Lane: Aw, you know what they say. Money can't buy happiness.
Jimmy Olsen: Yeah, but think how comfortably I could have suffered.


"Smallville: Rage (#6.7)" (2006)
Lois Lane: What were you thinking?
Clark Kent: I was looking out for you.
Lois Lane: I have 20/20 vision, Smallville. I look out for myself.


"Smallville: Upgrade (#9.17)" (2010)
Lois Lane: Tess. How not surprised am I to see you here. By the way, this is the least-secret secret lab I've ever been in... twice.


Volcano (1942)
[last lines]
Clark Kent: How's the story coming, Lois?
Lois Lane: Oh, fine, Clark. Too bad you weren't in on it.
Clark Kent: Maybe I would have been, if I hadn't lost my pass.


"Superman: The Late Mr. Kent (#2.22)" (1997)
[Lois is looking at a picture of her with Clark]
Lois Lane: I always teased him...
[In tears]
Lois Lane: ... But I had so much respect. And I liked him too. I really did. I wish I'd told him.
Superman: Well, maybe he'll show up yet.
Lois Lane: I thought for sure he would, especially after I talked to that so-called eye witness.
Superman: The fisherman?
Lois Lane: Yeah, I found out he has 20/200 eyesight! And he wasn't wearing his glasses on the boat. It's a wonder he could see the ocean.
Superman: Then Clark could've made it to shore, after all.
Lois Lane: Yeah, but he would have contacted someone by now. That's the real proof he's dead.


Destruction Inc. (1942)
[last lines]
Lois Lane: Well, Pop, Superman put an end to their little act.
[she removes his disguise]
Lois Lane: And this puts an end to yours, Clark Kent.


"Smallville: Reckoning (#5.12)" (2006)
Lois Lane: [Noticing that Lana has a LOT on her mind] Okay. Spill it.
[Lana waits to respond]
Lois Lane: Let me guess. Three words: tall, dark, and bumbling.
Lana Lang: Have you ever thought you knew someone so completely and then it turns out that there's this WHOLE other side to them.
Lois Lane: Well are we in arms dealer territory, or are we talking the Crying Game?
Lana Lang: Nothing like that.
Lois Lane: Then I guess the question is, does it change the way you feel about him?
Lana Lang: Maybe.
Lois Lane: Look I know this might not mean much coming from me but, I would be lucky to end up with someone as honorable as Clark someday.
[Lana smiles]


"Smallville: Veritas (#7.15)" (2008)
Lois Lane: Okay. Better make sure that camera is loaded with ammo because I got tomorrow's headline. "Daughter of Nobel-Winning Astronomer Murdered."
Jimmy Olsen: That Swann woman they fished out of the lake last night?
Lois Lane: Yeah.
Jimmy Olsen: I thought that she drowned.
Lois Lane: More like sank. Kind of hard to swim after you've been shot.


"Smallville: Fragile (#5.18)" (2006)
Martha Kent: Since you're gonna be bedridden for a few days, I brought you some stuff to read.
Lois Lane: Thank you.
Martha Kent: The Chief of Staff for a state senator needs to be fully informed on all sides of the issues.
Lois Lane: Wait a minute. You want me to be your Chief of Staff?
Clark Kent: Mom, uh... are you sure you don't wanna think this through?


"Superman: The Main Man: Part I (#1.9)" (1996)
Lois Lane: I'm confused, Kent. See, I've lived in Metropolis most of my life and I can't figure out how some yokel from Smallville is suddenly getting every hot story in town.
Clark Kent: Well, Lois, the truth is I'm actually Superman in disguise, and I only pretend to be a journalist in order to hear about disasters as they happen and then squeeze you out of the byline.
Lois Lane: You're a sick man, Kent.
Clark Kent: You asked.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Virtually Destroyed (#3.10)" (1995)
Lois Lane: [Clark has just admitted to her that he's never been physically intimate with a woman] It just means that you're a v... a very patient person.


"Justice League: Hereafter (#2.19)" (2003)
J'onn J'onzz: Batman hasn't arrived. Have you spoken with him?
Wonder Woman: He's still not answering calls. He doesn't handle loss very well.
[at Superman's funeral, people start murmuring]
Hawkgirl: Is that him now? I can't see.
Lois Lane: I can.
[Luthor has appeared among the mourners]
Lois Lane: Luthor, how dare you show your face here!
Lex Luthor: Lois, I...
Lois Lane: [slaps him] Have you come to gloat? You've tried to get rid of him for years! Are you happy now? Isn't this what you've always wanted? I hate you! I HATE YOU!
[she starts beating him with her fists, then collapses into his arms, sobbing]
Lex Luthor: Believe it or not, I'm going to miss him too.


The Magnetic Telescope (1942)
[last lines]
Lois Lane: Oh, how did you get here?
Clark Kent: Thanks to Superman.


"Smallville: Arctic (#7.20)" (2008)
Lois Lane: Seriously Clark, don't you think you're destined for greater things in life than working on a farm?
Clark Kent: Even if I wanted the job, Lois, I'd never work for Lex Luthor.
Lois Lane: Okay. Then why were you such great friends with the guy? Looking into Lex's past, I found out how far you two go back. You're nothing alike. Why were you so close for so long?
Clark Kent: Sometimes, people don't turn out to be what you thought they were. Lois, if you continue working for Lex, promise me you'll be careful.
Lois Lane: [scoffs] You know, if I didn't know any better, Smallville, I'd think you were worried about me.


"Adventures of Superman: Superman on Earth (#1.1)" (1952)
[Jimmy, Lois, and a photographer drive to a location where a man is hanging on a blimp, his life being in danger]
Lois Lane: Step on it, Jim.
Jimmy Olsen: The speed limit's 35, Miss Lane. I don't wanna get a ticket.
[pause]
Lois Lane: You're right.


Superman Classic (2011)
Lois Lane: All right, Kent. I don't know how it works on the farm, but here in the big leagues, you can't run out on one of your little potty breaks every time a big story's about to hit.
Superman: For Pete's sakes, Lois! Can I help it if my bladder gets a little... 'Silly Susan' when I get nervous?
[People in Metropolis suddenly run in panic as a giant robot appears from out of nowhere]
Lois Lane: Clark? Clark!
[Lois runs out to look for Clark, who is inside a phone booth changing into Superman]


"Smallville: Apocalypse (#7.18)" (2008)
Lois Lane: [as Clark superspeeds with her in his arms] Talk about sweeping a girl off her feet.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Forget Me Not (#3.18)" (1996)
Lois Lane: First I break in, now I'm about to go through this man's office. How can something so wrong feel so right?


"Superman: Identity Crisis (#2.6)" (1997)
[Bizarro is holding up a collapsing roof to allow Superman to save Lois]
Bizarro: Me hold, you save Lois. Me no am Superman, you am Superman. Superman always save Lois.
Lois Lane: You ARE a hero.


"Smallville: Oracle (#5.21)" (2006)
Lois Lane: Look, sometimes you gotta tuck your feelings away until it's the right time. Like stuffing dollars into a piggy bank for a bike you can't quite afford.
Clark Kent: Except I can't quite imagine there is anyone is out there.
Lois Lane: Oh, you never know, Clark. Even if you finally crack open that piggy bank, you found all this time you haven't been saving for a bike. You been really saving it for a Harley.
Clark Kent: There are times when think you don't know me at all... and others where I think you know me better than anyone.
Lois Lane: That's what I'm here for, Smallville - one save at a time.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: The Prankster (#2.4)" (1994)
Lois Lane: Clark, I don't want to die.
Clark Kent: Lois, I would not let that happen.


"Superman: Monkey Fun (#2.13)" (1997)
Lois Lane: [being reunited with a chimp that she knew as a child] Titano, remember me? Lo-Loo?
Clark Kent: 'Lo-Loo'?
Lois Lane: I was eight, okay?


"Smallville: Crossfire (#9.6)" (2009)
Lois Lane: You know how Clark and I have this side job hosting "Good Morning Metropolis"?
Oliver Queen: Uh... Clark Kent's hosting morning television? I can't wait to watch him show me how to bake a cake.
Lois Lane: Well, our first report does have some heat, but it's not about baking. They've set us both up for blind dates.
Oliver Queen: [chuckles] Clark's on a blind date? Talk about footage of a train wreck.


Electric Earthquake (1942)
[last lines]
Clark Kent: You know, Lois, the old island looks just as good as ever.
Lois Lane: That's right, Clark, thanks to Superman.


"Superman: Double Dose (#2.10)" (1997)
Lois Lane: Inspector, is the S.C.U. really prepared to deal with Livewire?
Dan Turpin: If that short circuit shows her mug anywhere in this town, I will personally...
Livewire: [Voice only] Pucker up and plant a big wet one right on the lips!
[Livewire shows up in person and kisses Turpin on the lips, causing speakers to blow out one by one]


"Smallville: Kara (#7.2)" (2007)
Grant Gabriel: Tell me about your close encounter.
Lois Lane: Can't share a trade secret. I work for your rival, The Inquisitor.
Grant Gabriel: Our rival? This is The Daily Planet, read in virtually every country across the globe. We have no rival.


"Batman: The Brave and the Bold: Battle of the Superheroes! (#3.1)" (2011)
Perry White: Great Ceaser's ghost! Are you sure about this?
Jimmy Olsen: Yes, sir. Superman's turned into a real di...
Lois Lane: [cuts off Jimmy] Different person.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: When Irish Eyes Are Killing (#3.4)" (1995)
Clark Kent: You know how, because I'm Superman, I've never had a cold or the flu? So I don't know how that feels. Well, all that has changed since I fell in love with you.
Lois Lane: Are you saying loving me is like being sick?


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Barbarians at the Planet (#1.20)" (1994)
Lois Lane: Let me just put on a robe.
Superman: Unless it's lead lined, it's a waste of time.


"Smallville: Pariah (#4.12)" (2005)
Chloe Sullivan: Lois, if you found out something, something someone didn't want you to know about them, would you tell them?
Lois Lane: That depends. Is that person someone you care about?
Chloe Sullivan: Yeah.
Lois Lane: And does keeping the secret hurt anyone?
Chloe Sullivan: No.
Lois Lane: Then my answer is no. If I really cared about that person, I wouldn't tell them that I knew. But I would go out of my way to be supportive of them so that hopefully, one day, they would be comfortable enough to tell me themselves.


Japoteurs (1942)
[last lines]
Clark Kent: Well, you're safe in this plane, Lois.
Lois Lane: I'd feel much safer if Superman were here.


The Bulleteers (1942)
[last lines]
Clark Kent: Nice going, Lois. Another great scoop for you.
Lois Lane: It was easy, thanks to Superman.


"Smallville: Phantom (#6.22)" (2007)
Chloe Sullivan: Look, Lois, take it from someone who's gone up against the Lex Luthor army more than once. Not only will victory remain elusive, but you're almost certain to step on a land mine in the process.
Lois Lane: I'm the general's daughter, remember? I live for battle.


Billion Dollar Limited (1942)
[last lines]
Superman: Uncanny how Superman turns up just when you need him.
Lois Lane: I didn't even get a chance to thank him.


"Superman: Blasts from the Past: Part II (#2.2)" (1997)
[after Jax-Ur has sent Superman into the Phantom Zone]
Lois Lane: I'm gonna personally lead the army that vaporizes you two!
Mala: Or vice-versa. Either way, see you soon.


"Smallville: Hypnotic (#5.16)" (2006)
Chloe Sullivan: Oh, my god. I just knocked out Martha Kent.
Lois Lane: Hello? The woman was about to wallpaper her living room with my brain matter.


"Smallville: Roulette (#9.5)" (2009)
Clark Kent: All right, Lois. You show up with every shark movie known to man and 11 loads of laundry when I've seen you take socks to the dry cleaner. Are you okay?
Lois Lane: I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be fine? I'm totally not fine. Even if it is stupid, but - but it's not stupid. It's Oliver's birthday today, and we always go out for beer pongs on our birthdays. But today is about to be yesterday in T-minus...
[sees that it is past midnight on clock wall]
Lois Lane: ...negative minutes. It's over. He totally missed it. How does a guy with nine different phone numbers not return a phone call?
Clark Kent: Probably just celebrating with someone else.
Lois Lane: Wow. Tall, dark, and single. Go figure. Do you know something? You would tell me if you did, right?
Clark Kent: I'm sure Oliver's just fine. But paying him a visit wouldn't hurt.


Eleventh Hour (1942/I)
[last lines]
American Reporter: How about Clark Kent? Did he get away?
Lois Lane: No, no, he's still over there. But don't worry. Superman promised to look after him.


"Justice League: Divided We Fall (#4.12)" (2005)
Clark Kent: Working late?
Lois Lane: Hey, Smallville. Finishing up my Justice League story. How many Ls in "ambivalent"?
Clark Kent: One. Is that your take on all this, Lois?
Lois Lane: I've been tough on the Justice League as anyone, especially Superman. That's just because he's always set such a high standard. I'm gonna cut him a break. He's only human... You know what I mean.
Clark Kent: [Smiles] Yeah. I do.


"Smallville: Echo (#9.4)" (2009)
[Lois almost hits Clark with her car after the explosion]
Lois Lane: Clark. Did I miss him?
Clark Kent: If you by "him" mean me, barely.


Terror on the Midway (1942)
[last lines]
Clark Kent: Lucky Lois. Always gets her story.
Lois Lane: And luckily she lived to write it.
Clark Kent: Thanks to... Superman?


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Voice from the Past (#4.19)" (1997)
Clark Kent: [after Lois is forced by Mr. Smith to leave Clark] So you don't love me?
Lois Lane: No, I don't.
Mr. Smith: [only heard by Lois] Good, Lois, very good. I know that was difficult for you, but his pain is as important to me as yours.


Superman (1948)
Jimmy Olsen: [unaware of approaching derailment] This train is really goin'. The engineer must be late for dinner.
Lois Lane: The way he's traveling he hasn't eaten all week!
[looks out window]


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Through a Glass, Darkly (#3.21)" (1996)
Lois Lane: Of course. Where else would it be? Every villain in the universe seems to operate out of Metropolis! For once, I just wish we could have a villain in Maui. Or Aspen. Or Monte Carlo.


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: The Family Hour (#4.22)" (1997)
Constance Bailey: Ms Lane, on almost a weekly basis, you manage to dangle above the Jaws of Death.
Lois Lane: I dangle about the Jaws of Death?
Constance Bailey: Like an hors d'oeuvre.


Showdown (1942)
[last lines]
Lois Lane: Hm, fine Superman you'd make.
Clark Kent: Well, I can dream, can't I?


"Smallville: Scion (#10.16)" (2011)
Lois Lane: Are you trying to tell me that Conner is the genetic love child of Clark Kent and Lex Luthor?
Clark Kent: You don't have to say it like that.


"Smallville: Conspiracy (#9.14)" (2010)
Lois Lane: Zod. How did you end up in my Nightmare on Psycho Street?


"Superman: Tools of the Trade (#1.12)" (1997)
[Lois rushes into the elevator and starts frantically pressing the button]
Lois Lane: Coming through! Big train wreck, five miles north, someone was standing on the tracks and right now I wish it was the guy who built this STUPID ELEVATOR!


"Superman: Father's Day (#2.15)" (1997)
Martha Kent: [seeing Kalibak run after Superman] Clark! Look out!
Lois Lane: [confused] Clark? Where-?


"Smallville: Fanatic (#5.10)" (2006)
Clark Kent: Dad, are you sure this guy knows what he's doing?
Jonathan Kent: Clark, Sosnick helped Jack win five elections. I'm sure he knows more about this stuff than we do.
Lois Lane: If you ask me, I think he's trying to turn you into a Luthor.
March Sosnick: Is there a problem?
Lois Lane: Yeah, I was just wondering if you've ever actually met the Kents. You see, the reason somebody is gonna vote for Mr. Kent is because they relate to him. And who is gonna believe that he supports local farmers when he looks like some big business blowhard - no offense, Mr. Kent - who wants to buy them out?
March Sosnick: Well, that's called bridging the demo gap, dear.
Lois Lane: Oh, and does bridging the gap also include misquoting your candidate?
Jonathan Kent: [reading the front page of a newspaper] Wait a minute, it says "Jonathan Kent is quoted as saying 'It is possible to serve corporate interests and maintain the the public welfare'"? I never said that.
March Sosnick: I did.
Jonathan Kent: You did?
March Sosnick: Yes. Look, this whole "John boy" thing, don't get me wrong, you're very good at it; may win over cowpokes, but there's a healthy pull of voters out there that are more familiar with venti lattes than they are with digging post holes.
Jonathan Kent: What I really need here is somebody who... cares about what I believe in more than they care about winning a race. I'm sorry, but you gotta go, Sosnick. You're fired.
March Sosnick: [handing a folder to Jonathan] Pack it up, guys.
Lois Lane: [as Sosnick and his team leave] Not that that didn't totally rock, Mr. Kent, but I have no idea how you're gonna find a replacement so quickly.
Jonathan Kent: I do.
Lois Lane: [Jonathan hands the folder to her] Oh, me? Um... what do I know about being a campaign manager?
Jonathan Kent: What do I know about being a state senator?


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Soul Mates (#4.4)" (1996)
Lois Lane: [to Clark] I hope you don't do everything that fast.


The Death and Return of Superman (2011)
Lois Lane: Clark! Superman, everybody his name is Superman, not Clark. I love you!
Superman: How hard did I punch him? Did I punch him pretty hard?
Lois Lane: Yeah, you punched him like so hard.
Superman: Uhg.
[dies]
Lois Lane: Noooooo!


"Smallville: Reunion (#6.5)" (2006)
Clark Kent: You know, sometimes in order to protect the people we love, we keep secrets.
Lois Lane: That is... totally retarded.


World's Finest (2004)
Two-Face: I know all about your secret romance.
Lois Lane: He'll come for me and...
Two-Face: And we he does... he will die


Justice League: The New Frontier (2008) (V)
Lois Lane: America's champion, Superman, went down in defeat several hours ago. An exhaustive search has found no sign of him. Here at the Cape, the greatest minds in the free world, are now working on a plan to stop this monster before it reaches the coast. We cannot panic. We cannot let our sense of loss...
[stops the broadcast and starts crying]


"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Whine, Whine, Whine (#2.21)" (1995)
Clark Kent: Lois, you and I haven't exactly been . . . getting along. It's my fault. I should tell you--
Lois Lane: Yeah, it's your fault! It's your fault . . . and it's my fault. You know, we let ourselves get distracted, and we work too much, and we fight about silly things . . . and all because we're trying to hide from each other, and I'm sick of it! The only reason to hide is because we're scared.
Clark Kent: Of what?
Lois Lane: Of the fact that we're partners . . . and best friends . . . and this.
[kisses him]
Lois Lane: Clark, if you're going to run away from this, tell me now.
Clark Kent: I'm not going to run, Lois. I'm ready to take the next step, if you are.


"Smallville: Descent (#7.16)" (2008)
Lois Lane: You shot me?
Gina: You weren't cooperating.
Jimmy Olsen: How about a warning?


"Smallville: Luthor (#10.10)" (2010)
Lois Lane: What are these for?
Clark Kent: Nothing says "Sorry My Doppelganger From A Parallel Earth Tried To Kill You" like flowers.
Lois Lane: I think there's a card for that now.
Clark Kent: The store was out. I destroyed the mirror box. You won't ever have to worry about seeing him again.
Lois Lane: He wasn't you, Clark. I mean, not *you* you.
Clark Kent: Well, I know the circumstances were different from that side, but that was still me in that mirror. And the way you looked at me, Lois, it was so much hate... it was like you already formed your opinion about Clark Luthor - for good reason. He was a monster. I was a monster.
Lois Lane: Kind of makes you wonder how "Earth Two" Lois Lane managed to put up with such a colossal tool.
Clark Kent: Consider yourself universally consistent. Didn't cut him any slack. But I do think she was about to give him another chance.
Lois Lane: You don't need to worry about second chances with me. You're doing really well with the first one.


Bizarro Classic (2012)
Superman: [shivering] Lois, have you any idea... h-how ridiculous you sound right now?
Lois Lane: Oh, cut the comedy, Kent! Do you really think that hiding behind a pair of glasses and acting like a complete pussywillow is gonna fool this ace reporter? You're caught! Admit it! You are Sup...
[Lois suddenly sees Bizarro flying outside the office window. Clark leaves the office while she is distracted]
Lois Lane: Oh! Well, that's bizarre.
[She notices Clark's empty chair spinning]
Lois Lane: Kent?


The Mechanical Monsters (1941)
[last lines]
Clark Kent: That's a wonderful story, Lois.
Lois Lane: Thanks, Clark. But I owe it all to Superman.