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: I don't know about you, Miss Kitty, but I feel so much yummier.
: What do you want? The Penguin
: Ah, the direct approach. I admire that in a man with a mask.
[laughs, then turns serious
] The Penguin
: You don't really think you'll win, do you? Batman
: Things change.
[Catwoman backflips into the middle of the confrontation. They stare at her, momentarily nonplussed
[a store explodes, she slips off
] The Penguin
: I saw her first... gotta fly!
: I am Catwoman. Hear me roar.
: Somebody say fish? I haven't be fed all day! Batman
: Eat floor.
[throws Catwoman down
: High fiber.
: You poor guys. Always confusing your pistols with your privates.
: Don't hurt us, lady. Our take-home's less than three-hundred. Catwoman
: You're overpaid. Hit the road.
Maximillian 'Max' Shreck
: Selina! Selina Kyle, you're fired! And Bruce Wayne, why are you dressed up like Batman? Catwoman
: Because he *is* Batman, you moron! Maximillian 'Max' Shreck
[Catwoman is hit
: How could you? I'm a woman. Batman
: I'm sorry, I-I...
[she hits him
: As I was saying, I'm a woman and can't be taken for granted. Life's a bitch, now so am I.
[crouched atop a dazed Batman
: You're catnip to a girl like me. Handsome, dazed, and to die for. Batman
: Mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it. Catwoman
: But a kiss can be even deadlier if you mean it. You're the second man who killed me this week, but I've got seven lives left. Batman
: I tried to save you. Catwoman
: Seems like every woman you try to save ends up dead... or deeply resentful. Maybe you should retire.
: Check it out. We're gonna disassemble his Batmobile and turn it into an H-bomb on wheels. Catwoman
: No, no, he'd have even more power as a martyr. To destroy Batman, we must first turn him into what he hates the most. Namely us.
: Not even in office yet and already an enemies list, hmm? The Penguin
: Those names are not for prying eyes. Hey, why should I trust some cat-broad, anyway? Maybe you're just a screwed-up sorority chick who's gettin' back at her daddy for not buying her that pony when she turned sweet sixteen.
[plotting against Batman
: Batman napalmed my arm, he knocked me off a building just when I was starting to feel good about myself. I wanna play an integral part in his degradation. The Penguin
: A plan is forming. Catwoman
: I want in. The thought of busting Batman makes me feel all... dirty. Maybe I'll just give myself a bath right here.
[licks herself in a cat-like manner
: We need to talk. You see, you and I have something in common. The Penguin
: Sounds familiar. Appetite for destruction? Contempt for the czars of fashion? Wait, don't tell me...
[begins to crawl onto the bed she's sitting on
] The Penguin
: naked sexual charisma. Catwoman
: Batman. The thorn in both our sides. The fly in our ointment. The Penguin
[jumps up and picks up two bottles
] The Penguin
: Scented or unscented? Catwoman
: I'll come back later.
: Please. I wouldn't touch you to scratch you.
: Bruce... I would - I would love to live with you in your castle... forever, just like in a fairy tale.
[Batman caresses the back of her head
: [she claws Batman on the cheek
] I just couldn't live with myself, so don't pretend this is a happy ending!
: [falling into an open gravel filled truck
] Saved by kitty litter.
: It's chilly in here. The Penguin
: I'll warm you.
: You said you were going to scare the Ice Princess. The Penguin
: She looked pretty scared to me!
Maximillian 'Max' Shreck
: I don't know what you want, but I know I can get it for you, with a minimum of fuss! Money, jewels, a *very* big ball of string. Catwoman
: Your blood, Max. Maximillian 'Max' Shreck
: My blood, I gave, at the office. Catwoman
: A half pint, I'm talking gallons. Maximillian 'Max' Shreck
: Let's make a deal, other than my blood. What can I do for you? Catwoman
: Sorry, Max, a die for a die!
: Game over! Catwoman
: Guess what? It's overtime!
] The day I died was the day I started to live. In my old life, I longed for someone to see what was special in me. You did, and for that, you'll always be in my heart. But what I really needed was for me to see it. And now I do. You're a good man, Tom. But you live in a world that has no place for someone like me. You see, sometimes I'm good. Oh, I'm very good. But sometimes I'm bad. But only as bad as I wanna be. Freedom is power. To live a life untamed and unafraid is the gift that I've been given, and so my journey begins.
] It all started on the day that I died. If there had been an obituary, it would have described the unremarkable life of an unremarkable woman, survived by no one. But there was no obituary, because the day that I died was also the day I started to live. But that comes later. This was my life. Days blended together, consistently ordinary, thanks to a job that was the practical version of my passion. I was supposed to be an artist by now. Instead, I was designing ads for beauty cream.
: White Russian, no ice, no vodka... hold the Kahlua.
: If you have no identity, why keep it a secret? Catwoman
: Because you killed me.
: Time to accessorize!
: [Pets Midnight while holding a black cat mask
] You saved my life, Midnight. But somebody killed me and I've got to find out who and why.
: You like bad girls? Tom Lone
: Only if they like me back.
: Cats come when they feel like it. Not when they're told.
: [Batman unexpectedly finds Catwoman napping in his Batmobile
] About time you got here. Batman
: Let me guess. You needed a warm place to spend the night. Catwoman
: Kind of. Batman
: I know of one. Jail.
: After what I just did for you, you don't trust me? Batman
: I might have been knocked out twice tonight, but I still have my long-term memory.
: [about the Cat Cultists
] And you can't get rid of them. They're like old boyfriends or warts. Batman
: And you figured I'd save your skin. Catwoman
: That's what you do, isn't it? Batman
: Normally, but it'll cost you. Catwoman
: Mmm. What do you have in mind? Batman
: Everything you've ever stolen. It all goes back to the owners. Catwoman
: You're crazy. That's my life's work you're talking about. Batman
: All right, then.
[Batman slows down the Batmobile, allowing the Cultists to catch up
: We got a deal. Drive!
: Look guys, fun is fun, but enough already. How about I give the statue back, say I'm sorry, and we forget the whole thing? Martin
: Too late for that. It's been defiled, and the only way to sanctify it is with blood. Catwoman
: And that would be mine, huh? No thanks.
: It's some kind of cult. Catwoman
: Some detective. I could have told you that. Batman
: It began in ancient Egypt. The cult worshiped cats, and one of their holiest rites was theft. Catwoman
: Wait a minute. Cat worship? Theft? Those guys should be praying to me. Batman
: Not likely.
: I should kill you, you know. There's no reason not to. Catwoman
: I could give you one. Or two. Thomas Blake
: No one's ever eluded us for as long as you did. What's your secret? Catwoman
: What's yours? No one's ever chased me as long as you did. Normally, I like men who don't know when to quit, but... Thomas Blake
: We're deeply committed to our faith. Catwoman
: Ah, yes. Your faith. Why don't you tell me all about it? Female Cultist
: She's stalling. Let's kill her and be done with it! Thomas Blake
: She asked about our faith. That's the first step towards conversion.
[Unshackles Catwoman's ankles and wrists
: And conversion's good for the soul. Not to mention the body.
: So, you see I've always loved cats, and I've always loved stealing. It's like I was one of you all along without even knowing it. Female Cultist
: Rubbish. You're just a common thief.
[Catwoman grabs the female Cultist around the neck
: I'm a spectacular thief.
: You and your submarine! Look where it's got us now! The Penguin
: Shut up, you feline floozy!
] You're going to see the purr-fect crime, when I get Batman in my claws!
: [on how much the four villains fight
] We're about as united as the United World Organization.
: This bird has flown around the bend. The Joker
: Too cuckoo to land! The Catwoman
: Riddler! Joker! Do something! We weren't meant for a watery grave, *do something*! The Joker
: Now hear this! Now hear this! Blow all tanks! Surface! Surface!
: Riddler, you fool! Penguin must have finished them by now! The Riddler
: Why, that stupid waddling mountebank of a bird? He couldn't finish a bag of popcorn!
: [to Batman, posing as Kitka
] If you please, to take off the mask to give the better picture? Commissioner Gordon
: Great Scott! Batman take off his mask? Chief O'Hara
: The woman must be mad! Batman
: Please... Chief O'Hara... all of you. This young lady is a stranger to our shores. Her request is not unnatural, however, impossible to grant. The Catwoman
: Impossible? Batman
: Indeed. If Robin and I were to remove our masks, the secret of our true identities would be revealed. Commissioner Gordon
: Completely destroying their value as ace crimefighters. Chief O'Hara
: Sure, ma'am. Not even Commisioner Gordon and meself know who they really are. Robin
: In fact, our own relatives we live with don't know. The Catwoman
: But your so curious costumes... Robin
: Don't be put off by them, ma'am. Underneath this garb, we're perfectly ordinary Americans. The Catwoman
: You are like the masked vigilantes in the Westerns, no? Commissioner Gordon
: Certainly not! Batman and Robin are fully deputized agents of the law. Robin
: Support your police! That's our message! Batman
: Well said, Robin... and no better way to end this press conference... thank you, and good day.
[Penguin's submarine has been fired upon by Batman and Robin
] The Catwoman
: Penguin, you know I can't take water! The Penguin
: You cowardly kitten! You want to live forever?
: [after dodging a sniper bullet
] This place is dangerous... I like it!
: [window shatters offscreen
] It's Batman!
[Catwoman walks into view
] Arkham thug
: What the hell? Catwoman
: Sorry you disappoint you boys. It's just little ol' me.
: Figured you could use my help. Batman
: You're right, I think I chipped a nail back there.
: No gun, Harv? Shame. This is gonna hurt. Two-Face
: TWO guns, bitch!
: How's it hangin', Harv?
: [sees Penguin trapped in a display case
] What the hell are you supposed to be? The Penguin
: Piss off! Catwoman
: Really? Okay, if you insist. Oh, I forgot to say, speak to me like that again, Penguin, and I'll show you just what it feels like for a poor little bird to be torn apart by a cat. The Penguin
: Please, don't hurt me! I didn't mean it! Catwoman
: That's much nicer. See, you can be nice, Oswald. See you around.
: [after Batman helps Catwoman defeat Two-Face
] Anyone ever tell you you're full of surprises? Batman
: I figured you could use my help, Selena. Catwoman
: You're right, I think I chipped a nail back there. Batman
: Funny. Catwoman
: So what do you need, Mr. Detective? Batman
: Protocol 10. What do you know, Selena? Catwoman
: Never heard of it. Batman
: That's not what I wanted to hear. What about Strange? Catwoman
: I don't trust him. He's been missing for years, and suddenly he's been put in charge running Arkham City. Rumor has it he's been working with Joker, planning something special just for you. Maybe *that's* Protocol 10. The Joker
: [Off-Screen, looking through a scope
] Twinkle, twinkle, little Bat. Watch me kill your favorite Cat.
[laughs and coughs
: The *Ex* District Attorney here said something...
[Batman then sees a green laser on Catwoman knowing that it's The Joker wanting to kill her, but Batman grabs Catwoman and shoves her out of the way of the bullet before the bullet struck Catwoman
: What the hell? The Joker
: [Off-Screen, looking through a scope
] See you soon, Bats.
[laughs and coughs
: This place is dangerous, I like it. You expecting a kiss? Batman
: It was Joker. You're not safe here. No-one is. Catwoman
: Nine lives, remember?
[Uses her whip to escape from the courtroom
: Holy oleo! Catwoman
: I didn't know you could yodel!
: Holy cliché. Does he expect us to fall for that? Catwoman
: Ah, my tenacious teenager, you have a lot to learn.
: You witch! Catwoman
: Batman! With all your many attributes, you haven't learned the first thing about good manners. A gentleman would kiss a lady's hand. Batman
: You are not a lady!
: The early cat catches the bat-man.
: It's too bad it had to end now, guys. But look at it this way: you will have starred in a new show. Batman
: What's that? Catwoman
: Bat on a hot tin roof!
[Catwoman and her cat-burglars laugh
: That's not a bit funny.
: [as Batman and Robin are fighting her henchmen
] Enough. Enough! Cease this... fiddle-dee-dee.
: You're Catwoman! Catwoman
: In the fur.
: So you didn't tell the truth! Catwoman
: Did you ever hear of a crook who did?
: You're very beautiful, Catwoman. Catwoman
: Yes... you're quite right, I am...
: You're supposed to fall on the floor. Batman
: You're attractive, Catwoman, but not that attractive.
: There no room for another man in my life, Mr. Wayne. You're nice, but my heart belongs to Batman.
: Batman, let's throw caution to the wind. I mean after all we are two adult human beings and we're both interested in the same thing. Happiness. I can give you more happiness than anyone in the world. Batman
: How do you propose to do that? Catwoman
: By being your partner in life. I mean it's you and me against the world. Batman
: What about Robin? Catwoman
: I'll have him killed. Painlessly. Well he is a bit of a bore with his 'holy this' and 'holy that'.
: No hero worth his salt would let a lady expire. It's foolproof I tell you - purrrfectly foolproof. Batgirl
: And you, Catwoman, are an even bigger fool than I thought you were. Catwoman
: Angora, gag her! Crimefighters should be seen and not heard.
[to Batgirl, who is the bait to lure the Caped Crusader away from a visiting Queen he is supposed to be guarding
: You better pray that Batman is a man-man more than he is a police-man.
[Catwoman orders Batgirl tied to a garment factory pattern cutter
: Yes, my dear, you will make a purrrfect pinafore - the type of garment no one will recognize you in, or as... if you'll pardon a final cutting remark.
: Who are you? Catwoman
: Catwoman! Queen Bess
: Is she on my list for today's audience? Queen Bess' Attendant
: No, Your Royal Goodness. Queen Bess
: Call my social secretary for an appointment... Catwoman
: [Catwoman sprays the Queen and her attendants with knockout spray
] Sorry, Queenie, but I'm anti-social.
: How can Batgirl be the best anything when Catwoman is around?
: No Best Dressed list is complete without the addition of the Queen of Criminals, the Princess of Plunder, yours untruly.
: If I were to kiss you, would you think I was a... bad girl? Batman
: But, eh, no... No, of course not, Catwoman. Kissing is one of the most natural things in the world... eh, some people kiss almost every day, and - I'm told...
: Are your see in the dark glasses in order, Meany, Miney, Moe? Meanie
: You bet. Miney
: They sure are. Moe
: Ready to go.
: [pointing her cat shaped revolver at Batman's cowled face
] Beg. Beg for your mortal existence. Batman
: I'd rather die than beg for such a small favor as my life.
: Batman, why for art thou doing this to me? Batman
: It's my job, Catwoman. Catwoman
: We could make such beautiful music together... Robin
: You'll play a different tune when we're through with you. And all the notes will be sour. Catwoman
: Party pooper. Teenagers should be seen and not heard. All right, men, destroy the Dynamic Duo!
: [talking to Batman & Robin who are held in the sound-magnifying device
] I am sure you recognize this as a variation of the legendary Chinese water torture. When I throw that switch, the noise will become excruciating... and your eardrums will be shattered. Shortly folling that, your brains will be turned into *yeccchhh*!
: Let's put something straight: Catwoman is top dog around here, and let's not forget it, Eenie!
: When we complete this caper, we're gonna have enough money to keep us in catnip forever.
: [of Bruce Wayne
] I like the way that man operates.
: What're you trying to do, drown me? Catwoman
: Not a bad idea, Joker.
: I stole those jewels fair and square.
: I'm getting very close. Catwoman
: [turns on the lights
] Just close enough, Batman!
: He carries a hardware store in that belt of his!
: The game is yours, Batman, but you've used up your nine lives. When we meet again, and I promise you we will, there will be a different ending.
: This is a surprise attack! Now, you all have your instructions... synchronize watches! Spade
: None of us have watches. Catwoman
] Agh! Just... get the money and run!
[to a drugged Robin
: How are you feeling, Robin? Robin
: Hmmm... Purr-fect! Catwoman
: You're learning.
: Never thought the day would come when Robin would be my sycophant, did ya? Aunt Harriet
: [being tied up by Pussycat
] Oh dear, is there anything left to believe in?
[Catwoman sees Batman for the first time
: Magnificent... Batman
: I suggest you save your flattery for the judge.
: You can't deny there's something between us. Batman
: You're right, and I'm afraid it's the law.
: It's a new explosive that makes no noise. It's called "silentmite".
: I'll do everything I can to rehabilitate you. Catwoman
: [perks up
] Marry me. Batman
: Everything except that. A wife, no matter how beauteous, or affectionate would severely impair my crimefighting. Catwoman
: But I could help you in your work. As a former criminal, I'd be invaluable. I can reform, honestly I can. Batman
: What about Robin? Catwoman
: [pulls a disgusted face
] Robin? Oh, I've got it: we'll kill him. Batman
: I see you're not really ready to assume a life in society.
: [Batman is fighting Catwoman's pet tiger, Tigerlily
] T.T.F.N. Batman
: And what's that's supposed to mean? Catwoman
: Ta ta for now. I'm off to pluck Robin's feathers.
: From now on: pussy willows galore. We're rich!
: [releases a crane of lumber on Scarface
] That's one way to remove a splinter.
: We don't have to make this difficult. Catwoman
: But somehow, we always do...
: Show's over, Joker! The Joker
: [buried under his talk show set
] Catwoman, ladies and gentlemen! Let's hear it for her.
[Catwoman makes a pass at Batman, but he leaves
: Huh... almost got 'im.
: Felix? Felix
: Yes Catwoman? Catwoman
: You can brush my pussy willows before you leave. And don't go against the fur. Felix
: I'll treat them like they was my very own.
: [off screen
] If you pick the right door, I'm yours, Batman. If you pick the wrong door, you're mine. So which is it, Batman? The lady or the tiger?
: [Catwoman drives up to the recently released Joker in her Catmobile
] You want a lift, big boy? The Joker
: Make it look good Catwoman, pull a gun on me the way we planned. They're probably watching us. Catwoman
: [draws cat gun
] Get in this car or I'll blow whatever little brains you have, out! The Joker
: [puts up his arms
] She's kidnapping me, honest!
Little Louie Groovy
: Look, if your here to rob me, I ought to warn ya that I'm a karate expert and I can hurt ya. So stay back!
[takes a stance
] Little Louie Groovy
: Heeya! Catwoman
: [to henchmen
] Karate isn't effective unless accompanied by yelling. Let him howl until he springs a vocal cord, then get him!
: Fresh catnip? At *this* time of night?
: [on phone, pretending to be Dr. Somnambula's secretary
] The doctor's quite busy at the moment, Mrs. Spaghetti. There are 80 patients in the office, 206 in the waiting room and a line outside extends around Gotham park...
: ... several times. J. Pauline Spaghetti
: [on other line
] I am only interested in my own problems, nobody elses.
: Darkseid's energy merged with energy from the other universe. Dark Kahn's mere existence is what causing the two universes to collide. Superman
: That explains the attacks on me and the rest of you. The strange fluctuations of our powers. Lex Luthor
: It was you - your heat vision. You blasted Darkseid's boomtube and sent him hurtling into some unknown universe. This is all your fault. Superman
: You accuse me? You helped Darkseid invade the Earth! Remember? The Joker
: Fight, fight, fight, fight! Captain Marvel
: Both of you calm down. You're being poisoned by the Kombat Rage. Lex Luthor
: Poisoned by what? Captain Marvel
: The dark energies from the world merge. We can't fight them on ourselves. We need to work together to find Dark Kahn. Catwoman
: I have lives to spare. How do we find this Dark Kahn? Superman
: If Dark Kahn is made of Darkseid's energy, it's a good chance he's on Apokolips. Lex Luthor
: I know where we can access one of Dark Kahn's portals. I used it when Catwoman and I escaped. If their portal can take us to Oa, it can take us to Apokolips. Deathstroke, you and Joker secure that portal. This device will lead you to the base. Report back to me when you've succeeded. Deathstroke
: You want me to assault an enemy base with him? The Joker
: Come on. We'll kill things, blow things up. Oh, it'll be fun. Lex Luthor
: Catwoman, you're with me. Can't be too safe in this town. Too many criminals. Superman and Captain America, you gather your hero allies and wait for my word. Superman
: All right, Lex. I'll trust you, for now. You get to the portals, I'll go to the Fortress of Solitude and pull up everything I know about Darkseid. No killing. If one of you steps out of line, believe me, I'll know.
: [after being defeated by The Flash
] This is why I don't play nice with you hero types. Kano
: [Coming in and picking up a valuable item that Catwoman dropped
] Ooh. This is a bit of tardy some. The Flash
: Alright, what's your deal?
[Then is effected by the Kombat rage
: You don't look so good, matey. Catwoman
: I'll take that.
[Takes the item from Kano
[Catwoman then disappears in a portal
] The Flash
: Alright, hand over the gem. Kano
: Can't, matey. She took it. The Flash
: And you helped her escape? Kano
: I don't like your attitude, you need to be taught some manners.
[Then Kano shoots lasers from his eyes but The Flash dodges out of the way
: You give Kabal a run for his money. The Flash
: My turn.
[He fights Kano and defeats him, then has Kano by the neck and is about to kill him and Batman appears
: Who is that man, and what are you doing here in Gotham? The Flash
: Batman. This freak, this freak tried to kill me. Now, I'm gonna return the favor. Batman
: No, you're not. It's clear that something's wrong with you. The Flash I know doesn't kill. The Flash
: He does now.
[Fights Batman and defeats him
] The Flash
: I thought you were a master of hand-to-hand combat. Batman
: [Tazes The Flash
] I am.
: [about Sandman
] For such a highly respected criminal, there is something insidiously untrustworthy about Sandman...
: Cattie, pack at once! We're catching the first plane to the Canary Islands. Commissioner Gordon
: You've just missed that plane, Catwoman! Catwoman
: How'd you get in here? Chief O'Hara
: Where ever there's a cat, Catwoman, there's usually a back alley.
: What are you doing? Catwoman
: Just collecting what's mine. The cat's-eye emerald, the pearl of Argentina. Nightwing
: How's that yours? Catwoman
: I took it fair and square. Of course, getting it out of the country was another matter. I knew about Enrique's smuggling operation. Nightwing
: So you slipped it into one of his shipments. Catwoman
: My only problem was figuring out when the shipment was coming in. Nightwing
: You played me for a sap. Catwoman
: Aw, but such a sweet sap. The money the cat's-eye will bring is enough to take us anywhere.
: You know I can't do that. Catwoman
: I guess not. But you can't blame a girl for trying.
: You all right? Nightwing
: Just brokenhearted. She led us right to the emerald, just like you said. Catwoman
: You set "me" up! Nightwing
: Afraid so.
[walking along the bombed out street with her cat that the soldiers just saved out of the ruins of a house
: Damned soldiers! When are you going to stop your senseless war?
: Fools. Don't they know that tears are a woman's most effective weapon?
[an alarm goes off
: What's that? Cyborg
: It's the "None of Your Damn Business" Alarm.
: Take the jewels off the dummies, too. Batman
: [her henchman turns a cloaked figure around to reveal it's Batman
] Now who's a dummy?
: Maven?... Maven? Batman
: She's gone. The terrorists were after both of you. Catwoman
: Have you told the police you found your "cat burglar"? Batman
: Not yet. Catwoman
: Why not? Batman
: I didn't want you taken away like a common criminal. Catwoman
: So you do care.
[Batman cuffs her
: More than you'll ever know.
: Don't fret. With good behavior, you could be out in seven-and-a-half years. Catwoman
] I'll be an old tabby by then.
: You're smuggling more than diamonds, aren't you, Roughcut? Something far more precious. A little kitty told me. Rough Cut
: And you want a piece, is that it? Okay, keep your mouth shut and I'll cut you in for 10 percent. Catwoman
: I'll do the cutting here.
: [counting her steps
] 48... 49... 50!
: It should be around here somewhere, unless I counted wrong. The Joker
: Maybe feet were smaller in those days.